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The Pooch

Author: Lorena van der Wiel Baez

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Let's be friends! On this podcast we will take the pressure offff and be ourselves while still loving life as a mum! Do you drink wine in a keep cup? Yep? Cool. Thats my type of mothers group.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

65 Episodes
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If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything right as a mum and still somehow failing, this episode is for you.Today we’re talking about how the patriarchy sets mums up to fail, from the invisible mental load to impossible expectations and the constant pressure to be everything to everyone. Because the truth is, it’s not that mums aren’t coping, it’s that the system was never built to support us in the first place.In this honest and relatable chat, I unpack why modern motherhood feels so overwhelming, the pressure to be a “perfect mum” while also working and managing a home, the mental load mums carry every single day, and why mum guilt is so common and not actually your fault. We also dive into how society benefits from unpaid motherhood labour and why so many mums feel like they’re falling short.If you’ve ever thought “why is this so hard?” or “why can’t I keep up?” you are not alone, and more importantly, you are not the problem.This is a real and unfiltered conversation about motherhood, identity, pressure, and the expectations placed on women today.Whether you're a stay at home mum, a working mum, or somewhere in between, this episode will make you feel seen. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Welcome to your Friday night dinner with the girls. The one with kids and all. Its easy, we are not here for elaborate. We are here for a good glass of wine, some easy food, all hands in. Ill hold the baby while you dress the salad. Ill chop up toddler snacks while you order the pizza. This is our time. Let's talk, let's cry, let's change it all. On this episode we talk about why we grieve our pre-baby selves and how creativity can help us find out selves again. Becoming a mum changes everything but what happens when you start feeling like you’ve lost yourself in motherhood?In this episode of The Pooch Podcast I’m talking honestly about something many mums feel but rarely say out loud. The quiet grief of your pre baby life and the identity shift that comes with becoming a mother.So many women say “I lost myself after having kids.” But is that really what happens?In this conversation we unpack the deeper truth behind the motherhood identity crisis. Why so many mums feel disconnected from who they used to be, why we grieve parts of our old life and how we can start finding ourselves again after kids.Because maybe we didn’t actually lose ourselves.Maybe we just lost the space to keep becoming who we were becoming.In this episode we talk aboutWhy mums often feel like they’ve lost their identity after kids The parts of our pre baby life we secretly grieve Why motherhood can make you feel unfamiliar to yourself The identity shift no one prepares you for What actually makes us feel like ourselves again Why creativity, autonomy and expression matter so much for mums How to start rebuilding your sense of self after childrenIf you’ve ever thought“I love being a mum but I miss who I used to be”This episode is for you.Motherhood changes us but it doesn’t mean the woman you were before is gone. She might just be evolving into something new.New episodes of The Pooch Podcast every week.If this conversation resonated with you don’t forget to subscribe, like and share with another mum who might need to hear this. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Feeling disconnected in mothers groups does not mean something is wrong with you.In this episode, I explore the tension between believing in the importance of the village and struggling to feel at home in traditional mothers groups and mums and bubs classes.We unpackIdentity loss and identity shifts in early motherhoodPostpartum loneliness and modern mum lifeWhy proximity does not always create real connectionHow nervous system safety impacts social experiencesThe difference between structured support and organic communityCreating a village that supports the whole woman, not just the motherFor many women, mothers groups are essential and deeply supportive. For others, they can feel overwhelming, performative, or limiting. Both experiences are valid.If you are navigating postpartum, craving deeper mum friendships, questioning where you belong, or redefining what support looks like in modern motherhood, this episode is for you.You are allowed to want meaningful connection.You are allowed to protect your identity.You are allowed to build a village that reflects who you truly are. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
