Handful of Leaves | Mindfulness & Buddhism in Everyday Life

Resilient. Strong. Got their sh*t together. Are these words used to describe you? But deep down, do you struggle with embracing vulnerability, fearing you'll become a burden, to even the closest around you?" She was the epitome of success—thriving in the corporate world, a respected Nominated MP, and happily married. Yet, life had its own plans and threw her into a “colossal collapse” of a broken heart, a broken marriage, and a broken bank account. And that deep dark place was also the birthplace of wisdom for her when she realised that she didn’t have to do it all, alone.  Join Anthea Ong on her empowering journey as she unveils: The transformative power of vulnerability Human to Human Connections: Deepening authentic, genuine relationships Learning how to set boundaries and avoid oversharing Bonus: Feeling like you’re a burden to others? Anthea offers two refreshing takes on this! Transcript here: ⁠https://bit.ly/hol-giveaway-29⁠ About Our Guest: Anthea Ong served as a Nominated Member of Parliament from 2018–2020 in the 13th Parliament of Singapore. As a self-described “fultime human being, part-time everything else”, she is a mental health advocate, social entrepreneur and impact investor, life and leadership coach, strategy consultant, yoga and wellness instructor and author, amongst many other roles. She is never seen without headgear to match her multiple hats. WIN A FREE EXPERIENCE: We're giving away 1 complimentary seat (worth $68) to the Hush Tea Bar experience that's happening on the 29th July 2023. It's a 90-min experience with tea appreciation, sign learning and mindful reflection led by the Deaf. To stand a chance to win this. Check out our ⁠Instagram⁠ to learn how. Timestamps:  (00:00): Introductions (01:49): Vulnerability means Love and Relief / We are never so vulnerable as when we love (05:37): Overcoming the shame of being vulnerable (08:50):  Vulnerability is key to human connection (10:03):  Vulnerability with boundaries (15:11): Using Vulnerability to understand and end one’s suffering (16:48): Vulnerability with Purpose (25:34): Helping others feel more comfortable with vulnerability (29:18): Vulnerability at the workplace (34:34): Seeing our leaders as humans too (37:50): Ideas for book titles on vulnerability Resources: ⁠50 Shades of Love⁠ ⁠Hush TeaBar⁠ - HUSH started in 2014 as a volunteer-run ground-up initiative before becoming a social enterprise in 2016 where we have mostly given employment and empowerment opportunities to Deaf persons and Hearing persons in recovery from mental health conditions.  SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw, Gillian Ang Editor and transcriber of this episode: Tee Ke Hui, Cheryl Cheah, Koh Kai Xin

In episode 28, we speak to the Group CEO of Etonhouse International Holdings - Singapore, Ng Yi-Xian who oversees schools from infant care to high school in 11 countries across 120 campuses. We discuss how mindfulness has changed his life, shaped his leadership and a lot more:  🧘🏻How mindfulness supported him in the toughest time in his career 🤟🏻The idea of stupid grit 👔How he balances advocating mindfulness and respecting boundaries in the workplace 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦 How he manages to find time to meditate while taking care of 22,003 kids under his care Mr. Ng Yi-Xian oversees the operations of the EtonHouse International Education Group which runs schools from infant care to high school in 11 countries across 120 campuses. As a second-generation entrepreneur and son of founder Ng Gim Choo, he is driven to take the group to the next level — he has been instrumental in the creation of new brands such as the Middleton International School, a revolutionary niche of affordable international schools in Singapore and The Eton Academy, that provides inquiry-led academic enrichment programmes from Nursery to Primary 6. Prior to joining EtonHouse, Mr. Ng worked in a Hedge Fund in the United States. In his free time, he enjoys the outdoors, adventure sports, and pursuing mindfulness as he leads the culture of mindfulness and well-being in the organisation. A father of twin boys and a girl, Yi-Xian is experiencing the joys and challenges of parenthood while he also oversees the education and well-being of more than 20,000 students in the EtonHouse schools. Transcript here: https://bit.ly/hol-ep-28- Timestamps: (03:00): Challenges faced in taking over Etonhouse (06:00): Knowing your red zone and staying out of it (07:30): Mindfulness as a lifetime adventure to Yi-xian (09:17): Near-Death Experience (12:00): As a Father of 3, where do you find time to go for retreats? (13:08): Burnout and retreats. Different experiences from each experience (19:49): Two would-be lies and being called a hypocrite (21:00): Respecting other people’s boundaries with mindfulness in the corporate setting (22:30): God and mindfulness (25:43): Who would you be without mindfulness? (26:51): Cheryl’s perspective on the question (29:00): Kai Xin’s AnE experience (20:59): Does mindfulness make one more obedient? (33:05): Stupid grit (35:27): Yi-Xian’s experiences with the Jhanas (40:58): Enlightenment, maybe not Resources: About Jhanas: https://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/gunaratana/wheel351.html SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw. Editor and transcriber of this episode: Tee Ke Hui, Cheryl Cheah, Koh Kai Xin

