Magellans at the Movies

As the people in my basement will tell you, in hostage situations as in parties, your host is often the difference between a legendary, all night rager and a brief, unpleasant excursion sure to end in tragedy. Remember: as the one with the gun, you are responsible for the comfort, health, and restraints of your guests, and it takes a sharp, compassionate mind to juggle these responsibilities. Without these factors in mind, things can go south fast, as evidenced by the quirky kidnapping at the heart of Bugonia, a 2025 comedy thriller directed by Yorgos Lanthimos and based on Save the Green Planet! By Jang Jonn-Hwan. Bugonia combines Yorgos’ usual idiosyncratic stylings with a somewhat more accessible narrative than his past outings, which may explain the movie’s success. As of writing, Bugonia has been nominated for multiple Oscars, and enjoys warm feelings from critics and audiences alike. But what is the temperature of those other idiosyncratic men with strange surnames: Nathan and Elliot Magalhães of Magellans at the Movies? To answer that and many other questions no one is asking, join us on today’s new episode as Lanthimos superfan Nathan and Lanthimos skeptic Elliot explore the Goofy Ghastly Greek’s latest fever dream. Brush up on your Andromedan and shave your head, let’s hit the basement! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

How many times has it been said? In order to navigate life, you simply must keep a good head on your shoulders. To be fair, this advice makes perfect sense: without a head on your shoulders, you’re sure to both look very silly, make very poor decisions, and be very dead. Or at least that is the lesson of Hereditary, a 2018 horror movie directed by Ari Aster and featuring a cult for whom people walking around with their heads attached is the very height of indecency. This decapitation-obsessed chiller made a big splash on release, terrifying audiences and guaranteeing Aster’s career for years to come, but now that the hype has had almost a decade(!) to cool down, what is there to be made of Hereditary? To find the answer to that and many other pointless questions, join us on today’s brand new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Grab your epi-pen and avoid the cake just to be safe, let’s do it to it! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, nerds of all ages, welcome to Magellans at the Movies Film Fight Night! We have an electrifying match for you this evening: a contest that has been raging across fandom for decades, a question that has divided geeks into two factions of noble warriors doing battle on message boards in the name of their preferred champion, a smackdown between two of the most famous, most celebrated, most prolific characters in all of science fiction, that's right Trekkies, for one night only Magellans at the Movies will be an arena in which Captains Kirk and Picard will go head-to-head in a contest for the title of Ultimate Enterprise Captain World Champion! In this corner we have the gallant and committed leader of men, seducer of women, merciful sparer of Gorns, and triumphant winner of a thousand poorly choreographed brawls across the stars, let's hear it for James T. Kirk! And his challenger, the Bald Burly Brit (who's actually supposed to be French), the man who became a Borg and lived to tell the tale, the man who defended and befriended an android, the man for whom surrender is a four letter word, give it up for Jean Luc Picard! Each captain will be represented by their standout film, for Kirk the gratifying, satisfying, Spock-killing, man-thrilling, space dictator spilling classic The Wrath of Khan! Don't pop the champagne yet, though, Kirk fans, because first he'll have to best Picard as he embarks on a time-travelling cyborg-slaughterfest chiller, thriller, all warp and no filler First Contact! Ladies and gentlemen, affix your universal translator, set your phasers to fun, and beam up with Nathan and Elliot as they travel at warp nine where millions have gone before on a journey of excitement, laughter, and tears through the very heights of the Star Trek franchise on film and plant their flags for either Shatner or Stewart! Energize! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Books! Books are great. They’re transportive and informative; they make you look real smart if you “accidentally” leave them out where they’re sure to be seen before guests arrive (“good heavens, I’ve left my copy of 2666 in the original Spanish in the freezer, oh silly me!”). Of course, refrigerating classic literature you’ve definitely never read is on the brighter side of the utility of books; they can also be used for sinister purposes. Indeed, the conflict over whether to use books for good or ill is at the heart of today’s episode of Magellans at the Movies where we’ll be reviewing The Book of Eli, a 2010 post-apocalyptic western directed by the Hughes brothers. This sepia-toned popcorn flick isn’t talked about much these days, having received mixed reviews and mediocre cash, but is its obscurity warranted, or is this a diamond in the rough of early-2000s generic action slop? Hold close to the Good Book and grab your sunglasses as we delve into the wasteland to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Is season five of Stranger Things good? Well, stranger things have happened! Now that you’re done keeling over with hysterical laughter at that hilarious joke, please join Magellans at the Movies as they review the inexplicably long series finale of Netflix’s golden goose. Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

