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Cut the small talk.
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Hi there, you are listening to pei pals and today I am interviewing someone I’ve known for 39 years, quite literally my longest lasting pal, my mom. So welcome to a special episode of the podcast—one that’s a little different and a lot more personal. Today, I’m sitting down with my mom for our first-ever recorded conversation.We’ve never really done this before—just the two of us, talking about her life, our family, and things we’ve never said out loud. It’s truly astonishing the things we never discuss with our parents because we just take it for granted. In this conversation, I get to learn more about who she was before she became “Mom”—her upbringing, the challenges she faced, the things she felt but didn’t always show.There are stories I’ve never heard, emotions we’ve tiptoed around, and some real moments of reflection. It’s been eye-opening and surprisingly grounding to hear her perspective, especially on things I thought I already understood.This episode is a chance to slow down and connect—to look past the everyday roles we play and just see each other as people. I hope it sparks something for you too—maybe a conversation you’ve been meaning to have with someone important in your life.So here it is—me, learning more about my mom than I ever expected, and appreciating her in a whole new way. Thanks Mom.
Hi there, you’re listening to Pei Pals, and today I’m interviewing my friend Davis.Davis, for lack of a better word, is an alien. And I mean that with affection—truly, in the most positive way possible. I later discovered that whatever I I was feeling is the feeling of being in the presence of a future billionaire. They're just built different.I met Davis over Korean BBQ a few years ago when I was based in Taipei, and as I mentioned—it was instant confusion. Is this guy for real? Is his brain composed of TSMC processors, and his heart a humming motherboard? But I quickly learned he’s one of the most caring, considerate, and generous people I’ve ever met. And the more you learn about him, the more it all makes sense. He’s a true onion in that respect—layer after layer, but at the center, a chewy, gooey, golden nugget. Who else do you know who set going to Harvard as a goal when he was six—while basically living in poverty, with occasional blackouts from unpaid electric bills? Or who gave to charity and supported his entire family with his very first paychecks out of university?Actually, Davis is the person who inspired me to start giving more to charity, which eventually led to the creation of my nonprofit Baan Books (Thai for House of Books) and everything that followed.We don’t talk about work much, because if you know me, you know I usually find that the least interesting part of most people. Let’s just say this: Davis is determined to make an impact, change lives, and inspire—and he’s already doing all of that, very successfully.Thanks, Davis!
Kanae, or Kanae-chan as I usually refer to her, just happens to be one of Japan’s most well-known Latin dancers. But to me what stands out more is how that happened, and that's all about her mindset and approach to dance. We met at a dance festival in Tokyo - actually she had a solo performance, and I managed to work up the nuts to ask her for a dance. It turned out that we have a lot in common, which is something you’ll occasionally find in dance. People have hobbies such as dance for many reasons - some to just have fun, some to socialize, some to be active and get out of the house. For me, one of the primary reasons is to challenge myself and create a feeling of self-growth, since it comes with a pretty large learning curve. In other words, you'll get people with ambitious and somewhat obsessive personalities (guilty) and Kanae-chan is similar here. Her other big passion is self-growth and self-love. Again, not surprising since they are all related to ambition and drive in some way.We’ve got a short episode here with Ms. Sunshine. We talk about green and red flags in people, the specific affirmations she’s used to feel happier in her life, the somewhat enclosed box that is Japanese culture, and what the future holds for her in terms of life coaching.Sugoi ne, Kanae-chan
Take one listen to this guy’s voice. He just sounds like a singer, doesn’t he?Bondipity, or Bond as I call him, is a singer based in Bangkok. He'ss what you’d call a gigging musician, in that he performs everywhere around town, from hotels, to lounges, to clubs, to bars. But like all performers, the onstage persona and the real him have some real differences. What you see is not necessarily what you get.Bond grew up in Bangkok, but plot twist - went to study music at a bible school in the midwest of the US of all places. There he picked up one version of his English accent, made friends, made enemies, and had his first brush with the law. Upon moving back to Bangkok, he decided to embark on his lifelong dream of becoming a musician. I met Bond through mutual friends. Though Bangok has 12-15 million people depending on who you ask, there are small bubbles of expats and people who have lived abroad that share similar more western values and culture contexts. To illustrate, we met, and then the next week, I went to a cafe, and it just happened to be the cafe where Bond worked in his corporate-ish day job.I loved this deep dive into the artist's mind. Of course we talk about his musical process, the plans for his upcoming album, and who his musical influences are. Then we go a layer deeper into the mind of Bondipity, chatting about his family background, the normal human thirst for validation, his life coach, and the big moments that made him really, really, really want to become a father in the future. Thanks, Bond!
This is a different type of episode, because even though Arie and I are friends, we wanted this conversation to be more educational. That’s because Arie just so happens to be one of the world’s best known experts on something called BDD, which stands for body dysmorphic disorder. It’s quite different from body dysmorphia, and just because you are obsessed with going to the gym or social media, doesn’t mean you have it. He’s been leading his field for over 20 years, and I can confirm this because I found interviews of him on Youtube from when he still had a full head of hair. He’s been on Doctor Phil, he’s published a few books, he has patients worldwide, and he is sought out by media constantly. So instead of my being the armchair psychologist, why not leave it to the professionals!Other than BDD, we talk about a huge range of psychological topics, starting with him diagnosing me with something called “insecure overachievement” and I must say… guilty as charged. We also discuss his concept of vitamin Nurture and the influence on childhood attachments and security, what emotional validation looks like, the frustration of dealing with narcissists, and how we use mirror neurons in everyday life. Basically, the underpinnings of why people do what they do. Thanks Arie!
I met Giang when I was in Vietnam for a friend's wedding. In fact, I ended up being this friend’s best man at his wedding, which I discovered only 1-2 days beforehand. Thank you my Finnish brother.I remember the first time I met her, she would continually ask me "why" and "tell me more" and "and then"? It made me slightly defensive. After getting to know her better, I realized that its just her insatiable curiosity taking over. When she first met me, I do believe I offended her because she thought I was being critical. After getting to know me better, she realized that it’s just my habit of observing the world out loud without attaching a judgment to it. And now we're friends.Gaing has been around the world more than me, speaks more languages than me, has started more businesses than me, has danced longer than me, and owns a cat named cat. She’s hard to put in a nutshell, because if you told her that, she would probably say “Hey, it’s really cramped in this nutshell, can i be somewhere else?” Another thing she’s better than me at is meditation, and i actually catch her right after she does a 10-day meditation retreat in the middle of Thailand.This conversation goes deep – on family of origin and complex Asian family dynamics, using tragedy as the most powerful motivator ever, the consequences/benefits of attending 12-ish schools in her life, and her relationship with God as a 5-year old. Thanks Giang!
Darren was my Chinese tutor when I was living in Taipei. But that means that it was a bit one-sided, in that he would ask me questions, and I would do the bulk of the talking because it was about me practicing. Here I even the scales and interview him.Darren is what I would call a blue-collar auteur. Translation: he actually produces films and documentaries in Taiwan, but intentionally takes on so-called blue collar jobs in order to have a different range of experiences to draw upon for his films. Last I recall is that he was just living with a tribe of aboriginals in the mountains, doing who knows what. Prior to that, he was working as a cook in a noodle restaurant.This conversation is actually nothing special, in the sense that we have these types of conversations each time we connect. It’s no surprise that for both of us, before sunrise is one of our favorite films. It’s one of the quintessential “talking films” which just means that it’s a two hour long conversation. And if you think about this podcast that I really love making, well you know that’s right up my alley.In this episode, Darren has a therapeutic breakthrough and discovers how watching two divorces has impacted his relationships, we contrast life in different Asian mega cities, of course we talk about the emotional constipation of Asia, and why it’s so important to remain a romantic. Thanks Darren!
