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WOE.BEGONE

Author: WOE.BEGONE Industries LLC

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Mike Walters discovers a mysterious and violent online game named WOE.BEGONE. What begins as an exploration of an alternate reality game with real-life consequences quickly becomes a search for the technology that makes the game possible. New soundtrack every episode.

Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

332 Episodes
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242: Wooly

242: Wooly

2026-04-0837:27

“Jersey Wooly rabbits are most active around daybreak and sunset. They do better indoors but should have enough space to run around in the house. Allowing your rabbit to run outdoors will help it get fresh air and sunlight, which makes for a healthy life. However, make sure it is in a secure area away from other animals or possible predators.”LINKS:KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopMUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
241: Lionhead

241: Lionhead

2026-04-0149:27

"Lionhead rabbits are social, energetic, and enjoy human interaction, but they can be skittish and generally don't like being picked up."[WARNING: This episode contains discussions of and depictions of violence. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Ben Rowe as FelixFay Roberts as SamanthaJessica Rowe as SammieDavid Ault as Ty BetteridgeKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The storm was brewingMatt got into jazzThe world lost all the sense it ever hadAn iterationGave them adviceThey found themselves on the road at nightAnd it’s not that hardTo find an orbWhen it’s floating feet above the waterAnd it’s not that smartTo drive you carRight up to the bank of the riverKeep off of the grassMikey and MichaelBeefed it with normStinky and Bradford have questions for themMichael is missingHe up and disappearedMike’s Operose will take it from hereAnd it’s not that hardTo twist an armWhen it’s attached to you into the futureSo Michael worksFor Mike, that jerkHe and the Elements will start to lay the groundworkSo keep off of the grassBoris pulls upHe saves the Matt PackHe drives them through the storm all the way backBut someone broke inA corpse was left behindThe clues that are on him swirl in their mindsAnd it’s not that hardTo find where to startWhen you see yourself in a picture as a strangerSo they book a flightGet there over nightTo see what it is about is Oldbrush ValleyBetter keep off of the grassNow at the Ice LairMichael’s upsetThe Elements are the worst help he could getAnd there’s a missionMike wants him to logIn the Fire Future with MDawgAnd it’s not that hardTo lose your sparkWhen you get abandoned inside a strange futureMichael tries to hideBut Fox finds him insideBluster’s stable and they go to fight the fireBetter keep off of the grassIn Oldbrush ValleyMatt greets PythonHe shows them a corpse like the one back homeBefore they are readyHe transports them offIt’s all according to a plan that they know nothing ofAnd it’s not that hardIn Bluster’s GroveWhen the Matt Pack suddenly lands into your lapLieutenant winsAt chess again (metaphorically)And MW goes to see TexSo you better keep off of the grassTex is workingScouting on his ownHe killed Gallium when Gallium got closeHe located Michael andStuffed him in a vatHe’s gonna use him to figure out what Mike hasAnd it’s not that hardTo find the startWhen you consolidate Michael to get the infoBut MW steps upHe’s the lucky oneNow he and Michael are finally togetherThey’re gonna keep off of the grassThe Matt Pack’s home They need their rest butWho shows up next they could never guessAn iteration with a Flower tattooHe looks like Matt and he saysThat they’re in a correction tooAnd it’s not that hardTo leave a markWhen you’ve got the culprit tied in your roomMatt burns his neckBut does not expectThat the future Python shows no effectKeep off of the grassRubi and CaeWork without a plan untilThe Ice Lair sends Cae to a distant landWhen he returnsHe has terrible newsAll of them are in a continuous correction tooAnd mike takes it hardHis mind is scarredBecause something has gone wrong with EdgarBut now he has a toolTo use against Lieutenant tooHe’ll get a seat at the table or deploy the weaponBetter keep off of the grassMagnolia steps inYou know they know the scoreThe Field Of Flowers weighs in on the warThe Matt Pack can stop thisGotta get to the deviceBut you know saving the world comes at a priceAnd it’s not that hardTo shut the doorWhen MW helps from the inside Matt gets erasedIt is no mistake andBoris tries to hold onto memoriesWhile he keeps off of the grassMike can’t rememberBut Cae surely canThey’re reunited by the Punks in Troy’s mansionEagle and LieutenantHave started moving inBut The Hutch puts an end to Operose againCause it’s not that hardFor Stinky to outsmartThose meanies who want to run the worldTryLeg pulls some stringsAnd the compound bringsAll their iterations of Mike into battleYou know they keep off of the grassSo what is next nowThat everyone knowsEverything that they have tried to hide?Will it make them strongerTo remember it allOr it will it cause them to fall apart Right in front of our eyesAnd it’s not that hardTo make a fresh startJust as long we’re all on the same pagesBut I'm sure what’s nextWill need addressedAnd I hope they stay united through the ages  And keep off of the grass Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Season 21 begins next week. Thanks for playing. KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
240: Day ±∞

