Rock that Relationship!

Learn about what dozens of people have to say about thriving in a relationship – what it means and how to foster it. Corey and Tracy explore themes like radical honesty and vulnerability, respectful receptance, being on the same team, patience, acknowledging/apologizing/validating, defining the unique norms of your relationship, clarifying expectations and boundaries, attuning to yourself, and using intentional strategies to foster intimacy. Tune in for examples and resources to help your relationship thrive! And, find out about Corey’s and Tracy’s friendship agreement on communication and wellness checks. You won’t want to miss this season finale! Show Notes: 8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner. The First Four Words-Read Tucker’s book on effective communication and using only four words to get the conversation started. Brené Brown-Make sure to check out the books, blogs, and TED Talk on vulnerability. Relationship Anarchist Smorgasbord-Use this worksheet for a conversation with your partner about the things that matter in your relationship. Paired-This app offers “daily conversation starters.” Skin Deep-Check out this card deck that offers prompts for getting to know each other. Gottman Cards-Learn more about the different card decks offered with questions and ideas for enhancing relationships. Lesbian Adventures in Love-Check out this Facebook group “where lesbians go to date” and find out more about the speed dating events, courses, and retreats, offered by lesbian relationship coach, Michele O’Mara. com-Learn more about Bethany’s work with astrology, book a chart reading, and check out her book (and blog), Apologies I Never Got! Jerry Maguire-Watch this class Tom Cruise and Renée Zellweger rom-com!

Tune in for tips, strategies, and inspiration from Certified Financial Planner® and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst®, Melissa Murphy Pavone. Whether your finances are blended, you keep separate accounts, or have a hybrid setup with your partner, talking about money is essential for ensuring financial fidelity. She suggests having these conversations, not just at the beginning of a relationship, but also consistently during what she calls, “financial date nights.” Each month, couples set a time to talk about topics around financial values, priorities, mindsets, and tactical decisions. She says that a person’s “money language” is liken to a love language and that making sure there is financial compatibility or at least a mutual understanding of the differences is a key to a thriving relationship. And, what is more romantic than a financial date night? And, if you’re curious about Corey’s view on teens riding in Ubers and thrift store clothes and Tracy’s desire to sleep in a tent on vacation and consume food like the Jetson’s did, you’ll definitely want to listen in! Show Notes: Melissa Murphy Pavone-Melissa is a Certified Financial Planner® and Certified Divorce Financial Analyst® who’s on a mission to change the game when it comes to couples and money. Check out her website at moneymattersinmarriagellc.com, which is filled with helpful resources, including information on her Money Mindset Discovery Program for couples. Use the 25 percent discount promo code: ROCK25. 8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner. Suze Orman-Check out resources from world-renowned financial expert, Suze Orman, for tips on money management. Holiday in the Wild-Tune into this holiday rom-com starring Rob Lowe and Kristen Davis. Rich Dad, Poor Dad-Pick up a copy of this book to learn more about key lessons on money! Tibetan Book of Living and Dying-Check out this Buddhist classic about life and death.

Join Corey and Tracy as they ponder the intricacies of “money” in thriving relationships. They share about their own experiences, where Tracy’s visceral reaction to having a shared bank account with a partner and Corey’s exasperation of having to Venmo half the utilities each month without one serve as yet another reason the two of them are not in a relationship! What they do agree on is that money and trust are synonymous, building wealth at a young age is vital, how people handle their finances is usually a reflection of how they navigate life, financial independence during a relationship is key, and that communication early on is critical to learning whether you are financially compatible. Most of all, feeling financially safe is fundamental to a thriving relationship. And, if that isn’t enough, you get to learn more about Tracy’s credit card points and impromptu purchase of a whole home filtration system and Corey’s methodical process for buying a lamp! Show Notes: 8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner. Suze Orman-Check out resources from world-renowned financial expert, Suze Orman, for tips on money management.

