Shrink For The Shy Guy

🌟 In this empowering kickoff to 2026, Dr. Aziz challenges a deeply held belief: that being nice means you care more. In fact, the opposite might be true. In this episode, you’ll discover how what looks like “caring” is often fear, over-responsibility, and codependence in disguise. If you’ve been stuck in people-pleasing, constantly saying yes when you want to say no, feeling guilt when others are upset, or believing your worth is tied to keeping everyone happy—this episode is your wake-up call. Dr. Aziz breaks down the emotional trap of chronic niceness and reveals how true caring comes not from fear, but from authenticity and healthy boundaries. 🎧 Ready to stop living for others’ approval and start living as you? Tune in now and learn how to liberate yourself from the Nice Cage—once and for all.   ----------------------   A couple of weeks into a new year, a quiet question tends to surface—sometimes with excitement, sometimes with dread: Is this year actually going to be different? Not in the hype-driven, “crush your goals” sense. Not in the motivational-poster version of change. But in the places that matter most. In how you feel inside. In how free you feel socially. In whether you finally stop holding back, second-guessing yourself, or feeling like you’re never quite enough—no matter how much you achieve on the outside. That’s the territory we’re stepping into here. Not weight loss. Not business optimization. Not productivity hacks. Those matter, sure—but they’re not my wheelhouse. What I help people change is something deeper: social confidence, emotional freedom, the ability to be fully yourself without fear, apology, or chronic self-monitoring. And the truth is, most people don’t fail to change because they lack desire. They fail because they’re choosing comfort over truth.   Why Comfort Is the Silent Enemy of Real Change When people say they want to change—be more confident, build deeper relationships, speak up, date, lead, or finally feel like they belong—the question isn’t what they want. The real question is: Are they actually going to do the things required to get it? Most people aren’t lying to others about their intentions. They’re lying to themselves. They say they’re “working on it.”They read books.They listen to podcasts.They talk things through with therapists, coaches, or even AI. And all of that can be valuable. But here’s the hard truth I’ve seen over and over again: You can work on something for years without ever transforming it. Because working on it can still be comfortable. Talking about change is comfortable.Understanding your patterns is comfortable.Analyzing your past is comfortable. Transformation is not.   The Difference Between a Challenge and a Core Challenge Some difficulties in life are seasons. Others are core challenges. A core challenge isn’t something everyone goes through in the same way. It’s a recurring pattern that stays with you for years—sometimes decades—unless something fundamentally shifts. For some people, that’s addiction.For others, chronic pain.For many professionals I work with, it’s social confidence, belonging, and self-worth. If you’ve been trying to feel more confident or connected for years—and despite effort, insight, and intention, you still feel stuck—that’s a sign you’re dealing with something core. And core challenges don’t resolve through “tending.” They resolve through new experiences.   Why Insight Alone Isn’t Enough Understanding why you’re anxious doesn’t cure anxiety. Knowing where people-pleasing came from doesn’t automatically free you from it. Because the real issue underneath social anxiety and excessive niceness isn’t tactics—it’s relationship. Your relationship with yourself.Your relationship with other people.Your belief about whether you’re lovable, acceptable, and safe to be seen. That belief doesn’t change through thinking. It changes through risk. You have to risk being more real.You have to risk saying no.You have to risk being visible, honest, imperfect, and human. And when you do—with the right structure and support—something extraordinary happens: You discover that you survive.You discover that people don’t leave.You discover that you can handle discomfort. And slowly, your nervous system learns a new truth. Looking at the map doesn’t get you across the bridge. You have to walk it. Why Most People Stay Stuck (Even When They’re Trying) What I see again and again is this pattern: People avoid discomfort.Then they decide to “work on themselves.”But they choose a comfortable way to do it. And when comfort is the priority, deep change never happens. So they try again next year.And the year after that.And five years later, they’re still saying, “I’m working on it.” Eventually doubt creeps in. Maybe this can’t change.Maybe this is just who I am.Maybe I waited too long. And that doubt becomes yet another reason to retreat back into familiarity. The Truth Most People Don’t Want to Hear Here it is—clearly, honestly, and without sugarcoating: Most people will never resolve their core challenges. Not because they’re broken.Not because it’s impossible.But because it requires a level of commitment, discomfort, and courage they never fully claim. And if you feel something stirring as you read this—resistance, resonance, or even fear—that’s not a problem. That’s a signal. It’s the same signal I’ve heard in my own life.The call to liberation.   What Makes 2026 Different (If You Let It) Radical transformation is possible. Not perfection.Not a life without anxiety or doubt.But a life where confidence becomes your default—not something you chase. Where you stop negotiating with yourself every time you want to speak, connect, or assert your needs. Where belonging isn’t something you earn from others—but something you carry inside. I know this is possible because I’ve seen it—hundreds of times—over nearly two decades of doing this work. And the people who get there aren’t the most talented or disciplined. They’re the ones who finally choose truth over comfort.   A Question to Sit With As you move forward this year, don’t ask: “What do I want?” Ask instead: “What am I truly willing to commit to—even when it’s uncomfortable?” Because that answer will tell you everything you need to know about whether this year becomes another chapter of effort… or the beginning of real freedom. Until we speak again,have the courage to be who you are—and know, on a deep level, that you belong.

Think you care too much about other people’s feelings? Think again. In this bold kickoff to 2026, Dr. Aziz pulls back the curtain on the real reason “nice people” overextend themselves, struggle to say no, and feel constantly responsible for everyone’s emotions. Spoiler alert: it’s not because they care too much—it’s because they’re trying to stay safe. Deep down, many people-pleasing behaviors are driven by fear, guilt, and the unconscious belief that your worth hinges on making others happy. In this eye-opening episode, you’ll learn: Why over-functioning and “caring” often mask codependency The hidden emotional cost of being overly responsible How niceness traps you in an outdated identity that’s not really you The essential difference between real care and fear-based appeasement Why it’s time to update your inner operating system—not just tweak your habits If you’ve ever said yes when you wanted to say no, answered texts out of anxiety, or felt guilty for simply protecting your time and energy, this episode will speak to your soul. And it will challenge you to finally liberate yourself from the nice person identity and step into the bold, authentic leader you were meant to be. Dr. Aziz also shares a powerful invitation to make 2026 the year you fully upgrade your life—starting with your confidence. Tune in, commit, and get ready to reclaim your freedom.     --------------------------------------------     Why “caring” can be fear in disguise—and how to break free from the Nice Cage Most people start the new year thinking about goals: relationships, health, career, money, confidence. But underneath all of that, there’s a deeper goal. Liberation. Liberation from the old identity. Liberation from the old operating system. Liberation from social anxiety, people-pleasing, self-doubt… and the nice cage that keeps you small. And today I want to challenge one of the biggest beliefs that keeps “nice” people trapped: Nice people don’t actually care too much. That might sound surprising—because nice people often feel like they care more than everyone else. They feel guilty if someone’s upset. They say yes when they want to say no. They carry other people’s emotions like they’re responsible for them. And they tell themselves: “I care about them, so I can’t disappoint them.” “If I say no, it means I don’t care.” “If they’re struggling, who am I to refuse?” “A good person should help.” But here’s what I want you to see: When it feels like you care too much… it often isn’t caring at all. It’s something else masquerading as care. The Nice Cage: When “being good” becomes self-erasure Niceness can feel like virtue. It can feel like love. It can feel like generosity. It can feel like being a “good person.” But a lot of the time, niceness is actually a strategy—an unconscious survival strategy—to stay safe. Because underneath niceness is a fear that sounds like: “If I upset people, I’ll be rejected.” “If I disappoint them, I’ll be abandoned.” “If they’re angry with me, I’m not safe.” “If I don’t keep them happy… I’m bad.” So niceness becomes a cage: you keep trying to be acceptable, agreeable, harmless. And the cost? You don’t live your life. You live a managed version of yourself. The big misunderstanding: “Caring” vs. fear Nice people don’t actually care too much. They often have something else running the show: 1) Codependence Codependence is basically: “I’m okay if you’re okay. And if you’re not okay… I’m not okay.” So if someone is happy, you relax. If someone is disappointed, irritated, stressed, or hurt—you go into emergency mode. Your hair is on fire. “What do you need?” “How do I fix this?” “How do I make it right?” And it feels like caring. But really, it’s fear. 2) Over-responsibility This is the core belief behind niceness: “I am responsible for your emotional state.” Not that you’re responsible to feed someone like a baby— but you feel responsible for whether they’re upset. So you avoid saying no. You avoid being direct. You avoid expressing your truth. You override your own needs. Because if they’re upset… you feel like you’ve done something wrong. The “or else” feeling: the clearest sign it’s fear Here’s one of the easiest ways to tell whether something is care or fear: If it has an “or else” feeling—it’s fear. “I have to respond right now… or else.” “I have to say yes… or else.” “I have to make them happy… or else.” “I can’t disappoint them… or else.” That “or else” is not love. That “or else” is survival mode. And it’s usually not about the current situation—it’s an old pattern repeating itself. Why niceness drains your vitality Here’s the truth that many nice people don’t want to look at: You will not be fully alive in the nice operating system. At best, you can build a life that looks okay on the outside… but it doesn’t feel like your life—because you’re not being you. And eventually, the nice pattern catches up. burnout resentment being taken for granted relationships that feel one-sided physical symptoms, stress, tension, pain a shrinking life No matter how much you give, the answer becomes: “Give more.” More helping. More fixing. More proving. More caretaking. And that’s not a path to freedom. The shift that changes everything The way out is not “try harder.” You can’t over-function your way out of this. The way out is a deeper realization: What you’ve been calling “care” is often fear. And when you see that, something opens up: Saying no becomes healthy—not cruel Boundaries become respectful—not selfish Truth becomes connection—not danger You stop trying to manage people’s emotions You start living your life again Because this is the mature truth: Other people are responsible for their emotions. And you are responsible for yours. Real emergencies vs. emotional discomfort Sometimes people say, “But isn’t it important to show up for others?” Yes. There are real crises in life. There are emergencies. There are moments when love calls you to step up. But here’s the problem: Nice people treat everyday discomfort like an emergency. Someone is frustrated. Someone is impatient. Someone wanted something faster. Someone admits disappointment. And your nervous system reacts like: “Danger. Fix it now.” That’s the pattern. And breaking the pattern means you stop treating emotional discomfort as an alarm bell you must obey. Your action step: upgrade your operating system If you want to get free, you’ll need more than a small tweak. This isn’t “be a little more assertive.” This is: Commit to a deeper level of change. A full operating system upgrade. A decision that says: “This year, I’m no longer living inside the nice cage.” “I’m no longer responsible for managing other people’s emotions.” “I will be honest, direct, kind, and real.” “I will live as me.” Because liberation doesn’t happen from a wish. It happens from commitment. Why environment matters (and how transformation accelerates) Personal responsibility matters. But you don’t have to do it alone. One of the fastest ways to change is: Commitment + the right environment. That’s why I’ve spent decades investing in mentors, coaching, groups, and training environments. Because the right environment speeds up what would otherwise take years. And if you want to do deep work on people-pleasing, niceness, social anxiety, and living with real confidence…  If you’ve been listening to this show for a while and you feel drawn to do this work deeply, you might be a fit for my Unstoppable Confidence Mastermind. It’s a 12-month program designed to help you: break free from social anxiety and people-pleasing build bold, authentic confidence speak up, set boundaries, and stop over-functioning create real change that sticks It’s immersive support over a full year: live calls with me, step-by-step guidance, progress tracking, quarterly check-ins, and a curated community. If you want to explore it, you can apply using the link above.   You don’t need to become harsh. You don’t need to become selfish. You don’t need to stop caring. You just need to stop confusing fear with care. And when you do, you get something back that you might not have felt in a long time: Freedom. The freedom to be fully you. Until we speak again—have the courage to be who you are, and to know on a deep level that you’re awesome. Quick Recap Nice people don’t care too much. They often fear too much. Watch for these signals: “or else” urgency automatic yes guilt when someone’s disappointed over-responsibility for emotions The shift: Other people manage their emotions. You manage yours. The commitment: Upgrade the operating system. Live outside the nice cage.

