J & Courtney's In It Together: Mental Health & Healing Trauma

In this episode, J and I unpack what rescue parenting really is, how to recognize when you’re doing it, and how to start shifting from rescuing to regulating — so your child learns strength through connection, not dependency. It’s often rooted in our own nervous system ... that deep, protective part of us that remembers what it felt like to be alone, scared, or unsupported. So we overcompensate. We rush to rescue. We forget that our children build resilience through doing hard things, not through us preventing them. True safety isn’t built through rescue ... it’s built through relationship. Through sitting beside, not stepping in front of. Through saying, “I trust you can handle this,” and meaning it. TO DONATE TO THE PODCAST: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNMB3pleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHtNLVkuqFhyxwd09Eb2KDJXBRrR-G1SxsUboaS7RWk6raPyGrcoBeIFzqC_w_aem_E30S7Pr21KdOoJDSY-IJAQ TO JOIN OUR COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public    To get my parenting bundle on raising empowered children: https://shop.beacons.ai/ask.courtney/18bb58eb-1a6d-4a6c-8a75-cb5b625b3b1f  

In this episode, Courtney and J open up an honest and compassionate conversation about one of the most painful yet unspoken experiences families face today: parental estrangement. Together, we’ll explore why this is happening more frequently, what’s really going on beneath the surface, and how both parents and adult children can begin to understand — and possibly heal — the rupture. You’ll learn: The emotional and nervous system roots of estrangement Why “rejection” isn’t always rejection — sometimes it’s self-protection The hidden patterns that keep families stuck in pain cycles How parents can start doing their inner work to rebuild safety and trust What adult children need (but often don’t know how to ask for) This episode isn’t about blame. It’s about awareness, accountability, and the courage to heal what’s been generations in the making.   PRESALE for the WORKSHOP Bundle: https://buy.stripe.com/6oU9AS5Wyc814Xe59Y5Ne00   TO DONATE TO THE PODCAST: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNMB3pleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHtNLVkuqFhyxwd09Eb2KDJXBRrR-G1SxsUboaS7RWk6raPyGrcoBeIFzqC_w_aem_E30S7Pr21KdOoJDSY-IJAQ TO JOIN OUR COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

  The Power of Pause: Why Slowing Down Speeds You Up In our always-on, hyper-connected world, the simple act of pausing has become almost revolutionary. This episode explores the transformative benefits of intentionally creating space in your day, your conversations, and your decision-making. Discover how strategic pauses can sharpen your focus, reduce stress, and unlock deeper creativity. We'll dive into the science behind why our brains need regular breaks to process information and consolidate learning, and why the most productive people aren't the ones who never stop moving. Learn practical ways to integrate meaningful pauses into your routine—from the micro-moments between tasks to longer periods of rest and reflection. Whether you're facing a difficult decision, navigating a tense conversation, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the pace of life, the pause might be your most underrated tool. We'll also explore how pausing creates space for emotional regulation, improves the quality of your responses, and helps you move from reactive to intentional living. It's not about doing less—it's about creating the mental clarity to do what matters most. Ready to discover what happens when you stop rushing and start pausing? Tune in.   TO DONATE TO THE PODCAST: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNMB3pleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHtNLVkuqFhyxwd09Eb2KDJXBRrR-G1SxsUboaS7RWk6raPyGrcoBeIFzqC_w_aem_E30S7Pr21KdOoJDSY-IJAQ TO JOIN OUR COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

We talk a lot about nostalgia as something sweet—warm memories, the “good old days.” But for many people, looking back isn’t comforting, it’s activating. Traumatic nostalgia is what happens when revisiting your past doesn’t just bring memories, it pulls you back into the pain, the fear, or the helplessness of what you lived through. In this episode, I break down: What traumatic nostalgia really is (and how it’s different from bittersweet remembering). Why your mind and body can’t always tell the difference between “back then” and “right now.” How this shows up in everyday life—holidays, songs, childhood places, even old relationships. The nervous system’s role in dragging you into an old state of being. If you’ve ever felt confused about why certain memories hurt more than they heal—or why you long for something that was actually harmful—this episode will help you name it, understand it, and start to loosen its grip.   TO DONATE TO THE PODCAST: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNMB3pleHRuA2FlbQIxMQABHtNLVkuqFhyxwd09Eb2KDJXBRrR-G1SxsUboaS7RWk6raPyGrcoBeIFzqC_w_aem_E30S7Pr21KdOoJDSY-IJAQ TO JOIN OUR COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

