Strangers on the Internet

On this episode, Irina speaks with author Karen Palmer whose recent memoir "She's Under Here" has left people gasping. To protect her two daughters and herself from her abusive and dangerous ex-husband Gil, the California native went into hiding with her family for two decades. Essentially creating a do-it-yourself witness protection plan, Karen used her graphic skills to create new identities several states away from the man who threatened to kill her. Follow her tale from her Catholic upbringing that resulted in having to give up her first baby after birth in the same place where her birth mother had done the same, to her wild Vegas trip at seventeen with much older boss Gil, to a life filled with joy with the love of her life Vinnie. You won't want to miss the story of a woman who has had to fight for everything she has!Karen Palmer’s websiteKaren’s book “She’s Under Here”Article in The Guardian about Karen’s story and book Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina talks to Santa Clara business school professor Jo-Ellen Pozner and Scottish scientist Benjamin Zeitlin about how they found each other two decades ago the old-fashioned way: on JDate. They discuss the infamous Chicago Art Institute smoked fish incident, their resolution of the two-body problem, and their move into their California marital home after never having lived in the same city at all. The couple shares their thoughts about antisemitism across their lifetime, media depictions of Jewish relationships, and the recipe to a happy marriage. You won't want to miss this joyful episode about love, culture, and communication! Jo-Ellen’s websiteBenjamin’s LinkedIn Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

In this episode, Irina welcomes writer and professor Kelly Foster Lundquist who recently published the book "Beard: A Memoir of a Marriage." Raised as a pastor's daughter in Mississippi, little did Kelly know that the man with whom she fell in love as fellow counselors at a Christian camp would deceive her and himself about his sexuality. Their story largely unfolds in Chicago, while Kelly is--of all things--a PhD student in queer studies. Suspicious events begin piling up, including with Kelly finding suspicious pictures of men on her husband Devin's computer. Subjected to conversion "therapy" when younger, Devin becomes both victim and cheater, until the marriage inevitably crumbles. Kelly narrates her tale of survival and ultimately rekindled friendship with Devin, also commenting on what LGBTQ+ populations still face in America today. Come hear a tale that will take you on an emotional rollercoaster replete with love, food, alcohol, and redemption!Kelly Foster Lundquist’s websiteKelly’s book “Beard: A Memoir of a Marriage”Kelly’s faculty profileArticle in The Times about Kelly’s story and bookArticle in People that Kelly authored about beardsSOTI ep. 84: Pride Month Special (Part 1)SOTI ep. 85: Pride Month Special (Part 2) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina welcomes on this episode Natalie Licini, a photographer and business owner whose rags-to-riches story will make your head spin. Natalie grew up poor and at times on food stamps in Staten Island, where she sometimes lacked a coat in winter and physical fights in school were the norm. Taking on every odd job she could find from flipping burgers to running a manicure operation from her dorm room, Natalie hustled her way through high school and the five colleges she attended. While it took her nine years to finish her bachelor's degree at NYU due to all that life threw at her, she became a respected executive assistant at a major Wall Street firm. How the mom of three took on a top New Jersey divorce lawyer by herself to fight for her rights and now runs a photography business out of a castle, along with other ventures, is part and parcel of this episode. Come hear about how not to be afraid of start over, again and again if needed, and thrive with your head kept high!Natalie Licini’s websiteNatalie’s IGSOTI ep. 22: Dating and Mental Health Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this episode, Irina talks with employment attorney Laura Koistinen from the Law Office of Kevin Mintzer, which has taken on Harvey Weinstein, Andrew Cuomo, and FoxNews, among others. Named a Rising Star by Super Lawyers since 2020, Laura has challenged problematic employers from her early days as a junior attorney in Portland, Oregon to today in New York City. She is part of the team representing actor Julia Ormond against Weinstein, CAA, and Disney, and explains why victims are afraid to come forward whether they face sexual harassment, employment discrimination, or both. Laura shares the many legal obstacles facing mistreated employees but also the progress that has been made (and will need to continue to be). Come join for fascinating insights from a life fighting for justice!Laura Koistinen’s professional profileJulia Ormond’s lawsuit against Weinstein, CAA, and Disney: Rolling Stone write-up Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle have the pleasure of welcoming Wharton professor and economist Dr. Corinne Low, the author of the new book (out September 23, 2025) "Having It All: What Data Tells Us About Women's Lives and Getting the Most Out of Yours." Part autobiography and part comprehensive economic analysis, the book is chock-full of eye-opening practical advice on how to examine and lead one's life in a way that maximizes so-called personal utility. What is the economic cost to women of picking a problematic romantic partner or of experiencing sexual discrimination or harassment in their jobs? Do women really need to be more like men at work? How do legal policies and cultural expectations need to change to create a fairer world for everyone? While a recent article in "The Cut" focused on how Corinne increased her happiness between a first marriage to a man and a second to a woman, Irina and Michelle take a deep dive into the research side and the many different ways to change your life! Dr. Corinne Low's websiteCorinne's faculty profile Having It All bookCorinne's SubstackThe Cut article about CorinneCorinne's Bluesky, IG, and Facebook profiles Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What are boundaries and how do you enforce them? Irina and Michelle delve into why these questions aren't as simple as they may appear. People who weren't taught to draw boundaries as children (or in fact had them disregarded) often struggle to deny requests in adulthood and stand their ground without guilt. How can you learn to respect yourself and make sure others respect you as well or get out of your life? The Dating Professors work through every step of the struggle and share what kind of line drawing doesn't come easily to them.SOTI ep. 36: Therapy Speak as Relationship Abuse Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A recent op-ed in the New York Times by Rachel Drucker asked "Men, Where Have You Gone?", followed by reader responses from men. Drucker lamented men withdrawing from the romantic public sphere and seeking stimulation over connection. At best, according to Drucker, single men would be willing to entertain situationships rather than relationships. Irina and Michelle discuss in this episode whether they think Drucker is right and what they make of the reader responses. Are respondents right that expectations for men have just gotten too confusing? Or that it makes sense for them to withdraw from dating if otherwise they risk being put on blast on social media if a woman does not like their behavior? Let's dive in!Rachel Drucker's NYT op-ed "Men, Where Have You Gone?"Reader responses to the NYT op-ed Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle have the pleasure on this episode to talk to newlyweds Monica and Will. The academic mom and enrollment manager dad blended their families after a magical year-ish together. Find out how Monica used a dating consultant to make the best choices and Will finally escaped some confusing vegetable emoji games. Did their solar eclipse date seal the deal for these two romantics that buy matching shirts and broke all their own rules about not getting married or moving in together with a new partner? Join us for an unbearably cute episode about love that overcomes grief, skepticism, and any other challenge. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