What if your self-doubt wasn’t something you had to live with? What if you could become truly doubtless—able to believe in yourself fully and trust life, no matter what? In today’s powerful episode, Dr. Aziz shares the origin story and key insights behind his brand new book Doubtless: How to Believe in Yourself and Trust in Life. You’ll learn how self-doubt forms, why it persists even after personal growth, and how it subtly robs you of joy, freedom, and authenticity. Dr. Aziz explores the deeper armor we all build to protect ourselves—and how that same armor becomes a cage. He introduces a new way forward: a path of liberation, where you build not just unshakable self-confidence, but a living trust in life itself. If you've ever felt like fear or inner control mechanisms are holding you back—especially after achieving outer success—this episode will speak directly to your soul. Plus, discover how to get your copy of Doubtless and join the free masterclass to start your own journey.--------------------------------------- What if the thing holding you back isn’t a lack of confidence—but a lack of trust? Most people assume that self-doubt means you don’t believe in yourself enough. And while that’s partly true, it’s only half the story. Because even when you do believe in yourself—your skills, your intelligence, your capability—you can still feel anxious, guarded, and unsure deep down. That’s where doubtlessness comes in. Being doubtless isn’t about hyping yourself up or convincing yourself you’re amazing. It’s a state of being where self-doubt no longer runs the show. Where you trust yourself and trust life enough to move forward, even when you don’t have certainty, guarantees, or perfect understanding. Self-doubt often disguises itself as being “reasonable.” It sounds cautious. Mature. Sensible. But underneath, it’s usually a protective strategy—something you learned long ago to avoid pain, rejection, or humiliation. Maybe you were laughed at when you expressed yourself. Maybe you were judged, criticized, or shut down. And somewhere along the way, you built armor. That armor may have helped you survive. But years later, it quietly becomes a cage. “Self-doubt isn’t wisdom—it’s armor that’s grown too tight.” Doubt shows up in familiar ways: questioning your instincts, dismissing your desires, postponing what matters to you, or needing to fully understand something before you allow yourself to act. It keeps you stuck in your head, trying to control outcomes, emotions, and even life itself. And control feels safer than uncertainty—until you realize how much aliveness it costs. Some of the most meaningful moments in life don’t come from certainty or logic. They come from letting yourself be moved. From trusting an inner pull you can’t fully explain. From allowing life to move through you without needing to justify every step. That’s the difference between believing in yourself and trusting life. Believing in yourself gives you courage to act. Trusting life gives you permission to let go. And both are required to truly become doubtless. Becoming doubtless isn’t a switch you flip or a quote you memorize. It’s something you cultivate over time—like building a muscle and tending a garden at once. You create the conditions. You learn to recognize how doubt hooks you. You stop obeying its rules. And gradually, something new grows: a quieter mind, a more grounded body, and a deeper sense of inner safety. From that place, authenticity becomes natural. Connection feels less forced. Decisions feel clearer. You don’t need certainty to move forward anymore—you need alignment. And when you start living this way, life begins to feel less like a battle you must win and more like a relationship you can trust. That’s the invitation of doubtlessness. Not to eliminate fear entirely—but to stop letting fear decide who you get to be. Because when doubt no longer runs your life, what opens up isn’t just confidence—it’s freedom. And that freedom allows you to finally be 100% you. Get the Book on Amazon Purchase Become Doubtless on Amazon (Kindle & Paperback):👉 https://a.co/d/5hdcSYXBook Bonuses & Resources Access bonus materials, masterclasses, and companion resources for the book: 👉 www.socialconfidencecenter.com/doubtlessbook Learn more about Dr. Aziz, his work, and coaching programs: 👉 www.socialconfidencecenter.com/