Jesse is not only my neighbor in bangkok, whenever he actually decides to live here, but he was one of the most influential people in my life last year. The way I met him is quite unique: I got sent a youtube link to a CNBC interview he did on being an expat in Bangkok. Basically I had a weird amount of information about him, from him, but not really from him personally. It made me feel a bit like stalker. Jesse originally hails from near Chicago, and like me, he ended up in Bangkok after a life nomadic punctuated by many other pitstops. It’s rare that I meet someone even higher on the non-normie scale than me, so this turns into a bit of a Q&A.In this episode, we talk about: what this normie and non-normie scale is exactly, the benefits of shrug emoji parents, how to inject novelty into your everyday life, his ratio of internet friends, his Panama chapter, and the nomad versus expat life (and we clown my former guest and our mutual friend Mark Zhang a bit). Thanks Jesse!
My pal Mark returns, this time with a baby in tow!It’s pretty great to be able to have a snapshot in time of someone’s life, before and after having a baby. You're welcome, Mark. I’m realizing that is part of the appeal for recording these conversations for myself as well. They are moments and places in time that represent different phases in life, and the same exact type of intersections and relationships will never occur again. Damn, time is tough.Let's consider this the fatherhood episode for the time being. As a reminder, Mark is the CEO of Manta Sleep, which produces the world’s greatest eye mask. Among other things, we talk about: witnessing a childbirth, the life changing magic of the scheduled c-section, how to encourage out of the box thinking in kids, the fear-based nature of Asian families, his strange obsession with primal man and living like a caveman, being well rested because of his wife’s sacrifice, and the most religious moment of his life.Thanks, Mark!
Once upon a time, I went to a co-working space in Taipei called the Hive, and that's where I met Jeff. It became immediately apparent that we had a lot in common, and we quickly built a ritual of talking about our shared perspectives over cheap sushi. We talked about identity things, expat things, Taiwan things, exercise things… but in the end, we talked the most about two things: money, and life fulfillment. And this episode contains a lot of that.Jeff is a BBC and has been living in Taipei for about a decade. Aside from people who have paid me money as an employee, he might be the person who has made me the most money in my life. In this episode, we talk about the pursuit of ego in various phases of life, wanting to decapitate himself and replace his head with a white kid’s head, his adventures in therapy and self-identity, and why he thinks rock climbing is the perfect and most challenging sport.Thanks, Jeff!
Jonathan is an unassuming guy, but hs is also impossible to not notice.A 6’3 handsome MFer in Bangkok tends to turn heads. But also, I noticed his shirts and hats. I figured out that they were about his own brand - and I can usually tell because I also make my own shirts! But the thing you notice next besides Jonathan is the way he interacts, collects, and analyzes in conversation. It’s the type of stuff where you can just tell that someone is completely intent on engaging with the world. As Socrates said, the unexamined life is not worth living.I met Jonathan at Soho House in Bangkok and he’s a former Team USA Track and field athlete, competing in the high jump, a business coach, and new nomad. As it turns out, being recruited to be on a Netflix reality dating show (take a guess which one), which was the kickstart for him to step out of the world of sport, and explore the actual world using Soho House locations as a compass. This guy is going places - both literally and figuratively. We talk about sacrifice, the benefits of 'coachability' in life and relationships, the concept of luck and the absence of control, the US culture of respect (or lack thereof), and Gen Z dating dynamics. Thanks, Jonathan!
