Her Best Self ~ Eating Disorder Recovery, Anorexia, Bulimia & Food Freedom

I'm about to tell you something that might sting: Nobody cares about your body. But stick with me, because that truth is going to set you free. We spend SO much energy terrified of what people will think if we gain weight, if we eat normally, if we stop restricting. We're scared of judgment. But here's the raw truth: People are way too busy worrying about their own bodies to spend time judging yours. Today I'm sharing 9 brutal recovery truths that no one will tell you—but I absolutely will. Because I'm tired of watching women stay stuck settling for "good enough," when full freedom is absolutely possible. These aren't feel-good platitudes. These are boss-babe-energy truths that will wake you up and change everything. The 9 Raw Truths: Your health is your wealth Nobody cares about your body 2b. You will be judged no matter what—at least be judged for something meaningful Consistency matters more than perfection Recovery takes months or years—not weeks or days Your comfort zone and "settling" will destroy your dreams of freedom No one is coming to save you You can't pray yourself away from ED behaviors—you must pray AND act Time never comes back You cannot recover from an eating disorder alone. THE 9 BRUTAL TRUTHS BREAKDOWN Truth #1: Your health is your wealth. You can fake your health to the world for a while, but malnourishment catches up with you. Your bones will tell the story. Your hormones will tell the story. You can lie to everyone else, but your body keeps the receipts. When you look back in 10-30 years, your health is what will matter most—not the number on the scale. Truth #2: Nobody cares about your body. Everyone is way too worried about their own insecurities to spend time analyzing yours. The person at the grocery store? Worried about their own body. Your coworker? Stressed about their own appearance. The people who matter don't care what size you are. And the people who care what size you are don't matter. Truth #2b: You will be judged no matter what—at least be judged for something meaningful versus your pant size. Would you rather be judged for playing small, for restricting your life, for being the woman always "on a diet"? Or judged for being bold, for showing up fully, for living a life that actually matters? People will have opinions regardless. Make sure you're living a life worth having opinions about. Truth #3: Consistency matters more than perfection. Boss babes understand this in business but forget it in recovery. You can take random action, but it's what you do consistently that leads to true freedom. Recovery isn't built on perfect days—it's built on showing up day after day, even when it sucks. Truth #4: Recovery takes months or years—not weeks or days. Trying to rush recovery is like trying to rush building a business empire. You can't shortcut the process and expect lasting results. The women who understand this is an investment in their future are the ones running companies and living their dreams while others are still counting calories. Truth #5: Your comfort zone and "settling" will destroy your dreams of freedom. Quasi-recovery isn't boss babe energy—it's small energy. It's staying in the kiddie pool when you were meant to swim in the ocean. Settling for quasi-recovery is like building a business to 50K and stopping because you're "comfortable." Your eating disorder is betting on you settling. Truth #6: No one is coming to save you. Your parents can't fix this. Your partner can't love the eating disorder away. Your therapist can't want recovery more than you do. This is your life. Your recovery. Your empire to build. That's overwhelming but also the most empowering truth—you have ALL the power to change everything. Truth #7: You can't pray yourself or "try" to get yourself away from ED behaviors. Faith is powerful. Prayer is essential. But you must pray AND act like the boss babe God created you to be. God gave you a brain, body, and free will for a reason. Use them. Trying is just failing with intention. Stop trying. Start doing. Truth #8: Time never comes back. Every day you spend restricting is gone forever. Every opportunity missed because you're obsessed with food. Every relationship you half-show up to because you're mentally calculating calories. Boss babes understand time is the most valuable currency. Stop spending yours on something that will never pay dividends. THE FINAL TRUTH TO SET YOU FREE: #9: You cannot build an empire alone, and recover from an eating disorder is the exact same. Eating disorders thrive in isolation. Every successful woman has a team, support, someone who won't let them quit when things get hard. The women who recover are the ones who stop trying to figure it all out alone and invest in themselves. KEY QUOTES 💛 "Nobody cares about your body. People are way too busy worrying about their own bodies to spend time judging yours." 💛 "You can fake your health to the world, but your body keeps the receipts." 💛 "The people who matter don't care what size you are. The people who care what size you are don't matter." 💛 "People will have opinions regardless. Make sure you're living a life worth having opinions about." 💛 "Quasi-recovery isn't boss babe energy—it's small energy." 💛 "You can't shortcut the process and expect lasting results." 💛 "No one is coming to save you. This is your empire to build." 💛 "Trying is just failing with intention. Stop trying. Start doing." 💛 "Time never comes back. Stop spending yours on something that will never pay dividends." READY TO STOP SETTLING? If you're tired of playing small, if you're done wasting time in quasi-recovery, if you want someone who won't let you quit on yourself—I'm here. I help women stop wasting years in quasi-recovery. I create personalized roadmaps to freedom and provide the accountability you need to stop settling and start truly living. The women who transform their lives are the ones who invest in themselves like the boss babes they are. They get support. They stop playing small. They claim their full power. 👉 www.herbestself.co Fill out my client application and say yes to your future self today! Nobody is coming to save you.  Your future self is waiting. What's it going to be? Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Do you spend way too much time checking yourself in the mirror? Fixating on flaws that nobody else seems to notice? Canceling plans because you feel like you look "off" that day? You're not alone, and this isn't about vanity—this is about a real struggle that deserves understanding. Today we're diving into Body Dysmorphic Disorder (BDD) and how it shows up in eating disorder recovery. The statistics are eye-opening: while only 1 in 50 people in the general population experience BDD, 25-40% of people with eating disorders also struggle with body dysmorphic disorder. In this episode, you'll discover: What Body Dysmorphic Disorder actually is (beyond occasional insecurity) The shocking connection between eating disorders and BDD Real client story: How BDD stole years of living from a successful VP 6 practical tools to break free from obsessive body thoughts Why "your body is an instrument, not an ornament" How to practice body neutrality when body positivity feels impossible The difference between healthy awareness and destructive obsession This goes beyond the mirror—it's about reclaiming the mental energy that's been stolen from you and learning to live present in your own life. THE EYE-OPENING STATISTICS 1 in 50 people in general population experience Body Dysmorphic Disorder 25-40% of people with eating disorders also struggle with BDD This means: If you're struggling with disordered eating, there's a much higher chance you're also dealing with body dysmorphic disorder. WHAT IS BODY DYSMORPHIC DISORDER? BDD is classified in the DSM-5 under Obsessive Compulsive and Related Disorders. It's when thoughts about your appearance become all-consuming—when they start stealing your joy and limiting your life. This isn't about vanity. This is about genuine struggle that deserves compassion and understanding. Common signs include: Spending hours checking your appearance in mirrors Constantly comparing yourself to others (especially on social media) Avoiding social settings because you're convinced everyone is staring Taking dozens of photos from different angles to "capture what you really look like" Canceling plans when you feel you look "off" Fixating on specific body parts (face, stomach, skin, weight) CLIENT STORY: ELLA'S BREAKTHROUGH Ella was a VP at her company—successful, married, two kids. From the outside, everything looked perfect. But inside, she was crumbling. Ella spent hours fixating on what she perceived as facial asymmetry and "hating her stomach." She would: Cancel plans if her appearance didn't feel right Take dozens of selfies from different angles Hibernate in loose clothing when her stomach wasn't "flat enough" Miss out on living because she was trapped in the obsession The truth: When I looked at Ella, I saw an amazingly beautiful and confident woman. The things she fixated on weren't visible to me or anyone else in her life. Six months later, Ella shared: "For the first time in years, I went to my daughter's birthday party and I didn't think about my appearance. I was just there. I was present. I laughed, and I played and I connected. This is what living feels like." 6 TOOLS TO BREAK FREE FROM BODY OBSESSION 1. Practice Awareness Notice when you're engaging in checking behaviors Observe with compassion: "I notice I'm having thoughts right now" Technique: Set a timer when getting ready—when it goes off, walk away from the mirror no matter what 2. Challenge the Distortion Question absolute thoughts: "Everyone notices this about me" or "I look disgusting" Exercise: Write how you'd respond if your best friend shared the same concerns Remember: "Our minds distort our mirrors" 3. Reduce Comparison (Eliminate If Possible) Studies show increased social media correlates with worse BDD symptoms Action: Go on a social media detox or unfollow triggering accounts Replace scrolling time with something that feeds your soul 4. Redirect Your Focus Create a list of activities that fully engage your mind Have this list ready BEFORE the thoughts hit Examples: Reading, puzzles, nature walks, calling a friend 5. Practice Body Neutrality Focus on what your body can DO rather than how it looks "Can your legs carry you through the day? Can your arms hug people you love?" Remember: Your body is an instrument, not an ornament 6. Seek Help and Support BDD responds well to treatments like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) Working with specialists in body image issues makes an enormous difference You don't have to heal from this alone THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR BODY Your body was never meant to be your life's work. It was meant to champion you in doing your life's purpose and your life's work. You only have one precious life. You deserve to: Be present and laugh without wondering how your face looks Eat cake without worrying about your stomach afterward Connect deeply without background noise of how others view you Live without the mental prison of appearance obsession KEY QUOTES 💛 "This isn't about vanity. This is about genuine struggle that deserves compassion and understanding." 💛 "Our minds distort our mirrors." 💛 "Your body is an instrument, not an ornament." 💛 "You don't have to love yourself right now—but you can practice neutrality." 💛 "Your body was never meant to be your life's work. It was meant to champion you in doing your life's purpose." 💛 "Small, consistent actions lead to the biggest transformations." READY TO BREAK FREE FROM THE MENTAL PRISON OF BODY OBSESSION? If you're tired of missing out on living because you're trapped in thoughts about your appearance—I'm here to help. 🌟 The Recovery Collective - Join our supportive group coaching community where you'll connect with other women on the same journey toward food and body freedom. Get weekly group calls, exclusive content, and a sisterhood that truly gets it. → www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  🌟 1:1 Personalized Coaching - Ready for personalized, one-on-one support? Let's work together in my signature coaching container where I'll be your guide, accountability partner, and biggest cheerleader as you heal your relationship with food and body. → www.herbestsel.co (fill out a client application) You don't have to spend another day trapped in the mirror. You don't have to miss another birthday party, dinner out, or moment of connection because you're obsessing over your appearance. Healing is possible. Freedom is waiting. And you're worth it. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Today sis, let's time travel! I want to take you into the grocery store with me during my recovery. On this particular trip (actually most every trip to the store), I would stand in the peanut butter aisle...yes, for 20 minutes—staring at jars, reading labels, comparing calories. And I was exhausted with my own mess. Peanut butter was a total fear food. I'd tell people "I didn't like it" when in fact, I grew up on PB&J sandwiches and adored the taste pre-ED. But during ED, I just didn't trust myself around it. This day however, I got so tired of my usual ED pattern that I assigned myself a task: walk in, choose a jar, take it home, and make something with it. That one decision changed everything. You are one decision away from a completely different life. And it starts with giving yourself permission. In today's podcast episode you'll discover: How one grocery store decision became my recovery breakthrough Why every decision is actually an act of permission The connection between indecision and staying stuck How to pre-decide your way to freedom What permissions you might be withholding from yourself Why peanut butter now reminds me of freedom The ripple effect one brave choice creates THE POWER OF ONE DECISION You are one decision away from a completely different life. Not ten decisions. Not a perfect plan. Not waiting until you feel ready. That day, I wasn't any less scared of peanut butter than before. But I decided I was the boss of me. I got to decide how I wanted to be defined. And I no longer wanted to be scared of peanut butter. Every decision is actually an act of permission. When I decided to buy that peanut butter, I gave myself permission to: Trust myself around a fear food Stop analyzing and start choosing Act differently than I had been acting Take up space in my own life WHY WE AVOID THE DECISION Standing in that aisle for 20 minutes wasn't really about comparing labels. It was about avoiding the decision entirely. As long as I was analyzing, I didn't have to choose. As long as I was researching, I didn't have to act. As long as I was stuck in indecision, I didn't have to face my fear. But indecision is actually a decision—it's the decision to stay exactly where you are. THE PRACTICE OF PRE-DECIDING What made that trip different: I pre-decided. Instead of hoping I'd feel brave, I decided ahead of time what I was going to do. Pre-deciding removes the option to get stuck in analysis paralysis. It removes the option to spend 20 minutes staring at labels. It removes the option to leave empty-handed. What could you pre-decide today? That you're going to eat lunch, no matter how anxious you feel That you're going to order what sounds good, not what has fewest calories That you're going to call a therapist or coach THE RIPPLE EFFECT That peanut butter decision was a turning point because it taught me: If I could decide and DO with peanut butter, I could do that with anything that scared me. One act of permission opened the door to others: Permission to eat other fear foods Permission to trust my body Permission to be imperfect in recovery Permission to choose freedom over control Permission creates momentum. One granted permission leads to another, and another. KEY QUOTES 💛 "You are one decision away from a completely different life." 💛 "I wasn't any less scared than the day before, but I decided I was the boss of me." 💛 "Every decision is actually an act of permission." 💛 "Indecision is actually a decision—it's the decision to stay exactly where you are." 💛 "The decision you're avoiding is usually the exact decision that will set you free." 💛 "Pre-deciding is an act of self-trust." 💛 "Don't wait to feel brave. Decide first, then act." 💛 "Granting yourself permission is not selfish—it's an act of love." 💛 "You don't need anyone else's permission to live your life. You just need your own." 💛 "Permission granted. Decision made. Life changed." YOUR ASSIGNMENT Identify one decision you've been avoiding. One permission you've been withholding from yourself. Then pre-decide. Decide right now, before you're face-to-face with the fear, what you're going to do. Don't wait to feel brave. Don't wait to feel ready. Decide first, then act. READY TO MAKE THE DECISIONS THAT WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE? If you're ready to have someone in your corner who's been exactly where you are: 👉 www.herbestself.co - Fill out a client application You are one decision away from a completely different life. One permission away from the freedom you're craving. 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE My group coaching community where women come together to heal, let go of perfectionism, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets you. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective 💛 Take the Recovery Spirit Animal Quiz - Get insight into practical steps for your recovery based on your answers: Free Recovery Tools & Support | Quizzes, Journals, & Community for Eating Disorder Healing — Her Best Self Co. | Eating Disorder Recovery Coach for Women 💛 Join Her Best Self Society - Our private Facebook community at www.herbestselfsociety.com  Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

