The Loving Truth

Stress doesn’t stay at work. It follows you home and seeps into your marriage. In this episode, I share a real example of a couple whose stressful roles were quietly creating impatience and distance between them. We explore a powerful exercise: identify the three things you truly need to feel fulfilled — no more than three — and protect what makes you come alive. When you recognize that you’re making a choice to stay in a stressful role, you move from resentment to empowered action. Sometimes you can’t change the circumstance, but you can change how you think about it and how you show up. And when you do, your life, and your relationship,begins to feel different. Thinking about ending your marriage and want to do it in a way that feels clear, calm, and intentional? Enroll in Divorce Differently (https://sharonpope.com/divorce). Inside this mini course, I’ll walk you step-by-step through how to move through separation with love and grace so you can protect your peace, your integrity, and the people you care about most.

"Our triggers are our responsibility." Sharon Pope In this episode, I talk about that feeling of taking two steps forward and one step back in your relationship.  I explain why triggers are personal, often rooted in childhood, and why we have to own them. We can't control everyone around us, but we can change the meaning we give to their behavior.  Real listening and presence are rare right now. We can all build that muscle.  Healing happens when what used to trigger you no longer does, not when someone finally obeys.  Progress isn’t linear; this is life school, so be gentle with yourself and use setbacks as information.  When you heal a trigger, you don’t just step forward; you take a quantum leap. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session (https://clarityformymarriage.com) with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Change is something we all resist. It's uncomfortable, unknown, and goes against our basic human nature. In this episode, I explore why we tend to wait until our relationships are in total crisis before we’re willing to do the hard work of being vulnerable.  Drawing on back-of-the-mind wisdom from Esther Perel, I explain why we have less incentive to change when things are good, but far less creativity to change when things are bad. This "aspirin vs. vitamin" approach to marriage keeps us reactive instead of proactive. To truly shift your relationship, you have to start with yourself and find a reason big enough to get you off the couch. It’s about being intentional with connection and choosing to be loving rather than just waiting to feel loved. As I often say, "If you want something different, you have to do something different." Feeling overwhelmed by menopause, and noticing it’s affecting your marriage too? If you’re serious about feeling steadier in your body and more connected in your relationship, take the next step with my Menopause Mini Course. It’s short, practical, and designed to help you move out of overwhelm and into clarity. Start today at sharonpope.com/menopause (https://sharonpope.com/menopause).

I’m sharing the two best, and least used, relationship tools I know. We didn’t get a class on this, so most of us are winging it. And no, I’m not teaching voodoo Jedi mind tricks to change your partner. This is about making it easier to be in relationship with you. The first tool is validating your partner’s experience, even when it’s different from yours. That builds trust and safety. Validation is not agreement. It’s simply, “I can see how you’d see it that way.” The second tool is taking 100% accountability for your thoughts, feelings, and actions. That’s where your power lives. As I say in the episode, “I almost got a tattoo that said, ‘It’s all me.’” Use these two tools and you’ll feel the shift, starting with you.

I’m talking about when relationships end, not just marriages, but family ties and friendships. More people are going no contact as we learn what’s healthy and set boundaries, but I remind you that “health resides in the middle.” Sometimes we need distance. Sometimes our seasons of life just don’t match. I share the three core skills that keep long-term relationships alive and how communication ties it all together. As we get better at these, we may outgrow some relationships, and that’s a hard truth. I also share how I set boundaries and why fewer, tighter relationships can be healthier and more sustainable. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In this episode, I get honest about knowing divorce would be hard and then discovering what’s actually hard once you’re in it. I talk about co‑parenting as the biggest pain point. Why you can’t control an ex but you can influence, and how two different parenting styles can actually help your kids. I share a simple mindset shift and a practical fix for communication: add structure, like a monthly coffee to review the kids, what’s working, and what’s not. We also name what you don’t see coming: new partners showing up fast, moving homes, friends and family choosing sides, and the grief and loneliness that can wash over you. Be gentle with yourself, because you’re in a real transformation. I give you journaling prompts to create closure, gratitude, and intention for how you want to carry yourself. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

A morning meditation with Wayne Dyer stopped me in my tracks: "...Freedom does not come from avoiding the pain. It comes from walking through it with your heart wide open." In this episode, I share a simple three-part path for moving through marriage challenges with courage. First, I separate facts from my thoughts and choose the story that serves me. Then I ask better, braver questions that reveal the truths I’ve been avoiding. Finally, I use those answers and my tools to turn pain into growth, with practice and accountability. I talk about stepping out of victim mode, keeping my heart open, and loving you enough to tell you the truth, so you can become the woman you know you are and create a healthy, connected relationship. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In this episode, I unpack “monkey barring,” which is reaching for the next relationship before you’ve let go of the last. It often looks like cheating, but it’s really about fear, codependency, and avoiding hard conversations. We use an affair like an emotional safety net because being alone feels scary. I name how affairs distract us from the real problems at home and how easy it is to get hooked on external validation. I also show you what it can sound like to tell your partner you felt a tinge of attraction and use that as a doorway back to each other. A lot of us were never taught how to do this.  But these skills are learnable. And you’re capable of them. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

