The Hozone Lair

In this week's episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by the most guest ever recorded in the Hozone. Topics discussed range from an Alien invasion (atmosphere not border) to a donkey dicked boy named Ryan George. Listen to this episode so you will understand the upcoming pedo charges that the only female present will incur. Everyone involved had a grand old time even if it results in future therapy. Tune in and learn why middle age women should never have a youthful buffet at their finger tips. We appreciate everyone that listens. Everyone else, fuck you.

In this weeks(ish) episode, Hosey and Carrie are joined by a super fan! They have modified the recording process which allows for additional segments and the future possibilities are endless! Move over dick jokes, here come dick pics! Hosey has determined that most people do not listen to the full episodes let alone read this silly bullshit, so fuck off homans. Gibberish blah me fuck-stick, enjoy this previously recorded cuntent. Good day

In this week's episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by a guest that needs no introduction as well as a friend to set the record straight. Jesse informs everyone that he has never been depressed except for the times when he was and apparently cocks have dicks. Topics in this episode range from, well depression to chicken dicks pretty well sums it up. Join them while they make adult decisions whilst acting like children. Live, Laugh Love, and Losers.

Hello Homens, in the week's episode Carrie and Hosey are joined by 5 separate guests. To avoid the absolute chaos of 6 idiots and Hosey yelling over each other, the show is broken down into three segments. Listeners will get an inside look at the future Hosey's that will rule the world and Carries kids. Carrie gets bamboozled by beans and chokes down a shot that reminds her of the good old days. Sorry, we're late but good things take time and apparently bad things take even longer. Turn on, tune in, and drop out, life is too serious sometimes.

In this week's episode, Hosey talks, A LOT. Carrie shows us what a brain on drugs looks like and the hosts discuss important issues ranging from guardian angels to poop plugs. Carrie fantasizes about the 3rd man syndrome but once again, she is severely disappointed; luckily, she has become accustomed to it. Carrie also screams “oh God” at church for all the wrong reasons. Join them as they play some fun games and see if you can come up with some better answers. They discuss "wokeness" and display their superior intellect which proves they are superior to all the listeners. If they lose you during the 1st half just stay buckled in, the 2nd half is full of the smut you came here looking for.

In this week's episode, the hosts speak about their time away from the podcast and the quality time they had yelling profanities at their parents on airplanes. Hosey speaks to a vernina, or varina maybe vageria, (why do people name their kids after words they found in the urban dictionary) and she denies aunt Bernice a table at their fine establishment. Be forewarned that Carrie wrote the outline for this episode, all the suckiness that follows is directly her fault. If you lose interest within the 1st 5 min just keep it playing and turn your volume down, we need the views damn it! We would also like to welcome our new listener, we love you all, each and every one of you two.  Tune in and laugh at Carrie, she somehow thinks people are laughing WITH her. 

In this week's episode, the hosts have a guest that deserves a Netflix documentary made after them, or perhaps an episode of Snapped.  Hosey does his best to reign in the chaos but Carrie makes more messes and doesn't clean them up.  The episode ranges from a therapy session to confessions of felonies (allegedly), This one is hard to describe so you might as well as tune in and make sense of it yourself, if you laugh you're going to hell; we'll save you a seat.  (PS, everyone in this episode is presumed innocent until proven otherwise). Allegedly

In this week's episode, Carrie decided to do drugs,  and she shows it. " Crack is wack" - Whitney Houston. PS our guest is a criminal who will remain unnamed.

In this week's episode, the Hozone is breached by an old friend of the hosts. Carrie does her best to be canceled and Hosey is a big-nosed bitch. The guest and hosts go on to show that they are not as young as they think. The blood gets flowing as they express their utter excitement over bargain stores and quality vacuums. Hosey explains how to slay some pussy cats and an honorable mention is commemorated by a dick-shaped tombstone. This episode covers topics from the existence of God to regurgitation and re-consumption of an unholy mess. Tune in, drop out and enjoy the demise of civilization in this Halloween special. Thank you to everyone that takes the time to listen, you are all a bunch of idiots, and your parents would be disappointed.   

In this (bi) weekly episode (no offense Carrie) the host are joined by some longtime friends. We decided to not video this episode because one of our guests apparently aspires of going places. Not sure what she is doing hanging out with us degenerates, but we were lucky enough to snag her. We are blessed with another Dan story and Hosey speaks about his 15 min of fame on MTV's True Life: "I'm an embarrassing piece of shit"; Matt doesn't hesitate to make sure that every beautiful detail is included. Carrie embraces the fact that she has daddy issues and Chelly reminisces about the dong that set her free, but placed the guy in prison. There may have been some tech problems along the way but, well this is the fucking Hozone so what else do you expect. Tune in and laugh at the pure douchebaggery that ensues. Thanks for listening in Homens, we truly appreciate it.