The Dating Professors continue their conversation with Hollywood darlings Chris Peckover and Shannon Short. You better get the tissues ready for this part as Irina and Michelle learn how both Chris and Shannon escaped the Grim Reaper in quick succession. Between dramatic car rides to the hospital and emergency surgeries, these true partners refused to leave each other's side throughout. Listen also to how--long before meeting Chris--Shannon had married his best friend Christine (!) after trying to "pray the gay away" via conversion therapy, and how she was the one who ultimately set him free. This episode is one heartwarming tale about how love and science saved Chris and Shannon's hearts and how one of them sometimes needs to pull over in sheer awe of their lives.Chris Peckover's IMDBShannon Short's IMDB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Happy Pride! This episode follows the epic love story of filmmaker (and Irina's friend from college) Chris Peckover and costume designer Shannon Short. Hear how Chris randomly contacted Shannon based on a cute Facebook picture and then drove from L.A. to San Diego for a date before Shannon had to embark on a cruise ship for a six-week work trip. Did Chris really go from being a pre-med swimmer at Yale to making one of the most popular Christmas-themed horror movies of all times? And did Branson-born Shannon journey from being homeless in his car in Texas to creating Emmy-nominated costume work in Hollywood after being discovered by the makers of The Mandalorian? For a tale worthy of the sparkliest California dreams, join Michelle and Irina for a two-part episode you won't want to miss!Chris Peckover's IMDBShannon Short's IMDB Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle continue their conversation with Southern attorney Kate, which traces the aftermath of her discovery of Doug's true identity. Just how dangerous was Doug? How did Kate unmask him and get away relatively quickly? And how did his cat blow Doug's cover when he was trying to run an empathy scam on one of his sugar babies?? For all that and more on the denouement of a supervillain's tale and Kate's exit from it, tune into part 2 of this caper!SOTI ep. 82: The Comic Con Artist with Kate (Part 1) Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle have on this episode the wild tale of Kate, a successful lawyer and mom in her 50s in the Southern United States, and the same-aged man she met on Feeld while traveling, Doug (both pseudonyms). Doug seemed like the perfect boyfriend in many respects, and Kate dated him for three months long distance while he lived in a different Southern state. Doug claimed to be working at sci-fi conventions and concert venues, yet he somehow hardly seemed to leave his home and was constantly broke. Nothing could have prepared Kate, however, for the revelations of a group of women known as "The Club" who found her on social media. Did Doug really engage in cancer charity and GoFundMe frauds? Was he dating women his age only to fund his sugar baby habit? And what was up with the rumors that he may have killed his own father? Come join us for part 1 of this breathtaking story! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What makes for a happy moment in a romantic relationship? Irina and Michelle walk down memory lane to share some of their favorites. Travel, rain, cupcakes, protests, and discussions of "body counts" all make an appearance in this episode. Escape dreariness for a bit with the Dating Professors as you remember some of your own special past moments upon hearing theirs! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

