The Comedian Next Door

'Ello, Neighbor!   We chat about accents and the fact that all roads are "on the way" home...  Also--when giving directions, what does it mean when you say "turn at the next light?"  Help us resolve a family debate! LATER: We're not saying that EVERY Democrat will be murdered by their own mentally-ill child... But, there are a few Leftist-leaning parents in the "community" who are wondering whether they may be next.     Why are we treading so lightly on this topic? Email the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com. 

We spend time talking through New Year’s traditions, mostly by noticing how much meaning we’ve managed to assign to them. We discuss eating out, the choices we make around food, and the responsibilities that come with traveling, all of which feel more complicated once we’re actually doing them. Along the way, we reflect on how these habits have become normal and why they continue to matter to us. We also talk about resolutions, confetti, and the symbolism we attach to small moments and objects. We touch on capturing memories, saying goodbyes, and the simple pleasure found in cancellations. The conversation rounds out with a look at choosing a “word of the year” and a light, humorous critique of how fast food mascots, especially Ronald McDonald—have changed over time.

Hey, Neighbor! Luke takes a risk and brings a quote to the table for discussion.  He may not do that again after the way he was treated..."Servant-leaders don't lead by serving, they serve by leading."  Does anyone use the term "servant-leader" anymore?  (Certainly no one in the Fight Laugh Feast network thinks it's a helpful label.) Trends come and go very quickly in the Internet Age!  THEN:  The Worship Leader doesn't enjoy the prestige he used to!  Aren't most Christian people aware of the stereotype now?...  Do people still need convinced that the worship songs are too shallow, and that lyrics are theologically in error? LATER: What time is it RIGHT NOW? What does this hour call for?   Do we need to keep talking about the threat of liberalism/Feminism and the trans-ideology?  Or do we need to look ahead and see the ditch that our brothers are careening toward?  (That ditch, by the way, is Conspiracy Theories and racism.)  Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com .   

What started for us as a cozy holiday podcast about baking and cheer immediately became a field report on why camels should not freelance in live nativities.We bounce from cookie dough confessions to seasonal overconfidence, discovering that December mainly exists to test how much butter one household can legally own.When the camel enters the story, we realize no one is ever emotionally prepared for an animal that treats biblical history as a suggestion.We then pivot hard into animal nutrition, confidently discussing what donkeys and goats should eat despite all available evidence suggesting goats reject authority entirely.A goat eating chili becomes our collective cautionary tale, complete with regret, dramatics, and the revelation that goats experience emotions mostly as performance art.We briefly wonder aloud about goat fight clubs, immediately deciding this is how podcasts accidentally get subpoenaed.Christmas gifting comes under review as we agree live goats are a liability, while goat-themed items offer the same charm with fewer emergency vet calls.

Hey, Neighbor, do you have any idea what Yuletide is?  Never mind... Luke has been tinkering with John's new (used) car. Isn't it GREAT to have family members who can help you with skills you don't have yourself?!  THEN: Showing John's video might have gotten a teacher fired... Kids need to be taught not to overreact and how to hold their bodies in a less-awkward way when they're on stage.  (We list several other odd human behaviors, which maybe aren't so odd after all...) LATER:  Some people don't have family because they have purposefully cut ties with everyone.  We talk about why that's sad.  Teach your kids to stay connected with their family! Emails us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to tell us what "odd" thing you do.