What if you knew the secret to having a productive conversation, especially about a difficult topic? Tune in for wisdom from executive coach, owner/founder of Onward Leadership, speaker, and author of The First Four Words, Tucker Miller, to find out. Along the way, discover why Tracy is bothered by emails with multiple question marks, how Corey can see right through a fake apology, and what Tucker means by having a “good” goodbye. This episode is chock full of great tips on how you can diffuse a tricky situation and invite a discussion with someone using only four words. Listen to find out what those four words are! Show Notes: Tucker Miller-Find out more about Tucker’s book and access resources. Onward Leadership-Learn more about Tucker’s speaking, coaching, and training opportunities. LinkedIn-Follow Tucker on LinkedIn to keep up with her blogs and webinars. The First Four Words-Read Tucker’s book on effective communication and using only four words to get the conversation started. Rich Dad, Poor Dad-Pick up a copy of this book to learn more about key lessons on money!

Sometimes, you come across that episode that just inspires you to be a better human. And, this one certainly does. Join us as we talk with Dr. Kristen Donnelly about centering people, treating others with kindness and respect, and engaging in radical, inclusive hospitality. Corey and Tracy can’t agree more with this philosophy as Tracy pipes in about why complimenting everyone at pickleball can have a profound impact, and Corey shares that how you treat restaurant servers says a lot about you. All in all, you will learn ideas for setting boundaries with kindness, ways you can create a supportive partnership, the value of communication, and about the importance of figuring out what makes you feel loved and not loved and then finding a way to explain both to your partner without blame. You will surely leave this episode feeling inspired to bring out the best in others. Show Notes: Kristen Donnelly-Learn more about Kristen’s work and sign up for her newsletter. LinkedIn-Follow Kristen online. The Culture of Burnout-Read Kristen’s book on burnout and strategies to break the stress cycle. Mean Girls Musical-Learn more about this hit Broadway musical based on the movie, Mean Girls.

Are there ever reasons to not disclose something to preserve the relationship, or are you a believer in “radical transparency?” Where do you draw the line between privacy and secrecy? Listen as Corey and Tracy talk about their thoughts on sharing every fleeting thought to non-disclosure to dishonesty in relationships. They discuss how defining transparency with your partner is key and how being transparent with yourself is also important in living your own truth. Hear about Corey’s hairdressing skills as a kid and the secret she harbored for years, along with Tracy’s teen behavior that she kept quiet from her parents, and how both decided back then that secrets were not their thing. Tune in to find out more! Show Notes: 8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner. Privacy Versus Secrecy-Read the piece by Jodie Milton and Reece Stockhausen on Practical Intimacy differentiating between privacy and secrecy. Gestalt-Learn more about Gestalt psychology. Gisèle Pelicot-Read about this story of a woman’s survival from her husband’s orchestration of sustained sexual assaults over the years.

Join us for this amazing conversation with therapist and spiritual coach, Xandra Hawes. It’s easy to see why her friends refer to her as their galactic librarian as Xandra’s wisdom on the intersection of mental health and spiritual transformation is unprecedented. We chat with her about the importance of having a strong mental foundation in order to trust spiritual messaging, how partners with different spiritual evolutionary paces can support each other, the process for karmic healing, and the notion of “dropping density.” If you are looking for validation, explanation, or just inspiration about how you can spiritually thrive while in your relationship, this is an episode you won’t want to miss! Plus, Corey and Tracy have some insight to drop too . . . this time about high vibe friendships and heartthrob, Rob Lowe. Show Notes: Xandra Hawes-Find out more about Xandra’s therapy services and spiritual life coaching as well as read her blogs. Dialectical Behavior Therapy-Learn about mindfulness skills related to the Wise Self/Best Self/Higher Self. Advancement empathy skills-Find out about strategies for developing your empathy skills. Holiday in the Wild-Tune into this holiday rom-com starring Rob Lowe and Kristen Davis. com-Learn more about Bethany’s work with astrology, book a chart reading, and check out her book (and blog), Apologies I Never Got! Bardo-Read about the Buddhist concept that refers to the state between death and rebirth.

