Art of Spousing

What makes a marriage feel emotionally safe?In this episode of The Art of Spousing, James and Lisa talk about one of the most important foundations of a healthy marriage: emotional safety. Because most couples do not struggle because they do not love each other. They struggle because it does not always feel safe to share what is really happening inside.Together, they unpack seven practical ways to create a safer emotional environment in your marriage. They walk through three things couples need to avoid criticism, contempt, and defensiveness and four practices that help emotional intimacy grow: forgiveness, validation, compromise, and seeking outside help when needed.This conversation is honest, practical, and deeply encouraging for couples who want to move from surface level interaction to deeper connection. Whether your marriage feels tense, disconnected, or simply ready for a healthier rhythm, this episode will help you take one intentional step toward greater trust, vulnerability, and closeness.What You’ll Learn / Key PointsWhy emotional safety is essential for emotional intimacy in marriageHow criticism quietly erodes trust and connectionThe difference between being a problem identifier and a problem solverWhy empathy matters even when you do not fully agreeHow contempt damages respect and creates distanceWhy defensiveness blocks healing and honest communicationHow forgiveness restores connection and rebuilds safetyWhy validating feelings does not mean agreeing with everythingHow compromise helps couples move toward each other with maturityWhen seeking counseling or coaching is wise, not a sign of failureSimple ways to create communication non-negotiables in your marriageHow small intentional practices help your marriage live with clarity, lead with love, and last with strengthLinks & Resources:Marriage Intensive (reset, rebuild, find common ground)Schedule a call with James & LisaThe Collective (online community for marriage rhythms)Weekly Practice Email (sent every Monday)5 Voices Resources:Take a FREE 5 Voices Assessment5 Voices for Marriage CourseConnect With Us:Instagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more married couples!Disclaimer: Show notes may contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission that helps keep the mics on!

Have you ever noticed how some couples just radiate joy while others seem to carry a cloud of negativity wherever they go? After 33 years of marriage, James and Lisa have discovered that the difference often comes down to one powerful choice: the intentional decision to bring light instead of gloom into your marriage.In this episode, they dive deep into what it really means to cultivate positivity in marriage. This isn't about faking happiness or pretending everything's perfect—it's about the daily practice of choosing to focus on what's right, building emotional safety, and creating an atmosphere where both spouses can thrive. You'll learn practical tools for positive attribution, the science behind gratitude, and how to rewire your brain to notice the good in your relationship.Key Points You'll Learn:• Why positivity is a practice, not a personality trait • How your reticular activating system affects what you notice in your marriage • The power of positive attribution and assuming the best about your spouse's intentions • How to create emotional safety that allows for vulnerability without fear • The 5:1 ratio of positive to negative interactions needed for healthy marriages • Three practical gratitude exercises to transform your marriage atmosphere • Why gratitude is the ultimate mindset reset button • How to be your spouse's biggest cheerleader and personal championLinks & Resources:Marriage Intensive (reset, rebuild, find common ground)Schedule a call with James & LisaThe Collective (online community for marriage rhythms)Weekly Practice Email (sent every Monday)5 Voices Resources:Take a FREE 5 Voices Assessment5 Voices for Marriage CoursePrevious Episodes:Think Together, Not Alike: How to Make Decisions as a TeamUnleashing the Power of Grace: Strengthen Your Marriage Through HumilityConnect With Us:Instagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more married couples!Disclaimer: Show notes may contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission that helps keep the mics on!

In Part 2 of our series on the essential habits of a healthy marriage, we’re focusing on what it looks like to stop living by default and start building your relationship by design. We talk about consistency over perfection (not perfectly, but persistently), and we share practical ways to create momentum—plus a fun real-life story about “floating shelves” that became shorthand for turning tension.What You’ll Learn (Key Takeaways)Why a “masterpiece marriage” doesn’t just happen—it’s shaped with intentionHow to stop running your relationship on autopilot and start building day by day, choice by choiceWhy couples grow best when they grow consistently (not perfectly, but persistently)How shared humor and “inside jokes” can turn frustrating moments into connection pointsA simple way to think about habits as tools for your toolbelt—practical, repeatable, and usable in real lifeHow to take the next step if you want ongoing support and structure for growthLinks & Resources:Marriage Intensive (reset, rebuild, find common ground)Schedule a call with James & LisaThe Collective (online community for marriage rhythms)Weekly Practice Email (sent every Monday)5 Voices Resources:Take a FREE 5 Voices Assessment5 Voices for Marriage CoursePrevious Episodes:Tickling the Funny Bone: How Humor Helps Foster a Healthy MarriageFrom “I Do” to “We Still Do”: Building a Marriage on Layers of CommitmentConnect With UsInstagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & ReviewIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more married couples!DisclaimerShow notes may contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we will earn a small commission that helps us keep the mics on.

A healthy marriage doesn’t happen on accident—it’s built with intention, practice, and a few simple rhythms that strengthen connection over time. In this episode, James and Lisa introduce four foundational habits that have shaped their marriage, their coaching, and the couples they’ve served for years. You’ll walk away with practical next steps you can start this week—especially around Habit 1 (Love God First) and Habit 2 (Love & Respect).Key Points / What You’ll LearnWhy the new year is a natural “reset” for your marriage—not an overhaul, but a recalibrationThe four habits of a healthy marriage (and why they’re simple, biblical, and practical)Habit 1: Love God First—how spiritual alignment becomes the foundation your marriage draws strength fromWhy loving God first is a daily orientation, not a one-time decision or a religious checkboxPractical ways to build spiritual rhythms together (even with busy schedules)Habit 2: Love & Respect—how small, consistent gestures shape the emotional culture of your marriageWhy unmet core needs often sit underneath conflict—and how love/respect gives you language for what’s really happeningA direct challenge for husbands (and wives): what did you do while pursuing your spouse that you’ve stopped doing?Simple “start this week” actions that create momentum over timeAction Steps for This WeekChoose one spiritual practice (worship, prayer, scripture, church) and commit to it together this week.Ask each other: “What is one way I can show you love or respect this week?” Then follow through.Think of one small pursuit habit you used to do early on (a note, a text, opening the door, favorite coffee) and bring it back.Links & Resources Mentioned (and helpful defaults)Marriage Intensive (reset, rebuild, find common ground)Schedule a call with James & LisaThe Collective (online community for marriage rhythms)Weekly Practice Email (sent every Monday)Marriage devotional: Marriage Moments: Devotions to Realign and Renew (Jeff & Ashley Hickman at jeffandashley@mess2miracle.com)Previous Episodes:Hummingbirds, Vultures, and the Mindset That Can Change Your MarriageUs in Mind: How Changing Your Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage With Ted Lowe5 Voices Resources:Take a FREE 5 Voices Assessment5 Voices for Marriage CourseConnect With UsInstagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & ReviewIf you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more married couples!DisclaimerShow notes may contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we will earn a small commission that helps us keep the mics on.

In this episode, James and Lisa dive into the Five Mindset Killers that can quietly sabotage your marriage—distortion, discouragement, doubt, distraction, and division. Based on John Gordon’s framework, they unpack how these "5 Ds" show up in real relationships and what to do when they start pulling you into emotional and spiritual drift. Learn how to recognize the signs early, interrupt the cycle, and reset your mindset through presence, unity, and the life-giving power of gratitude. Plus, hear about The Collective—a brand new way to grow your marriage in rhythm all year long!What You'll Learn / Key Points:The Five D’s that pull your mindset—and marriage—into unhealthy patterns:Distortion (twisted perceptions)Discouragement (emotional drain)Doubt (relational uncertainty)Distraction (emotional avoidance)Division (emotional disconnection)How to interrupt the downward spiral and reset your mindset before disconnection sets in.Real-life examples from James & Lisa’s marriage—like the “pillow on the floor” moment—and how catching distortion can shift the whole tone.What each “D” needs to be healed:Clarity for distortionEncouragement for discouragementTruth for doubtPresence for distractionUnity for divisionWhy gratitude is the ultimate mindset reset and the secret weapon to reframe even hard seasons.A sneak peek at The Collective, their new year-round community to help couples grow together in rhythm.Links & Resources:🌱 Join The Collective: aos-collective.com — Join as a Founding Member!🎧 Previous Episodes Mentioned:Ep. 71: Hummingbirds, Vultures, and the Mindset That Can Change Your MarriageEp. 41: The Lost Art of Gratitude in Marriage: An Essential Tool for a Thriving RelationshipEp. 2 Shifting Gears for Communication5 Voices:Take a FREE 5 Voices Assessment5 Voices for Marriage CourseConnect with Us:Instagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more married couples!DISCLAIMER: Show Notes may contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission that helps keep the mics on!

