The Hook Up

Ever been mentally turned on but your body isn't responding? Or maybe your body is turned on but your mind isn’t? That's arousal non-concordance, and it's way more common than you think. In this ep, Dee speaks to psychologist and sexologist Laura Lee about why it happens, how it can impact consent and how to handle it.SHOW NOTES:Laura Lee Website - https://www.lauralee.com.au/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Do you think humans are biologically wired for one partner? Or have we been socially conditioned into monogamy? We deep dive into the science and history of human relationships to figure out whether pairing with one person for life is our natural state of being, or if we’re actually biologically predisposed to be non-monogamous.SHOW NOTES:Our biology wants us untethered. So why does society place so much emphasis on monogamy?:https://www.latimes.com/opinion/op-ed/la-oe-barash-why-humans-choose-monogamy-20160320-story.htmlMonogamous Animal Study - where humans rank:https://www.theguardian.com/science/2025/dec/10/humans-rank-among-leading-monogamous-mammals-study-findsPODCAST: Science Vs - True Love: Is Monogamy Unnatural? https://open.spotify.com/episode/1gm9BvCWsHhXN2erbvNXivPODCAST: Lives Well Lived w/ Anna Machin: Monogamy Is Unnaturalhttps://open.spotify.com/episode/3WyhifKm70RhzlLUChN8S3BOOK: Esther Perel - Mating In CaptivityBOOK: Sex At Dawn - Christopher Ryan and Cacilda JetháBOOK: Eve: How the Female Body Drove 200 Million Years of Human Evolution - Cat Bohannon VIDEO: Helen Fisher + Chris Ryan + Esther Perelhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jMji-YE1qVADM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Louis Theroux’s new Netflix doco Inside the Manosphere has everyone talking. So in this episode, Dee chats with men’s violence prevention advocate and educator Tarang Chawla about his reaction to the film, why so many young men and boys are drawn to manosphere influencers, and the real-world impacts this content is having.SHOW NOTES:Inside The Manosphere - https://www.netflix.com/au/title/81920687Tarang Chawla - https://tarangchawla.com/1800 Respect (1800 737 732): national domestic family and sexual violence counselling hotline.Mensline Australia (1300 78 99 78): counselling support for men with concerns about mental health, relationships, anger management, family violence (using and experiencing), stress, and suicidal thoughts.13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Sometimes our mates do or say things that are a turn off - but unlike a relationship, sometimes we let them slide. In this episode we find out your friendship icks, and debate whether we should hold friends to the same standard that we hold our relationships to.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? When writer Chanté Joseph asked that question in Vogue last year, she broke the internet. It pissed a lot of people off, but it also made a lot of single women finally feel validated. So why did it strike such a nerve? Dee Salmin asks Chanté what she really meant, what she thinks about heterosexuality in 2026, and whether engagements and marriage are embarrassing too. SHOW NOTES:Is Having A Boyfriend Embarrassing Now? Article: https://www.vogue.com/article/is-having-a-boyfriend-embarrassing-nowDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

If you really want (or don’t want) kids, what do you do if you’re dating or in a relationship with someone who doesn’t feel the same way? It can be one of the hardest things to navigate, so in this episode – you’ll hear from relationship coach Megan Luscombe on how to figure out if it’s a dealbreaker or if it’s something you can work through. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Whether you’re on a first date, or deep into a relationship, a dealbreaker can come out of nowhere and really change the way you feel about someone. We find out what yours are, when you’ve ended relationships over them and if you (or a partner) have compromised or changed for a dealbreaker.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Like we heard in last week’s ep, miscarriages are so common, yet so many people feel alone in their experience. So in this ep, you’ll hear from author Jess Kirkness again - sharing the emotional impact her pregnancy loss had on her, as well as from Miscarriage Australia’s Dr Jade Bilardi and clinical psychologist Clare Bellhouse on how to heal and best support your loved ones.SHOW NOTES:Jess Kirkness Article - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-02-21/miscarriage-loss-grief/106308830Miscarriage Australia - https://miscarriageaustralia.com.au/Red Nose Grief and Loss Support Line (1300 308 307): 24/7 support for anyone impacted by miscarriage, stillbirth, or baby death.Pink Elephants Pregnancy Loss Helpline (1300 726 306): Support via PANDA, available Mon-Fri 9am-7:30pm, Sat 9am-4pm AEST.13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

