The Horrorists

Kevin and Walter get to cleaning as they talk about the Argentine film When Evil Lurks. Kevin fears possession and Walter is a parent, so this one wreaks havoc. The movie may shock and scare, but is it worth your time? Kevin’s goat rankings certainly are. Walter is too snooty to discuss Spy x Family Code: White, but makes some time for Suitable Flesh. Plus, the first ever reader mail gets nowhere near the attention it deserves.

Kevin and Walter get dragged out of bed to discuss the low budget sensation of 2007, Paranormal Activity. This movie spooked the boys when it first came out but does it still have teeth today? Is Micah the worst because he is a day trader, or does it run deeper than that? Does the demon just want to see them toes? After the hosts roast an ancient demon and discuss which member of the friend group they would sacrifice, Kevin talks about some recent movies including his thoughts on Dune: Part 2. Walter had fun with X-Men ‘97 and thinks it’s important that everyone knows Cyclops has always been cool, actually.

Kevin and Walter take a break from their road trip murder spree to review Where the Devil Roams. Do the boys appreciate independent filmmaking enough to overlook some flaws? Which one of the hosts do you think is a My Chemical Romance fan? But which one loves Ladyhawke? After all of that horror nonsense is out of the way, Love is Blind gets its due with piping hot takes. Then, watch out for some spoiler talk for Dune: Part 2 and the book series on which it is based. Plus, Kevin talks about Neuromancer while Walter remembers how William Gibson has wronged him in the past.

Kevin and Walter get refracted with special guest Schuyler to discuss the 2018 kind of Netflix film Annihilation. After a brief tour through the director’s career, the boys discuss the highs and lows of this sci-fi thriller. Which monster is the scariest? What does the ending mean? And can you still nitpick no one wearing gloves while accepting the premise of the movie? Then, Kevin solves True Detective and pneumonia provides Walter with the perfect conditions to watch Killers of the Flower Moon. Your hosts discuss books and the best way to read them and the disappointment of picking up stories you skipped in your childhood.

Kevin and Walter crawl out of their rotten walls to discuss 2020’s Relic. This somber movie is a meditation on the inevitability of aging and the burden placed on three generations of women. But first the boys talk a lot about masturbation. Plus, the horrors of home ownership, Kevin is a Wonka boy, and the great debate of Hamilton vs. Baby Shark. Your hosts have been busy without much time to watch anything else, but there is some spoiler free talk of The Boy and the Heron and Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving.

How strong can Chucky be, really? Kevin and Walter get to the bottom of it while watching 1988’s Child’s Play. The boys have a lot of critiques for the killer doll’s methods and wonder if he can strangle with those stubby little fingers. Plus, how far will their integrity last when those ad dollars start rolling in? Walter watched Oppenheimer and The Killer and Kevin revisited Ghost in the Shell. Then, book club is back in session as Cormac McCarthy’s Blood Meridian gets assessed and your hosts reminisce about the books they liked in high school.

This episode was recorded in 2015 before either of us had any audio equipment, or how to edit. I did what I could to improve the audio, but this is about the limit of how much I can polish this one up. Hope you enjoy this from the vault episode and we will be back next week with our episode covering Relic!

The boys are back for the spookiest day of the year to chat away about Speak No Evil. Find out just how much guff your hosts are willing to take and the best ways to lie to your kid for everyone’s safety. Kevin’s hatred of the Dutch runs deep, Walter tests the bounds of human experience, and they both reminisce about the shady houses they’ve lived in. There is some rapid fire discussion of what’s been watched this season, including talk of recent releases The Exorcist: Believer  and Brooklyn 45. Plus, is The Purge any good? Listen and find out, but no.

Kevin and Walter wonder if anyone still needs to be told to watch A Nightmare on Elm Street. Does this franchise spawning classic still hold up or are some outdated effects going to pull the hosts out of dreamland? The innate thermostat sense of dads, Freddy Krueger’s nipple, and men who wear too many rings are all the hot topics that get covered this week. Then, don’t worry, the new season of Love is Blind gets its due. Walter makes up for lost time with a bevy of horror movie recommendations including recents streamers No One Will Save You and Totally Killer. Kevin does a David Fincher double feature and tops it off with a skit. Have you been drinking?

Walter bounces back from Covid to talk to Kevin about Talk to Me. This questionably recent horror sensation gets the boys discussing bad decisions that they buy into, the worst kind of theater goers, and whether heroin is worth it (No, the answer is no). Let us know if Kevin does a good Australian accent. And yes, Kevin does nail the Australian accent. It’s the spookiest time of the year and Kevin is drowning in cinema choices while Walter struggles to find the right horror movie to show his small children. Some chat about The Nun II and It Lives Inside ensues.

