Cage Match: A Roundabout Way of Meeting Nicolas Cage
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© The Hench Club Podcast Network 2024
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64 Nicolas Cage movies go head to head to ultimately answer the question, "What is the best Nic Cage movie of all time?" Face/Off vs Jiu Jitsu, Gone in 60 Seconds vs Ghost Rider: Spirit of Vengeance, Raising Arizona vs Trapped in Paradise, Pig vs Left Behind, Willy’s Wonderland vs Snake Eyes. Two Cages enter, one Cage leaves. This is Cage Match.
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Hot damn, it's a NEW, in theaters, Nic Cage movie. Lotfy (totally not Lofty) Nathan's new movie about the Infancy Gospel of Thomas, kinda, and exploring the life and times of angsty teen Jesus. Oh wait, sorry, "The Boy". Nic Cage plays a SoCal style father figure while FKA Twigs purses her lips really hard. Will Nick keep his oath? Are devils chickens? Mouthy ones only today. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Oh lord, here we go. It's another animated Cage movie. This time by the studio that brought the horrid eyesore Jimmy Neutron to life. So of course we end up talking about Orson Welles and ant magic instead. Oh, and grandmas fuck now. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
The most important lesson here is that if you're ever feeling like the cock of the walk after winning your first hand of gin...maybe don't get right into your car. We're obviously talking Sonny this episode. Nic Cage's one and only directing attempt. You have to deal with some James Franco face, but it might be worth it. Keep it in your pants, Halloween Ted. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Get ready to jig and reverse jig your way to debtor's prison...because we're talking Christmas Carol: The Movie...and no, it's not the Zemeckis 3d diarrhea one. We're joined by four time Cage Match guest, Shey, to deep dive into mice in films, chains and The Holiday. Come and be visited by our three horrible specters. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Alright, Baby, pre-moisten those lollipops because we're in for a ride. It's Christopher Coppola's 1993 Deadfall! A movie about criss cross double crosses that star Michael Biehn calls one of his worst movies ever. We're joined by friend, Joey "The Smoke" to try and unpack one of Cage's wildest performances. Wig? Check. Fake nose? Check. Weird voice? Fuck yes, check. This is Cage Match.
Hooooooo, boy. Time for some early 90's race relations in a surprisingly funny comedy starring Nic Cage and Samuel L Jackson. Cage Dancer Freeman joins us to review one of just five movies by E. Max Frye. This 1993 movie has a stacked cast, some quality comedic payoffs, a very good dog, and some incredibly inept cops. Grab your weird sex gear, white people...This is Cage Match
You're either on Team Scorpion or Team Apache....guess where Nick falls this week as we review 1990's Fire Birds. A super dry clone of Top Gun with no beach volleyball and teeth clacking, other than Tommy Lee Jones when he gets his
Alright ding-a-lings, let’s get ready for some car crash, stranded in the desert antics! Here’s a 27 second cameo by Cage in an oddly star studded debut flick by Adam Rifkin. Obviously it’s Never on Tuesday, the direct to VHS masterpiece about trying to turn a lesbian straight (it was the 80’s). Have your tallest lady friend carry you off into your fantasies. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Move over, A Time to Kill, because here comes 1989's Italian invasion of Ethiopia war drama: Time to Kill. In matching all other summaries of this movie, I also will tell you little. Grab your nearest BuzzBallz® and get ready for an unreliable narrator: us. This is Cage Match
Grab your nearest coxswain and come learn how to stroke with special guest, Hayden! We're obviously talking about the greasiest butt movie Cage has ever done: The Boy in Blue. Cage plays Ned Hanlon but how does he do in this 1989 Canadian hero biopic? Eh....but at least he is incredibly ripped this time. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Grab your high-waisted pants and suspenders and come find out what's in the bugle case because we're reviewing Francis Ford Coppola's 1984 The Cotton Club. Our boy plays a slightly unhinged gangster in Coppola's ode to tap, black performers, and crime dramas. Call your gun-moll and pull up a cuck chair, this is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Rusty James. Put your horns on because Fang, Fang, Fang and Scratchers dive deep into the moody, 1983 Francis Ford Coppola film, Rumble Fish. In an undeniably nepo role, Cage isn't given much to work with but still shines some true character. Grab some chocolate milk and get ready for our next business idea. This is Cage Match...Rusty James.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Happy almost Flag Day, y'all but especially to you, Judge Reinhold. We're kicking off season 3 of Cage Match with a highschool sex romp barely featuring our boy, Nic. So join us while we bag on Sony Marvel movies and talk Dogma and occasionally praise Mr. Hand. This is Cage Match!Intro music by: Bill Panks
And so we have arrived at the grand conclusion of Cage Match: The Podcast: The Game. Our four Cage's face off against some tricky foes, stupid puzzles, an alarming amount of times of Producer Peter saying "grievous damage". Darryl Edge and Alec Manley Wilson join us as we enter (hopefully) the Emerald City. Will the boys get to the bottom of the mystery? Will they make it home? All this and more...this is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Come eat the rat with us...and discover if calling someone a kook will get us cancelled in Australia. We got a chance to see Nic Cage and director Lorcan Finnegan's newest mind-bending film, The Surfer. Join us as we try to unravel what is real and fake. Things we know: don't drink the poop water and of course don't live here, don't surf here. This is bonus Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Four Nic Cage's are pulled deep into the unseemly belly of the NCU. Cameron Poe, Peter Loew (Darryl Edge), Robin Feld and H.I. McDunnough (Alec Manley Wilson) find themselves in a place both familiar and horrifying. Sweet tap dancing Bobby Peru, you're in for a treat. It's bizarro table top RPG time with Producer Peter as the GM. This is Cage Match...the podcast...the game. Part IGame System: Havoc Brigade by Grant HowittIntro music by: Bill Panks
This episode sponsored by women-owned Buzzballs. Pop on your bandaner and good lord, someone, please give that little girl some more bread and jam. Welcome to bonus Cage Match where we discuss the highs and lows of Nic Cage's newest movie, Gunslingers. Why does Stephen Dorff's hat look like that? Who made custom cross, gradient tinted glasses in the old west, why is Stallone's daughter so bad? This is bonus Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
Producer Peter finally had to watch movies at 1x speed this week for the Cage Match Finale. Pig vs Raising Arizona. Sarnoski vs Coens. Nick vs Sean. We rented a local theater and watched a double header with a full house of guests. As it turns out, movies are fun in a theater. We are not done but this is a perfect time to thank everyone for listening and supporting us over the years. This was Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
It's the Final Fore...skin. And may we never say that phrase again. Nick and Sean thin the movies to our final two leading up to our big finale in theater double header. Con Air vs Raising Arizona, Pig vs Vampire's Kiss. We talk about favorite cults, an excellent foolproof get rich quick scheme, and if vampire's show up on digital cameras..but can we keep it cordial? Listen and find out. This is Cage Match!Intro music by: Bill Panks
Welcome to the almost interesting bonus episode about Joel Schumacher's last film, Trespass. We've got Cage in a suit, we've got dark-haired and moustached Ben Mendelsohn, we've got Nicole Kidman for some reason...Join us in the Bonebooth and learn all about nail guns and lewd sounding movie titles. This is Cage Match.Intro music by: Bill Panks
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