🌟 In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz explores a surprising truth that almost no one talks about: self-confidence alone can only take you so far. If you’ve ever worked hard to become more confident—only to still feel anxious, overwhelmed, or like the next level of life is somehow out of reach—this conversation will hit home. Dr. Aziz breaks down what he calls the self-confidence ceiling—the invisible limit you run into once you’ve taken risks, pushed yourself, built skills, and created a good life… and yet still feel anxious, grasping, or afraid of losing what you’ve built. Through stories of his own journey and powerful metaphors (the famous red, green, and gold balls), he reveals why success can sometimes increase anxiety, and what deeper ingredient is needed to finally feel grounded, secure, and free. You’ll discover why confidence without trust eventually collapses under its own weight, and why true liberation comes from pairing “believe in yourself” with something bigger: a lived sense of trust in life itself. This subtle shift unlocked a profound transformation in Dr. Aziz’s relationships, peace, and purpose—and it’s the core of his upcoming book Doubtless. Packed with insight, humor, and honest personal stories, this episode invites you into a new phase of growth—beyond performance, beyond proving yourself, and into a deeper kind of freedom. 🎧 Ready to break past your self-confidence ceiling and step into something greater? Tune in now and learn the missing piece that makes confidence finally feel effortless, stable, and real. ------------------------ When Self-Confidence Isn’t Enough There’s a moment in your growth when you look around at your life and think: “Shouldn’t I feel better than this?” You’ve worked hard. You’ve pushed yourself. You’ve taken the risks, had the breakthroughs, improved your relationships, built your career, maybe even created a life that younger you never thought was possible. And yet… the anxiety doesn’t fully go away. It shifts. It takes on a new shape. That’s what this episode dives into—the surprising point where self-confidence stops being enough, and why so many high-functioning, self-aware people suddenly feel overwhelmed, afraid, or “on edge” right when life gets good. I call this moment the Self-Confidence Ceiling. In this episode, I share how I personally smashed into that ceiling—even after overcoming years of social anxiety, breaking free from people-pleasing, building deep relationships, and creating work I love. I thought I had “made it.” But instead of peace, I found myself more anxious than ever… not because life was bad, but because it was good. Really good. When you’ve been pulling red balls for years—rejections, setbacks, pain—you learn how to handle the struggle. But when you start pulling green balls—love, success, connection, purpose—suddenly you have something precious to lose. And that’s where fear can explode. “The better it gets, the more danger your nervous system predicts.” Maybe you’ve felt that too. That tightening in your chest when things are going well. That fear that the other shoe is about to drop. That constant scanning for what might go wrong. This isn’t a failure of confidence—this is the boundary line between self-confidence and something deeper: trust in life. For years I could talk about trust, teach trust, write about trust. But emotionally? Physically? Nervously? I didn’t trust anything. Not the good. Not the stability. Not the love. Not the blessing of a beautiful home, two little boys, my marriage, my work, my clients, my health—none of it felt safe. I was hypervigilant, checking for danger everywhere. And I had no idea why. This episode walks through the moment everything shifted—when I realized I wasn’t facing a skill problem or a mindset problem. I was facing a faith problem. Not faith in a religious sense, but a faith in life, in goodness, in the unseen forces that hold us, guide us, and love us even when our minds doubt it. It’s the journey that led to my new book, Doubtless: How to Believe in Yourself and Trust in Life, which is finally coming out next week. (We’re putting the finishing touches on it now!) And on the release week, I’ll be teaching a free live masterclass on how to stop living in fear and finally trust the good in your life. I’ll share the link as soon as it’s ready. Make sure you’re on my email list so you don’t miss it. If you’ve ever felt like your anxiety shouldn’t be this strong… if you’ve ever wondered why success still comes with fear… if you’ve ever sensed that self-confidence alone can’t lift the weight you’re carrying… this episode will speak directly to your heart. Because you’re not broken. You’re not failing. You’re simply bumping into your next breakthrough. And on the other side of that ceiling is a life of freedom, connection, gratitude, and trust that you absolutely can access. This episode is the doorway. Let’s walk through it together.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz dives into one of the most subtle yet powerful patterns that drives social anxiety and people-pleasing: the fear of other people’s feelings. Ever find yourself unable to say no, worrying you’ve upset someone, or constantly trying to make sure everyone feels okay, even at your own expense? This episode exposes the hidden contract behind those patterns: the belief that you’re responsible for managing other people’s emotional states. Whether it’s guilt when someone’s sad, panic when they’re angry, or discomfort even when they admire you, this episode helps you finally break free. You’ll learn how this core fear is rooted in outdated childhood wiring and how you can begin to rewire your system so you’re no longer held hostage by others’ moods. Through powerful examples and real-life metaphors, Dr. Aziz shows you a way out of emotional over-responsibility and into a life of greater freedom, truth, and inner peace. You’re not here to manage everyone’s feelings. You’re here to live your life.” 🎧 Ready to stop walking on eggshells and reclaim your emotional freedom? Tune in now and learn how to stay centered even when others feel upset.----------------------------------------------------------- Ever feel like you’re walking through life on emotional eggshells? You say yes when you want to say no. You soften your words to avoid upsetting someone. You apologize even when you haven’t done anything wrong. If you relate to that—this message is for you. Because what’s really going on isn’t just conflict avoidance… it’s fear. Specifically, the fear of other people’s feelings. The Hidden Fear Driving Nice People Most “nice” people think their problem is caring too much. But beneath that is a quiet, anxious belief: “If they feel bad, it means I’m bad.” You might not say that out loud, but it runs the show. Someone’s disappointed in you? You feel guilt. Someone’s angry? You feel panic. Someone’s sad? You feel pressure to fix it. It’s as if their emotions automatically become your responsibility. But here’s the truth: you were never meant to manage other people’s feelings. The Unspoken Contract You Never Signed Somewhere along the way, you adopted a silent rule: “It’s my job to make sure everyone around me feels good.” This “emotional management contract” runs deep. It might have started in childhood—trying to keep peace in your family, soothe a stressed parent, or calm the tension in the room. Over time, your nervous system learned: Safety = everyone else is okay. That worked back then. But as an adult, it keeps you trapped. You become hyperaware of others’ moods, scan faces for disapproval, and feel anxious any time someone around you is upset. “You can’t live your purpose if you’re constantly managing everyone’s emotions.” How to Break the Contract Freedom begins with a radical new truth: You are not responsible for anyone else’s emotional state. That doesn’t mean you stop caring or turn cold. It means you stop trying to control how others feel. When someone is upset, you can still be kind, compassionate, and curious—without collapsing into guilt or scrambling to fix it. You might say, “I hear that this is hard for you,” while also staying grounded in your own truth. This is emotional adulthood. Two people. Two nervous systems. Each responsible for their own feelings. The Practice of Emotional Freedom Start simple. When you notice that urge to make someone feel better, pause. Take a breath and remind yourself: “They are an adult. They can manage their own emotions. I can manage mine.” That single thought reclaims your energy, your peace, and your presence. Over time, you’ll stop flinching when people are upset. You’ll stop over-apologizing. You’ll stop fearing disapproval. And you’ll start showing up as the real you, grounded, open, and free. You Can Be Loving Without Losing Yourself Being kind doesn’t mean being controlled. Being compassionate doesn’t mean being compliant. You can love deeply and hold your center. The next time someone around you feels disappointed, angry, or sad—let them. You don’t have to fix it. You just have to stay present. Because when you stop fearing others’ feelings, you finally start living your own life.

