Second Adolescence

This week, we dive into a conversation about the experience of LGBTQ+ elderhood in the United States with two women who work with SAGE, the world's largest and oldest organization dedicated to improving the lives of LGBTQ+ elders and their caregivers: Sadiya Abjani (she/her), Director of Training and Instructional Design for SAGECare, and Darcy Connors (she/her), Executive Director of SAGEServes. Both women offer their experience, hearts, and wisdom as we talk about the wide range of experiences LGBTQ+ elders have, the need for greater awareness of their experiences, the need for increased inclusivity and safety in spaces LGBTQ+ elders are existing within today, and so much more!More About SAGE:Established in 1978, SAGE is the world’s largest and oldest organization dedicated to improving the lives of LGBTQ+ elders and their caregivers. The organization provides a wide variety of programs and services for LGBTQ+ elders, both in New York and nationwide, to ensure LGBTQ+ elders are given the resources they need to age with respect and dignity. SAGE also conducts advocacy efforts for LGBTQ+ elders and their caregivers and does so in many forms, such asmobilizing people when rights are at stake, educating policymakers about LGBTQ+ aging issues, marching and rallying with LGBTQ+ allies and more. Visit www.sageusa.org for more.For more about this episode and others, visit www.secondadolescenepod.com and @secondadolescencepod (IG).

What does it mean to "work with our younger selves," and why even bother? In this solo episode with me (host, Adam James Cohen, LMFT!) we will cover this and more. We ALL carry the wounds of our younger selves. And, like ghosts with unfinished business, the wounds of our younger selves - if left untended - can remain within us, like toxins, and come out in ways that interrupt the life we want for ourselves. Actively working with our younger selves is core to the whole theory of Second Adolescence as a framework for queer healing.In this episode, we'll cover:WHY it is valuable (and, likely, necessary) for LGBTQ+ adults to develop and maintain accessible relationship to our younger selves if we seek to find healing and liberation after growing up in an anti-queer world. WHAT it actually means to "work with our younger selves," and HOW we can more intentionally do thisIf after listening to today's episode you notice having a question you'd like answered or a comment you'd like to make and have either included in future Q&A episodes of the show, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com/ask to submit!For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod (IG).Download episode transcript here.

This week’s guest is writer Jared Dixon (he/him). Jared is a conversion therapy (CT) survivor and this conversation is all about his experience with CT. Jared lets us in to his personal story. We hear about his experience growing up, discovering his queerness, being sent to conversion therapy, and what healing has meant for him. Something so powerful about Jared is how he has used his experience as a CT survivor to really turn it into purpose, through both his award-winning debut novel, Corrupted: The Truth Shall Be The Nail In Your Coffin, and the work he does with the non-profit organization CT Survivors, a support group that provides holistic peer support for survivors of conversion therapy. About the guest:Jared Dixon is a writer and conversion therapy (CT) survivor who lives in Baltimore County, Maryland with his husband. His debut novel, Corrupted: The Truth Shall Be The Nail In Your Coffin, won the National Indie Excellence Award in the sexuality category, was awarded the bronze medal in the LGBTQ fiction category of the Dan Poynter's Global Ebook Awards, and was a finalist in the LGBTQ category of the Next Generation Indie Excellence Awards. He is the finance manager for the non-profit organization CT Survivors, a support group that provides holistic peer support for survivors of conversion therapy. Jared is also the vice president of the Baltimore chapter of DignityUSA, an organization committed to sacramental and social justice for LGBTQ+ people and their friends and families within the Catholic church. In his spare time, Jared enjoys reading, baking, and yoga and loves sharing his favorite books on his Instagram page. To learn more about Jared’s story and writings, follow him on Instagram (@dijared13) or visit www.jareddixon.com. CT Survivors Email: conversiontherapysurvivors@gmail.comFor more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.

