Our Last Meal: Loss, Grief and Food

This week is a special episode of Our Last Meal. I'm sharing an episode of the podcast Good Grief, hosted by friend of the show: Nikki the Death Doula. This episode talks about things you should (and shouldn't) say to those who are grieving. You can visit her website ⁠⁠here⁠⁠ and listen to her podcast, Good Grief, ⁠⁠here⁠⁠. Visit us at ⁠⁠Our Last Meal⁠⁠ or at [email protected]; you can also find us at ourlastmealpod on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠YouTube ⁠⁠or ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠.  If you're interested in being on the show, reach out via ⁠⁠Share Your Story⁠⁠. If you like what you hear, please consider subscribing, sharing with your friends & family or leaving a rating & review. CW: this show does talk about death so please be mindful as you listen.

I think one of the character traits I admire most in another person is the ability to fully throw themselves into something they’re passionate about. I’m not just talking about the normal levels of fandom or interest either. I mean the people who find an interest and set out to understand it at the most mechanical level. You’ve met these people before - the ones who mention a new interest in cooking to you in passing and then a few months later they can cook a high-end, four-course meal. Or the person who gets interested in guitar and makes it their goal to be the next Jack White (some people would say Eric Clapton here and fair enough but I have a special place in my heart for the White Stripes).  There are a lot of reasons people do this. Curiosity is certainly a big driver but I don’t think that fully explains it. It’s more than curiosity - bordering perhaps on obsession. There are those among us who just want and need to know and I love that. I love reading about their passions, hearing about them, and talking about them. My guest this week has made an incredibly successful career out of learning and sharing - and I promise you that I’m not fully doing her work justice. I present to you one of the more interesting conversations that I’ve been fortunate enough to do and I hope you will enjoy it as much as I did.   CW: this show does talk about death so please be mindful as you listen. Learn more about Lauren Kessler at her website. You can also follow her on Instagram or Facebook and check out her books here. I would also encourage you to read her essay, Still Life. If you like what I'm doing, visit the website at ⁠⁠⁠Our Last Meal⁠⁠⁠ or at [email protected]; you can also find us at ourlastmealpod on ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠, ⁠⁠⁠YouTube ⁠⁠⁠or ⁠⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠⁠.  If you're interested in being on the show, reach out via ⁠⁠⁠Share Your Story⁠⁠⁠. If you like what you hear, please consider subscribing, sharing with your friends & family or leaving a rating & review.  I'm also experimenting with Substack so please give that a follow if you're interested - I promise I won't blow up your inbox.

I’ve talked a lot about using grief to make, do or accomplish - and I really believe in that. I’ve talked with some incredible people who have channeled grief in to ways of helping others. I realized as I was talking to my guest this week though that there was something else that I haven’t really touched on…closure.  I think the idea of closure is complicated - it doesn’t feel as simple as just getting over something. It feels like something you have to be incredibly mindful about. Something you have to acknowledge and claim. It’s not a matter of moving on but more a matter of making peace. You can learn about Paige at her website, on Instagram or listen to her podcast here. Visit us at ⁠⁠Our Last Meal⁠⁠ or at [email protected]; you can also find us at ourlastmealpod on ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠, ⁠⁠YouTube ⁠⁠or ⁠⁠TikTok⁠⁠.  If you're interested in being on the show, reach out via ⁠⁠Share Your Story⁠⁠. If you like what you hear, please consider subscribing, sharing with your friends & family or leaving a rating & review.  CW: this show does talk about death so please be mindful as you listen.

Right off the bat, I want to say that today’s episode deals with the topic of suicide. It’s not an easy discussion and may be especially hard for some listeners. If you or someone you know is struggling and contemplating suicide, please reach out to the suicide & crisis lifeline at 988 or 988lifeline.org. There’s a saying that time heals all wounds but I have a lot of trouble with that. First of all, heal is entirely the wrong word for some wounds. Secondly, time alone isn’t enough. There are some wounds and hurt that don’t ease up with time - maybe they dull. Or maybe they bide their time and throb and ache when our guard is down or when we’re willing to let it. I think that sometimes, we need that pain to remind us how lucky we were to have had someone that we cared about so much. We have to utilize that pain in healthy ways though - not to dwell on it and allow it to swallow us whole but to keep us grounded and in touch with those memories.   CW: this show does talk about death so please be mindful as you listen. You can listen to PhiloSofa Talk wherever you get podcasts. If you enjoy today’s episode, please consider subscribing, rating & reviewing and following on social media at ⁠⁠Ourlastmealpod⁠⁠ or you can reach out at ⁠⁠[email protected]⁠⁠ 

In this conversation, Nikki shares her experience of losing her beloved cat, Yuna. Nikki talks about how she and Yuna grew up together and went through many life events together. She also shares Yuna's unique personality and the special bond they shared. Nikki discusses the anticipatory grief she experienced before Yuna's passing and the process of saying goodbye. The conversation also touches on the bond between a pet and their person and the stigma of pet loss. Read The Rainbow Bridge here. You can visit her website ⁠here⁠ and listen to her podcast, Good Grief, ⁠here⁠. Visit us at ⁠Our Last Meal⁠ or at [email protected]; you can also find us at ourlastmealpod on ⁠Instagram⁠, ⁠YouTube ⁠or ⁠TikTok⁠.  If you're interested in being on the show, reach out via ⁠Share Your Story⁠. If you like what you hear, please consider subscribing, sharing with your friends & family or leaving a rating & review. CW: this show does talk about death so please be mindful as you listen.