In this vulnerable and revealing episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz returns from a life-changing couples workshop with a fresh insight into what really causes social anxiety and people-pleasing and how to heal it from the inside out. Most people try to overcome self-doubt by repeating affirmations, striving harder, or becoming their “ideal” version of themselves. But as Dr. Aziz explains, this fantasy self is actually wrapped around a much deeper wound: a core belief that we’re not enough or not lovable as we are. Drawing from powerful moments during the retreat, he unpacks how insecure attachment leads to chronic feelings of unworthiness and how our attempts to “fix” ourselves only deepen the cycle. You’ll learn how the path to lasting confidence doesn’t come from becoming more, but from reconnecting with your authentic self, one that is already whole and worthy. Using a powerful metaphor of braided ropes, Dr. Aziz helps you see the loop you might be caught in and how to step out of it for good. "Everything is changeable. 100%. It’s not about becoming someone else. It’s about coming home to who you already are." Ready to heal the root of social anxiety and step into real freedom? Tune in now and rediscover your worth.   ---------------------------------------------- Have you ever wondered why you still feel not enough, no matter how much you achieve, improve, or try to please? Why confidence sometimes feels like an act, and connection like a test you can fail? What if the real issue isn’t that you’re broken but that you were never fully bonded? In this episode, I want to take you deeper to the root of social anxiety and people pleasing. Because beneath the awkward moments, the self-doubt, and the endless striving lies something much more fundamental: a missing sense of I’m okay as I am. The Real Source of “I’m Not Enough” At the heart of social anxiety isn’t fear it’s disconnection. When you were young, something subtle but powerful happened: a gap formed between the love and security you needed and what your environment could provide. It wasn’t your fault, and it doesn’t mean your parents didn’t love you. But that gap created what psychologists call insecure attachment a deep, body-level sense of I’m not safe, I’m not held, I’m not enough. “Social anxiety and people pleasing aren’t personality flaws—they’re attachment wounds trying to feel safe.” That unease in your body becomes the foundation of every “I’m not enough” story: “I’m not interesting enough.” “I’m not attractive enough.” “I’m not confident enough.” We try to fix the feeling by building a better self—a “fantasy self”—that will finally be lovable. But that striving only tightens the knot. The Fantasy Self Trap When we feel not enough, we look for clues about who we should be. Dad liked when I was smart? Be the smart one. People admire success? Chase success. Everyone loves charm? Learn to perform. Piece by piece, you build your fantasy self the polished, perfect version of you who finally earns love, approval, and belonging. But here’s the painful secret: no matter how many boxes you check, the emptiness doesn’t go away. The rope of your life twists endlessly between two strands—the blue rope of not-enoughness, and the orange rope of the fantasy self. Around and around you go… striving, achieving, collapsing. Until you realize: the problem was never you. It was never the missing strand. It was believing you needed to become someone else to be loved. The Way Out: Relearning Love The healing of social anxiety and people pleasing isn’t about becoming your fantasy self—it’s about coming home to your real self. “You don’t need to earn love. You need to experience being loved as you are.” This isn’t theory. It’s a retraining of your nervous system—a gradual, embodied relearning that you are safe, seen, and worthy exactly as you are. You don’t fix it with affirmations. You heal it through experience: letting yourself be seen, receiving care, allowing love in. That’s the work and yes, it’s vulnerable. But it’s also freedom. Coming Home to Yourself This isn’t a quick fix. It’s a practice, like learning to move your body again after years of tension. You build it by showing up, by practicing openness, by letting go of the fantasy self one thread at a time. And then one day, you wake up and realize—you don’t need to become enough. You already are. Because confidence isn’t built on pretending to be someone else. It’s born the moment you finally allow yourself to be you.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz offers powerful insight into what to do when you feel like giving up. Whether you're trying to build confidence, face your fears, or push through challenges, there are times when progress feels slow and resistance feels overwhelming. Dr. Aziz unpacks the real reason we feel discouraged and why it’s often not about the actual results we’re getting. You'll discover how unrealistic expectations and unconscious comparisons can drain your motivation and how to shift back into momentum with self-compassion and clarity. Packed with honesty, humor, and actionable tools, this episode is a reminder that you're not broken, you’re just human. And the key to long-term change isn’t forcing yourself forward, but learning how to keep going with heart. 🎧 Feeling stuck? Tune in now and reignite your courage to keep moving forward—no matter what.     -------------------------------------     Ever have one of those days where you just don’t have it in you? You’ve been working on your confidence, trying to speak up, take risks, connect more—but then something happens. You freeze in the meeting. The conversation flops. Someone says “no.” And suddenly that old voice kicks in: “See? You’ll never change.” That voice pulls you down fast. You stop taking action. You retreat. You tell yourself you’re “just busy” or “need a break.” But what’s really happening is something deeper—something every courageous human faces on the path to confidence.   The Doubt Storm Whenever you stretch beyond your comfort zone, you awaken an old gravitational force I call the doubt storm. It’s that heavy pull toward discouragement, self-criticism, and hopelessness. You start circling the drain with thoughts like: “I’m never going to figure this out.” “Something’s wrong with me.” “It always ends this way.” And once that story takes over, it feels impossible to fight. But this is where real confidence begins—not in the easy wins, but in your capacity to weather the storm without giving up. “Confidence isn’t built in your victories. It’s built in the moments you refuse to quit.”   1. Be the Mountain in the Storm The most powerful thing you can do when discouragement hits isn’t to fix it—it’s to stop running from it. Imagine yourself as a mountain. The storm comes, winds howl, rain lashes against you—but the mountain doesn’t move. It stays steady. Set a timer for five minutes. Sit. Breathe. Notice what’s happening: Breath. Feel the air move in and out. Thinking. Name the thoughts: “thinking.” Feeling. Name the emotion: “sadness,” “fear,” “frustration.” Sensation. Notice where it lives in your body. Sound. Listen to the room around you. This practice grounds you. You don’t have to solve the storm—just outlast it. It always passes.   2. Recenter: How Am I Steering? Once the storm quiets, you’ll see clearly again. Now ask yourself: “How am I steering my life right now?” Most suffering doesn’t come from circumstances—it comes from how we’re relating to them. You can’t control if someone says yes or no. You can’t control the outcome of a meeting or a date. But you can control how you show up. “You can’t steer the storm, but you can steer yourself.” Choose to play the long game. Choose curiosity over desperation. Choose connection over control.   3. Keep Showing Up Your only real job is to keep showing up for your growth. Not perfectly. Not fearlessly. Just consistently. Because every time you face a setback and keep going, you’re reprogramming the story of who you are—from “someone who can’t” to “someone who persists.”   You’ve Got This Confidence isn’t a straight line. It’s a spiral—up, down, forward, backward. But if you stay in the process long enough, you will win. You’ll speak freely, connect deeply, and move through life with the calm power of someone who knows their worth. So when the next storm comes, don’t panic. Be the mountain. Breathe. And remember: this is how confidence is built—one courageous choice at a time.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the secret to boosting confidence while dissolving anxiety and it’s not another breathing exercise or mindset hack. It’s a deeper shift in how you see yourself and how you approach life. Most people try to overcome fear by gritting their teeth and pushing through. But what if you could unlock a bold version of yourself that actually wants the challenge? Dr. Aziz introduces the powerful identity of the Bold Explorer a part of you that thrives on uncertainty, risk, and discovery. Whether you're working to speak up at work, approach someone you're attracted to, or just stop overthinking every social interaction, this episode gives you a new way to show up with strength, courage, and yes, more fun. Ready to activate the version of you that’s fearless, adventurous, and fully alive? Tune in now and start living like the bold explorer you were born to be.     ---------------------------------------------     If you’ve tried all the “calm down” hacks—meditations, breathing apps, mantras—and still find anxiety waiting for you at work, on dates, or before you speak up… this is for you. There’s a faster path than soothing your nerves in the moment: change who’s showing up. When you do, confidence rises and anxiety dissolves—without white-knuckling your way through it. “Confidence isn’t something you earn— it’s something you remember.” The One Shift: Become the Bold Explorer Anxiety spikes when the “stay-safe” part of you takes the wheel. Instead, step into a different identity: the Bold Explorer—the part of you that seeks growth, welcomes the unknown, and chooses meaningful risk over comfortable stagnation. Explorers don’t wait to “feel ready.” They move toward the edge on purpose. Try this: Before a conversation, meeting, or date, pause and say (quietly or aloud), “I’m a Bold Explorer. Let’s see what’s here.” Notice how your posture, breath, and tone shift toward grounded courage. “Boldness is always rewarded: with aliveness, with wisdom—and often with wins.” Why This Kills Anxiety (and Builds Real Confidence) Most people dip a toe outside their comfort zone, endure the fear, then retreat. That trains your body to associate growth with threat. The Explorer flips the script: discomfort becomes a signal of aliveness, not danger. When your brain interprets the moment as chosen adventure, your nervous system calms and capability expands. Two guaranteed payoffs every time you act boldly: Aliveness — You feel more awake, present, and powerful. Wisdom — You learn faster through doing than by rehearsing in your head. Make It Practical: An Explorer’s Daily Reps Name the Expedition. What’s today’s “edge”? Speaking up once in a meeting? Starting a conversation? Sending the pitch? Write it down each morning: “Today’s exploration = ___.” Use the 5% Rule. You don’t need to cliff-jump. Reveal 5% more, ask one deeper question, take one bolder step than yesterday. Anchor the Identity (Cold Shower Primer). Tomorrow morning, take a 30–60 second cold shower. Not for biohacking bragging rights, but to train your brain: I move toward what’s uncomfortable on purpose. Then carry that energy into the first bold action of your day. “Don’t wait to feel brave. Act—then let your feelings catch up.” Final Word: This Is Who You Are You’re not building a new self from scratch—you’re remembering the part of you that has always been willing to try, to learn, to live fully. When the Explorer leads, anxiety loses its grip because there’s nothing to defend—only something to discover. You can do this. Stand a little taller. Breathe deeper. Choose one bold step today. And watch how confidence rises while anxiety quietly fades into the background.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz issues a bold 7-day challenge that just might transform your confidence: stop apologizing. Not when you bump into someone, but the deeper, more compulsive “I’m sorry” that leaks out when you speak up, have needs, or reveal who you are. If you’ve ever found yourself saying “Sorry to bother you” or “I’m sorry, that was probably too much…”—this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals why chronic apologizing isn't just a bad habit—it's a deep, unconscious signal that says “I’m not allowed to exist as I am.” You’ll learn how these little apologies sap your power, disconnect you from others, and reinforce toxic self-doubt. Packed with stories, humor, and a clear 7-day “apology fast” experiment, this conversation will help you ditch the reflex, reclaim your voice, and show up unapologetically real. Ready to stop shrinking and start owning your space? Tune in now and begin your 7-day confidence reboot.---------------------------------------------- How many times did you apologize today? If you’re like most people, it’s probably more than you realize. “I’m sorry” slips out when we bump into someone, when we speak up, when we share something personal, and when we even exist in a way that might inconvenience someone. But here’s the truth: you’re not being polite—you’re being powerless. For one week, I want to challenge you to stop apologizing unnecessarily. What happens next might shock you. The Addiction You Don’t Realize You Have Over-apologizing feels harmless—like good manners. But in reality, it’s an emotional addiction. Every “I’m sorry” is a tiny attempt to soothe discomfort. You’re trying to make sure no one’s upset, that no one disapproves, that everyone’s okay with you. It’s a self-soothing reflex, just like reaching for sugar or scrolling endlessly on your phone. It gives you a micro-hit of safety… at the cost of your power. The moment you say “sorry” when you’ve done nothing wrong, you send a subconscious message to yourself: “I’m a problem. I shouldn’t exist this way.” And you don’t just say it once—you reinforce it dozens of times a day. The Cost of Compulsive Apologizing At best, this habit makes you seem uncertain. At worst, it damages your confidence and your relationships. When you apologize for having an opinion, for asking a question, or simply for speaking up, people don’t feel more comfortable around you—they feel disconnected. It’s like you shared a genuine moment, and then poured cold water all over it. I’ve seen clients apologize for being seen: “I’m sorry, I know I’m talking too much.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to bother you.” But when you say sorry for simply being human, what you’re really saying is: “I’m sorry for who I am.” And that is the one apology you must stop making—forever. The 7-Day Apology Fast Let’s make this practical. For the next seven days, go on what I call an Apology Fast. That doesn’t mean you never apologize. Real apologies—where you’ve acted outside your values or hurt someone are powerful and healing. But all the other ones? The nervous, automatic, I just want you to like me apologies? Those go. Here’s how: Notice it. Catch yourself the moment you say “sorry.” Interrupt it. Imagine the gentle but firm correction: “Ah-ah. Leave it.” (Yes, like training a puppy!) Replace it. Instead of “sorry,” say something direct and grounded. Try “thank you for your patience,” “excuse me,” or simply say nothing at all. Keep score. See if you can reduce your unnecessary apologies each day. The Real Transformation When you stop apologizing for existing, something beautiful happens: You start to take up space. You start to feel solid. You start to respect yourself. And that shift ripples outward. People listen more closely. You speak more clearly. You move through the world as someone who knows—deeply—that they belong. So, for seven days, no unnecessary “I’m sorry.” Just you unfiltered, unapologetic, and free. Because confidence doesn’t come from being perfect. It comes from finally realizing you have nothing to apologize for.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz shares the Top 3 Keys from the Extremely Confident Conversation Master Training—a powerful 3‑day virtual workshop designed to help you break free from self‑doubt, deepen real connections, and show up fully as yourself. Whether you attended the event or missed it, this episode distills the most transformative takeaways you can apply right now to create more ease, connection, and confidence in every conversation. Discover how to reignite your natural desire for connection, rebuild your innate capacity for authentic conversation, and dissolve the illusion that you don’t belong. Dr. Aziz reveals why connection is not optional—it’s essential—and how to overcome the hidden beliefs and fears that keep your heart closed or your confidence limited. Packed with humor, stories, and actionable insights, this episode invites you to open your heart, take bold social risks, and remember that you already belong. 🎧 Ready to unlock deeper connection and social freedom? Tune in now to Shrink for the Shy Guy and discover the 3 keys that can change how you show up in every conversation.----------------------------------------------- What if connection isn’t something you have to earn… but something you already deserve? Most people spend their whole lives trying to “get better” at talking to others—learning the right things to say, the right tone, and the right body language. But at the root, confidence in connection has nothing to do with perfect lines or tricks. It’s about how open your heart is, how much you trust yourself, and whether you believe you belong. After teaching my Supremely Confident Conversation Master workshop for the seventh time, three powerful lessons stood out that will change how you relate to everyone—from strangers to soulmates. 1. You Have to Want It You can’t create real connection if you’ve convinced yourself you don’t need it. Maybe you’ve been hurt before. Maybe you got rejected, ghosted, or left behind. Somewhere along the line, you told yourself, “I’m fine alone.” But that story isn’t strength—it’s self-protection. Connection is not optional. It’s essential. Just like your body needs water, your soul needs genuine human connection. When you shut that part of yourself down, you start to feel the symptoms: emptiness, numbness, endless scrolling, constant distraction. When you wake up to that truth, something inside reignites. That quiet hunger to feel seen, heard, and loved—it’s still there. You just have to admit it’s real. 2. Your Capacity for Connection Is Innate You don’t need to “learn” how to talk to people—you were born with the ability to connect. If you’ve ever laughed with a friend, comforted someone in pain, or told a story that lit up a room, that’s it. That’s the real you. Somewhere along the way, fear, criticism, or trauma might’ve dimmed it—but it’s still in there. When I see people go from isolated and anxious on Day 1 of my workshop to laughing and connecting effortlessly by Day 3, it’s not because they learned a few “social tricks.” It’s because they remembered who they were before fear took over. Like learning to walk again, it takes a little practice. You might wobble at first, but once you remember how natural it feels, it becomes effortless. You already have everything you need. 3. You Belong Everywhere You Go The deepest illusion of social anxiety is the belief that you don’t belong. You can be surrounded by people who welcome you—and still feel like an outsider. But belonging isn’t something others give you. It’s something you choose. When that voice says, “I don’t fit in,” challenge it. Ask, “What if I already do?” At the event, we practiced a simple phrase: “I belong at every table.” Say it until it feels less like a lie and more like a truth waiting to surface. Because when you act as if you belong, something miraculous happens—people start responding to you as if you do. You Don’t Have to Wait to Be Ready If you’ve been waiting to “feel confident” before taking action—stop waiting. Confidence doesn’t come before connection. Connection builds confidence. Take one small step today. Say hi. Ask a question. Share a story. Take a risk. You might stumble—but you’ll also start to feel alive again. Because you do belong. Everywhere you go.