Adam here, sharing about a new thing we’re going to be doing here on Second Adolescence!Since launching this podcast and Instagram community a couple years ago, I’ve received SO many DMs and emails from listeners sharing about their own experience, where they are at in their own Second Adolescence and healing journey, and asking me questions for advice on their situation. I also keep hearing from folks that they’d love the opportunity for listeners to ask me questions and have them answered on the podcast as a Q&A. And so, we are going to be doing just that!If YOU ever find yourself with a question you’d be curious to hear my take on and have these included in a future Q&A episode of the podcast, here are a few ways you can submit your question:VOICE MESSAGE: If you’d like to submit your question by voice message with the possibility of your recording being included in a published episode of the show, you can leave your voice message at: https://memo.fm/secondadolescence/WRITE IN: if you’d like to write out your question to remain anonymous, you can do so at secondadolescencepod.com/ask.Stay tuned for a new episode later this week, and keep posted for future episodes where I’ll get to spend time with all your lovely questions. It continues to be such a treat to get to do this, I’m so grateful you are here. 

This week we have two guests joining us, Meg O’Neill and returning guest to the pod, Gender Specialist therapist and educator Rebecca Minor (from episode 36!). They are the women behind bi+(in)visibility, a community and supportive space for folks who are discovering their biness and queerness later in life. In this conversation, we chat about their group, Meg’s own personal story of understanding her bi identity in her late thirties, and about the wide variety of experiences folks can have when uncovering and integrating their biness into their lives, including:the experience of bi folks, pan folks, and queer folks who are in straight presenting relationships, how compulsory heterosexuality can become so deeply engrained for folks and lead to many bi and pan folks to acknowledge their own queerness, the ways our culture seems more permissive and inclusive of women and femmes to be bi but not men, the experience of feeling “not queer enough,” navigating the privilege of straight passability and the need to not have our identities erased,and so much more!About the guests: Meg O'Neill (she/her) seems like the "typical" suburban PTO mom. Married to her husband, Matt, of 13 years. Mom of three kids. Business owner, avid reader and passionate about all things equity. Enter lots of time at home during COVID and TikTok and she soon realized she needed to be more vocal about the other side of her life that he kept quiet for years. Deep on a healing journey of realizing she was neurodivergent, and bisexual, she started sharing more about these topics and soon realized other people desired community around being bisexual in a heter-presenting relationship. Meg and Rebecca started a monthly online group called bi+(in)visibility where people can come together to explore the topic of bisexuality. You can learn more about the group and sign up here.Rebecca Minor, MSW, LICSW (she/her) is a neuroqueer femme, clinician, consultant, and educator specializing in the intersection of trauma, gender, and sexuality. As a Gender Specialist, Rebecca partners with trans and gender nonconforming youth through their journey of becoming, and is a guide to their parents in affirming it. Rebecca is part-time faculty at Boston University School of Social work and always works through a lens that is neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed, and resilience-oriented. In addition to her clinical work, Rebecca has provided cultural humility training and consultation to organizations, schools, and businesses for the past decade. You can follow her work on IG at @gender.specialist or visit www.genderspecialist.com.For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.Download episode transcript here. 

This week’s guest is Leah Goodman, OTD, OTR/L, MSW, CYT (she/they). Leah is a therapist and education manager at The Expansive Group, a collective of queer and trans affirming therapists, led by Casey Tanner (also known on instagram as @queersextherapy). At The Expansive Group, Leah runs a support group for LGBTQ+ folks who are coming into/discovering their identity in adulthood (essentially going through their Second Adolescence!). This is the reason why I wanted to talk with Leah!In this episode, we talk all things support groups and group therapy, and how these can be tools to support LGBTQ+ healing and liberation. Leah lets us in to really what goes on in a group, discusses the various obstacles/fears/stigmas that might keep people from pursuing joining a support group, why its particularly a fun and powerful space for LGBTQ+ folks, and so much more. This was such a tender conversation, I’m so grateful to Leah for joining us! About the guest:Dr. Leah Goodman (she/they) is a queer-identified therapist and educator based in Chicago, IL. She strives to build inclusive spaces full of warmth, humor, and affirmation, and finds joy in supporting folks as they navigate identity, relationships, sexuality, self-worth, and life transitions. Leah is a doctoral-level licensed occupational therapist and trained social worker with substantial educator experience in the fields of mental health, well-being and sex education. She has worked as a university professor, curriculum developer, and consultant, and is currently a therapist and the education manager at The Expansive Group. She is also a certified yoga instructor. For more about Leah, visit their website here. For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

