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Stuck Not Broken

Author: Justin Sunseri

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Stuck Not Broken is the first podcast built on clearly teaching the Polyvagal Theory and applying it to your trauma recovery process. Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist that makes the science of connection easily understood and accessible to anyone. He created the Polyvagal Trauma Relief System and is the author of Trauma & The Polyvagal Paradigm.
(Justin Sunseri, LMFT99147)
335 Episodes
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Does a mental health diagnosis explain why you are suffering, or does it just give your suffering a name?In this episode, I challenge the traditional way we look at mental health labels. While a diagnosis (like depression, anxiety, or ADHD) can be a helpful shorthand for professionals, it often becomes a trap for the person receiving it—convincing them they are "broken" rather than adapting to their life context.To illustrate this, I share the story of two hypothetical clients: Penny and Milton. Both come to therapy with the exact same heavy symptoms.Penny receives a diagnosis, is told she has a disorder to manage forever, and leaves feeling defective.Milton is met with a nervous system perspective, learns his feelings make sense based on his history, and is given the tools to actually heal.Join me as we explore why your diagnosis is a description, not a life sentence. We’ll discuss how to shift from "fighting a disorder" to building safety in your nervous system, so you can stop merely managing symptoms and start getting unstuck.In this episode, you will learn:Why a diagnosis in the DSM describes what is happening but rarely explains why.The critical difference between the "Disorder Model" vs. the "Nervous System Model."How to stop rejecting your feelings and start building safety (the "Milton" approach).Why your symptoms are likely a normal response to an abnormal situation.🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When...
What if I told you that your ability to practice Stoicism isn't just about willpower or mindset—but about the actual physiological state of your nervous system? In this episode, I dive deep into a profound quote from Epictetus that perfectly illustrates how our autonomic nervous system affects our capacity to respond wisely to life's challenges.Using the metaphor of water, light, and appearances, we'll explore:• Why some days Stoic practices feel effortless while other days feel impossible• How your nervous system state acts as a "filter" for all incoming reality• The real reason willpower alone isn't enough for lasting change• 3 practical daily practices to "steady your internal waters"• How nervous system regulation enhances (rather than replaces) Stoic philosophyKey Quote: "Such as is a dish of water, such is the soul. Such as is the ray of light, which falls on the water, such are the appearances." - Epictetus0:00 Introduction0:40 The Epictetus Quote1:17 Breaking Down the Metaphor3:32 The Coffee Example5:10 Connecting to the Nervous System8:21 How Reality Filters Through Your State9:36 Person A vs Person B13:22 What To Do About This15:39 The Problem with Traditional Stoic Practice19:06 Settling the Water20:26 Practical Steps You Can Take Today22:54 Closing & Resources🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
There's more to me than Polyvagal Theory—I'm also a dad. And sometimes the best lessons come from the most unexpected places... like watching my son walk barefoot in sandals through a cold, rainy parking lot.In this reflective episode, I share a simple family moment that reminded me: mindfulness looks different for everyone. When my son told me he loves feeling "the air flowing between his toes," I realized he'd found his own way to be present—even if it made his parents cringe.Key Takeaways:→ Kids often know what they need and can make informed decisions (even about socks)→ Mindfulness doesn't require meditation cushions or apps—it can be as simple as cold air on bare feet→ Wise parents pick their battles; natural consequences teach better than artificial ones→ We all have our own version of "sockless mindfulness"—mine is opening the bathroom window during a hot showerA Question for You:What's YOUR unconventional mindfulness practice? The thing that grounds you that might seem weird to others?🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
"That was a long time ago. I don't think it affects me anymore."Have you ever said this about something from your past? In this deeply personal episode, Justin shares his own recent experience of discovering how past trauma still lives in the body—even when we're not thinking about it.After a major spinal surgery in 1997, Justin thought he'd moved on. But when new back issues required x-rays nearly 30 years later, he felt something unexpected surface: a saddened familiarity, an inward collapse. The past was still there, waiting.This episode offers a real-time example of what self-regulation can look like during difficult moments—and an invitation to extend more compassion toward yourself and the feelings that surface, even when they're unexpected.Key takeaways:Why "I don't think about it" doesn't mean it's resolvedHow to permit your feelings while staying anchored in safetyThe value of building your Safety Baseline before the unexpected arrivesWhat it looks like to balance difficult emotions with safety in real timeA different kind of episode. A different kind of connection.🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