In this episode of Shrink for the Shy Guy, Dr. Aziz reveals the surprising antidote to anxiety—and it’s not a breathing trick, mindset hack, or self-soothing technique. It’s something much deeper, much more powerful... and much more liberating. If you’ve ever struggled with social anxiety, performance anxiety, or general fear about future events—this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz breaks down what actually creates anxiety (hint: it’s not the situation itself) and why so many well-meaning efforts to manage or eliminate anxiety fail. You’ll discover how attachment to specific outcomes fuels fear, and how opening to all outcomes can set you free. Packed with stories, metaphors, and practical insights, this conversation invites you to stop clinging, start choosing, and reclaim your peace and personal power. 🎧 Ready to step into real freedom? Tune in now and learn how to live without fear holding you back.--------------------------------------- Do you get nervous before social events, presentations, or even small conversations? Do your palms sweat, your mind race, or your stomach knot up? What if I told you that anxiety isn’t actually in the event itself—and that realizing this could be the first step to freedom? Many people assume the fear they feel is because the situation is “scary.” Public speaking terrifies them. Approaching someone attractive feels impossible. Even something as simple as paying taxes can trigger tension. And while these experiences feel real, the truth is: anxiety isn’t in the circumstance—it’s in how you relate to it. “Pick any situation—bungee jumping, giving a presentation, meeting someone new. There’s always someone who feels terrified, and someone who feels excited. Anxiety isn’t the event—it’s in the attachment to the outcome.” The Hidden Ingredient of Anxiety So what creates anxiety? One word: attachment. It’s the intense need for things to go a certain way. The desire for approval, for everything to be perfect, for no awkward pauses or mistakes. This attachment fuels your nervous system: muscles tense, your mind spins, and panic can emerge—even before you’ve begun. Think about it. You’re anxious because you want someone to respond positively, or you need the conversation to hit a certain standard, or you fear judgment if you stumble. That clinging, that insistence that the outcome must be perfect, is the root of anxiety. “If attachment is in your cookie recipe, it’s going to taste like poop. That’s what anxiety feels like.” Letting Go Without Giving Up Here’s the liberating truth: the antidote to anxiety is letting all outcomes be okay. Open to the possibility that things might not go exactly as you planned—and that you will still be okay. This doesn’t mean being passive or careless. You still show up, do your best, and steer toward the outcomes you want. But beyond your control? It’s no longer a source of fear. Start small: identify a situation that triggers anxiety. Notice what outcome you’re attached to—and which outcomes you consider “unacceptable.” Then, in a safe, relaxed environment, imagine those outcomes unfolding—and allow yourself to feel okay if they do. This mental exposure gradually rewires your nervous system. You discover that you can show up fully, navigate uncertainty, and still thrive. Over time, anxiety dissolves—and you step into life more fully, whether that’s giving a talk, approaching someone new, or handling the unexpected with calm confidence. You Can Choose Freedom Anxiety doesn’t have to control you. Once you see it for what it is—attachment and clinging—you can begin to loosen its grip. Life becomes a playground for growth instead of a minefield of fear. “You can show up, be seen, and be okay no matter what happens. That’s freedom. That’s courage. That’s living fully.” The first step is noticing your attachment, letting go of the need for control, and practicing tolerance for uncertainty. The more you do it, the more anxiety dissolves—and the more you reclaim your life, moment by moment.

In today’s episode, we dive into a powerful truth: becoming more magnetic and attractive doesn’t require abs, money, or status—it starts with how you see yourself. If you’ve ever felt like you’re just not desirable enough, that something is wrong with you, or that others wouldn’t want to be close to the “real you,” this conversation will shift everything. Dr. Aziz shares his personal journey from years of insecurity, social anxiety, and rejection to finding genuine freedom and connection. You’ll discover why your belief that you’re not attractive is the actual block—not your looks, your personality, or your past. The secret? A willingness to let yourself be seen and known. And not just intellectually, but emotionally—fully and courageously. If you want more magnetism, more connection, and more real confidence in every area of life—from friendships to dating to your career—this episode is for you. Tune in now, and take the first step toward living life unhidden.------------------ Most people think being magnetic and attractive is about perfect abs, flawless hair, or saying all the right things. But the truth is, the biggest obstacle to your natural magnetism isn’t your appearance at all—it’s what you believe about yourself. In this post, you’ll discover why your “fantasy self” is quietly sabotaging your confidence and how you can start becoming irresistible right now, without changing who you are. The Biggest Block to Attraction (And It’s Not Your Looks) When I ask clients why they hesitate to approach someone, they’ll grimace and say, “It’s not going to go well.” Underneath that is a story: I’m not magnetic, I’m not attractive, and I’m not desirable. This story creates a trap. We tell ourselves, “I’ll finally put myself out there when I’m thinner, richer, more interesting, or more confident.” That version of you—your “fantasy self”—never gets anxious, always knows what to say, and looks amazing. Until you become that version, you stay hidden. But here’s the cost: life passes you by. You miss out on connection, love, friendships, and opportunities that are available right now. The real obstacle isn’t that people wouldn’t be drawn to you—it’s that you’re telling yourself you’re not attractive enough to try. The Real Secret to Being Magnetic: Willingness to Be Seen and Known Let me give you the great secret right now: attraction begins with a willingness to let yourself be seen and known. Being “seen and known” isn’t dumping your deepest trauma on a first date. It’s showing your aliveness—your thoughts, your feelings, your humor, your enthusiasm—in the moment. It’s being curious about someone else while allowing them to experience you. Most people try to connect without vulnerability. They hide behind a performance, hoping to look perfect enough to earn approval. That doesn’t create magnetism; it creates distance. Real magnetism is showing up as yourself—5% more real than you were yesterday. My Turning Point (And Why It Matters to You) I know this because I lived it. For over a decade, from middle school into college, I believed I was unattractive and undesirable. Even when a girl clearly showed interest—like the first time someone kissed me at a sleepover—I avoided her the next morning. My story (“she’d never really want me”) was stronger than reality. Later, I dove into pickup advice, learning how to act bold and impressive. It helped me get dates but not real relationships. Why? Because I was still hiding my true self. It wasn’t until my late 20s, when I began practicing vulnerability, that everything shifted. You don’t need to wait as long as I did. The sooner you practice letting yourself be seen and known—even a little—the sooner you become naturally magnetic. Your Action Step: Be 5% More Real This week, don’t try to overhaul your whole personality. Instead, experiment with being just 5% more real. Share a genuine thought or feeling when you’d normally stay guarded. Show a little more curiosity, warmth, or enthusiasm in your next conversation. It’s not about being perfect. It’s about gently retraining your nervous system to see that revealing yourself is safe—and often rewarding. Closing Inspiration You don’t have to wait until you’re flawless to be magnetic. You’re already more attractive than you think. All it takes is the courage to be a little more real, a little more open, and a lot more you. And if you’re excited to go deeper into these skills, stay tuned: in October I’ll be leading a live, virtual workshop called Supremely Confident Conversation Master where we’ll practice these tools together in real time. Pencil in the dates—October 10th–12th—you won’t want to miss it. Until then, remember: have the courage to be who you are. On a deep level, you’re awesome.