Juan is one of my pals from Taiwan, and I knew of him before I met him because I had been using his website for months beforehand! He's the founder of taiwannutrition.com, and in more recent years, the founder of trueterral.com with his wife Sylvia. He’s been in Taiwan since his university days and speaks fluent Mandarin Chinese.Like most of my pals, his work is certainly the least interesting part of him. How about his two year forbidden and secret relationship with his wife when they first met? Or the poster he saw when he was 8 that influenced his entire relationship schema for life? Or how he plans to give his daughter a cultural attachment to Panama and Spanish?This is my favorite type of conversation because it is inspiring… in the sense that i am inspired to action in a few ways. Journaling, better gut health, new longevity thoughts… it’s like a mini Andrew Huberman episode here. And I guess that’s because above all things, Juan is a tinkerer, and never really settles. He is the growth mindset in hombre form.In this episode, we talk about how to instill curiosity and increase input in a person, the defensive nature of Panamanian society, the upcoming role of pickleball in his marriage, and he puts me in my place about gut health and sleep habits.
Mel is what I would call a boomerang. The way I define it is growing up somewhere, going somewhere else, and then ultimately returning to that first place for… reasons. Perhaps belonging, or a lack of belonging. Mel is also a twinkie, which also requires a definition. A twinkie is someone who is Asian on the outside, but white on the inside. But Mel is also originally from Singapore, so hes got another yellow layer inside there.Like many of my friends, I first met Mel on the dance floor. We danced, felt each other’s bodies, connected physically, and left with only a nod and lingering eye contact. A true one dance stand. And then about half a year later, I ended up at his rooftop for other dance related reasons and we had our first conversation.Mel is one of my friends that feels the most like home, because we have west coast origins and have gone through similar paths and struggles to get to where we are now.In this episode, we have a very wide range discussion on our life paths, the inflection points that made us who we are, the role of self-loathing and spite in shaping our goals, and both of our criminal histories. Thanks, Mel!
The picture doesn't match the name, does it?Reina is a pal that, when we first met, we didn’t talk at all. That's because she is a dance friend from Tokyo, and we met on the dance floor at a of the Latin dance festival in Tokyo.Reina immediately stood out because of her a... rms. It sounds strange, but if I see someone that’s obviously into fitness, I can guess with a high degree of accuracy the things that we probably have in common. One of my theories about people is that they tend to come in packages, or sets of values that come together more often than not. And so, Reina is a dancer, learns languages, works for herself, is a future digital nomad in Europe - some similarities here for sure. In this episode, we talk about all of those things, in addition to: the adulterous nature of Japanese marriages, how she certainly doesn’t fit the checklist for a typical Japanese man, how to contextually know if a Japanese person is rejecting you, and we pick up a few interesting Japanese phrases along the way. Thanks, Reina!
In this episode, I interview my pal Lisa. I also occasionally just call her hair; just take a look at the picture.I met Lisa at a dance festival in Chiang Mai, but it wasn’t until I moved to Bangkok that we became good friends, and even dance co-teachers. Her first words to me were “I’m not a bitch, I swear!” so it was obvious that this friendship was going to blossom. When I first moved to Thailand, I had a list of goals, for example find a social circle, find a Thai tutor, etc. One of the other goals was to organize bachata events and possibly teach in Bangkok, and we completely bonded over that similar ambition because we moved here around the same time.Lisa teaches dance and is a personal trainer, which means she spends her entire life in yoga pants. Mark my words, she will probably be one of the most well known dancers in Asia in a couple of years.Lisa is a golden retriever. That means she is relentlessly positive, cheerful, and sweet to everyone she meets, and we discuss why that’s a double-edged sword sometimes in her life. We also talk about red flags in dating, the fancy new words she learned from her past relationship, beauty standards in asia, and the unique dance scene in Thailand. Thanks, Lisa!
