Open Late

Welcome to "Hey Babe, Can We Talk?" the go-to podcast for the Hot Mess Expresses, the Black Sheep's of Love, and those navigating the ups and downs in matters of the heart. I'm your bestie Drea Renee, the Queen of Romantic Disasters, and just like you she has ignored the red flags and done everything sideways! Whether you're happily coupled, single as a Pringle, or caught in a situationship... let's embark on real and candid conversations about the rollercoaster of relationships. It's time to get honest with ourselves and our partners. I’ve done everything wrong, so as a relationship survivor, let me help you do it right. Go grab your headphones and lets get into it! Listen on all podcast platforms: https://heybabecanwetalk.lnk.to/listen Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, there's a unique twist as Jess welcomes Drea Renee back to the studio. However, this time, after more than 2 years, Jess finds herself in the guest seat. It's a significant moment as the show introduces its new host, Drea, an expert specializing in love and dependency, who will be taking over Open Late Podcast while Jess is on maternity leave. They engage in a conversation about Jess's reflections on the future of Open Late and why Drea is the ideal substitute host for this period. They discuss the next steps for the podcast and provide insights into what Jess and Pasha's parenting style will look like. Drea shares her experience of seeing Pasha and Jess in the wild as a polyamorous couple, and they delve into the topic of people trying to protect someone they believe is being cheated on by their partner. As the episode concludes, Jess surprises Drea with a heartfelt gift to mark the beginning of her upcoming journey as the host, and she takes her last bow, at least for now. In this Episode of Open Late: New host of Open Late Delving into the podcast's future Exploring diverse parenting styles The dynamics of “protecting” a polyamorous friend Last Goodbyes and Firsts Welcome Backs Connect with Drea: • Instagram: @thedrearenee Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 00:30 It's official. I am taking over for Jess while she's on maternity leave. - Drea Renee 2:45 I had the realization just a few weeks ago that being a mother is a short-lived little window. - Jessica Esfandiary 4:43 I love a camera and a microphone. I'm always down for it. - Drea Renee 9:28 I would love to sing to my babies, sing to them or write little songs for them. But I feel like writing will be something that'll be, like, manageable. - Jessica Esfandiary 10:30 I Think is the exhilaration of like having this new love and watching Pasha become a father, that makes me so excited - Jessica Esfandiary 12:43 If I could have a partner that is consistent, that knows me and that knows my circumstance and my relationship that's familiar, I think I would maybe go out here and there when time permits. - Jessica Esfandiary 15:28 I want it to be fluid where it's not this thing where we sit our kids down one day. And we're like, we have something to tell you. Mommy and daddy are in an open relationship, we're not doing that. - Jessica Esfandiary 16:22 Children learn what they live and they learn what love is based on what they see. - Jessica Esfandiary 21:27 I like to split up my emotions because I think, like, jealousy is a little bit lazy. I think that there's envy, there's fear of abandonment, like all there micro emotions underneath it. - Jessica Esfandiary 23:57 What's meant for you, won't miss you. The Universe does not fuck up - Jessica Esfandiary  Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, after more than a year, Jess welcomes back Pasha, her husband and highly requested guest. Together, they open up about the challenges they've faced and conquered, sharing the intimate details of how they navigated and overcame the struggles that life threw their way. They explore the topic of workaholism, shedding light on how it can impact not only one's personal life but also their relationship, emphasizing the potential consequences when a relationship isn't actively nurtured. They speak openly about their decision to seek therapy, offering insights into why they embarked on this journey together and what they've learned along the way. They also express views on jealousy, discussing how to handle it and why confronting it is important. With the anticipation of their twins' arrival, Jess and Pasha take us through their preparations, they also share their biggest fears and concerns as they look ahead to becoming parents to two precious babies. Furthermore, Jess and Pasha generously devote time to respond to questions from their listeners, offering thoughtful and practical advice on a range of topics, including relationship dynamics and life's unpredictable twists and turns. In this Episode of Open Late: Raw insights and dynamics of a polyamorous marriage Overcoming personal challenges and addressing jealousy The impact of workaholism on your relationship Couples Therapy and why is it okay to seek it Preparations for the twins and the biggest fears Mentioned in the Episode: • Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero Connect with Pasha: • Instagram: @pashaesfandiary Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 5:18 We've always been like such an open book with each other, and that's always worked for us because we love open communication. We love to over communicate, and we never wanted to have any secrets. - Jessica Esfandiary 6:20 I'm looking for something meaningful right now. I'm not looking for just hookups. - Pasha Esfandiary 9:46 Specially moving into this season of becoming a mom is like, I know how sacred my energy is and I dont have a lot of it right now - Jessica Esfandiary  16:09 I think that I and you as well took our relationship for granted and didn't realize that it was like its own living organism that needed care and attention and focus truly, and that it needs to have like energy poured into it. - Jessica Esfandiary 18:48 I think it's really important to know that I've made a massive effort that after five or 6:00, there's no work. - Pasha Esfandiary 23:09 Jealousy is a tool and an indicator to something that you can work on that is deeper and more prevalent -Pasha Esfandiary 40:33 At some point any new partner you get will not satisfy every single one of your needs to the way that we have dreamed up in our society. - Pasha Esfandiary 44:08 Being with other people can create more desire and chemistry within your own relationship -Jessica Esfandiary  49:17 People become more understanding with education and just if you're authentic, they're going to be authentic too. - Pasha Esfandiary 51:58 I do see myself coming back and see this show growing and evolving with me as I become a mom, a polyamorous mother of twins. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late, Jess goes solo and provides listeners with a personal life update. She shares her excitement and anticipation as her baby twins are nearing their arrival, and how this has triggered a profound transformation in all aspects of her life. As the Open Late Podcast celebrates its two-year anniversary, Jess reflects on the journey so far, highlighting the growth and evolution of the show. She offers insights into the preparations for her upcoming motherhood journey, giving listeners a glimpse into the challenges and joys that come with it. Jess also shares a snippet of her lactation journey, providing a glimpse into the unique experiences and challenges she's encountered as she prepares to welcome her twins. As a special treat, Jess has a big surprise in store for the end of the episode, ensuring that listeners will be in for an exciting and memorable conclusion. Join Jess on this deeply personal and celebratory episode of Open Late. In this Open Late episode: Jess's recent life update The imminent arrival of the twins Celebrating Open Late's 2nd Birthday Reflecting on the show's growth and evolution Embracing new beginnings    Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 00:36 We are expecting twins very soon, and that has turned my life upside down and on its head in ways that I could never imagine. And I have grown so much as a woman just by preparing for these sweet, special little beings. – Jessica Esfandiary  2:27 Over the last two years, I have really interviewed all of the people that I wanted to. – Jessica Esfandiary   5:31 It's been a blast. And I've learned and I've grown so much by doing this. – Jessica Esfandiary   6:56 The decision was not an easy one in the beginning, but the closer I get to the birth of my babies, the more clear it becomes that I want to focus solely on motherhood. – Jessica Esfandiary   7:32 I am a relationship junkie, and I know that the relationship that I have with my son and daughter will be the most important. – Jessica Esfandiary   9:03 Open Late podcast is actually not going away. I'm just going to hibernate in these days with my breast pump and breastfeeding two babies at once. – Jessica Esfandiary   10:44 Because as I've mentioned here many times, Pasha and I do not plan on closing our relationship. We both have previous partners that are still friends in our lives, that still come in and out of our lives, and something were to happen, I want you all to be the first to know about it. – Jessica Esfandiary   13:49 Thank you for understanding that this is such a major life shift for me and I want to be as present as possible for it. You know, this podcast, it really changed me. – Jessica Esfandiary 14:19 So thank you, for helping me own my choices as a woman and the way that I love publicly. – Jessica Esfandiary 14:36 I've had to grow as a woman owning who I am, owning my sexuality and owning my non-monogamy publicly has been one of the greatest gifts of my life, and it's really helped shape who I am and shape how I see the world and more than anything, I feel complete in this part of the journey. – Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. •     Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts    This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess sits down with Lolo Urbiztondo, Jess's former partner and best friend. They share recent updates on their lives, with Lolo recounting her journey of falling in love with her current partner and the profound realization of being in love. Jess reflects on the transformative changes she's experiencing as she prepares for the arrival of her babies. The episode's second part revisits the classic "Asking for a Friend" style. Jess and Lolo offer thoughtful responses to questions from their listeners, covering a range of significant themes. They explore the importance of seeking and trying therapy, the value of understanding how to date oneself, and how self-discovery plays a pivotal role in determining one's desires in a relationship. Additionally, they delve into the significance of trusting oneself and evaluating the strength of a relationship.   In this episode of Open Late, Newest Life Updates Lolo's current love story Jess's reflections on impending motherhood Importance of dating yourself first  Building strong relationships and JOMO “Joy of Missing Out”   Connect with Lolo • Instagram: @lolo_urbiztondo   Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:30 I saw him and there was this energetic pull I felt. – Lolo Urbiztondo   14:13 My kids will know that we had a former relationship. It's something I will never going to hide. – Jessica Esfandiary   15:13 We will remain open, we are not closing our relationship just because we are having kids. – Jessica Esfandiary   19:01 You are in the presence with your partner, and it's important to remember not to project your past and experiences that were traumatic on to your current relationship, because when you do that you make your partner wrong for the things that happened to you in the past. – Jessica Esfandiary    21:30 There are so many things to explore, and every different kink dynamic has a full spectrum. – Jessica Esfandiary   30:27 A good relationship with promise, or a partner that is showing up and its also doing the work, keeps me motivated. But if the other person isn’t engaging, the way that you are in this healthy way than I am unmotivated. – Jessica Esfandiary 31:54 I look at it as like when you are in partnership you are in this love temple together and you are both adding in love deposits. – Lolo Urbiztondo 36:05 For me dating myself hardcore was listening to the things I always wanted to do and checking them off my list. – Lolo Urbiztondo 40:32 When you can look at everything that happens to you, even if it really sucks and hurts, as like happening for you and not to you, you start to look at life as a gift - Jessica Esfandiary 43:34 A quality person is going to create safety in your relationship whether they are with someone else as a primary or not-Jessica Esfandiary 49:18 The crazy thing about non monogamy is that it's not about this new person. A lot of people think it is “oh I have such a great connection with this new person” but the truth is new person brings out a side of you that you love that you haven't experienced in awhile. – Jessica Esfandiary   50:00 We live in a society and a culture that is geared towards monogamy where people think that this is the norm and so it's really hard for people to break out the box. – Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. •     Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts    This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Drea Renee, a close friend of Jessica's and an expert specializing in love and dependency. Sobriety takes the spotlight as they explore Drea's personal journey and her realization of a love addiction problem. They delve into the significance of S.L.A.A. (Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous) in addressing dependency issues within relationships. Drea shares insights into the support and tools provided by this program. As the conversation unfolds, they address the challenge of losing one's identity within a partnership, the innate longing for love, and the pursuit of authentic love acceptance. Non-monogamy becomes a thought-provoking subject, with discussions