Follow your hosts into the woods as they break into 2007’s Hansel & Gretel and decide if it should be cast into the oven. The boys discuss the proper way to deal with roadkill, the coolest coyotes, and the most humane and awesome way to euthanize a chicken. It’s not all dead animal talk though, as Walter reveals his distaste for an American dinner time staple and Kevin balks at the prospect of sweets for breakfast.  Some more chatter about Barbie follows, now that Walter has seen it and then the boys start to gear up for the spookiest time of the year.

The boys try to figure out what blood is for if not for shedding with 1992’s Candyman. Does this movie hold up thirty years after it came out and how does Candyman work, exactly? Walter questions Candyman’s child rearing, Kevin has no trouble believing that Walter’s wife could be a murderer, and it is obvious that Ted Raimi is not a handsome teen. Walter watched TMNT: Mutant Mayhem and Kevin wonders if he should ditch his computer. Then, Walter tests the bonds of their friendship with his next pick…

Is 2001’s Hannibal a satisfying feast or can the boys not stomach this ten years later sequel? Kevin and Walter have a lot of thoughts, but first they have to break down Ridley Scott’s career and Harriet Tubman’s vitamin side business. The resurgence of tapes, the history of poppers, and Hannibal’s foot fetish all get covered. Years of customer service will keep the hosts alive this time. Kevin winces at the Sound of Freedom and delivers his thoughts on the new Indiana Jones movie, all while fundamentally misunderstanding what Walter’s life is like these days.

Your hosts throw around more than ideas as they discuss 1991’s The Silence of the Lambs. Has the movie been surpassed by imitators in the 30+ years since its release? Find out what scene terrifies Walter and how Kevin would overcome it, which killer is more quotable, and the red flags to look out for in therapy. Then the boys talk about 2022’s Vengeance and the state of modern music. Plus, hear the story that improbably led to Kevin and Walter almost being brothers-in-law.

Kevin and Walter overcome obstacles to return and discuss the 1988 animated film Demon City Shinjuku. Kevin fears that Walter’s historic distaste for anime will drag the whole thing down, but they share some common ground while discussing incredible lighting, character design, and animation. Will some tired tropes ruin their experience? Plus, some wild digressions about action movies and the evolving physiques of pro wrestlers lead the boys to dredge up an old argument. Then, Walter watched a bunch of movies with some spoiler light talk of John Wick: Chapter 4. Kevin can’t remember why he chose some particular media and delves into some stories about claustrophobia. Walter still feels bad about picking Willy’s Wonderland.

Kevin here, I'm sick with Covid, Walter is traveling, and I didn't want to have noting uploaded this week so I dug around and found an old episode I enjoyed. This episode was originally recorded in 2015 and we had to share 1 mic between the two of us. Sorry for the scuffed audio. The boys cover the 1981 horror comedy classic American Werewolf in London. In this episode you'll find out their *shocking* views on circumcision, get asked important questions about porno theaters, and learn some rizz. Enjoy this classic episode from 2015!

Get ready to squirm as Kevin and Walter discuss this year’s Evil Dead Rise. The boys stay oddly on topic today as they discuss whether this movie lives up to the cult legacy of its predecessors. Walter is ready to give up and Kevin loves his mom, but wouldn’t hesitate to put her down. The pick for the best character might surprise you, but the pick for the worst probably won’t. Kevin chats a little bit about The Covenant and the boys talk about some books that they have been reading. Then Kevin smashes Walter’s hopes and dreams with his next pick…

The latest chapter of the Scream series gets cut up by the boys this week. Find out if there are enough tweaks to the formula for this one to stand on its own two feet. Walter is proud of himself for making some predictions, Kevin finds out that these movies aren’t that niche, and both of them fall in love with a character. Some even more recent releases get discussed, including Renfield, Sisu, and Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 3.

The boys revisit the Cronenberg house with this year’s Infinity Pool. There’s lots of heady discussion on clones, doubles, and doppelgangers and the logistics of making love to yourself. Kevin has better uses for the movie’s technology, Walter wants to protect his neck, and both of them could use a vacation. The hosts are pretty confident they could survive this one, unless a certain character offers them up some sausages. Not much new horror talk, but there is some chatter about South Korea’s classic Vengeance trilogy and about just how rad Bloodsport is.

On this week’s episode, David Cronenberg’s latest with 2022’s Crimes of the Future. The boys are pretty sure they enjoyed this movie and are positive that they hate Funko Pops. While discussing this grimy, gory film, the boys touch on changing attitudes in horror, analyze a certain famous pundit to death, and theorize what Christmas looks like in the Cronenberg home. Kevin gives his impressions of The Pope’s Exorcist and then it’s what you all came for: thoughts on the Love is Blind finale.