Penny Men

The Penny Men are still trapped in Ben's apartment — or possibly Skywalker Ranch 2: Special Edition — and discover George Lucas has been hiding a Wookie jar, a Red Tails podcast, and several unproduced sequels to Strange Magic! Meanwhile, Ben, Tom, and Gregory try to remember the entire Star Wars Expanded Universe from memory, covering:Cindel Tawani’s journalism careerLuke’s secret ooze girlfriendAnd Cade Skywalker’s death stick problem!Along the way, the boys accidentally pitch: A live-action Jetsons movieA Street Fighter reboot starring Jack BlackAnd the new Penny Men format: “Draw From the Phantom Jar”!Featuring guest appearances by George Lucas, Admiral Sushi Bar, and Yuck Yuck Binks!

The Penny Men continue their 24-hour Star Wars binge and quickly lose track of time, space, and pizza delivery etiquette! George Lucas lurks in the cornerWatto and Jar Jar fight for stage timeSomehow a Hungry Howie’s girl sneaks into The Skywalker RanchGreg and Tom debate the video game canon (Knights of the Old Republic, Battlefront, Rogue Squadron)Ben orders a pizza mid-recordingAnd everyone wrestles with the Legacy of the Force novels, Fate of the Jedi, and why every Skywalker has to lose an arm!Along the way: Chuck E. Cheese rebrands itself as Pasqually’sMace "I Don’t Do Windows" is bornAnd Earth, Wind & Fire nearly become canon!It’s the Star Wars Expanded Universe like you’ve never heard it before — live from the bar that never closes, with blue milk on tap and George Lucas picking toppings off your slice!

The Penny Men return from their longest break yet and find the party at The Skywalker Ranch 2 hasn’t slowed down! Ben, Gregory, and Tom kick things off with a debate over Clueless and the great teen rom-com continuum before sliding back into their booth at the galaxy’s most chaotic cantina! Between dodging E.T.’s stares and Alf’s interruptions, they wrestle with the big question: what’s so great about Star Wars? This week, it’s the Legacy of the Force era:Jason Solo’s visionsBen Skywalker’s trainingBug warsPolitical schismsAnd the shocking possibility that Mara Jade might’ve had a hand in Padmé’s fate!Plus, appearances from George Lucas, Jar Jar's stand-up set, and a cat named KitKat who may or may not be Force-sensitive!

The Penny Men are back, this time broadcasting live from an alien dive bar where the comedy lineup is as unpredictable as the Star Wars Expanded Universe itself! Jar Jar Binks takes the stage as “Yuck Yuck Binks” with a new set of groaners, George Lucas lurks in the corner heckling his own continuity, and Seinfeld barely makes it past the wings! But in between spilled drinks and bad puns, the guys tackle:The New Jedi Order booksThe Yuuzhan Vong invasionChewbacca’s moon-crash deathHan’s midlife crisisMara Jade’s poisoningAnd Jason, Jaina, and Anakin Solo being pulled in three very different directions!It’s bird-Jedi philosophies, bio-organic war machines, Luke Skywalker fumbling through Jedi Council leadership, and the fall of Coruscant—all told with the energy of a roast battle gone off the rails!Grab your desserts (Chew-baklava, anyone?) and settle in for the chaos!

Welcome back to The Penny Men, live (sort of) from what used to be Ben’s apartment and is now apparently an alien supper club, nightclub, and George Lucas vanity project!There’s a line out the door, Jar Jar Binks is headlining under his new stage name Yuck Yuck Binks, and Dexter Jettster is threatening to spit in our drinks! In between ordering orange whips and dodging chandeliers themed after Alderaan, your three hosts try their best to recap the entire Star Wars saga in chronological order!Featuring: The ancient Republic and Darth Bane’s Rule of TwoQui-Gon Jinn sassAnakin’s immaculate conception conspiracyThe Clone Wars Red Dwarf fan recommendationsAnd every era of the galaxy far, far away! Along the way we:Complain about too many Jedi surviving Order 66Debate who belongs on the Mount Rushmore of Star WarsRevive Bubsy (again)And discover the hidden comedy album of Jar Jar Binks!It’s history, it’s chaos, it’s a nightclub floor show!What’s so great about Star Wars? George might say “money,” but we’re here to figure out the rest!