Do you ever say, “I just don’t like talking to people,” or “That’s not my scene,” and leave it at that? In this episode, we dig deeper into that resistance—what’s really behind the stories we tell ourselves about not wanting to socialize. Whether it’s shyness, discomfort, or old fear masked as preference, Dr. Aziz unpacks how these beliefs can limit connection, joy, and opportunity. You'll learn how to move through that inner “I don’t wanna” voice, what it takes to build real social confidence (even if you're more introverted), and how to stop shrinking your world out of fear. If you’re ready to drop the excuses, expand your comfort zone, and experience more freedom in social situations, listen now. And if you want to go further, check out the link below to join the Supremely Confident Conversation Master workshop—happening soon.------------------ "Resistance and fear only have power if you let them control your choices." Do you dread networking events, parties, or casual social interactions? Maybe you tell yourself, “I’m not the kind of person who does this,” or “It’s just not my scene.” Over time, these stories create a version of yourself that avoids connection, missing friendships, opportunities, and growth. The good news: talking with people can be enjoyable—and even energizing—once you understand the patterns holding you back. The Hidden Block: Avoidance and Resistance Most social anxiety isn’t about the people around you—it’s about your internal response. Resistance, aversion, and fear mask themselves as judgments about the environment or other people. You might think, “Everyone’s superficial, it’s going to be boring, I don’t fit in here,” when really your fear of judgment or rejection is driving the story. Here’s the truth: naming your discomfort and recognizing it as natural is liberating. You don’t need to eliminate fear—you need to act despite it. "The truth will set you free, man. When you name your fear, that’s an act of courage." The Cold Plunge Principle: Embrace Discomfort Imagine a cold plunge: it feels awful before you step in, but exhilarating afterward. Social interactions work the same way. The initial hesitation is temporary—your mind says “don’t go,” but when you act, you experience confidence, connection, and flow. Terrible before, awesome after. That’s the reality of human interaction. The more you step into conversations, the easier and more natural they become. Over time, your nervous system rewires old patterns of avoidance. Steps to Actually Enjoy Talking With People Notice your fear: Identify what you’re avoiding. Is it judgment, rejection, or uncertainty? Connect with purpose: Ask yourself, “Why does this interaction matter?” Focus on curiosity, contribution, or connection rather than performing. Take small actions: Approach one person, start with a greeting, or ask a simple question. Each step builds confidence and reduces avoidance. You don’t have to become an extrovert. The goal is to feel comfortable in your own skin and engage as yourself. You can enjoy meaningful interactions without forcing charisma or overthinking every word. "Every time you step forward, whether it’s a hello, a conversation, or attending an event, you reclaim a piece of yourself." The Invitation Life is short, and avoidance only fuels regret. Social freedom starts with courage and intentional action. Step into the room, move toward connection, and allow yourself to be fully present. As you practice, the joy of conversation will replace fear and resistance. "You have the courage to be who you are. Trust it, embrace it, and know on a deep level that you’re awesome."

Most people try to manage their social anxiety — rehearsing what to say, overanalyzing every conversation, and worrying endlessly about what others think. But what if you didn’t have to manage it anymore? In this powerful episode, I share what it takes to eliminate social anxiety at its core. Not just coping strategies — but true liberation. You’ll discover the root cause of social anxiety, how your body unconsciously chooses fear, and how to reroute that pattern toward real confidence and connection. If you've ever wanted to go from anxious and self-conscious to bold and free, this episode is for you. Tune in now to learn how to stop avoiding and start living — and if you’re ready to go further, check the description for a link to my upcoming virtual workshop: Supremely Confident Conversation Master.---------------------- “Social freedom isn’t about never feeling nervous—it’s about never letting fear control your life.” Do you predict rejection before you even approach someone—before sending that email, making a phone call, or asking someone out on a date? Do you feel that inner bracing, that tension preparing for the “no” you fear? If so, you’re not alone—and there’s a way to change it. Understanding the Fork in the Road Imagine you’re hiking in the mountains and come to a fork in the trail. One path is treacherous, winding, and exposes you to danger—never leading to the town you’re trying to reach. The other path is rocky but leads to connection, safety, and community. Social anxiety works the same way: the “wrong” path is the one where fear dictates your actions, keeping you stuck in hesitation, self-doubt, and overthinking every interaction. The critical insight is this: social anxiety isn’t caused by other people. It’s not about their judgment, disapproval, or indifference. It’s about what you do with those perceptions—the fear, shame, and self-criticism that rise in response. Once we see rejection or judgment as dangerous, we retreat, hide, or perform, creating the very symptoms we want to avoid. The Real Problem: Patterns, Not People “Social anxiety is a pattern, not an identity. You can change the pattern and experience a different result.” Predicting rejection creates self-fulfilling prophecies. If you approach every conversation expecting judgment, your behavior shifts: hesitancy, guardedness, or over-pleasing takes over, which often leads to exactly the outcome you feared. But the good news is that this pattern is retrainable. By recognizing the automatic response to perceived threat, you can consciously choose a different path. Taking Action: Inner and Outer Strategies Inner Action: Examine your default rejection pattern. What do you tell yourself when someone says “no” or doesn’t respond as hoped? Write it down, notice it, and question it. Start creating new responses that empower rather than limit you. Outer Action: Gradually expose yourself to low-stakes rejection. Say “hi” to people in a busy area. Notice reactions—some will ignore you, some will respond. Allow yourself to experience discomfort without catastrophe. This is like exposure therapy: small, repeated steps that retrain your nervous system. The shift comes from seeing that a “no” is not a threat. It’s not the end of connection or self-worth. You’re learning to approach interactions with curiosity, courage, and authenticity, rather than fear. Moving Toward Social Freedom The ultimate goal isn’t perfection or constant approval—it’s liberation. Social freedom means you can connect, engage, and express yourself fully without being hostage to fear of rejection. You may still feel nervous sometimes—that’s human—but it won’t control your behavior. Take one small step today. Say “hi,” send that email, or make that phone call. Notice your fear, face it, and move forward anyway. Over time, this rewires your confidence and opens the door to authentic connection, lasting relationships, and meaningful opportunities. “You don’t need to wait for everyone to say yes. You need the courage to be yourself—and that is enough.”

If you've ever walked away from a conversation cringing, overanalyzing what you said, or feeling disconnected and uncomfortable… this episode is for you. Dr. Aziz reveals exactly what causes those awkward moments—and how to stop them for good. You’ll learn the different types of “awkward,” why it’s not actually about what you said, and how your inner narratives (not your social skills) are often the real culprit. He’ll also guide you through powerful mindset shifts that melt away social tension and help you show up more relaxed, confident, and authentic. Plus, get a sneak peek into Supremely Confident Conversation Master, Dr. Aziz’s upcoming virtual event where you’ll not only learn tools to master conversations—you’ll practice them live with others. Whether you want to stop overthinking, deepen connections, or finally feel at ease in any interaction, this episode is the first step. 🎧 Tune in now to break free from awkwardness and experience the power of showing up as the real you.-------------------------------------------------- Have you ever left a conversation feeling embarrassed, replaying every word in your head, thinking, “Ugh, that was so awkward”? You’re not alone. Awkward conversations are painful—not just in the moment, but in the aftermath, haunting you long after the words have been said. But what if I told you that “awkward” doesn’t actually exist in the way you think it does? Redefining Awkward: It’s Not What You Think Most people use the word “awkward” as if it’s a tangible thing, like a chair or a water bottle sitting in the room. “It was awkward,” they say. But here’s the truth: awkward isn’t real. What you’re actually feeling is discomfort—anxiety, embarrassment, or self-consciousness. And the other person? They probably didn’t notice a thing. When you start labeling your interactions as awkward, you amplify your inner anxiety. Suddenly, the focus isn’t on connecting—it’s on whether you’re performing correctly, saying the “right” thing, or being judged. That’s when social anxiety takes over, and the moment you could enjoy becomes a moment you dread. Three Ways to End Awkwardness 1. Notice Your Inner Critic Much of what makes a conversation feel awkward comes from inside. That voice telling you, “They’re judging you” or “You shouldn’t say that” hijacks your focus. Begin by observing this voice without judgment—it’s separate from you. Awareness is the first step to quieting it. 2. Focus on the Interaction, Not the Outcome Awkwardness often emerges from attachment to a specific result. You want someone to like you, or to agree with you, or to be impressed. Shift your attention from what you want to happen to what’s happening in the conversation. When you engage without needing to control the outcome, the interaction naturally becomes more relaxed and authentic. 3. Build Real Connection Skills Being comfortable in conversation isn’t about memorizing lines or following a rigid formula. It’s about developing presence, confidence, and the ability to relax into the moment. When you feel grounded and self-assured, the words will come naturally. You don’t need to be perfect—you need to be human and fully present. Awkward Is Optional The good news? You can learn to experience conversations without that inner turmoil. By redefining what awkward really is, understanding the source of your discomfort, and practicing presence over performance, you can transform every social interaction into an opportunity for connection, clarity, and confidence. So next time you step into a conversation, remember: awkward isn’t real. Anxiety is just a feeling, and it doesn’t define your interactions. You can walk away from every exchange feeling lighter, freer, and more connected than ever before. You have the power to end awkwardness—and embrace conversations that are genuinely enjoyable. Start today. Your confidence—and your connections—will thank you.