A balloon floated down from the hotel ceiling. My son said, "Hit it back."I was sitting on a bench, quietly processing—reflecting on a loud, joyful Italian family reunion the night before, thinking about my upbringing, the conversations with my brothers, how my wife and I are raising our own kids. I wanted to stay in that quiet space.But then a wave of irritation hit me. And in that fraction of a second before the balloon touched my head, a thought arrived:This moment may never happen again.In this episode, I share a simple story from a family trip to San Jose—and what it taught me about:Recognizing when we shift out of safety and into fight or flightThe quiet power of playfulness as a pathway back to connectionWhy seizing small moments matters more than we thinkThis isn't about grand gestures or life-changing epiphanies. It's about a balloon, a 10-year-old boy, and the choice to hit it back.Consider this as me hitting a balloon to you. 🎈🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
When your spouse is dysregulated, shut down, or lashing out in anger—what's really happening? And more importantly, what can YOU do about it?In this episode, I break down:✓ The biological difference between being technically safe and *feeling* safe✓ Why your partner may not identify you as a safety cue (even if you're trying)✓ The "Polyvagal Ladder"—how shutdown → anger → safety actually works✓ Why fight activation coming out of shutdown is actually a GOOD sign✓ The painful relationship cycle (and how to break it)✓ 4 practical tips to shift relationship dynamicsKEY TAKEAWAY: If you want your relationship to change, it falls on YOU to show up differently. You can't control your partner's nervous system, but you can regulate yours—and that's powerful.⏱️ TIMESTAMPS:0:00 - Introduction: Understanding Dysregulation in Relationships0:32 - Listener's Question: Navigating Marital Challenges2:01 - The Concept of Safety in Relationships7:31 - The Role of Fight Activation and Safety11:03 - Breaking the Cycle: Self-Regulation and Boundaries20:12 - Practical Tips for Changing Relationship Dynamics26:45 - Conclusion: The Journey to Self-Regulation👉 Resources from this episode:"Self-Regulate to Co-regulate" episode - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-1ZflmdCZyE 🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Two years ago, I said AI couldn't replace therapists. I was wrong—about the technology, anyway. In late 2025, AI can now see you, hear your voice, and remember everything you say. But just because it can doesn't mean it should. In this episode, I'm exploring what's actually possible, who AI might actually help, and the uncomfortable questions we're not asking yet. This one might upset you. Good.🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Have you ever wished for a daily guide on your nervous system regulation journey? One that offers structure without being overwhelming, and personalized support without the need for intensive coaching?In this special announcement episode, Justin introduces a project he's been working on for months: the Self-Regulation Coach. Discover the "middle path" to getting unstuck—a tool designed for those who thrive with daily structure, gentle nudges, and expert guidance right in their pocket.Learn how this AI-powered app creates a personalized, step-by-step roadmap tailored to your nervous system. With bite-sized daily lessons, exclusive micro-mindfulness practices, and instant, compassionate feedback from your AI coach, you can build sustainable change at your own pace.If you're ready to move from feeling stuck to building a life of calm, confidence, and connection, this episode is your starting point.Start your personalized journey with the Self-Regulation Coach today: studio.com/justin/self-regulation-coach🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Is nervous system regulation a natural skill or a conscious effort? In this episode, we delve into the skill of pendulation—the mindful shift between safety and defense—and explore why it appears effortless for some but feels impossible for others.Discover the "carnival game" analogy for understanding your nervous system's capacity, learn how natural pendulation occurs in processes like grieving, and understand where you might fall on the spectrum of "stuckness." Justin breaks down how anyone, from those just "getting by" to those feeling deeply stuck, can learn to practice pendulation and transform it from a deliberate exercise into an automatic, embodied skill for living with more calm, confidence, and connection.🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Have you ever left a therapy session feeling completely wiped out, as if you've run a marathon you didn't train for? It's a common experience, but it isn't the goal of effective therapy. That feeling of depletion is a critical signal from your body that you've been pushed beyond your nervous system's capacity.In this episode, we explore a body-centric, Polyvagal-informed approach to therapy that builds resilience instead of burning you out. You'll learn how to work with your therapist to anchor in your safety state, mindfully "tiptoe" to the edge of discomfort, and safely return—a process that empowers you and grows your capacity over time. This is about building internal resources, not just surviving the session.If you're ready to change your expectation of therapy from draining to empowering, this episode is for you.🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Justin Sunseri challenges the widely accepted (and often ineffective) ways we understand and manage our emotions. He makes a bold claim: the common wisdom you've been taught about your feelings is likely wrong. Drawing from client conversations and his expertise as a therapist and coach, Justin reveals the two core problems with traditional emotional management and the five common avoidance tactics we all use. Get ready to discover a "weird but effective" body-based approach that offers a sustainable path to emotional regulation, moving beyond just changing thoughts or behaviors. Learn practical steps to connect with your body's safety state and begin transforming your emotional experience today.Key Takeaways:Most conventional approaches to understanding and managing emotions are flawed.Identify the five common ways you might be avoiding your emotions (resisting, ignoring, behavioral adaptations, intellectualizing, seeking external validation).Understand why changing thoughts or behaviors alone provides only temporary relief.Learn that emotions are primarily bodily experiences, not just mental states.Discover how to change your emotional state by intentionally connecting with your body.Get two actionable steps to start building your body's safety state right now.🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Unlock a deeper understanding of shame, anger, and the polyvagal theory in this episode! Justin Sunseri answers a listener’s question about navigating difficult emotions, pendulation, and the importance of safety in healing. Whether you’re a therapist, student, or someone seeking personal growth, this conversation offers practical insights and guidance.⏰ CHAPTERS:00:00 Introduction and Question from Katie04:10 Therapists' Perspective vs Client Reality08:27 Understanding Anger, Shame and Pendulation12:29 Safety First Approach16:40 The Unstucking Pathway and Academy🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
A viewer asked about TRE exercises that seemed to help with anxiety but left them feeling numb and disconnected. In this episode, I break down what might have gone wrong and why I take a fundamentally different approach to nervous system healing.🔑 Key Topics Covered:• Why prescribed movement exercises can backfire• The difference between fight-or-flight, freeze, and shutdown states• Why safety must come before any trauma work• How to work WITH your nervous system instead of against it• The problem with "hacks" and shortcuts in healing🎯 My Approach:Instead of prescribed movements, I focus on:Building a strong safety foundation firstMindfully connecting with your current stateAllowing natural self-regulation to unfoldFollowing your body's wisdom, not external protocols📚 Want to Learn More?Join the Unstucking Academy - a small, intimate community (limited to 150 members) where we practice these principles together. Features the Unstucking Pathway: bite-sized lessons under 10 minutes each, taking you from Polyvagal basics to mastering skills like pendulation and balancing.👉 Learn more: StuckNotBroken.com/UnstuckingAcademyTimestamps:00:00 - Introduction and Disclaimer00:28 - Viewer Question About TRE Exercises01:24 - Perspective on TRE and Trauma Recovery04:01 - Understanding Fight/Flight and Shutdown States08:01 - Additional Context About Freeze State10:32 - Importance of Safety and Mindful Movement12:18 - Addressing the Original Question15:01 - Information About the Unstucking Academy🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Feeling overwhelmed by complex breathing techniques and counting methods? In this episode, I share why your body already knows how to breathe—and why trusting that natural process might be more effective than any prescribed breathing "hack."🎯 What You'll Learn:• Why I don't recommend counting breaths during self-regulation• How to use ONE intentional breath as a re-anchoring tool• The difference between coping skills and true self-regulation• How to connect with your body's natural breathing rhythm• When prescribed breathing might actually be helpful (and when it's not)This approach is part of what we teach in The Unstucking Academy - simple, natural processes without the psychobabble or woo-woo.⏰ TIMESTAMPS:00:00 - Introduction and Viewer Question01:19 - Breath and Self-Regulation03:06 - Intentional Breathing Techniques04:49 - Mindfulness and Breath Awareness06:34 - Unstucking Academy Overview07:59 - Conclusion and Invitation🔗 RESOURCES MENTIONED:The Unstucking Academy: https://StuckNotBroken.com/unstuckingacademy(Limited to 150 people - simple, step-by-step pathway without the overwhelm)🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Feeling overwhelmed by your to-do list? I share three practical strategies to reduce overwhelm and finally get things done. Learn how to find safety, soften your defensive state, and take small, almost effortless steps forward. This episode is a replay of a free webinar from the Unstucking Academy. Discover actionable tips to improve your daily life and reach your goals without feeling stressed. Tune in and take a step towards living more calmly, confidently, and connected.00:00 3 Strategies to reduce overwhelm and get stuff done (262)01:26 intro, about, and goal01:53 You have things to do03:34 3 options to get stuff done04:19 Feel safety and then get stuff done 05:14 Passive safety cues07:29 Mindfully connect with a passive cue09:08 Safety cues are everywhere10:00 Jenny finds safety first11:30 Soften defense, then get stuff done12:30 Imagine defensive activation ahead of time13:21 Mindfully permit defense14:36 Recovering from overwhelm15:51 Jenny softens defense18:55 Bypass overwhelm to get more stuff done 20:53 Kaizen Steps Should be Very Small22:21 How to make small