Are you someone who constantly seeks to go above and beyond, setting high standards for yourself? Join us as we delve into the fascinating world of overachievers with Ven Damcho and explore the intricate dynamics that drive their relentless pursuit of success. 🔍 Explore the hidden manifestations of overachieving and learn how to recognise them. 💪 Harness pain as a catalyst for success and avoid the traps that lead to more pain. ⚖️ Find your centre amidst the Eight Worldly Winds. ✨ 4 essential aspects of striving skillfully. Transcript: http://bit.ly/hol-pod-ep-30 About our guest: Venerable Thubten Damcho is a Buddhist nun residing at Sravasti Abbey, one of the first Tibetan Buddhist training monasteries in the United States. Born and raised in Singapore, she graduated from Princeton University in 2006 and worked as a high school teacher and public policy analyst in the Singapore government before returning to the U.S. to take novice ordination in 2013. She tells her story in The Straits Times Singapore. Venerable Damcho's monastic life is rich and varied. She serves as assistant to Sravasti Abbey’s founder, author and well-known Buddhist teacher Venerable Thubten Chodron. Her other responsibilities range from translating Chinese texts into English to removing weeds from the Abbey's 300-acre property. Venerable Damcho has given Dharma talks in Spokane, Idaho, California, India, and Singapore. She was the Chinese-English interpreter at a full ordination program in Taiwan in 2019, and has studied Tibetan through Maitripa College and with other teachers since 2017. Timestamps: [00:00:16] Introductions [00:01:34] Do you consider yourself an overachiever? [00:05:03] Recognising one’s overachieving tendencies & manifestations [00:10:57] Pain leading to more pain. Pain leads to less pain. [00:12:57] Finding one’s centre amidst the Eight Worldly Winds [00:17:02] Internal and External Drivers of Skillful and Unskillful Striving [00:28:15] Finding a balance between Striving and Contentment [00:31:47] Internal signpost for skilful striving [00:33:40] Understanding the competitive mind [00:36:48] Sympathetic Joy as an Antidote to Jealousy and Arrogance [00:40:18] Aspects of Skillful Striving - Aspiration, Reflection, Joy, Rest Special thanks to our sponsors: Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw, Gillian Ang, Loo Tiong Ngee. Editor and transcriber of this episode: Tee Ke Hui, Cheryl Cheah, Koh Kai Xin Get connected here:Telegram Instagram Facebook YouTube

It's easy to condemn the actors as 'selfish', or 'stupid' to throw everything away, including their careers, reputation and one can only imagine the negative consequences on their families and spouses. What is really going on in the mind of people who have affairs? In the latest episode, we speak to Jason*, who has both been someone who cheated on as well as someone who was cheated on in his past relationships to understand what's beneath the surface, to see the human behind the 'cheater', and explore what we can do to move forward and forgiving oneself and others. Note: this episode was recorded before the recent scandal and aimed to offer a different perspective and reflection on the same topic. Transcript: https://bit.ly/hol-pod-ep-31 Timestamps: [00:00] Introductions [00:54] Experience of cheating and being cheated on [05:49] Getting to the root cause [08:57] Creating the conditions to not hurt others [09:48] Mind is the forerunner of all states [10:15] Morality and Right Effort [11:31] Moving on with forgiveness, self-love and Right Effort [15:32] Finding closure with your ex-partner [16:23] Giving yourself closure [17:34] Summary and wrap up Special thanks to our sponsors: Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Arif, Bernice, Wee Teck, Andrew Yam, Kan Rong Hui, Wei Li Quek, Shirley Shen, Ezra, Joanne Chan, Hsien Li Siaw, Gillian Ang, Loo Tiong Ngee Editor and transcriber of this episode: Tee Ke Hui, Cheryl Cheah, Koh Kai Xin

In this fire-round episode, Ven Damcho will answer 5 top-rated questions you asked on Telegram about masturbation, lust, kinks and more! Join our Telegram Handful of Leaves to be part of the conversation! ABOUT OUR GUESTS: Venerable Thubten Damcho is a Buddhist nun residing at Sravasti Abbey, one of the first Tibetan Buddhist training monasteries in the United States. Born and raised in Singapore, she graduated from Princeton University in 2006 and worked as a high school teacher and public policy analyst in the Singapore government before returning to the U.S. to take novice ordination in 2013. She tells her story in The Straits Times Singapore. Venerable Damcho's monastic life is rich and varied. She serves as assistant to Sravasti Abbey’s founder, author and well-known Buddhist teacher Venerable Thubten Chodron. Her other responsibilities range from translating Chinese texts into English to removing weeds from the Abbey's 300-acre property. Venerable Damcho has given Dharma talks in Spokane, Idaho, California, India, and Singapore. She was the Chinese-English interpreter at a full ordination program in Taiwan in 2019, and has studied Tibetan through Maitripa College and with other teachers since 2017. ---- Wilson Ng: Navigating the uncertain waters of love and lust while learning to accept his sexuality, Wilson has learnt a lot from the mistakes made. He is learning to accept himself for his attachment to lust and to see the inherently unsatisfactory nature of sex and lust. Transcript: https://bit.ly/hol-bonus-ep (0:00) What does Buddhism say about Masturbation? (2:46) How do monastics skilfully relate to sexual desire? (4:20) Importance of spiritual friendship in navigating desire-related afflictions (6:14) Dealing with lustful thoughts while in a committed relationship (9:31) Self-awareness of own identity & respect for others’ identity SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Tan Key Seng Editor and transcriber of this episode: Tee Ke Hui, Cheryl Cheah Get connected here: ⁠⁠⁠Telegram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠⁠ ⁠⁠⁠Facebook⁠