It’s the Revenge of the Sith episode of The Penny Men, and somehow it’s also amateur night at the George Lucas Comedy Club! We came here to do a clean, straightforward lightning-round recap of Episode III, but between Yakko Warner singing Gilbert & Sullivan, surprise Animaniacs geography lessons, and Jar Jar Binks insisting on his own Gungan stand-up routine, we’re barely making it through the plot!Still, in between the bad puns and Ewok waiters pitching Dulok spinoffs, we actually do cover the big stuff: Anakin gets promoted to “spy on everybody” dutyObi-Wan gets stuck with lizard-riding and robot-coughingYoda takes a detour to the Wookiee planetMace Windu takes a flying lesson courtesy of Palpatine’s force lightningThe Jedi Council is suspiciousPadmé is worriedAnd Anakin is somehow convinced that the best way to save his wife is to join the guy who looks like melted candle wax!It’s our Revenge of the Sith breakdown as only The Penny Men could do it: part recap, part roast, part variety show hosted by George himself!If we survive this night at the Lucas Lounge, maybe we’ll actually finish Star Wars!

The Penny Men return for their 15th episode—this time with a live audience, three Orange Whips on the table, and a floor show courtesy of none other than Jar Jar Binks himself!George Lucas has turned Ben’s apartment into some kind of intergalactic supper club, complete with menus, Metro D security at the door, and a rotating cast of aliens, droids, and forgotten Expanded Universe icons drifting through the crowd! While Jabba tries to squeeze into a booth and Droopy McCool pretends he’s booked, our hosts press on with their ambitious mission: breaking down Revenge of the Sith, the sixth Star Wars film (eighth if you’re really counting), and the long-awaited turn of Anakin Skywalker!Along the way, they talk Clone Wars cartoonsDark Horse comicsQuinlan Vos, Aayla Secur And the rise of General Grievous!They relive Elevator shaft mishapsCount Dooku’s last standAnd R2-D2’s questionable fire-based comedy routine!And all the while, Jar Jar keeps barging back in with his own set of Gungan one-liners, trying to turn the podcast into a late-night show! Will our hosts make it through the first ten minutes of the movie before the floor show takes over completely? Or will George Lucas buy another apartment just to keep the party going?It’s chaos, it’s comedy, and it’s Star Wars history—served with extra Jawa-made java burgers!

There are a lot of Star Wars movies, folks, and we’re doing them all! This is hour two of our deep-dive into Attack of the Clones, the alleged favorite of George Lucas himself (is that true? we may never know)! Your hosts — Wicket W. Warwick, Figurine Dan, and Droopy McCool — are joined, as always, by unexpected guests who somehow keep breaking into the studio! Lock the door, guys!In this installment, the Penny Men (or Penny Guys, or the Larry Fine Fan Club, depending on the moment) tackle everything from Anakin’s Tusken Raider massacre to Obi-Wan’s asteroid belt chase, from the Coliseum cat-fight to Yoda’s surprisingly spry lightsaber duel!Along the way, they: Debate Padmé’s questionable dating choicesReimagine droid factory slapstick with “Yakety Sax” Mourn the fate of poor JangoAnd chart the rise of everyone’s favorite secret Sith puppetmaster: Jar Jar Binks!Also on the docket: Kenan & Kel cameos that never wereMace Windu almost dropping the F-bombThe logic of C-3PO’s detachable headTrilogies within trilogiesAnd the eternal truth that all Star Wars stories eventually become toy commercials!It’s chaos, it’s canon, and it’s everything George never wanted you to hear — live from the 64-bit avant-garde cast!