Kaizen steps22:54 Kaizen Examples25:47 Kaizen example: Tatiana27:15 Kaizen example: James28:40 Kaizen example: Heather31:37 Kaizen ecample: you39:57 Emotional objection to Kaizen43:43 Softening defense of work overwhelm47:40 Amanda overwhelm at grocery store🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Learn how the Polyvagal Theory helps explain healthy boundaries through a combination of safety and sympathetic activation.Episode Introduction and Context — 0:00Understanding Ventral Vagal Safety State — 0:34Balancing Safety and Sympathetic Activation — 1:16Proactive Practice for Boundary Setting — 3:29Compassionate Boundary Enforcement — 5:16Realistic Expectations and Self-Connection — 7:20Conclusion and Invitation to Unstucking Academy — 10:14Resources:⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyvagal-checklist-download-8a9597 🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
What’s the real difference between “fawn” and “appease”? Therapist Justice Sunseri breaks down these trauma responses, how they relate to Polyvagal Theory, and what it means for recovery. Download the free Polyvagal One Pagers in the description for more resources!00:00 – Episode intro00:51 – Understanding Fawn and Appeasement02:11 – Behavioral Adaptations in Severe Situations03:23 – Appeasement and Social Activation07:53 – Dissociation and Survival Mechanisms11:50 – Recovery and Self-Regulation out of Severe Dissociation15:07 – Episode outro and final thoughtsResources:⬇️ Download the Polyvagal One-Pagers - https://stucknauts.circle.so/c/public_resources/polyvagal-checklist-download-8a9597 🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Discover why trying to force a change in your polyvagal state might be holding you back from true self-regulation. In this episode, therapist and coach Justin Sunseri challenges the common advice around prescriptive breathing techniques and invites you to connect with your body’s natural rhythms instead. Through insights from a live Q&A, learn how mindful awareness and listening to your body can lead to genuine calm, balance, and lasting change—without counting breaths or forcing a state shift.Timestamps:0:00 – Introduction to Inner Balance0:39 – The Power of Natural Breathing2:02 – Critique of Prescriptive Breathing3:53 – Connecting with Your Body’s Needs5:03 – The Body’s Natural Self-Regulation11:05 – Creating Optimal Conditions for Self-Regulation15:02 – Final Thoughts and Invitation🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
Feeling stuck in old patterns or chronic anxiety? In this episode, you'll hear Janie's inspiring story of moving from a lifelong freeze state to genuine connection and safety. Discover how she overcame emotional numbness, built meaningful relationships, and found practical ways to feel more at ease in her own body. You'll learn:⌲ Real-life strategies for getting "unstuck" and building safety in your nervous system⌲ The power of co-regulation and supportive community⌲ How small, consistent steps can lead to big changes in your sense of calm and confidence🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
A listener shares his struggles with anxiety and attachment issues following a recent breakup. At age 17, Chuck's relationship triggered intense anxiety due to his anxious attachment style, leading to a highly stressful experience. After the relationship ended, Chuck faces persistent anxiety symptoms, fatigue, dizziness, extreme overthinking, and more. Justin discusses the possible states of defense and freeze, the role of safety activation, and offers practical general thoughts for those dealing with similar issues, emphasizing the importance of mindfulness, connecting with friends, and building safety activation as pathways to feeling unstuck.00:00 Introduction and Listener's Story00:30 Recognizing and Addressing Anxiety02:12 Understanding Freeze and Panic Responses05:56 Living in Survival Mode08:39 The Importance of Safety Activation10:17 Practicing Mindfulness and Connection13:38 Final Thoughts and Encouragement🤩 Ready to go deeper? Explore resources at every price point—from free content to 1-on-1 coaching. Whether you're just beginning or ready for transformation, there's something designed for where you are right now. 👉 Visit https://www.stucknotbroken.com/how-i-can-help-you😬 Need to catch up? Listen to the Polyvagal 101 audio series - https://player.captivate.fm/collection/cce134e7-1550-4d33-8e56-738d344c63b0✅ Crisis resources:National Suicide Prevention Hotline - 1 (800) 273-8255National Domestic Violence Hotline -1 (800) 799-7233LGBT Trevor Project Lifeline - 1 (866) 488-7386National Sexual Assault Hotline - 1 (800) 656-4673Crisis Text Line - Text “HOME” to 741741Call 911 for emergencyThis and other content produced by Justin Sunseri (“JustinLMFT”) (i.e; podcast, YouTube, Instagram, etc.) is not therapy, not intended to be therapy or be a replacement for therapy.  Nothing in this creates or indicates a therapeutic relationship.  Please consult with your therapist or seek for one in your area if you are experiencing mental health symptoms.  Nothing should be construed to be specific life advice; it is for educational and entertainment purposes only.Justin Sunseri is a Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist registered in the State of California (#99147).Don't forget to subscribe to the podcast! When you do, you will immediately get the next episode as soon as it's available. What's better than having the next episode of SNB ready and waiting for you? (Nothing, that's what.)
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Comments (14)