What if the greatest influence on your marriage isn’t your circumstances, your history, or even your differences—but your mindset?In this relaunch episode of The Art of Spousing, James and Lisa return with a powerful conversation about growth mindset vs. fixed mindset in marriage. Using the vivid illustration of hummingbirds and vultures, they explore how two people can walk through the same season yet experience it completely differently—based solely on what they’re looking for.You’ll hear honest stories, biblical wisdom, and practical tools that help couples move from “this is just how we are” to “God is still at work here.” This episode also marks the launch of The Art of Spousing Collective, a new online community designed to help couples grow consistently all year long.If you want this year to be marked by greater connection, emotional maturity, and shared growth, this conversation sets the foundation.What You’ll Learn / Key TakeawaysWhy how you think determines how you relate in marriageThe difference between growth mindset and fixed mindset—and how each quietly shapes your relationshipHow the hummingbird vs. vulture illustration reveals what you’re training yourself to seeWhy many couples stop growing even when growth is still possibleHow “not yet” language creates momentum instead of discouragementWhy small, consistent decisions matter more than big emotional momentsHow curiosity fuels intimacy—and assumptions create distanceThe biblical foundation for mindset renewal (Romans 12:2)Why marriage requires growing with multiple versions of your spouse over timeHow a growth mindset honors God, the covenant, and the person you promised your life toLinks & Resources:Join The Art of Spousing Collective (Founding Members Open): 👉 https://aos-collective.comEmail Us: 👉 hello@artofspousing.comConnect With Us:Instagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & Review: If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review.Your feedback helps us reach more couples and continue building marriages that grow with intention.DISCLAIMER: Show notes may contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission that helps keep the mics on.

In this deeply practical and insightful episode, James and Lisa unpack a powerful diagnostic tool from GiANT called the Peace Index. This framework helps individuals—and couples—measure five key areas that influence internal wellbeing: purpose, place, provision, personal health, and people. With honest reflection, engaging stories, and easy-to-use language, this episode equips you to recognize what’s really going on beneath the surface and take intentional steps toward renewed peace in your life and marriage.Whether you're feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or just want to grow more aware together, this episode offers clarity, connection, and tangible next steps.Resources Mentioned in This Episode:The Peace Index Visual Tool (by GiANT)Marriage Reboot Coaching with James & LisaBook: The Purpose Formula by Jessica RimmerRelated Episodes:Ep 64 – The Five Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in MarriageEp 19 – The Tension Is Real: Money Stress in MarriageEp 7 – Know Yourself to Lead YourselfEp 21 – The Power of a Pro-Marriage CollectiveConnect with Us:Instagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.liveleadlast.comSubscribe & Review:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.DISCLAIMER:Show Notes contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission. Thanks for supporting the work that helps us keep the mics on!

In this heart-opening episode, James and Lisa share exciting updates—including the relaunch of the Live Lead Last podcast—and how launching something new inevitably impacts marriage. They introduce the Change Equation, a powerful visual tool from GiANT that explains why real change happens—or doesn’t—in relationships. Through vulnerable personal stories and practical insights, they walk you through how to overcome resistance together using vision, first steps, and emotional clarity. If your marriage feels stuck or off-track, this episode will help you reconnect and move forward with purpose.Resources Mentioned in this Episode:Marriage Reboot CoachingLive Lead Last Podcast (Launching June 4)Free Five Voices AssessmentVoices 25 Conference – Oklahoma CityChange Equation Visual ToolRelated Episodes:Ep 64 – The Five Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in MarriageEp 59 – Navigating the In-Between Seasons of Marriage!Ep 29 – Us in Mind: How Changing Your  Thoughts Can Change Your Marriage With Ted LoweEp 7 – The Gap Between Here and ThereConnect with Us:Instagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & Review:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.DISCLAIMER:Show Notes contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission—thank you for supporting the mission of Art of Spousing!