What does thriving in a relationship mean? According to our resident astrologer, Bethany Nicole, it involves having ease, flow, and joy. How can you ensure a thriving relationship, though? The most important way is to set yourself up from the beginning by using the dating funnel, which can help in clarifying compatibility. Once that is established, it is critical to seek energetic alignment, which involves understanding if the blueprints we use to navigate life “vibe” together. In long-term relationships, the mutual vibe might be absent or have faded over the years. While we can all “force” a relationship using our free will, it is the deep introspective work that will help us figure out if we are energetically aligned or engaging in spiritual drifting, which involves pulling our partners along for the self-growth ride, despite their disinterest in going. However, Bethany offers some great suggestions for each partner to raise their vibrations individually and together, if they are willing to put in the work. And, if you want to know how Corey and Tracy fit in with all of this, hear Bethany’s take on both their Virgo-ness and the kind of vibe they put out in the world! Show Notes: Bethanynicole.com-Learn more about Bethany’s work with astrology, book a chart reading, and check out her book (and blog), Apologies I Never Got! Check out her website at https://www.bethanynicole.com and follow her on Twitter at @Best2BBethany. Read “The Secret Energetics of Relationships.” Attachment Styles-Learn more about attachment styles – how they are formed and how they might impact your relationships. The Gift of Fear-Check out this book about how to spot even the most minimal signs of danger and thus protect yourself. Coach Dorothy-Tune in to Dorothy Johnson’s podcast about getting past heartbreak. Astrocartography-Find out more about how your birth chart intersects with various places in the world, signaling meaning for you.

Do you want to learn the secret to building a lasting relationship? Don’t we all!!? Tune in as we explore attachment, communication, perfection, and boundaries with relationship coach, Dagmar Kusiak. She shares ways to unglue yourself from childhood dynamics in order to shift relationship expectations and how her journey to better understand her father helped her process her past relationship patterns. She also asserts that “If you want to change, do things differently.” And, that it’s vital for both partners in a relationship to commit to learning and growing as “one of the best ways to learn about yourself is by being in a relationship.” Tracy shares about her changing roles as both the unprocessed and processed partner and the impact of both experiences, whereas Corey leans into the discussion on emotional boundaries, sharing that “who you want to exchange energy with, even friends, is different when you are focused on self-growth and want to be surrounded by others who are too.” In the end, they all agree that a commitment to working on yourself before entering a relationship, but also during, is the key to a lasting relationship. Show Notes: Dagmar Kusiak-connect with Dagmar, learn about her coaching, read her blogs, and take quizzes on healthy relationships! Attachment Styles-Learn more about attachment styles – how they are formed and how they might impact your relationships. Attached-Read about attachment styles from this transformative book. Heather Browne-As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy. Brené Brown-Make sure to check out the books, blogs, and TED Talk on vulnerability. Emotional Intelligence-Choose from four different EI assessments. Love Languages-Learn about Gary Chapman’s 5 Love Languages and how you like to give and receive love. Toxic Parents-Learn about the impact of childhood experiences on one’s adulthood. This is Us-Check out this TV series about a family told through a series of flashbacks. The Notebook-Watch this love story about two people from opposite social circumstances spend their lifetimes trying to reconnect.

What’s the secret to thriving relationships? Corey and Tracy have no idea, but Alain de Botton does, and we spend time bantering about his highly-watched talk from The School of Life! Author and speaker on the topic of romanticism, Botton shares how we are taught to believe in perfection, finding the right one, intuitive love, communication without words, brutal honesty, and the notion that practical life should just come naturally . . . although he readily points out that poets and authors in the 18th and 19th centuries writing on romanticism didn’t seem to talk about whose turn it was to do laundry. Tune in as Corey and Tracy discuss Botton’s ideas for thriving relationships, including providing a list of our flaws on the first date, the role of patience and not yanking the garage door off the track, as Corey says, avoiding mind reading, and forgiveness, which Tracy embraces quite handily. Both agree, though, that to thrive in a relationship, both parties must do their own work and thrive as individuals. Show Notes: Alain de Botton on Romanticism-Join the millions who have watched Botton’s talk on romanticism. 8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner. Love is Blind-Learn more about this dating reality show. Daddio-Watch Sean Penn and Dakota Johnson in a film about a conversation between a taxi driver and passenger on relationships. The Breakup-Check out this classic rom-com with Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn.