This week’s guest is Nathan Serrato (they/he). Nathan is a PCC Certified Life Coach, Trauma Informed Yoga and Breathwork Instructor, and Queer Mindset Coach. Nathan helps queer folks overcome and heal from shame and religious trauma. In this conversation, Nathan and I chatted about so many aspects under the greater umbrella of queer healing, including: the various identities and roles our younger selves learned to take on to maintain value in response to internalized shame. the different ways internalized shame can show up in our unconscious patterns of behavior and ways of beinghow we have come to internalize beliefs about successhow healing is a combination of both intentional healing work and simply living our lives, the potential trickiness of over-identifying with our traumas.sobriety and substance use within the queer communityand more!I so loved getting time with Nathan, and am excited to invite you into the conversation. About the guest:Nathan helps queer leaders in visionaries overcome religious shame so they can live fully expressed lives. As a Trauma informed Yoga & Breathwork Instructor and PCC Certified Life Coach, Nathan Serrato takes a holistic approach to transformation by combining somatic techniques with identity shift coaching. Together these modalities provide a profound transformation to support people towards deeper intimacy, spiritual reclamation and living a purpose driven life. Visit www.queerconscious.com for more about Nathan.www.secondadolescencepod.com @secondadolescencepod (IG)Download episode transcript here. 

This week's guest is queer style coach, Tess Clabby (they/them), and wow - this was such a fun, playful, and meaningful episode. At its core, this episode with Tess is an invitation for all of us to get more attuned to our most true and free self. Tess talks with us about how fashion and style can be tools for us to intentionally explore and uncover who we are and heal from internalized anti-queerness and anti-transness. Tess shares with us about what it means to be a queer style coach, where to even begin when wanting to explore finding the style that feels most right for us,  common blocks that get in peoples' way of finding their style, how style can be an impactful way for us to connect with our Kid Self, and SO much more!About the guest:Tess Clabby (they/them) is a queer style coach and multimedia artist. Tess works with queer, trans, and nonbinary folks to help them heal their relationship with clothes and start expressing a more authentic and expansive version of themselves through personal style. They believe that our clothes should bring us joy and that everyone deserves to have a closet full of clothes that fit their body, their personality, and their gender expression. When they’re not transforming the world through queer fashion one client at a time, Tess is probably busy collaborating with their partner Dicapria on their next giant monster puppet. You can find Tess on instagram @topstitchbitch and you can learn more about their work at www.topstitchbitch.comFor more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepodDownload episode transcript here. 

This week's guest is writer Khalid El Khatib (he/him). I originally invited Khalid onto the show after a tweet of his was sent to me that so embodied the healing process in Second Adolescence, and I'm so glad I did. Some of you may know him and his story as the person who went viral with his mom for her 'home for the holiday' food plan. We do get a fun behind the scenes of this experience (appearance on the Today show included!) but also Khalid comes onto the show to share about his own personal journey of navigating identity, coming out, and the messy, growthful process of finding ourselves. I so loved getting to talk with Khalid and am excited to invite you all into the conversation.About the guest:Khalid is a New York-based writer and marketer. He works for a tech company and contributes as a freelancer to various outlets on topics such as art, food, and LGBTQ+ issues. He's also working on his first book. You can follow him on Twitter and Instagram @kmelkhat. For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.Download episode transcript here. 