Commitment in marriage is so much deeper than just staying under the same roof. In this episode of The Art of Spousing, James and Lisa Duvall explore what it really means to build a lifelong marriage rooted in intentional, daily choices. They unpack the four layers of commitment—personal, moral, spiritual, and structural—and share how couples can move from surviving to thriving, even when seasons get tough. You'll also hear real stories, biblical encouragement, and practical tools you can start using today to strengthen your "we still do."Whether you're newlyweds or seasoned partners, this conversation will help you cultivate a marriage that lasts — and inspires.Resources Mentioned in This Episode:Marriage Reboot Coaching Experience — 3 months of intensive coaching designed to help you move from surviving to thriving FREE 30-minute Discovery Call — Schedule with James and Lisa hereRelated Episodes:Four Choices to a Masterpiece Marriage with Don and Joy BrayHow to Strengthen Your Marriage by Building on Common GroundPractising the Art of SpousingThe Gap Between Here and There(Find these episodes wherever you listen to The Art of Spousing!)Connect with Us:📸 Instagram: @artofspousing🌐 Website: www.artofspousing.comWe love hearing from you! DM us your thoughts or questions — and if today's episode encouraged you, please share it with someone who needs it.Subscribe & Review:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review! Your feedback helps us reach more couples who are ready to build strong, resilient, Christ-centered marriages.DISCLAIMER: Some show notes contain affiliate links. If you click and make a purchase, we may earn a small commission — at no extra cost to you. It helps us keep bringing you free content to strengthen your marriage!

In this heartwarming and practical episode of Art of Spousing, James and Lisa break down one of the most transformative tools for marriage communication: The Communication Code. Ever found yourself trying to be helpful, only to realize your spouse needed something entirely different? This episode will help you stop the cycle of misfires and start connecting more deeply.You’ll learn how to use five powerful communication codes—Celebrate, Care, Clarify, Collaborate, and Critique—to improve emotional safety, reduce frustration, and build deeper intimacy. Packed with relatable stories (including a hilarious miscommunication over “small smart choices”) and powerful insights, this episode equips couples to decode not just what’s being said—but how it’s meant to be received.Whether you're a problem-solver or a feeler, a planner or a processor, this episode will help you and your spouse communicate with greater grace, clarity, and unity.Resources Mentioned in This Episode:Free Communication Code Assessment Understand your top two default communication styles—and how they impact your marriage.Free The Five Voices Assessment Learn your leadership voice and how it affects how you give and receive communication.Know Yourself to Lead Yourself Tool Understand how your tendencies shape your relational patterns.Provisional Plan Promise Tool Use this tool to reduce planning misfires and clarify whether you’re brainstorming, planning, or committing.Marriage Reboot Coaching A 3-month intentional journey for couples seeking breakthrough, clarity, and renewed connection. artofspousing.com/coaching or schedule a Discovery Call with James and Lisa,Related Episodes:Practising the Art of SpousingLove: Defining the Three EssentialsThe Gap Between the Event and the ResponseBuilding on Common GroundConnect with Us:Instagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & Review:If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave us a review. Your encouragement helps us reach more couples who are ready to build intentional, Christ-centered marriages.

Let’s face it—married life can be a wild ride. Between never-ending to-do lists, navigating seasons of grief, and the everyday chaos of family life, it’s easy to lose sight of the fun. But what if we told you that learning to laugh together might just be one of the most powerful tools you have to build connection, reduce stress, and keep your love vibrant?In this episode, we explore why humor isn’t just a “nice-to-have” in marriage—it’s essential. We’ll unpack the four types of humor, dive into what science and Scripture say about laughter, and share stories (like Lisa’s “this is what I do” southern cooking moment and James’ infamous floating shelf fail) that show how humor can bond us… or blow up in our face. We also talk about what not to joke about, how timing and tone matter, and how to bring more intentional joy into your relationship—without crossing emotional lines.Whether your marriage feels light and playful or a little dried up like that overcooked kielbasa (you’ll get it when you listen), this episode will inspire you to embrace laughter as a pathway to intimacy.Key TakeawaysLaughter builds connection and reduces stress—it literally rewires your brain with bonding hormones like oxytocin.Know your humor style—and your spouse’s. Healthy humor (like affiliative and self-enhancing) draws you closer; aggressive or self-defeating humor can harm connection.Create “callbacks” or inside jokes. They build emotional intimacy and give you a shared language of joy.Tone and timing are everything. A well-placed joke can heal, but the wrong moment can wound.Honor your spouse’s sensitivities. Don’t joke to make a point. Be sensitive and lighthearted—it's not either/or.Don't just hope for fun—plan it. Schedule laughter through games, funny shows, silly traditions, or storytelling.Resources Mentioned in This EpisodeMarriage Reboot – Our two-day coaching intensive plus 3 months of intentional follow-up to help couples move from surviving to thriving. Learn more at artofspousing.com/coachingSchedule a a Marriage Reboot Discovery CallTools Referenced:Know Yourself to Lead Yourself – understanding your humor style and voice weapon systems5 Voices – using humor in ways that align with your personalityCheckpoints – use humor to shift tension, but with permission🎧 Related EpisodesThe 5 Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in MarriageNavigating Three Types of Tension in MarriageMe Awareness and We Awareness📲 Connect with UsInstagram: @artofspousingWebsite: www.artofspousing.comJoin the Marriage Practice Email: Text AOS to 66866 for weekly encouragement and tools💬 Subscribe & ReviewIf you enjoyed this episode, we’d love it if you subscribed, left a review, and shared it with another couple who needs a little more laughter in their lives. Your support helps us reach more couples who are ready to build a strong, Christ-centered, joy-filled marriage.And remember—if you're in a tough season, and laughter feels far off, there is hope. Don’t just survive—start practicing the art of spousing today. 💛🎙️

