CONSISTENT by Primal Potential

Declutter your home. Cook from scratch. Strength train, try fasting, invest for retirement. Every one of those is good advice, and the pile of it together is crushing so many of the women working hardest on themselves.This is part one of a series on what happens when self-improvement turns into self-rejection: why so many of us feel worse about ourselves the more we work on ourselves, and what we can do about it without giving up on our goals.In this episode:Why women in their 40s and 50s are the first generation to live with this much constant exposure to who we should beWhy reaching the goal doesn’t fix the not-enough feeling, and what I learned when that feeling came back for meHow self-improvement can be a tool or a weapon, depending on how you carry itWhat I told a girlfriend about my to-do list, and what I measure my day by nowA simple exercise for the next 24 hours: count your thoughtsWhere this series goes nextRead the written version and get the next parts in your inbox: elizabethbentonthompson.substack.comBuild My Coach: three personal coaches in your pocket, built by me and personalized to you. elizabethbenton.com/buildmycoachWork with me one-on-one: elizabethbenton.com/work-with-meInsights to SaveI collect insights like these in my Insight Library. If you’re collecting them too, here are a few from this episode worth saving:Manageable isn’t the same as optimal. You can be the woman who somehow gets it all done for the rest of your life. That doesn’t mean it’s the best way to live, and it doesn’t mean you’ll ever feel at peace doing it.Self-improvement can be a tool or a weapon, depending on how you carry it. Carried as a weapon, your goals and to-dos come with shame, shoulds, rules and pressure, and an unfinished list means you failed the day. Carried as a tool, the same goals feel like an opportunity instead of a burden, and the day gets measured by what matters more: your faith, the people you love, moments of joy, and the difference you made for someone.When a goal is built on “the way I am right now isn’t good enough,” reaching it can’t fix that feeling, because the goal was never where the feeling came from. You can lose the weight or get out of debt and still feel exactly the way you did before you started.When the message all day long is that everything about you needs work, your attention lands on yourself, and most of it lands on what’s wrong. A mind full of me and what I lack leaves almost no room for what’s good, or for the people who matter more than me.

Your consistency usually starts falling apart days before you notice, and it almost always starts with something small you stop doing. In this episode: the Jenga demonstration from my Boston training, how to spot your earliest signs of a wobble, the one question to ask before you give yourself a pass, and how to find the few things that rebuild everything else.Insights to SaveI collect insights like these in my Insight Library, so the right one is there when I need it. If you're collecting them too, here are a few from this episode to add to yours:Nothing falling apart doesn't mean nothing happened.The same excuse costs more when your tower already has holes in it.Before you give yourself a pass, ask: how strong is the base right now?Your wobble almost always starts with something small you stop doing.Not knowing the data doesn't change the reality. It just makes it easier to ignore.You don't need 20 things to go back to. You need your big three.Protect the woman you want to be.Read the article version of this episode, and get a new piece every week on following through when you have a very convincing reason not to, on my Substack

There's a trap keeping a lot of us from what we want, and most of us walked into it again this week.It goes like this. We're not where we want to be. With our health, our money, our marriage, our kids. And we think, "I just need someone to tell me the thing. This book is going to be the one. This is what's going to make it click."So we read the book. We get the freebie. We take the course. We sign up for the webinar. We follow one more person who seems to have it figured out.And we're constantly in this learning loop, because we believe we just haven't gotten the piece of information that makes it click yet.We don't have an information problem. We have a retention and access problem. Insight Library solves it. Save 50% off your first year with code LAUNCH through Oct 31.

The most helpful thing I ever told a client was to eat nine pieces of Halloween candy.For weeks she’d promised herself “none,” and for weeks it hadn’t worked once. Nine worked right away. Less than 10 days later, she wasn’t eating the candy at all. In this episode, I break down why, and what makes the next plan different from the last hundred.In this episode:Why the plan you know you should follow and the plan you’re willing to follow can be miles apartThe question I use to find the version I’ll actually do, and the day I used it after butchering chickens, a sick babysitter and no food until 3 p.m.Why “I must not want it enough” is the wrong explanationHow to tell whether an excuse is about this moment or part of a patternThe three checks to run before you start over againRead the free written version on Substack: https://elizabethbentonthompson.substack.com/p/started-over-a-hundred-times-heresIf you want to go deeper:3 Strategies for When You Know What to Do but Still Aren’t Doing It: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1340-3-strategies-for-when-you-know-what-to-do-but/id954984769?i=1000724349837How to Shut Down Excuses in the Moment, Even When They Feel True: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1337-how-to-shut-down-excuses-in-the-moment-even-when/id954984769?i=1000723192258Consistency Vault Part 2: Dial Down: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/1378-consistency-vault-part-2-dial-down/id954984769?i=1000744777319Follow me on Substack: https://substack.com/@elizabethbentonthompson

How I Get Out of Overwhelm in Under a Minute: The Fix No One Taught YouMost of the overwhelm you’ll feel this week will come from trying to solve things it isn’t time to solve yet.After I wrote about this on Substack, a lot of you asked me to go deeper, so in this episode I do. You’ll hear:Why the amount on your plate matters a lot less than you thinkWhat a text about our empty egg box taught me about mental managementThe simple decision tree I use to get out of overwhelm in under a minuteWhy overwhelm shows up at night, and after a great course or conferenceWhat to do when it really is the right time and it still feels like too muchOne thing to try in the next 24 hoursRead the free article this episode came from: elizabethbentonthompson.substack.comBuild My Coach: For less than the cost of a single coaching session, get three personal coaches in your pocket, built by me and personalized to you, ready to coach you through the decisions that are actually shaping your life, 24/7. $97 until November 1. elizabethbenton.com/buildmycoach