On this week's episode we have artist and founder of The Queer Joy Project, Aimy Tien (she/they). The Queer Joy Project is a multimedia project that celebrates  queer stories: daily lived experiences, moments of happiness and serenity — each a form of resistance against today’s political climate. Through interviews with LGBTQIA+ subjects around the world and archival research, creator Tien reminds us not only of the world we are trying to build, but the community and happiness people find, even in the margins. About the guest:Aimy Tien (she/they) is an award-winning multidisciplinary artist based in Chicago. As an actor, writer, director, and producer, Aimy, a queer Vietnamese Chinese American, is driven by narrative plenitude, bringing the stories of people of color and marginalized groups to the page, stage, and screen. She is the founder of tinheart productions where they are developing multiple narrative projects centered on the intersections of race, healing, and sexuality. Outside of their film and stage work, Aimy facilitates conversations and workshops around the country on storytelling, queer advocacy, and equity, diversity, and inclusion. For more information about previous work and upcoming projects, you can visit their website AimyTien.com or follow them  @AimyTien.www.secondadolescencepod.comwww.instagram.com/secondadolescencepodDownload episode transcript here. 

Today's guest is Eli Lawliet, PhD (he/him), known by many as The Gender Doula.  This is the conversation to listen to for any of you who may be feeling some stress, anxiety, and fear in response to the continuously challenging political landscapes of our world. Anti-LGBTQ+ legislation is being proposed, passed, and upheld all throughout the world, and here in the United States we are anticipating a 2024 Presidential Election year. Eli grounds us all with such great invitations and advice for how to navigate these challenging times. In addition to offering great resourcing practices and invitations for the listener navigating political stress and fear, Eli also talks with us about such things as:transness and queerness as spiritual practicesthe power of being in relationship with our trans and queer ancestorswhat his work as a gender doula entails,and how we all need to heal our relationship with genderFor Eli's blog, visit here.For information Eli's Breathwork for QT Holiday Stress, visit here. For more about Eli, visit www.thegenderdoula.com and @thegenderdoula on IG.About the guest:Eli Lawliet, Ph.D., (he/him) is The Gender Doula - offering full-spectrum support to folks who are transitioning, questioning, or exploring their gender. He also uses his broad training to create workshops, classes, and resources to help gender expansive folks thrive. The scope of his work is broad, but the foundation is deeply rooted in transness as a spiritual practice. He lives in Los Angeles (Gabrieliño-Tongva land) with his partner, three cats, a dog, and four snakes.For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod on IGDownload episode transcript here. 

To start off Season 5, we have a solo episode with host, Adam James Cohen, LMFT. Today's topic is on the unique experience of shame that queer people who grew up in an anti-queer world know intimately. Adam talks about what Chronic Shame is, the impact this had on our younger selves (and still on our current adult selves), why he considers this an experience of complex trauma, and how we begin to heal.For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod on IG.Download episode transcript here. 

This week’s guest is Tony C. (he/him). I loved getting to chat with Tony and was touched by his intention for wanting to come on the show, which in his words was because it might "be helpful to some of the listeners to hear from someone who hasn’t totally gotten their life together and is still in the middle of growing up.” We talked about a shared love of queer YA content, and the power that engaging in these stories has on us, his experience growing up homeschooled and how this plus being gay led to a stunted experience of adolescence compared to his peers. I so appreciated Tony contribution of his story and his mental health journey to this show, and am excited to invite you into the conversation. About the guest:Tony C. (he/him) is a near lifelong resident of Southern California. He was homeschooled during middle and high school in a less than traditional household. At 34, he’s still trying to figure his life out. It’s been a bit of a bumpy road with mental health issues along the way. He's speaking out now because he hasn’t heard other people with this kind of background on a podcast. You can follow in on Instagram at @imagineartony.For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.Download episode here. 

