DiscoverDecoding Attachment Styles
Decoding Attachment Styles
Claim Ownership

Decoding Attachment Styles

Author: Annalisa Bahadur

Subscribed: 97Played: 2,073
Share

Description

Why you keep picking the same fights. Why you feel so needy or so smothered. Let's talk about why your relationships play out the way they do, and what you can actually do about it.


I’m your host, Annalisa Bahadur. I have a psychology degree, I’m a coach, and most importantly, I’ve been in the trenches. I used to have major anxious attachment. I know what it's like to feel that constant anxiety, to need reassurance, to feel like the relationship is always on the brink of collapse.


But I did the work to move toward secure. And I’m now almost five years into a happy, stable relationship with a recovering avoidant. I’m not talking theory from a textbook. I’m talking about what actually worked for me and my clients.


This podcast is about attachment theory, stripped down to the basics. No fluff, no fancy language. Just straight talk about how your early wiring affects your adult relationships.


In each episode, we break down the four attachment styles - Secure, Anxious, Avoidant, and Fearful-Avoidant. 

We'll look at how they show up in your dating life, your friendships, and even at work. You'll hear real stories and get practical steps you can use right now.

We focus on two main tools: empathy and boundaries.


  • Empathy to understand why you and the people you love act the way they do.
  • Boundaries to protect your own energy and stop cycles of drama and hurt.


This isn't about blaming your parents or your exes. It's about giving you a roadmap to better relationships. You'll learn how to identify your patterns, communicate what you really need, and build connections that feel solid, not stressful.

If you're tired of the same old problems and you're ready for real change, you're in the right place.


Bonus- every Thursday you'll have a chance to listen in on real people as they share their struggles as I coach them through their challenges. Each individual has agreed to have these session recorded using a pseudonym, and aired for your benefit. 