In this episode, we sit down with the purest of intentions and immediately derail into absolutely everything. We start by catching up on our week, which somehow includes community theater, a Christmas carol, and the realization that small-town productions carry higher emotional stakes than most blockbuster movies. From there, we naturally move into a very serious and completely authoritative discussion about orcs, goblins, and why fantasy creatures seem to have better branding than actual humans. Christmas movies also come under fire, especially the question no one wants to ask out loud: what exactly were the stakes in Home Alone, and why did an entire generation decide booby traps were a reasonable life skill? Somewhere between confessing our household maintenance failures and acknowledging projects that will never be finished, we introduce “the brick,” a digital detox tool designed to help us stop staring at our phones like they personally wronged us. That opens the door to a broader conversation about distractions, modern communication, and why texting feels emotionally hollow unless it’s padded with an irresponsible number of exclamation points. Naturally, this all slides into conspiracy territory. We explore the mysterious Tartarian civilization, debate the moon landing with just enough confidence to be alarming, and talk about how AI is quietly shaping what we believe, what we doubt, and what keeps showing up in everyone’s feed. Accents and cultural stereotypes make an appearance too, not because we planned it, but because they tend to sneak into conversations whether invited or not. By the end, we’ve questioned reality, Christmas, technology, history, and whether or not it's reasonable to use a single emoji as a response to every situation. 

In this festive—and mildly chaotic—episode, we dive head-first into the wonderfully unpredictable world of children’s Christmas productions. Sure, adults dream of polished performances, but let’s be honest: the magic is in the mayhem. A sheep costume held together with hope, a shepherd who suddenly decides he’s done shepherding, and a Wise Man who moonwalks across the stage—this is the good stuff. It’s also a reminder that nostalgia is a powerful filter… because somehow we forget that our own childhood pageants looked like a dress rehearsal for herding cats. We also tackle the evolving role of Santa Claus, who now shares top billing with commercialism, candy canes, and whatever new toy requires a second mortgage. And when it comes to telling your kids about Santa? We discuss the delicate balance between “preserving the magic” and “accidentally launching a career in investigative journalism.” Asking questions, it turns out, might be safer than crafting a 14-chapter North Pole backstory. Music makes an appearance too—specifically those songs that lodge themselves in your brain and refuse to pay rent. We talk about how learning the missing lyrics can finally set you free, and how modern AI is now helping create songs you’ll be annoyed by in half the time. Add in family games, awkward commercials that break every emotional moment, kids’ songs that permanently alter the atmosphere of your home, and the amusingly alarming side effects of modern medicine, and you’ve got a holiday episode packed with cheer, chuckles, and just enough chaos to feel authentic. It’s Christmas culture, comedy, and parental therapy wrapped in one giant, glitter-covered bow. Enjoy!

Never trust a Branyan with an open fire, Neighbor! We have too many "fire hazard" stories to count...Then:  John wants to talk about the problem of the declining population.  But is it really a problem after all???   Contact the Comedian's family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com 

In this episode we open with the revelation that the human mouth is essentially a musical instrument, which finally explains why our conversations occasionally sound like experimental jazz. From there we jump straight into Christmas, comparing the holiday of yesteryear with today’s version where Black Friday has migrated online and become a competitive sport with shopping carts instead of helmets. Our own experiences weave through the chaos, shaping the way we see holiday traditions and reminding us that nothing says “festive spirit” quite like the stories you never intended to collect. Animals enter the chat, of course. They always do. We talk squirrels with tactical instincts, sloths operating on a different calendar entirely, and koalas who avoid being hunted purely on the strength of their terrible flavor profile. Nature stays weird, and we stay entertained. The food theme escalates with bear meat, which apparently requires a preparation process similar to assembling a complicated piece of furniture. Then we pivot to winter driving, because nothing bonds people like recounting close calls with icy roads. We cover the importance of practicing on slick surfaces, understanding vehicle technology, and avoiding the sort of spin you usually only see in Olympic skating. Christmas gigs make an appearance too, because performers in December run on adrenaline, cookies, and questionable scheduling decisions. We explore what it means to look for connection in communities where everyone seems to be part of a decades-long group chat you weren’t added to. Along the way we note that love often hides inside social events you didn’t even want to attend, waiting for you to bump into it on your way to the snack table. By the end, we’ve toured holiday chaos, wildlife quirks, culinary adventures, winter survival skills, and the unpredictable paths that open when you say yes to new experiences. And somehow it all fits perfectly into one conversation.