This week’s guest is Aubri ('Data') Drake (they/them). They are a long-distance backpacker, hiker, and ultramarathon runner working to help those spaces become more inclusive. On this episode, Aubri shares with us about how their Second Adolescence took place on trail, thru-hiking the 2189 miles of the Appalachian Trail over 4 years, and how engaging in movement within nature became the container for a powerful process of finding integration between their body and deeper parts of self. I feel SO grateful to how Aubri is taking up space in the world and feel so grateful I got to be in conversation with them.About the guest:Aubri ('Data') Drake (they/them) is a white queer, ace spectrum, transgender, and genderqueer hiker, backpacker, ultrarunner, writer, researcher, and transgender activist in their mid-30s. They were raised poor and working class. They aim to be a trans and nonbinary ambassador and change-maker in long-distance backpacking, hiking, and ultramarathon running spaces.Aubri has thru-hiked the Appalachian Trail, Europe's Tour du Mont Blanc, Vermont's Long Trail, John Muir Trail x2, Tahoe Rim Trail, New England Trail, New Hampshire's Cohos Trail, and is 85% done with the Pacific Crest Trail. They’ve also completed the Northeast 111 4000 Footers, the New England 67 4000 Footers, the Adirondack 46 High Peaks, and the New England Hundred Highest, all in both summer and winter seasons. They’ve run ultramarathon distances from 50K up to 100 miles, and set 16 Fastest Known Times. They have logged more than 8,500 miles on their feet in the last three years, and their writing has been featured in Trail Runner Magazine, Long Trail News magazine, and Nonbinary, an anthology from Columbia University Press.They can frequently be found blogging about their adventures or sharing wilderness photos, cute cat pictures, and flying trapeze videos on Instagram.For more visit www.secondadolescencepod.com and @secondadolescencepod.Download episode transcript here.

This week’s guest is Chris Curia (he/they). I loved getting to chat with Chris for many reasons, first being that we connected over the profession of psychotherapy as he is currently a psychotherapist in training, but I also SO appreciated them coming onto to share their story because they are someone who began really discovering their queerness recently within the COVID-19 pandemic. Chris shares how the stories of his coming out and pursuing training to become a therapist are so intertwined, which was also similar to my own story. There are so many things I could say about this conversation but I’ll let it speak for itself - I’m so grateful to have had the time with Chris and am so happy to invite you all into it. About the guest:Chris Curia (he/they) is a pre-licensed mental health care provider finishing their training at a small psychoanalytic institution in Seattle, WA. Their therapeutic approach is person-centered, queer-informed, relationally-driven, and culturally sensitive. Keep up with their life and work on socials @chriscuringle.For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.Download episode transcript here.

This week's guest is writer Lamya H (she/they). Lamya is the author of the recent debut memoir, Hijab Butch Blues (The Dial Press, Penguin Random House). I cannot recommend this book enough, it was such beautiful and powerful book, and I was so excited to talk with Lamya all about it! On this episode, Lamya shares about the process of writing the memoir, both structurally how they decided to put it together and emotionally what it was like for them to tell the story of their younger selves. Lamya also shares about her resonance with the experience of Second Adolescence, and what this has looked like in their life. About the guest:Lamya H is a former Lambda Literary Fellow whose writing has appeared in Vice, Salon, Vox, Black Girl Dangerous, Autostraddle, and the Los Angeles Review of Books. They currently live in New York with their partner.You can order Hijab Butch Blues here, and follow Lamya on Twitter (@lamyaisangry) and IG (@lamyaisangry)For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod. Download episode transcript here. 

This week's guest is Rebecca Minor (she/her). Rebecca is a Gender Specialist therapist and educator who uses her platform to further the conversation, education, and support surrounding the experience of trans and gender nonconforming youth. In this conversation, we talk about her work as a Gender Specialist and also dive into her own experience of discovering and navigating the identities she holds and how this in turn supports the work she is doing in the world. As a therapist and a queer person, I SO loved getting to talk with Rebecca and am so grateful she wants to invite you all into the conversation, too. About the guest:Rebecca Minor, MSW, LICSW is a neuroqueer femme, clinician, consultant, and educator specializing in the intersection of trauma, gender, and sexuality. As a Gender Specialist, Rebecca partners with trans and gender nonconforming youth through their journey of becoming, and is a guide to their parents in affirming it. Rebecca is part-time faculty at Boston University School of Social work and always works through a lens that is neurodiversity-affirming, trauma-informed, and resilience-oriented. In addition to her clinical work, Rebecca has provided cultural humility training and consultation to organizations, schools, and businesses for the past decade. You can follow her work on IG at @gender.specialist or visit www.genderspecialist.com.Links mentioned in the episode:The Myth of Rapid Onset Gender Dysphoria blog post by RebeccaFor more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.Download episode transcript here. 