In this episode, I interview my pal Henry. Henry is actually a childhood friend. There’s something about people who you have known for 30 years, give or take. I guess they become a sort of family as well. We grew up together, went to school together, became Boy Scouts and then Eagle Scouts together, and tried to figure out how to look and dress cool as as teenager together. Spoiler alert: long bangs were NOT the answer.Henry is one of the most superlative people I know, because no matter what you can think of, he lives by extremes and contrarian views. For instance, refusing to eat broccoli for years, staying awake for 96 hours just to prove a point, and not wearing more than a t-shirt and shorts in 40-degree (f) weather. We discuss why. Henry is in the middle of an "Eat Pray Love" phase of his life, I finally convinced him to visit Bangkok, and experience a bit of life outside of the US. in a former life, he was one of the founders of a gaming startup that got acqui-hired and software engineer. In this episode, we talk about why he thinks he is a combination of Ewan McGregor and Kevin Costner, how his avoidance of expectation has shaped his life, why his favorite word right now is ABIDE, and his ongoing exploration of disposable friendships and conversations.
In this episode, I interview my pal Daniel. Our friendship actually spans a few years and a few countries. I believe we were based in Budapest around the same time years ago, and then we met and became close when we were both in Taipei for the entirety of Covid. He moved to Bangkok around the same time as I did, and it was quite comforting to have a good friend already here, like a Jewish security blanket. Daniel is one of the most authentic, fearless, and earnest people I know. He is 100% himself at every moment, and doesn’t seem to care how it will come off or what you will think. He has the ability to be a combination of honest, insightful, and vulnerable pretty much on any topic. Daniel runs an email marketing agency, and originally hails from Israel where he claims to have been a Mossad agent. He also used to be a photography teacher, and besides me, is the person i know that is most focused on optimizing their life.In this episode, we of course talk about life optimization and biohacking for peak performance, our therapy experiences, the benefits we both get from being neurotic, and the importance of emotional and sensual intelligence in a partner.
In this episode, I talked with my pal Aaron. He's not only a cool guy, but he's also my Bangkok shepherd because. I'll often have the experience of telling him “so this weird thing just happened…” and he will confirm that it is indeed a thing here.We actually have quite a lot in common, starting from our corporate backgrounds, ending up in Asia to focus on lifestyle, and cutting weight while battling the seductive allure of donuts and cake. Aaron is a productivity and systems expert that helps companies and executives improve their performance. There’s another parallel here because I hired someone almost exactly like him a few years ago and it completely changed my life. In this episode, we have a pretty wide ranging talk about Thai politics and staying out of the international spotlight, the prominence of mommy and daddy issues in Asia, how to make effective snap judgments on people, and the major benefits of living in a place where you look like the majority.
In this episode, I interviewed my pal Jaszmine. She's a new friend, but you wouldn't know it from the deep and private things that we talk about for everyone to hear. And that's because with most people, conversation is just an exchange of information. But other times, it is a sharing and discussion of beliefs, thoughts, and emotions. She’s a yoga teacher, cafe owner, meditation expert, crossfitter, and she possesses some of the most amazing shoulders you’ll ever see. She’s about to open her own yoga studio in Bangkok, and like another guest on this podcast, she also has a discount animal named Kuma…. This time a cat, and this cat is also an influencer.In this episode, we talk about the failings of education in Asia, how we learned to feel emotions, our relational traumas, and our biggest lessons from the mistakes we’ve made.
In this episode, I interview my pal Yu-Jiang. I've known him for about 10 years, back from when we were both living in SF. We've both since moved on - him to Seattle, and me abroad since 2016. What fascinates me about him is that he is the consummate tech guy, with UCLA, Apple, and Snapchat. You'd expect his life to be essentially a straight line to the purgatory of tech middle management and unrealized stock options, but somehow he's veered from that path. He took a job selling study guides door-to-door in Maryland the summer after his freshman year of college. He quit his cushy job at Apple to travel the world for 8 months. He's a tinkerer and life optimizer. He recently bought 16 of the same t-shirt. He bought a pomeranian on discount. He manually tracks every single dollar he spends.Most of those things I can highly relate to.In this episode, we talk about his absolute unit of a pomeranian and how it has brought his family together, the wealth disparity in Asia, what he does from 7-9am every single day, and why Khao San Road represents failure for both of us.
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