Claim OwnershipUnfollowing Mum
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© Harriet Shearsmith
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Unfollowing Mum : Break Unhealthy habits and be the parent you wish you'd had is available for preorder NOW!
A therapist recommended podcast for cycle breakers by someone who has lived the experience. Host Harriet Shearsmith knows first hand how challenging it can be to navigate estrangement, toxic family and dysfunctional dynamics in a digital age where setting boundaries and protecting your peace is harder than ever.
In 2023 we’re unfollowing mum. We’re breaking the cycle, unsubscribing from the drama by healing generational trauma and putting ourselves and our mental health first.
Each week I will answer your anonymous questions, discuss experiences and tackle the issues surrounding estrangement, generational trauma and navigating toxic families. Sometimes I’ll speak to experts, people with lived experience and other cycle breakers to share their point of view.
You’re not alone, there is a community of people navigating parenthood without solid role models, learning to love themselves after emotional abuse whilst breaking the cycle for the future generations 💜
Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
92 Episodes
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On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Chantelle about her experiences of growing up with a teen mum, parentification and how she used her experiences to inspire her work as a child protection social worker.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode Harriet Shearsmith speaks with Hazel about her experiences of enmeshment with her father and subsequent estrangement, only for her to witness similar patterns of dysfunction with her husband and his mother, leaving her with the experience on both sides.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about Netflix documentary Unknown Number: The Catfish Highschool which follows the shocking case of Kendra Licari and her horrendous abuse of her daughter and friends. please note, this episode contains spoilers for the documentary and discusses Munchausen by Proxy (now known as Factitious Disorder Imposed on another (FDIA))Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of summer holidays growing up and how it differs from her parenting experience, she shares powerful insights from her book Unfollowing mum on Interpersonal psychotherapy - adolescent skills training (IPT-AST) and how we can use the programme to improve our communication with our children (and how we can reflect on where these skills were absent in our relationships with our parents)Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares a letter from 'Tanya' about parental suicide after estrangement, an enabling parent who haven't worked on their own trauma and continue to choose people who harm them and the impact affairs have on toxic family dynamics.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode of the show, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with author of Golden Child: My descent to scapegoat and rise to freedom and mind & body practitioner Lauren Smallcomb about her experiences as a former golden child and what it looks like to fall from the golden child perch.You can find Lauren at instagram.com/goldenchildbook or @flourish_therapy and find her book at flourishtherapy.kartra.com/page/goldenchildHarriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares a recent experience where she had to break no contact with her mother due to harassment, how she handled the situation and what it looks like to stay in a place of 'self' during these experiences.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith reads out a letter from a listener, sharing their experience of growing up in a toxic family dynamic as the scapegoat and how that led to estrangement.Harriet’s books:Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you’d had is available here: https://amzn.to/3FKHqdeCycle Breakers: Free yourself from emotionally immature parents and be the parent you wish you’d had (US edition): https://www.amazon.com/Cycle-Breakers-Yourself-Emotionally-Immature/dp/B0F1ZY9G8K/Visit harrietshearsmith.com for resources on estrangement and navigating family dysfunction or to submit a letter to the podcast. You can also book a session with Harriet here: https://app.simplymeet.me/harrietshearsmith Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats about the difference between emotionally immature, narcissistic and toxic parents.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Or visit www.harrietshearsmith.com for helpful resources, tools and to book an appointment with Harriet. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith speaks with an anonymous guest regarding her experiences with parental alcoholism, a narcissistic and self centred father and toxic parent dynamics.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the experience of being triggered - both memories that conversations with people will bring up, and what it is like to recognise your abusive parent's behaviours in someone else.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3Xdu12Y Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Diana, childhood sexual abuse and cancer survivor, about her experiences growing up in an abusive household and discovering the betrayal of her mum in adulthood. They discuss the physiological impact of trauma and Diana's views on her healing journey. For more from Diana, you can find her here:Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diana__pearson__Tiktok: https://tiktok.com/diana__pearson Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about her experience of growing up with a narcissistic parent who has been cheated on and how that unique dynamic can present in the parent/child relationship.You can get a copy of Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wanted here: https://amzn.to/42rOl3N Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with 'Laura' about her lived experiences with a narcissistic mother who alienated her father and eroded her self worth and confidence. 'Laura' shares how she's found empowerment through therapy and cutting contact.If you find any of the topics on Unfollowing Mum useful, you can buy Harriet's book here: https://amzn.to/3DTQsn0 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith shares the first written submission for the lived experience stories shared on the podcast. This listener has shared their lived experience of going to university and becoming estranged, as well as some resources for fellow estranged students.https://www.standalone.org.uk/guides/adultchildren/https://www.bethanywebster.com/blog/going-no-contact/https://www.ucas.com/applying/applying-university/individual-needs/estranged-studentsGrab a copy of Harriet's therapist recommended book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3E4hdVC Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith talks about the new year and what it means for cycle breakers, estrangements and toxic family dynamics.Order Harriet's new book here: https://amzn.to/3DW5ZCv Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this final episode of the year, host Harriet Shearsmith talks with therapist Natasha Nyeke about boundaries at Christmas.You can find Harriet's book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy Patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/41BCzn3 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith has a bit of a rant about unethical care, a lack of trauma informed care and why finding the right therapist matters.You can find Harriet's book: Unfollowing Mum: Break unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3VxO1ME Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host Harriet Shearsmith chats with Holistic Sleep Coach Kelly about her experiences of growing up with a narcissistic parent and how that influences her work. They chat about attachment styles, the impact of toxic parents on our sleep patterns and more! You can find Kelly here: instagram.com/mychildsleepconsultant Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
On this episode, host and author Harriet Shearsmith talks with an anonymous guest about their experiences of antenatal and postpartum depression whilst navigating toxic family and what it means to finally choose yourself. You can buy Harriet's new book Unfollowing Mum: Break Unhealthy patterns and be the parent you wish you'd had here: https://amzn.to/3VoJso7 Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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This castbox episode that was attached to my comment is absolute rubbish. , I listened to it with an open mind but her narrow focus & obvious ignorance of th,e complexities of toxic family systems meant her conclusions were harmful & it was victim blaming. Many experts in this area discuss toxic or narcissistic children & the ramifications of that relationship. There are many factors at play & this does not address the realities
girl LOSE that mum. I think you deserve so much and your kids deserve a grandparent, but if he did that to you while you were sleeping you can't leave them alone with him for a MOMENT, can't even piss at a restaurant if he's at the table or his hand could be in your child's diaper. if I had the option to push a button and dissolve these people from your life I would. you deserve so much more. I hope you'd tell me the same.
My son has cut of contact with me when I went no contact with my family. i know I made plenty of mistakes but I absolutely gave him unconditional love. I always made it clear that he didn't have to do anything to earn my love, that just because he was was enough for me to love him. So there are exceptions to the relational dynamic you're talking about.