revolving around its potential impact on love addiction. Drea provides valuable guidance for those who suspect they might be struggling with partner addiction, and offer practical steps and insights to help individuals navigate these challenging emotions. In this Episode of Open Late: From sobriety to love addiction Sex and Love Addicts Anonymous  Understanding your addiction Challenges of losing one's identity in a relationship Consideration of non-monogamy's impact on love addiction Mentioned in the Episode: • Podcast: Your Partner is NOT your superhero • Podcast: How to Recognize Codependency in Your Relationship • SLAA quiz: The 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis Connect with Drea Renee: • Instagram: @thedrearenee Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:30 Love addiction it's like any other addiction, if you have an alcohol addiction, gambling, food, when that becomes all consuming, it becomes your entire life. - Drea Renee 3:08 When I got sober, its like with any addiction, it doesn't change your wiring. You just stop doing one thing and that laser focus goes to something else. - Drea Renee 5:21 I wanted to be with him so badly that I was like “I'm just going to be a part of you”. Whatever you want me to be, I'll be, so I can get you to love me. - Drea Renee 6:44 My parents divorced when I was seven and my mum had me really, really young. So it's like kids growing up with kids, not really knowing how to emotionally evolve and other things the proper way. - Drea Renee 7:54 Awareness is one thing,but you must put into practice completely new ways of being. - Jessica Esfandiary 13:07 You're addicted to the chemistry in your body. That adrenaline, dopamine. Everything that happens when you're in fight or flight, when you feel like you have the thing that you want. And if you don't have the thing that you want, you're going to die. - Jessica Esfandiary 17:00 Sometimes I wish you could just get somebody a flashcard. Like these are my strengths, these are my weaknesses. Just take a look. And if you don't want to, give it back. - Drea Renee 18:30 The relationship that you have for the first two years is something entirely different, it is its own beast. And you will never have it again. - Jessica Esfandiary 20:17 In some ways with like dating apps, everything is so deliverable and so fast that it makes it challenging to take your time. - Jessica Esfandiary 23:49 Your partner is not your superhero. - Jessica Esfandiary 31:49 Being in a room with a lot of other people that are going through the same thing was so helpful. - Drea Renee Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this Bonus episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Robbie Garippo, a close friend of Jessica and Pasha. This episode delves into an intriguing array of topics that touch upon the intricacies of human intimacy and connection. First, they embark on a candid discussion about the frequency of masturbation, seeking to strike a balance that fosters both physical well-being and emotional health. Then they take a deeper turn into the multifaceted world of orgasms and explore the fascinating interplay between the mind and body in the experience of these intense moments of pleasure and release. In this Episode of Open Late: Healthy frequency of masturbating Orgasms through the brain and body Biological Life force Starting a book club Mentioned in the Episode: • Book: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida Connect with Robbie Garippo: • Instagram: @robbefrancesco Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:36 To have orgasms through the brain and body actually lead to a greater, more fulfilling, passionate relationship with your lover in the world. - Robbie Garippo 2:30 Essentially for men when you ejaculate you're basically giving in to your lower level passions. - Robbie Garippo 3:10 When you give in to those primal instincts so easily. It kind of echoes how you are, how you'll be in your life, in relationships. - Robbie Garippo 5:15 There's a buildup of tension in the release of tension. And so if you can take that tension instead of just releasing it, take it really high and circulate it, then you really start to tap into a true power. - Robbie Garippo 6:00 People resist high amounts of pleasure. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess sits down with Robbie Garippo, a close friend of Jessica and Pasha, who has been part of their team and family for many years. They touch on the significance of therapy and how it has played a vital role in their lives. Robbie opens up about a hard breakup he endured, shedding light on the transformative impact it had on his personal growth. They delve into the realm of traumatic childhood experiences, exploring the complexities of giving and receiving love. They explore the dynamics of relationships, drawing a distinction between short-term casual encounters and long-term committed partnerships. They also talk about the concept of masculine and feminine energies within our bodies, as they reflect on the importance of understanding and balancing these aspects of ourselves. In this Episode of Open Late: The importance of therapy A transformative experience after a challenging breakup Unhealthy relationship with receiving love  Exploring masculine and feminine body energies An attractive and safe way to take charge Mentioned in the Episode: • Book: The Way of the Superior Man by David Deida Connect with Robbie Garippo: • Instagram: @robbefrancesco Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:51 I'm a guy that wants the most out of life. Just wants to be happy, constantly working on myself. I'm a work in progress. - Robbie Garippo 6:05 Going through a breakup really made me look inward. I had no idea issues with my father, issues with my mother, and which was leading to issues in my every relationship in my life. - Robbie Garippo 10:07 Our bodies truly store anything that happens to you that is traumatic or that is unsettling, especially as a child, because you don't really have the proper tools to deal with it, or you've been taught that you can't express emotion. - Jessica Esfandiary 14:49 There's only so much that the body can also relearn or integrate in that moment. The brain needs time the same way that like as people, we can be active or resting and we actually need both and the rest is just as valuable because it's the integration. - Jessica Esfandiary 19:42 I can't really truly give my gift to my woman or the world unless I'm really standing in my divine masculinity. - Robbie Garippo 25:23 I'm finding it very empowering to myself because I'm stepping into these relationships fully, authentically me and unapologetically me and not like thinking about them, but I'm really thinking about me. And I've never done that before - Robbie Garippo 26:42 All have masculine and feminine inside of us and we can all play to those different energies, like I can embody a lot of my masculine side. - Jessica Esfandiary 27:28 Desire and chemistry is really the tension between polarity and like sameness. - Jessica Esfandiary 