Andrew is at the table, and he wrecked his car this week. THEN: The Peaches has a BONE TO PICK with Andrew!  (Sometimes he's just toooooo nice.)   What is the Christian's responsibility when trying to influence a non-believing roommate/tennant?  AND, LATER: Should pastors marry two non-believers, just for a chance to share the Gospel? Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com 

Thanksgiving gets a full roast this episode as we dive into the annual paradox of expressing gratitude while elbowing strangers for the last can of cranberry sauce. We swap stories about chaotic grocery runs, family traditions that include creatively vandalizing greeting cards, and the unspoken rule that certain topics are banned at dinner unless you want to watch Uncle Larry spontaneously combust. We tackle the spiritual mystery of why Thanksgiving and Black Friday sit next to each other on the calendar like a wholesome nun sharing a bunk bed with a pickpocket. There’s also talk of buffet lines, questionable food preferences, holiday decorating schedules that start before the dishes are washed, and the alarming number of Pop-Tart flavors that should not exist. Basically, it’s a lighthearted stroll through the commercialization of gratitude season, where everyone insists they’re thankful while also fighting for parking spots like it’s the Hunger Games.

The sermon was great this morning! And the preaching minister isn't the same guy as the "senior minister," which is fairly cool.  How many "senior ministers" are willing to NOT be the guy doing most of the talking from stage?Anyway--what the heck does Valerian Root do?  And which theme park rides are least likely to make John want to vomit?  That's connected to the sermon about anxiety somehow...THEN: The Peaches went to a private, Christian University, and now her fellow students are mostly insane.  Here's a New York Times article written by somebody she actually shared space with for a couple years...The wife in the story was The Peaches' RA. (Spoiler: wife wanted to practice a "non-monogamous" marriage for awhile, until they finally divorced.) John and Luke both want to know WHAT HAPPENED at that school (and many others) to cause all the "Christian" kids to lose their minds?Contact the Comedian's Family by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com 

Juan is prepping to preach a sermon so we're helping him! We wander through the strange intersection where humor, faith, and hope all try to share the same crosswalk without causing a theological traffic jam. We chat about what actually goes on behind the scenes of podcasting, how we pretend to prepare sermons, and why sneaking humor into preaching should probably count as a spiritual gift. Somewhere between laughing at ourselves and trying to sound wise, we tackle hope, Christmas, Advent, and the many creative ways humans navigate the emotional roller coaster between despair and optimism. We even take a stab at explaining the difference between faith and hope, mostly by admitting that perspective matters and that ours isn’t always the most reliable. With our usual mix of jokes, confessions, and “please don’t quote us on this,” we reflect on everyday struggles and why keeping hope alive in a complicated world feels a lot like trying to keep a candle lit in a wind tunnel.

John just got back from a men's retreat, and it was OBVIOUS that women were not involved with the planning! (He explains what that means...) The Peaches shares a story of the GROSSEST thing her brother ever did... and the MANLIEST apartment she ever tried to clean...   Then:  We answer a listener question about how to know when it's time to leave your church.  What if there's a problem with immodesty among certain young ladies?  Email us, Neighbor! Sometimes we respond! Nextdoor@johnbranyan.com

In this grand saga of collective oversharing, we heroically wander through the conversational wilderness, armed only with nostalgia and questionable transitions. We reminisce about our glory days of rehearsal (which helped no one), recount our noble battles with Southern snow (mostly fought from the comfort of our driveways), and debate the ethics of eating deer while pretending we’re food critics. One minute we’re comparing duck blinds, the next we’re knee-deep in pajama theory, wondering how humanity ever survived the drop-seat era. We take bold detours into hygiene history, because nothing says entertainment like the evolution of soap. Our laughter veers between the profound and the slightly concerning, and by the end, we’ve somehow tied together sledding, venison, and bathroom humor into one frostbitten tapestry of self-discovery. It’s less a podcast, more a group therapy session for people who own too many flannel shirts.

