On Attachment

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts on how to navigate a partner pulling away. If you're someone with anxious attachment patterns, a partner's withdrawal or disengagement can feel extremely distressing - and yet, many of our go-to strategies for managing that distress can ironically have the effect of pushing someone further away. We'll cover:what to do when someone pulls away in an early dating contextwhy we feel drawn to pursuing connections with people who are inconsistent how to navigate a partner repeatedly leaving and coming backwhat to do when a long-term partner is emotionally withdrawn or distantFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about self-soothing and anxious attachment. For most anxiously attached folks, self-soothing and self-regulation can be a real struggle. This typically shows up as an over-reliance on others (often a partner) to be our sole source of safety and reassurance when we experience emotional distress, and an accompanying sense of helplessness and panic if and when they are not available to perform that role. We'll cover:why anxiously attached people struggle to self-regulatehow an inability to self-soothe impacts our relationshipsmindset shifts and practices to start building your self-soothing toolkit⭐️ Last chance to sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment ⭐️ Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

This episode is part two of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style.  I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns.⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

Today's episode is part one of a two-part series on 20 Traits of the Anxious Attachment Style.  I'm going to be running through some of the less obvious expressions of the anxious attachment style, as well as the underlying drivers of these patterns. ⭐️ JOIN THE WAITLIST FOR HEALING ANXIOUS ATTACHMENT ⭐️Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by James "Fish" Gill to talk all things conflict and conscious communication. Fish is a coach, teacher and facilitator whose work offers a compassionate paradigm for relating to and transforming moments of conflict in all of our relationships. We cover:why we so easily end up in conflict and opposition with people we lovehow we unconsciously escalate conflict using compassion and curiosity to understand someone else's perspectiveholding both positive intention and unintended impact as truereframing defensiveness, withdrawal and other assumed ill-intent......and so much more!Learn more about Fish's work:On Instagram: @james_fish_gillVisit his website: leadbyheart.comFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In this week's episode, I'm joined by my partner Joel and we're exploring some common misconceptions about avoidant attachment. Avoidant attachment is frequently misunderstood and misrepresented in a lot of online content, and it's so important to me to dispel some of those portrayals and offer something more humanising and more honest about what's going on for avoidant folks.We cover misconceptions around:avoidant people not wanting to be in relationshipsavoidant people only caring about themselvesavoidant people never experiencing anxiety in their relationshipsavoidant people being unable to changeFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm delighted to be joined by Julie Menanno. Julie is a couples therapist, best known for her hugely popular instagram account @thesecurerelationship where she offers nuanced and insightful takes on attachment dynamics and how couples can overcome negative cycles to build secure relationships. She has just released her first book, Secure Love, which offers couples a roadmap for building thriving relationships that last. Our conversation covers a lot of ground, including:a deeper look at the fear of abandonment in anxious attachmentkey challenges of avoidant attachmentnegative cycles in anxious-avoidant relationshipswhat to do when one partner doesn't want to go to therapythe importance of validating your partner's emotions (even if you disagree with their position)Julie's tips (as a mum of 6!) for raising secure kidsBuy Julie's book Secure Love on AmazonFollow Julie on Instagram @thesecurerelationshipVisit Julie's websiteFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about getting back together with an ex. Facing the prospect of rekindling after a relationship has ended can bring up so many conflicting feelings - longing, optimism and hope, together with fear, worry, self-doubt and anxiety. In helping you navigate the messiness of these situations, I'll be sharing some good reasons and some not-so-good reasons why you might consider getting back together with an ex, and how you can best approach that decision to support yourself and your relationship going forward. ♥️♥️ VALENTINES DAY SALE: SAVE 50% ON HIGHER LOVE AND SECURE TOGETHER WITH CODE "BIGLOVE" ♥️♥️ Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

