Good Vibes Leadership with Bernadette Smith

SummaryI spent about 15 hours on three slide decks for a training day, then handed them to my collaborators, people on my team with a different background from mine. I expected the decks to look different. What I didn’t expect was that they’d keep my concepts and have the attendees study their own team the way an outsider would, which changed how the whole room took in the ideas. This episode is about what it’s like when someone else’s perspective changes who your audience gets to be, and what happened to my ego along the way.TakeawaysExpect different thinking, not different packaging. Diverse perspectives can change how people experience the content, not only how it looks.Give people a role. Same concepts, different role, a completely different way to be in the room.Ego is a bruise. When a revision makes you flinch, name one thing in it that’s better than what you had before you respond.Anchor to the client. “Everything we’re doing is in service to the client” moves you from my draft to our work.Good Vibe to Go: It’s WNBA Finals season, and there have been plenty of good vibes in these games. Game 5 is tonight!Connect with MeThe Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about late-night soccer in New York, free prescriptions at Walmart, the first county in the nation to pass paid parental leave, and a historic election in Brazil. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.Work with Me: Let’s talk.Watch 5 Things on YouTube. Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/

SummaryThis week I’m talking about hierarchy, because it keeps coming up in our focus groups and workshops. One person told us about a manager who raged, used some nasty words, and then came back twenty minutes later to sincerely apologize. Their friend would have gone straight to HR. I walk through the two questions I use to decide what to do, how safe do I feel and is this a pattern, and a one-word move that might be easier than you think.TakeawaysHierarchy changes the math. When someone signs your review, speaking up costs something different than it does with a peer.Grace and HR are both real choices. Neither one is wrong, and what you pick is yours.Two questions help you decide. How safe do I feel? Is this a pattern?A direct sentence can be tiny. It can be as simple as one word, like “Ouch.”Connect with MeThe Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about paid safe leave at Tesco, free tuition for Indigenous languages, and period products in stadium restrooms. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.Work with Me: Let’s talk.Watch 5 Things on YouTube.Good Vibe to Go: My friend Rhodes Perry’s new program and book, Lead Embodied. Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/

Takeaways"We" is a leadership tool. It is the most powerful word you have, and the easiest to use without checking who it covers.You don't need new vocabulary. If you're afraid of saying the wrong thing, you need one question, not a new script.Use the ARC Method. Ask who you mean, respect what you hear, and connect it to one small change.Practice in one meeting. Count your "we"s, pick one, and ask who it included.Good Vibe to GoSpeaking of we, how about we vote together? Make it more fun by organizing a group voting party within your existing social or community network. Vote Early Day is October 24 and here's a toolkit to help you organize.Connect with MeThe Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about banking that finally listens, opera for all, a friendlier Friendly Confines, and more. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.Work with Me: Let's talk.Watch 5 Things on YouTube.  Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/

Bernadette's most vulnerable talk yet started with a mistake she made on stage. Instead of burying it, she built an entire keynote around what opens up right after the "oh crap" moment. This episode walks through the CRAP Method, her framework for recovering out loud instead of performing your way past a mistake, and makes the case that perfectionism has never actually built trust on any team.Takeaways:Perfectionism isn't a flex. It never built trust on a team. Authenticity does.CRAP stands for something real: compassion, regulation, authenticity, and play, in that order.Recovery is a skill, not an instinct. Most of us were only ever taught to hide mistakes, not recover from them out loud.The reflection to sit with: what would change if your team saw you recover instead of just watching you perform?Connect with MeThe Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about Patagonia turning voting into a team sport, a boxing gym that actually listened, grief getting time off in Britain, and more. http://www.theequalityinstitute.com/5-thingsWork with Me: https://www.bernadettesmith.comWatch on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@bernadettesmith  Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/

A few years ago, my firm was asked to deliver 5,000 licenses of our micro-learning product. Hours after the email that the project was a go, I randomly read an article revealing that the company provided ICE detention facilities. I declined, and that triggered the scarcity mindset I inherited from my parents. In this episode, I talk about the sentence that makes a compromise feel okay, and the two questions I'd ask the next time you catch yourself saying it.Takeaways:Catch your justification sentence. The line that makes a compromise sound okay is the one worth writing down.Ask what it's getting you out of. A justification usually gets you out of the hard part, so name the hard part.Ask what you'd tell someone else. You probably already know what you'd say to a colleague in the same spot.Draw your lines before the check shows up. Write down two or three things you won't do for money while nothing is on the line.Connect with MeThe Newsletter: This week in the newsletter, I wrote about dyed hair and hijabs at a convenience store chain, Canada retiring an outdated rule, NYC's new public bathrooms, autism response training that helped save a toddler, and what happened when states ended subminimum wage. Subscribe to the 5 Things Newsletter here.Work with Me: Let's talk.Watch 5 Things on YouTube. Join thousands of readers by subscribing to the 5 Things newsletter. Enjoy some good vibes every Saturday morning. https://5thingsdei.com/