"Sex" and "the Buddhist." Two words you rarely hear in a sentence! Buddhism is always associated with meditating or chanting and "purity." While that is an important path of the practice, let's not forget the human behind the Buddhist, where our sexuality, sexual relations and desires can play a big part of our lives as we navigate sometimes messy and chaotic adulthood. We'll do the topic that nobody wants to talk about. In this episode, you will be hearing new voices on the show! Wilson and Cheryl will be partnering up as co-hosts, and we dive into this topic with Venerable Damcho, a nun based in Sravasti Abbey. 🧐What can we learn about sex from a fully celibate monastic? Keep an open mind and come and find out for yourselves! We cover: 🤭What's a healthy way to think about sex? 🙀Is porn destroying your sex life? 🙂Don't settle for Grade F Happiness 😩If lust is consuming your mind.... here's the antidote And many more! ABOUT OUR GUESTS: Venerable Thubten Damcho is a Buddhist nun residing at Sravasti Abbey, one of the first Tibetan Buddhist training monasteries in the United States. Born and raised in Singapore, she graduated from Princeton University in 2006 and worked as a high school teacher and public policy analyst in the Singapore government before returning to the U.S. to take novice ordination in 2013. She tells her story in The Straits Times Singapore. Venerable Damcho's monastic life is rich and varied. She serves as assistant to Sravasti Abbey’s founder, author and well-known Buddhist teacher Venerable Thubten Chodron. Her other responsibilities range from translating Chinese texts into English to removing weeds from the Abbey's 300-acre property. Venerable Damcho has given Dharma talks in Spokane, Idaho, California, India, and Singapore. She was the Chinese-English interpreter at a full ordination program in Taiwan in 2019, and has studied Tibetan through Maitripa College and with other teachers since 2017. ---- Wilson Ng: Navigating the uncertain waters of love and lust while learning to accept his sexuality, Wilson has learnt a lot from the mistakes made. He is learning to accept himself for his attachment to lust and to see the inherently unsatisfactory nature of sex and lust. TRANSCRIPT: https://bit.ly/hol-ep-27 (0:00) Introductions (1:07) How is sex different from other sensual pleasures? (5:09) Why is sex such a taboo in the education system and in society? (8:32) Helpful conversations to understand the causes, conditions and effects of our sexuality (13:52) Living with our desires as lay Buddhists with kindness and wisdom (18:03) Reflecting on the kindness of others to remedy a transactional mindset (21:23) The mind of attachment projects unrealistic expectations of others (26:45) The drawbacks of porn consumption on individuals and society (33:22) Impact of Pornography on Masculinity and Treatment of Women (37:33) Facilitating discussions on sexuality in the classroom with mindfulness (39:59) Wisdom as an Antidote to Attachment, Craving is never satisfied by fulfilling it (43:44) Don’t settle for Grade F happiness, strive for Grade A happiness! RESOURCES: Exploring Monastic Life program at Sravasti Abbey Our abbess Venerable Thubten Chodron teaches often on the kindness of others Her book Guided Buddhist Meditations is a great resource for analytic meditation The Mask You Live In Miss Representation SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS: Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña, Shuo Mei, Editor and transcriber of this episode: Tee Ke Hui, Cheryl Cheah Get connected here: ⁠⁠Telegram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook

Forget the avengers. Hiri & Otappa are taught to be the guardians of the world. In this episode, learn from Sis Miyen about Hiri & Otappa: simply translated as **wise** fear and shame. 🔸How can Hiri & Otappa lead us to peace? 🔸Common misconceptions about these two words. And many more! ABOUT OUR GUEST: Low Mi Yen, a clinical psychologist and one of Malaysia’s foremost proponents of the application of psychology, mindfulness and self-compassion, for individual, couple, family, workplace and community, for more than 27 years. Pioneered Employee Assistance Program (EAP) in Malaysia since 1999, providing corporate training, coaching, crisis intervention, psychotherapy, psychological assessment, lecturing and supervision, mindfulness and self-compassion interventions in enhancing resilience. TRANSCRIPT: https://bit.ly/hol-pod-26 TIMESTAMP: (00:00): Introduction (03:23): What is Hirī & Otappa? (07:30): Don't mix up Hirī Otappa with Kukkucca. What's the difference? (09:18): Eight factors that can help us to facilitate or cultivate Hirī and Ottappa (11:58): How Hirī and Ottappa can lead to peace, story of Kai Xin's moral dilemma (17:32): How do we know what's really a good deed? (20:50): Your conscience and long-term happiness or keeping the precepts (25:00): Treasure Dhana Sutta, the Seven Noble Treasures (30:00): Is ignorance bliss? RESOURCES: Discourses on the topic of Hiri & Otappa: Kaṇha Sutta, AN 2.7Sukka Sutta, AN 2.8Cariya Sutta, AN 2.9 Hiri & Ottappa - The Guardians of the World are two of the seven Noble Treasures -Treasure Dhana Sutta (AN 7:5, AN 7:6) Quick learning on Hiri & Otappa: Definition of Hiri and Ottappa – Youtube by Bhikkhu Bodhi (8min) 24 July 2021 Definition of Hiri and Ottappa - Ajahn Chah: Intelligent Shame (Youtube by Ajahn Jayasaro (6min) 10 Feb 2008 Step-by-step learning https://www.fourthmessenger.org/dhamma-studies-1/unit-1/lesson-1-2-hiri-ottappa/ KUKKUCCHA: Remorse & guilt = feelings that arise after bad action is committedKukkucca often discussed together with uddhacca (restlessness), both uddhacca-kukkucca isthe 4th of the 5 hindrances in our meditation practice. Refer to the full text of “The FiveMental Hindrances and Their Conquest” by Nyanaponika Therahttps://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel026.html SPECIAL THANKS TO OUR SPONSORS FOR THE PODCAST: Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña. Editor and transcriber of this episode: Tee Ke Hui Get connected here: ⁠⁠Telegram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Instagram⁠⁠ ⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠ ⁠⁠Facebook

What do you say to a loved one who is diagnosed with cancer? What would you do if you were diagnosed with cancer? Siew Lin shares her journey of battling cancer and leading a fulfilling life. Transcript: https://bit.ly/hol-pod-ep25 Timestamp: (00:00): What happened before the recording (02:49): Introduction, how it all started (07:56): The sudden jump from stage 0 to stage 4 (10:06): Coming to accept (11:50): How is the ideal response to a person diagnosed with cancer? (16:55): The worst thing to say to a person with cancer (19:31): Cancer treatment and the struggles (22:31): One step at a time and ways of coping (25:20): Changes in priorities and reflections (31:22): What do you want to leave behind (34:42): Cancer is just one chapter of your story Resources: Health Hub: Signs of breast cancer Reach to Recovery: Breast cancer support group National University Cancer Institute Singapore: Breast cancer support group Breast Cancer support group (Malaysia) Breast Cancer Foundation (Malaysia) Special thanks to our sponsor for this episode Buddhist Youth Network, Lim Soon Kiat, Alvin Chan, Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne, Suñña. Get connected here: ⁠Telegram⁠ ⁠Instagram⁠ ⁠YouTube⁠ ⁠Facebook

About our guest Kar Fei Kar Fei coaches and grows individuals and executives into high performers in life. His life is obsessed with this question, “How can we be the best version of ourselves, and be happy and fulfilled in our lives?“. He is part of the Hive Global Leadership Program (a community of leaders and entrepreneurs) and the Global Shapers Community by the World Economic Forum. He is also a TEDX Speaker, and a member of the Forbes Coaches council. Transcript: https://bit.ly/hol-pod-24 (00:00) Introductions (01:18) What does a successful relationship mean? (07:41) The importance of intimacy, passion, and commitment in a good relationship. (13:53) How do you find alignment when you’re so different? (16:51) Importance of shared vision in a relationship (21:07) The three key things in a long-term relationship - Vision, Values and Personal Traits (27:00) Is there a right time to have kids? (35:04) The two things that make or break communication in a relationship - Curiosity and Intention (39:29) Practical tips for being a supportive partner (46:37) A Buddhist perspective on Romantic Love - Anchored in Right View and Loving-Kindness Connect with Kar Fei IG: instagram.com/coachkarfei Linkedin: https://www.linkedin.com/in/karfeicheah/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/liferedesigned.co Coaching/Training: www.liferedesigned.co/corporate Resources:  Book: On Love, by Ajahn Jayasaro Book: How to love by Thich Nhat Hanh Does Buddhism support romantic love? By Thich Nhat Hanh Special thanks to our sponsors for this episode: Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne Get connected here: Telegram Instagram YouTube Facebook