🎙️ The Penny Men are back in a galaxy far, far away, but this time it’s the prequels — brighter, clunkier, and full of baffling Jedi logic! Gregory, Tom, and Ben dive into The Phantom Menace, where podracing rules, Sith reveal themselves with double-bladed sabers, and young Anakin is either the Chosen One or just a kid with a Slipknot-style slave bomb in his neck! Then it’s on to Attack of the Clones, featuring awkward romance, Obi-Wan playing hardboiled space detective, and an entire clone army signed off without a single Jedi reading the fine print! And of course, George Lucas himself drops by the studio to defend battle droids, sleep on the couch, and remind everyone that Jar Jar was essential to his “vision!”

The Penny Men return to Tatooine, where things are as sandy, strange, and slave-collared as ever! Qui-Gon Jinn is out here negotiating with Watto like he’s on Pawn Stars, waving Republic credits around while the Toydarian tells him to take a hike! Padmé, meanwhile, is doing her best “shocked princess” impression straight out of The Hidden Fortress as Shmi lays out how slavery works on this backwater desert planet!We get the grand tour of Anakin’s life: His pod racerHis gang of child friends (who might or might not include a proto-Greedo)And of course the legendary introduction of “Naked C-3PO,” the most merchandise-ready moment in cinematic history!You’ve never truly lived until you’ve seen Anthony Daniels without his golden shell!Then it’s time for the main event: the podrace! Part Ben-Hur, part Nintendo 64 loading screen, part live-action Wacky Races with Sebulba throwing banana peels and fireballs at a ten-year-old! Greg Proops is there as a two-headed announcer, Jabba the Hutt is briefly conscious long enough to wave at the crowd, and George Lucas is off-screen mumbling, “This will make the kids scream!”Between laps, Qui-Gon is running blood tests and muttering about midichlorians, casually dropping the bomb that Anakin’s got a higher power level than anyone—including Yoda! Is it Dragon Ball Z? Is it dog police? Is it the immaculate conception subplot nobody asked for? All of the above!Meanwhile, on Coruscant, the Galactic Senate is revealed to be the least cinematic thing possible: Thousands of floating beanbag chairsToo many fish-faced ambassadorsAnd Palpatine’s first big move toward becoming Emperor!Jar Jar accidentally sets himself on the road to political office, and the word “democracy” has never sounded shakier!But we’re not done—because the movie’s not done: Padmé reveals she was the Queen all alongThe Gungans get drafted into a war they didn’t wantAnd somewhere in the shadows Darth Maul is revving his motorcycle lightsaber, ready to crash the whole party!It’s a podrace, it’s a senate hearing, it’s a prophecy, it’s a red velvet cake of bad decisions: this is The Phantom Menace, Penny Men style!

The Penny Men return, but they’re not alone! George Lucas has crashed the recording yet again, dragging Jabba, Seinfeld, and half of the extended muppet-verse into Ben’s apartment!They swear this time it’s going to be an “official” episode, but between Ewoks in the guest room, Christopher Walken wandering the halls, and Jar Jar trying to grab the mic, it’s hard to tell where the party ends and the podcast begins!Somehow, though, Tom and Greg actually dive into The Phantom Menace! They break down:Trade disputesThe Gungan life-debt clauseBoss Nass’ bongoAnd Weird Al’s clairvoyant songwriting!George offers “notes” from the kitchen while frosting a nine-layer cake, Jar Jar insists he’s the best part of the movie, and Chris for sure has some strong feelings about toasters!Topics covered include:Did anyone really want the Special Editions, or was it just the toy companies?The hype machine of 1999: Pepsi cans, Taco Bell, and endless waiting in line!When exactly George decided Star Wars needed prequels!Which camp counselor from Camp Candy could actually talk to animals!Why there are always bigger fish!It’s the prequel trilogy kickoff you never asked for but definitely deserve!Naboo is under attack, the Penny Men are under siege, and the only thing more confusing than trade negotiations is why George keeps bringing up Patch Adams!