70 Episodes
Reverse
Very little is more devasting than the condition of being blindsided and betrayed by an avoidant attached persons. Sure they have their reasons but that doesn’t negate the pain their sudden exit cause when we are the ones left behind. In this episode, Sarah (name changed) shares her struggles to get through a breakup (divorce) with her ex and her determination to heal. We can all see ourselves in her story- we feel her pain and we root for her. I would love to hear your ...
You know that you should walk away yet it is so difficult for you to pull the plug on this Relationship. You might’ve even tried to leave in the past but always return to this familiar and uncomfortable place. Why does this happen? In this podcast, we explore our attachment style and how it keeps us stuck in relationships we know we should get out of. We also discuss tools we can use to make letting go easier. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
Imagine craving the warmth of a campfire. You love the light, the comfort, the shared stories. You want to be close enough to feel its heat. But the moment someone says, "Here, tie this rope around your waist and anchor yourself to this log right next to the flames," you panic. The very thing that offered comfort suddenly feels like a trap. The fire hasn't changed; the constraint has. This is the daily reality for many with an avoidant attachment style when they hear the word "commitmen...
Sarah (name changed) has been a relationship with a fearful avoidant for almost a year. All was going well until it got rocky. She now wants to try again but with some boundaries in place. Sarah and I sat down recently to discuss how it could look going forward for her and her partner. Sarah agreed to have this session recorded and aired for the benefit of everyone listening. Remember, as humans, our views and needs differ. Take what you believe would be helpful for your situation...
You hit send. You see the “Delivered” tick turn to “Read.” And then... nothing. The silence is louder than any notification. Your mind starts racing: Are they hurt? Are they ignoring me? Did my message come on too strong? Was it the wrong emoji? Before you spiral into that abyss of overthinking, we want you to hit pause. The reason for that silent phone likely has very little to do with you, and everything to do with their internal wiring- their attachment style. In this episode of Decoding A...
When you're in a relationship shaped by attachment insecurities, the questions are complex, urgent, and deeply personal. In this episode of Decoding Attachment, host Annalisa Bahadur tackles your real-world dilemmas with clarity and compassion, offering actionable strategies for some of the toughest dynamics. We're moving beyond theory and into the trenches to answer your pressing questions, including… “An FA leaning anxious – do we treat them as anxious?” We break down why you don’t ...
Is it okay for your partner to take space and drop off the face of the earth without responding to your texts or calls? Not if you’re in a serious committed relationship. This podcast explains why and what you should do. If you’re avoidant attached and want to know how to ask for space without your partner getting upset- listen to this podcast. Please share this podcast if you found it helpful. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
This episode shares the time line in which the avoidant show interested in the rebound, starts to withdraws and goes back to their ex. The episode talks about why Avoidant Attached jumps into soon after a break up, what their intentions are when returning to and what you can do to prevent yourself from becoming rebound. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
This is what we are talking about today- Why avoidants rush into reboundsThe negative consequences of rebound relationshipsWhether avoidants come back to their exWhat their (often anxious) partners should doHealthier alternatives for avoidantsHow secure individuals handle breakups and reboundsDon’t forget to leave a review so others can know how this episode may help them too. Thanks in advance. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
Setting buddies after giving someone a second chance can feel tricky. We want to let them back into our lives but how do we do it with light lagging them take us for granted again. This podcasts answers that question. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
We all want to feel like the priority in the relationship but this is often not felt when in a relationship with an avoidant attached person. But is this only with a avoidant attached partner or can an insecure (anxious or avoidant) attached feel that way with a secure attached as well. This podcast helps to break down a few possible reasons you may not feel that way. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
It can be confusing spotting your attachment style or knowing exactly which is your partners attachment style. This podcast simplifies the attachment style so you can understand them and appreciate how and why they show up in your every day life. You’ll also have a better understanding of how and if your partner can trigger a different attachment within you. Share you thoughts on the podcast, please. As well as share to friends and family members if you think this can make their lives...
Do you find you’re in a co-dependent relationship that is affecting your relationship? Maybe you need them too much, or perhaps you don’t want to need them as much but don’t know what to do. This podcast shares how our attachment styles show up in co-dependent relationships and what you can do to manage it. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
Should you leave early Relationship and heal or stay single until you find someone who is securely attached? Is it that simple? Better yet, would it be best to heal your attachment style while still in a relationship or while waiting for someone who is securely attached, I believe that might be a better bet and in this podcast, I share how to attachment styles or formulated so that you have a better understanding of the work that you’re gonna wanna do in order to heal that attachment style an...
One of the most taught after answers in our time now is how to manage a relationship with an Avoidant Attached person and, what is really going on in their minds. This episode helps and Avoidant Attached person understand themselves better as well as starter healing journey. It also helps those who are interested in understanding and appreciating their Avoidant Attached friends and Partner Better. Dropping the comment section how this particular episode changed your perspective. I would lov...
This is a recording of the regular Wednesday live Instagram. On today’s episode we answered these questions 👇…and more… What are the signs that an avoidant ex is forever gone and the relationship has ended Man has been living a double life. He’s been in two relationships while messaging other women. What should I do? Do avoidant people honestly love and care about you, or is it just a game? If I have awareness that I am an anxious attached person and my partner is fearful ...
I forgive you’ doesn’t mean ‘I trust you yet.’ Why true forgiveness demands time, boundaries, and self-grace. A raw look at healing after betrayal. Forgiveness isn’t about speed-it’s about strength. Why granting a second chance requires giving yourself grace first. Explore the art of forgiving on your terms, setting boundaries, and reclaiming power after betrayal. Because true healing can’t be rushed. I would love to hear your thoughts on this episode. Support the show
It’s easy for someone to look at your relationship and think that it should not be lasting as long as it does. You may even know that the relationship your end should end and you don’t know why you haven’t left us yet. Or perhaps you did find a courage and strength to walk away from it but you still wonder if they’ll come back and if things could work out differently or as you hope. Why does this happen? In this episode, we are looking at why we logically know the relationship should end bu...
Every Wednesday, I have a Live on Instagram where I answer questions sent in by followers on that platform. Here is a recorded copy of it. The questions answered are below. You can also catch the recording on my YouTube channel. How to bring back an ex in the relationship when she is not ready to come in the relationship with me. It’s confusing of what to do when someone comes back after 1-2 weeks. How do I respond? He says he doesn’t know if he can live without me but says ...
Here’s a story you’ve lived before, even if you don’t realize it yet. You meet someone. The connection is immediate, intoxicating—like a chemical reaction you can’t control. The texts flow effortlessly. The future feels possible. Then, without warning, the shift: one of you pulls back. The other panics. And just like that, you’re locked in the oldest romantic pattern in human psychology—the anxious-avoidant dance. This isn’t just about bad timing or mismatched feelings. This is about how our ...
loading
Comments