From Childhood to Romance: The influence of our parents' relationship on our love lives. In this episode, we discuss how much we are influenced by the relationships modelled around us, understand different attachment styles, and find the root cause of our pain.  May, a senior psychologist also draws on her personal experiences and client stories to help us understand how our attachment wounds can manifest as relationship problems and how we can resolve them. More about Sis May Liu:  May Liu, a practising clinical psychologist cum caregiver, who believes in empowering lives by connecting with people. She is a mindfulness practitioner who is passionate about bringing mindfulness to families and couples. She is currently leading Seremban Sudhamma Sunday Dhamma School’s teens and children in learning the Dhamma through group work and exposure to nature. Transcript will be out on 24th Feb: https://bit.ly/3YUyTbk Timestamps:  (00:00) Introductions (03:46) Learning from relationships modelled around us (07:35) Being aware of how it affects us (11:03) Understanding our attachment wounds  (16:09) Being aware of the cause-and-effect (20:11) Sense of expectation for reciprocity (23:02) Contentment comes from understanding the nature of things (24:45) Understanding the narrative behind our emotions (29:14) Navigating different patterns of attachment (31:58) Practical advice on building stronger relationships Resources:  https://www.parallax.org/mindfulnessbell/article/flowers-in-the-dark/  Trauma and Beginning Anew: https://youtu.be/ljdsTSneYuY  Reconciliation by Thich Nhat Hanh: https://youtu.be/yka-3jPwX5M Special thanks to our sponsors for this episode: Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce, Tan Jia Yee, Joanne Get connected here: Telegram Instagram YouTube Facebook

After the death of her first love, all Cynthia wanted someone to take away all the hurt and pain. She realized, though, as she sat on her floor surrounded by tissues, that she would have to find a way to do it for herself. Through this search, she found that communication was key. If she wanted to change how she lived in the world she would have to change how she interacted with it, which meant changing how she talked with others and herself. When she learned the elements of Right Speech in Buddhism she knew she'd found her way out of suffering, yet she had no idea how actually to put the guidelines into practice, and so began her lifestyle experiment. And soon, the Kane Intentional Communication Practice was born. This practice has now been taught to more than 60k people and is changing marriages, work environments, family dynamics, friendships - lives. She also shares her work in her books: How to Communicate like a Buddhist,  Talk to Yourself like a Buddhist, How to Meditate like a Buddhist. Cynthia is offering a free mini-course to our listeners. It is called Communicate with Confidence: https://www.intentionalconversations.com/intentional-communication-challenge Transcript: https://bit.ly/hol-pod22 TimeStamp (00:00:00) Introductions (00:00:53) Using Right Speech and Meditation to move out of suffering (00:06:00) Changing the way we communicate with ourselves (00:09:18) Common communication patterns that give rise to conflict with others (00:13:08) Being firm but compassionate in our communication (00:16:28) Understanding our core emotions (00:20:49) How to argue without being too demanding? (00:26:56) How do we communicate when we have hurt others? (00:32:20) Communicating on bigger issues (00:37:49) Meeting in the middle (00:40:36) Ending a difficult conversation (00:43:01) Guided meditation More about Cynthia and her works: https://kanecommunicate.com/ https://cynthiakane.com/ Special thanks to our sponsors for this episode: Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee Hoon, Geraldine Tay, Venerable You Guang, Wilson Ng, Diga, Joyce Get connected here: Telegram Instagram YouTube Facebook

We've all felt lonely at some point(s) if our lives. But why do we feel lonely? What's the opposite of loneliness? And is there a way to be alone but not feel lonely? Find out more with our co-hosts Cheryl and Kai Xin as they chat with Heng Soon.  About the guest Teo Heng Soon (known as Soon in short) is a final year student at the University of Melbourne studying towards his passion of becoming a human capital consultant. Passionate about people, he has been a leader with multiple volunteer organisations like the Dyslexic Association of Singapore. Buddhist Fellowship Youth has been his Dhamma home for 12 years. Honing his leadership skills, he has learnt to give Dhamma talks and conduct workshops and sutta discussions. On a personal level, Soon is passionate about the arts - from Karate to Photography. Transcript here. Timestamp: (02:30): Going to the temple for the girls (04:29): Fitting in to feel less alone (05:55): Struggles with Dyslexia, Bullying (09:46): What’s the link between loneliness and essentialism (15:04): Everything is Dhamma (15:16): Kai Xin’s interpretation of Loneliness (22:45): Running away from Loneliness (25:39): The persistent theme of identity - “What am I?” (27:11): Being Alone is Not a Problem? (30:28): Suffering still won’t go away even if you’re enlightened (31:49): Letting go doesn’t mean you own nothing; but that nothing owns you. (35:16): Finding stillness in Seclusion: Soon’s reflection on his 2-week ordination journey (40:44): Tips to cope with loneliness: community, cognitive diffusion. Helpline: National Care Helpline: 1800-202-6868 SOS 24-hour Hotlines: 1800-221-4444 SOS 4-digit hotline: 1-767 Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019 Institute of Mental Health: 6389-2222 (24 hours) Tinkle Friend:1800-274-4788 (for primary school-aged children) Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin): 1800-353-5800 Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee,  Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee hoon, Wilson Ng, Geraldine Tay, Ven You Guang.

