The Shallow End

Some people break into houses to steal valuables. Others apparently just want to use the shower. This week on The Shallow End, Jethro and Lindsay revisit the astonishing case of an Oregon man who broke into a stranger's home, helped himself to a shower, and then called 911 when the homeowner returned. With two German shepherds standing between him and freedom, he decided the safest course of action was to summon the police. The actual 911 recordings make an already ridiculous situation even better. Then, a listener shares an unforgettable cautionary tale involving a severe sunburn, a catastrophic mix-up with muscle balm, some extremely unfortunate towel placement, and an innocent attempt to find relief that earned him the lifelong nickname "Tripod." Finally, two Utah roommates decide to test whether it's possible to dodge a bullet, taking inspiration from The Matrix. What begins as a spectacularly ill-advised experiment ends in tragedy, proving that some questions are better left unanswered. It's another collection of bizarre true stories, spectacularly bad decisions, unexpected consequences, and the kind of human behavior that makes The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth a celebration of questionable judgment. Because sometimes the shallow end is a lot deeper than it looks. Have a story of your own? Email [email protected]. Subscribe, follow, and share The Shallow End wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Some people break into houses to steal valuables. Others apparently just want to use the shower. This week on The Shallow End, Jethro and Lindsay revisit the astonishing case of an Oregon man who broke into a stranger's home, helped himself to a shower, and then called 911 when the homeowner returned. With two German shepherds standing between him and freedom, he decided the safest course of action was to summon the police. The actual 911 recordings make an already ridiculous situation even better. Then, a listener shares an unforgettable cautionary tale involving a severe sunburn, a catastrophic mix-up with muscle balm, some extremely unfortunate towel placement, and an innocent attempt to find relief that earned him the lifelong nickname "Tripod." Finally, two Utah roommates decide to test whether it's possible to dodge a bullet, taking inspiration from The Matrix. What begins as a spectacularly ill-advised experiment ends in tragedy, proving that some questions are better left unanswered. It's another collection of bizarre true stories, spectacularly bad decisions, unexpected consequences, and the kind of human behavior that makes The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth a celebration of questionable judgment. Because sometimes the shallow end is a lot deeper than it looks. Have a story of your own? Email [email protected]. Subscribe, follow, and share The Shallow End wherever you get your podcasts. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Artificial intelligence is supposed to make life easier. Nobody mentioned turning police officers into frogs. In Heber City, Utah, a police department's new AI report-writing software accidentally incorporated dialogue from Disney's The Princess and the Frog, producing an official account in which an officer underwent a rather unexpected amphibious transformation. The technology worked beautifully. Reality was another matter. Meanwhile, a Canadian man returned his Avis rental car after a perfectly ordinary family vacation, only to receive a nearly $5,000 charge for allegedly driving 18,000 miles in one week. That's an average of 107 miles per hour, nonstop, for seven days. Apparently, Avis had invented a vehicle capable of bending the laws of physics. Customer service was somewhat less impressive. This week on The Shallow End, Jethro and Lindsay explore two spectacular examples of technology getting things confidently, expensively wrong. Because sometimes the most dangerous thing in the room is a computer that's absolutely certain it's right. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

The Shallow End Episode 231: Porch Pirate Karma and the Woman Who Declared War on Delivery Robots A porch pirate picks the wrong driveway, and a 78-year-old woman goes to war with the robots. Just another day in the shallow end of the gene pool. First, JG takes us to Mississauga, Ontario, where an attempted package theft becomes a spectacular exercise in instant karma. When a homeowner catches a would-be thief in the act, the suspect makes a desperate escape in his Toyota Yaris—only to back directly into a snowbank. What follows is seven glorious minutes of spinning tires, increasingly desperate decisions, and some surprisingly polite Canadian hospitality. And yes, the whole thing was caught on video. Then Lindsay introduces us to Carolyn Marvin, a retired university professor in Philadelphia who's taken a rather unusual stand against automation. Convinced that autonomous delivery robots are stealing jobs from human workers, she's decided to fight back by standing directly in their path. Her one-woman rebellion against what she calls "sidewalk cyborgs" has attracted police attention, sparked an online debate, and raised some wonderfully absurd questions about the First Amendment. Plus, a listener shares a genuinely terrifying lesson in firearm safety that could have ended very differently. From porch pirate fails and instant karma to delivery robots, bizarre arrests, and questionable decisions, it's another helping of real-life human foolishness served with the usual laughter, disbelief, and occasional good judgment. Welcome to The Shallow End with Schnebly and Toth—where poor decisions make great stories. Got a spectacular lapse in judgment to share? Email us at [email protected]. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A teenage robber walks into a convenience store on Christmas Eve, waves a gun around, and demands money. Unfortunately for him, the man behind the counter has a few surprises of his own. Meanwhile, a Wisconsin woman decides she's going to become a substitute teacher. No credentials. No authorization. No apparent interest in actually teaching. What could possibly go wrong? This week on The Shallow End, Jethro and Lindsay bring you two astonishing true stories of terrible decisions, spectacularly misplaced confidence, and consequences nobody saw coming. First, it's Christmas Eve 2017 in Leicester, England, where a cocky 17-year-old armed robber decides to terrorize a neighborhood convenience store just before closing time. What he doesn't know is that the store's owner, a father of two, happens to be a trained karate black belt. Within seconds, the would-be criminal discovers that threatening the wrong person can lead to a very long night on the floor of a grocery store. It's a spectacular case of instant karma, complete with flying potato chips, a desperate plea for mercy, and a Christmas miracle nobody ordered. Then, we head to Milwaukee, Wisconsin, where a 23-year-old woman allegedly walks into her former high school and convinces administrators she's a substitute teacher. Once inside the classroom, her bizarre behavior leaves students stunned and parents furious. Racial insults, inappropriate questions, and an astonishing explanation for why she did it all turn this case of fake teacher impersonation into a serious school security scandal. Plus, a listener shares the unforgettable story of a backyard sword fight that went horribly wrong, proving once again that live weapons, amateur reenactments, and The Phantom of the Opera are not necessarily a winning combination. Armed robbery gone wrong. Instant karma. Fake teachers. Backyard sword fighting. It's another trip into the shallow end of the gene pool, where questionable judgment meets painfully predictable consequences. Join Jethro and Lindsay for The Shallow End, the comedy podcast celebrating real people making spectacularly bad decisions. Make good choices. Your life might depend on it. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices