All In The Mind

How do you grieve a dying parent you're estranged from? Do cheaters ever change? People say love should feel 'easy', is that true?Psychotherapist Esther Perel is back on All in the Mind, answering your questions about heartbreak, loss, and love in this extra special mailbag episode.We've got questions on how to reconnect with estranged siblings, what to do when global conflicts impact personal relationships, and whether a first love can still feel special, even if it happens later in life.And if you missed part one of our chat with Esther Perel, you can listen to our episode titled "Couples therapy with an AI partner? Esther Perel's just done it" here.Esther also featured on our first episode of Mind Hacks!Guest:Esther PerelPsychotherapist and couples therapistAuthor, The State of Affairs and Mating in CaptivityHost, Where Should We Begin? with Esther PerelCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Roi HubermanMore information:If you want to hear more from Esther Perel, she chatted to Lisa Leong on This Working Life. The episode is called Esther Perel on conflict and power struggles at work.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.

Welcome back to All in the Mind's little sister: Mind Hacks. In this episode, cognitive neuroscientist Joel Pearson tells us how he manages his own stress (clue: it involves saunas!)Each week on Mind Hacks, we're bringing you bonus content with special guests, featuring rapid fire questions about their mental health tips and pet peeves. It's like a psychology version of eff, marry kill!We're going to test this format out over the next few weeks, so let us know what you think, or if there's a guest you'd like us to invite back on the program for Mind Hacks. As always, you can reach us on allinthemind@abc.net.auAnd don't worry, regular All in the Mind episodes will keep dropping every Sunday.Guest:Professor Joel PearsonPsychologist, neuroscientistFounder and Director, Future Minds LabUniversity of New South WalesCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Harvey O'SullivanRelevant All in the Mind episodes:Is AI making our brains lazier?"Scarier than killer robots": why your mind isn't ready for AIWhen to trust your gut instinct, and when to ignore itYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.

Social media gave us brain rot; will AI give us cognitive atrophy? How can we possibly learn to cope with the sheer amount of uncertainty and change heading our way?Cognitive neuroscientist Joel Pearson is back on the show, two years after his mega popular appearance in our episode titled "Scarier than killer robots": why your mind isn't ready for AI.In this episode we cover the potential long-term impact of widescale job losses, the anxiety university students are feeling about their job prospects, the risk of cognitive atrophy when outsourcing to AI, and what we can do to be more adaptable and flexible in the age of AI.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.Guest:Professor Joel PearsonPsychologist, neuroscientistFounder and Director, Future Minds LabUniversity of New South WalesCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Tim JenkinsMore info:When to trust your gut instinct, and when to ignore itWhy being a beginner is good for you

Introducing All in the Mind's little sister: Mind Hacks. Each week, we'll bring you bonus content with special guests, featuring rapid fire questions about their mental health tips and pet peeves. It's like a psychology version of eff, marry kill!Kicking off our first episode is none other than Esther Perel. What mental health advice would she avoid at all costs?We're going to test this format out over the next few weeks, so let us know what you think, or if there's a guest you'd like us to invite back on the program for Mind Hacks. As always, you can reach us on allinthemind@abc.net.auAnd don't worry, regular All in the Mind episodes will keep dropping every Sunday.Guest:Esther PerelPsychotherapist and couples therapistAuthor, The State of Affairs and Mating in CaptivityHost, Where Should We Begin? with Esther PerelCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Michael GrossmanYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.

Psychotherapist and relationship expert Esther Perel has had a lot of 'firsts' over her four decade-long career — counselling her first polyamorous relationship, or her first gay couple navigating surrogacy. Now, she's just done her first session with a man and his AI 'girlfriend'…Did she struggle to take this ‘couple’ seriously? What kind of love can someone really form with a chatbot? And why would someone bring their AI partner to a relationship therapy session in the first place?This week, renowned psychotherapist, author, and speaker Esther Perel reflects on what’s changed in the decades she's worked as a relationship therapist; whether AI can be a helpful tool for therapy; and why we might be better off conceptualising AI companions as ‘transitional objects’ instead. Plus, join us in a few week's time for a very special mailbag episode with Esther, featuring your questions!Guest:Esther PerelPsychotherapist and couples therapistAuthor, The State of Affairs and Mating in CaptivityHost, Where Should We Begin? with Esther PerelCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineers: Harvey O'Sullivan and Emrys CroninYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.