This week on The Penny Men, Ben, Tom, and Gregory pry open the carbonite-sealed vault of Star Wars Legends—because somebody had to suffer so you don’t have to! We start by debating the lost art of fight pacing, from kung fu cinema’s lightning kicks to wrestling’s slow-burn feuds, and how those ideas crash-land into the galaxy far, far away! Then we hit hyperspace into the weirdest corners of the Expanded Universe, where the rules of canon are made up and the names are blue!Topics:Grand Admiral Thrawn makes his big brain debutMara Jade shows up to make everyone nervousHan Solo accidentally wins an entire planet in a card gameLuke falls in love with a computer (sure)Emperor Palpatine refuses to stay dead—coming back not once, not twice, but so many times you start rooting for the guy!We talk about:The Sun Crusher (a ship that’s somehow stronger than the Death Star)The Force witches of DathomirAnd the questionable fashion choices of 1990s sci-fi art!Expect tangents about Remington SteeleZorroJohn BravoThe Courtship of Luke’s Sister (oops)And why every clone has to spell their name with an extra “u!”It’s lore overload, but we’re doing it for you! Buckle up as the Penny Men wrestle with the wildest Expanded Universe stories ever printed—because once you’ve stared into the abyss of Legends, the abyss starts quoting Timothy Zahn back at you!

Welcome one, welcome all, to What’s So Great About Star Wars?, the 64-bit avant-garde cast starring your Penny Men hosts in full obscure-character cosplay: Bib Fortuna, Salacious Crumb, and… Koopa? Sure, why not!The Penny Men—past, present, future; now and forever—are here for Episode 86, and yes, that number is totally on purpose (don’t fact-check us)! Why? Because this week, we’re diving into the most unexpected corners of the galaxy: Ewoks: The Battle for Endor!If you thought Caravan of Courage was wild, buckle up!We’ve got it all:Orphaned kids and talking teddy bearsSpace marauders who barely understand their own technologyA shapeshifting witch with raven powers (and questionable motives)Wilford Brimley as a grumpy old hermit who bakes muffins and owns a secret spaceshipStop-motion creatures, awkward musical interludes, and a song about stars that might haunt your dreamsAn actual battle (sort of) for Endor, complete with traps, moats, and marauders falling on their buttsPlus, we ask the hard questions:Why kill off Mace five minutes in? Did George Lucas really write this? How fast can Teek run? And how does this all fit in with Star Wars canon—or does it?Grab your slingshot, prep your hang glider, and join us as we decide once and for all: Is Ewoks II better than Caravan of Courage, or just a fever dream sponsored by oatmeal?

“Ewoks, Droids, and the Forgotten Star Wars Cartoons”Before Baby Yoda, before Clone Wars, there was… a galaxy far, far away that woke up early on Saturday mornings! That’s right—we’re talking Ewoks and Droids, the animated sidequests of Star Wars that aired in the mid-’80s and somehow lived in the deep recesses of your VHS tapes!This week, The Penny Men grab a bowl of sugary cereal, kick back on the carpet, and dive into:The Nelvana Era: Why the animation looks so Canadian and what that says about George Lucas’s choicesTheme Song Fever: From Ewok singalongs to Droids’ weird synth intro that sounds like your cousin’s garage band in 1985Economics of Endor: How the Ewoks somehow mastered barter systems and guerrilla warfareThe Droid Adventures: C-3PO and R2-D2 wandering into pulp sci-fi trouble with villains like Kaibo Ren (yes, before Kylo stole his thunder)Deep Cuts & Fun Facts:Alison Court (yes, the voice of Jubilee from X-Men: The Animated Series) pops up as MilaniWhy Boba Fett keeps showing up like he’s checking in on the wrong showHow this was all technically canon… until it wasn’tThe Big Question: Were these cartoons charming Star Wars world-building or a fever dream Lucas had during a sugar crash?Plus: Weird triviaEmbarrassing theme song singalongsAnd us trying to figure out if this was better than the Holiday Special (spoiler: yes, but only slightly)!Strap in for a nostalgia trip through a corner of the galaxy most fans pretend doesn’t exist—but we went there, and we brought receipts!