Amidst market turmoil, a looming recession and the Russia Ukraine war, the number of global tech layoffs has been rising at an alarming rate. These layoffs are also hitting really close to home. Singaporean employees are getting axed from top tech companies such as Microsoft, Twitter and Meta. This year alone, we have already seen 850 tech companies laying off a total of 136,000 employees so far, and this number has been rising gradually across the months.  We speak to Livia Lee, an ex- Meta Diversity Programme Specialist, and is one of the 11,000 people who are impacted by the layoffs in Meta globally.  We will be speaking to her about her experience, what has she learned throughout this entire layoff journey, and how can others take care of themselves in an uncertain job climate. And of course, how can you be a helping hand to friends and others experiencing a tough situation like this.  Timestamps:  (3:11): No Layoff experience is pleasant (5:37): 3 factors that affect how one experiences layoffs (7:03): A little bit of human never hurts. (8:53): Are you really grateful after being laid off? (11:26): The silver lining in an en masse layoff (16:56): Where do you place work in your life? (20:59): Advice for planning your career (21:32): Create a career experiment for your alternative paths (22:47): Ask yourself questions to clarify. (26:17): An unexpected gift from the layoff (28:02): Finding fulfillment outside of work (29:31): Advice from the Two Arrows Sutta (30:01): The first arrow that hits everyone (31:51): Shame in hiding our grief (38:23): Backup plan helps you to keep going Transcript here : http://bit.ly/3Wcmjn3 Resources: 9 things you can do for someone you know who got laid off recently The 8 worldly winds The arrow sutta Thank you to our sponsors for this episode: Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee,  Tan Key Seng, Soh Hwee hoon, Wilson Tan.

You don't have to be religious to practise mindfulness and meditation. But we also can't deny that there is a huge overlap between secular mindfulness and mindfulness in Buddhism. So what are the differences and why does it matter? And as Buddhists, how do you know if you are progressing on your path?  ----- About our guest:  Dr. Yeoh Kar Kheng has over 15 years of experience in practising and teaching Mindfulness and is a certified trainer under the Search Inside Yourself Leadership Institute, teaching scientific-based mindfulness and emotional intelligence curriculum developed and tested at Google. Dr Yeoh is also the founder and project leader of Mindful@Sejahtera, Mindfulness for Everyone Program under D’Home Mental Health Association, and the chairman of Malaysia Mindfulness Association. More about him Bite-sized videos about Mindfulness (In Mandarin)  LinkedIn  Timestamp: (0:40) : Dr Yeoh’s introduction to meditation and Buddhism (10:58) : Difference between secular and Buddhist meditation (11:52) : Mindfulness does not belong to Buddhists (17:42) : The 4Rs of mindfulness (20:27) : Buddhist mindfulness: Right mindfulness (21:31) : The Noble Eightfold Path (22:04) : Right View (22:57) :The Three characteristics of life (27:05) : The three ways of wisdom (27:31) : You don’t need to be a Buddhist to know these (33:46) : Wrong mindfulness (34:49) : What constitutes meditation? (42:15) : Not mindful, no problem (43:00) : Is there any way to know we are progressing? (43:25) : Are you merely a chicken who can sit still? Transcript:  bit.ly/3FsZKUa Resources:  10-day Vipassana meditation:  https://sg.dhamma.org/ https://www.dhamma.org/en/ The Noble Eightfold path Talk by Ajahn Sujato Thank you to our sponsors for this episode:  Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee, Siau Yan Chen, Tan Key Seng, Ven You Guang, Soh Hwee hoon, Wilson Tan.

Inevitably in life, we have to part ways with friends. Sometimes we break up involuntarily due to some misunderstandings, sometimes we deliberately choose to walk away from friends who are toxic. There is no one easy way to break up with friends.   In this episode, we have our special guests, Khema and Nalanda, from the u awake? podcast to chat about friendship breakups. Cheryl and Kai Xin, together with the guest shares their experiences of breaking up with friends and:  When do we walk away from friends?  How do we walk away from toxic friends?  Who should we associate with?  Transcript: bit.ly/hol-ep18-friendshipbreakups Timestamp:  (0:50): Nalanda – being ganged up on. (7:55): Khema – fading away from friends to heal from the past. (11:09): Cheryl – stopping contact due to one-sided romantic feelings. (14:15): Kai Xin – walking away from toxic friends. (17:12): Who is a good friend? Are you being judgemental? (25:48): Different categories of friends. (34:00): Sometimes it’s beneficial to be hurt from time to time. (35:06): Giving and taking. (35:39): How will the fools be wise if the wise don’t associate with them? (37:20): When should we break up with a friend? (43:09): We have the power to turn toxicity into wholesomeness too. (45:35): Good friends increase our chances to be enlightened. (47:21): How to cut off toxic friends? Check out u awake? podcast here: Instagram Spotify Readings:  Mangala Sutta Two kinds of friends, Ajahn Jayasaro Thank you to our sponsors of this episode: Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee, Siau Yan Chen, Tan Key Seng, Ven You Guang, Soh Hwee hoon, Wilson Tan. Help sponsor our efforts to make Buddhist teachings applicable to daily life here: http://handfulofleaves.life/support Got a comment about the podcast? Share your thoughts on our Telegram channel: https://t.me/handfulofleaves