What an utterly terrible year 2025 has been. People are angry, depressed, and hopelessly ensnared in economic woes, and Europe is doing an alarmingly accurate throwback cosplay of the continent’s 1913 political situation. For all desiring an escape from the bleak headlines and bleaker forecasts, however, there were still movies in this the two thousand and twenty fifth year of our Lord, some of them quite good. There were sleeper hits like Sinners and very much wakeful flops like Thunderbolts, Snow White, Mickey 17, Captain America, and . . . just so many more. Still, we all know (I hope) that money hardly equates with quality, and there were plenty of excellent smaller films that came out this year, some of which may be on the Magellans at the Movies 2025 year in review! Join us today as we talk about the best, the worst, and the most anticipated movies we’ve seen and heard about in 2025, not to mention a cheeky book or video game recommendation here and there. Grab some hot chocolate and go heavy on the marshmallows as Nathan and Elliot look back on the year that was and forward at the year to come in our brand new episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Stand by me. If that's something I ever say to you, be aware that I have likely been replaced by an alien clone. Of course, I’m the odd one here. Proximity, and the intimacy implied therein are highly valued among many people, especially watchers of Stand By Me, the 1986 coming of age classic directed by Rob Reiner and based on The Body by Stephen King. This sweet, simple movie about friendship and boyhood along a morbid quest has been a favorite with critics and audiences since release, but what will become of all the walking, talking, and gawking when submitted for approval by the heckling grouches of Magellans at the Movies? Do you want to see a podcast? You can’t, but you can listen to one on today’s brand new episode! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Ah, to be alive in the 1900s, 1910s, 1920s, 1930s, 1940s, and 1950s. When the global power of communism reached its absolute zenith, just about everyone in the world had to team up to forcibly administer Germany two successive chill pills, and the war to end all wars failed its stated purpose. Lots of important stuff happened during the first half of the twentieth century, but here at Magellans at the Movies, we don't talk about important stuff, we talk about movies. Cinema was a very young art form during this time, and some of the most influential movies were made by some of the most influential people as the filmic medium matured. With so many movies across such a long span of time, though, how could anyone know where to start? Perhaps, dear reader, with the official Magellans at the Movies list of the top ten movies of 1900-1959! That's right, folks, we're wrapping up our decade ranking endeavor with a mammoth episode dedicated to consolidating some of the greatest, most iconic movies in the history of cinema down to a list of ten greats. We will bury you in classic movies, so spread the word over there, here, and everywhere that the episode is about to begin! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

There’s nothing quite like a night at the theater. Taking in Shakespeare from within a few hundred to a few dozen feet of the actual, living actors is just a different experience to seeing them from behind the editing and pausability of a film. Haven’t you ever wondered, though, what happens behind the curtain? In high school, it was mostly fart jokes and giggling about who was kissing who in the play, but in the more mature world of professional theater, it’s mostly snappy dialogue and fuming about who is kissing who outside the play. And, I assume, fart jokes. There’s no light being made of flatulence in All About Eve, the 1950 drama directed by Joseph Mankiewicz, but there is a very beloved movie. In fact, this fable of age and ambition is often considered to be among the best movies of all time. Will Nathan and Elliot arrive at a similar conclusion, or will they once again find themselves at odds with the establishment? Buckle your seatbelts and prepare for a bumpy podcast and let’s find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

RAAAAWR!!! Oh, apologies, I didn’t mean to terrify you with my mighty roar. You see, I was just pretending to be a dinosaur. What silly, brutish creatures they were. How unintelligent, how undeveloped, how incompatible with polite society is the crude dinosaur. Wait, what’s that? Dinosaurs weren’t low beasts, but in fact loved, dreamed, feared, and laughed? Of course! You’re right, how could I have forgotten the sentient dinos of The Land Before Time, a 1988 animated adventure directed by Don Bluth? As any good paleontologist will tell you, this film of legendary scientific accuracy depicts dinosaurs as the lovable and energetic entities they truly were, and although the critics weren’t overly impressed, audiences certainly were. For generations, The Land Before Time and its shockingly expansive media franchise have been a mainstay for young movie watchers, including the hosts of Magellans at the Movies. Join us, then, as Nathan and Elliot go to the prehistoric era, when they were but wee lads and wore their grandparents’ VHS of Land Before Time down to an inert plastic brick. Guard your tree star and watch out for earthshakes, let us embark! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Travel. Doesn’t the very concept just send a shiver down your spine? Sure, it’s nice to be at the Brickworks Museum in beautiful Southampton, England, but getting there is a nightmare of lines, layovers, fares, and odors. Honestly it’s enough to put one off of learning about bricks at the premier institute for global brick study in the first place, but is it enough to put you off getting home for a nice Thanksgiving meal? Certainly not for the heroes of Planes, Trains and Automobiles, a 1987 holiday themed comedy about two mismatched travelers struggling to travel across the midwest. This rare Thanksgiving movie is well liked by critics and audiences alike, and frequently enjoys warm retrospectives. Are its itinerant charms enough to earn the gratitude of Nathan and Elliot? Grab your tickets and pack your bags as we find out on today’s brand new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