This week’s guest is Shlomo Satt (he/him) who works within the Jewish Non-Profit Sector and is based in New York City.  Shlomo shares with us about his experience growing up within Orthodox Judaism and what it was like to navigate a community with limiting beliefs around queerness and mental health. He shares about his experience being sent to Conversion Therapy and then recovering from that experience, and then later walks us through how psychotherapy and 12 step programs became helpful spaces for him to heal and grow in such an empowered way. He goes on to talk about shifting emphasis in his life from growing to finally fully living, and what this means for him, what else was entailed within his Second Adolescence experience, and how Community is such a big part of both his personal and professional lives. This was a super fascinating conversation and I feel so grateful to Shlomo inviting us all into his story. About the guest:Shlomo Satt (he, him) is 27 years old, a lifelong New Yorker, and works in the Jewish nonprofit sector. Currently, he works for itrek: an Israel-focused organization. Shlomo has significant experience with LGBTQ nonprofits and is an Advisory Member for Shtetl: a new haredi journalism initiative. In 2021, Shlomo graduated summa cum laude from Bellevue University with a Master's in Public Administration. Shlomo is an active member of the his local Jewish community and enjoys hosting game nights and Shabbat meals with his fiancé Mattan. His dog Jax likes getting involved too!For more visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.Download episode transcript here.

This week's guest is Lindz Amer (they/them). As some of you may know, they are the founder and creator of Queer Kid Stuff, an entertainment company that brings LGBTQ+ and social justice media to kids and families. They also currently host of the queer and gender affirming parenting podcast, Rainbow Parenting. Their book, Rainbow Parenting: Your Guide to Raising Queer Kids and Their Allies, publishes on May 30, 2023. I have been a personal fan of Lindz and their work for several years. They have done to support changing the landscape for queer youth and their parents, and so it was just so special to get to have them on to share about both their work and their own personal journey. Lindz was so generous with how much they let us into their own story and the not always easy behind the scenes of the work they are doing in the world. About the guest:Lindz Amer creates LGBTQ+ and intersectional social justice media for kids and families. They created their beloved LGBTQ+ family webseries Queer Kid Stuff in 2016 which now has 4M lifetime views and counting! You can pre-order their debut book Rainbow Parenting: Your Guide to Raising Queer Kid and Their Allies which publishes on May 30, 2023 with St. Martin's Press. Currently, they host the Rainbow Parenting podcast, perform at schools and libraries across the country, while also writing and consulting for children’s television. They worked with Nick Jr on the Webby award-winning Blues Clues & You “Pride Parade” music video, The Fabulous Show with Fay and Fluffy,  an upcoming episode of an extremely paw-pular show, and more! You can watch their TED Talk on why kids need to learn about gender and sexuality now with more than 2.5 million views! You can follow Lindz on IG at @lindzamer and support them on Patreon here.For more visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.

This week's guest is Chip Hall (he/him). Chip is a US Coast Guard Veteran and shares with us his experience of being a gay man in the Coast Guard while the anti-queer Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell legislation was in full effect. He was a leader in bringing internal change to the US Coast Guard and Coast Guard Academy with regards to queerness and queer visibility in the greater effort to repeal Don’t Ask Don’t Tell. Chip shares with us about all of this plus his own personal journey of discovering and navigating his identity as a gay man.  Chip is a real life friend of mine and so it was an extra treat getting to chat with him in such a focused way, and I am SO excited to invite you into this conversation.About the guest:Chip Hall (he/him) is a San Francisco based lawyer and US Coast Guard Veteran. For more, visit www.secondadolescencepod.com or @secondadolescencepod.Download episode transcript here.