How much mental and emotional energy do you spend thinking about your weight? And here's the follow-up question: Is it worth it? Is all that energy actually improving your life, making you happier, or making you worth more? Today I'm offering a completely different perspective: What if your perfect weight isn't a number at all, but rather a state of being? A way of moving through this world where food and your body just don't dominate your thoughts. If you get nothing else from this episode, write this down: Your perfect weight is perfect freedom. In this episode, you'll discover: Why there's no such thing as a perfect weight (and what to focus on instead) How to redefine "perfect weight" as perfect freedom Real-life examples of what perfect freedom looks like The science behind why fighting your natural weight range backfires Why restriction creates the food obsessions you're trying to escape How to use your mental energy for relationships, work, and dreams instead of weight monitoring Starting points for moving toward weight-inclusive health The truth: Your worth isn't tied to your size Your perfect weight is when you can: ✅ Enjoy dinner with friends without calculating calories ✅ Skip a workout because you're tired (without guilt) ✅ Be fully present on date night instead of scanning menus ✅ Go on vacation without needing a "detox" afterward ✅ Nourish your body with variety—free from restriction THE CORE MESSAGE Your perfect weight is perfect freedom. Instead of focusing on a perfect number, focus on finding perfect trust within yourself and your body. We've been conditioned to believe that constant vigilance around food and exercise is the only path to health. But what if that very vigilance itself is what's unhealthy? WHAT PERFECT FREEDOM LOOKS LIKE Your perfect weight is: Enjoying an evening out with friends without guilt as an uninvited guest Laughing over shared appetizers and ordering what sounds good Driving home thinking about conversations, not calories consumed Listening to your body and skipping workouts when tired Understanding that rest is just as important as movement Being fully present during date night—looking into your partner's eyes instead of secretly scanning menu calorie counts Coming home from vacation with memories of experiences, not regrets about what you ate THE SCIENCE BEHIND FREEDOM Our bodies are incredibly diverse. Research increasingly shows that health can exist at many different sizes. Each of us has a genetically influenced weight range where our body functions best—I call this the "freedom point" (others call it set point). Fighting against this natural range requires constant effort and often results in harmful weight cycling. The truth about BMI: It was never designed to be an individual health marker. It was created as a population-level statistical tool, and its creator explicitly warned against using it for individual health evaluation. Health is about: Sustainable habits Mental wellbeing Social connections Physical markers like blood pressure and cholesterol Many of which improve through healthy behaviors regardless of weight changes WHY RESTRICTION BACKFIRES Your body and brain are wired to resist famine. When you severely restrict food groups or calories, your body fights back. This is where obsessive food thoughts come from—not lack of willpower. This is biology. The surprise: Food obsessions actually diminish when you start eating enough for your body, including previously forbidden foods. The rebellious urge to binge fades when no foods are labeled as "bad" or "good." REDEFINING YOUR RELATIONSHIP How would you eat if you knew your weight would never change? What would you accomplish if you weren't constantly monitoring your appearance or planning your next diet? Your perfect weight means: Days not consumed by food or body thoughts Using mental energy for relationships, work, passions, dreams Vacation doesn't end with detox or start with restriction Enjoying local cuisines without anxiety Coming home with memories, not regrets STARTING POINTS FOR FREEDOM 1. Work with weight-inclusive practitioners Dietitians specializing in intuitive eating Therapists who understand body image Coaches trained to focus on here and now without scale measurements 2. Curate your media consumption Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad about your body Unfollow accounts promoting restrictive eating Do a social media detox if it's not helping you make pro-recovery choices 3. Practice real self-compassion The path isn't linear—there will be ups and downs Treat yourself with kindness rather than judgment This makes the journey manageable and rewarding 4. Ground yourself in truth Your worth isn't tied to your size You deserve respect, love, and dignity at any weight Your body is a vessel carrying you through this precious life It deserves appreciation for what it does, not criticism for how it looks THE ULTIMATE TRUTH Your perfect weight isn't a destination you achieve once and check off a to-do list. It's an ongoing relationship with your body that evolves over time. There will be days you feel completely at peace with your body and food. There will be days old thought patterns creep back in. That's totally normal. What matters is the overall direction: moving toward more freedom, more self-compassion, and being less preoccupied with controlling your body. KEY QUOTES 💛 "Your perfect weight is perfect freedom." 💛 "How much mental and emotional energy do you spend thinking about your weight? Is it worth it?" 💛 "What if your perfect weight isn't a number at all, but rather a state of being?" 💛 "The more vigilant you are around food and exercise, the more unhealthy that vigilance itself becomes." 💛 "Your food obsessions aren't from lack of willpower—this is biology." 💛 "How would you eat if you knew your weight would never change?" 💛 "Your body is just a vessel that carries you through this precious life and deserves appreciation for what it does, not constant criticism for how it looks." READY TO FIND YOUR PERFECT FREEDOM? If you're done trying to control every single thing around food and body, if you're ready to make a commitment to change this part of your life—I'm here. Stop listening to that nagging voice telling you that you're lazy, not good enough, or that you'll always be this way. 👉 www.herbestself.co - Fill out a client application to partner together in your healing journey 💛 Take the Recovery Spirit Animal Quiz - Get insight into practical steps for your recovery based on your answers: Free Recovery Tools & Support | Quizzes, Journals, & Community for Eating Disorder Healing — Her Best Self Co. | Eating Disorder Recovery Coach for Women 💛 Join Her Best Self Society - Our private Facebook community at www.herbestselfsociety.com  Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Hey girl, welcome back to the Her Best Self Podcast. This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week and Lindsey is getting real with you about the truth behind eating disorders — the statistics that will stop you in your tracks, the signs that are easy to miss, and the hope that recovery is absolutely possible for you. Whether you are personally in the thick of your own battle with food and your body, loving someone who is struggling, or simply wanting to understand eating disorders on a deeper level, this episode is for you. What You'll Learn in This Episode In this powerful episode, Lindsey pulls back the curtain on the most misunderstood mental illness and shares what the research actually says, who eating disorders really affect, and what you can do today to take the next step toward freedom. Lindsey covers the real mortality rate of eating disorders and why early intervention changes everything, the truth about who develops eating disorders and why the stereotype is dead wrong, the most common signs to watch for in yourself or someone you love, how to approach a loved one who is struggling without pushing them further away, and why recovery is not only possible but waiting for you on the other side. Key Stats From This Episode Eating disorders have the second highest mortality rate of any mental illness, surpassed only by opioid addiction. Someone dies every 52 minutes as a direct result of an eating disorder. About 30 million Americans will struggle with an eating disorder in their lifetime. Less than 6% of people with eating disorders are classified as underweight. Only about one third of people with eating disorders will ever receive treatment. Lindsey's Personal Message to You If your eating disorder is telling you that you need it to survive, that you're not sick enough for help, or that you'll never recover — those are lies. Every single one of them. Lindsey has been where you are and she is living proof that freedom is real, that it is possible, and that life on the other side is better than you can imagine. Ready to Take the Next Step? Join the Her Best Self Society — Free Private Facebook Community You were never meant to do this alone. The Her Best Self Society is Lindsey's free private Facebook community where women just like you are finding support, encouragement, and a safe place to heal together. No judgment. No pressure. Just real women walking the road to recovery side by side. Come hang out with us at www.hersbestselfsociety.com.  Work With Lindsey 1:1 If you are ready to stop white-knuckling recovery on your own and finally get the personalized support, tools, and coaching you deserve, Lindsey would love to walk alongside you. Her 1:1 coaching is designed specifically for women who are ready to break free from disordered eating and reclaim their life, their joy, and their identity beyond the eating disorder. To learn more about working with Lindsey directly, visit www.herbestself.co or send her a DM on Instagram at @thelindseynichol. Come to our every other week support group! You can find more details at www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective. Resources Mentioned National Eating Disorder Association — www.nationaleatingdisorders.org  Alliance for Eating Disorder Awareness — www.allianceforeatingdisorders.com  Her Best Self Society Private Facebook Community — www.hersbestselfsociety.com  Loved This Episode? If this episode spoke to your heart, please take 30 seconds to leave a rating and review on Apple Podcasts. Your review helps more women find this show and find their way to freedom. And share this episode with a friend or someone you love who needs to hear it today. The more we talk openly about eating disorders, the more we break the stigma keeping so many women suffering in silence. ______________________ Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

When people hear "eating disorder," they picture a young stick-figure girl in ballet class. But what I see every day? CEOs with anorexia. Lawyers binge eating in office bathrooms. Doctors struggling in silence with exercise compulsion. Corporate executives who haven't eaten lunch in six months because they're "too busy." 73% of women in corporate and professional environments report engaging in at least one disordered eating behavior. And if you're a high-performing woman who feels trapped but can't connect the dots—this episode is for you. Because your workplace might be feeding your eating disorder. And it's time we talked about it. You'll discover: The chilling parallels between corporate culture and eating disorder logic How "dedication" and "discipline" can actually be disordered eating in disguise Why corporate wellness programs trigger eating disorders instead of preventing them The toxic beliefs high-performer culture promotes that fuel disordered eating Signs everyone misses in successful women who are struggling How to audit your workplace culture for ED-triggering behaviors Why your traits might be symptoms—not personality flaws How to redefine success to include your wellbeing The truth: You can be successful AND recovered. Recovery doesn't mean giving up your ambition—it means reclaiming it. THE CHILLING PARALLELS Corporate Culture Says: "I have to earn my lunch—I haven't been productive enough yet" "I can't take a break—everyone's counting on me" "If I rest, I'm falling behind" Eating Disorder Logic Says: "I have to earn my food—I haven't burned enough calories yet" "I can't eat—I have to stay in control" "If I eat, I'm losing control" It's the same framework: Your worth is conditional. Your value is based on performance. And this mindset gets you promoted—while secretly destroying your relationship with food and your body. TOXIC BELIEFS THAT FEED BOTH "Results over rest" - Your body becomes just a vehicle for performance "Discipline equals success" - Until discipline becomes rigid food rules "Mind over matter" - Glorifying disconnection from your body's signals "Optimize everything" - Your body becomes a project to control and perfect "Hustle culture" - Normalizing deprivation of food, rest, and pleasure For someone who's perfectionistic and already anxious, these messages are gasoline on a fire. SIGNS EVERYONE MISSES ✅ First one in, last one out—always "on," can't rest ✅ Skipping meals because you're "too busy" (praised as dedication) ✅ Rigid food rules disguised as "wellness" ("I don't eat carbs," "only clean foods") ✅ Over-exercising every day, even when sick or injured ✅ Talking about your body transactionally ("I earned this meal," "I have to burn this off") ✅ Avoiding work social events that involve food ✅ Exhausted but won't slow down Most of these behaviors are celebrated in high-performer culture—so you don't realize you need help. YOUR WORKPLACE CULTURE AUDIT Ask yourself: Am I praised for skipping meals or working through lunch? Does my company tie wellness to competition or performance metrics? Do I feel pressure to track, optimize, or perform my health? Are boundaries seen as weakness in my workplace? Do I feel like I have to "earn" rest, food, or self-care? Then ask: Am I using work stress as an excuse to control my food? Do I restrict when work gets overwhelming? Do I "earn" meals based on productivity? Am I exercising compulsively to manage work anxiety? If you answered yes to any of these—you're not alone. And you're not crazy. THE TRUTH ABOUT YOUR "TRAITS" Those traits you think define you? They might not be who you ARE. They might be symptoms. Symptoms of working in an environment that rewards disordered behaviors. Symptoms of impossible standards that tell you your worth is tied to your output. You are not broken. You're responding exactly how anyone would respond to these systems. REDEFINING SUCCESS True high performance: ✅ Rest is part of the strategy - not a sign of weakness ✅ Nourishment is non-negotiable - your brain needs fuel to perform ✅ Boundaries are a strength - saying no, delegating, protecting your energy ✅ Worth isn't tied to output - you're valuable because you exist ✅ Success includes wellbeing - how you feel matters as much as results Recovery doesn't take away your drive. It redirects it. You stop using discipline to destroy yourself and start using it to build the life you actually want. KEY QUOTES 💛 "73% of women in corporate environments report engaging in at least one disordered eating behavior." 💛 "The same traits that make you exceptional at your job—perfectionism, discipline, control—those are the EXACT traits that eating disorders exploit." 💛 "When wellness is tied to productivity, competition, or external validation, it's not wellness anymore. It's just another way to perform." 💛 "Those traits you think define you? They might not be who you ARE. They might be symptoms." 💛 "Recovery doesn't mean giving up your ambition. It means reclaiming it." 💛 "You can be successful AND recovered. Your brain works better when nourished. Your work improves when you're not obsessing over food 24/7." READY TO BREAK FREE FROM THE PATTERNS KEEPING YOU STUCK? If you're tired of feeling trapped, if you want to redefine what success looks like for YOU—I'm here. 👉 www.herbestself.co - Fill out a client application Asking for help isn't weakness. It's wisdom. It's courage. It's leadership. You deserve to perform at your best—not your most depleted. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

If you're ready for recovery but freeze when it comes time to actually invest in yourself and commit to the work—this episode is for you. The real reason you're not taking action isn't because you don't want freedom. It's not because you can't afford it. It's not because you don't believe recovery is possible. It's because you don't trust yourself to actually do it. You don't trust yourself to follow through, to succeed, to recover. And after years of the eating disorder systematically destroying your self-trust, plus being burned by therapy or treatment programs that didn't work—of course you don't trust yourself. But that lack of trust? It's not your fault. And it's not permanent. In this episode, I break down why high-performing women especially struggle with self-trust in recovery, how past "failed" attempts were actually preparing you for the right approach, and how to rebuild that trust through partnership rather than trying to do it alone. You'll discover: Why the eating disorder has systematically destroyed your self-trust How being a high performer makes recovery feel impossible when your usual strategies don't work Why therapy/treatment programs may have failed before (and why this time IS different) The difference between coaching and transformation through partnership How to build self-trust through small, kept promises Why you don't need perfect self-trust to start—just willingness How to overcome the "I need to talk to my husband" and investment objections Why waiting for the "perfect time" keeps you stuck while the ED steals your life The truth: You ARE trustworthy. You ARE capable. You ARE ready. Even if you don't feel like it yet. WHY YOU DON'T TRUST YOURSELF The eating disorder has spent YEARS: Convincing you to break promises to yourself Making you set goals you couldn't keep Forcing you to start recovery attempts you couldn't finish Sabotaging commitments your disorder wouldn't let you honor Plus, you've been burned before: Therapy that was lovely but left you feeling stuck Treatment programs with skills you couldn't maintain in real life "Recovery" approaches that felt like diet culture in disguise Systems and people who didn't truly GET where you are And as a high performer: You're used to succeeding at everything you put your mind to When recovery feels like the one thing you can't figure out, it shakes your entire identity Your usual strategies (perfectionism, control, pushing through) actually keep you stuck in EDs Recovery requires surrender, trust, and support—the opposite of what got you success elsewhere The truth: The problem wasn't YOU. The problem was you hadn't found the RIGHT approach yet. WHY THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT This isn't therapy. This isn't treatment. This isn't coaching. This is transformation through partnership. When we work together: ✅ I've been exactly where you are—I know what it feels like to not trust yourself ✅ I'm not coaching you from a textbook—I'm partnering with you from experience ✅ I hold hope for you when you can't hold it for yourself ✅ I see your strength when all you can see is struggle ✅ I trust you to recover until you can trust yourself ✅ You don't have to rebuild trust alone—we build it together The difference: I know the voice of freedom, and I know how to help you hear it again. REBUILDING SELF-TRUST What self-trust really means: Self-trust isn't about never failing or being perfect. Self-trust is showing up for yourself even when it's hard, imperfect, and uncertain. How we build it together: Start with micro-commitments ("I trust myself to eat breakfast tomorrow") Acknowledge every kept promise ("I said I'd eat breakfast and I did—I'm trustworthy") Focus on promises that actually matter (the ones that move you toward freedom, not more rules) Partner through the process (you're not doing it alone) The secret: You don't have to trust yourself to recover perfectly. You just have to trust yourself to start. THE FEAR BEHIND THE FEAR You're not just afraid of failing again—you're afraid of succeeding. Because the eating disorder has been your: Identity Coping mechanism Source of control Way to feel special, disciplined, "together" Excuse for not fully living Recovery means facing: "Who am I without this?" The truth: Who you are without the eating disorder is who you were ALWAYS meant to be. The ED buried the best parts of you—it didn't create them. KEY QUOTES 💛 "That lack of trust? It's not your fault. And it's not permanent." 💛 "The eating disorder has spent YEARS systematically destroying your self-trust. Of course you don't trust yourself." 💛 "The problem wasn't YOU. The problem was you hadn't found the RIGHT approach yet." 💛 "This isn't coaching. This is transformation through partnership." 💛 "I will trust you to recover until you can trust yourself." 💛 "Self-trust is showing up for yourself even when it's hard, imperfect, and uncertain." 💛 "You don't have to trust yourself to recover perfectly. You just have to trust yourself to start." 💛 "Who you are without the eating disorder is who you were ALWAYS meant to be." 💛 "The women who recover aren't the ones who never stumble. They're the ones who keep showing up." 💛 "Recovery doesn't require perfect self-trust. It requires perfect willingness to try. With support." 💛 "How many more months are you going to spend 'thinking about it' while the eating disorder continues to steal your life?" 💛 "You ARE trustworthy. You ARE capable. You ARE ready. Even if you don't feel like it yet." THE WAKE-UP CALL What's riskier? Trusting yourself to try recovery with someone who's been exactly where you are? Or staying where you are, letting the ED continue stealing your time, energy, relationships, and LIFE? The eating disorder has NEVER kept its promises to you. It promised control and gave chaos. It promised perfection and gave obsession. It promised happiness and stole your joy. You've been trusting the WRONG voice for too long. READY TO BUILD TRUST THROUGH PARTNERSHIP? If you're tired of trying to figure this out alone... If you're ready for support that actually understands where you are... If you want someone who's been exactly where you are and knows the way forward... 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application What I promise: I will trust you to recover until you can trust yourself. I'll hold that belief when you can't. I'll see your strength when all you see is struggle. This is partnership that creates actual transformation—not just another attempt. Trust yourself enough to take the next step. You don't have to take it alone. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