Welcome to this week’s episode, where we dive into one of the biggest emotional traps that keeps people stuck—guilt. Whether it's around setting boundaries, saying no, or just doing what you want, guilt can silently run your life. We’ll break down what actually causes guilt (hint: it’s not just someone else’s reaction), how to spot the invisible strands of the “guilt web,” and what it really means to live free from it. If you've ever felt selfish for protecting your time or space, this episode is going to shift everything. Plus, I’ll share exciting updates about the upcoming Supremely Confident Conversation Master virtual event happening October 10–12, where we’ll not only talk about this stuff—we’ll practice it live. Ready to stop feeling bad for being honest? Listen now and learn how to step out of the guilt trap—once and for all.---------------------------------- Guilt. Oh yes, guilt. It comes up in so many areas of life—relationships, work, social obligations. In fact, it’s one of the biggest obstacles to setting boundaries. Many people get stuck not because they fear conflict, but because they fear guilt—the heavy, internal tug that fires off the moment you consider saying no. But here’s the good news: you can shift this experience and navigate your interactions without getting trapped in the web of guilt. Why I Call It the “Web of Guilt” I call it a web because that’s exactly how it feels—sticky, entangling, and hard to escape. Imagine a spider web with a bug trapped in the middle. Every strand pulls, tugging the bug in multiple directions. Guilt works the same way. There are many invisible strands—often subconscious—that keep us tied to other people’s expectations, imagined or real. But just like some insects are resistant to spiderwebs, you can learn to navigate guilt without getting stuck. It’s tempting to blame the other person. You might think: “I feel guilty because I said no, and they’re upset.” Not quite. Guilt is internal. The other person’s emotions—whether upset, disappointed, or angry—don’t automatically trigger your guilt. Here’s a quick test: imagine a random stranger demands your meal at a restaurant. Most people wouldn’t feel guilty. Why? Because you don’t believe you owe them anything, and you don’t inhabit a reality where refusing is “wrong.” In real life, the people you care about matter—but guilt still comes from your interpretation of the situation, not from their feelings. How the Guilt Machinery Works You imagine the other person is hurt or upset.Even before they respond, you anticipate disappointment or anger. You step into a “bizarro reality.”In this reality, you’re responsible for all of their discomfort. Every missed expectation feels like a moral failing. The guilt fires automatically.Your mind labels you as selfish, bad, or wrong—even if your actions are fully respectful. Sound familiar? That’s why guilt can feel so inescapable—it’s a mental construct, not a reflection of reality. Healthy reality: You communicate what you want or don’t want authentically and respectfully. They may feel disappointed, but you haven’t done harm. Insano reality: You bend over backward to avoid discomfort at all costs, sacrificing your needs endlessly. Even then, disappointment may still occur. Living in the insano reality keeps you trapped in relationships, obligations, and roles you never really wanted—all fueled by guilt. Here’s an example: A friend invites you to a run that’s longer or faster than you’re comfortable with. You check in with yourself: “Do I really want to do this?” You might respond: “Saturday won’t work for me, but how about we run together Thursday instead?” Notice what happens here: You honor your own needs You communicate respectfully You offer an alternative without over-apologizing or overexplaining Guilt might still surface—but by staying anchored in your reality, you keep control and avoid the sticky strands of the web. But here’s some exciting news—very soon you’ll be able to sign up for Supremely Confident Conversation Master. The event is October 10–12, virtual, so you can join from anywhere. I’ll talk about it more next week when the link and registration are ready, but for now, just pencil the dates in—trust me, you won’t want to miss it. There’s going to be brand-new material: new ways I teach you how to feel interesting, know that you bring value to any social interaction, and gain the skills to keep conversations going without awkwardness, worry, or running out of things to say. And of course, we’ll practice these skills live in real time, just like all my events. If you’re not on my email list yet, now’s a great time to sign up—you’ll hear about the early-bird special and get first access. Guilt is internal, layered, and often imaginary. You don’t need to absorb or fix everyone else’s feelings. By practicing self-awareness, respectful communication, and boundary-setting, you can navigate social interactions guilt-free. And stay tuned—next week I’ll share more tools from Supremely Confident Conversation Master that make it easier than ever to feel confident, engaging, and in control in any conversation.

Want to speak up more confidently in meetings—whether it's a one-on-one with your boss or in front of a whole group? If you've ever stayed quiet even when you had something valuable to share, this episode is for you. We’re diving into what holds you back, how to shift the way you see yourself, and powerful tools to start showing up with boldness at work. Plus, I’ll share a special invitation to my only virtual event this year. 🎧 Hit play and let’s help you become more visible, confident, and influential in every conversation.------------------- If you struggle with speaking up in meetings, you’re not alone. Many people I work with are highly skilled, intelligent, and capable—they do great work—but when it comes to the social side of work, they retreat. They recede into the background, becoming the wallflower of the meeting. And it doesn’t matter whether it’s a one-on-one with a supervisor, a small team of two or three colleagues, or a large group of ten or twenty—this pattern shows up everywhere. For many, especially those who have a history of people-pleasing, the anxiety is subtle at first. They freeze, hesitate, or simply stay quiet. Virtual meetings can make it even easier to hide—camera off, muted, and invisible. I’ve had clients tell me that, since working with me, they started turning their cameras on during meetings, and they noticed a profound shift in how present and engaged they felt. Before, avoidance ruled their behavior. Now, with awareness and practice, they’re stepping forward. Avoidance may seem harmless, but it comes at a cost. Professionally, it can limit your growth. I can’t tell you how many people have shared with me that they were passed over for promotions—not because their work was lacking, but because they didn’t speak up. Others who spoke more, shared ideas freely, and took visible action often got ahead, even when their ideas weren’t better. This isn’t fair, but it’s reality. Social visibility matters. It also impacts your confidence and self-esteem. When you retreat, you reinforce the belief that your voice isn’t valuable. You diminish your own engagement and sense of power at work. But here’s the truth: showing up, speaking, and sharing your ideas builds confidence. It strengthens your presence. It reminds you that you have something valuable to contribute. So how do you shift this? Start by recognizing the root of your anxiety. Most often, it comes from a fear of judgment. You imagine that if you speak, someone will think you’re incompetent, awkward, or weak. That fear drives invisibility, pushing you toward the wallflower role. And that association—visibility equals danger—is deeply ingrained for many people. If you’ve ever been embarrassed, criticized, or dismissed, your mind naturally links attention with pain. But this association is wrong. Being the center of attention is not automatically dangerous or bad. You’ve been projecting your fears onto others, assuming judgment, when in reality, people are rarely as focused on you as you think. Understanding this projection is the first step in breaking the freeze. Your fear isn’t about them—it’s about the story your mind is telling. Once you recognize the story, you can start practicing presence. Begin small: contribute one idea in a meeting, answer a question, or share a brief thought. Gradually increase your participation until speaking up feels natural. Remember, visibility is a skill. Like any skill, it strengthens with practice. The more you engage, the less frightening it becomes, and the more confidence you build. Conversations—whether one-on-one, in small teams, or in large meetings—are opportunities to practice this skill. They are not threats. Each time you step forward, you prove to yourself that you can be heard, that your ideas have value, and that visibility does not equal harm. This principle applies beyond work too. Public speaking, social gatherings, even family discussions all benefit from the same practice. Every brave step you take in one arena reinforces your courage in others. If you want a focused, immersive way to accelerate this skill, consider my upcoming virtual event, Supremely Confident Conversation Mastery. Over three days, we’ll dive deep into conversation mastery, work on speaking confidently in any setting, and even explore storytelling to help you own the room. It’s a live, interactive experience—nothing compares to throwing yourself in and practicing in real time. If you’re ready to transform your confidence and your career, this is the opportunity. Remember, confidence isn’t about never feeling fear. It’s about acting despite it. Speaking up is a muscle—every time you use it, it grows stronger. The more you show up, the more natural it becomes. The wallflower in meetings can step into the room with presence, authority, and impact. And that is the work, the practice, and the gift of building real confidence.

If you ever feel anxious when interacting with others—whether you're sharing your thoughts, speaking up, or simply being seen—you're likely running a powerful, hidden pattern. In this episode, we’ll uncover what that pattern is, how it silently runs the show, and how to break free from it. Dr. Aziz shares a transformative insight about the story we tell ourselves—“they don’t like me”—and how this subtle but constant belief fuels anxiety, guilt, and people-pleasing. You’ll learn how to spot when this belief is activated, why it’s totally made up, and what to do to shift into a more confident, grounded state. Get ready to break free from the fear of being disliked, stop bracing for rejection, and start showing up with more authenticity and peace. Listen now and learn how to stop assuming you're being judged—and start being yourself.--------------------------------------   The pattern we’re talking about is imagining. It’s that inner feeling and the mental story that comes with it, usually subconscious, that creates anxiety in social, professional, or creative situations. You might not consciously think, “They’re going to hate me,” but your body, your nervous system, and your emotions respond as if it’s real. You feel discomfort, tension, and even dread because you’re imagining people being upset, disappointed, or disgusted with you. This pattern is incredibly common and is the root of chronic guilt, social anxiety, and discomfort around putting yourself out there. The critical thing to understand is that this anxiety is self-generated. Those images of people rejecting you, being disappointed, or hating you are largely hallucinations created by your own mind. Recognizing that you are generating this story is the first step toward liberation. Once you see it, you can start breaking the hold it has over you. There’s a part of you that Dr. Aziz calls the “safety police.” This part hates uncertainty and discomfort, so it predicts the worst-case scenario for everyone at all times. It’s trying to protect you from pain, like the rare instance of someone disliking you, by keeping you socially guarded all the time. The problem is that it overprotects. It creates the illusion that everyone might be judging or hating you, which makes life feel heavy, limiting, and anxious. You cannot control other people’s opinions, but you can cultivate internal certainty. You can know who you are, recognize your value, and be confident that you’ll be okay regardless of how others react. This is the form of certainty that frees you to take social risks without chronic anxiety. When you anchor in internal certainty, you stop needing to predict or control the reactions of everyone around you. Awareness is the key to freedom. You must catch this pattern in the moment. Notice when your mind is spinning the story that everyone dislikes you. Audit your life to see where this is happening—whether it’s emails, calls, meetings, or social interactions—and consciously step into action despite the discomfort. Ask yourself, “If I were fearless, what would I do?” Make a list of the actions that anxiety currently prevents you from taking. Then, start small. Send that email, make that call, speak up in the meeting. Remind yourself: “I bring value. I am okay either way.” This internal certainty shifts your nervous system and your experience entirely. As Dr. Aziz says, “You are making it up. Your nervous system is responding to a hallucination.” When you change this pattern, you create a whole different experience socially and in your inner confidence. The mindset you want to practice is simple but powerful: “I’ll be okay either way.” Step into action, notice the story your mind is telling, and anchor yourself in your value and resilience. That is where true confidence begins.