The Penny Men are back—and this time, we’ve crash-landed on Endor (and maybe in a Kmart toy aisle circa 1985)! Join us as we dive headfirst into the Ewok era, that magical post-Return of the Jedi time when Lucasfilm said, “No lightsabers? No problem!” and gave us a pair of made-for-TV epics, an Ewok cartoon, and a reason to learn Ewokese without subtitles!This episode is a nostalgic hyperspace jump through the parts of Star Wars you probably forgot, featuring:Caravan of Courage and Battle for Endor – Why these TV movies existed, what they got right (Gorax design, practical FX), and how Burl Ives somehow ended up narrating both Ewoks and Frosty the Snowman!The Great Canon Debate – Movies, holiday specials, Ewok cartoons, Marvel comics, coloring books, trading cards, and novels! What counts? What doesn’t? Does Steve Sansweet control the entire galaxy of lore from his Skywalker Ranch vault?The Origin of “Mary Sue” – A quick detour to Star Trek fanzines, the most polite insult ever invented, and how it became the internet’s favorite hot-button topic!The Toys That Made Us (and Ruined Our Budgets) – From Kmart clearance bins to Toys R Us holy grails, we share the action figures that started wars in our households! (Hint: no one wanted Gonk Droid, but someone always got stuck with him!)Unmade Sequels and Spaceballs Dreams – Why we never got Spaceballs 2: The Search for More Money and how that fake poster still haunts our collective nerd brains!Math That Should Never Be Done in Public – Ewok years vs. dog years vs. Wookiee years! What even is time on Endor?Ewokese: A Linguistic Challenge – Why these movies said “subtitles are for cowards” and whether anyone on Earth can actually speak fluent Yub Nub!Also featuring:Warwick Davis appreciation hour (seriously, the man is a legend)!Gorax nightmare fuel that makes Rancors look like puppies!The Caravan of Courage debate: essential viewing or just a bold Lucasfilm tax write-off?It’s equal parts nostalgia trip, canon chaos, and absurd trivia showdown—all wrapped in a cozy Ewok blanket! So press play, grab your favorite vintage action figure, and join us as we celebrate a time when the galaxy far, far away got very, very weird… and wonderful!Yub Nub forever!

Revenge? Return? The Jedi Finale and the Bear That Eats You!The Penny Men have reached the end of the original trilogy, and boy, does this one have everything:Luke Skywalker pulling the old “But what if I can redeem him?” moveObi-Wan serving half-truths and Force ghosts in equal measureTeddy bears winning a war with sticks, logs, and sheer audacityVader’s big redemption arc (and his big egg head reveal)John Williams flexing harder than a Wookiee on Life Day!We cover the good, the goofy, and the galaxy-sized stakes:Why the title changed from Revenge of the Jedi to Return of the JediHow many Bothans really died for this plotEwok traps vs. Imperial tech (and who wins in a fair fight)Luke vs. Vader: the ultimate dad issues showdownThe Emperor’s new lightning trickAnd that ending: fires, fireworks, and Force ghosts!All that plus tangents about: WillowWeird X-Men triviaTarzan-y ChewbaccaAnd a very strong case for Ewok cannibalism! (Write in: Is it cannibalism if they eat stormtroopers?)Grab your medals, bang on some stormtrooper helmets, and join us for the galaxy’s most yub-nub-tastic party!