AJ Scarbrough

Justin, it would be hilarious if you insert another word instead of the bleep or silence. maybe a word of the day? lol. I'm going to use that on my podcast! this person who's resistant needs a close healthcare worker to get through the traumas/negligence --and THEN she'll get the Polyvagal Theory. when the traumas are dealt with and triggers discovered and accountability is met, it makes sense! I had to work out of the defensive state (fight) before being able to learn (more proof of the PVT). ps: still using my safety anchors, 5 months post♡

May 15th
Reply (1)

C Green

I don't get it. I live in an unsafe environment. I feel too much of everything. I don't know how to invite in more pain, whilst continuing on with daily life, whatever that is.

Feb 25th
Reply

AJ Scarbrough

absolute favorite one, so far! this hit every issue I'm facing. I cried so hard, it was so helpful and enlightening.♡

Nov 20th
Reply

AJ Scarbrough

I wouldn't look down on a person with a broken back for needing morphine to cope. and I want to give myself that inclusion, kindness, and acceptance as I need a crutch, like marijuana, to keep above fight/flight to understand safe and social. I've had the anxious survival mode running my entire life. giving myself allowance to partake of the herb for moments of relief during my difficult healing from trauma. if I shame that part that needs it right now, I'm rejecting a part of myself; judging and finite.

Nov 20th
Reply

AJ Scarbrough

it's hard leaning into it. but once we acknowledge it we can slowly begin accepting our feelings, unlike how we've been taught. I see me, I welcome me, I'm accepting me, I'm welcome to be with me♡

Nov 20th
Reply

Megan Langreck

I don't believe bipolar is as well understood and simplistic as it has been (packaged and) explained to the public. Some research into bipolar has stated that episodes - depressions or manias - can be triggered by life events and/or life cycles. People have also allegedly developed bipolar disorder by exposure to traumatic events -- while not having a "family history" of bipolar. Surprised these two, with backgrounds that they have, have stayed so well within conventional notions of bipolar. I think the DSM on this disorder is 'incomplete' as it certainly is on ADHD as well.

Mar 17th
Reply (1)

AJ Scarbrough

open letter 6 absolute positive and wonderful words of hope and strength. thank you! *crying*

Feb 10th
Reply

Caitlyn Beley

you warned. i wasn't able to finish this while driving! great info. funny how it was triggering though. the first two were quite soothing! love this series.

Jun 16th
Reply (1)

Tealyn James

I can already tell this podcast will change my life. Thank you in advance.

Apr 22nd
Reply (1)

Janus Kannuberg

I found your explanation very helpful

Mar 11th
Reply
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