Welcome to today’s powerful episode of the show — where we expose one of the most common, invisible lies holding you back from confidence, boldness, and a fully alive life. What’s the lie? Just five words: “I can’t because I’m scared.” It sounds reasonable — even factual. But what if that story is not only false… it’s also the very thing keeping you stuck? Dr. Aziz dives deep into how this belief quietly controls your behavior, limits your growth, and keeps you from taking even small steps toward what you want — whether in social situations, your career, or your relationships. You’ll discover why fear and ability are not causally linked, and how separating discomfort from impossibility is the first step to reclaiming your freedom. This isn’t about pushing you into the deep end — it’s about compassionate, consistent progress. With the right tools, mindset, and willingness to be temporarily uncomfortable, you can create extraordinary transformation. 🔥 If you're ready to challenge your limits and step into more boldness, this episode is for you. Tune in now and take the brakes off your confidence.-------------------------------- How often do you find yourself saying “yes” when you really want to say “no”? Or perhaps you quietly suppress your own needs, thinking that if you just accommodate others, everything will be fine. If you've ever struggled with this, you're not alone. In this post, we'll explore why it's so difficult to ask for what you want in your relationships and how embracing your true needs can transform your life—socially, professionally, and personally. Why Do We Struggle with Asking for What We Want? We all have wants and needs, but somehow, the act of asking for them can feel overwhelming. Maybe you're afraid of being seen as "too needy," or you worry about pushing others away. This fear often stems from a deep-seated belief that we’re not enough as we are—that our desires aren't worth voicing or that others will reject us if we express them. Take it from my own experience. In my 20s, I struggled with boundaries in romantic relationships. While I could confidently approach women and start dating, once the relationship progressed, I found myself wanting to pull away. I couldn’t figure out why, until I realized that I had a hard time navigating the balance of wanting something and expressing that need openly. In fact, the issue wasn’t my ability to connect or the person I was dating—it was my inability to articulate what I wanted or needed, especially once I was in a more intimate dynamic. The "Nice Person" Trap: How Suppressing Your Needs Hurts You Many of us fall into the “nice person” trap, a pattern where we suppress our desires to keep the peace. This behavior often originates from the belief that we aren’t lovable or worthy of attention just as we are. We may think, If I don’t ask for anything, if I’m flexible and accommodating enough, then maybe they’ll like me and want to be around me. However, this doesn’t lead to healthy relationships. The more you deny your own needs, the more resentful and disconnected you may feel over time. If you're constantly accommodating others and never speaking up for what you truly want, you might end up feeling frustrated, misunderstood, or even disconnected from your own desires. A Simple Question That Will Change Your Relationships: “What Do I Want?” The key to shifting this dynamic is simple: start asking yourself, “What do I want?” This can seem like a small question, but it holds tremendous power. Whether you're deciding what to do with a friend, negotiating in the workplace, or navigating a romantic relationship, giving yourself permission to ask what you want is the first step toward creating healthier, more fulfilling connections. Let’s take a real-life example. My wife was planning a hike with a friend, but at the last minute, her friend couldn’t keep up due to a knee injury. They ended up hanging out instead. When we reflected on it later, my wife realized that while she valued the time with her friend, what she really wanted was to go on a hike. The key here was that my wife was able to reflect on her desires and communicate them clearly, leading to a healthier way of handling future situations. The Action Step: Practicing Healthy Self-Advocacy Now, it’s your turn. Here’s the action step I encourage you to take: Ask yourself what you want in every situation—whether it’s deciding how to spend your Saturday afternoon, navigating a work challenge, or addressing an issue with a partner. It’s not about being selfish or dismissing others; it’s about becoming aware of your own needs and learning how to express them in a healthy, productive way. When you start honoring your desires, your relationships will transform, as will your sense of self-worth. So, the next time you’re in a situation where you feel uncertain or overwhelmed, ask yourself: What do I want? By starting this simple practice, you’ll gradually develop the confidence to express your needs, build healthier connections, and embrace your worth. Embrace Your Worth, Live Authentically The journey to overcoming social anxiety and becoming more assertive in your relationships is not about perfection. It’s about being willing to show up as your authentic self and advocate for your needs with confidence. As you develop this practice, remember: you deserve to be seen, heard, and valued as much as anyone else. If you want to dive deeper into this topic, I invite you to check out my books and resources. Start taking those small steps today—ask yourself, “What do I want?”—and see how it transforms your relationships and your life. Until next time, may you have the courage to be who you are, and know deep down that you are awesome.

Today’s episode is all about you—what you want and need in your life and in your relationships. Whether it’s with a romantic partner, a friend, a coworker, or a family member, you are constantly navigating wants, needs, and boundaries. But how do you even know what you want—let alone ask for it without guilt, fear, or discomfort? That’s exactly what we’re going to explore together. If you've ever struggled with people-pleasing, over-accommodating, or avoiding conflict, this episode will be deeply liberating. Dr. Aziz shares personal stories—from relationship challenges to parenting decisions—to reveal how easy it is to lose ourselves in the name of being “nice.” He breaks down the roots of this pattern and teaches you how to reconnect with your desires, give yourself permission to express them, and advocate for what truly matters to you. You’ll also learn the MVP question that changes everything: What do I want? When you start asking this regularly, your confidence, clarity, and sense of freedom will grow. This episode is your invitation to step out of niceness and into a more powerful, authentic version of you.---------------------------------------------------------------------------   Have you ever found yourself bending over backwards in relationships, doing everything for others, and yet feeling like you're not getting what you need? Whether it's with a romantic partner, a friend, or even at work, the challenge of asking for what you want is something we all face. But here's the truth: without skillfully advocating for yourself, you’ll continue to miss out on the connection, respect, and fulfillment you deserve. In this blog post, we’re going to dive into how to understand what you truly want in relationships, why it’s often so hard to ask for it, and how to start changing that dynamic today. What Do You Really Want? In every relationship, there are things you want and things you need. This could be in a romantic relationship, with your family, or in your work life. We all have desires—things we want to feel seen, heard, and valued. But often, due to fear of being “too demanding” or not wanting to burden others, we suppress those needs. So, how do you know the difference between a need and a want? The key is understanding that your desires are just as valid as anyone else’s, and it's okay to ask for what you want. You don’t have to be the “nice person” who always sacrifices their own needs for the sake of others. Your feelings, wants, and needs matter too. The Dangerous "Nice Person" Trap Here’s a powerful insight that comes from my own experience: I used to be a nice guy. I wanted everyone to like me, avoid conflict, and always say "yes" to everyone. In fact, I spent a lot of time in my 20s in romantic relationships where I’d show up full of excitement, but the moment things got more serious, I felt suffocated. I couldn’t figure out why I was pushing people away—until I realized that my fear of setting boundaries was the real culprit. The issue wasn’t that I didn’t like the person I was dating—it was that I didn't know how to ask for what I wanted, or even recognize what I needed in a relationship. I couldn’t express my feelings and desires in a healthy, constructive way. And so, the anxiety about disappointing others, or being rejected, took over. How the "Nice Person" Trap Impacts You This might sound familiar. Maybe you constantly say "yes" when you really want to say "no." You accommodate others, avoid conflict, and overextend yourself, only to end up feeling drained, frustrated, and misunderstood. This behavior stems from the belief that you're "not enough" as you are, and so you strive to be what others want, even at the cost of your own well-being. But here's the truth: You have the right to want things. In fact, wanting and asking for things is the foundation of healthy, balanced relationships. When you deny yourself the ability to express your desires, it leads to resentment, burnout, and confusion. What’s The Solution? It starts with asking yourself a powerful question: What do I want? This simple but profound question will help you reconnect with your true desires. Whether it’s standing up for yourself at work, expressing your needs in a friendship, or asking for more in a romantic relationship, it’s about starting with self-awareness. Here’s a small example from my own life: not too long ago, my wife and I were in a situation where we had to decide how to handle our son’s bedtime routine. He was having trouble sleeping on his own, which meant she was constantly having to lie with him in his bed. Eventually, I had to ask myself, “What do I really want here?” I realized I wanted to spend more time with my wife and not be in a constant state of tension around this issue. So, I expressed my feelings, setting boundaries while also acknowledging her needs. The conversation was challenging but ultimately brought us closer together, and our relationship grew stronger because we were both able to share what we truly wanted. Final Thoughts: Start Asking for What You Want Here’s the liberating truth: It’s okay to want things. And it’s even more important to ask for them. If you’re ready to stop the cycle of people-pleasing and start showing up as your true, authentic self, it begins with claiming your wants and needs as valid and important. Remember, your desires are not burdensome; they are part of your humanity. The more you can ask for what you want, the more confident you’ll feel in your relationships, and the healthier those connections will be. So, start today by asking yourself: What do I want? Keep asking this question throughout the day in different situations. With practice, you’ll start to see how this small shift can create a massive transformation in your relationships. Until next time, have the courage to be who you are and know, on a deep level, that you’re awesome.