240: Day ±∞

2026-03-1801:51:39

Prime Mike, pipin' hot.[Warning: This episode contains depictions of violence and death, including gun violence, as well as violence that is wet and visceral. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Jamie Petronis as MattPine Gonzalez as MagnoliaAleksandr Batenko as BorisSteve Anzalone as EagleJJ as SkinnerCody Heath as BritchesAthan as TroyKirstin Ria as Fox HollowayJeremy Enfinger as EdgarBen Rowe as FelixDavid Ault as Ty BetteridgeHenry Galley as Bradford BeaumontKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
It is best to be early for war.[Warning: This episode contains depictions of violence, including gun violence, as well as death. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Jamie Petronis as MattPine Gonzalez as MagnoliaAleksandr Batenko as BorisSteve Anzalone as EagleKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
238: Day 28

238: Day 28

2026-03-0435:05

It don't change the price of hamhocks in Spain.KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
The revolver felt heavy and cold in my hand.[Warning: This episode contains depictions of violence, gun violence, death, and burning flesh. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Jamie Petronis as Matt and "Future Matt"KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
236: Day -1287

236: Day -1287

2026-02-1834:49

Gunshy.[Warning: This episode contains depictions of violence, gun violence, and death. Listener discretion is advised.]KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
There you go. I made the first move. So start talking, cowboy.CREDITS:Jamie Petronis as MattKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
Download The American Bison 4 for free: https://woebegonepod.bandcamp.com/album/the-american-bison-4Season 20 continues next week. Thanks for playing.KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
234: Day 753

234: Day 753

2026-01-2836:19

I ain’t that difficult to figure out. I just got secrets.[Warning: The episode contains depictions of death, gun violence, and hypothetical squirrel death. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Kirsten Ria as Fox HollowayKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
A serpent in hiding can kill you before you see it.[Warning: This episode contains depictions of death and gun violence. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Jamie Petronis as Matt and PythonKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
232: Day 14

232: Day 14

2026-01-1429:58

You gotta let these things play out until they can't play out no more. Makes for less tracks in the snow.[Warning: This episode contains a depiction of gun violence. Listener discretion is advised.]KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
it is important to make sure your enemy is dead, so that he cannot attack you when you turn your back.[Warning: This episode contains a depiction of death. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Jamie Petronis as MattAleksandr Batenko as BorisKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
230: Day 0

230: Day 0

2025-12-3131:37

You left the gate open for ‘em.[Warning: This episode contains a description of using animals for their meat. Listener discretion is advised.]KO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
“You need calloused hands to do dirty work.”[Warning: this episode contains depictions of violence, including gun violence, and references to alcohol. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Jamie Petronis as MattKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopLINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
LYRICS:Well Edgar is dead there is nothing to sayNothing Mike can do will make it okayThere’s nothing to do to return him to formBetter to stay home and hang out with NormMike kills a spider inside of his houseHe carries it with him whenever he’s outMichael thinks he’d do better out of the homeSo Mike goes to Texas, down to bluster’s groveTex has an idea of what’s going onHe sends Mike to Yellowknife to live on a farmThe Yellowknife folks don’t like Mike's planSo they break his calculator, no more numbers, manMike escapes back to Bluster’s GroveHe’s been living as stock with the numbers aloneThe lost year is gone, it’s burned in the pastTex pushed mike right into a vatIt’s better to let these things goBut mike can’t keep well enough aloneThere’s talks at the tavern of a rerack todayBut Tex gets dethroned and Mike is set freeA is in charge, he’s cracking the whipOutlaw and Bluster are now wanted menMike is retired after such a long tripHe piles up the past to try and get over itBase is continuing correcting the timeMike sleeps through a conference and steps on a spiderMeanwhile Al is the king of the crabsHe puts down a mutiny with a wave of his handsLieutenant swears revenge and you know that he’ll get itOperose will be back if Mike will just let itTy visits Mike to make a house callActing like he doesn’t want anything at allHe makes Mike promise he won’t do something drasticMike tells Ty he can kiss his asscheekIt’s better to let these things goBut mike can’t keep well enough aloneMike starts to blink when he’s at the compoundDestabilized timelines are going aroundAnd Norm gets too close to remain in the foldBradford and Stinky take over his homeStinky plays dumb, Mike blinks outMike is getting desperate for help right nowHe begs Michael for guidance, Michael says yepHe proves Mike will become him, cuts off his fingertipEdgar blinks out inside a correctionHe cannot avoid Operose’s detectionEveryone is trying to remember him aliveBut Mike is determined he will never dieLieutenant’s set free, he sends Al to TyAl sends Mike to yellowknife and then al’s sent to dieLieutenant kills A and frees Tex from the vatsHe sends Edman to Yellowknife where Mike is atIt’s better to let these things goBut mike can’t keep well enough aloneBradford sends Mike to Norm, he don’t remember a thingMike transports in the room and ruins everythingHe meets the cured Edgar and chooses to save himThe iteration storm stars, cue the mayhemBut what about the lost year, that voice that we heard?Is it fated to stay buried in the dirt?Now that Mike initiated the stormWhat will become of the Mikes that are born?Is Operose now a foregone conclusionThat Mike founded it to keep Edgar elusiveAnd maybe the most important question of allWill the Matt Pack get screentime in this season at all?It’s better to let these things goBut mike can’t keep well enough alone Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
I was dead, to begin with. There is no doubt whatever about that.[Warning: this episode contains depictions of alcohol, sickness, and death, and contains from mouth sounds like sneezing and coughing.]CREDITS:Written by Ben Rowe and Just J.JustJ as SkinnerLyssa Jay as CharlieMichelle Kan as Marissa NgDavid Ault as Ty BetteridgeBen Rowe as FelixCody Heath as BritchesTatiana Gefter as HelenJesse Syrat as FlashPine Gonzales as Magnolia Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
228: The Way He Lived