I’m breaking down how to know when your marriage is in real trouble, using a TV moment that felt all too real: a late‑night “We need to talk,” an “I’m not happy,” and a packed bag by the door. By the time someone says I’m not happy, things are already serious. That phrase is vague, blaming, and usually too late. Many partners brush it off, not because they don’t care, but because they don’t know what to do.  Then years pass, nothing changes, and we hear, “You should have said it louder.” I walk through the subtle red flags most people ignore at first. The small shifts in connection, the growing irritations, the distance that sneaks up on you. If part of you knows something is off but you’ve been afraid to name it, this conversation will speak to you. If any of this sounds familiar, roll up your sleeves and address it now. It won’t fix itself, and waiting only makes the next conversation harder. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

I’m unpacking emotional adulthood through a client’s story. I challenge the idea of “make it work.” We can aim higher than a marriage that doesn’t suck.  I walk you through naming your unspoken rules, keeping only the few that matter, and actually saying them out loud. Your thoughts create your feelings, not your partner. The thing that once made you laugh only became annoying when your thought about it changed. We all slip into blame because change is hard. But long-term love asks more of us. “Much like bread needs yeast, relationships need emotional adulthood.” - Sharon Pope Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

Your coach isn’t your bestie. And that’s a good thing. When you admit your marriage is in trouble, you need love that sees your blind spots, challenges your excuses, and won’t let you settle. I share a Q&A moment where a woman wanted a pep talk about reconciling while still in an affair. I paused and chose the truth: “I could make you feel better, but I kind of don’t want to.” I called her higher, named the avoidance, and laid out her real choices: end the affair and give the marriage your all release the marriage and see where the affair goes keep lying until it blows up That’s the love I offer as a coach: I hold up the mirror and walk beside you while you do the hard, honest work. Because “when someone pushes you to be better, it’s not criticism. It’s an act of love.” Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In this episode, I share a client story where her husband secretly put a tracker on her car, and how tempting it was to tell him off or file a restraining order. We walked through what those reactions would actually accomplish. Not much. They don’t change the past and they can harm co-parenting and her peace. She chose a different path. She chose to protect her peace and stay steady toward a peaceful divorce. “If telling someone off worked, I’d tell you to do it.” It doesn’t. So I give you three steps that do work: get clear on your goal, decide how you want to feel, and choose the strategy that gets you there. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In this final episode of the Us Unfiltered: Behind the Beautiful Life series, I explore what “having it all” really means — and why a beautiful life on the outside can still feel empty when your marriage isn’t getting the care it deserves. We talk about the difference between success, happiness, and true fulfillment, and how easy it is to give our best to work and our kids while offering only crumbs to our relationship. I share why emotional connection is real wealth, why numbing keeps us stuck, and why we need to stop saying “I’m unhappy” without offering a path forward. We’re whole humans. What happens at home affects everything else. I walk you through how to evolve your marriage as life changes, and two questions every couple should ask to create a next chapter that feels as good as it looks. The life you’ve built is beautiful. Now it’s time to make it feel beautiful. If you’re serious about healing the disconnect in your marriage, there is a path forward. Apply for a Private Couples Weekend. We’ll talk about what’s happening between you, what you want to rebuild, and whether this private, two-day experience is the right container to help you create lasting change—together.  Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In this episode, I talk about why desire fades — and why it’s not gone, just buried. Buried under busyness, emotional distance, resentment, and the weight of responsibilities. A lack of sex isn’t the problem; it’s the symptom. I break down what desire really needs (safety and aliveness), how routine and predictability smother intimacy, and why familiarity dampens passion over time. You’ll learn the difference between spontaneous and responsive desire, why emotional closeness has to come first, and how sex becomes a standoff when no one wants to go first. I offer simple ways to reconnect: eye contact, non-sexual touch, curiosity, small moments of presence, and adding bits of novelty back into your lives. Desire doesn’t magically return — it grows again through connection. In the next episode, we’ll wrap the series with what “having it all” actually means when it comes to love, success, and fulfillment. Rebuild desire and closeness in a real way: join us for the Couples Weekend. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In part three of Us Unfiltered, I explore how power dynamics quietly shape a marriage: who leads, who decides, who sets the tone. These patterns usually come from what we saw growing up, and without realizing it, they create a one-up/one-down dynamic that erodes trust and connection. Too much independence can turn partners into high-functioning roommates instead of a true team. I talk about why every contribution counts, why control blocks intimacy, and how “keeping the boardroom out of the bedroom” matters more than most couples realize. I share a moment in my own marriage where choosing presence over defensiveness shifted everything. You’ll learn simple ways to restore balance: notice without blame, make space for your partner to lead, value emotional work, step out of the one-up stance, and reconnect around a shared vision. If you’re serious about healing the disconnect in your marriage, there is a path forward. Apply for a Private Couples Weekend. We’ll talk about what’s happening between you, what you want to rebuild, and whether this private, two-day experience is the right container to help you create lasting change—together.  Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In part two of Us, Unfiltered, I talk about what silence really costs inside a marriage. Avoiding hard conversations feels easier in the moment, but over time it erodes your voice, your connection, and the safety between you. The space between you fills with assumptions, resentments, and quiet loneliness. Avoidance hides in busyness, sarcasm, over-functioning, or shutting down—and underneath all of it is fear. Fear of conflict, fear of being misunderstood, fear of what honesty might change. I walk you through simple, doable ways to re-engage: choose calmer moments, speak from your own experience, lead with empathy, take one issue at a time. I share scripts like “I miss us” and “Are you open to talking about this?” so you know exactly how to begin. Because you can’t heal what you won’t face. Reflection: What’s one truth you’ve been avoiding—and what might open up if you spoke it? If you’re serious about healing the disconnect in your marriage, there is a path forward. Apply for a Private Couples Weekend. We’ll talk about what’s happening between you, what you want to rebuild, and whether this private, two-day experience is the right container to help you create lasting change—together.  Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