Welcome back to the galaxy that’s not so far, far away—because it’s happening right now on The Penny Men Podcast! This week, Greg, Ben, and Tom wrap up the Original Trilogy with Return of the Jedi (or should we say Revenge?)! We dive into everything: Jabba’s endless party of pig guardsBlue elephant bandsChains strong enough to strangle a slugLuke’s suspiciously dark new tricksAnd whether Lando is actually doing anything besides accessorizing!Expect tangents as always:What’s the deal with Waldo from the MuppetVision 3D show?Who is Jodo Kast and why is he stealing Boba Fett’s clout?Why were 1980s Marvel comics packed with psychic rabbits, orange fish boys, and porcupine Jedi?And which Looney Tunes crossover would you greenlight first—Skate Jam, Spy Jam, or Punk Jam?Plus, a heartfelt farewell to the greatest puppet death scene of all time! Bring your grappling hook, your Max Rebo playlist, and maybe a rankor snack—because we’re going out to Jabba’s barge in style!

Somehow, The Penny Men returned… to talk about the one Star War that changed everything: The Empire Strikes Back!This week, we go deep—like “Wampa cave-deep”—into the greatest sequel of all time and all the weirdness orbiting it!We’re talking:The Twist Heard ‘Round the Galaxy – How Vader broke Luke’s heart, why the line on set was way different, and which actors were actually told the truth!Empire’s Cliffhanger Chaos – Did George Lucas invent the post-credits sting without even knowing it?Marvel’s Star Wars Comics Gone Wild – Pink-haired Leia rivals! Extra Han Solo knockoffs! Darth Vader’s secret glove backstory!The Shadows of the Empire Hype Machine – A video game, a novel, a toy line… but no movie? (Spoiler: we all owned the Dash Rendar action figure!)Toy Marketing that Brainwashed Us – Kenner’s plastic empire, Lando’s questionable cape fashion, and why your parents still resent the words “Power of the Force!”Expanded Universe Fever Dreams – Han Solo’s smuggling prequels, Lando’s casino adventures, and a planet-sized dose of 80s pulp!Why Return of the Jedi Might Secretly Be the Best – Ewoks vs. Murder Bears, and how Luke almost joined the Dark Side!Bonus Round: RoboCop 3’s Robot Ninjas – We explain why this was both amazing and terrible, and why a jetpack doesn’t always save a franchise!All that, plus: OSHA violations in Cloud CityThe ethics of carbon-freezing your friendsAnd how many dismembered limbs is too many for a family saga!

The Penny Men dive headfirst into the galaxy far, far away—again! This time, Greg, Tom, and Ben chart the weird, wild gap between A New Hope and The Empire Strikes Back! Ever wonder what happened between blowing up the Death Star and Luke freezing his face off on Hoth? Marvel comics, green space rabbits, bizarre British stories (some by Alan Moore?!), and a Life Day celebration you’ll never forget—or forgive!We cover:The Star Wars Holiday Special in all its two-hour glory (Bea Arthur! Boba Fett! Erotic grandpa VR?!)The Christmas album with songs like What Do You Get a Wookiee for Christmas When He Already Owns a Comb?And Splinter of the Mind’s Eye—the book that almost became the sequel!Then it’s on to Empire Strikes Back: Probe droidsWampasForce pullsTow cablesYoda’s grammar lessonsAsteroid wormsAnd the greatest twist in movie history (even if you already know it)!Plus, Greg explains why skeleton warriors made him quit cartoons, Tom defends Bea Arthur’s place in the Star Wars canon, and Greg does his best impression of the song “R2-D2 We Wish You a Merry Christmas!” Spoiler: it’s wonderful!

The Penny Men blast off for a Star Wars: A New Hope breakdown… and promptly crash into a pile of weird trivia, bad action figures, and an uncomfortable amount of Jar Jar content!Highlights include:Why Biggs Darklighter is the best character who never matteredThe tragedy of Porkins (and his cursed name)Chewbacca’s medal snub: speciesism or simple oversight?Deleted scenes you didn’t know existed (Luke had friends??)Special Editions: who asked for more dewbacks?That horrifying Jar Jar Binks candy with the sticky tongueLEGO Star Wars specials, Ewok cartoons, and a brief flirtation with SpaceballsThe best and worst Star Wars deaths (hint: RIP Greedo’s dignity)!Come for the commentary, stay for the chaos! Punch it, Chewie!🎧 Listen now wherever you get your podcasts!