46:51 When you're frustrated, you get taken out of a very aligned, calm state and you get into an activated state where you are not your best self. And when we're speaking from that place, we're not speaking in an open hearted and clear way. We're speaking from hurt. -Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Dr. Wednesday Martin, a bestselling author and renowned sexpert. Wednesday's mission is to help women feel less weird in their desires and experiences. Their discussion delves into various models of desire and arousal, the measurement of responsive desire, and the controversy surrounding the term "ethical non monogamy." The profound influence of language on our emotions and learning is another intriguing topic they explore. Wednesday Martin demystifies menopause, highlighting the contrast between its portrayal and the reality women experience. They also delve into Wednesday's book, "Untrue," which provides incredible insights into women's desires and relationships. To conclude, they share an exciting revelation about a more effective position for sexual stimulation and a deeper understanding of the complexities of desire and relationships. In this Episode of Open Late: Desire models and controversy Measuring responsive desire The impact of language on emotions and learning The reality of Menopause  Research in understanding relationships Connect with Dr. Wednesday Martin: • Instagram: @wednesdaymartinphd • Website: http://wednesdaymartin.com • Book: “UNTRUE” http://wednesdaymartin.com/books/untrue/  Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:12 We had one model of sexual desire and it was a linear model and it went from arousal to desire to orgasm in a straight line. But we learned that desire is more complicated for both men and women than we thought it was, That it's not just a linear process. - Dr. Wednesday Martin 7:32 I thought, I have a big sexual appetite. And then I learn that that's normal and also to be reminded that the misinformation that we share is so damaging and disempowering not just to women, but to everyone. - Jessica Esfandiary 7:04 It's so empowering as a woman to learn that having a big sexual appetite is normal - Jessica Esfandiary 8:40 You and I are very fortunate. We're not more ethical than other people. We're fucking lucky that we live in a culture where we can say, “Listen, monogamy is not working for me, it's working for us. let's do something about this” and we won't get killed for it. Not every woman is so lucky. - Dr. Wednesday Martin 11:25 A lot of practitioners, especially men of what they call ethical non-monogamy, have been socialized away from communication and they have been socialized away from talking about feelings and being. - Dr. Wednesday Martin 27:51 One of my biggest agenda is to help women feel less weird about who they are with science and data. It's one thing if you say to a woman, Oh, no, no, honey, it's okay. If you want to be non-monogamous, that's normal. It's another thing if you back it up with 250 studies in peer review or peer journals, about the social and sexual behavior of non-human primates. - Dr. Wednesday Martin Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Dr. Wednesday Martin, a New York Times bestselling author and renowned sexpert known for her work on parenting, step-parenting, female sexuality, motherhood, and popular culture. Their discussion is a deep dive into various aspects of human nature and sexuality. Wednesday introduces us to the world of bonobos, shedding light on how these primates offer insights into our own social and sexual behaviors. She also delves into the fascinating world of regression analysis, a powerful statistical tool that helps uncover patterns and insights in her research. The conversation takes a historical turn as Wednesday discusses how the advent of agriculture transformed the roles of women in societies and continues to shape gender dynamics today. They also explore female anatomy and the concept of the "girl boner," highlighting the complexity of female sexual pleasure and arousal. In this Episode of Open Late: Human nature and sexuality Regression analysis Dominant female species and evolution to experience pleasure The impact of agriculture on women's roles and gender dynamics Female anatomy and the "girl boner" Connect with Dr. Wednesday Martin: • Instagram: @wednesdaymartinphd • Website: http://wednesdaymartin.com • Book: “UNTRUE” http://wednesdaymartin.com/books/untrue/  Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 7:23 The means of production shifting from either at-home agriculture, stick and poke agriculture or hunting and gathering that transition to plow culture changed our beliefs radically about who women and men are, including that men became more sexually entitled and privileged. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 12:16 After the agricultural shift, for some women who had dependent children, they were looked at if they were not bringing home the calories, if they were not bringing home the bacon, they had less power relative to men who were doing it. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 15:54 In the long arc of human evolution, inequality is a recent aberration. Women being subjugated is a recent aberration in the long arc of human equality. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 16:28 Women being subjugated is a recent aberration in the arc of human evolution. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 21:51 We are more closely related to bonobos than we are to chimps. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 22:21 We evolved from a female-dominant species where the females are remarkably promiscuous and they would rather have sex with other females than with a male, and that's how they build their social power. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 25:29 We evolved as super flexible, sexual and social strategist, that means we can thrive in a number of situations. – Dr. Wednesday Martin 25:42 Our organs and where everything is placed, how we function, and how we experience pleasure really do point to the fact that we come from a long line of society where we would have multiple sex partners. - Jessica Esfandiary 37:42 A female chimp who has a very abject, dangerous life, and they get beaten by males and by other females, low-ranking female chimps. They will risk death at the hands of a dominant male who leaves their troop and goes wandering, goes out there, finds a male who is a stranger, and copulates with him. – Dr. Wednesday Martin Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Angelika Alana Drake, a guide to relational and erotic intelligence. Their discussion revolves around daily practices of inner self-devotion and their impact on inner energetic levels. Angelika delves into how we perceive sex and the types of attachments we form. She explains that as we reach certain levels of understanding, we can approach sex in more emotionally connected ways. Angelika also explores how sex can facilitate healing from sexual trauma and the concept of sexual self-actualization. The