They say don’t judge a book by its cover - but does that mean you should always “give them a chance” if you’re not immediately attracted to someone? In this episode we’re debating whether attraction needs to be instant or can grow over time, are we stringing people along if we wait for it to develop, and have dating apps have killed slowburn romance.SHOW NOTES:Romantic attraction and evolution: New study pinpoints key traits in mate selection:https://www.psypost.org/romantic-attraction-and-evolution-new-study-pinpoints-key-traits-in-mate-selection/The Preferred Traits of Mates in a Cross-National Study of Heterosexual and Homosexual Men and Women:https://www.researchgate.net/publication/6427708_The_Preferred_Traits_of_Mates_in_a_Cross-National_Study_of_Heterosexual_and_Homosexual_Men_and_Women_An_Examination_of_Biological_and_Cultural_InfluencesOUR EP: Unpacking Adolescence, The Manosphere and The 80/20 Rulehttps://www.abc.net.au/triplej/programs/the-hook-up/unpacking-adolescence-the-manosphere-and-the-80-20-rule/105118516DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Miscarriages and pregnancy loss are so much more common than we might think. But no one really talks about them?! In this ep you’ll hear from Jess Kirkness, a writer who shares her miscarriage story, plus you’ll also hear from gynaecologist Dr Charlotte Elder on why they happen and what to expect. SHOW NOTES:Jess Kirkness Article - https://www.abc.net.au/news/2026-02-21/miscarriage-loss-grief/106308830Red Nose Grief and Loss Support Line (1300 308 307): 24/7 support for anyone impacted by miscarriage, stillbirth, or baby death.Pink Elephants Pregnancy Loss Helpline (1300 726 306): Support via PANDA, available Mon-Fri 9am-7:30pm, Sat 9am-4pm AEST.13YARN (13 92 76): 24/7 culturally safe crisis support for Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander people.Beyond Blue (1300 22 4636): 24/7 support for anxiety and depression.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Everyone knows about the “3 date rule”, but is it always worth the wait? We find out why you’re holding off sex or diving right in, if there’s a magic number of dates before getting intimate and whether having sex too soon can stop a relationship in it’s tracks.SHOW NOTES:YouGov Survey on how long you should wait before having sex:https://today.yougov.com/society/articles/37341-relationships-dating-marriage-sex-milestones-poll?utm_source=chatgpt.comStudies on first-date sex impacting relationships:https://www.datingadvice.com/studies/fdshlthttps://www.mamamia.com.au/sex-on-first-date/Differing relationship outcomes when sex happens before, on, or after first dateshttps://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/23121225/DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

When we asked what kind of porn you're into, so many of you told us you love piss play. We chat to sexologist and psychologist Laura Lee on this seemingly common kink/fetish, why it's so hot for some and how to do it well.SHOW NOTES:Laura Lee Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/lauraleesexology/?hl=enDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We’ve all been audiences to celebrity splits where dirty laundry gets aired out through podcast tell-all’s, tiktok sprays and album drops - but what about when it happens closer to home? We explore the aftermath of a break up and hear your stories of when you’ve gone public, from openly grieving to spilling secrets, to when you’ve been put on blast by an ex and had the truth twisted. DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

What does the kinda porn you’re into mean? Is it just a fantasy or is it deeper than that?And how do you deal with feelings of shame and guilt if what you like to get off to, doesn’t align with who you are in your everyday life. In this ep, Dee chats to sexologist Lauren French about what your porn taste says about you. SHOW NOTES:Lifeline: 13 11 141800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732 MensLine Australia: 1300 78 99 78 Qlife (Queer support services): 1800 184 527Pornaddiction.com: PornAddiction.com Sex Addiction Australia: https://www.sexaddictionaustralia.com.au/RELATED EPISODES:What Kind Of Porn Are You Into?: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UWABwwal8II&list=PLFqO_oqoHHMzFwCWPXOj6CDpOdG3eS8cE&index=1DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Sometimes what turns you on can throw you for a loop. Maybe you’re straight but love gay porn? Or maybe you consider yourself a staunch feminist, but you get off watching gangbangs or reading CNC smut books? In this episode we find out all the different types of porn you’re loving, and whether your taste in porn aligns with your sexuality, gender and politics.*Content warning* - In this ep we discuss genres of porn that might be confronting to some. We'll be asking follow up questions in our next ep with an expert.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Heated Rivalry is one of the hottest, most popular shows right now. So what is it about Shane Hollander and Ilya Rozanov that's got so many gay men AND women obsessed? We unpack the Canadian 8 episode HBO series with comedian, and host of The Mitch Churi Show, Mitch Churi - and hear why this series has become a cultural turning point for queer love stories.SHOW NOTES:The Mitch Churi Chat Show: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UClC22mpuIS85Tj_-U-ENqpgDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

It sounds great on paper - a friend who you have no-strings-attached, drama free sex with. But is it really possible, and is it worth trying? We hear your experiences with FWB relationships - from when they’ve worked to when they’ve crashed and burned - and your rules to make a successful friends with benefits.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Is your partner a massive scroller? Always on their phone for work? Obsessed with watching videos? Being on your phone too much in a relationship can massively impact your connection and intimacy. It’s something professor Dr Michelle Drouin has been studying for years. In this ep, she chats to Dee about her research and how you can chill out on the phone use in your relos. SHOW NOTES:Dee and Pip vodcast episode: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dU_nIC10ptgDr Michelle Drouin - professor of psychology at Purdue University Fort Wayne and research scientist at Parkview Health: https://www.drmichelledrouin.com/Book: Out Of Touch - How To Survive An Intimacy Famine DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

Nearly 70% of you reckon that phones are causing problems in your relationships. From etiquette and icks in early dating, to feeling distant and causing tension with your long term partners - we explore how they’re impacting our love lives, whether they can create intimacy and your rules to curb your “smartphone addiction” (if that’s even a real thing).SHOW NOTES:Phone Addiction: https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/ng-interactive/2024/jan/03/what-is-phone-addiction-definition-science-debateDM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.

We're back!!! Dee and Pip yap about their summers. Guess who was sick and who partied non stop. They also debrief Heated Rivalry and let you know what's coming up this year with The Hook Up.DM us your thoughts, questions, topics, or to just vent at @triplejthehookup on IG or email us: thehookup@abc.net.auThe Hook Up is an ABC podcast, produced by triple j. It is recorded on the lands of the Wurundjeri people of the Kulin nation. We pay our respects to elders past and present. We acknowledge Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander peoples as the First Australians and Traditional Custodians of the land where we live, work, and learn.