If your goal is to "recover from your eating disorder," what happens when you get there? Then what? Here's the problem: When you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. But recovery isn't a destination. It's a journey of BECOMING. In this episode, I'm challenging you to shift your focus from what you want to change to who you need to become to achieve freedom. And it starts with understanding your NOW needs. Using Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs, I break down why you can't move forward in recovery if your basic needs aren't even being met—and what to do about it RIGHT NOW. In this episode, you'll discover: Why setting a goal to "recover" sabotages your success What recovery will make OF you (not just what it will give you) The problem: You're reinforcing a belief that you can't find freedom Maslow's Hierarchy explained: Basic needs → Psychological needs → Self-fulfillment Why you can't function without basic needs met (food, water, sleep, safety, stability) How the eating disorder hijacks your brain and keeps you from meeting essential needs Why low self-esteem and broken relationships stem from unmet BASIC needs The shift: Stop focusing on what you want to change, start focusing on who you want to BECOME One challenge: Do one thing every day you don't want to do How to validate your feelings, own your needs, and grant yourself permission The truth: No one is going to recover FOR you—you have to do something about it The wake-up call: You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you. MASLOW'S HIERARCHY OF NEEDS & ED RECOVERY The 5-Tier Model: 1. BASIC/SURVIVAL NEEDS (Foundation) Food, water, air, sleep, shelter, clothing, safety, stability, predictability The problem: When your brain has been hijacked by an eating disorder, you're not even getting these basic needs met. Without nourishment, you literally can't function. 2. PSYCHOLOGICAL NEEDS (Built on Basic Needs) Social connections, relationships, self-esteem, confidence, intimate connection, friendships, accomplishments, independence, self-respect The truth: If your basic needs aren't met, your psychological needs WON'T be met. This is why you have low self-esteem. This is why relationships feel broken. 3. SELF-FULFILLMENT NEEDS (Top of Pyramid) Problem-solving, growth, exploration, creativity, purpose, meaning The reality: You can't get here if you're not nourishing your body. Without basic needs met, self-fulfillment is impossible. THE SHIFT: FROM RECOVERING TO BECOMING Stop asking: "How do I recover from this eating disorder?" Start asking: Who do I need to BECOME to gain freedom? What does freedom look like to me? What are my NOW needs? What can I do TODAY to honor where I want to go TOMORROW? The truth: Your past and current distorted identity has created your current reality. It sabotages your success. This false identity creates negative habits that lead to negative outcomes—and reinforces the cycle. The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you CAN'T. YOUR NOW NEEDS: THE CHALLENGE This week, do ONE thing every day that you don't want to do. Then ask yourself: How am I currently meeting my needs today? What needs do I need met RIGHT NOW? Are my BASIC needs even being met? Remember: Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into love, belonging, self-esteem, or purpose. THE 4 STEPS TO HONOR YOUR NOW NEEDS STEP 1: VALIDATE YOUR FEELINGS & OWN YOUR NEEDS Admit and identify a NOW need: Do I need to eat breakfast earlier? Do I need two more hours of sleep? Do I need to feel safe and protected? How will I create that? Set the goal of WHO you're becoming in the process. STEP 2: GRANT YOURSELF PERMISSION & SET PRIORITIES Give yourself permission to put yourself FIRST. Permission + Priorities = Power We give grace and compassion to everyone else, but struggle to do the same for ourselves. Today, WEAR permission. Rock it out. STEP 3: REFLECT, PRAY, JOURNAL, THINK Don't overthink. Just think. Ask yourself: What are my NOW needs? What do I need to feel satisfied, purposeful, joyful, happy? What do I have to do RIGHT NOW from a basic need standpoint to step into what I ultimately want for my life? STEP 4: DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT No one is going to recover FOR you. No one is going to: Gain the weight for you Sit in your head for you Be at the finish line for you You have to do something different. Because the truth is: You can listen to this show on repeat, but if you don't DO something about it, you're going to sit here stuck. THE TRUTH ABOUT RECOVERY When I actually recovered from my eating disorder, I didn't recognize my old self. I didn't even know who she was. I was fully transformed. Recovery isn't about checking a box. You still wake up. You still look at yourself in the mirror. You're still learning, growing, doing, BECOMING. Change your focus: From what you're trying to achieve → To WHO you need to be to achieve it. KEY QUOTES 💛 "If you set the goal to recover, you're setting a goal with a finish line. I want you to set the goal of what recovery will make OF you." 💛 "This journey is about BECOMING. And becoming requires DOING." 💛 "The problem isn't that you can't do it. The problem is you're consistently staying in the cycle that reinforces the belief that you can't." 💛 "Without nourishment, you can't even begin to move into the next level of needs like love and belonging." 💛 "You decide where your time goes. And if you don't decide, the world will decide for you." 💛 "No one was going to recover for me. No one was going to be at the finish line. No one was going to gain the weight for me. No one was going to sit in my own head but me." 💛 "If you really want to do something, you'll find a way. If not, you'll just find another excuse." - Jim Rohn 💛 "Stop focusing on what you want to change. Start focusing on who you want to BECOME." 💛 "Your purpose on this planet is not to be worried about your body. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently." THE ONE QUESTION TO ASK YOURSELF "What am I doing right now TODAY that my future self is going to love me for?" If you want to be recovered, you have to DO something to get there. WHAT ARE YOUR NOW NEEDS? Identify ONE need right now: Accountability? Community? A really good meal? Permission to rest? Setting boundaries? Surrendering? What is the ONE thing you need right now in your heart, in your life? Then DO something about it. READY TO MEET YOUR NOW NEEDS WITH SUPPORT? 💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY Join our private Facebook community for support, accountability, and connection. 👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com  💛 1:1 RECOVERY COACHING If your NOW need is support and accountability to finally move forward—let's partner together. 👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application Your purpose on this planet is NOT to be worried about your body, the scale, or the label. Your purpose is to show up authentically YOU. But in order to become her, you must start doing something differently. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

February is Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And if you're stuck in quasi-recovery, telling yourself "I'm fine," avoiding help because you're ashamed—this is your wake-up call. I'm sharing 2026 statistics you haven't heard, alarming trends getting WORSE, and the truth about Ozempic, social media, and eating disorders. Because sis, you are not a statistic. At least not a negative one. But you need to hear this. What you'll learn: Why eating disorders increased 15% since 2020 (28.8 million Americans affected) The shocking truth: Every 52 minutes someone dies, only 10% get treatment Midlife crisis: 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65 Ozempic danger: 300% prescription increase, 40% of users have ED histories, 45% relapse when stopping Social media impact: 3+ hours/day = 60% higher ED risk Post-pandemic fallout: 25-30% global increase still climbing My story: When I refused to be a negative statistic 3-question self-assessment to know if you need help NOW The wake-up call: Every day you wait, you're missing out on life. KEY STATISTICS 📊 28.8 million Americans will have an ED in their lifetime (15% increase since 2020) 📊 Every 52 minutes someone dies from an eating disorder 📊 Only 10% receive treatment (women 40+ wait 6-8 years longer) 📊 42% increase in midlife ED hospitalizations (women 45-65) 📊 60% higher ED risk with 3+ hours daily social media use 📊 300% increase in Ozempic/GLP-1 prescriptions (60-70% for weight loss, not diabetes) 📊 40% increase in ED patients requesting weight loss drugs 📊 45% relapse rate when stopping GLP-1s (rapid weight regain triggers ED) 📊 25-30% global increase in EDs since 2020 (still climbing) THE 5 ALARMING TRENDS 1. MIDLIFE EATING DISORDERS EXPLODING 42% increase in hospitalizations for women 45-65. If you're over 40 thinking "I'm too old for this"—you're wrong. 2. SOCIAL MEDIA FEEDING THE CRISIS 3+ hours/day = 60% higher risk. #Ozempic has 1.3 billion views. You're being fed anti-aging, menopause weight loss, restriction disguised as wellness. 3. OZEMPIC NORMALIZING DISORDERED EATING 12 million Americans using GLP-1s. 30% of ED treatment centers treating patients whose ED was triggered by these drugs. These suppress appetite, reinforce that hunger is the enemy, bypass actual healing. Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or medicalizing my eating disorder? 4. DIET CULTURE AS "WELLNESS" Orthorexia rising. Gluten-free, intermittent fasting, cleanses—these are eating disorders in disguise. If you have rigid food rules and anxiety around "unclean" foods, that's disordered eating. 5. POST-PANDEMIC CRISIS CONTINUES Six years later, anxiety up, depression up, eating disorders up. If your ED got worse during the pandemic and you've been saying "later"—later is NOW. LINDSEY'S STORY Years ago, someone told me most people with eating disorders don't fully recover. That I'd probably struggle forever. That the odds were against me. Something inside me snapped. I got angry—not at them, but at the eating disorder. So I decided: I'm not going to be that statistic. I refuse. I stopped avoiding, denying, pretending. I got help. I did the work. I recovered. I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic. And you can be too. 3-QUESTION SELF-ASSESSMENT Answer honestly: Am I engaging in unhealthy behaviors but telling myself they're "not that bad"? (Skipping meals, restricting, overexercising, weighing obsessively, purging, binging, using appetite suppressants) Am I avoiding help because I'm ashamed, scared, or in denial? ("I'll deal with it later," "I can handle it alone," "It's not serious enough") Is my relationship with food/body stealing my joy, energy, presence, LIFE? (Missing moments, obsessing, sacrificing relationships, constant anxiety) If you said YES to even ONE: You need support! THE ONE THING YOU CAN DO TODAY Share this episode with someone who needs it Do the self-assessment - be honest If you need help—REACH OUT Don't wait 6-8 more years. Don't become another statistic. Don't waste the second half of your life. You deserve recovery. You deserve freedom. You deserve to LIVE. WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, access to me. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep work to reclaim your life. Limited spots available. www.herbestself.co    KEY QUOTES 💛 "You are not a statistic. At least not a negative one." 💛 "Every 52 minutes, someone loses their life to this illness." 💛 "If you're waiting for it to get bad enough, you're already in danger." 💛 "Ask yourself: Am I healing my relationship with my body? Or am I just medicalizing my eating disorder?" 💛 "I'm NOT a negative statistic. I'm a RECOVERY statistic. And you can be too." 💛 "Every day you wait, you're missing the second half of your life." Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worthy of support and love.  Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap to help you define what steps you can take to recommit to recovery. Today's episode is different. I'm not speaking in theoretical terms or giving advice I wouldn't follow myself. I'm sharing exactly what I would do if I was trapped in an eating disorder right now. The actual steps. The concrete path forward. The golden nugget roadmap I would follow myself. Whether you're experiencing a relapse, stuck in your recovery, or wish you could go back and tell your younger self what to do—this episode is your clear, actionable guide. In this episode, you'll discover: The 6-step roadmap I'd follow if I was trapped in an eating disorder today Why relapse is normal and doesn't mean you've failed Step 1: Recognition and acceptance—how to get out of denial faster Step 2: Immediate outreach—breaking the isolation that keeps you stuck Step 3: Implementing structure—what to do RIGHT NOW to support yourself Step 4: Investigating triggers—what's really driving this beneath the surface Step 5: Developing a crisis response plan—how to create lasting recovery Step 6: Reconnecting with your WHY—the values your ED is violating What I wish I could tell my younger self 15+ years ago Why recovery isn't about perfection—it's about progress How to recommit to your best self starting TODAY If you're in the trenches, if you've relapsed, if you're struggling—this roadmap is for you. Not theory. Just honest, practical steps. THE 6-STEP RECOVERY ROADMAP STEP 1: RECOGNITION AND ACCEPTANCE The hardest step: Admitting where you are is no longer where you want to be. If I was relapsing today, I know I'd experience a strong pull toward denial. I might tell myself: "I'm just being more careful about what I eat" "I'm having a few bad days" "I can handle this on my own" What I'd do instead: ✅ Name what's happening - Get out of denial faster ✅ Ask myself: Am I skipping meals? Preoccupied with food thoughts? Anxious around mealtimes? Weighing myself? ✅ Practice self-compassion - Not excusing the behavior, but acknowledging eating disorders are complex illnesses, not personal failures ✅ Say to myself: "This is really hard. I don't have to do this alone." This step creates the foundation to move forward in ACTION instead of sitting in denial. STEP 2: IMMEDIATE OUTREACH Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION. What I'd do: ✅ Contact someone I trust - In my case, my mom. I'd say: "I'm struggling with my thoughts and behaviors. I need support." ✅ Get professional help immediately If I had a treatment team: Contact them and say "I'm experiencing relapse. I need an appointment ASAP." If I didn't: Call primary care doctor, get a referral, look into local ED treatment centers ✅ Get accountability - Schedule meals, keep appointments with myself, check in with someone Key truth: Don't wait until things get "bad enough." Early intervention makes a tremendous difference. Breaking isolation doesn't mean everyone needs to know. It means strategically connecting with people who can provide support. STEP 3: IMPLEMENTING STRUCTURE What I'd put in place immediately: ✅ Regular eating patterns - Have a plan ready, no reinventing the wheel during vulnerable times. Use the same meals daily to reduce decision fatigue. ✅ Clean up social media & entertainment Unfollow accounts that trigger comparison or food obsession Avoid shows glorifying thinness or dieting Curate recovery-supportive content Join communities like Her Best Self Society (HerBestSelfSociety.com) ✅ Set clear boundaries with exercise - Temporarily pause formalized exercise, focus on gentle movement (This requires support—I couldn't do this alone) ✅ Document thoughts & feelings - Not to be perfect, but to increase awareness of patterns and triggers. Rebuild trust with body and mind. Structure = support. Not rigidity, but safety. STEP 4: INVESTIGATING TRIGGERS Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface? Questions I'd ask myself: ❓ What changes in my life have happened recently? (Transition, loss, increased responsibility, relationship change) ❓ What emotions am I struggling to manage? ❓ What am I trying to numb, distract from, or control? ❓ What needs aren't being met right now? ❓ What external pressures am I responding to? ❓ What beliefs am I believing about my worth, body, or identity? The truth: Eating disorders flare during periods of change and loss of control. Understanding triggers helps you heal beyond just the behaviors—you learn to process emotions in healthier ways. STEP 5: DEVELOPING A CRISIS RESPONSE PLAN Lasting recovery requires more than just putting out fires. What I'd create: ✅ Coping strategies - Tools to use when urges arise ✅ Relapse prevention plan - Document early warning signs, high-risk situations, actions to take ✅ Support system - Who to call, when, and why The sustainable plan is about building a life where: The eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful Recovery feels like moving TOWARD something meaningful Not just running away from illness Work with someone to determine exactly what support you need and put that planning in place. STEP 6: RECONNECTING WITH YOUR WHY The most important step: Remember what the eating disorder is stealing from you. What I'd do: ✅ Identify the values my ED violates The ED promises control, safety, worth. But it actually undermines: freedom, joy, creativity, authenticity, relationships, purpose. ✅ Compile a list: What has this ED taken from me? Holidays ruined Relationships lost Moments with loved ones missed Energy wasted Dreams on hold Future opportunities destroyed ✅ Ask: What present moments is it stealing RIGHT NOW? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this? ✅ Dream beyond the disorder - What do I want my life to look like? Who is my BEST self? If I could go back 15+ years and tell my younger self: "You're gonna go through this godawful period, but on the other side is MAGICAL. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE. Start dreaming NOW of the vision beyond this disorder." KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "The opposite of quitting is recommitting. And sometimes that means you need a spelled-out roadmap." 💛 "If you're experiencing a relapse, this is very normal. It doesn't mean you failed. It simply means you're human." 💛 "Eating disorders thrive in isolation. My counter-attack would be CONNECTION." 💛 "Don't wait until things get 'bad enough.' Early intervention makes a tremendous difference." 💛 "Eating disorders aren't just about food or weight. What's really happening beneath the surface?" 💛 "The sustainable plan is about building a life where the eating disorder becomes less necessary and less powerful." 💛 "What has this eating disorder taken from me? What present moments is it stealing? What future opportunities will be destroyed if I don't fix this?" 💛 "Recovery isn't about doing everything perfectly. It's about progress, not perfection. Every compassionate moment with yourself is a victory." 💛 "Recovery isn't a destination you reach once and for all. These are skills you're learning." 💛 "You haven't failed. You've simply encountered another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit to the path toward freedom." 💛 "Whether this is your first day in recovery or your thousandth, whether you're thriving or struggling, you're worthy of support, compassion, and a life free from these constraints." 💛 "Recovery isn't just possible—with the right support and recommitment, it's inevitable." THE TRUTH ABOUT RELAPSE Relapse is NORMAL. It's part of recovery. ✅ It doesn't mean you've failed ✅ It means you're human ✅ It's another opportunity to practice compassion and recommit ✅ Reaching out for support is courage, not weakness If you're in a relapse right now, you're not alone. WHAT I WISH I COULD TELL MY YOUNGER SELF If I could go back 15+ years: "Friend, you're gonna have to go through this godawful period of your life, but on the other side is going to be MAGICAL. It's going to be so good. You'll experience things you never would've allowed—wonderful relationships, contributions to the world, PURPOSE." "Start dreaming RIGHT NOW of the vision you want beyond the eating disorder." "Ask yourself: What has this disorder taken from me? What is it stealing from my present? What future will be destroyed if I don't fix this?" READY TO TAKE ACTION? WORK WITH LINDSEY If you're struggling with disordered eating or an eating disorder that's been around for decades, and you're tired and fed up—I want to help you. I feel called to help as many women as possible get to the other side and recover from this devastating illness. Here's your personal invitation: Let's take this up a notch. 💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING This is where my gift shines. I'm able to get you RESULTS. We work together on tiny wins that lead to massive overcoming and triumph. I'm opening the doors to take on a few additional clients. If you've been on the fence about working with a recovery coach—now's the time. Don't wait. Commit to your future self. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application We'll get on the phone together and talk about what you need to navigate next steps in your recovery journey. 💛 HER BEST SELF SOCIETY Join our private Facebook community where you'll be with like-minded individuals focused on recovery, not thinness. 👉 www.herbestselfsociety.com  EATING DISORDER AWARENESS MONTH CHALLENGE If you're in a relap