Tune in as Corey and Tracy talk about a variety of strategies to help couples communicate effectively across differences and difficulties. Hear their views on becoming too invested in other people’s choices, assessing somatic responses, identifying and challenging assumptions, empathy, and boundary setting. But, their discussion isn’t just about what one might do or say WHILE in discussion about an issue; it’s also about the conversation before the conversation – reiterating the relationship goals, laying out guidelines, and setting intentions. And, they agree that if each person is a willing partner whose primary goal is to have a healthy, productive and loving relationship, then approaching these situations with great intention can result in just that. Show Notes: Heather Browne-As a relationship expert, Dr. Heather Browne has worked with thousands of individuals and couples in psychotherapy. She is a TedX and keynote speaker, has published in hundreds of journals, has an active TikTok channel, has been featured on ABC-7 news, was the relationship expert on KDOC Daybreak OC, and is published in Inc., Toronto Sun, Thriving Family Magazine, Light + Life, BRAINZ, Scary Mommy, and Psychology Today. She is a regular guest blogger for both Links for Shrinks and for Marriage Friendly Therapists. She offers a weekly newsletter packed with tips and techniques to improve relationships and has monthly workshops! Ladder of Inference-Learn about why people “jump to conclusions” without the facts and data and how to slow that process down to come to more accurate conclusions. Feeling Wheel-Want to go deeper in your emotional exploration and find the words that describe exactly how you are feeling? Use the Feeling Wheel to get there! Appreciative Inquiry-Learn more about this philosophy, which involves leveraging strengths to find purpose. The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People-Check out this book by Steven Covey where he offers insight on principles for successful living. To Be Magnetic-Check out the Expanded podcast for information about manifestation.

Join in for an amazing behind-the-scenes conversation with Jordan Whitley from the Amazon Prime show, Tampa Baes. Jordan, along with several other women, starred in this reality series which follows a group of friends navigating the lesbian scene in Tampa/St. Petersburg. Listen as Jordan shares about balancing her long-distance relationship while filming, keeping her private life private, and what she learned about herself and how she shows up in relationships from her television experience. Corey and Jordan exchange thoughts on the familiarity effect, where fans feel like they know celebrities because they saw them on TV or heard them on a podcast. And, Tracy and Jordan both discuss overcorrecting in relationships. This is an amazing conversation you won’t want to miss. Show Notes: Follow Tampa Baes on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/tampabaesshow/?hl=en Tampa Baes-Learn more about the show and watch the trailer. Then, check out the series on Amazon Prime. Season 4 Episode 10-Tune in for our conversation with Xander Boger, reality star from The Ultimatum: Queer Love. Watch a trailer for the show and then head on over to Netflix to binge the entire series. Jordan Whitley Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jayy_whit

Don’t get into a relationship until you are healed from the last! Everyone’s heard that advice, but Antonio and Miguel just didn’t take it. Not too long after they both left toxic relationships, they met . . . at a RuPaul-inspired drag show. And, it was clear that they wanted to be together. But, they were each still working on their own healing. Instead of pushing that process aside to start “fresh,” they decided to go through their processes openly while simultaneously starting a new relationship with each other. Join us as we talk with them about their “healing together” process as well as how they help each other work through trauma triggers and red flags that come up in their own relationship. Learn about the feeling wheel, emotional intelligence, vulnerability, communication, and wellness wheel, and how they have embraced those in order to have a healthy, honest, and loving relationship. Corey pipes in with the notion that we are never quite done healing, so in essence, with every new partner, we are healing together. Let’s just call it out and do it transparently. Tracy discusses how parental trauma often cannot be forgotten, and that the trauma we carry is from more than just exes. This powerful episode will leave you thinking about the profound connection that can be developed in healing together. Show Notes: Relationship Renovation-Learn all about Tucson’s very own relationship counseling center where Corey and Tracy met Antonio. RuPaul’s Drag Race-Check out this reality show, where contestants compete to be “America’s Best Drag Superstar.” But, I’m a Cheerleader-Tune in to this 1999 movie about teens at a gay conversion therapy camp. Feeling Wheel-Want to go deeper in your emotional exploration and find the words that describe exactly how you are feeling? Use the Feeling Wheel to get there! SMART Goals-Find out more about SMART goals and how to write them. Wellness Wheel-Learn about the 8 dimensions of wellness and see how balanced you are. Queer Eye for the Straight Guy-Watch this TV series about five gay men who give fashion advice to straight men. A Million Miles Away-Check out this movie about Jose Hernandez who went from farm worker to astronaut. Bethany Nicole-Learn more about Bethany’s work with astrology, book a chart reading, and check out her book (and blog),Apologies I Never Got! Web: https://www.bethanynicole.com Twitter: @Best2BBethany Feel Good Fitness-Find out more about Antonio’s fitness classes! Tucson Clean and Beautiful-Learn more about this nonprofit organization dedicated to environmental conservation and education. Youth On Their Own-Find out more about how this organization helps homeless youth earn an education.

