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Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
Camp Counselors with Zachariah Porter and Jonathan Carson
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Hey Happy Campers! Camp Counselors is a good natured podcast hosted by your favorite fake camp counselors Zachariah and Jonathan. Here at Camp Shady Birch we love the great outdoors in theory, but we’d rather spend our time making friendship bracelets, spreading camper gossip, keeping our heads in the clouds, and avoiding archery. We know we would make great camp counselors minus the fact that we know nothing about camping. So grab your sunscreen and bug spray because things are about to get campy.
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We finally got enchiladas under the waterfall in Denver at the famous Casa Bonita! What a fever dream <3This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Sponsors:➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp (and use code: camp) to get up to 15% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Reuters, “Turkey Soccer Player Gani Catan Uses CPR to Revive Seagull Struck by Ball During Playoff Match.” New York Post, 26 Feb. 2026.➜ Marshall, Colleen. “Why Millions of Dollars Is Shredded by the Federal Government Each Day.” NBC4 WCMH-TVCamp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Sorry we missed you on Monday but we are HERE! In this episode we recap our trip to Level99 where we drank, swung from ropes, and Jonathan got locked in a magician's box. Its a super fun and obnoxious episode. love youuu! This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Sponsors:➜ Tear. Pour. Live more. Go to LiquidIV.com and use code CAMP at checkout to get 20% off your first order.➜ Go to Progressive.com to see if you could save on insurance.➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPWant BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Lu, Donna. “Good Luck Dua Leaper: Scientists Return Frogs Wiped Out by Fungal Disease to Wild.” The Guardian, 3 Feb. 2026.➜ Corbley, Andy. “Frog Wiped Out by Disease Returns to the Wild With the Help of ‘Frog Spas’ and ‘Frog Saunas’.” Good News Network, 10 Feb. 2026.➜ “Chef Saves Customer’s Life (Shrimp Basket, Pensacola, Florida).” TODAY.com, Accessed 10 Feb. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
We’re back from the road with a fresh batch of tour tales! We were staying on the same floor as the Chicago Bulls and got the chance to train like an athlete when a fire alarm caused us to haul these big ole thighs up 13 flights of stairs! From there we get into the important stuff: the very questionable legality of NYC bodega cats, the man who broke into a Little Caesars to make and sell pizzas (kinda a hero... very Sammich coded). We address the special kind of torture that is "trying to buy concert tickets online," Canadian cafe haters on Yelp, and so much more!!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Sponsors:➜ Get 20% off your first order, plus free shipping at MeUndies.com/counselors and using our code: counselors➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPWant BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Agence France-Presse. “New York Seeks Rights for Beloved but Illegal ‘Bodega Cats’.” The Straits Times, 10 Feb. 2026.➜ “Man Breaks into Little Caesars, Starts Making and Selling Pizzas, NC Police Say.” The Charlotte Observer, 3 Feb. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode we share listener submitted stories about a camper looking to make a life change and become a work force diva, a blind dog who turned one summer night upside down, and a camper's wet and wild lake day went south.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this episode of Camp Counselors Podcast, we continue the tour saga with a trip to Charleston, an absolutely fabulous stop for our first time at Buc-ee's, a long haul to Raleigh, and then a cute little meltdown moment when our flight to Atlanta got canceled because of a freak snowstorm. AYY!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Sponsors:➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.➜ Go to FactorMeals.com/camp50off and use code camp50off to get 50% off plus FREE breakfast for a year!➜ Skip the junk without overspending. Head over to ThriveMarket.com/camp to get 30% off your first order and a FREE $60 gift.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Frederick, Nathan. “High School Students Repair Cars and Give Them to Single Moms: ‘You’re Really Making a Change in the World.’” Good News Network, 24 Jan. 2026.➜ Tierney, Brendan. “Nashville Family Fights HOA over Generator Use during Ice Storm.” WSMV, 28 Jan. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode we share listener submitted stories about a camper who went looking for romance and found a job pitch that was completely nuts, a camper on a revenge body journey that got a little too cheeky, and a camper who packed for every family emergency except the one that actually showed up.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week we’re sharing the wild travel diaries from Zachariah’s Big Back Behavior Tour. From Phoenix, Arizona to Los Angeles, El Cajon, and Seattle. We kick things off in Phoenix with an unexpected obsession: Circle K?! Ummm ever heard of her?? Don't worry, Jonathan took the world's worst pictures on his new digital camera. In LA, we stayed in Beverly Hills, drove by the Playboy Mansion, and hit the road from LA to El Cajon!! Then things took a serious turn in Seattle when a fan broke into our green room. PLEASE DO NOT EVER DO THAT! Heightened security measures are now in action. As if that wasn’t enough, we got slammed by a winter storm, lost heat at home, and survived a San Diego to Boston flight that made an emergency landing in Philadelphia. Woof. It's a lot and we're getting into it all.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Sponsors:➜ Go to BollAndBranch.com/camp to get up to 20% off, plus free shipping on your first set of sheets. Exclusions apply. See site for details.➜ Feel your best self, every day with IM8. Go to IM8health.com/CAMPCOUNSELORS and use code CAMPCOUNSELORS for a Free Welcome Kit, 5 free travel sachets, plus 10% off your order.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ “Oscar Mayer’s Wienermobile Race Is Coming Back to the Indy 500.” AP News, 26 Jan. 2026.➜ Nazzaro, Tim. “‘Difficult Decision’: Campbell’s to Close Iconic Cape Cod Chip Plant in Hyannis.” WCVB, 30 Jan. 2026.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about a camper trapped in a family feud with a public comment section, a camper who learned the horrors below the backyard trap door, and a camper with zero spatial awareness and maximum destruction.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!SPONSORS➜ Talk it out, with BetterHelp. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at BetterHelp.com/CAMPCheck out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Hey happy campers! Our heat went out while we were on tour and unfortunately we could not record a new episode in the 30 degree studio while strange men worked on our house. Full horror story coming next Weds. So sorry, we hope you understand.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode, we read listener submitted stories about a camper whose casual drive became a public takedown, a camper who really put a skid-mark on Highway 94, and a tale of a witch and her turkey sandwich.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sources:➜Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode, we read listener submitted stories about camper seeking advice for her mom’s new boyfriend’s gardening tool, a story about a camper who went from ice princess to public enemy number one, and a camper who’s lie at theater camp would surely get her cancelled on the internet.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This episode is all over the place. Jonathan may have witnessed a crime (and is both willing and able to be subpoenaed), while Zachariah is convinced that his new snatched bod has put him on every kidnapper’s radar. PLUS there is a Thai fortune-teller drama unfolding (tea) and Illinois is being lame by rejected vanity license plates (booo!) There is almond milk slander, gummy vitamin love, and obvi so much more.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Sources:➜ Sarkar, Alisha Rahaman. “Fortune-teller accused of stealing client’s phone to make ‘bad luck’ prophecy come true.” The Independent, 2 Jan. 2026.➜ Miller, Violet. “‘IBPOOPN’ and ‘ICUP’ among 550 license plates rejected by Illinois secretary of state.” WBEZ Chicago, 22 Dec. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about camper whose ring doorbell proved she had an alarming repeat visitor, a camper who committed a finger-lickin’ cover-up, and a story about a camper whose ski trip took a turn halfway down the mountain.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