You low down dirty rotten scoundrel, I’ll kill you for replacing my cornflakes with a colony of cockroaches! How many times have you heard those words? It’s only natural that when someone is wronged, they desire restitution, sometimes in the form of violent revenge. The next time you play a hilarious prank on someone and they come gunning for you, however, you may wish to show them a film to educate them on the dangers of vengeance. You’ll have quite a lot to choose from, but may we recommend Blue Ruin, a 2013 crime drama directed by Jeremy Saulnier? You probably haven’t heard of this indie flick concerning dead parents, terrible haircuts, and an overwhelming thirst for bloody recriminations, but it earned itself plenty of praise for its unique, minimalistic take on the old “revenge = bad” story. Still not convinced? Then let your old friends from Magellans at the Movies tell you all about it on today’s brand new episode! And if you don’t give the episode five stars, there will be consequences . . . Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Wait! Did you hear that? It was the sound of demonic mischief made as the witching hour unfolds. It was the sound of infernal whispers in the darkness. It was the sound of someone, or something . . . putting mayonnaise in my yogurt?!? Aw come on, that’s just childish! This series of ghostly pranks tells me that I am at the mercy of a very particular breed of hell-sent spirit, a monstrous devil who hates open doors, loves standing, and is extremely camera shy, that’s right, folks, I’ve landed myself on the bad side of the demon from Paranormal Activity! For those not in the know, this rascally wraith first appeared in the Orin Peli-directed found footage movie that released in 2007 and changed the horror game for years to come. This ultra-low budget indie film about a couple recording their supernatural torment scared the bejeezus out of audiences on release, made mountains of cash, and spawned a series that’s . . . wait, seven movies long? Good heavens, with a franchise long-tail like that, the first movie must be something worth talking about, right? I certainly hope so because that’s what we’ll be doing on today’s brand new episode of Magellans at the Movies! Turn on your cameras and don’t stop recording; let’s find out what lurks in the small hours of the night . . . Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

“Hey, Steve, how’s work going on that calendar?” “Oh, hey, Barry. It's going all right, but aren’t you worried this is a little vague?”“Whatever do you mean, Steve?”“Well, what if we haven’t been clear enough about the meaning of the Long Count calendar, and in the future people misunderstand our dating system as prophesying the end of the world?”“Oh, Steve, don't be silly. You’d have to be into some pretty weird New Age beliefs to think that.”“I suppose you’re right, Barry. Say, isn’t it weird how we ancient Mayans have modern English names?”“What’s an English?” Ha ha ha, aren’t they funny, ladies and gents? Anyway, today we’ll be reviewing 2012, a 2009 apocalyptic disaster film directed by Roland Emmerich. Enjoy! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Wizards have a long history, not just in movies, but in fiction generally. Whether they’re running a class action lawsuit just waiting to happen in the form of a deathtrap boarding school, going on road trips to return some seriously defective jewelry, or burning things at random to punctuate each sentence, audiences everywhere delight in sorcerers of screen, page, and stage. Fictional wizards (as opposed to real wizards, of course) could also come in the form of a de facto monarch lording over an enclave of green structures erected in his own selfish image, exchanging favors for the assassination of his geopolitical enemies with random strangers. I’m talking, of course, about the titular magic man of The Wizard of Oz, a 1939 family musical directed by Victor Fleming and based on The Wonderful Wizard of Oz by L. Frank Baum. The Wizard of Oz is beloved, that’s plain to see from its frequent top honors on best-of movie lists, and has dazzled millions of children the world over, but can it withstand the modern cynicism of two men brought up in the torrid fires of the 21st century? Load your squirt gun and wave Kansas goodbye as we join cynics Nathan and Elliot on Magellans at the Movies to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Stand back, coppers, I've got a brainwashed child and I'm not afraid to use it! How many times have you heard that phrase barked from the mouths of bank robbers and rum runners? In the past few months, I know there's not a day that goes by in Kansas City without the sight of gangs aiming military-grade elementary schoolers at each other in tense standoffs. This sudden arsenal of adolescents is, in my opinion, attributable mainly to people misunderstanding the point of Weapons, a 2025 horror movie directed by Zach Cregger. After all, this spine-tingling story of the kids being very much not all right proved to be a surprise summer hit, earning all involved heaps of cash and reams of glowing reviews, but all that celebrating was, of course, premature, since Magellans at the Movies hadn't had their say yet. Today that changes, and the final word on rising horror darling Cregger's latest chiller will be handed down. Will this seal Weapons' ascent into genre divinity, or will the film be sent running into the dark like a kid trying to bodily recreate the outline of that one Star Wars ship? Hide your hair and grab your bell, let's find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