I just turned 40 last month. And I don't know what shifts inside at midlife, but something changes when you hit this milestone. You start asking different questions: "Is this it?" "Is this who I really am?" "Is this all there is for me?" And if you've been battling an eating disorder for decades—maybe 10 years, maybe 20, maybe 30—you're asking an even harder question: "Who am I without this?" It's Eating Disorder Awareness Month. And this year, I want to talk about something we don't talk about enough—eating disorders in midlife. Did you know that eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade? And yet, we still act like eating disorders are just a "young woman's problem." But if you're a woman in your late 30s, 40s, 50s, or beyond, and you're still struggling, I see you. This is NOT just a young woman's issue. And this episode? This one's for you. Because here's the truth: Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too. And when those two collide, it can feel overwhelming. But what if this collision isn't a crisis at all? What if it's a crossroads? What if midlife is the PERFECT time to finally break free? IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL DISCOVER: Why midlife identity crisis and ED identity crisis are shockingly similar The statistics: 42% increase in ED hospitalizations for women 45-65, 13% of women over 50 engage in disordered eating Why more women are reaching out for support in midlife (and why that's powerful) The 5 reasons why NOW is the perfect season to go all in on recovery Why menopause/perimenopause can actually SUPPORT your recovery, not hinder it How to answer "I've had this for 30 years—how can I possibly recover now?" Real client stories: Women who recovered at 47, 52, and 61 What life AFTER ED in midlife actually looks like The reframe: This isn't a crisis, it's a crossroads Why the second half of your life is waiting for you to reclaim it KEY QUOTES 💛 "Midlife is an identity crisis. And breaking up with your eating disorder? That's an identity crisis too." 💛 "In midlife you ask: 'Who am I now that my kids don't need me?' In ED recovery you ask: 'Who am I without my eating disorder?' And the hardest question: 'I don't recognize myself anymore. So who AM I?'" 💛 "Eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 have increased by 42% in the last decade. This is NOT just a young woman's issue." 💛 "You don't want to waste the second half of your life still trapped in this. You've already given the eating disorder the first half. You're not giving it the second." 💛 "Your body is changing whether you restrict or not. So what if you nourished it through this transition instead of punishing it?" 💛 "The question isn't 'How can I recover during menopause?' The question is 'How can I NOT recover during menopause?' 💛 "Recovery doesn't have an age limit. And it's not too late for you. The only thing that's too late? Waiting another decade to start." 💛 "This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. Midlife isn't the end. It's the beginning of the second half." 💛 "This is YOUR era. This is YOUR time." THE STATISTICS 📊 42% increase in eating disorder hospitalizations for women aged 45-65 in the last decade 📊 13% of women over 50 report disordered eating behaviors 📊 62% of women in midlife report weight and shape concerns significantly impact quality of life 📊 Women who seek treatment in their 40s and 50s have recovery rates comparable to—and sometimes BETTER than—younger women The truth: It is NOT too late. THE 5 REASONS WHY MIDLIFE IS THE PERFECT TIME TO RECOVER 1. You're running out of patience, not time You've tried everything. You're DONE. That urgency is your fuel. 2. "If not now, then when?" You're not wasting the second half of your life on this. 3. Your kids need less of you = space for YOU Finally, permission to ask: "What do I need?" 4. You're wiser now You're chasing presence, connection, LIFE—not perfection. 5. You have the resources now Financial, emotional, relational—you're ready to invest in yourself. MENOPAUSE & RECOVERY: WHY THEY WORK TOGETHER Your body is changing whether you restrict or not → Nourish it through the transition Hormonal shifts require MORE nourishment, not less → Support bone density, muscle mass, mental health Perimenopause forces you to let go of control → Exactly what recovery requires Recovery sets you up for a healthier second half → Bone health, heart health, energy, longevity REAL CLIENT STORIES ✨ Age 52: 33 years with bulimia. Today she's free, travels, eats without fear, rebuilding relationships. ✨ Age 47: Restricted her entire adult life. Today she's in the best health of her life—strong, energized, PRESENT. ✨ Age 61: "I spent 40 years believing I'd never be free. But I'm free now. And I have so much life left to live." WHAT LIFE AFTER ED IN MIDLIFE LOOKS LIKE 🌟 You wake up without immediately thinking about food or your body 🌟 You eat breakfast without guilt 🌟 You have ENERGY for work, passions, relationships 🌟 You're PRESENT with the people you love 🌟 You look in the mirror and recognize yourself—the REAL you 🌟 You travel, try new things, LIVE 🌟 You answer "Is this it?" with "No. This is just the beginning." THE REFRAME This isn't a crisis. It's a crossroads. You get to decide: Who do I want to be? How do I want to show up? What do I want my legacy to be? And the eating disorder? It doesn't get a vote. READY TO RECLAIM THE SECOND HALF OF YOUR LIFE? 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Group coaching for women in midlife ready to break free. Monthly calls, sisterhood, support. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING Deep, transformational work to reclaim YOUR life. This is YOUR era. 👉 www.herbestself.co  - Fill out a client application EATING DISORDER AWARENESS MONTH CHALLENGE If you're in midlife and still struggling: REACH OUT. Don't wait another year. Don't wait another decade. The perfect time is NOW. Share this episode with a woman in midlife who needs to hear this. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Free FB Community: www.herbestselfsociety.com 🌟Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.    

The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted. Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful. If you're with me and you experience the pressure to be perfect, this is a perfect paradox—and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health and that are so tied to eating disorders. In this episode, I'm diving into the relentless pressure to be perfect and how it's literally rewiring your brain to keep you stuck. Whether you're just starting your recovery journey or you've been on this path for years, perfectionism might feel like both an old friend and your biggest obstacle. And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready? The output you receive is simply exhaustion. You're exhausted, sis. And trying to live up to these impossible standards. But today, we're going to dissect this. We're going to look at what science says about breaking free. Because you don't just have to take my word for it—research shows your brain can actually change. In this episode, you'll discover: The impossible standards we're all trying to live up to (and why they're literally impossible) The shocking statistics: 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism Why perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors The deep roots of perfectionism: family dynamics, trauma, social media (users who spend 3+ hours/day are 60% more likely to develop body image issues) The neuroscience: How perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's "error detection center" How altered serotonin and dopamine systems make it harder for perfectionists to feel "good enough" or satisfied The vicious cycle: threat detection → anxiety → perfectionist behaviors → temporary relief → reinforced neural pathways The HOPE: How mindfulness, self-compassion, and exposure to imperfection can actually change your brain Why true recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and start doing it honestly A powerful devotional insight: "God won't bless who you pretend to be" The truth: Your worth isn't measured by impossible standards—it's measured by your courage to show up If you're tired of being tired, if you're exhausted from trying to be "perfect," if you feel stuck in the perfect paradox—this episode will give you both the science and the hope you need to break free. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "The cost of perfection left me perfectly exhausted." 💛 "Be thin, but not too thin. Be confident but not overly confident. Be successful, but not too successful. This is a perfect paradox and it is time to dump the impossible standards that are destroying your mental health." 💛 "That perfection you're chasing? It's like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. Not humanly possible. It's just not possible." 💛 "I remember thinking that if I could just get everything perfect—my meals, my exercise, my body—then finally I'd be enough." 💛 "Research shows that up to 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism. And perfectionism often appears even years before any eating disorder behaviors." 💛 "Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like this oversensitive alarm system that's constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or for mistakes." 💛 "The 'feel good' chemical—serotonin—is altered if you're a perfectionist, meaning the chemical that affects your mood regulation, your satisfaction, and the ability to feel good enough is altered." 💛 "Altered dopamine reward circuits make it harder to feel satisfied. It makes it harder for you to feel good enough. This creates that constant drive, that constant need to do better, to achieve more, to be smaller." 💛 "This cycle is created: Your threat detection system becomes hyperactive. This leads to increased anxiety. Anxiety triggers perfectionist behaviors. This gives you temporary relief. But it simply reinforces the cycle." 💛 "There is hope. With mindfulness practices, with self-compassion, with the opposite of perfection—being exposed to situations where you're almost forced to be imperfect—research shows you can actually change that hyperactivity in the brain." 💛 "Even if you feel like recovery is impossible, even if you feel like you've been doing this forever, I want you to understand that there is a neurobiological connection and research shows you can change. Your brain can change." 💛 "True recovery happens when you stop trying to do it perfectly and you start doing it honestly." 💛 "In a world filled with protocol, a never-ending list of do's and don'ts, and the pressure to be perfect, it can seem impossible to discover who you really are. But God uniquely made you. Nothing about you is a mistake, and He won't bless who you pretend to be." 💛 "Stop conforming, stop shrinking, stop dimming your light, and stop running from who and what you were always made to be." 💛 "Recovery is not about being perfect. It's about being present. It's about being real. It's about being gentle with you." 💛 "Your worth isn't measured by the ability to meet impossible standards, but it is measured by your courage to show up." THE IMPOSSIBLE STANDARDS (THE PERFECT PARADOX) You're trying to live up to contradictions that are literally impossible: ❌ Be thin, but not too thin ❌ Be confident, but not overly confident ❌ Be successful, but not too successful ❌ Be perfect with your meals, exercise, and body—then maybe you'll be enough The reality? These standards are like trying to catch smoke with your bare hands. They're not humanly possible. And when you couple perfectionism with the pressure from culture and society to be Instagram-ready, the output is exhaustion. Of course you're tired. Of course you're tired of being tired. It is impossible living up to these standards. THE STATISTICS: PERFECTIONISM & EATING DISORDERS 68% of individuals with eating disorders display clinically significant perfectionism Perfectionism often appears YEARS before any eating disorder behaviors - making it a crucial early warning sign Perfectionism remains elevated even AFTER recovery - making it a crucial focus in treatment and why so many people find themselves stuck in the "messy middle" of recovery Social media impact: Users who spend 3+ hours a day on social media are 60% more likely to develop body image issues THE DEEP ROOTS: WHERE PERFECTIONISM COMES FROM Your perfectionism didn't just appear out of nowhere. It has roots: 🌱 Early environmental factors: Family dynamics Parental expectations Academic and achievement pressure 🌱 Early exposure to: Diet culture Specific body ideals Trauma and childhood experiences 🌱 Social media's impact: Constant comparison Curated perfection Impossible standards reinforced daily THE NEUROSCIENCE: WHAT'S HAPPENING IN YOUR BRAIN 1. HEIGHTENED ERROR DETECTION CENTER Perfectionists have heightened activity in the brain's error detection center. It acts like an oversensitive alarm system constantly scanning for things you're doing wrong or mistakes. This hyperactivity creates a feedback loop of anxiety and self-criticism. This is how your brain keeps you "safe"—but it's also what keeps you stuck. 2. ALTERED SEROTONIN (THE "FEEL GOOD" CHEMICAL) Perfectionists often show altered functioning in serotonin—the chemical that affects: Mood regulation Satisfaction The ability to feel "good enough" Translation: It's harder for you to feel satisfied or content. This explains why perfectionism often co-occurs with anxiety, depression, and eating disorders. 3. ALTERED DOPAMINE (THE "REWARD" CHEMICAL) Perfectionists also show altered dopamine reward circuits, which means: It's harder to feel satisfied It's harder to feel "good enough" You have a constant drive to do better, achieve more, be smaller 4. ELEVATED CORTISOL (THE "STRESS" HORMONE) Constant stress and elevated cortisol levels: Make relaxation and self-acceptance SO much more challenging Impact immune function and physical health Worsen eating disorder symptoms (because you're stressed, tired, not eating enough to nourish your body) 5. REDUCED COGNITIVE FLEXIBILITY All of this makes it harder for you to: Be flexible in your thinking Accept the concept of not being perfect Navigate uncertainty THE VICIOUS CYCLE: HOW PERFECTIONISM KEEPS YOU STUCK Here's how the cycle works: 1. Threat Detection System on Overdrive Your brain's alarm system becomes hyperactive ↓ 2. Increased Anxiety Anxiety about failure, not being good enough, rejection, not being worthy ↓ 3. Perfectionist Behaviors Triggered Insert unhealthy eating disorder coping mechanisms ↓ 4. Temporary Relief You get a hit of that "feel superior" chemical because you feel in control ↓ 5. Cycle Reinforced This strengthens the neural pathway over time—like digging a ditch deeper and deeper in your mind ↓ REPEAT This is why it feels like you're literally crawling out of your skin. You want to do something differently, but you're not. The action is hard. If you're there, I see you. I get it. THE HOPE: YOUR BRAIN CAN CHANGE Here's the beautiful truth: Your brain can actually change. With: ✅ Mindfulness practices ✅ Self-compassion ✅ Exposure to imperfection (being in situations where you're forced to be imperfect and there's nothing you can do about it) ✅ New learning experiences (exposures) Research shows you can: Change that hyperactivity in the brain Improve serotonin function Create newer and healthier neural pathways That ditch can stop digging in one place and move to a different place in your brain that's gonna create healthier results for you. THE TRUTH: EVEN IF YOU FEEL STUCK, CHANGE IS POSSIBLE Even if: You feel like recovery is impossible You feel like you've been doing this forever You identify with being a perfectionist with structure and rigid routines You feel like maybe it's possible for HER to re