Welcome to the frozen tundra where we are currently living, Neighbor!  It's snowing! Luke has been trying in vain to bag a deer this season. But at least he has some SWEET socks!  What are the similarities between a man in a deer stand and a woman shopping for cloth diapers?  (We spend a SHOCKINGLY long time parsing through this.)   How many eggs are too many eggs? Finally, we get around to bringing up Candace Owens and the insane cult behavior that may be more prevalant than the Peaches originally thought. So what do you think, Neighbor?  Send us your insights by emailing nextdoor@johnbranyan.com . 

We've been diving headfirst into the health rabbit hole, and frankly, we're not sure if we came out better or just more confused. On this episode, we tried to sound like we know what we're talking about as we explored everything from holistic doctors (who tell you your favorite snack is basically poison) to the ancient, confusing art of grounding (are we just supposed to hug a tree?). We also tackled the great health debate: supplements vs. whole foods. Why take a synthetic pill when you can just eat an entire kale farm, right? Oh, and did we mention parasites? Yes, we went there. Because nothing says "funny podcast" like discussing the creepy crawlies potentially residing inside you. We also shared some questionable home remedies that probably won't cure you, but might give you a good story. Then, we veered wildly into the chaos that is modern life! We lamented the utterly unrealistic health goals plastered all over social media—seriously, who has time for perfect yoga poses AND a pristine lawn? Speaking of which, we complained bitterly about the soul-crushing labor of lawn care before moving onto the even greater torment: fishing with our children. (Spoiler: it involves a lot of untangling and zero fish.) To top it all off, we reminisced about the trauma of our childhood pets, finally concluding with the truly brilliant idea one of us had to own a piranha. Because clearly, we never learned any life lessons about boundaries or common sense. Basically, we proved that health, parenting, and pet ownership are all just a series of absurd, hilarious mistakes.

Welcome! We kick off this episode talking about hunting season, and all the things Luke has lost in the woods so far...  Next, John thinks Church People should be more "clique-ish."   But--his thoughts are interrupted by Cami and Collin, who found something HILARIOUS on Google Maps.  It's a 13-year dream come true for John!  Later, what's the opposite of joining a "clique?"  Wouldn't it be joining a group of people who don't like spending time together?   FINALLY: we share listener answers to the punchline challenge!  Thanks for playing our game with us, Neighbor! Email the Comedian's family at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com.

We dove headfirst into a sugar coma and called it a conversation. We covered everything—music, Halloween, and candy—basically the holy trinity of chaos. We started off pretending to be intellectuals discussing the “accessibility of musical instruments,” which quickly devolved into us arguing about who still owns a recorder and why. Then we slid into Halloween like adults who still think pillowcases make the best candy bags. We reminisced about trick-or-treating, back when we had functioning knees and strangers weren’t handing out toothpaste. We waxed poetic about decorations—because nothing says “festive spirit” like accidentally impaling yourself on a plastic tombstone in the yard. Of course, we analyzed candy with the seriousness of food critics. We debated hard candy versus gummy like philosophers who’ve clearly lost control of their lives, and then somehow invented the idea of a “chocolate apocalypse,” where everyone’s just bartering for Snickers. Naturally, we ended up bragging about our old Halloween costumes—because nothing says confidence like admitting we once wore a trash bag and called it a “grim reaper cloak.” We even wandered into haunted houses and Judgment Houses, which, honestly, felt a little too real. Turns out we like being terrified, as long as it’s in a controlled environment with snacks.

Welcome, Neighbor! Maybe you've noticed that fall is waning! And winter is... something. We'll start off quizzing John for hipness, and he does not pass.  THEN, the story of the Cracked Toilet... and are angels clean-shaven, or do they have beards?  AND, help us come up with a good punchline for this prompt!  What name would you give to an award show/ceremony for mediocre movies?  (The computer's answer was "the Descents."  But we can do better.) LATER,  why do we have so many friends being disfellowshipped from their churches after years of faithfulness?  Maybe parents and church leaders are struggling to discipline their toddlers in order to RESPECT their teenagers.(Also, should parents hide knives from a 14-year-old?) Email us at nextdoor@johnbranyan.com to share your comments and quotes.