conversation touches upon the idea of erotic innocence and how our fears influence our parenting. They also delve into the significance of committing to intimacy and the importance of prioritizing sex within relationships. In this Episode of Open Late: Daily Devotion and Unlocking Your Inner Mastery Healing Through Sexual Self-Actualization Exploring Erotic Innocence Prioritizing sex and a Commitment to Intimacy  Finding power and Unleashing Female Strength without risk Connect with Angelika Alana Drake: • Instagram: @angelikaalana • Website: https://www.angelikaalana.com/ • Podcast:Awakened Love: https://www.podpage.com/awakened-love/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:41  I just felt like you had this calmness to you, this centeredness that nothing could really throw you off. - Jessica Esfandiary   4:21 I really do believe that every single human is capable of actualizing their fullest energetic potential through devotion to practice. -Angelika Drake   5:12 We have the fundamental basic physical needs for safety and security, and then we move into emotional needs and then a sense of belonging and significance. Then we move up, up, up until we get to that tip of the triangle, which is self-actualization. - Angelika Drake 11:36 It's interesting to look at sex in a strategic way, the same way we would a devotional spiritual practice. It's the business of health. - Jessica Esfandiary 19:30 If a kid is masturbating in public, we do want to give them social programming, that isn't what we do. It's not a safe or appropriate thing to do, but without shaming them, that act itself or that they themselves are somehow wrong or bad. Being able to talk about safe spaces and safety and that you can touch anywhere on your own body, but no one else should touch your body, And if an adult ever touches your body, you come to me and you can tell me and you will never get in trouble. - Angelika Drake   23:00 Purity is a trap. Purity is not just all good and all light. Purity is wholeness and wholeness includes and transcends to get to pure light. We include all colors, all experiences in the whole - That's wholeness. It's an inclusion and a sense of connection. But in order to be connected to these parts of ourselves, they have to be in our conscious awareness. - Angelika Drake 35:18 We live in a society where our bodies are the problem. Women as they're starting to develop, it's like, oh, that we have to cover that up. Pull your skirt down and don't touch it. And it's going to cause a problem and it's going to get you hurt. -Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Jess talks to you in another Solo Episode. She answers the listeners' questions from the public Q&A she shared on her social media. She explains the importance of getting feedback and what makes the show improve. Likewise, she talks about how her background in the entertainment industry helped her build her self-confidence, leading to her ability to speak publicly about her open relationship.  In this episode of Open Late: • Importance of getting feedback • Love for acting and building your self-confidence • New relationship energy and knowing your balance  • Fear of telling your closed group friend and how to approach it • Need for a community that understands and the ability to say no Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary •Asking for a friend (AFAF) Question Form  3:37: Not many people on the planet have the same safety and security situation. - Jessica Esfandiary. 3:54: My livelihood is not at stake if somebody finds out I am in a polyamorous marriage. - Jessica Esfandiary. 5:36: Acting was the love of my life before I met my husband. - Jessica Esfandiary. 8:17: Anything that feels addicting and intoxicating, you want to moderate a little bit. - Jessica Esfandiary. 10:42: If we don't have the right serotonin balance, we might forget to do things like feeding ourselves or going to the gym. So think about your own health and well-being first. - Jessica Esfandiary. 11:06: The moment you sacrifice your own practice and routine is when you get out of balance. - Jessica Esfandiary. 13:50: Until we have more visibility and representation in media, culture, and educational settings about relationships, it will continue to be feared and seen as something that won't work. - Jessica Esfandiary. 17:51: Having conversations that feel uncomfortable can be valuable as they create more intimacy. - Jessica Esfandiary. 20:42: This evolution is constantly churning, much like a snake that sheds its skin and is reborn. - Jessica Esfandiary. 21:58: I didn't have much sexual confidence before meeting my husband. In fact, I allowed men to choose me. I started relationships with people who wanted to hook up with me, and then I would try to make them my boyfriend. - Jessica Esfandiary. 22:31: Maybe once or twice, I was bold enough to say, "I want to hook up with that guy," and I actually went and did it. - Jessica Esfandiary. 28:14: Sometimes, mismatched desires can be a deal-breaker. - Jessica Esfandiary. Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jessica reconnects again with Shelby Terrell, an intimacy coordinator and current MSW Candidate, on the path of becoming a sex and relationship therapist. They explore the experiences of growing up as Mormons and the challenges of reconciling their personal beliefs with the faith. They candidly discuss the shame associated with sexuality, particularly masturbation, and how it affected their self-perception and relationships. Likewise, they emphasize the importance of embracing vulnerability to promote healing and personal growth. Deconstructing traditional relationship norms, they share their own journeys of self-discovery and finding fulfillment outside societal expectations. Shelby opens up about her marriage coming to an end, and the episode also touches on the concept of an ideal relationship, the benefits of couples therapy and deeper understanding of vulnerability's power in breaking down barriers and cultivating meaningful connections. In this Episode of Open Late: the Experience of Growing Up as a Mormon The Nuances of Self-Gratification and difference between private vs shameful Deconstructing Conventional Relationship Ideals Embracing Self-Discovery and Sexual Fulfillment Exploring the Realm of Kinky and BDSM Previous Episode with Shelby: On-Screen Intimacy Coordinator Shelby Terrell: Open Late Episode 85 Connect with Shelby Terrell: • Instagram: @theshelbyterrell Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:30 A lot of the public school policies, such as dress codes and the cultural environment of the schools, were based on Mormon protocols, ethics, and values. There was a lot of shame and judgment and guilt placed on it because as a socialized female woman growing up in Utah, my job is to be a partner and procreate. - Shelby Terrell 8:50 People who grew up in a purity culture often find that shame manifests itself in various ways. For some, it's a struggle, while for others, it leads to acting out. - Jessica Esfandiary 9:37 I was using the guise of privacy, what I thought were private matters. In reality, I was being secretive and carrying a sense of shame. I convinced myself that labeling something as private would justify it, but upon reflection, I realized it was driven by my feelings of shame. - Shelby Terrell 25:09 We had a threesome, and it was really wonderful and great. And then afterwards I was immediately like “We can't tell anyone”.When they asked why, I responded, 'This is my private life.' It was at this point that the distinction between shame and privacy became evident, and I realized the impact of my sexual trauma from growing up Mormon was resurfacing. - Shelby Terrell 36:14 With the ongoing revolution of sexual expression, positivity, education, and the exploration of non-monogamy and polyamory, one can hope for a positive impact rippling through those who are curious but may have been hesitant due to their more traditional inclinations. As a result, relationships in general could potentially become significantly healthier. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Joe and Reese, hosts of the Poly By Nature podcast. They discuss their transition from monogamy to polyamory and why it was important in order to keep their relationship organic. They delve into the natural flaws experienced by newly opened couples and share insights on raising kids in an open relationship. Joe and Reese open up about introducing polyamory to their teenage children and how being open enhances communication and personal growth. By embracing this lifestyle, Joe, Reese, and Jess highlight how it has positively impacted their lives and reshaped their perspectives on love and relationships. The discussion extends to preparing their children for future relationships with an open mind and a non-judgmental attitude. Lastly, they reveal their exciting plans for the near future with the podcast. In this Episode of Open Late: From infidelity to polyamory Navigating freshly open relationship Introducing polyamory to teenage kids Openness enhances communication and growth Exciting plans for the future Connect with Poly By Nature: • Instagram: @polybynaturepodcast • Podcast: Poly By Nature Podcast • Website: https://www.polybynature.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 5:10 Monogamy was like, you know, you get together, you commit to each other and say, I'm only being with you. You have a couple of kids and you just live life happily ever after. And our happily ever after wasn't coming fast enough for me. Joe 11:30 We started with me thinking that I had to find someone that fit both of us immediately and fast. Like I need to go out and find a friend that makes sense for both of us. And she's got to be just as cool as Reese. Joe 19:19 In the beginning of my poly journey, I thought it was geared towards sex. When I first looked it up, it was super glorified into a sexual connotation. But the whole world, when you start to talk about social media in the presence of what poly shows, it shows itself on a very sexual level. Joe 21:08 Entertainment and media sensationalize and over sexualize everything. And that clears the picture on why for so many people a sexual relationship may be the only way that they see to intimacy. I don't think we grow up with a lot of role models of healthy intimacy, healthy relationships that might be platonic polyamory or whatever it is. - Jessica Esfandiary 28:45 I want my children to know and to learn. I don’t think they will be poly, but I think that in the day, at least they'll be able to walk into relationships, monogamous or poly with an open mind and just simply says, okay, here's my boundaries, here's what I want from this relationship, here's how I want to grow from it, and here's what I can give you and be fine with that. Joe 34:17 Hey, this is a relationship that you're having. That's yours. You know, I can listen to some of it, but some of it is private between you two. And keep those two things private because, you know, she may not want me to know some of these things, not in the bad way, but more in a respectful way of, you know, relationships separations at that point. Joe 36:08 So many women are conditioned to believe that sexual intimacy and exclusivity should be really important to them because it's like what society teaches us. Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We’re back again with Alexys part 2 in Asking For A Friend! The girls continue the conversation by talking about jealousy and how your partner flirting with a different person does not immediately mean attraction. Alexys opens up owning a small business, the mental struggles that come with it, and why she decided to go part-time. Alexys asks Jess raw questions about her upcoming "stepping into motherhood" and why people connect Polyamory with "white people shit". In this episode of Open Late: • Understanding the truth about flirting  • Owning a small business and "monetizing" your passions • Stepping into Motherhood and having hard conversations with your kids • "White people shit" and different cultural views on Polyamory Connect with Alexys: • Instagram: @cakesbyalexys Cynthia's Nixon viral “Be a Lady They Said” Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z8ZSDS7zVdU Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 3:15 Emotional intelligence, just from my end, shows up in a way that is authentic. - Alexys Calhoun 4:02 After an argument with my partner, I had to tell him “You don't always have to fix it. I just didn't like your tone”. - Alexys Calhoun 5:12 We oversexualize everything in this country. – Jessica Esfandiary 17:03 Women are more coded. Like we are afraid to reveal ourselves. – Jessica Esfandiary 18:15 I’m a direct person, which is apparently not okay when you have a vagina. - Alexys Calhoun 22:50 You don't have to monetize your passion. - Alexys Calhoun 25:38 It is great when a woman can take something and catapult into a new realm. – Jessica Esfandiary  26:53 And if you don't want to show it. That's okay too. - Alexys Calhoun 29:25 If your only argument is that "it's not okay for the kids", then you are probably not a good parent because you cannot have those open dialogues with your kids. - Alexys Calhoun 32:58 If you look at the nuclear family, you are just seeing people that are way under-resourced, barely surviving. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Get ready for a heart-to-heart chat that will make you feel like you just hung out with your two best girlfriends! In this episode of our new series, ASKING FOR A FRIEND, Jess sits down with Alexys Calhoun. Alexys is her former personal assistant, a long-time friend, and owner of CakesByAlexys. The girls go into the importance of women celebrating other women and how understanding yourself can help you raise your standards. They also look at the principles of non-monogamy and how people's perception of you changes when they find out you are open. In this episode of Open Late: • Celebrating other women and raising your standards • Group "Mom" energy  • How to balance sobriety and going out • Principles of non-monogamy and other’s misinformed perceptions of CNM Connect with Alexys: • Instagram: @cakesbyalexys Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary   5:59 You helped me step into my hot girl era before I even knew it was happening. - Jessica Esfandiary 8:29 Don't be too big, don't overshadow anybody. Growing up in a society that was like don't take up too much space, embracing sexuality was taboo. - Jessica Esfandiary 9:36 This is the year of cringe, and we are going to embrace it.