Decision-making is a daily reality in marriage—sometimes small (what’s for dinner?) and sometimes huge (where do we live?). But if we’re not intentional, making decisions together can turn into a battleground or a passive-aggressive standoff.In this episode, we explore how to make decisions as a team, even when you and your spouse see things differently. We’ll walk through practical tools to navigate different decision-making styles, how to build a bridge between future-oriented and present-oriented spouses, and how to seek unity even when you disagree. You’ll also hear some of our personal stories (including Lisa’s hilarious “no snakes or orange shag carpet” church move requirements) and biblical wisdom to help you grow in this crucial area of marriage.Key Takeaways: ✅ Biblical unity isn’t about thinking alike—it’s about thinking together. ✅ Identify your decision-making style and learn how to complement each other. ✅ Build a bridge between your perspectives instead of dragging your spouse across the gap. ✅ When you don’t see eye to eye, focus on listening, compromise, and trust. ✅ Who gets the final say? We unpack biblical leadership and servant-hearted decision-making.By the end of this episode, you’ll have practical strategies to make decisions together in a way that strengthens—not stresses—your marriage.Resources Mentioned in This Episode:FREE Five Voices Assessment (to identify if you are more future- or present-oriented) – Marriage Reboot – A two-day coaching experience to bring clarity and unity to your marriage. Learn More HereRelated Episodes:🎧 The Five Voices: Unlocking Better Communication in Marriage🎧 Building Momentum in Marriage: The Flywheel Effect 🎧 Conflict: The Opportunity for Unity  Connect with Us:📸 Instagram: @artofspousing 🌐 Website: www.artofspousing.com💌 Join our weekly Marriage Practice email for tools & encouragement: Text AOS to 66866Subscribe & Review:If you enjoyed this episode, we’d love for you to subscribe and leave a review! Your support helps us reach more couples who want to build strong, thriving marriages.Know a couple who could use this episode? Share it with them! 💛Until next time—keep practicing the art of spousing! 🎙️💍

Ever feel like you and your spouse are speaking two different languages? In this episode, we dive into The Five Voices—a powerful tool that helps you understand your unique communication style and how it interacts with your spouse’s. When you recognize your voice and your spouse’s, you can stop having the same frustrating conversations and start truly understanding each other.This episode will help you:✅ Identify your Foundational Voice (and your spouse’s!)✅ Understand why some conversations feel like a constant battle✅ Learn practical ways to use your voice to build unity instead of conflictIf you’ve ever wished for a user manual on marriage communication, this is it! Tune in, take the Five Voices Assessment (link below), and start speaking each other’s language.Resources Mentioned in This Episode:Take the Free Five Voices Assessment Marriage Reboot: One-on-One Coaching with James & LisaSign up for The Weekly Practice Email - Text AOS to 66866Related Episodes:🎧 Building Momentum in Marriage: The Flywheel Effect🎧 Breaking Through Communication Roadblocks🎧 Unleashing the Power of Grace: Strengthen Your Marriage Through HumilityConnect with Us:📷 Instagram: @artofspousing🌐 Website: www.artofspousing.comSubscribe & Review:If this episode helped you, we’d love for you to subscribe and leave a review! Your feedback helps more couples build strong, resilient marriages. And if you found this conversation valuable, share it with a friend who could use these insights too! ❤️Until next time, remember: A better me = A better we. 💙

This week, James and Lisa dive into a topic that affects every marriage: communication roadblocks. Whether you're struggling with distractions, misunderstandings, or emotional reactions, today’s episode is packed with practical tools and biblical wisdom to help you break through barriers and build a deeper connection with your spouse.Episode HighlightsWhy Communication is FoundationalCommunication is the heartbeat of a healthy marriage, influencing every other area of your relationship.Poor communication can lead to frustration, disconnection, and unresolved conflict—but with intentionality, you can transform it.5 Common Communication Roadblocks & How to Overcome ThemDistracted ListeningProblem: One or both spouses aren't fully present.Fix: Use the "Five Gears" framework to shift into the right gear for meaningful connection. Spend at least 10 minutes daily in “Gear 2” with no distractions.Biblical Insight: James 1:19—“Be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.”Assumptions & MisunderstandingsProblem: Believing you're a mind reader, leading to miscommunication.Fix: Use the “Impact and Intent” tool and avoid J.A.D.E. (Justify, Argue, Defend, Explain).Pro Tip: Practice the CLEAR Model—Clarify, Listen, Empathize, Ask, Respond.Emotional EscalationProblem: Letting emotions like anger or contempt take over.Fix: Manage the pause with E+R=O (Event + Response = Outcome). Respond with gentleness instead of reacting emotionally.Biblical Insight: Proverbs 15:1—“A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.”Avoiding or Controlling ConflictProblem: Stonewalling or dominating discussions.Fix: Name your feelings and set time to revisit the conversation if overwhelmed. Use the Platinum Rule: Treat your spouse how they want to be treated.Biblical Insight: Romans 12:18—“As far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”Lack of Appreciation and BalanceProblem: Conversations focus only on critiques.Fix: Adopt a 5:1 gratitude-to-critique ratio. Use tools like the Enneagram to foster empathy and celebrate your spouse’s strengths.Biblical Insight: 1 Thessalonians 5:11—“Encourage one another and build each other up.”Practical TakeawaysDedicate 10 minutes daily for distraction-free connection in “Gear 2.”Share five specific affirmations with your spouse this week.Tackle only one issue at a time during tough conversations.Resources & RecommendationsWeekly Practise: Get tools and encouragement straight to your inbox! Text AOS to 66866 to sign up.Episode Throwback:Shifting Gears for CommunicationEnneagram: The Secret to Understanding Your Marriage with Jeff and Beth McCordMore Than Your Number with Beth and Jeff McCordGet InvolvedIf you found this episode helpful:Share it with friends who might benefit!Leave us a review—it helps others find the show.Subscribe to ensure you never miss an episode.Work With Us:Marriage Reboot Discovery CallConnect With Us:Send Questions and Comments to: hello@artofspousing.comWebsite: artofspousing.comFB: artofspousingIG: @artofspousingJames IG: @thejamesduvallLisa IG: @lisaduvall

In this episode, James and Lisa reflect on the lessons learned from 2024 and share practical steps for designing a thriving marriage in 2025. From navigating challenges like caregiving and career transitions to building a vision for the future, this conversation will inspire and equip you to create a marriage filled with intention and growth.What You’ll Learn in This Episode:Reflect on the Past Year:Why pausing to look back can uncover valuable lessons for growth.Key questions to reflect on as a couple:What did you do well as a team in 2024?Where did you grow through challenges?How did you see God’s hand at work in your marriage?Cast a Vision for 2025:Shift from setting “to-do” goals to becoming the couple you want to be.Explore questions like:How do you want to show up for each other this year?What values will you prioritize together?Learn how choosing a shared “word of the year” can help you stay focused on your vision.Turn Vision into Action:Small, intentional steps can build a strong foundation for growth.Examples include:Scheduling regular date nights.Planning adventurous getaways.Practicing patience or gratitude daily.Let Go of What’s Holding You Back:Release habits, mindsets, or frustrations that don’t serve your marriage.Practical steps for “praying through” bitterness and creating space for new growth.Create Habits of Connection & Accountability:Simple ideas to stay connected:Quarterly marriage check-ins.Weekly highs-and-lows discussions.Celebrating small wins together.Key Resources Mentioned:Weekly Practise Email: Get marriage tips and exercises delivered to your inbox every Monday. Text AOS to 66866 to sign up.Marriage Reboot: Ready to invest deeply in your marriage? Learn about our transformative 2-day marriage coaching experience. Click here to schedule a call.Action Steps for This Week:Take 10 minutes to reflect on 2024 using the guided questions shared in this episode.Set a vision for your marriage in 2025 and choose a shared word to guide you.Identify one habit to let go of and one intentional step to take toward your vision.Share your 2025 word or goals with us on Instagram @artofspousing or email hello@artofspousing.com.Related Episodes:Hope Rising: 3 Ways to Invest in Your Marriage This YearThe Marriage Reboot: Reset, Rebuild & Find Common Ground With Greg and Julie GormanConnect with Us:  - Instagram: @artofspousing  - Website: www.artofspousing.com Subscribe & Review:  If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.Thank you for listening! We hope this conversation encourages you to embrace life’s seasons with grace and intentionality in your marriage. We’ll see you next time on the Art of Spousing podcast!

In this episode of Art of Spousing, James and Lisa give listeners a behind-the-scenes look at their creative process as they develop a new framework for marriage growth: The Flywheel of Momentum. They share five key priorities that, when practiced intentionally, create synergy and depth in a marriage. From foundational communication to fostering growth, this episode is packed with practical insights, engaging stories, and actionable tools to help your marriage thrive.Resources mentioned in this episode:- Marriage Reboot- The Collective- The Weekly Practise Newsletter- The Five Gears- The Communication Code by Jeremie Kubicek- Stay tuned for updates on the Art of Spousing Marriage Retreat, coming Fall 2025!Related Episodes:Unlocking the Secret Sauce of Lasting Marriages with 3 Key IngredientsSix Practises For Avoiding Complacency in Your MarriageThe Marriage Reboot: Reset, Rebuild & Find Common Ground With Greg and Julie GormanConnect with Us:  - Instagram: @artofspousing  - Website: www.artofspousing.com - Email Newsletter: Sign up HERE to get the latest podcast episodes delivered to your inbox!Subscribe & Review:  If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.Thank you for listening! We hope this conversation encourages you to embrace life’s seasons with grace and intentionality in your marriage. We’ll see you next time on the Art of Spousing podcast!Click here to view the episode transcript.

In today’s powerful episode, James and Lisa welcome Ray and Linda, a couple who overcame deep challenges in their marriage, including a rare and often misunderstood condition called Intimacy Anorexia (IA). Ray and Linda share how this condition impacted their marriage for decades, creating emotional distance and loneliness, even while they appeared outwardly successful. Through honest storytelling, they reveal how discovering IA transformed their relationship and brought lasting healing. Ray and Linda also provide insights for couples who may feel isolated, misunderstood, or stuck, and they offer hope that healing is possible.Resources mentioned in this episode:- Marriage Reboot Discovery Call- The Collective- The Weekly Practise Newsletter- Dr. Doug Weiss ResourcesIntimacy AnorexiaSin of WithholdingMarried and AloneRelated Episodes:From Infidelity to Intimacy: A Journey of Healing and Restoration with Travis & Adelle GrahamIntentional IntimacyConnect with Ray and Linda Raya:Linda@onepurposemarriage.comRay@onepurposemarriage.comConnect with Us:  - Instagram: @artofspousing  - Website: www.artofspousing.com - Email Newsletter: Sign up HERE to get the latest podcast episodes delivered to your inbox!Subscribe & Review:  If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.Thank you for listening! We hope this conversation encourages you to embrace life’s seasons with grace and intentionality in your marriage. We’ll see you next time on the Art of Spousing podcast!

In this episode, James and Lisa explore the concept of liminality—the “in-between” seasons of marriage where uncertainty reigns, and you’re not quite where you were, but not yet where you’re going. Whether you're in a major life transition, feeling stuck, or simply unsure of what's next, this episode offers practical advice to navigate these challenging yet transformative moments in your marriage with intention, patience, and grace. James and Lisa also share personal stories from their own liminal seasons and provide hope for couples in similar spaces, especially those facing seasons of deep pain and loss.Resources mentioned in this episode:- The Collective- The Weekly Practise NewsletterRelated Episodes:Jeremy & Kourtney Roseberry - Courageous Faith: Finding Strength in the Face of AdversityFrom Infidelity to Intimacy: A Journey of Healing and Restoration with Travis & Adelle GrahamNavigating Three Types of Tension in MarriageIntentional IntimacyConnect with Us:  - Instagram: @artofspousing  - Website: www.artofspousing.com - Email Newsletter: Sign up HERE to get the latest podcast episodes delivered to your inbox!Subscribe & Review:  If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.Thank you for listening! We hope this conversation encourages you to embrace life’s seasons with grace and intentionality in your marriage. We’ll see you next time on the Art of Spousing podcast!

In this episode, James and Lisa return after a few months break to kick off a new season! They take us on a journey through the whirlwind of life changes they’ve faced, from becoming "empty nesters" to James' major career shift and Lisa’s experience caring for her mother. Together, they unpack how they navigated this season of transitions, challenges, and blessings while fighting to maintain a strong connection in their marriage.Key Takeaways: 1. Major Life Transitions: James shares about stepping out of 30 years of vocational ministry to launch a new tech company. Lisa reflects on how they both approached this significant career shift, even as they anticipated becoming empty nesters.  2. Embracing Unexpected Changes: Just as they were settling into their new season, Lisa’s mother moved in with them due to a diagnosis of Lewy Body Dementia. The couple opens up about how this shift in their daily lives impacted their marriage and family dynamics.  3. Fighting for Connection: Despite the disruptions, they discuss how they stayed intentional about prioritizing each other, reclaiming moments of connection, and ensuring their relationship remained a priority amidst caregiving responsibilities.  4. The Importance of Community: They explore the vital role community played during this season, both in providing support and in the emotional challenges of feeling isolated.  5. Lessons Learned: From God’s provision to the power of community and being intentional about nurturing their marriage, James and Lisa share the key lessons they’ve learned through these past months.Resources mentioned in this episode:- The CollectiveNext Episode Teaser: Join James and Lisa next time as they teach the concept of "liminality." If you’re wondering what that means and how it applies to marriage, don’t miss the upcoming episode where they unpack this intriguing idea!Connect with Us:  - Instagram: @artofspousing  - Website: www.artofspousing.com - Email Newsletter: Sign up HERE to get the latest podcast episodes delivered to your inbox!Subscribe & Review:  If you enjoyed this episode, please subscribe and leave a review. Your feedback helps us reach more couples seeking to build strong, resilient marriages.Thank you for listening! We hope this conversation encourages you to embrace life’s seasons with grace and intentionality in your marriage. We’ll see you next time on the Art of Spousing podcast!

Merry Christmas, and welcome to the season four finale of the Art of Spousing Podcast!  As we wrap up another incredible season, we're grateful for the journey we've shared and excited for what Season 5 will bring. In this episode, we're diving into the heart of Christmas, exploring traditions and memories that make this season so special.We reminisce about our own Christmas experiences. We invite some of our  Season 4 guests back to share their heartwarming Christmas traditions. You'll hear:- Our Personal Memories: James reminisces about Christmas day at his grandparents' home, filled with music and laughter. Lisa shares a humorous childhood practice of sneakily unwrapping gifts and a heartwarming family tradition involving a special moon pie box.- Decorating the Tree: We hear from the Gormans about their delightful tree decorating ritual, complete with fun music and the three Christmas keys tradition.- Creative Gift Giving: Discover our family's unique tradition of creating riddles for gift tags, adding a touch of mystery and fun to our Christmas morning.- Stocking Surprises: Dive into the debate of where the best gifts belong – under the tree or in the stocking. Hear the Kushes’ story of how their stocking tradition began.- Food and Festivities: From James' standing rib roast tradition to Lisa's pumpkin bread, food plays a central role in our Christmas celebrations.- Embracing Change: We discuss how traditions evolve over time, adapting to life’s changes, as exemplified by the Robinsons and their Christmas Eve celebration.- Gift Giving with a Heart: Learn about the Luffmans' tradition of adopting a family each Christmas and their lively Christmas Eve gathering.- Gratitude and Vision: We share insights from the noble marriage, highlighting the importance of gratitude and vision planning post-Christmas.We invite you to share your Christmas traditions with us. Whether you're newly married or enjoying the golden years, every tradition enriches the festive season.From our hearts to yours, we wish you a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year. Join us for this festive episode as we celebrate the love, joy, and togetherness that Christmas brings. Stay tuned for Season 5, where we'll continue to explore the art of nurturing a loving, God-centered marriage. Resources:Marriage Reboot Discovery CallSUBSCRIBE: Monthly NewsletterLife Plan Discovery Call (With Lisa)Life Plan Discovery Call (With James)Support the Podcast:patreon.com/ArtofSpousingStay tuned for the upcoming episodes, and make sure to join the conversation on our social media platforms:Send Questions and Comments to: hello@artofspousing.comWebsite: artofspousing.comFB: artofspousingIG: @artofspousingJames IG: @thejamesduvallLisa IG: @lisaduvallSUBSCRIBE ON:Apple PodcastsSpotifyGoogle PodcastsAmazon MusicArt of Spousing is edited using Descript...the all-in-one audio & video editing application.Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here