You sleep through your alarm on the day of your big presentation, you leave your wallet at home the one day you decide to push the speed limit, your dad’s human illegal exotic pet empire gets dismantled and the proceeds reclaimed at the very moment you need money for bond, the bomb you intended for the alarm clock company as vengeance for their substandard products explodes in your hand leaving you with quite a bit of egg, and your own arm, on your face; my friends, it truly is one battle after another. Thankfully, while you wait for your richly deserved sentence to be handed down, you can still take your mind off of your troubles at the movies, though for those of us who are feeling like if it’s not one thing, it’s a daggone ‘nother, Paul Thomas Anderson’s latest flick, One Battle After Another, kinda sorta loosely based-ish on Vineland by Thomas Pynchon, might not be distracting so much as magnifying. That’s because this 2025 political/satirical thriller is all about the relentless onslaught of being a former revolutionary trying to raise a daughter in an authoritarian near-future America, and while it may not be relaxing, it is certainly acclaimed. Frankly, that word doesn’t fully explain just how euphorically this film has been received by critics, but the Guardians, New Yorkers, and Chicago Sun-Timeses are easy pickings, earning a kind word from Magellans at the Movies? Now that’s a feat worth putting on the DVD case. Will this kooky caper be able to pull off such a coup? Grab your AK and don your bonnet rouge and let’s find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Moving on can be hard for many reasons, but for those of us leaving behind disinterested parents, monthslong torture, and the deaths of most everyone we care about, consigning most of our lives to memory lane is more than welcome. I, for example, yearn to relocate to a remote village in the Alps and thereby escape the many obligations I've accumulated to the wealthy investors in my "dog to human translation" company, but that's a silly example. For a more serious case, look no further than Jesse Pinkman's mission to get the heck out of Dodge/Albuquerque as seen in El Camino: A Breaking Bad Movie, a 2019 crime drama directed by Vince Gilligan. This brief coda to the central narrative of Breaking Bad, released midway through Better Call Saul's run, was hardly the object of scorn, but never quite got the same stratospheric acclaim as its parent shows, and is more than likely in third place on most fans' Breaking Bad universe rankings. Where will it land on the lists of Breaking Bad fans Nathan and Elliot Magellan? Yo, start the episode to find out, b****.Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

A star is born. Not because a mommy star and a daddy star loved each other very much, or even because a clump of matter and gas collapsed under its own gravity (I think), but because a person has a talent for singing which they perform for a wide listening audience. What transpires across the lifespan of our newborn star has historically varied, but common themes include substance abuse, fraught relationships, and, if they're very lucky, Oscars. I'm talking, of course, about the 2018 musical romance A Star is Born, directed by Bradley Cooper. This melodic melodrama was favored by critics and audiences alike, who swooned for its hot stars and earworm-packed soundtrack, but Magellans at the Movies are made of sterner stuff. Will they be won over by all the kissing and the crooning, or will their review be a song of only sour notes? Maybe it's time to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/

Oh no! There’s been a glitch in the matrix, forcing the Wachowskis to reload their save! Thankfully they’ve backed up their data and can proceed with the first of two planned sequels wrapping up the original Matrix trilogy. The Matrix Reloaded, like so many sequels, tries to follow up a groundbreaking first installment by embodying a single word: more. More elaborate kung fu fisticuffs, more Agent Smiths, more convoluted philosophizing, more whisper-talk, and of course, much more latex. The result is a dense, action-packed, confusing, and slightly kinky middle act that, while hardly an object of derision, is generally agreed to suffer from the shadow of its older brother. It is also a movie that Nathan has never seen, despite enjoying the classic first Matrix. Will he find more favor in this good-but-not-great sophomore outing, or will he reject the code and find freedom, and entertainment, elsewhere? Jack in to find out! Contact us/Requests/Questions: MagellansMovies@gmail.comDonate: https://paypal.me/magellensmovies?country.x=US&locale.x=en_USCheck out our blog for more reviews and movie content!!! https://magellansatthemoviesblog.blogspot.com/