- Alexys Calhoun 14:29 I am enough on my own, and there is no competition. - Jessica Esfandiary 15:31 I want more for everybody. Like I hope in 10 years, women are like, "You put that woman down?; we don't do that anymore!" - Alexys Calhoun 19:04 I take naked photos with the idea it's art, not sex. - Jessica Esfandiary 20:09 I would just look in the mirror and tell myself I am beautiful even though I didn't think it for the longest time. - Alexys Calhoun 21:25 For a long time, I thought I had to be a role model. - Jessica Esfandiary 24:09 These days, I’m taking a step back and trying to be an ear to somebody rather than giving them my opinion. - Alexys Calhoun 31:28 Non-Monogamy is great, but some people can find it weird. And I am like, "It's weird for you; it's not weird for them." - Alexys Calhoun 33:39 Not “letting” your partner do something stems from the belief that you own your partner. - Jessica Esfandiary 35:10 Keeping constantly away your desires and attraction from your partner will erode your own confidence, self-esteem and your relationship. - Jessica Esfandiary 39:05 If you really love somebody and you want to hold them to their greatness, let them decide how they wanna handle the information. - Jessica Esfandiary  Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess connects with Frank Smith, a queer writer and actor known for his work on the show "Open To It." Throughout their conversation, they delve into the origins of the show, discussing how it all began and the challenges they had to face along the way. As the discussion progresses, Jess and Frank touch upon personal aspects of his life, specifically when Frank and his partner made the decision to open up about his relationship. They explore the process of creating a show "Open To It" and how they handle filming intimate scenes, shedding light on the behind-the-scenes aspects of production. They talk about how the world reacted to the show's content and the impact it had on those who were a part of Frank's life. Frank opens up about how the show may have influenced or altered his relationship in some shape or form, sharing positive outcomes that arose from it. For those interested in watching "Open To It" and keeping up with upcoming events. In this Episode of Open Late: Coming up with an idea for a show Challenges of creating a queer comedy series Behind the scenes of filming intimate scenes  Frank's “secret” proposal story “Where to watch” and upcoming events Mentioned in the Episode: Please Like me - Television Comedy Drama: Please Like Me Pleasure Podcast: Sex Talk With My Mom On-Screen Intimacy Coordinator Shelby Terrell: Open Late Episode 85 Connect with Frank Smith: • Instagram: @frank.arthur.smith • Watch Open To It: https://www.opentoitseries.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:31  I did write the first episode as a short film originally and submitted to a couple of competitions, where one literally said to me, this is too gay and too gross. I was like, okay, well, you know what? My show is too gay, and is too gross. And this is exactly what I'm going to do right now. – Frank Smith 4:52  a lot of times the way that we would communicate it or, you know, whether you're writing it or sharing your vision, you know, or even like putting together a whole storyboard, sometimes it's just not going to come to life for someone else, or it does in a way that's through their filter, through their lens. – Jessica Esfandiary 34:12 But I'm really proud of what we're doing. We've gotten the chance to showcase a lot of different types of people. We just had like in episode eight, we have a love interest and had a deaf director and an ASL interpreting crew, so I'm just really pleased with how we keep getting to showcase more and more people that are part of it. – Frank Smith 39:16 I just love hearing about these things when people who live sort of outside the box, being poly or whatever, being non-monogamous, coloring outside the lines all the time when you do something that's traditional. – Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this special episode of the Open Late Podcast, celebrating her 9-year anniversary, Jess recounts the heartwarming story of how she woke up that morning, and unexpectedly found herself in a surprise wedding, making her a married woman by the end of the day. She takes us back to the beginning of her relationship with Pasha, admitting that she initially thought he might only be a rebound after her last breakup. She also shares the touching moment when Pasha surprised her with a proposal, followed shortly after by an intimate and magical surprise wedding surrounded by their closest friends. She reflects 10 years back, and wonders what her response would have been if someone had asked her whether she believed she would be in an open, polyamorous relationship today. In this Episode of Open Late: Surprise proposal on Anniversary The beginnings of Jess and Pasha Unexpected but perfect Wedding  Reflects on open relationship possibility Mentioned in the Episode: Pregnancy. Changes. Everything Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 1:47 The day that I woke up, the day that I got married. - Jessica Esfandiary 3:21 I had just gotten out of a three and a half year relationship that was really toxic, that was very limiting. It was stunting for my growth or my expression, for my sexuality. I just wanted fun and I probably wanted a little bit of danger, too, to be honest. And so he was ripe for the picking. - Jessica Esfandiary 3:45 We had a mutual friend that introduced us, and she actually forbade us from dating. So, I mean, that made the whole thing even hotter. - Jessica Esfandiary 7:08 I remember we had bought this journal and we decided that we would write to each other on our anniversary every year, and it was going to be a gift to each other back and forth. And we would do it for the whole time that we were together for the rest of our lives, apparently. I didn't know that. - Jessica Esfandiary 8:08 He proposes with this beautiful band and I instead say. Yes, there's like not a bone in my body that's confused about wanting to spend my life with this man. - Jessica Esfandiary 8:19 When we did decide to be together, it was like, this is my life partner. And that first year of our relationship was easy, breezy, beautiful, blissful. And you know, relationships don't last that way forever, especially long term committed ones. But that first year was incredible. - Jessica Esfandiary 18:12 When we officially started to date and there was exclusivity in our relationship. I knew that I would easily spend my life with this man and that he was the most driven and the most committed to his own growth. And that's what I was really looking for in a partner. And I didn't want to settle for less than crazy and love, which I was with him. - Jessica Esfandiary 19:13 If you asked me the night of my wedding, like, do you think that your relationship is open or do you think you're going to open it or do you think you'll be polyamorous? I didn't even know what polyamory was, so the answer would be no. - Jessica Esfandiary 20:29 That is the story of how I had a surprise wedding and I went to bed a married woman on a day that I woke up and I wasn't even engaged. So if you want to know who's the most confident man in the world and also who's the most spot on in the world, it's Pasha. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of the Open Late Podcast, Jess continues her conversation with Irene Morning, the author of "The Polyamory Paradox." They delve into the topic of contemplating polyamory while understanding our personal triggers and its impact. Additionally, they discuss the importance of comprehending our partners' perspectives and avoiding pressuring them into “closing back the relationship”. Instead, encouraging open communication to address any issues that arise. They explore the concept of unsolvable problems that may arise in polyamorous relationships, as well as the feelings of isolation. They also explore the process of finding and building communities with like-minded individuals. In this Episode of Open Late: Understanding your triggers The unsolvable problems of relationship Control vs. Containment Sex positive spaces and people's perception Finding and building up like-minded communities Connect with Irene Morning: • Instagram: @irene_morning • Book: The Polyamory Paradox • Website: https://www.irenemorning.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:05 Particularly from people who know that they have some amount of trauma in their history, who identify with a complex PTSD diagnosis or know that mental health has been a struggle for them of thinking I really love some of the concepts in polyamory and I love the things that I've read about it, but I'm so afraid that for me it's untenable because I'll just get too triggered. – Irene Morning 14:20 It makes me think about the monogamous relationships actually that I'm seeing transform based on some of these principles of non-monogamy that will never likely be non-monogamous, never open, but are using the tools of, like you know, seeing yourself as a whole person, being your partner as a whole person, and not expecting them to fill all your needs. – Jessica Esfandiary   15:00 I just love the idea that people will begin to use pleasure and intimacy and vulnerability and authenticity in ways that can open their relationship, just maybe not to other lovers, but just open their relationships, period, because that's like going to be such a beautiful world, probably totally like I'll be, you know, around for completely. – Jessica Esfandiary 31:41 What I need is more community around this. So can I give myself permission to actually just own that in some of these interactions and start to differentiate that out? I mean, it brings me back to the question of the beginning of like people anchoring into their why. I sometimes think as we evolve in this, we realize that our why for when we first start getting into non-monogamy is sometimes actually feeling like, okay, more relationships can fill this need for community that I didn't even realize was a need. – Irene Morning Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode of Open Late Podcast, Jess again engages in an enlightening conversation with Irene Morning, a somatic coach, pleasure witch, intimacy educator, and the talented author behind "The Polyamory Paradox." Together, they talk deep into the world of Irene's creative process, unraveling the journey of how the book came to life. Irene's unique perspective and expertise shine through as she shares her insights on navigating polyamory and the intricacies of human emotions. Jessica openly shares her own personal experiences and the impact of both Irene's book and Irene on her journey. She highlights how the book has served as a roadmap, providing guidance and understanding in navigating polyamory and emotions. In this Episode of Open Late: Creative process of writing How our emotions affect our thinking The battle of Control vs. Containment Personal impact of the book Exploring "The Window of Tolerance" Episode 56 mentioned in the episode: Mind, Body and Non-monogamy Connect with Irene Morning: • Instagram: @irene_morning • Book: The Polyamory Paradox • Website: https://www.irenemorning.com/ Connect with Jessica: • Instagram: @journey.with.jessica | @openlatethepodcast • Website: openlatepodcast.com  • YouTube: Open Late Podcast • What's my relationship style? Take the Open Late Quiz • Join our free chat community, "Open Talks" on WhatsApp • Open Late Dictionary 2:29 This is one of the most comprehend things, if not the most complete book to take you from the beginning, experiences through being able to live this way with as many tools as possible for any type of for any type of open relationship. - Jessica Esfandiary 4:04 I hope that the therapy scene is changing a little bit in corners of the therapy world. But I think that is one of the things where coaching gets to operate differently, where I don't necessarily have the same concerns professionally about self-disclosure, where I can tell my story more openly and not worry that that's going to interfere with my practice, but that actually it really supports my client. - Irene Morning 26:23 If you're going through a really challenging experience in non-monogamy and you're finding yourself really struggling in a big way and triggered in a way that interferes with doing work or maintaining relationships or having healthy sleep or getting proper nutrition, all of these kind of like basic regulation things, you are probably operating outside your window of tolerance. - Irene Morning 36:36 70% or 80% of the recurring arguments that couples have. That conflict is not actually something that they can resolve. So the objective when we're doing conflict resolution and conflict work in a relationship is not necessarily to fix the source of that conflict, but is to look at how we can communicate about it more effectively, how can we navigate the conflict more effectively? - Irene Morning 38:53 At the end of the day, your whole purpose and I think your goal as a human, just knowing you in your work is to grow and to constantly reclaim the parts of yourself that don't feel whole. Whether you can call that inner child healing or, you know, soul. - Jessica Esfandiary Take advantage of a 30% discount on Dr. Zhana's eligible courses with code "JESSICA", applied to the first payment only for offers with multiple payments or subscriptions. • Open Smarter Course The product I love who support this show: • Honey Pot Lube and Massage Oil OPENLATE20 • The Oh Club OPENLATE • Desire Resorts  This is a Sabbatical Jess Production Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices