Claim OwnershipMore than Roommates
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Welcome to More Than Roommates, where we want to help you take the next step to be more intentional in your marriage. We want to help you avoid falling into the trap of being merely roommates with your spouse. We hope that through authentic, biblical, and practical conversation you will gain tools and wisdom to help you take one step closer to the Lord and the marriage He intends for you and your spouse. Listen in as Scott Kedersha, Gabrielle McCullough, and Derek Davidson help you intentionally strengthen your relationship.
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Many couples treat money like “yours” and “mine,” but Scripture calls us to live as “one flesh”—and that includes our finances. In this episode Derek, Garielle, and Scott talk about joint accounts, transparency, and simple rhythms that move you from roommates to true financial intimacy. Scriptures:Genesis 2:24Psalm 24:1Psalm 50:10 Questions to Discuss:1. Do you and your spouse share food?2. Why does it matter whether you merge your bank accounts or not?3. When you hear “one flesh financially,” what excites you and what scares you? Why?4. If you keep (or want) separate accounts, what heart-level reasons are driving that (control, fear, secrecy, past hurt, convenience)?5. What weekly or bi-weekly money rhythm would help us communicate (budget review, giving/prayer, upcoming expenses, savings goals)? Resources:Watermark - Moneywise Ministry ResourcesRamsey - Financial Peace University
Marriage is often described as hard—but it’s also one of God’s greatest gifts of joy. In this episode, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott share biblical wisdom, stories, and practical ways to cultivate gladness, gratitude, and fun in your marriage.Scriptures:1 Cor 7:28John 16:33MT 7:24-27John 10:10 Discussion Questions:1. What small things bring joy and laughter into your marriage right now?2. Are there habits you’ve let go of (like creative dates or playful traditions) that you want to bring back?3. How can you speak more positively about your marriage to others—without ignoring the hard parts?4. What’s one practical step you can take this week to pursue gladness together?Resources:Book - Anatomy of an Affair: How Affairs, Attractions, and Addictions Develop, and How to Guard Your Marriage Against Them, by Dave CarderBook – The Ready or Knot Prayer Guide, by Scott Kedersha
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott welcome back Dr. Juli Slattery to discuss her newest book, Surrendered Sexuality. Together they unpack why sexual struggles are always spiritual struggles, how identity in Christ transforms intimacy, and what it looks like to invite God into this vulnerable area of marriage Scriptures:Psalm 139:7-8Romans 12:1-2 Resources:Juli’s book – Surrendered Sexuality: How Knowing Jesus Changes… EverythingEpisode 127 – Healing From Sexual Abuse (feat. Juli Slattery)Juli’s Ministry and Podcast - Authentic Intimacy, Java with Juli Questions to Discuss:1. Do you find it difficult to invite God into conversations about sex and intimacy in your marriage? Why or why not?2. How does culture influence the way you and your spouse think about sex? In what ways do you need to realign with a biblical mindset?3. What’s one part of your life—or marriage—you’ve struggled to surrender to Jesus?
In this episode, the More Than Roommates team tackles one of the most quoted—and misunderstood—marriage verses: “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger.” They unpack what Ephesians 4:26 really means, why staying up until 2 a.m. fighting isn’t always wise, and practical ways to resolve conflict quickly without giving the enemy a foothold in your marriage. Scriptures:Ephesians 4:25-27Ephesians 4:3Romans 12:18 Questions to Discuss:1. What are your sleeping habits as a couple?2. How have you as a couple interpreted “Don’t let the sun go down on your anger” in your marriage? Has it helped or hurt you?3. When you're in conflict late at night, what’s your agreed-upon plan—keep talking, or hit pause and revisit?4. What “pre-decisions” could you make (e.g., never sleeping on the couch in anger) to protect unity in your relationship?5. Are there busy schedules or commitments keeping you from connecting before the late-night hours? If so, what changes could you make?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott talk about cohabitation and whether couples should live together before marriage (Hint: the answer is “no”). We discuss the dangers of acting like a married couple before you make the covenant commitment marriage requires. Scriptures:Hebrews 13:4Romans 12:1-2Genesis 2:24-251 Corinthians 6:18John 4Ephesians 5:15 Questions to Discuss:1. How do you think our culture’s view of living together before marriage differs from God’s design?2. How have you seen “playing married” cause harm — in your own story or in others’?3. If you lived together before marriage, what conversations of repentance, grace, or reflection might be helpful now?4. How can we lovingly encourage friends or family members who are considering living together before marriage?Resources:Relationship DUI Video
Author and speaker Arlene Pellicane joins the More Than Roommates team to talk about her new book Making Marriage Easier and the four simple decisions that can transform your relationship. From practicing gratitude to setting tech boundaries, Arlene offers practical, biblical, and fun ways to move from “just roommates” to a thriving marriage. Scriptures:Gen 1:28Gen 2:241 Thess 5:16-18 Questions to Discuss:1. How can you and your spouse better cultivate a culture of gratitude in your marriage?2. Which of the four decisions—play by the rules, give thanks, serve your spouse, take fun seriously—comes most naturally to you, and which is most challenging?3. How has technology helped or hurt your connection as a couple? What boundaries might help protect your relationship?4. When was the last time you had truly fun, joyful time together? How can you make that more regular? Resources:Arlene’s latest book - Making Marriage Easier: How to Love (and Like) Your Spouse for LifeFollow Arlene on InstagramArlene’s Website: ArlenePellicane.com and Making Marriage Easier site.Arlene’s Podcast – Happy Home Podcast
Every marriage has warning lights—subtle indicators that something needs attention. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Scott, Derek, and Gabrielle talk through four key warning signs to watch for in your marriage and practical ways to address them before they turn into bigger problems. Scriptures:1 Peter 3:7PR 27:12Galatians 6:7-81 Cor 6:181 Cor 10:12 Questions to Discuss:1. When was the last time you and your spouse laughed together? What could you do this week to create more fun moments?2. How connected do you feel to your spouse right now on a scale of 1–10? What would help you move up one point?3. Are there any unresolved conflicts between you that need to be addressed?4. In what ways are you guarding your marriage against unhealthy boundaries with the opposite sex?5. How are you growing spiritually together? What’s one step you can take this week to pursue God as a couple? Resources:Book - Making Marriage Easier, by Arlene PellicaneMTR Episode 109 - Marriage Myth: We Think We’re Healthy Because We Don’t Fight (feat. Greg & Erin Smalley)
Too many couples wait years before seeking help in their marriage—often after unhealthy patterns are deeply rooted. In this episode, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott challenge listeners to fight that tendency by asking for help early, engaging in community, and regularly checking in with one another before problems really settle in.Scriptures:Proverbs 19:11Proverbs 18:2Eph 4:26-27 Questions to Discuss:1. If you see something broken in your house, what do you do?2. Are there any “small cracks” in our marriage we’ve been ignoring?3. What keeps us from asking for help—pride, fear, apathy, comparison?4. What’s one way we can bring others into our marriage to speak life and truth?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, the MTR team interviews Gabe and Rebekah Lyons about their new book, The Fight For Us. The Lyons share vulnerably about their journey through conflict, emotional intimacy, and the realities of mental health in marriage. They unpack practical tools from their new book The Fight for Us, including how to support your spouse, move from isolation to connection, and keep fighting for each other when life gets hard.Scriptures:John 16:331 Peter 3:7 Questions to Discuss:1. What is one way we can “fight for us” instead of fighting against each other this week?2. Take Gabe & Rebekah’s Marriage Quiz. What’s your default response in the “dysfunctional dance”? (Silent, Intense, Avoidant, Anxious). How does that affect your marriage?3. In what ways can I better support you during seasons of anxiety, stress, or discouragement?4. What are some of your strengths I can celebrate more often?Resources:Book – The Fight For Us: Overcome What Divides to Build a Marriage That Thrives, Rebekah & Gabe LyonsLearn more about Gabe Lyons & Rebekah LyonsTHINQMedia.com & THINQ Summit 2025Free Marriage Quiz - What’s Your Dance?Gabe & Rebekah’s Marriage & Parenting RetreatThe Fight For Us Podcast Series (14 episode series) Apple & Spotify
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott dive into the often controversial and deeply personal topic of modesty—what we wear, why we wear it, and how it impacts our spouse, our marriage, and our walk with the Lord. Scriptures:1 Tim 2:9-101 Peter 3:3-4Romans 12:2PS 139:14 Questions to Discuss:1. When you get dressed, what drives your clothing choices—comfort, attention, insecurity, or something else?2. How do you feel about what your spouse wears in public or posts online? Have you talked about this before?3. What would it look like to honor God, your spouse, and others through the way you dress and present yourself?4. Are there any unspoken assumptions or double standards in your marriage regarding modesty?