There's ONE word that's absolutely destroying your progress in recovery. One word that's keeping you stuck, paralyzed, and living in a constant state of shame and disappointment. That word? Should. And sis, you need to stop shoulding all over yourself. Like, right now. Today. Because every time you tell yourself what you "should" be doing, what you "should" have accomplished by now, where you "should" be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action. In this episode, I'm breaking down the science behind why "should" keeps you stuck, where all these "shoulds" come from in the first place, and giving you 5 powerful reframes you can start using TODAY to break free from the shame cycle and actually move forward. In this episode, you'll discover: The ONE word you need to stop using if you want to become the best version of yourself Where your "shoulds" come from (diet culture, perfectionism, family expectations, trauma, comparison) The science: Why "should" is the language of obligation, not empowerment Research from Stanford showing how "should" keeps your brain stuck in self-criticism instead of problem-solving How "shoulding" shows up specifically in eating disorder recovery Lindsey's personal story: "I should be over this by now" (like a bad boyfriend from 3 months ago) 5 powerful reframes to replace your "shoulds" with choice and compassion Why you're not behind, not failing, and not broken The edge: How to stop using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck A tangible homework assignment to catch yourself "shoulding" and reframe it If you've ever thought "I should eat this," "I should start today," "I should be further along," or "I should be over this by now"—this episode is your wake-up call. Stop shoulding. Start choosing. Become who you're BECOMING, not who you "should" be. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Every time you tell yourself what you 'should' be doing, what you 'should' have accomplished by now, where you 'should' be in your recovery—you're not motivating yourself. You're actually making it HARDER to take action." 💛 "Your 'shoulds' didn't just appear out of nowhere. They were planted. They were taught. They were absorbed from every message you've ever received about who you're supposed to be." 💛 "These 'shoulds' create this distortion in your mind that where you currently are is SO far behind where you 'should' be. And so you live in this constant state of not enough." 💛 "'Should' is the language of obligation, not empowerment. It's the language of shame, not choice." 💛 "When we focus on what we 'should' be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap that we can't actually take action to close it." 💛 "'Should' keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do." 💛 "I remember thinking, 'I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?' And I felt so much shame." 💛 "I asked a different question: 'But should I? Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection from myself?' And the answer? No." 💛 "You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script." 💛 "If you're constantly 'shoulding' yourself but not taking action, you're using 'should' as an excuse to stay stuck." 💛 "Stop talking about what you 'should' do and start choosing what you WILL do." 💛 "The words you use shape the life you live. And if you're constantly shoulding yourself, you're living in a prison of obligation and shame." THE SCIENCE: WHY "SHOULD" KEEPS YOU STUCK Dr. Albert Ellis, founder of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy, identified "should statements" as one of the core irrational beliefs that lead to emotional disturbance. He called it "shoulding" and "musturbation"—the belief that things MUST or SHOULD be a certain way. When reality doesn't match that "should," we experience anxiety, depression, guilt, and shame. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology study: People who use obligatory language like "should," "must," and "have to" experience higher levels of stress and lower levels of intrinsic motivation compared to people who use choice-based language like "choose to," "want to," or "could." Stanford University research: When we focus on what we "should" be doing but aren't, our brain gets stuck in a loop of self-criticism rather than problem-solving. We're so focused on the gap between where we are and where we "should" be that we can't actually take action to close that gap. The bottom line: "Should" keeps you stuck focusing on what you AREN'T doing rather than what you ARE doing or COULD do. WHERE YOUR "SHOULDS" COME FROM Your "shoulds" were planted, taught, and absorbed from: ❌ Diet culture - You should be smaller, eat clean, have willpower, look like her ❌ Perfectionism - You should have this figured out, be recovered already, do this better ❌ Family expectations - You should make everyone proud, not cause problems, be strong ❌ Past trauma - You should have prevented it, known better, be over it by now ❌ Comparison - You should be as far along as she is, making more progress, be different These create a distortion that where you currently are is SO far behind where you "should" be. And that's exhausting—and it's keeping you stuck. HOW "SHOULDING" SHOWS UP IN ED RECOVERY "I should eat this." → Implies obligation, not choice. Strips away agency. Builds resentment, not trust. "I should start today." → Implies you're behind, late, already failed before you begin. Starts with shame instead of hope. "I should be further along by now." → Assumes there's a timeline you're supposed to be on. Ignores YOUR unique journey. "I should be able to eat normally." → Rooted in comparison and unrealistic expectations. Ignores the reality of YOUR story. "I should be over this by now." → The killer. Creates shame for being human and healing at your own pace. LINDSEY'S PERSONAL STORY Years into recovery, Lindsey still had moments where the eating disorder voice crept back in. One day she thought: "I should be over this by now. It's been YEARS. This is like a bad boyfriend I dated for three months—why am I still thinking about him?" She felt intense shame. What's wrong with me? Why am I not fully healed? But then she stopped and asked a different question: "But should I?" Should I be "over" something that was part of my life for so long? Should I expect perfection? Should I shame myself for being human? The answer? No. The reframe: "I'm healing at my own pace. And that's exactly what I need to be doing." Just like that, the shame lifted. The pressure lifted. And she could actually move forward instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE 5 POWERFUL REFRAMES REFRAME #1: ❌ Instead of: "I should eat this." ✅ Say: "I choose to nourish my body with this." or "I'm giving my body what it needs." Why it works: Choice language = empowerment. You're not obligated. You're making a conscious decision. REFRAME #2: ❌ Instead of: "I should start today." ✅ Say: "I'm ready to begin today." or "Today is a great day to take the next step." Why it works: Removes the shame of being "behind" and replaces it with readiness and hope. REFRAME #3: ❌ Instead of: "I should be further along by now." ✅ Say: "I'm exactly where I need to be in my journey." or "I'm making progress, even if it doesn't look like I thought it would." Why it works: Honors your unique timeline and removes comparison. Progress isn't linear. REFRAME #4: ❌ Instead of: "I should be able to eat normally." ✅ Say: "I'm learning to eat in a way that honors my body." or "I'm building a new relationship with food, and that takes time." Why it works: Removes unrealistic expectations and replaces them with patience and self-compassion. REFRAME #5: ❌ Instead of: "I should be over this by now." ✅ Say: "I'm healing at my own pace, and that's exactly what I need." or "Recovery is a journey, not a destination. I'm on my way." Why it works: Gives you permission to be human. To heal in YOUR time. To stop rushing the process. THE COMPASSIONATE TRUTH You are not behind. You are not failing. You are not broken. You're healing. And healing doesn't follow a script. It doesn't follow a timeline. It doesn't look the same for everyone. When you stop "shoulding" yourself, you create space for what's actually true: ✅ You're doing the best you can with what you have right now ✅ You're allowed to be imperfect ✅ You're allowed to take your time ✅ You're allowed to choose yourself without shame When you replace "should" with choice, compassion, and truth—you unlock the ability to actually MOVE FORWARD instead of staying stuck in self-judgment. THE EDGE: STOP USING "SHOULD" AS AN EXCUSE If you're constantly "shoulding" yourself but not taking action, you're using "should" as an excuse to stay stuck. "I should start recovery" becomes a way to avoid actually starting "I should eat better" becomes a way to avoid actually nourishing yourself "I should be further along" becomes a way to avoid doing the work to GET further along The challenge: Stop talking about what you "should" do and start choosing what you WILL do. Not because you have to. Not because you're obligated. But because you WANT freedom. Because you're READY to heal. Because you CHOOSE yourself. YOUR HOMEWORK: CATCH & REFRAME Catch yourself "shoulding" three times today. Just three. When you do, pause and ask yourself: Where did this "should" come from? Is it true? Or is it just an expectation I'm putting on myself? What would I say instead if I spoke to myself with compassion? Then reframe it using one of the five reframes above (or create your own). Write it down. Say it out loud. Let your brain hear a different story. Because the words you use shape the life you live. READY TO BUILD BELI

Let me be real with you: You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And you won't lean in if you don't believe it's possible. This is the hardest thing about eating disorder recovery. Not the meal plan. Not the weight restoration. Not even the challenging of thoughts. It's the BELIEF. The belief that recovery from this terrible, horrifying, very no good, unfortunate eating disorder that has taken over your life is actually possible for YOU. Maybe you listen to this podcast and think, "Great, Lindsey. I love that this is inspirational, but I'm just not sure I'm fully bought in to the possibility that I can experience freedom. That I could actually change." If that's you, this episode is your game-changer + it's a ⭐ Fan Favorite that we knew we wanted to re-share with you this week. Recently, I had conversations with women who asked me, "Lindsey, I love what you do, but how do you help these women create that belief that this is possible for them?" And I said, "That IS the hardest thing. It's believing that this is possible." So today, I'm giving you a proven framework—a tangible acronym that spells out BELIEF—to help you overcome the limiting beliefs that are keeping you stuck and preventing you from your very best life. In this episode, you'll discover: Why so many women stay stuck in the destructive cycle (hint: they don't believe freedom is possible) The truth: Belief CAN be created, and it's a crucial step in the healing process The BELIEF Framework: 6 proven steps to create unwavering faith in your recovery B - Begin Small: Why trying to change everything at once keeps you stuck E - Embrace Support: The game-changing power of working with someone specialized in ED recovery L - Learn and Learn Again: How educating yourself builds reassurance and hope I - Imagine Your Future: The science behind visualization and why your brain can't tell the difference E - Establish Positive Practices: How to challenge negative thoughts and speak kinder to yourself F - Focus on Why: Why your "why" is greater than your "now" The powerful William James quote: "Belief creates actual fact" Why recovery is scientifically and clinically possible (yes, even for you) How to answer the question: "Can I believe there is something greater on the other side of all this?" If you want to recover, if you want freedom so badly, if you're tired of running in circles, if you're exhausted from your unhealthy relationship with food and exercise—this episode will show you how to build the belief you need to finally break free. Because if I can do it, then so can you, friend. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "You won't experience healing if you don't lean in. And the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief." 💛 "If you choose to stay in that fixed mindset of 'I doubt myself, I will always be this way, there's no room for any of that freedom for me,' then that is where you will stay. But belief can be created." 💛 "A lot of women will stay stuck in this destructive cycle because they just don't believe that freedom's possible for them." 💛 "We are bounce back creatures. Anything is possible for us. But the possibility of it being possible is dependent upon your belief." 💛 "It doesn't matter which direction you go, as long as you continue to look forward and you continue to build forward." 💛 "Well, if she can do it, why can't I?" 💛 "Understanding that recovery is scientifically and clinically possible—this is gonna build that reassurance for you and give your brain some safety that leads to hope with belief." 💛 "It does not matter if you've done something before or if you have visualized something before—if you can visualize it, you can become it. If you can visualize it, you can be it." 💛 "Trust that your why is greater than your now. Trust that your why is bigger than your present reality." 💛 "Belief creates actual fact." - William James, Father of American Psychology 💛 "Can I believe that there is something grander, that there is something greater on the other side of all this? Can I believe that there is something more for me than this? And if your answer's yes, you already have the belief you need right now to create the life that you want." THE BELIEF FRAMEWORK: 6 PROVEN STEPS This acronym will help you build the belief you need to recover. Grab a piece of paper and jot this down—or come back to this section whenever doubt creeps in. THE POWERFUL TRUTH: BELIEF CREATES ACTUAL FACT William James, the father of American psychology, stated: "Belief creates actual fact." So when the enemy tries to steal your joy this week—when the enemy tries to bring you doubt and discouragement, when the enemy tries to have you staring at your step count, giving yourself shame thoughts, looking at your mirror and telling your body that you hate yourself—I want you to lean in. Remember these core fundamentals to step into belief: B - Begin Small E - Embrace Support L - Learn and Learn Again I - Imagine Freedom E - Establish Positive Practices F - Focus on Why You have the power to believe in the process. Trust that you might not know all the answers, but you're striving to figure them out along the way. READY TO BUILD BELIEF WITH SUPPORT? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 JOIN OUR EMAIL COMMUNITY Get multiple weeks of encouragement, tools, and support delivered straight to your inbox. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and get on our email list 💛 WORK WITH A RECOVERY COACH If you're looking for someone to help you along your path to freedom, I have coaches on my team (or myself) who would love to support you. We'll help you incorporate these BELIEF steps in tangible ways—like tools in a toolbox—that are gonna get you living your very best life. 👉 Fill out a client application https://docs.google.com/forms/d/13WDpvmQNoVvAytBdqM72FIp1AqXMfSFrqzQVvBWrwHY/edit  💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE Join my group coaching community where women come together to build belief, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work and personalized support to build unshakeable belief in your recovery—let's partner together. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

Today is a very special episode. For the first time ever, I'm bringing on a guest. And not just any guest—my husband, Kevin. If you've been listening to this podcast for a while, you know I talk a lot about my recovery journey, the tools, the strategies, the mindset shifts. But what I don't talk about as much is the man behind the scenes. The man who supports me. The man who holds down the fort so I can record this podcast, run my business, and continue to show up for you every single week. Kevin is that man. He's the anchor. And it's time for you to meet him. Here's the truth: Recovery doesn't just affect the person struggling. It affects the whole family. And the support of a partner can make or break the journey. Kevin met me shortly after my recovery, but he's watched me navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout our marriage. He's a law enforcement officer, lifts heavy weights, is in tip-top shape, and constantly pushes himself to the limit. He's an alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined. And he's also a man of God, a father to our two boys, and the most supportive partner I could ever ask for. But supporting someone in eating disorder recovery didn't come naturally to him. He had to learn. And today, he's sharing what he learned—for the men listening, and for the women who want their husbands or partners to understand what real support looks like. In this episode, you'll hear: How Kevin met me shortly after recovery and realized it's an ongoing journey, not a one-and-done Why his instinct to "fix" me actually created distance instead of intimacy The words he thought were supportive that actually made me feel dismissed What he did that made me feel the MOST safe and supported How he learned not to react in passion or frustration, but to actively listen instead Why asking "What do you need right now to feel safe?" changed everything How Kevin had to recognize that what HE needs for his body is very different from what I need The learning curve of being an alpha male married to someone in ED recovery What it really looks like to be "the man behind the biz" (spoiler: it's cooking, cleaning, and holding down the fort) Kevin's 5 practical takeaways for men supporting their wives through ED recovery or body image struggles A sneak peek at future episodes where Kevin will come back to share more of his perspective If you're a woman in recovery, send this episode to your husband or partner. If you're a man listening, thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. This episode is for you. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Your wife doesn't need you to fix her. She needs you to support her. And those are two very different things." - Lindsey 💛 "You don't have to understand everything she's going through to support her. You don't have to have all the answers. But you do have to be willing to listen. And I mean really listen—without trying to fix it, without pressuring her, without making unnecessary comments." - Kevin 💛 "Early on, my instinct was to say things like, 'You're fine. You look great. Just go eat more.' And I thought I was being supportive. But what I didn't realize was that those kinds of comments actually created more distance between us." - Kevin 💛 "That disconnect—it affected intimacy. Not just physical intimacy, but emotional intimacy too." - Lindsey 💛 "I had to learn that sometimes the most supportive thing I can do is just listen. Ask questions. Ask what you need to feel safe. And then do that." - Kevin 💛 "When you asked what I needed instead of assuming, I felt seen. I felt heard. I felt like you were on my team." - Lindsey 💛 "I can't take away the struggle. I can't make the eating disorder voice go away. But I can support you in climbing out of the struggle. I can listen. I can be present. I can remind you who you are." - Kevin 💛 "You don't have to sit in the struggle with her. But you can support her in climbing out. You can be her safe place." - Kevin 💛 "I had to grant you permission to have a different relationship with your body than I have with mine. Your recovery doesn't look like my fitness journey. And that's okay." - Kevin 💛 "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." - Kevin 💛 "Your job is just to be the anchor." - Kevin MEET KEVIN NICHOL Kevin is: A law enforcement officer A fitness enthusiast who lifts heavy and pushes himself to the limit An alpha personality—strong, driven, disciplined A man of God A father to two boys Lindsey's husband and "the man behind the biz" The anchor who holds down the fort so Lindsey can do this work Kevin met Lindsey shortly after her initial recovery, but quickly realized that recovery is ongoing. He's watched her navigate ups and downs with body image and restrictive behaviors throughout their marriage, and he's learned how to support her without trying to fix her. KEVIN'S 5 PRACTICAL TAKEAWAYS FOR MEN If you're a man whose wife is struggling with an eating disorder, body image issues, or disordered eating, here's what Kevin wants you to know: #1: DON'T TRY TO FIX HER Your job isn't to solve the problem. Your job is to support her while she does the hard work of recovery. That means listening. Asking what she needs. Being present. #2: WATCH YOUR WORDS Don't say things like: "You're fine" "Just eat more" "You look great, stop worrying" Those comments, even though they're well-intentioned, can make her feel dismissed. Instead, ask: "What do you need from me right now?" #3: RECOGNIZE THAT WHAT YOU NEED FOR YOUR BODY IS DIFFERENT FROM WHAT SHE NEEDS If you're into fitness or discipline or pushing your limits, that's great. But don't project that onto her. Grant her permission to have a different relationship with her body. Your fitness journey is not her recovery journey. And that's okay. #4: BE HER SAFE PLACE When she's spiraling, when she's struggling, when the eating disorder voice is loud—be the one who reminds her of the truth. Remind her: She's loved She's more than enough Her value isn't tied to her body She is who God created her to be #5: DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY Her struggle isn't about you. It's not because you're not enough or because you're doing something wrong. This is her battle. But you can be her ally. WHAT KEVIN DID THAT MADE LINDSEY FEEL SAFE Kevin shares that the most supportive thing he learned to do was: ✅ Not reacting in passion or frustration - Even when he didn't understand why Lindsey was struggling, he learned not to react from confusion or frustration because it only made things worse. ✅ Actively listening - Instead of trying to fix or dismiss, he learned to ask, "What do you need right now to feel safe?" ✅ Taking action based on her needs - Sometimes that meant: Cooking dinner so Lindsey didn't have to make food decisions Picking the restaurant so she didn't spiral in anxiety Reminding her of her truth and worth Simply sitting with her without trying to solve anything The result? Lindsey felt seen. Heard. Supported. Like Kevin was on her team. THE ALPHA MALE LEARNING CURVE As someone who lifts heavy weights, is disciplined with fitness, and pushes his body to the limit, Kevin had to learn an important lesson: What HE needs for his body is very different from what Lindsey needs. In the beginning, Kevin would talk about his workouts, his macros, his goals—not realizing it could be triggering for Lindsey. Because for him, fitness and discipline are about strength and performance. But for Lindsey, those topics were tied to control, restriction, and shame. Kevin had to learn: To be mindful of how he talked about fitness and discipline To grant Lindsey permission to have a different relationship with her body than he has with his That her recovery doesn't look like his fitness journey—and that's okay Lindsey says: "That was one of the most loving things you did for me. You gave me permission to be different. To need different things. To heal in my own way." THE MAN BEHIND THE BIZ Kevin doesn't get a lot of recognition, but he's the anchor. He's the one who makes it possible for Lindsey to do this work. What that looks like practically: Cooking meals Cleaning the house Taking care of the boys so Lindsey can record the podcast Getting the kids to bed so Lindsey can do yoga or self-care Holding down the fort so Lindsey can show up for her clients and her calling Kevin says: "Supporting your wife's recovery—or supporting her business, her calling, her purpose—sometimes looks like doing the dishes or making dinner or getting the kids to bed so she can have space to breathe. It's not glamorous. But it matters." And it matters SO much. WHAT'S NEXT: KEVIN IS COMING BACK This is the first of what we hope will be many episodes with Kevin. Future topics might include: What NOT to Say to Your Wife About Food or Body How to Be Her Safe Place When She's Spiraling Navigating Intimacy When She's Struggling with Body Image The Man's Perspective on Recovery: What You're Really Feeling (And How to Handle It) If you're a woman listening: Send this episode to your husband or partner. Share it. Tag us on Instagram. Let's open up this conversation. If you're a man listening: Thank you for being here. Thank you for wanting to support your wife. We're going to keep creating content that helps you do that. NEED SUPPORT IN YOUR RECOVERY? WORK WITH LINDSEY 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE This is my group coaching community where women come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You

Let me start this one hot and spicy for you: Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem. That's right. Food is not the problem. Especially when you've had an unhealthy obsession with calorie counting and diet culture. It's actually about control. And we give calories all the glory when in reality, choosing food based on calories doesn't even equate to the essential nutrients and vitamins that we need to thrive. Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need, sis, to function, to live, to be your best. Energy that you need to play with your kids, go out with your friends, dress up cute for a date night, do your job, clean your house, take that walk. But restrictive diets and disordered relationships with food cause this obsession with control and counting calories. And while we continue to be chained to numbers and the fixation of numbers, we're missing out on LIFE. Maybe you don't count calories, but you count other things—steps, fat grams, your weight on the scale. It's time to hang it up. It's time to stop. But I'm not just gonna ask you to stop cold turkey because we all know how that typically goes. In this episode, I'm giving you six practical steps you can take TODAY to stop counting calories so you can start counting moments that matter in your life. In this episode, you'll discover: Why food isn't the problem (control is) and what you're really searching for The shocking truth about calorie tracking apps (73% of MyFitnessPal users reported it contributed to disordered eating!) 6 actionable steps to stop counting calories for good How to transform your thinking around calories (they're energy, not the enemy) What triggers to eliminate from your life RIGHT NOW How to face the fear and challenge yourself in restaurants and at home What to count INSTEAD of calories (hint: Episode 56 has 30 ideas!) Why honoring your hunger is the key to freedom The powerful statement that will shift everything: "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them will" If you're obsessively counting calories, tracking your food, or constantly calculating like a mathematician how many calories you have left for the day—this episode is for you. Let's stop counting calories and start counting moments that matter. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Counting calories isn't the answer because food isn't the problem. Food is not the problem. It's actually control." 💛 "Calories are simply a unit of energy. Energy that you need to function, to live, to be your best." 💛 "Your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing that it needs to survive and thrive at its best." 💛 "Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: 'I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy.' How does that feel?" 💛 "In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker, and 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders. Yet we're still using these things expecting different results." 💛 "Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world." 💛 "You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time. I remember feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food." 💛 "Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will." 💛 "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time." 💛 "You're allowed to take up space. You're allowed to be who you are created to be. And counting calories is not gonna be the answer for you." THE REAL ISSUE: IT'S NOT FOOD, IT'S CONTROL Food isn't the problem. Control is. Counting calories is about control, rigid routines, and the desire to provide assurance when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with, something to have structure around. It gives you peace, but it's FALSE. It's a false sense of control. The counting started small, right? You wanted to track what you were eating, maybe to lose some weight. And it became an obsession. Now you know probably how many calories are in everything. You're tracking on paper, on an app, on your phone. This fear to control your weight, maintain your weight, or avoid gaining weight is what's leading you. But this is led by distorted standards of diet culture and worldly labels or traumas you've faced in your life. And sis, it has to stop. THE 6 STEPS TO STOP COUNTING CALORIES FOR GOOD STEP #1: ACKNOWLEDGE WHY YOU'RE COUNTING IN THE FIRST PLACE Counting calories has taken over your life. It didn't start out like that, but it became an obsession. I want you to acknowledge: Why it's there in the first place What you're searching for when you're counting What knowing that number is actually giving you Is what it's giving you a good outcome? Or is it just leading to more shame? Typically, this is all about control. Control when we're feeling like we aren't assured. When we're needing security. When we're wanting comfort. When we just need something to cope with. You're measuring yourself against a false standard, against a unit of energy. How crazy is that? STEP #2: TRANSFORM YOUR THINKING AROUND CALORIES Calories are actually units of energy. But don't you want MORE energy? I mean, aren't you tired of being tired? Energy isn't good or bad. It's just energy. When you think of energy, do you view it as bad the way you view calories? Do you want less of it? No, right? You've tied negative meaning to calories and only given yourself permission to restrict them. But see, your body wasn't created to be restricted from the very thing it needs to survive and thrive at its best. Just like we need water every day to hydrate, we need food and calories to keep up with our day, to be energized. I want you to start reframing the way you're thinking about calories. Every single time you're thinking about restricting your calories, I want you to put on this thought: "I'm making the choice right now to restrict my energy." How does that feel? I don't know about you, but I can use all the energy I can get. Energy to take my kids to school, energy to show up on the podcast, energy to do all the things that life has for me. I don't need less of it. I need MORE of it. Sis, so do you. Stop thinking about calories as if they're bad. They're not bad. They're a form of energy that's gonna allow you to do life. STEP #3: GET RID OF THE TRACKERS Get rid of: ❌ The notebooks ❌ The watches ❌ The apps ❌ All the social accounts ❌ The food scales ❌ The scale scales ❌ Take off the labels Why put yourself in temptation's path? Practical tips: Have someone in your house or someone close to you go grocery shopping for you Challenge yourself if you're at the store to shorten your shopping time and select only items you cannot check labels of Make it a game: Nothing goes in your basket that you've looked at the label for Select only items that you don't know the calorie content of The research is CLEAR: In 2018, researchers reviewed the effects of the MyFitnessPal calorie tracker. 73% of users reported that the app contributed to disordered eating behaviors and eating disorders. Yet we're still using these things expecting different results. Sit with that one today, sis. STEP #4: FACE THE FEAR It's time to challenge yourself: ✅ Go to a restaurant and avoid looking at the menu ahead of time ✅ Order something you can't get the calorie count for ✅ Have someone else going with you order something for you ✅ When you're home during the week, have someone else prepare your meals if possible Face the fear. Challenge yourself. Lean into it. STEP #5: COUNT SOMETHING ELSE INSTEAD Your brain is searching for control. It just wants some safety in an unsafe world. And your body is already a self-regulating machine. Your metabolism is gonna naturally heal itself. So count something else instead. Check out Episode 56: Calorie Counting Isn't Cute—30 Things to Count Instead of Calories, Macros, and Fat Grams. You're really going to enjoy that one. STEP #6: HONOR YOUR JOURNEY AND WHERE YOU ARE IN IT Honor your hunger. Your TRUE hunger. Stopping the desire to count every single morsel of food doesn't happen overnight. It takes time. But it can and it WILL happen if you keep showing up for you. Try this practice: STOP, PAUSE, PRAY (or say a mantra). STOP, PAUSE, FEEL. Sit with yourself: Why do I wanna count this thing? What am I making this mean by counting it? Grant yourself grace and permission to NOT count Is the world gonna end tomorrow because you decided not to count your calories today? You will actually start to forget calorie counts over time. I remember in my eating disorder feeling like I could be on The Price is Right, but instead of knowing the price of food, I could tell you the calorie counts of food. That is what I used to gauge whether or not I was allowed to give myself permission to eat it. Stop. Stop the madness. You have permission. THE POWERFUL TRUTH YOU NEED TO HEAR Calories won't kill you, but your eating disorder will. And I heard this amazing statement (I don't know who it came from, but it was bomb): "100 more calories won't change your life, but the decision to avoid them—the decision to stay chained in the illness, the decision to not fight back, the decision to continue counting meaningless numbers as if they somehow measure the weight of your worth—that will alter your life every time." I feel it to my core today. If you're listening and you're counting calories, it's time to stop. It's time to stop giving calories a place of power in your life. It's time to stop idoli

I'm a huge believer in reading—not just consuming content on social media but actually sitting down with a book and letting the words sink deep into your soul. Over the years, there have been specific books that have absolutely transformed my life and my recovery journey. Books that challenged me. Books that comforted me. Books that made me think differently about myself, my identity, and my purpose. And today? I'm sharing my six must-read book recommendations for 2026. These are books that I believe will help you in your eating disorder recovery journey—whether you're just starting out, you're in the thick of it, or you're on the other side working to stay free. In this episode, you'll discover: Why reading matters in your recovery (and why it's different from scrolling social media) 6 game-changing books that will give you momentum in 2026 How to tackle limiting beliefs and trust that recovery is figureoutable Why you don't need everyone's approval to live your life (and recover) How to understand who you are at your core—beyond the eating disorder's lies The power of shame resilience and why shame doesn't get to win A raw, honest fiction novel that mirrors the struggle and hope of recovery How to live in the beautiful tension of "now and not yet" on your journey Grab a pen, grab your phone, take notes. Because sis, these books? They're game-changers. Let's fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom—so there's less room for the eating disorder's lies. THE 6 MUST-READ BOOKS FOR ED RECOVERY IN 2026 📖 BOOK #1: Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo What it's about: This book is all about tackling problems, obstacles, and challenges with the mindset that no matter what you're facing—yes, even eating disorder recovery—you can figure it out. Why you need it: Marie teaches you how to reframe limiting beliefs, take action even when you're scared, and trust that you have everything you need inside of you to solve any problem. Perfect for you if: You feel stuck, like recovery is too hard or too complicated. This book will remind you that you are more capable than you think. Everything—yes, everything—is figureoutable. Including your freedom. 📖 BOOK #2: The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga What it's about: Based on the teachings of Alfred Adler, this book is presented as a dialogue between a philosopher and a young man about living free from the need for approval. Why you need it: It teaches you that you don't need everyone's approval to live your life. It challenges the people-pleasing, the need for external validation, and the fear of judgment that so many of us carry—especially those of us with eating disorders. Perfect for you if: You struggle with people-pleasing or feeling like you need permission to recover. This book will help you understand that you can choose freedom over approval. You can choose yourself over what everyone else thinks. And that's where real recovery lives. 📖 BOOK #3: Human Design by Jenna Zoe What it's about: Human Design is a system that helps you understand how you're uniquely wired as an individual. Why you need it: This book helps you discover who you are at your core—not who the eating disorder says you are, not who society says you should be, but who you were designed to be. Perfect for you if: You need permission to stop trying to fit into a mold that was never meant for you. When you start to see yourself through the lens of your unique design and personality, it helps you embrace your strengths, your natural way of being, and how you operate in the world. Recovery is about coming home to yourself. And this book? It's like a roadmap back. 📖 BOOK #4: I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brené Brown What it's about: This book is all about shame resilience—understanding how shame works, how it keeps us stuck, and most importantly, how to build resilience against it. Why you need it: If there's one thing that fuels an eating disorder, it's shame. Shame about your body. Shame about your eating. Shame about not being "good enough" or "perfect enough." Brené teaches you that shame loses its power when we talk about it, when we share our stories, when we realize we're not alone. Perfect for you if: You've ever felt like you're the only one struggling, like there's something uniquely broken about you. This book will remind you that you're not alone. And that shame? It doesn't get to win. 📖 BOOK #5: Slip by Mallary Tarplay What it's about: This is a novel—fiction—about a woman struggling with bulimia and the journey she goes through to find recovery. It's raw, it's honest, and it doesn't sugarcoat the hard parts. Why you need it: Sometimes we need to see ourselves in a story. Sometimes we need to read about someone else's journey to remind us that recovery is possible. That it's worth it. That we're not alone in the fight. Perfect for you if: You want a book that feels like a mirror—one that reflects the struggle but also the hope. This book shows the beauty of healing, the messiness of recovery, and the hope that exists even in the darkest moments. 📖 BOOK #6: Now and Not Yet by Ruth Chou Simons What it's about: This book is all about living in the tension of the "already but not yet." The idea that you are already loved, already worthy, already enough—but you're also still becoming. Still growing. Still on the journey. Why you need it: Recovery isn't linear. You're not "there" yet, but you're also not back where you started. You're in the middle. You're in the messy, beautiful, uncomfortable middle. Perfect for you if: You need a book that speaks hope, grace, and truth over your recovery journey. This book will remind you that God is with you in the now AND the not yet. That you don't have to have it all figured out to be worthy. That you can rest in the process. That you can trust that you're becoming exactly who you were meant to be—even if you're not there yet. THE FULL MUST-READ LIST FOR 2026 Everything is Figureoutable by Marie Forleo The Courage to Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga Human Design by Jenna Zoe I Thought It Was Just Me (But It Isn't) by Brené Brown Slip by Mallary Tarplay Now and Not Yet by Ruth Chou Simons Pick one. Pick all six. Just start reading. Because the more you fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom, the less room there is for the eating disorder's lies. KEY QUOTE FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "I'm a huge believer in reading—not just consuming content on social media, but actually sitting down with a book and letting the words sink deep into your soul." 💛 "The more you fill your mind with truth, hope, and wisdom, the less room there is for the eating disorder's lies." 💛 "Recovery is about coming home to yourself. And this book? It's like a roadmap back." 💛 "Shame loses its power when we talk about it, when we share our stories, when we realize we're not alone." 💛 "You are already loved, already worthy, already enough—but you're also still becoming. Still growing. Still on the journey." NEED MORE THAN BOOKS? WORK WITH ME IN 2026 💛 THE RECOVERY COLLECTIVE This is my group coaching community where women just like you come together to heal, support each other, and do the deep work of recovery. You'll have access to me, monthly coaching calls, and a sisterhood that gets it. That gets you. www.herbestself.co/recoverycollective  💛 1:1 PERSONALIZED COACHING If you're ready for deep, transformational work, if you want someone in your corner who's going to hold you accountable and remind you who you are when the eating disorder tries to convince you otherwise—let's work together. I'm taking applications right now. 👉 Head to www.herbestself.co and fill out a client application. Let's make 2026 the year you invest in yourself—whether that's through these books, through coaching, or both. Connect with Lindsey: 🌟 Website: www.herbestself.co 🌟 Instagram: @thelindseynichol 🌟 Client Application: HBS Co. Recovery Coaching - Client Application - Google Forms Love this episode? Here's how you can support the show: 💕 Share it with a woman who might need to hear this message 💕 Leave a review on Apple Podcasts - it helps other women find the show 💕 Screenshot and tag @thelindseynichol if any of these steps help you this week! Remember, beautiful: Your worth is not measured by how perfectly you do recovery. Healing isn't linear, progress over perfection always, and you are exactly where you need to be right now. Her Best Self with Lindsey Nichol is a podcast for women in eating disorder recovery who are ready to break free from perfectionism, people-pleasing, and diet culture to live authentically and wholeheartedly. *While I am a certified health coach, anorexia survivor & eating disorder recovery coach, I do not intend the use of this message to serve as medical advice. Please refer to the disclaimer here in the show & be sure to contact a licensed clinical provider if you are struggling with an eating disorder.

We're already mid-January. Goals have been set. Maybe you wrote down "recover this year" or "heal my relationship with food" or "finally find freedom." But here's what I need you to hear: Setting the goal isn't the problem. How you're approaching it is. I was listening to a Tony Robbins podcast recently, and he said something that stopped me in my tracks: The reason why people don't get the results they're after is because they approach it all wrong. Most people start with the strategy—looking for the perfect plan, the magic formula, the one thing that's going to solve everything. And when that strategy doesn't work, they think they failed. But the truth is, the strategy was never the problem. It's that they started in the wrong place. This is SO true in eating disorder recovery. People come to me all the time asking, "Lindsey, what's THE strategy? What did YOU do to recover? Just tell me the steps and I'll do it." And here's what I have to tell them: There are multiple ways of getting to recovery. No one way is THE way. And anyone who tells you there is only one way? Run from them. In this episode, I'm introducing you to the 3B Framework—Being, Belief, and Blueprint—the exact approach I use with my private clients that actually gets lasting results. Because sis, the strategy isn't the first step. It's actually the LAST step. And that's why you've been stuck. In this episode, you'll discover: Why starting with strategy is keeping you stuck in the recovery cycle The 3B Framework: Being, Belief, and Blueprint (and why the order matters) Why anyone promising "one proven way" to recover is lying to you The real reason my clients see lasting transformation (it's not the meal plan) My personal figure skating story and how old beliefs kept me trapped for years The moment at the ice rink that showed me I was finally free Why the patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the soul work isn't met How to identify the story you've been telling yourself that's keeping you stuck Practical homework to excavate your core beliefs and rewrite your narrative If you keep doing what you've always done, you're going to keep getting what you've always gotten. And I'm guessing you're tired of being stuck. So let's change the approach. Let's do this differently. Let's actually get you FREE. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "Setting the goal isn't the problem. How you're approaching it is." 💛 "There are multiple ways of getting to recovery. No one way is THE way. And anyone who tells you there is only one way? Run from them." 💛 "The reason why my clients see results? It's because we don't start with the strategy. We start with something much deeper." 💛 "The blueprint won't matter if your being and your belief are still stuck in the old ways of thinking. We have to conquer those pieces first." 💛 "The strategy isn't the first bite of the salad, sis. It's actually the Being and the Belief. We have to unravel the WHY behind why we believe what we believe." 💛 "You can have the best meal plan. You can have the best treatment team. You can have all the tools and resources and support in the world. But if you don't change your BEING—if you don't shift your BELIEF—you're going to keep sabotaging yourself." 💛 "The smell of the rink was the same. But my belief and my identity weren't trapped in the sport anymore. I was healed." 💛 "There's a reason why we hang on to the eating disorder for so long. For me, it was because I didn't see myself as anything but that version of myself. But sis, it's time to believe bigger." 💛 "The patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the internal work isn't met." THE 3B FRAMEWORK EXPLAINED This is the exact framework I use with my private coaching clients—and it's why they see actual, lasting transformation instead of just temporary fixes. STEP 1: BEING (Your Current State) This is where you are RIGHT NOW. What is the state of your current being? What is the urgency of your situation? What is your mental, emotional, and physical state when you come to me? Are you in crisis? Are you stuck in quasi-recovery? Are you white-knuckling your way through life pretending you're fine when you're actually dying inside? We start here. Because if you don't get honest about where you are, you can't get to where you want to go. Most people skip this step entirely. They want to jump straight to the strategy. But that's like asking for directions to a destination without telling me where you're starting from or what vehicle you're driving. STEP 2: BELIEF (Your Core Story) This is the story you've been telling yourself. What are the core beliefs driving your behaviors? What narrative have you been living in for months, years, maybe even decades? What do you believe about yourself, your body, your worth, your identity? Are you believing that you're only worthy if you're small? That food is the enemy? That control equals safety? That you'll never recover? That this is just who you are? This is where we do the soul work. The deep work. Because sis, the patterns and behaviors won't change long-lasting if the internal work isn't met. These beliefs are running the show. And until you identify them, challenge them, and replace them with truth, you're going to stay stuck. There's a reason why we hang on to the eating disorder for so long. We have to unravel the WHY behind why we believe what we believe. STEP 3: BLUEPRINT (Your Strategy) This is the action plan. The "how do we get you there?" part. But here's the key: The blueprint won't matter if your being and your belief are still stuck in the old ways of thinking. We have to conquer Steps 1 and 2 first. Otherwise, you're just putting a band-aid on a wound that needs surgery. You can have the best meal plan. You can have the best treatment team. You can have all the tools and resources and support in the world. But if you haven't changed your BEING and shifted your BELIEF, you're going to keep sabotaging yourself. You're going to keep "cheating" on your meal plan. You're going to keep restricting in secret. You're going to keep pretending you're recovering while you're really just maintaining your eating disorder with a smile on your face. Once we've addressed your being and your belief, THEN we can create a blueprint. Then we can map out the tools, the action steps, the meal plans, the support systems, the practices that will actually work for YOU. But not before. Because the blueprint is useless without the foundation. MY FIGURE SKATING STORY: WHEN BELIEF KEPT ME TRAPPED Over winter break, I took my boys ice skating. And the moment I walked into that rink, I was hit with a wave of memories. The smell of the ice. The cold, crisp air. The must from the hockey players and public skaters. I closed my eyes for a second, and it all came rushing back. For so long after my recovery, skating was triggering for me. Because my entire identity as a figure skater was wrapped up in perfectionism and performance. Being the smallest was the best. Looking perfect was the goal. Technique over joy. Approval over freedom. Those beliefs protected me during that season of my life. They gave me structure. They gave me control. They gave me a sense of worth when I felt worthless everywhere else. But they also trapped me. They kept me stuck in an eating disorder that nearly killed me. So for years, I avoided skating. Because I didn't know who I was without those beliefs. I didn't know if I could step onto the ice without falling back into that version of myself. But this time? This time was different. My oldest asked me to do a sit spin. And I thought, "Why not?" So I did it. And you know what? I nailed it. The muscle memory was still there. My body remembered. But something else was different. I was different. I wasn't focused on what others thought. I wasn't worried about my technique. I wasn't performing for approval. I was just... doing it. For fun. For the first time in my life, I was skating for JOY, not perfection. It felt like freedom. It felt playful. No strings attached. No perfection required. Just me being a mom, showing my kids that their mom was once someone cool. And honestly? Feeling pretty cool in that moment. And that's when it hit me: The smell of the rink was the same. But my belief and my identity weren't trapped in the sport anymore. I was healed. WHY BELIEF IS THE GAME-CHANGER That moment on the ice showed me something so important: You can have all the skills. You can have all the muscle memory. You can have all the strategy in the world. But if your BELIEF about yourself hasn't changed, you'll always go back to the old patterns. This is why so many of my clients come to me looking for the strategy, but they realize pretty quickly that they need something deeper. They need to look at their BEING. They need to examine their BELIEF. Because the best strategy in the world won't work unless you're prepared to execute it. And you can't execute it if you're still operating from the old story. RUN FROM THESE "ONE WAY" LIES Run from anyone who says: ❌ A meal plan is the ONLY way to recover ❌ Intuitive eating is the ONLY way to recover ❌ You MUST follow a specific protocol ❌ There's a "proven recovery formula" that works for everyone ❌ Specific techniques are the answer for all people Recovery isn't one-size-fits-all. It's not a linear path. It's not a checklist. It's deeply personal, deeply individual, and it requires way more than just a strategy. YOUR HOMEWORK: EXCAVATE YOUR BELIEFS Here's your one tangible action. Sit down with a journal and answer these questions: ✍️ What are 3 beliefs I have about myself, my body, or my eating disorder? ✍️ For each belief, ask: Is this true? Or is this my eating disorder talking? ✍️ What is the story I've been telling myself that's keeping me stuck in this old identity? And here's the big one: ✍️ Who would I be without this story? Who am I BECOMING? Get really honest with yourself. Excavate those beliefs. Challenge them. Que

When my therapist first told me to start journaling as part of my recovery practice, I literally laughed in her face. Journaling? Like... affirmations? I didn't believe that writing in a notebook would help me recover from my eating disorder. It seemed too simple. Too basic. Too... pointless. But sis, I was so wrong. Journaling didn't just help me recover. It actually saved my life. And if fear is keeping you stuck in restrictive behaviors right now—if you're terrified to recover because you're not sure who you'll be without your eating disorder—then you need to hear this. In this episode, I'm breaking down the 7 science-backed benefits of journaling that transformed my recovery and why this simple practice might be the missing piece in yours. We live in a culture of information overload—endless scrolling, constant content, comparison on every platform. But what if instead of consuming more, you need to process what's already in your mind? According to the National Institute of Health, 26% of adults suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder. Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness. And yet, only 8% of the world population keeps a journal. It's time to go back to the basics. It's time to slow down. It's time to give your brain the space it needs to heal. In this episode, you'll discover: Why I laughed when my therapist suggested journaling (and why I was so wrong) The shocking statistics about mental health and why we need to process, not just consume 7 powerful benefits of journaling in eating disorder recovery (backed by science) How journaling reduces anxiety and depression while boosting your immune system Why getting thoughts OUT of your mind is critical for cognitive processing How writing promotes healing, acceptance, and actually changes your brain The way I used journaling to replace negative coping mechanisms with positive ones How journaling gives you reset, redirection, and compassion for your journey Why reflecting on your progress through old journals sparks hope and momentum Practical tips on how to start journaling TODAY (no fancy notebook required) If you've been stuck, if you've been overwhelmed by the thoughts in your mind, if you don't know where to go next—this episode is your permission to start simple. Start small. Start today. Journaling changed my life. And it can change yours too. KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "When my therapist told me years ago to start journaling as part of a personal recovery practice, I believe I actually laughed in her face. I think I said, 'About what? Like affirmations?' I didn't even believe that journaling would help me recover from my eating disorder. But I was wrong." 💛 "It's time that we go back to the basics in order to heal our bodies. It's time that we stop just ingesting all of this content and information causing us to hate our lives, hate our bodies, draw closer to our disordered behaviors and sit miserable in comparison." 💛 "How do you expect to find freedom from an eating disorder or an unhealthy relationship with food if you're not getting any of that out of your mind? Journaling allows you to get out what is going in." 💛 "When you write down positive things over and over and over, it allows you to see patterns. It actually allows you to believe or to start believing what it is you're writing." 💛 "Maybe you need to get it out. Maybe you need to do exactly what I did: 'I hate this freaking snack right now. I hate that I have to sit here and eat it. I hate that I'm so scared to gain weight, and yet I'm doing the thing anyways because I know on the opposite side of this action one day I'm gonna wake up free.'" 💛 "How are you gonna remember the hard days if you don't get out the hard thing? How are you gonna remember the small wins that feel massive to you in the moment, five years from now, a month from now? Journaling helps you process." 💛 "There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside of you." - Maya Angelou THE SHOCKING STATISTICS YOU NEED TO KNOW 📊 Only 8% of the world population keeps a journal 📊 Only 22% of people have journaled in their lifetime 📊 26% of adults 18+ suffer from a diagnosable mental disorder (that's 1 in 4 adults) 📊 Eating disorders have the highest mortality rate of any mental illness 📊 Half of Americans will experience a mental illness in their lifetime 📊 4.5 million kids live with anxiety disorders The takeaway? We need to slow down as a culture. Instead of this flux of information overload, we need to give our brains time to PROCESS. We need grace to weed through all the things, filter out all the things, and process our thoughts and feelings about our lives—much less about our bodies and our relationship with food. THE 7 SCIENCE-BACKED BENEFITS OF JOURNALING IN ED RECOVERY BENEFIT #1: Reduces Anxiety and Depression, Increases Optimism Journaling boosts your immune system and researchers have shown improved organ function simply from journaling. Yes, ORGAN FUNCTION. Your body heals when you give your mind space to process. BENEFIT #2: Increased Cognitive Processing Journaling allows you to get OUT what is going IN. All the voices telling you you're not good enough, not small enough—all those beliefs you've been telling yourself over and over. How do you expect to find freedom if you're not getting any of that out of your mind? BENEFIT #3: Promotes Healing and Acceptance Writing is tranquil. Writing is a healing practice. When you write, you read. This creates improved memory function. When you write down positive things over and over, it allows you to see patterns. It actually allows you to START BELIEVING what you're writing. BENEFIT #4: Calms the Brain and Body This leads to stress resilience, allowing you to leverage writing versus going to negative coping mechanisms. When I was in the worst of the worst with my anorexia, every single time I felt like I wanted to over-exercise or restrict food, I would replace that with journaling. Example: "Let me go get my snack, and then after my snack, I'm gonna sit down and journal and get out the thoughts in my mind. Maybe I'll write: 'I hate this freaking snack right now. I hate that I have to sit here and eat it. I hate that I'm so scared to gain weight, and yet I'm doing the thing anyways because I know on the opposite side of this action one day I'm gonna wake up free.'" It allows your brain to be calm. It allows your body to be at peace. BENEFIT #5: Gives You Reset and Redirection Journaling creates space and distance from the things you're thinking about, and it allows you time to reframe, reset, and redirect. As you're writing, you're thinking about what you're writing. And if you don't spend time thinking about what you're thinking about, how are you gonna make a change? How are you gonna show up differently? BENEFIT #6: Practice Compassion and Gratitude When you're listing what you have overcome, what you've accomplished, what you're grateful for—this actually helps give you hope during the hard. It helps you process all that you have done. How are you gonna remember the small wins that feel massive to you in the moment, five years from now, a month from now? Journaling helps you process. BENEFIT #7: Helps You Reflect and Recover You can go back and read your journal. You can go back and read your journey. On the hard days, you can go back to the inspirational things and say, "You know what? Today might feel hard. Today might suck. But last week, look at this win I had." That gives you motivation, momentum, and it sparks your ability to want to keep going. It shows your progress. WHAT JOURNALING DOES FOR YOUR BRAIN Journaling allows you to develop what is called a coherent narrative. This simply means you can take the experiences and events in your life and look at them almost as a third party. This is a very holistic practice. As you're getting these thoughts out on the page, as you're writing your story out, you can sit with it and say, "How would I view this if I was reading this as a novel? Or if this was a page from my friend's notebook?" Instead of judging yourself in the journey, it allows you to develop a new and true voice. Journaling is about: ✨ Self-discovery ✨ Self-love ✨ Processing emotions ✨ Identifying your triggers and stressors ✨ Gaining confidence in yourself ✨ Self-monitoring and self-accountability HOW TO START JOURNALING TODAY Start small. Start today. Find a cute blank notebook (or just a plain one—it doesn't have to be fancy). Take 5 minutes today and in the days to come to sit with YOU. Journal prompts to get you started: ✍️ What are you thinking about right now? ✍️ What thoughts come up? ✍️ What fears come up? ✍️ What are your daily intentions today? ✍️ Talk to God. Release those negative feelings. ✍️ Write about your truths. Write about where you want to go. ✍️ Write some things you're grateful for. ✍️ Write about how hard it is right now. ✍️ Write a letter to someone—or to yourself (past self, future self). ✍️ Write your Best Self statement. Morning journaling: Sets your day and gives you positive intent before your eating disorder brain clouds it. You can say, "Today, this is what I'm planning to do. This is what's on the agenda. This is my positive intent to do the right thing before that voice inside my head tells me not to." Night journaling: Promotes more restful sleep and allows you to process all you've done. It even allows you to get out shame, unforgiveness, or negative feelings. There's no right way. That's the fun thing. Just start. A PERSONAL NOTE FROM LINDSEY I still have all of my journals from my years of recovery. And today it is quite amazing to look back and reflect and read my journals. I can actually remember the feelings of writing on the pages from 15+ y

Let me guess. It's a new year, and you're supposed to feel motivated. Excited. Ready for a fresh start. But instead? You just feel tired. Tired of being tired. Tired of trying. Tired of feeling like you're starting over AGAIN with your eating disorder recovery. Everywhere you look, you're being bombarded with "new year, new you" messages. Detoxes. Transformation challenges. Fresh starts. Clean slates. And if you're in ED recovery, you know exactly what that pressure feels like—and how triggering it is. Here's what I need you to hear: A calendar flipping to January 1st doesn't magically fix anything. But there IS one emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell. And it's probably not what you think. In this raw, no-BS episode, I'm getting provocative, confrontational, and real with you about the power of frustration—and why being absolutely sick and tired of yourself and your eating disorder might be the best thing that could happen to your recovery. This isn't your typical "be kind to yourself" recovery talk. This is me calling you out with love, getting you MAD, and helping you channel that anger into the fuel you need to actually change. In this episode, you'll discover: Why "new year, new you" is toxic garbage (especially in ED recovery) The ONE emotion that will actually get you out of ED hell (hint: it's frustration) Why feeling "sick of yourself" isn't weakness—it's readiness My personal story of how I had to get ANGRY with myself to finally stop playing games with recovery What your eating disorder has actually taken from you over the years (and how many more years you're going to let it take) 3 powerful action steps to channel your frustration: plate-throwing, journaling prompts, and the anger letter The raw, unfiltered reality of what recovery actually takes (no sugarcoating) Why you need to stop negotiating with your ED and start getting pissed off enough to do something different If you're done playing victim to your own story. If you're sick of half-assing your recovery. If you're ready to get FRUSTRATED enough to finally take action—this episode is for you. Let's go. 🔥 KEY QUOTES FROM THIS EPISODE 💛 "It won't be a new year that brings anything new or better into your life. It will be YOU. And specifically, it will be you getting so absolutely frustrated, so fed up, so DONE with spending one more day entrenched in ED-ville that you finally say, 'Enough.'" 💛 "That frustration? That's not weakness. That's readiness. Frustration is your body and your soul screaming at you, 'WE ARE DONE WITH THIS.'" 💛 "I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face. I had to get angry to change." 💛 "What has the eating disorder taken from you? Not just this year. But over the YEARS. How many holidays has it ruined? How many relationships has it cost you? How much energy have you wasted? How many dreams have you put on hold?" 💛 "The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. And it will keep taking until you decide you're not giving it anything else." 💛 "You don't need a new year to change your life. You need to get so sick of yourself and your eating disorder that you finally decide enough is enough." 💛 "Recovery is not a 'new year, new you' situation. It's not a 30-day challenge. It's not a quick fix. It's not pretty. It's not Instagram-worthy. And it's definitely not easy." THE TRUTH ABOUT "NEW YEAR, NEW YOU" Let's call it what it is: the "new year, new you" message is toxic garbage. Especially in diet culture. Especially for women. And ESPECIALLY for women in eating disorder recovery. Right now, you're being sold the lie that January 1st is some magical portal where everything changes. You're seeing: Detox teas Meal plans Fitness challenges Before-and-after pictures "Fresh start" messaging everywhere For someone in recovery? That's a minefield. The eating disorder LOVES a fresh start. It loves rules. It loves restrictions. It loves the promise of control disguised as "health" and "wellness." But here's the truth: It won't be a new year that brings change. It will be YOU getting so frustrated that you refuse to spend one more day living like this. WHY FRUSTRATION IS YOUR FUEL ( NOT A PROBLEM) You're frustrated that: You're still here, still struggling, still stuck Another year has passed and you're not where you thought you'd be Recovery feels so hard You're missing out on life because you're too wrapped up in food, body, and control Here's what you need to hear: That frustration is not weakness. That's READINESS. Frustration is your body and soul screaming, "WE ARE DONE WITH THIS." It's the part of you that knows you were made for more. It's the part that's sick of the lies, sick of the exhaustion, sick of playing small. When you tap into that frustration—when you really let yourself FEEL how angry you are about what this eating disorder has taken from you—that becomes your fuel. That becomes the fire that drives you to actually change. MY STORY: THE MOMENT I GOT ANGRY ENOUGH TO CHANGE I was in treatment. I had a treatment team. I had a meal plan. My goal for that year was to gain 40 pounds. FORTY. And I knew that. I agreed to it. I said I was all in. But I was lying. To them. To myself. To God. I was pushing off meals. I was "cheating" on my treatment team. I was still counting calories in my head even though I knew better. I was doing the bare minimum and calling it recovery. I was playing the game without actually playing to win. And one day, I just caught myself. I looked at myself in the mirror and thought, "Who even are you? What are you doing? You KNOW what you need to do. You KNOW what recovery requires. And you're still choosing this?" I got angry. Not at my body. Not at food. At MYSELF. At my junk. At my excuses. At my half-hearted effort. I got sick of myself. Sick of my own BS. Sick of wasting time pretending I was recovering when I was really just maintaining my eating disorder with a smile on my face. THAT was the turning point. Not a new year. Not a motivational quote. Just me, getting so absolutely fed up that I finally decided to stop playing games. I had to get angry to change. And sis, so do you. WHAT HAS YOUR EATING DISORDER TAKEN FROM YOU? It's time to get uncomfortable. I need you to actually sit with this. I need you to get honest. I need you to get FRUSTRATED. What has the eating disorder taken from you over the YEARS? ❌ How many holidays has it ruined? ❌ How many family gatherings did you obsess over food instead of enjoying people? ❌ How many birthdays did you skip because you couldn't handle the cake? ❌ How many vacations did you ruin because you were too busy calculating, controlling, restricting? ❌ How many relationships has it cost you? ❌ How many friendships have you lost because you isolated yourself? ❌ How many moments with your kids did you miss because you were too exhausted, too distracted, too consumed? ❌ How much MONEY have you spent? (Diet programs, gym memberships, doctors, treatment, trying to "fix" yourself) ❌ How much ENERGY have you wasted? (Hours thinking about food, obsessing over your body, planning meals, beating yourself up) ❌ How many DREAMS have you put on hold? (The career, the trip, the LIFE you wanted—all sitting on the back burner) And how many more years are you going to let it take? 3 POWERFUL EXERCISES TO CHANNEL YOUR FRUSTRATION Don't just sit in the frustration. USE it. Channel it. Let it fuel you into action. EXERCISE 1: The Plate-Throwing Exercise (Optional but Therapeutic) If you need a physical release—go to a thrift store. Buy some cheap plates. Take them somewhere safe (garage, backyard). And throw them. Smash them. Let out every ounce of anger you have at this eating disorder. Let out every bit of frustration at yourself for staying stuck. (Be safe. Wear shoes. Don't hurt yourself. But let yourself FEEL the rage.) EXERCISE 2: The "What ED Has Taken" Journal Prompts Get a journal and answer these: ✍️ How many holidays has my eating disorder ruined? ✍️ How many relationships has it cost me? ✍️ How many moments with my kids/family/friends have I missed? ✍️ How much money have I spent trying to fix this while refusing to fully commit? ✍️ How much energy have I wasted obsessing over food and my body? ✍️ What dreams have I put on hold because the ED convinced me I wasn't ready? ✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I stay here? ✍️ What does my life look like in 5 years if I ACTUALLY recover? Write it all out. Don't hold back. Let yourself see the cost. Let yourself get MAD. EXERCISE 3: The Anger Letter Write a letter to your eating disorder. Tell it exactly what you think. Tell it what it's stolen from you. Tell it that you're done. That you're not doing this anymore. That you're taking your life back. Then? Burn it. Rip it up. Throw it away. Symbolically release it. THE RAW REALITY: WHAT RECOVERY ACTUALLY TAKES Hope is beautiful. But you also need to know what this is going to require. Recovery is NOT: ❌ A "new year, new you" situation ❌ A 30-day challenge ❌ A quick fix ❌ Pretty or Instagram-worthy ❌ Easy Here's what recovery ACTUALLY takes: ✅ Showing up when you don't feel like it ✅ Eating the meal even when the ED voice is screaming at you not to ✅ Sitting with discomfort without numbing it ✅ Asking for help when you'd rather isolate ✅ Being honest with your treatment team even when you're ashamed ✅ Gaining weight if that's what your body needs (yes, I said it) ✅ Letting go of control, perfectionism, and the idea you can do this halfway ✅ CONSISTENCY—day after day after day, even when it's boring or hard ✅ Getting so frustrated that you stop negotiating with the ED, stop bargaining, stop playing games The eating disorder will take as much as you let it. It will keep taking until YOU decide you're not giving it anything else. READY TO STOP PLAYING GAMES? WORK WITH ME IN 2026 If you're sitting here think