As we move into adulthood, the pursuit for independence can be at odds with our parent's wishes, especially in the Asian context. We may not agree with our parents on what's best for us (career, relationship, lifestyle etc). We may stop showing affection towards them. And along the way, that might leave them feeling hurt or abandoned.  In this episode, Cheryl and Kai Xin chat about  Their relationships with their parents. Moving out  Not pursuing the career that most parents think is 'good' Saying "I love you" to parents  Dealing with Toxic parents  Ways to repay our parents  Transcript here: bit.ly/3X4JjoP Timestamp: (1:56): Are you filial? (5:50): Kai Xin’s relationship with parents (8:16): Cheryl’s relationship with her mother (11:02): Love or views? (14:06): Conflict-averse and wanting independence (15:01): Do first and ask for forgiveness later (20:08): I know better than you! (22:21): Kai Xin the Rebel (27:10): Do you say I love you to your parents? (30:58): Tips to communicate with your parents in conflict (38:44): How to repay your parents? (43:48): What if your parents are of a different faith? Thank you our sponsors to this podcast: Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee, Siau Yan Chen, Tan Key Seng, Ven You Guang, Soh hwee hoon, Wilson Tan. Support our efforts: https://handfulofleaves.life/support/

About Amy Edelstein:  IPPY-award winner and #1 Amazon bestselling author  Begun her own meditation practice in 1978, spent four decades practicing, studying, researching, writing about Founder of Inner Strength Education, which brings mindfulness, systems thinking, and social-emotional tools to under-resourced schools, training more than 17,000 teens in Philadelphia public high schools.  Created a trauma-informed free mindfulness app for teens Inner Strength VIBE, available on GooglePlay and App Stores.  Awarded a Philadelphia Social Innovation Award for her organisation’s work in Violence Reduction.  She is a Cornell University College scholar and the author of six books, including The Conscious Classroom. Transcript: here Timestamp:  (02:46): Amy and why she spent her 21st in the Himalayas (09:04): What is wisdom? (12:19): Learnings & experience in Zanskar (19:06): Do you need to go to the mountains to experience inner awakening? (22:41): Tapping into love amidst rising gun violence in the neighbourhood (26:44): Increasing our capacity to love ourselves (30:02): Severe Car Crash and mindfulness to rise above anxiety (36:13): Making meditation possible even if we're busy (40:12): How to choose your spiritual teacher to guide you (43:40): Where to find Amy's work and her new book More from Amy: Book: Adventure to Zanskar - A young woman’s solitary journey to reach physical and metaphysical heights Book: The conscious classroom - The Inner Strength System(TM) for Transforming the Teenage Mind FB: https://www.facebook.com/AmyEdelstein.Educator  IG: https://www.instagram.com/innerstrengtheducation/ Insight Timer Guided meditation  Special Thanks to: August Lum for creating the new sound track for our podcast: His work here  Sopisa for editing the transcript for this episode Special thanks to the sponsors of this podcast Siau Yen Chan Alvin Chan Lynn Leng V You Guang

Having suicidal thoughts is more common than we think. You never know who may be suicidal, it could be the person with the biggest smile in the room, your strongest parent, or even yourself. According to SOS Singapore, suicide is the leading cause of death for those between 10-29 years old. We hope that today’s episode will bring you hope if you’re feeling suicidal. Or if you know someone who is suicidal, this could perhaps help shed light on what they’re going through and how you can be of support to them. Note: The guest in this episode is kept anonymous and their voice is altered.  Transcript here GET CONNECTED: Telegram Instagram YouTube Facebook ---- Timestamps: (1:26): Guided meditation to arrive (2:59): Have you experienced suicidal thoughts before? (5:53): When was the first time you had suicidal thoughts before? (7:27): I want the pain to end. (9:49): Story about a teenage boy who wanted to end it all (13:42): How do you usually navigate conversations with suicidal people? (19:48): Everything is just bottled up (21:35): Two broad reasons on why are people suicidal ? (23:14): How can we help ourselves? (25:26): The 5 remembrances (25:50): Regulating yourself when emotions run high (28:14): Tying back to the 4 Noble Truths! (33:01): The question that we all did not have answers to! (36:39): The two bamboo acrobats (38:18): Gifts of pain (39:26): Last advice ---- Helpline:  National Care Helpline: 1800-202-6868 SOS 24-hour Hotlines: 1800-221-4444 SOS 4-digit hotline: 1-767 Singapore Association for Mental Health: 1800-283-7019 Institute of Mental Health: 6389-2222 (24 hours) Tinkle Friend:1800-274-4788 (for primary school-aged children) Care Corner Counselling Centre (Mandarin): 1800-353-5800 Resources to read:  https://www.sos.org.sg/blog/i-want-to-help-someone-who-has-suicidal-thoughts https://www.samaritans.org/how-we-can-help/if-youre-worried-about-someone-else/supporting-someone-suicidal-thoughts/ ---- Thank you our sponsors to this podcast: Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee, Siau Yan Chen, Tan Key Seng, Ven You Guang, Soh hwee hoon, Baey yuling, Megan Lim