228: The Way He Lived

2025-12-1002:19:24

There is a hole in him.[Warning: This episode contains depictions of death, violence, gun violence, preparing animals for food, and a brief mention of alcohol use. Listener discretion is advised.]CREDITS:Kevin Berrey as RyanHarlan Guthrie as Sylvester August BaxterJustJ as SkinnerDerek Moreland as Rugby ManGary Furlong as Hunter Jeremiah HartleyTaylor Michaels as ChanceLyssa Jay as CharlieMichelle Kan as Marissa NgHenry Galley as Bradford BeaumontJeremy Enfinger as EdgarRyan Joseph Murphy as NormDavid Ault as Ty BetteridgeBen Rowe as FelixJamie Petronis as MattCody Heath as BritchesPine Gonzales as MagnoliaJess Syrat as FlashKO-FI SHOP: https://ko-fi.com/woebegonepod/shopUse code WOEBLEFTGONE for 15% off!LINKS:MUSIC: http://woebegonepod.bandcamp.comBLUSTEER: http://blusteer.bandcamp.comTWITCH: http://twitch.tv/woebegonepodPATREON: http://patreon.com/woe_begoneALIZA SCHULTZ: https://shows.acast.com/the-diary-of-aliza-schultzTRANSCRIPTS: http://WOEBEGONEPOD.comTWITTER: @WOEBEGONEPOD Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Comments (58)

Xsnbiu

i don't think garbage disposals are common in Latvia, especially in older buildings. They definitely aren't common in Poland

Jun 25th
Reply

Xsnbiu

Mike, darling, when prisoners in secret facilities are more trouble than they're worth they don't get released, they get killed.

Jun 22nd
Reply

Xsnbiu

im sorry, but why doesn't he have like, a lighter?? and while im not sure how good it would be, but cutting strips of clothing could make for a string, or even the shoelaces if he can handle being without them for a while, and making a trap doesn't seem that complicated (tho i haven't had the opportunity yet). also the stream might have fish? those should be easy enough to trap. i guess he isn't thinking straight out of hunger and exhaustion

Jun 22nd
Reply

Xsnbiu

did no-one actually think about getting like, local anesthesia? it's not forbidden by the instructions i think, also i know a tourniquet wouldn't really work on the shoulder but maybe it could reduce the bleeding a little?

Jun 21st
Reply

Beth Waugh

omg I love Troy.

Jan 26th
Reply

Beth Waugh

I am completely obsessed with the Basement song. ❤️

Dec 14th
Reply

Rasa-Līla Galviņa

wow that russian was...physically painful to listen to. Why do so many american podcasters so confidently think they can play native russian speakers....

Nov 12th
Reply

Riccardo Leone

The multiverse theory is scary. That means there's still a number of timelines out there where Mike died of self-mutilation. But I'm distracted by how funny it's to imagine two guys flirting and talking about time travel while the grunt of one of the two is gagged and rolls his eyes every time they tease each other.

Aug 11th
Reply

Markie Arcarese

Mike plays Woe Begone like I play D&D. Wild theories based off context clues and narrative symmetry that usually end up being at l3ast partially correct.

Jul 20th
Reply

Andi-Roo Libecap

I've been binging this show for the last couple days — it's phenomenal! I'm already on ep42. Every time I finish one I immediately have to start the next. It's dark but funny; clever but doesn't take itself too seriously; grotesque but sweet in places. I have found myself grinning and cringing and back again. I don't know how I missed this gem but now that I've found it, I'm shouting its praise from the rooftops! Highly recommend, my fellow audiophiles.Thanks for playing! This is Woe.Begone.

Jul 13th
Reply

Andi-Roo Libecap

"I love you, too." 🥹 aaaw why did that touch my heart so deeply??? The unexpected warmth, affection, and vulnerability in a show full of cynicism and dark humor... great writing! I love this podcast!

Jul 12th
Reply

Andi-Roo Libecap

I did not see any of this coming. Well done!

Jul 11th
Reply

Andi-Roo Libecap

"The teacher has assigned extra homework" LOLOL

Jul 11th
Reply

Hermes

wha-

May 20th
Reply

Hermes

Hmm finally we're hearing someone other than Mike through episodes

May 20th
Reply

Hermes

I've listened to them in order so far and yet can't work it out who knows what exactly.

May 20th
Reply (1)

Hermes

"Four liars lying to each other, this is Woe Begone. "

May 20th
Reply

Hermes

the narration is getting better thank god

May 19th
Reply

Hermes

Mike's literally like "Coffee🥰 Woe Begone😌"

May 19th
Reply

Hermes

They're mental..

May 19th
Reply