✨ Last chance to join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge ✨If you've ever come across standard "self-love" advice and it hasn't really landed for you, you're not alone. As great as it would be if we could all click our heels and achieve self-love, the simple reality is that for most of us, that's a far cry from where we're at - and if anything, the pressure to love ourselves can leave us feeling even more broken and hopeless.In today's episode, I'm sharing four pillars of a healthy relationship with self, that go beyond "self-love". These are more concrete, actionable focus areas that you can explore as you build a stronger and more resilient sense of self, and in so doing, reap the rewards in your relationship with others. We'll cover:self-compassionself-careself-respectself-trustFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson and we're talking all about building self-worth, self-esteem and self-confidence in the context of dating. Dr. Morgan is a licensed clinical psychologist, attachment theory expert, relationship coach, and author of the relationship self-help book, Love Magnet. She is also the host of the Let's Get Vulnerable podcast.In our conversation, we cover:how insecure attachment styles fuel unhealthy dating patternshow low self-worth and a lack of self-trust impact our dating mindsetcommon shifts that occur as you rewire old patterns and move towards secure attachmentpractical tools and tips for shifting your dating mindset and building a secure dating personaTo connect with Dr. Morgan:Listen to her podcast: Let's Get VulnerableFind her on Instagram: @drmorgancoachingVisit her website: drmorgancoaching.comFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about why avoidant partners tend to struggle with defensiveness. While defensiveness is far from being the exclusive domain of avoidant attachment, many people will attest to the fact that avoidant folks are often quick to become defensive in response to relational tension or ruptures - and that this can form a key piece in the negative cycle of many anxious-avoidant relationships.We'll cover:why defensiveness is a natural response to feeling attackedhow avoidant partners can perceive relational needs and concerns as personal failingsavoidant attachment and emotional expressivenesshow you can start to relate to a partner's defensiveness with greater compassion rather than judgment and blame✨ Click here to join the 28-day Secure Self Challenge ✨Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about comparison. Comparison is one of those things that we're all susceptible to at some point or another: we compare ourselves based on appearance, personality, success, relationships. It can sometimes seem like there's a neverending list of reasons to feel dissatisfied or inadequate when we look at our lives relative to someone else's. And yet, while comparison is arguably a universal human experience, it's undeniable that some of us struggle with the comparison trap more than others - sometimes to the point where it feels debilitating and destructive to our sense of self.We'll cover:why some people are more susceptible to the comparison trap than othershow this tendency interfaces with other struggles like unworthiness, jealousy, anxious attachment, and fear of abandonmenthow building our self-worth can help us to shift focus away from others and build more genuine self-confidence⭐️ SIGN UP FOR THE 28-DAY SECURE SELF CHALLENGE ⭐️Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about break-ups. Break-ups are one of the most challenging and sometimes destabilising emotional experiences we can go through, and there is so much conflicting advice and information on how best to approach the ending of a relationship.In this episode, I'm providing you with some hard (but hopefully liberating) truths about the break-up process, so that you can make the most of the opportunity that your break-up offers to deepen in your self-awareness and your relationship with yourself. DOWNLOAD THE FREE CLOSURE MEDITATION HEREFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

For our last episode of the year, I'm sharing my own story about the power of choosing courage over comfort and making bold, scary, uncomfortable choices in the direction of the life that you desire. So many of us cling to familiarity and the known thing, even when it feels draining and deeply at odds with who we want to be and how we want our lives to look and feel. As we say goodbye to 2023 and enter the new year, let us reflect on where we are still hiding or avoiding in our lives, and what might be possible if we embrace a bigger, bolder, braver life that we can truly be proud of. Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, I'm sharing some thoughts about trust, risk and vulnerability. Many of us would prefer to trust only when we've completely de-risked or have some semblance of certainty that we won't get hurt, but unfortunately this is entirely at odds with the inherent vulnerability of trust. We'll cover:why our fear will always keep us on the lookout for ways in which we might get hurthow trust and vulnerability interface with fear and risk-aversionwhy we need to let go of trying to control the futurehow we can start to view trust as a choice rather than a feelingFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're unpacking three relationship superpowers (which frankly are also life superpowers!). These are the skills and mindset pieces that I wish for everyone to be cultivating as they walk the path of becoming more secure in themselves and in their partnerships. We talk about:discernment and self-trustthe importance of humility and curiositykeeping things in perspective Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about the importance of self-care in a relationship, and how prioritising self-care can (somewhat counterintuitively) be far more nourishing and constructive for the relationship than being overly focused on the relationship itself. We'll cover:why anxiously attached people tend to obsess over the relationship how neglecting ourselves when the relationship is under strain makes things worsewhy we should all be prioritising our self-care if we want a thriving relationship with ourselves and our partnersFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

In today's episode, we're talking all about emotional availability. Emotional availability is one of those terms that is thrown around a lot on social media - and it seems like everybody is on the lookout for the "emotionally unavailable" people that are to be avoided at all costs. But as always, I think it's important to approach these conversations with nuance and curiosity, before slapping labels on others and declaring them to be the problem. As we discuss in this episode, our focus on others' emotional unavailability can often mask the parts of us that are hiding behind inauthenticity.We cover:what does emotional availability (and unavailability) actually meanwhy we might be attracted to unavailability in othershow emotional unavailability can manifest differently for anxious vs avoidant peoplehow our own unavailability might be impacting our dating patternsFurther Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

✨ DOWNLOAD THE FREE PDF GUIDE HERE ✨In today's episode, I'm sharing 10 tips to start healing your anxious attachment style. While "healing" is not something that really lends itself to a formula or a 10-step plan, having guided thousands of students through the process of healing their anxious attachment I can certainly attest to the key growth areas for most folks with anxious attachment patterns. We'll cover things like getting your mindset right, learning about your nervous system, building self-worth, voicing needs and boundaries, how to have healthier conflict, and diversifying your life so you're not solely focused on your relationship.Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website

Join the waitlist for Healing Anxious Attachment Black Friday SaleIn today's episode, we're talking all about people-pleasing: what it is, why we do it, and how it's different to "just being a nice person". For many of us, people pleasing is second nature. We are so accustomed to accommodating others and burying our own feelings and needs that we don't even realise we're doing it. Unfortunately, this typically leads us to feel disconnected, lonely and exhausted - not to mention it usually backfires insofar as building healthy relationships is concerned.Further Links & Resources Sign up for Healing Anxious Attachment Explore my library of free guides, classes & meditations Check out my couples course, Secure Together (& save $200 with the code SECURE) Save $150 on my Higher Love break-up course with the code PHOENIX Follow me on Instagram: @stephanie__rigg & @onattachment Visit my website