Check out our amazing discussion with Dr. Lori Beth Bisbey, clinical psychologist and accredited GSRD therapist, as we discuss a multitude of topics around open relationships. Lori Beth walks us through the differences between polyamory, consensual nonmonogamy, and “dating around.” Her insight provides a lot of guidance in what to do if one partner in a monogamous relationship wants to open it up – including how to communicate better, set agreements, and how to contend with jealousy. She explains how personal work around insecurities, trust, and communication, along with working with a trained therapist or coach, can be critical in forging a successful open relationship. While Corey just asks a lot of questions, as this is new territory for her, and Tracy talks about how she is absolutely 100 percent monogamous, they both help keep the conversation lively. Show Notes: The Ashley Madison Affair-Tune in to watch this docuseries on Ashley Madison, an “infidelity dating website for married people.” Lori Beth Bisbey Web: loribethbisbey.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/drbisbey TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@loribethuk Open House: The New Sex Experiment Show-Learn more about this UK reality show with couples who explore opening relationships, with Dr. Lori Beth!

Check out our heartfelt and vulnerable conversation with couple, Nic and Heidi, as they share their coming out journeys and differences in parental support. Nic discusses how her once liberal-minded “hippie” parents took an ideological turn and how that impacted her coming out and relationship with them, while Heidi talks about having an opposite experience with her conservative Christian parents who have embraced her and even Nic. What is it like for them to navigate their relationship while both experiencing vast differences in acceptance and support from their parents? Tune in to learn more about how their communication, honesty, and vulnerability allows Nic, for instance, to ask Heidi to “sit in the mess with me.” And, she does. Also, if you want to know about why you should never talk bad about Tracy’s grandma or how Corey’s mom confronted her about being gay while in a moving vehicle, this is an episode you won’t want to miss! Show Notes: Mormon No More-Tune in to this Hulu miniseries about two lesbians who leave their heterosexual marriages and the Mormon church to find love together.

How does illness impact relationships? Tune in for this insightful episode with Dr. Jackie Black, marriage educator and board-certified coach for couples, who talks us through the feelings, dynamics, and actions couples often take after finding out one partner is sick. She shares about the value of open-hearted vulnerable communication, showing up as our authentic selves, making sure the care partner tends to their needs, dealing with the grief of the loss of what the relationship was, and balancing hope and resignation. Corey shares about coping with her mom’s death, while Tracy talks about what it’s like to be there for others during a time of loss. As usual, their differences are evident, though. If you aren’t sure, listen in for their lively discussion on the spiral notebook. All in all, Dr. Jackie reminds us that while we can’t prepare for the emotions we may feel if this situation arises, we can have the “end of life” conversations with our loved ones well before so that by the time something might occur, we can focus on being there for the other person rather than trying to decipher logistical details. Show Notes: Sue Klebold-Learn more about a mom’s journey in losing her son during Columbine and how the grief impacted her and her husband. Dr. Jackie Black Web: drjackieblack.com Email: drjackie@drjackieblack.com

Listen as we chat with Charity, a late to lez, 49 year-old, looking for someone to fuel her desire to feel “alive,” and Holly, a 35 year-old Gold Star lesbian, who came out at 17, residing five and a half hours away. Tune in as they discuss setting relationship goals, challenging naysayers (although, they have had a lot of support from loved ones), communicating through a variety of methods, and offering “pre-emptive” wedding vows that offer reassurance. Don’t miss Corey’s take on the importance of having seen the movie, St. Elmo’s Fire, and Tracy’s experience with “beards” in college. All in all, this is an episode that will inspire anyone looking for love, as Charity says, “to take the lid off the box.” Show Notes: 8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner. Hold Me Tight-Check out Sue Johnson’s book about the seven critical conversations anyone in new relationships must have. Elmo’s Fire-Watch this coming-of-age movie about a group of post-college graduates navigating adulthood. Lesbian Journeys-Find out more about Charity’s lesbian events group on Facebook.