Developmental paediatrician Dr Billy Garvey is returning to All in the Mind and we'd love to ask him your questions!Billy is an expert on kids' mental health — last time he was on the show we discussed what's really going on with kids who are labelled "bad"; including insecure attachment, separation anxiety and emotional difficulties. He co-hosts Pop Culture Parenting and is the author of Ten things I wish you knew about your child's mental health.So if you have any questions you'd like to put to Billy, send them to allinthemind@abc.net.au and include "question for Dr Billy Garvey" in the subject line.And if you're looking for inspiration, you can find Dr Billy Garvey's previous episode here.Thanks! - Sana and the All in the Mind team

The siren has sounded. The scores are even. A footy player has one final chance to kick an easy goal to get his team into the finals.He's right in front of the goals. He lines up. Kicks. Misses. The pressure of such a moment was phenomenal, and the player choked under it.So what happens in the brain during such intense periods? Why can some people remain calm while others can't handle it?This episode first aired in July 2024.Guests:Caroline AndersonPerformance psychologistLead psychologist for the Paris 2024 Australian Olympic TeamDr Chris MesagnoSenior lecturer in sport and exercise psychology, Victoria UniversityLouise PotterFootballer and Darebin Falcons legendMary SpillaneClinical psychologistCredits:Presenter: Sana QadarReporter/Producer: Belinda SmithProducer: Rose Kerr, Petria LadgroveSound engineer: Russell StapletonTo view the transcript for this episode, head to its original webpage.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.

40 years ago, NASA experienced one of its most devastating disasters.The Challenger space shuttle disintegrated just 73 seconds after launch, killing all seven crew members.How had this happened? And did the culture of NASA have anything to do with it?In this episode, we dig into a concept called 'normalisation of deviance', which has been touted as an explanation for this incident, as well as the Costa Concordia cruise ship disaster and a clinical drug trial that left six people in intensive care.So what is 'normalisation of deviance'? How does it happen? And given its potential for harm, is there anything we can do to prevent it?If you enjoyed this episode, check out the latest season of Science Friction, The Challenger Disaster (which is also produced by our senior producer James Bullen!)Guests:Dr Nejc SedlarLecturer, University of AberdeenProfessor Sidney DekkerProfessor, Griffith UniversityCredits:Presenter: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenAdditional reporting/production: Fiona PepperProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Roi HubermanYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.More information:A qualitative systematic review on the application of the normalization of deviance phenomenon within high-risk industries.Sidney Dekker — Drift into Failure.Challenger: the disaster five people saw coming.The Challenger Legacy — Science Friction.Has NASA learned anything from the Challenger disaster?When to trust your gut instinct, and when to ignore itA deviation from standard design? Clinical trials, research ethics committees, and the regulatory co-construction of organizational deviance

Renowned psychotherapist Esther Perel is coming to All in the Mind! And we'd love to ask her some of your questions.Esther Perel is an internationally recognised couples therapist. You might know her as the author of Mating in Captivity and The State of Affairs. Family, sex, intimacy, friendship, betrayal - Esther covers it all. So if you have any thorny relationship questions you'd like to ask her, send them to allinthemind@abc.net.au and include "question for Esther Perel" in the subject line.Thanks!

Slow walkers. Unmelted cheese in a toastie. Bad formatting in documents. If these small annoyances make you weirdly mad, you're not alone (in fact, you're human). But when little pet peeves add up, they can contribute much bigger problems like chronic stress. So what can you do about it?Today: why small annoyances have such an outsized impact; why judging yourself doesn't help; and how elements of Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) can help you better navigate these moments (as well as the bigger challenges in life).And if you're not a fan of radical acceptance, which was covered in a recent episode, we go deeper on what it really means.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.Guest:Dr Patricia Zurita-OnaClinical psychologistAuthorCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Roi HubermanMore information:Relationship of daily hassles, uplifts, and major life events to health statusThe peculiar longevity of things not so badPatricia's website and resourcesOther recommended listening:Chronically stressed? These small changes can helpDifficult people and radical acceptance: answering your questions about tricky relationships

When Blake's dad died by suicide, it came as a complete shock. Overwhelming grief, combined with confusion and guilt — it uprooted his life. The loss made him rethink his own mental health, and eventually, channel that into the community — fundraising and taking on three world records.Today, we're talking about suicide bereavement; how it can affect family and friends, its long lasting impacts on mental health, and how to support someone going through the experience. It can be really tricky to talk about suicide, so how do you tackle talking to kids about this kind of loss?Also, why are rates of suicide not going down, despite millions spent on prevention? And why do some people experience something called post-traumatic growth while others don't?This episode discusses suicide, grief and mental illness in depth. Please take care while listening.Guests:Blake JohnstonFormer pro surferSurf CoachMental Health advocateAuthor, SwellbeingAssociate Professor Karl AndriessenPrincipal Research Fellow, Centre for Mental Health and Community WellbeingMelbourne School of Population and Global HealthUniversity of MelbourneTanja HirvonenClinical psychologistChief Executive Officer, ThirriliBoard Director, Australian Indigenous Psychologists AssociationBoard Director, Black Dog InstituteCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarProducer: Rose KerrSenior producer: James BullenSound engineer: Harvey O'SullivanThanks to freesound.org users tim.kahn and juskiddinkSupport and resources:Lifeline 13 11 14Thirrili 1800 805 80113 YARN 13 92 76Beyond Blue  1300 22 4636StandBy Support 1300 727 247Roses in the oceanMore information:Coping With A Parent's SuicideAlarming rise in Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander suicide ratesA better way: suicide prevention in First Nations communitiesYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on ABC Listen or wherever you get your podcasts.

Simon considers himself a calm, conscientious, conflict-avoidant type of person. But in the car, his personality flips — and it scares him.It can be hard to admit, but many of us do experience road rage.So what is it about being in the driver's seat that makes us so quick to anger? And does the type of car a person drives have anything to do with their propensity for aggression?Today, we're talking about road rage; owning up to times we've lost our temper and finding out what we can do about it.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.Guests:Dr Amanda StephensSenior Research Fellow,Monash University Accident Research CentreSimonAll in the Mind listener and business ownerCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Harvey O'SullivanMore information:Estimated car cost as a predictor of driver yielding behaviors for pedestriansHigher social class predicts increased unethical behaviorThe fast and the furious: Research shows that owners of high-status cars are on a collision course with traffic

Over years of practice, clinical psychologist Dr Mary Anderson started to notice a peculiar pattern across her many clients.Despite being impressive high achievers on the outside, inside they were struggling with burnout, imposter syndrome, anxiety and self-criticism.So she set out to develop a guide for these high achievers. A framework to support their success ... without sacrificing their mental health.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode first aired in May 2025.Guests:Dr Mary AndersonClinical Psychologist; Author, The Happy High AchieverCredits:Presenter/Producer: Sana QadarProducer: Rose KerrSenior Producer: James BullenSound Engineer: Tegan NichollsYou can find the transcript for this episode on its original webpage here.Extra Information:The Happy High Achiever - Pan Macmillan Australia

Many of us have felt self loathing at some point in our lives — maybe when you've failed at an important task at work, or lost an important relationship.But some people hate themselves all the time — their inner monologue is a constant drumbeat of self-criticism and self-loathing. Where does this kind of all-encompassing self-hate come from? And is there a way to unlearn it?We speak to psychiatrist Dr Blaise Aguirre, author of I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About You. This episode discusses the topic of suicide - please take care while listening.This episode first aired in February 2025.Guest:Dr Blaise AguirreChild and adolescent psychiatristAssistant Professor of Psychiatry, Harvard Medical SchoolAuthor, I Hate Myself: Overcome Self-Loathing and Realize Why You're Wrong About YouCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Isabella TropianoThanks to Freesound.org users 7by7, qubodup, laft2k, andre.nascimentoTo find the transcript for this episode, head to it's original webpage.Resources:Lifeline Australia1800RESPECTYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

Be honest, how many times have you checked your notifications in the last hour? Or opened a new, totally unrelated tab? Or stopped what you're doing even though you really need to do it?Distractions are everywhere. And whether they're self-imposed or coming from our environment, it can be hard to focus.Today, we explore the ramifications of our rapidly shrinking attention spans, debunk some myths about focus, and discuss the art of taking a break.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode first aired in March 2025.Guests:Dr Emma Fitzgerald Clinical NeuropsychologistSebEmma's son and distracted teenagerGloria Mark, PhDChancellor's Professor Emerita, University of California, IrvineAuthor, Attention SpanCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Bella TropianoTo find the transcript for this episode, head to its original webpage.Extra info:Gloria's The Future of Attention substackSmartphones in the nursery: Parental smartphone use and parental sensitivity and responsiveness within parent–child interaction in early childhood (0–5 years): A scoping reviewDitching your smartphone won't stop you being distracted, study finds

Have you ever experienced "the ick"?It's that sudden, visceral feeling of being put off by someone you're dating. Maybe it's their hat, a hobby or even the way they laugh.Stories of the ick are prolific online, but it leaves us with a question - what causes it? To separate red flags from disgust, we get into the psychology of the ick - why you might feel icky, if it should be a deal breaker, and what it says about your own attachment style.You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode first aired in March 2025.Guests:MichaelaSingle and ick-proneAdam HorvathClinical Psychologist at Personal PsychologyProfessor Gery Karantzas, PhDCouples therapistDirector, Science of Adult Relationships laboratoryDeakin UniversityCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineers: Tegan Nicholls and Michael GrossmanYou can find the transcript for this episode on its original webpage here.More information:The ick: Disgust sensitivity, narcissism, and perfectionism in mate choice thresholds

Developmental paediatrician Dr Billy Garvey has seen a lot of kids with behavioural issue over the years, and there are ten things he wishes all parents understood about their kids mental health.From insecure attachment to separation anxiety to emotional difficulties – he gives us the low down on why kids get labelled ‘bad’ – and what’s really going on (usually).You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.This episode first aired in February 2025.Guest:Dr Billy GarveyDevelopmental paediatricianAuthor, Ten things I wish you knew about your child's mental healthPodcast co-host, Pop Culture ParentingFounder, Guiding Growing MindsCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: John Jacobs

Difficult people are everywhere. Maybe you're one of them, or maybe you're about to sit through an awkward holiday situation with someone you REALLY don't know how to handle.This week, clinical psychologist Rachel Samson returns to answer all your questions on challenging people from the All in the Mind mailbox.How do I deal with my coworker who's crossing boundaries? Should I try and make peace with my problematic family member?We'll answer these questions and more — from how to avoid becoming a difficult person yourself, to the power of radical acceptance.Thank you for listening to All in the Mind this year! If you have an episode idea for next year or want to send some feedback, you can email us at mind_rn@abc.net.auGuest:Rachel SamsonClinical psychologistCo-author, Beyond DifficultDirector of the Australian Association of PsychologistsRachael Samson also appeared on our episode in November called Narcissist, or just a pain? How to deal with difficult people.Credits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Bethany StewartYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.

From the prohibition era in the US, to gun control in Australia, bans have been used throughout history to change behaviour. Sometimes they work, sometimes they don't. Sometimes, they lead to a whole lot of unintended consequences.With the social media ban for under-16’s taking effect this week, we uncover the three factors that can determine whether a ban is more likely to succeed or fail – and find out what the history of bans tells us about how effective this policy might be (or not).Plus – how solid is the research on the link between mental ill health and social media use?You can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.Guests:Dr Alexis WhittonAssociate Professor and psychologistThe Black Dog Institute and University of New South WalesDr Kate Harrison BrennanProfessor of Practice and Academic Director of the Sydney Policy LabHonorary Associate at the Sydney Law SchoolUniversity of SydneySeb, Eva, Ciara, LilyWith additional thanks to Associate Professor Susanne Schweizer, from the University of New South Wales.Credits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Micky GrossmanA big thank you to everyone who sent us emails and voice memos with their thoughts on the social media ban. We couldn't include everyone but we appreciate getting to hear your perspectives.Thanks to freesound.org users TRP and davidbainMore information:Support for under-16 social media ban soars to 77% among AustraliansIllegal tobacco is a deadly $10 billion industry wiping out legitimate businessesSmoking rates continue to decline while vaping triples, national household drug survey showsPsychological reactance to system-level policies before and after their implementationThe presence of laws and mandates is associated with increased social norm enforcementYouth mental health enters 'dangerous phase'Social psychologist and author of best-selling book The Anxious Generation Jonathan Haidt talks to News Breakfast about Australia's world-first under 16 social media ban — ABC LifestyleeSafety appoints Stanford University-led academic advisory group to assess the impacts of the Social Media Minimum Age obligationDigital mental health, Black Dog Institute

When bad things happen, do you berate yourself or treat yourself with compassion? Do you journal, meditate, or listen to music?Growing up, Sabrina McKenzie always turned to music to help her through her worst moments.As she got older and began studying psychology, she realised what she felt when she listened to sad or angry songs ... was self-compassion.In the field of positive psychology there’s plenty of research on how journalling and meditation can cultivate self-compassion (and plenty of research suggesting self-compassionate people are more mentally and physically healthy).But Sabrina was shocked to learn there was no research on whether music could cultivate self-compassion. She decided to change that.Today: the songs that saved Sabrina, and the novel research looking for a link between music and self-compassion. This episode touches on the topic of sexual abuse, please take care while listening.Guest:Sabrina McKenzieAssociate Lecturer in musicPhD candidate in music psychologyUniversity of Melbourne, Melbourne Conservatorium of MusicCredits:Presenter/producer: Sana QadarSenior producer: James BullenProducer: Rose KerrSound engineer: Roi HubermanYou can catch up on more episodes of the All in the Mind podcast with journalist and presenter Sana Qadar, exploring the psychology of topics like stress, memory, communication and relationships on the ABC Listen app (Australia) or wherever you get your podcasts.Music to listen to:Why Trust You - Alice CooperNow I Can Dance - Tina ArenaThis Is Me (Official Audio) — The Greatest Showman Cast"Saying Goodbye" — OndaraMore information:Self-compassion as a predictor of interleukin-6 response to acute psychosocial stressA Systematic Review on Mediation Studies of Self-Compassion and Physical Health Outcomes in Non-Clinical Adult PopulationsExploring the role of music listening in cultivating self-compassionSupport:Lifeline 13 11 14