In this first episode of Us, Unfiltered: Behind the Beautiful Life, I speak to high-achieving couples who appear successful on the outside yet feel disconnected at home. Life is full, you’re doing everything “right,” but the closeness you want has faded behind the busyness. Achievement builds strong skills, but connection requires different ones. And the habits that help you excel — control, efficiency, staying in motion — can quietly block intimacy. I name the early warning signs: staying late at work to avoid the tension, talking only about schedules, and avoiding conversations about how you really feel. Nothing is wrong with you. You simply haven’t learned the skills that create true closeness. It doesn’t take hours. It takes intention. Ten to twenty minutes of real presence can shift everything. My invitation: put distractions aside, sit together, and ask, “How’s your heart?” or “How are you really doing?” Then listen. In the next episode, we’ll look at how avoidance creates distance and how silence slowly replaces intimacy. If you’re serious about healing the disconnect in your marriage, there is a path forward. Apply for a Private Couples Weekend. We’ll talk about what’s happening between you, what you want to rebuild, and whether this private, two-day experience is the right container to help you create lasting change—together.  Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

I’m challenging the question, Am I a terrible person?  I explain why that question keeps you stuck in shame and judgment. I offer better questions: How is this serving me, and how is it not? I walk through real examples, like not wanting to stop an affair and withholding love from a good man. We look at the short-term hits and the real costs, including risk, stress, kids, family, and how avoiding vulnerability blocks connection. I’m not here to judge. I’m here to help you make conscious choices that align with who you want to be. Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session (https://clarityformymarriage.com/truth-clarity) with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

I share the story of a woman who followed my work for 10 years before she reached out, hoping the next blog or podcast might fix her 20-year marriage.Once we finally worked together, she and her husband became more connected than ever.I talk about why we wait: saying it out loud makes it real.The unknown feels scary. We hope things change on their own. We want a guarantee. We worry. We don’t know what we want. We don’t want to do the work, and doing nothing feels easier.But that wait creates distance and piles on resentment, and our behavior gets worse.Our problems don’t age well.If you’re stuck, you don’t need a decade. Sometimes you have to leap before you can see the ground.Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.

I’m breaking down what no-fault divorce is, why it’s more recent than most people realize, and why it isn’t the villain.Laws don’t destroy marriages. People do.What really ends marriages:NeglectShutting downAvoiding hard conversationsBlaming instead of owning our partGetting defensiveInvalidating each otherTurning love into a transactionNot listeningAnd finally, indifference.A no-fault divorce gives you the freedom to choose your reasons, and the only person who has to make peace with those reasons is you.If you’re even thinking about ending your marriage, set a Google alert for “no fault divorce” plus your state so you know if that freedom is at risk where you live.Struggling to decide whether to stay or go in your marriage and you’re serious about finding that answer? Book a Truth & Clarity Session with a member of my team. We’ll discuss where you are in your marriage and explore if there’s a fit for you and I to work together so you can make - and execute - the RIGHT decision for YOU and your marriage.