How does an abundance mindset align with the Buddhist values and practice? Daylon shares personal stories of how moving away from the scarcity mindset has helped him in his life and career.   Daylon is a corporate executive turned education entrepreneur who runs a training institute, based in Singapore & Malaysia, focused on helping professionals and businesses grow their careers and business with User Experience (UX) Design and Product Management. Daylon is a Buddhist by faith and has been a pescatarian since 2016. More about Daylon and his work:  https://curiouscore.com/ https://sg.linkedin.com/in/daylonsoh Timestamp:  (0:40): Misconceptions about the abundance mindset (1:18): Introduction about the abundance mindset (2:28): Daylon says hello! (3:32): Abundance mindset helping in mid career transitions (4:13): Your mindset can make or break your business (5:05): Questions to determine whether you have the abundance or scarcity mindset? (7:28); Being blind to what you do already have. (8:51): Feeling not good enough can creep up to even the most unexpected person? (10:17): When did this sense of lack begin? (11:21): How the sense of superiority became a sense of inferiority. (13:17):The one factor to distinguish scarcity and abundance (15:29): Conditional vs unconditional mindset (16:37): No excuse for not putting in the work! (20:32): Unconditioning the mind’s subconscious scarcity (21:43): Competitiveness as the perfect example of scarcity mindset (23:01): Is the abundance mindset simply about wanting more and more? (24:00): The impermanence of everything (24:52): Tying abundance mindset to Buddhism (27:29): A muscle to be trained and acknowledging how difficult it is (30:50): Do not become like Mother Theresa (31:48): Cheryl’s aha moment! (32:47): Me vs We (33:21): The synergy in sharing! (34:11): What’s the next best intention that I can bring? (39:09): Two things Daylon did to force him out of a state of lack (42:21): Gifts for the listeners! Special thanks to our sponsors of this episode:  Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee, Siau Yan Chen, Tan Key Seng, Ven You Guang, Soh hwee hoon, Baey yuling 

If you feel like you need to get your life all figured out but haven't, this episode is for you. In our chat with Ling Ling, we discover: ✅ The balance between having a plan and going with the flow ✅ Being good/average at everything vs being GREAT at ONE thing ✅ What to do when you are at life’s crossroads ☝️‼️We also get an insider view of how to answer this classic question from a job recruiter: Where do you see yourself in 3-5 years' time? 🤓 About Ling Ling Ling is a seasoned learning and development professional, a former electronics engineer, and is transitioning into cultural psychology. Ling's career spans a variety of areas including manufacturing, travel, humanitarianism, and education. Since 2005, she has facilitated and delivered programs in 21 countries across four continents. Eventually, she founded Culture Spark Global, a learning and development company focused on developing intercultural skills for an inclusive and equitable world. Originally from Malaysia, Ling lived in Australia, Canada, the USA, Singapore, the UK, and Serbia and currently resides in Portugal. Ling has an MSc in Psychology from the University of Hertfordshire, UK, and currently pursuing an MPsy in Intercultural Relations in Portugal. She is a member of the British Psychology Society, International Association of Cross-Cultural Psychology, and International Council of Psychologists. Previously, she hosted a popular podcast called Leaders of Learning. Currently, she writes on her personal blog Miss Elle Tea about anything and everything that tickles her curiosity. Daily, she learns Ashtanga yoga and practices Vipassana. Connect with her on LinkedIn or Twitter. Special thanks to our sponsors for this podcast:  Alvin Chan, Tan Jia Yee, Siau Yan Chen, Tan Key Seng, Ven You Guang. Transcript: https://bit.ly/3UeFvjo Timestamp:  (1:26): Ling Ling - An Engineer, a Psychologist, and a Genius? (2:39): If you choose between planning and being spontaneous, what would you choose? (3:39): Life doesn’t always work out according to the plan (4:56): Meeting Vipassana meditation (9:16): Gradual change to the middle path (11:36): Serendipity (11:42): What do you want to do in 5 or 10 years? (14:41): Courage and necessity (20:15): The challenges in walking a different path from everyone else (21:49): The one question to make you certain about your decision (22:34): Which path should you choose?  (24:21): Which is better: A jack of all trades or a master of one?  (25:53): Finding the strengths that you bring to the table (31:05): What is the one skill everyone should possess? (32:08): Mindfulness (35:57): Do you have any advice on how to get unstuck? (36:29): Contingencies and exit plans (38:05): Life is really not sure. (39:47): This one Buddhist philosophy will change your life