  Have you ever found yourself overwhelmed, craving space, but instead of saying no—you overcommit, explode, or unconsciously push people away? This is the hidden face of subconscious sabotage. In this episode, we’ll explore: Why saying “no” can feel threatening—even when it’s what you desperately need. How old conditioning, trauma responses, and fear of rejection lead us to sabotage instead of setting boundaries. The subtle ways sabotage shows up: irritability, withdrawal, overexplaining, or self-criticism. Tools to practice pausing, naming your need for space, and communicating it clearly before sabotage takes over. This conversation is for anyone who feels trapped in the cycle of over-giving, shutting down, or unconsciously pushing people away when all you really needed was to say: I need space right now. By the end, you’ll see that sabotage isn’t weakness—it’s a signal from your nervous system pointing toward the boundary you’ve been afraid to set.  HELP SUPPORT THE PODCAST: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNKI4RleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETBBNUw4UjJXWHJBNk9CbTJJAR6y8aWdT127BmkKw5UDXmwYm5CFPU1K882hDO_BhtO2YgOH0CXjLCWqwRXJww_aem_Lhz_p9TU3dmw4sjZQqREcw JOIN OUR COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/c/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?view_as=public

Do you ever feel drained from caring so much? In this episode, I dive into the hidden cost of empathy—when our natural ability to tune into others’ feelings leaves us exhausted, resentful, or even numb. This isn’t about a lack of compassion; it’s about what happens when we carry the weight of everyone else’s emotions without knowing how to set boundaries or refill our own cup. Right now, in light of everything we’re witnessing as a society, empathy fatigue may be something you’re experiencing without even realizing it. The constant exposure to others’ pain—whether through the news, social media, or within our own families—can quietly wear us down.  HELP SUPPORT OUR COMMUNITY: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNKI4RleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETBBNUw4UjJXWHJBNk9CbTJJAR6y8aWdT127BmkKw5UDXmwYm5CFPU1K882hDO_BhtO2YgOH0CXjLCWqwRXJww_aem_Lhz_p9TU3dmw4sjZQqREcw TO JOIN OUR COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/c/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?view_as=public

  In this episode, I dive into Netflix’s documentary Unknown: High School Catfish and unpack the shocking story of Kendra Licari—the mother at the center of a case that blurred the lines between parent, predator, and manipulator. Together, we explore the psychology behind her actions, the ripple effects on her family and community, and what this story reveals about control, secrecy, and unresolved wounds. I’ll break down: The patterns of behavior that led to her unraveling The emotional and relational dynamics often overlooked in true crime narratives Key lessons we can take away about boundaries, self-awareness, and the shadow side of parenting This isn’t just about one woman’s actions—it’s about what happens when fear, shame, and control go unchecked. Tune in for a deeper analysis that goes beyond the headlines.  HELP SUPPORT OUR COMMUNITY: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNKI4RleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETBBNUw4UjJXWHJBNk9CbTJJAR6y8aWdT127BmkKw5UDXmwYm5CFPU1K882hDO_BhtO2YgOH0CXjLCWqwRXJww_aem_Lhz_p9TU3dmw4sjZQqREcw  #healing #trauma #parenting

We’re back! After two years of deep personal work—learning how to lead our own healing—we’re here again to share the journey with you. If you’ve missed us, know that we’ve missed you, too. In this episode, we dive into what it really means to lead yourself down your own healing path. From breaking cycles of trauma to managing anxiety and navigating mental health struggles, we explore how self-leadership opens the door to true transformation. This season is about honesty, growth, and practical tools for your healing journey. Whether you’re facing trauma recovery, struggling with anxiety, or searching for ways to reconnect with yourself, this podcast will give you support, insight, and encouragement. mental health, healing, trauma recovery, anxiety, self-growth, emotional resilience, nervous system regulation, self-healing, personal transformation.   TO JOIN OUR COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/c/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?view_as=public

In this very special episode, J and Courtney discuss shame from a different perspective. They talk about leaning into shame as the teacher and how shame can become your friend and not your keeper. If you are on your healing journey, then this is an episode you won't want to miss! Healing can be lonely and the last thing we want to feel is bad for exisiting. Shame isn't a useless or unhelpful emotion - shame can literally help you transform your life if you learn to listen to it correctly.    If you haven't already, please go and rate our podcast on Spotify, Apple, Amazon! We appreciate you!   TO JOIN THE ONLINE HEALING COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

One of the hardest journeys is that of healing - especially when you don't have anyone to support you through the process. What we begin to recognize is that everything is a choice. We are far more capable than we give ourselves credit for and when we can look within and pull from that power nothing is unachievable. If you are struggling to believe in yourself and you feel that you just can't, then this episode will change that for you!  HELP SUPPORT OUR COMMUNITY: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNKI4RleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETBBNUw4UjJXWHJBNk9CbTJJAR6y8aWdT127BmkKw5UDXmwYm5CFPU1K882hDO_BhtO2YgOH0CXjLCWqwRXJww_aem_Lhz_p9TU3dmw4sjZQqREcw TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY CICK thiS LINK: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