Most affairs don’t begin in a hotel room—they start with unnoticed compromise and poor decisions in the workplace. In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss the sobering reality of workplace temptation and offer practical, biblical strategies to protect and strengthen your marriage.Scriptures:2 Corinthians 12:9Matthew 5:27-301 Corinthians 10:12 Resources:Jordan Raynor Newsletter - 85% of affairs start at work. Here are 3 ways to stay pure. Questions to Discuss:1. Are there any boundaries we need to revisit or establish when it comes to work relationships with the opposite sex?2. How do we communicate when one of us has to travel or work closely with someone of the opposite sex?3. In what ways can we invite community into this area of our lives for prayer and accountability?4. What “commitment devices” or proactive safeguards could we put in place to protect our marriage?
How should couples talk about health, body image, and physical changes over time without shaming or hurting one another? In this episode of More Thann Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott have an authentic, biblical, and practical conversation about pursuing health and wellness in marriage, and why honoring God with your body matters more than chasing perfection or appearances.Scriptures:1 Cor 10:311 Cor 6:19-20Gen 2:24PR 21:91 Pet 3:15Gal 6:1 Questions to Discuss:1. What was your family’s view of health growing up? How does that influence your habits today?2. Why do you think it’s hard for most couples to discuss wellness, eating, exercise, etc…?3. What is the goal of your desires to pursue health and wellness?4. How can you and your spouse help other to be healthy? How could we make this a shared pursuit—meals, walks, fitness, prayer—for the sake of unity and companionship?Resources:Book – Every Body Matters, by Gary ThomasLast week’s More Than Roommates – How to Stay Attracted & Attractive in Marriage
What do you do when you're not as physically attracted to your spouse—or when your body or theirs begins to change? In this episode of More Than Roommates, Derek, Gabrielle, and Scott discuss how to retrain your mind, feed your eyes on what is good, and build a marriage rooted in character, commitment, and mission—not just physical chemistry.Scriptures:MT 6:22-23MT 5:27-28PR 5:18-19PR 31:301 Sam 16:7 Questions to Discuss:1. What voices (shows, music, media, social media) are shaping your perception of attraction right now?2. Have either of you experienced changes in attraction during your marriage? How did you work through it?3. What practical steps could you each take to build gratitude and delight in your spouse?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott explore what it means to be on mission together as a couple. Whether you’re raising kids, leading a class, or serving behind the scenes, a shared purpose breathes life into your marriage and moves you from being just roommates to intentional partners in the gospel.Let us know if you have any feedback on these shorter/mini episodes! Scriptures:Ecc 4:9-12Acts 20:24Eph 2:10Eph 5:15-17 Questions to Discuss:1. How have you seen God use your unique gifts and passions together?2. How do you make room for each other to use the gifts God has given to you and your spouse?3. What does it look like for you and your spouse to be on mission together?4. Are there areas where you’re drifting into apathy instead of pursuing purpose?5. What small step could you take this week to be more intentionally on mission together?
In this episode, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss what it means to build an intentional marriage using four categories: what you want to know, be, do, and experience together. In this mini episode we encourage couples to dream together and define their marriage vision through Scripture, spiritual disciplines, and fun experiences.Let us know if you have any feedback on these shorter/mini episodes! Questions to Discuss:1. What do we want to KNOW about marriage, and about each other?2. What kind of people do we want to BE in our marriage (character, values)?3. What do we want to DO together—skills we want to learn or improve?4. What do we want to EXPERIENCE—trips, hobbies, or memory-making moments?5. Which Scripture could serve as a guiding verse for our marriage?Scriptures:1 Peter 3:7Gal 5:22-23Eph 4:2-32 Tim 2:4Acts 20:24Phil 2:1-11 Resources:MTR Episode 3 – The Biblical Vision and Picture of MarriageBook – Making Marriage Easier, by Arlene PellicaneBook – The Know/Be/Do/Experience framework comes from The Intentional Father, by Jon Tyson