We cannot self care our way out of a broken system… but we also cannot afford not to.In this episode, I unpack the viral idea that encouraging mums to practice self care is just a bandaid solution to motherhood in the patriarchy. I explore why burnout is not a personal failure, why so many women feel they lose their identity after becoming mothers, and how societal conditioning keeps mums stuck at the very bottom of their own hierarchy of needs.I share my honest thoughts on: – Why self care can feel like just another expectation – How productivity culture has hijacked the concept of self love – Why asking permission to meet your needs keeps you in survival mode – The power of stopping asking – The importance of intentionally dropping the ball – Why mums must come first in their own householdsThis is not about bubble baths. This is about autonomy. This is about reclaiming your nervous system, your identity, and your worth.If you have ever felt burnt out, invisible, resentful, or like you are shrinking inside motherhood, this episode is for you.You deserve to be number one. Not in a cute way. In a fundamental, biological, human needs way.Let the laundry sit. Go fill your cup. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Why am I scared to have another baby?In this deeply personal episode, I share the fears I have around growing our family and why the decision feels heavier than I expected. From postpartum body image struggles and identity loss to mental health concerns, sleep deprivation, and the emotional toll of motherhood, I unpack what is really sitting underneath the surface.Three years after my last baby, I am still navigating the changes motherhood brought to my body, my mind, and my sense of self. The thought of going back to newborn life brings up fear, guilt, grief, and confusion. I know I am not the only mum who feels this tension between wanting another baby and wanting to protect the version of herself she has fought hard to rebuild.If you are wrestling with the decision to have another child, feeling overwhelmed by mum life, or questioning how much more you can give without losing yourself again, this episode will remind you that your fears are valid and you are not alone. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Why do so many new mums feel like they’ve lost themselves after having a baby? In this episode, we’re talking openly about identity loss in motherhood, postpartum identity loss, and why so many women experience a deep motherhood identity crisis after becoming a mum.For many women, becoming a mother brings an unexpected loss of self after baby. You might find yourself asking, who am I after becoming a mum? or wondering why you feel disconnected, invisible, or lost in this season. This episode explores why new mum identity shifts so dramatically, and why losing yourself after having a baby is not a personal failure, but a normal part of matrescence.We talk about how identity change after becoming a mother is closely linked to the loss of time, autonomy, and social connection. When women feel invisible as a mum, experience loneliness in motherhood, or struggle with the mental load and invisible labour of mothers, their sense of self can quietly erode. This is why so many women describe motherhood and sense of self as one of the hardest postpartum emotional changes.In this conversation, we unpack:Why new mums feel lostWhy motherhood can trigger an identity crisisHow postpartum emotional changes affect confidence and self worthThe connection between motherhood mental health, burnout, and identityWhy becoming a mum creates an identity shift, not a failureHow to begin reclaiming identity after baby without guiltIf you’re an overwhelmed new mum, feeling lonely in motherhood, navigating motherhood burnout, or trying to understand why you no longer recognise yourself, this episode is for you. This is an honest motherhood conversation about becoming a mum without losing yourself, and about finding yourself in motherhood again in a way that feels realistic and compassionate.This episode is especially for women searching for support around postpartum identity loss, motherhood mental health, and the emotional reality of early motherhood. It’s part of a broader conversation about real mum life, honest motherhood, and creating space for women to feel seen during one of the biggest identity shifts of their lives.Topics include identity loss in motherhood, postpartum identity loss, motherhood identity crisis, new mum identity, matrescence, loss of self after baby, motherhood burnout, invisible labour of mothers, mental load of motherhood, motherhood and sense of self, reclaiming identity after baby, finding yourself in motherhood, and navigating motherhood without losing yourself.You are not broken.You are becoming. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Postpartum is not just about caring for a newborn. It is about caring for the woman who has just been reborn too. In this episode, I talk honestly about what postpartum women actually need from the people around them, and why good intentions are not always the same as real support.I share why postpartum support should focus less on advice and more on practical help, emotional safety, and being truly seen. From feeding the mum and protecting her rest, to believing her experience and easing her mental load, this episode is for partners, friends, family members, and anyone who wants to show up better during the fourth trimester.This episode is also a reminder that postpartum recovery does not end at six weeks. It is a season of becoming physically, emotionally, and in identity. How a woman is supported during this time can shape her wellbeing for years to come. If you are a new mum feeling unseen, or someone wanting to support a postpartum woman without getting it wrong, this episode is for you.In this episode I cover: What postpartum women really need from friends and familyWhy “let me know if you need anything” often is not helpfulHow to support a new mum without giving unsolicited adviceThe importance of practical help during the fourth trimesterWhy postpartum recovery is longer than six weeksHow partners, family, and friends can reduce the mental loadSupporting maternal mental health with care instead of comparisonWho this episode is for? New mums in the postpartum periodPartners supporting a postpartum womanFriends and family visiting after birthAnyone wanting to understand the fourth trimesterPeople building a supportive village around new motherspostpartum support, fourth trimester, postpartum recovery, supporting new mums, postpartum mental health, life after birth, new mum support, motherhood podcast, real motherhood, maternal wellbeing, postpartum care, village support, motherhood without filtersIf this episode resonated, please share it with someone who is supporting a postpartum woman. And if you are in this season yourself, you are not weak, behind, or failing. You are becoming. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, I dive into highlight culture on social media and how it affects mums, women, and modern motherhood. From the early days of Facebook and Instagram to influencer culture and algorithm-driven perfection, I explore where highlight culture started, why it became so powerful, and how it shapes the way mums see themselves online.I unpack the emotional impact of constantly comparing our real, messy motherhood to curated highlight reels, and why scrolling perfect homes, happy families, and “doing-it-all” mums can quietly lead to mum guilt, comparison, burnout, and self-doubt. This episode breaks down the truth behind social media perfection and reminds you that what you see online is never the full story.Most importantly, this conversation offers practical mindset shifts to help mums protect their mental health while using social media, including learning to treat highlight reels as inspiration, not instruction, and letting go of the pressure to live up to unrealistic standards of motherhood.If you’ve ever felt like you’re failing as a mum because your life doesn’t look good on Instagram, this episode is your reminder that real motherhood isn’t aesthetic. It’s honest, imperfect, and deeply valuable. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
What does it really mean to put your life vest on first as a woman and why does it feel so uncomfortable to do?In this episode, we go beyond the overused self-care clichés and unpack the deeper truth: women are conditioned to self-abandon in the name of harmony, care, and love. Long before motherhood, many women are taught to absorb emotional labour, smooth things over, and prioritise everyone else, often at the cost of their own intuition, autonomy, and identity.We explore:Why women are socialised to be the emotional shock absorbersHow chronic depletion disconnects women from their intuitionWhy exhaustion quietly limits choice and keeps women stuckWhat it actually means to put your life vest on first, without guiltThis conversation isn’t about bubble baths or productivity.It’s about self-trust, agency, and refusing to disappear.If you’ve ever felt burned out, lost, resentful, or unsure of what you even want anymore — this episode will put language to something you’ve felt but maybe couldn’t explain.✨ Putting your life vest on first isn’t selfish. It’s how women stay connected to themselves. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode I talk about the 3 things mums get judged for! Mums are judged for parenting choices, do I breastfeed? Do I formula feed? Do I go back to work as soon as I have a baby? Can I afford time off work to spend with my baby? Do we do carrier naps? Are dummies ok? All the this we have to consider with great difficulty. Mums are judged for thier lifestyle choices? Career? SAHM? Spend too much? spend too little? Dress nice? How can I dress nice as a mum? How can I take some time for myself as a mum? What is the home like? how to the children behave? What school are they going to? how many extra curricular activities is enough? how many is too many ..... GASP There are more people in this world who will always have something to say!!! they just dont know how to stay in thier lane! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, we unpack what people really mean when they say “it takes a village” and why so many mums today feel like they’re parenting without one.A village isn’t just extra hands or babysitters. It’s a way of living and raising children that centres shared responsibility, collective wisdom, emotional support, and belonging. Today, mums are often expected to do it all: recover physically, regulate emotionally, parent intentionally, contribute financially, and somehow still feel grateful... largely on their own. This isolation isn’t a personal failure; it’s a structural one.This episode dives into:Why village-style wisdom exists (and why it’s often missing now)How knowledge used to be shared through lived experience, not perfectionWhy collective support benefits everyone, not just mumsMost importantly, we talk about how we can rebuild elements of the village in modern life by intentionally creating connection, shared care, and honest conversation now.Because mums don’t need to be stronger.This episode is a reminder that motherhood was never meant to be done alone...and that craving a village doesn’t mean you’re failing. It means you’re human. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode, I open up about why I created this podcast in the first place: to be what I desperately needed as a new mum. I wanted a space where the messy, uncomfortable, overwhelming parts of motherhood were spoken about honestly, so that any mum feeling lost, chaotic, or “not enough” would know it’s not her, it’s the season she’s in.I talk about the damage of highlight-reel culture, especially in postpartum. Seeing influencers bounce back with abs at six weeks made me believe I should be able to do the same, without understanding the reality of having a baby in my arms 24/7, a mind in turmoil, a house in chaos, and zero capacity for self-care.So is relatable mum content the answer? Or are we creating new and lower standards for women? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode we go there! I break down why we compare who has it harder and we take a deeper dive into who really has it harder, stay at home mums, working mums or the WFH mum! I wonder who will end up winning this comp! Why do we feel the need to compare? Why do we want to show who is struggling more? is it to show who really has it harder? Or is it to satisfy our own need for validation. Was it really that hard for us? Or were we the ones who just couldn't cope as well as others? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode of The Pooch, I talk about the deep seeded beliefs that most women share that end up causing us so much guilt. I also talk about where these beliefs come from. We just need a little re-wiring and I think our guilt will be about the 10th of what we experience daily. It is easier said that done but when you truly understand that being calm all the time is just not humanly possible, that the ideal mother has nothing to do with doing it all, with no help and with no suffering or that taking care of your self and your needs is not selfish.. actually it is the most important thing... When we truly accept this information- I really believe women can have a better time in motherhood. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this story-time episode of The Pooch, I share my journey to becoming a mum... twice. Inspired by becoming a “cunty” (cousin-aunty) to twin nephews and by watching my cousin step into motherhood with such strength I thought I would ask the big question: How did you know you wanted to have a baby? Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In today’s episode, I’m diving into one of the biggest pressures mums face... the pressure to be perfect.We’re constantly surrounded by messages, comparisons and highlight reels showing what “perfect motherhood” looks like. But who actually decides what perfect means?In this episode, I unpack where our ideas of the “perfect mum” come from... our own upbringings, social media, and the invisible standards we hold ourselves to. I’ll share why those expectations are often impossible (and unfair), and how to redefine what perfect truly means for you.By the end of this episode, you’ll see that being the perfect mum isn’t about doing everything right, it’s about doing the best you can with what you have. And that, by definition, is perfect. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode of The Pooch, we dive into the fourth trimester- the often forgotten but oh-so-important first 12 weeks after birth. ✨We’ll talk about what the fourth trimester really is, why your recovery matters just as much as your baby’s, and why it’s completely normal to feel emotions you never expected. You’ll also hear how, in these early months, you’re learning just as much as your baby is, because motherhood is a journey of growth for both of you.This isn’t about perfect houses, bouncing back, or highlight reels of unreachable standards. This is about giving you a real sense of mum life — raw, messy, beautiful, and human.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
In this episode of The Pooch, we’re diving into the 6 unique struggles of Millennial mums! Now, before you roll your eyes or think this is a “back in my day” debate — it’s not a pity party, a dig at other generations, or a struggle competition. We know we’ve got baby wipes, washing machines, and nappies on our side (thank goodness!) — but being a Millennial mum still comes with its own set of challenges.I’d love to hear your take too! Slide into my DMs on Instagram at @thepoochpodcast and let’s make this a conversation. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Why do we get things done quicker when we are alone? Why are we put in a situation where it is easier to take on the full load and know it will get done properly and on time rather than share it with someone else? Because we end up having to do the bulk of it anyway and in a way that is less efficient! On this episode I talk about the reasons mums find it sooooo much easier to get things done alone BUT why this is a long term problem. What can we do about it?? welllll I try to offer a solution but let's see if you find it helpful. This is a podcast about not feeling alone and understanding that what you are going through as a mum or a new mum.. is very normal. I am certainly no expert in relationships or parenting so any suggestions I give are things that either I have tried myself or that I have searched for an answer for from those who know best! I hope you find this episode helpful and are being kind to your pooch! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
For a new mum, accepting help ... or even worse.. ASKING for help feels impossible! Our guilt, sense of failure and feeling like we have lost independence alllll get in the way of us getting the help we need. Getting help is HUMAN! On this episode I talk about all the reasons we find it hard to ask for help and give you some solid mind shifts to help you understand why you MUST and I give you some very simple pointers on how to go ahead and just ask! We were not designed to do it alone! Getting help build us up and makes us stronger! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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