Yet another wildly unqualified gay podcast handing out awards! Welcome to The 2nd Annual Nunu Nana Awards! Today we celebrate the best of what we talked about last year and the absolute worst, with winners chosen by you, our noble campers. ALSO! We have a very special guest announcer: The Tipson Hotel's very own Carey Martin, actress Kim Rhodes! In this episode, we reveal the highhly anticipated results for 8 categories: Excellence in Disruptive Behavior, Daddy of The Year, Mother of The Year, Uncalled for Buffoonery, The Freak Behavior After Freak Behavior Lifetime Achievement Award, Excellence in Twisting The Plot, Take A Hike of The Year, and Camper Crush of the Year! Thank you for voting, and congratulations to tonight’s winners.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode, we are reading listener-submitted stories about camper who went searching for a hot military pen pal, but instead got a humbling reality check, a college partner project feud got so bad it ended up in the news, and a camper who turned heads all day, but not in the way she’d planned.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In our final episode of the year we’ve got some big surprises. Counselor Zachariah finds out his mom has a secret half-brother! Speaking of brotherly love, we also get into our love for the Jonas Brothers Christmas movie, judge some truly unwell neighbor holiday decor, and make an important announcement: we’re taking a short break from the podcast, but we’ll be back in the new year. Plus, we get into a James Bond jewel thief, and Quinta Brunson’s field trip fund. Obviously we have to wrap up the year with some ranting and question why skydivers are scattering ashes… in the sky? Also what the even heck is up with the GPS screaming directions at full volume while we are posing at a public rest stop?? And of course, we end on the important stuff: ribbon candy love, baking timelapse obsession, and a couple songs to carry you into the season.Your civic duty as campers begins now: vote in the Nunu Nana Awards at CampCounselorsPodcast.com/vote! Winners announced in the 2nd annual Nunu Nana Award Ceremony on January 14, 2026.This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Corlett, Eva. “Man Charged with Theft after Allegedly Swallowing Fabergé Pendant in Jewellery Store.” The Guardian, 2 Dec. 2025.➜ Gonzalez, Alex. “Quinta Brunson Launches ‘Field Trip Fund’ For Philadelphia Schools.” Complex, 5 Dec. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
In this mini episode, we’ve got another batch of listener-submitted stories. First up, one camper needs help addressing an uncomfortable situation with her stepson's very loud very gay late night wrestling. Then we take it to Pittsburgh, where a summer school van run turns into a literal cliffhanger. And finally, we enter the realm of spiritual warfare: a teen gets dragged to a priest for an exorcism.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Check out our website and submit your inquiries for advice, juicy gossip, confessions, and horror stories!Camp Songs: Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.
This week at Camp Shady Birch, we’re unwrapping the worst part of the holidays: truly unhinged gift guides and the chaos of simply being alive in December! Counselor Zachariah kicks things off with a parking violation saga for the ages after he found a bright orange sticker slapped on his perfectly legal parked car and immediately took to the internet to publicly drag the culprit. Festive! Counselor Jonathan dives into the wild story of a magician who implanted an RFID chip in his hand for magic tricks and then forgot the password to his own hand. It's giving tech anxiety. Also, a new study about how urban raccoons are literally evolving shorter snouts and showing early signs of domestication just from living in our cities and eating our garbage. We love new housemates!! They should pay rent lol! We've got the annual curse of dry cracked knuckles, terrible holiday gift guides, undying love for gingerbread men and why they’ve finally (rightfully!!) become the face of the holiday season this year, and so much more!This episode was mixed and edited by Kevin Betts.Get your tickets to see Zachariah Porter's new Live Comedy Tour!Want BONUS CONTENT? Join our PATREON!Works Cited:➜ Pring, Joe. “Magician ‘Forgot the Password’ to His Own Hand after Locking Himself Out of Implanted RFID Chip.” Dexerto, 22 Nov. 2025.➜ Hill, Marta. “Urban Raccoons Are Showing Signs of Early Domestication, With Shorter Snouts Than Their Rural Cousins.” Smithsonian Magazine, 21 Nov. 2025.Camp Songs:Spotify Playlist | YouTube Playlist | Sammich's Secret MixtapeSocial Media:Camp Counselors TikTokCamp Counselors InstagramCamp Counselors FacebookCamp Counselors TwitterSee Privacy Policy at https://art19.com/privacy and California Privacy Notice at https://art19.com/privacy#do-not-sell-my-info.





Ya'll get an avocado mattress they're HEAVEN
kill me I'm crying out loud at work and my coworkers are looking at me!!! glow stick story is hilarious 😂
I did giggle, lol
I'm crying laughing about vegetable oil. thank you for making my day great
Just listened to this Podcast. My friend turned me on to you guys. I'm so glad you two love Cincinnati. I live in Fairfield a few miles away from "The Jungle". That's what locals call it. It's like an adult field trip...lol. Hope you get back soon 😍