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott talk about the importance of trust in marriage. Trust is foundational in any relationship, but especially in marriage. They discuss how past wounds—whether from family, friends, or former relationships—can deeply impact your ability to trust your spouse and experience true intimacy. Let us know if you have any feedback on these shorter/mini episodes! Scriptures Referenced:1 Peter 2:23-24James 1:19 Resources:Podcast Episode – More Than Roommates, Episode 61 – Trust: How to Build It and Restore ItBook – Trust: Knowing When to Give It, When to Withhold It, How to Earn It, and How to Fix It When It Gets Broken, Dr. Henry CloudVideo from the 2025 More Than Roommates Marriage Conference – The Importance of Trust in Marriage Questions to Discuss:1. When you hear something, do you trust it immediately or do you need to do some research to verify the truth?2. How do your past hurts (either from others or from your spouse) impact your relationship with your spouse?3. Is there any unresolved hurt in your life that might be affecting your marriage today?4. What are small ways your spouse has been trustworthy lately? Have you acknowledged or celebrated them?5. If you’ve been hurt, what’s one step you can take this week to move toward healing and trust?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott discuss the common habit of going to friends or a spouse before going to God for wisdom. While community is important, the best place to start is with the Lord. Scriptures:Matthew 6:33James 1:5Proverbs 3:5-6PR 19:11 Questions to Discuss:1. Who and what do you turn to when you’re looking for counsel and advice?2. Are you more of an internal or external processor? How about your spouse?3. What’s one decision you’re facing right now—and have you gone to God first? Resources:Sermon – Questions to Ask When Making Decisions, by Jonathan “JP” PokludaPodcast – More Than Roommates Episode 22 - Episode 22 - What Questions Can Help You Make Decisions in Marriage?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle, Derek, and Scott talk about how to keep your marriage healthy while walking through hard and difficult seasons in life (i.e., loss, illness, infertility, emotional strain). Through biblical truth and personal stories, they discuss how couples can remain unified, cultivate gratitude, and grow spiritually even in life’s darkest valleys and seasons. Scriptures:1 Cor 7:28John 16:33Luke 6:47-49PS 34:18Phil 4:4-7LamentationsJames 1:2-4Rom 8:28Gal 6:1-5 Questions to Discuss:1. What is one hard season we've already walked through together? How did it impact our relationship?2. Are we prepared for future trials? What could we be doing now to strengthen our marriage foundation?3. How do each of us typically respond to hardship—and how can we better support one another in those seasons?4. What role does gratitude or spiritual perspective play for us when life gets tough?5. Who is a couple we look up to who has walked through suffering well? What have we learned from them? Resources:Marriage Ministry – reengage (find a location near you)
Drew and Paige Greenway return for part two of their story on infertility, this time focusing on the spiritual lessons, marriage dynamics, and ministry they’ve embraced through their journey. Using the acrostic TRUST, they unpack teachability in trials, reliance on the Lord, unwavering unity, surrender to His will, and resting in God’s timing—all of which shaped their marriage and deepened their faith.Scriptures:Romans 5:2-5PS 34:182 Cor 12:7-10John 15:5Rom 12:10PR 3:5-6Ecc 3:11 Resources:Podcast - More Than Roommates Part 1 with Drew & Paige – Holding On Through the Heartache: A Story of Infertility & Hope – Apple, SpotifyWebsite & Resources – Julie Fowler MinistriesBible Study for Women - Treasures in the Waiting: Finding God’s Comfort, Counsel, and Companionship Amid Infertility and Repeat LossBible Study for Men - Navigating Infertility and Loss with Strength and HopeBook - When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing InfertilityQuestions to Discuss:1. Which part of the TRUST acronym resonated most with your current season of life or marriage?2. In what ways do you tend to take control instead of trusting God?3. How can you be more emotionally present for your spouse during a season of suffering?4. How can you better support friends who are walking through infertility or loss?
In this episode of More Than Roommates, Gabrielle and Scott interview Drew & Paige Greenway about their story of infertility and the challenges they’ve faced along the way Drew and Paige reflect on how these trials affected their faith, marriage, and understanding of God, while offering hope, empathy, and wisdom for others walking a similar path. Part 1 of 2.Scriptures:Gen 2:24Rom 12:15 Resources:Website & Resources – Julie Fowler MinistriesBible Study for Women - Treasures in the Waiting: Finding God’s Comfort, Counsel, and Companionship Amid Infertility and Repeat LossBible Study for Men - Navigating Infertility and Loss with Strength and HopeBook - When Empty Arms Become a Heavy Burden: Encouragement for Couples Facing Infertility Questions to Discuss:1. What stood out to you most from Drew and Paige’s story?2. How do we typically respond to suffering—in our relationship with God and each other?3. What role does empathy play when one spouse is grieving more visibly than the other?4. How can we better support couples in our community who are walking through infertility or loss?
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my fiance and I have been listening since day 1 and we love your topical conversations. We had the absolute pleasure of meeting Scott and Kristen at the weekender where they were guest speakers and it was incredible. I am a child of divorce and strive wholeheartedly to be a cycle breaker and to be the best husband to my pumpkin queen!