Do you hold on to relationships out of guilt? Do you feel a sense of responsibility for family members even if they have hurt you? If these sound familiar, you won't want to miss this episode because you are NOT alone. In this deeply raw episode, Courtney opens up deeper to share some of her most vulnerable emotions surrounding this exact topic. Together, J gently leads Courtney down the path of pain while she shares some of the most intimate painful moments that she's had surrounding the relationship with her biological father. If you're hurting, and you're holding on to that person, this episode may give you the support and permission that you need to finally let go.  HELP SUPPORT OUR COMMUNITY: https://in-it-together.castos.com/donate?_gl=1%2Anu0fye%2A_gcl_au%2AMTU2MDMwMTY3NS4xNzU2OTk2Njc1&fbclid=IwY2xjawNKI4RleHRuA2FlbQIxMABicmlkETBBNUw4UjJXWHJBNk9CbTJJAR6y8aWdT127BmkKw5UDXmwYm5CFPU1K882hDO_BhtO2YgOH0CXjLCWqwRXJww_aem_Lhz_p9TU3dmw4sjZQqREcw TO JOIN OUR HEALING COMMUNITY! -  https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

In this very special episode, J and Courtney sit down to have a deep conversation with Duygu Balan, LPCC, LMHC, and Dr. Yener Balan. Duygu is a psychotherapist and certified trauma professional, and for over a decade has cared for individuals and couples dealing with childhood trauma, attachment injuries, and grief. Yener Balan, MD, DFAPA is a board-certified psychiatrist and is currently the Vice President of Behavioral Health and Specialty Services for Kaiser Permanente, Northern California. The Balan's are the authors of the book, "Re-Write: A Trauma Workbook for Creative Writing and Recovery in our New Normal.  *TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY: \https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public    

Are you struggling with parenting? Are you having a  very hard time watching your children make decisions that could "hurt them"? Are you always worried that you have to step in, solve, and fix their problems? Do you have this underlying fear that something bad is going to happen so you're always on edge? If so, you may find this episode very helpful. J and Courtney discuss Rescue Parenting - Something Courtney struggled with for many years that resulted from her own childhood trauma. This episode will help you better understand why you're parenting the way that you are with some helpful tips to get you feeling confident in yourself and your children's ability to navigate their own lives.      TO JOIN the healing Community:  https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

In this very special episode, J and Courtney discuss the inner child but from a completely different perspective - a perspective not many talk about.  If you're on your healing journey, finding yourself triggered...ALOT, and just feel stuck then THIS is the episode for you! Healing is messy and won't be easy. As a matter of fact, it may be the hardest thing that you'll ever do. That's why we have this podcast and our healing community because no one should do it alone.  To join the healing community: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public   For podcast requests or if you'd like to be a guest, email us at: Podcasts@epicphanymedia.com    

Are you on your healing journey and just feel completely exhausted? You just don't have the energy or desire to do much of anything. When we are healing, we can get to this very poignant part of healing that Courtney calls, "Restful Healing" and it can be the most challenging place to be when you don't understand it. As a trained trauma counselor, Courtney has seen this in all of her clients and in her own personal journey.  In this very episode, J and Courtney discuss this concept in depth. If there's ever an episode that you will want to listen to, it is THIS one! It's real, raw, and relatable and will leave you feeling empowered.  TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY, go HERE: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public    

When we have trauma, we may find that we become highly reactive. This is why you just JUMP to the first emotion and ACT on it without having time to stop and think and DECIDE what your decision will be. In this episode, J and Courtney discuss reactivity on a very personal level. If you have trauma and are on your healing journey, this is going to be an upside that you'll want to save and listen to frequently. As we heal, our brains look at situations differently and we understand and integrate concepts much deeper.    TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public To find Courtney on other platforms: https://beacons.ai/ask.courtney

In this episode, J and Courtney recap the 4 agreements. This is the PERFECT episode if you're just looking to get a brief synopsis without all the fuss! Stay tuned because the next episode is on REACTIVITY! You won't want to MISS it!   TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

In this episode, J and Courtney discuss what it means to "do your best" based on the book, "The Four Agreements". Together, they pull apart the agreement and discuss it at a deeper level. Our best will always shift depending on how we are feeling. Your best today may be different tomorrow. If you're on your healing journey, then this episode will resonate and give you permission to have more compassion and grace on those tough days.  TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

In this episode, J and Courtney continue their quest to explore concepts from the book, "The Four Agreements". Together, they share their thoughts and experiences surrounding the concept of not assuming and how assuming will keep you stuck on your healing journey. When we assume, we base what we perceive as fact instead of information to process.  TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public

In this episode, J and Courtney discuss the importance of not taking things personally. Courtney, in the hot-seat, again...discusses how this has been one of the most challenging things to overcome. At times, she still struggles with it and is very candid about her journey with learning to let things go and be as they are.    Do you struggle with feeling as if everything is a personal attack? Does it feel like even positive constructive feedback hurts? If so, listen to this episode! Remember, we aren't ever alone - we are alone together!   TO JOIN THE HEALING COMMUNITY: https://www.patreon.com/InIttogetherHealingCommunity?fan_landing=true&view_as=public