As the Wall Street Journal and other sources have discussed recently, more and more women in the United States are stopping their search for a man to marry. Why is this happening? Irina and Michelle talk about what the average woman feels like she is (and isn't) getting in heterosexual marriage today, including in this economy. The Dating Professors analyze what happens when women are the higher earners, how young women now view marriage, as well as how children affect the labor dynamic in couples and why expectations often don't end up meeting reality. Pull up a chair and join the conversation!WSJ article on why women are giving up on marriage Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

On this special episode, Irina and Michelle speak with Portland-based creator Mike Schneider whose balloon art and other works have gone viral. Now with over 800K Instagram followers and a full-time career as an artist inspiring, delighting, and sometimes provoking with quotations displayed in balloon letters on colorful walls or in other formats, Mike shares his thoughts. He talks all things dating, grief, mental health, politics, creative process, and books (the second of which will be published shortly!). Come join us for a heartening conversation with one of social media's top art darlings! Mike Schneider’s IGMike’s websiteMike’s first bookMike’s second book"Boxed-Wine Boyfriend" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Irina and Michelle host trauma expert and NYC-based therapist Dr. Karen Dwyer-Tesoriero on this episode. She explains what distinguishes complex post-traumatic stress disorder (c-PTSD) from other types of trauma and how it may express itself in romantic and other relationships. How do people with c-PTSD become activated, and how can they settle down and practice self-care? What happens when both partners in a relationship have c-PTSD? For a conversation about these questions and much more, tune in!Karen A. Dwyer-Tesoriero’s websiteKaren's self-care guide Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How can you stop yourself and conversations from blowing up? In this episode, Irina and Michelle talk about bringing down the temperature, especially when it comes to conflict within romantic relationships. The Dating Professors discuss how to use breaks effectively in arguments, muddle through if a break is infeasible, and distinguish between expecting respect and tone policing. Let's talk about creating peace and accountability! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

A month into the new presidency, many couples are facing existential questions. Perhaps one person lost their federal job, or the couple disagrees on just how unsafe the country has gotten. We discuss how to handle questions such as whether to leave the United States, especially if both people in the couple are not on the same page. Irina and Michelle also go over how to try and maintain balance in an imbalanced world, and how to handle people who either cause national misery or at least downplay its existence. Amanda Ripley's book "High Conflict" Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

How do workplaces support or undermine people's personal lives, and especially romantic relationships and family lives? What happens when toxicity in the form of poor pay or other bad treatment affects workers' wellbeing even once home? Irina and Michelle discuss the difficulties of workplaces regarding benefits and flexibility, and who all loses out in the end. Come join the conversation about life-work balance! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.