In this week's episode, the hosts take a few trips down memory lane and hit a dead end. Hosey brings some emotion to the episode and Carrie demonstrates her sensitivity. There is a basic bitch white girl shot and we hear a story about one man's descent into the unknown, by unknown we mean a finger in the butt. Carrie's father whispers sweet nothings into her ear and shows off his unmentionables to minors. Join in on the fun and let go of your problems. Decent into the Hozone Lair and laugh along with us. PS, the next episode will be one for the ages. 

In this week's episode, Carrie and Hosey are joined by the final Ballard brother and Carrie sees a little Sr in the making. They name a drink that should not be named and discuss the corruption of the future generation. Lucas talks about buttholes and Hosey informs Carrie that planets exist. While this may not be the funniest episode, it is one of the deepest. With that being said, we want to offer our deepest condolences for not bringing you the regular smut that you freaks tune in for. Rest easy Homens, it was an exception and not the new rule. Listen in you idiots, we need you too so we can build our own self-worth.

Hello homens, did you miss us? Well f-u you, we didn't miss you either. If you did happen to miss us, don't fret your little heart, this episode will definitely make you wonder why you ever did. We decided to try a little different format and it was super organized, as you are about to hear. Carrie and Hosey share a bit about their break from the podcast and the adventures that they went on during their time away. Carrie gets a rose that has a funny smell and an intruder invades the Hozone at the end of the show. Join us and build your self-esteem you idiots, we need the money.

In this week's episode Carrie was too busy hoeing around to even make an appearance. Luckily, Hosey was joined by a few guests so the show could go on! While there was an outline for this episode, it quickly runs off the rails and goes way over the allotted time. Due to this unforeseen, unfortunate success, we had to break it into two parts. In the 1st part, Dave informs us repetedly that he isn't gay and then proceeds to contradict himself for half the show. He tells a wonderful story about Jesse getting Jessied while entering a Jessied state himself and a mystery guest brings his hammer to the table. Although Dave isn't gay, did we mention that already? He has become a connoisseur of sorts, tune in to find out what that sort is.  "You forget titties, you forget vaginas, you never forget a dick" - The bible or something. If you are feeling down lately, tune in and listen to us inadvertently boost your self-confidence. Thanks, idiots

In this episode, Carrie and Hosey fly solo again but are surprised by two call-in guests. Carrie is informed by her family that they love her slutty ways and Hosey cuts it. The hosts play pick your poison and both end up dead. Hosey's dad plays a reverse UNO card that does not end well. The show is closed out by Carrie's peaks and words of affirmation between the hosts. We will be taking this week off to enjoy family and the holiday weekend. We will return next week with a guest, hopefully, they will be Jessied. Tune in and cringe at us you idiots, because the cringe is thick. 

In today's episode, Carrie and Hosey take a break from guests due to scheduling conflicts and Carrie being a mean, scary old bitch. The hosts play a game of pick your poison and Carrie admits to a crush that is forbidden outside of the bible belt. They read about some embarrassing moments and give a big shout-out to Their number one Fan. This episode is brought to you, in part, by my AA. 

Hello folks, If this episode sounds like a chopped and screwed Paul Wall album we apologize. We were having some technical difficulties that were resolved in the 2nd half of the show. Unfortunately, It took two hours to find a resolution so our technical difficulties turned into drunkical difficulties. Lessons were learned from this episode, both about technology and sobriety. Carrie and Hosey were Joined by Mike and Ken and it was determined that we need to have a bouncer present from here on out to protect the guest from Carrie. Don't let her transgressions scare you from coming on.  We had a good time recording this episode, maybe a little too much fun. We will have our shit together next week, well, at least Hosey will. 

The title of this episode says it all. Obviously, it is not the infallible Hosey who is apologizing, no no no! It is of course the jesters that surround him, or in this case, chose not to. While the three stooges stand Carrie and Hosey up, the hosts are still here to bring you your weekly dose of whatever the fuck it is that you're about to listen to. Fret not, Carrie is here to ask for your forgiveness for last week's antics, even though she doesn't really remember committing them. Unfortunately, This week's episode was based on the three buffoons that were supposed to be here but decided Jessing out was more important. Due to their short notice, this episode goes off the rails a few times. Luckily, that's just what you sick puppies like to see. Laugh at us you idiots, we've already been laughing at you.   

Yeah, this episode is being published late. Not because it was recorded late, not because some big life changing experience came into my life. This episode is late simply because I am a worthless piece of shit and forgot to post it. With that being said, I want to apologize further for being a drunk asshole during the episode. Ok, I think I made myself sound good enough by this point. This episode will make you feel better about yourself. Laugh at us you idiots, you don't really deserve it but we do.

Here we are, episode 11, and absolutely no dignity left. Well, why stop now? In this week's episode, Carrie realizes that she was Me Too'd mid-sentence, does anyone know that the statute of limitations is in Wyoming? She also speaks about her serial killer tendencies as well as her path to redemption. Hosey's back with another pet peeve and an onslaught of self-deprecation. The lesson this week is that sometimes there isn't water hot enough to rinse off all the shame. Tune in and laugh at us you idiots, you deserve it.