Listen as we chat with mindset and empowerment coach and founder of Club Lilles, Jaime Messina, as she talks about experiences, perspectives, and issues related to later in life lesbians. Jaime shares about her Facebook group of more than 8000 aimed to bring together “high vibe” people in the Sapphic community. She discusses why some women come out later in life, the risks and rewards of doing so, and the long-term impact of “compulsory heterosexuality.” Listen as Tracy shares about her past fear of lesbians at basketball games and Corey’s fifth grade roller-skating boyfriend, both precursors to their coming out. And, while neither Corey nor Tracy identify as later in life lesbians, they were both eager to learn and find ways to be more supportive of the challenges facing this group. Show Notes: If These Walls Could Talk 2-Watch this series that follows three lesbian couples from different decades, up against societal obstacles. Cruising Podcast-Tune in to hear stories of the last-remaining lesbian bars in America. Compulsory Heterosexuality-Learn more about this phenomenon, which can be defined as “a system that forces queer people to conform to the expectations of heterosexual, cisnormative society and pursue heterosexual relationships.” The Four Agreements-Pick up a copy of don Miguel Ruiz’s book that shines a light on self-limiting beliefs. Jaime Messina Web: jaimecoaches.com Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jaimemessina/ TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@jaimemessina Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/Jaimemmessina/ Club Lilles Web: clublilles.com Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/lilles/

Tune in for a lively conversation all about politics with Shannon Watson, the Executive Director of Majority in the Middle. Our discussion ranges from media bias to psychological safety and Ashley Madison to cancel culture. Listen as Shannon offers her own thoughts and personal experience around managing relationships across political differences as well as ideas for how to meet in the middle, passively disagree, and find commonalities. Tracy adds in her thoughts on micro and macro aggressions and Corey talks about navigating social media when your “friends” post memes and content that is counter to your beliefs. In the end, Shannon sums it up with, despite your disagreement, “Is it more important to be right(eous) or in relationship?” Show Notes: Gallup-Find out more about American’s political ideologies. Generation Z-Learn more about Gen Z’s thoughts on politics #MeToo-Learn more about this “survivor-led movement against sexual violence.” Starts With Us-Check out information on this movement about ending polarizing politics in the United States. The Ashley Madison Affair-Tune in to watch this docuseries on Ashley Madison, an “infidelity dating website for married people.” Braver Angels-Learn more about this cross-partisan organization aimed at bridging the partisan divide. Shannon Watson Web: majoritymiddle.com

What happens if you find yourself in a relationship where your expectations are different from your partner’s? Tune in for a lively discussion about what being committed to a relationship versus a person means, the notion of transference (and what that has to do with the old and new Becky on Roseanne), and the dangers of silent expectations . . . along with Corey’s grocery shopping habits and Tracy’s dislike of situationships. Whether you want to learn about how compromise and the third solution differ, the importance of relationship goals, or how to use a reassurance statement, this episode is one you won’t want to miss. Show Notes: 8 Dates-Learn about 8 critical conversations to have with your partner. Love is Blind-Learn more about this dating reality show. Frankie Bashan-Learn more about Dr. Frankie’s matchmaking and coaching services at https://drfrankie.com and follow her on Instagram at @drfrankiebashan. To Be Magnetic-Check out the Expanded podcast for information about manifestation. This is Actually Happening Podcast-Check out this weekly podcast highlighting the extraordinary. Golden Bachelor-Tune in to this reality dating show for those in their “sunset years.” The New Becky-Learn why the show, Roseanne, swapped out Becky mid-series. The New Jesus-Find out the story behind swapping Jesus’s character on The Fosters.