School of Rock Bottom

What if addiction isn’t really about drugs - but about the feeling that you never truly belonged anywhere? Today, I sit down with Kyle Hall, whose story moves from growing up in an alcoholic home to crystal meth addiction, psychosis, and eight years of relapse before finally finding a way out.Kyle describes being a kid who didn’t fit in anywhere—not with the popular crowd, not even with the “weird kids.” That quiet disconnection, and the inability to express who he really was, became the foundation for everything that followed.What starts as food, pornography, and alcohol slowly escalates into something far darker, as he searches for identity, confidence, and escape in all the wrong places.We break down the progression most people never see. How drinking turns into drugs. How curiosity becomes dependency. And how, step by step, he ends up in a world of chemsex, isolation, and eventually injecting crystal meth—not as one reckless decision, but as a series of small ones that compound over time.From there, things unravel fast. Days without sleep. Paranoia. Hallucinations. A complete break from reality where he believes people are coming to kill him. And even then, the instinct is still the same—to drink, to use, to escape.But even at rock bottom, there are moments that cut through.One of them happens in an Uber, when a driver says something he never forgets: “You never finish alcohol. Alcohol finishes you.”Kyle speaks openly about eight years of trying to get sober and failing, and what finally changed when it stuck. Not a new method. Not a new environment. But a moment of complete surrender—and a decision to actually live the recovery he’d been around for years.We also explore the shift into spirituality. From rejecting faith completely to finding Jesus that gave him forgiveness, direction, and a way to rebuild.By the end, this isn’t a clean redemption story. It’s something more honest. A life rebuilt from chaos—now channelled into The Spiritual Pharmacy & Late Night Sober Cafe, sober community spaces designed to give people what he never had: connection, purpose, and somewhere to belong.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:00 A rock bottom moment that lasted months 6:45 A drug induced psychosis 16:45 Using food and cigarettes before drugs 20:20 Porn obsession 22:30 Falling in love with alcohol 24:45 Struggling with sexuality 27:00 From alcohol to injecting crystal meth 32:20 Breaking the relapse cycle 36:45 Doing The 12 Steps 39:15 Finding a spiritual solution?42:15 Kyle's sober events & spaces Follow Kyle Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/kylehallartisthttps://www.instagram.com/spiritualpharmaBuy tickets https://www.tickettailor.com/events/theenergyxchangecicFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://youtu.be/3XD8otGW9pMSpotify - https://tinyurl.com/yv6f57w8Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery#RockBottom#SobrietyJourney

Addiction is a liar. It convinces you that a drink or a drug will make you feel better — but that promise is one of the most dangerous lies in recovery.In this week’s quick thought, Oliver Mason explores why “feeling better now” is addiction’s most powerful trick, how relapse works, and why short-term relief always comes at a long-term cost.It’s a bit like a toxic ex who comes back promising things will be different — offering comfort, care, even hope — only for the cycle of harm to return later, often worse than before. Like someone who broke your nose, then has the audacity to say, “I’ll make you feel better.”Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzUApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #MentalHealth

The rock bottom myth can be dangerous because it sells the idea that everyone has to to wait for one dramatic, Hollywood moment. But what if it’s actually a slow burn… gradually losing yourself without even realising? Today I sit down with Emily Horwood to look at the reality of alcohol addiction, sobriety, relapse, and recovery. From blackouts as a parent, mixing alcohol and coke, to building a thriving sober community, this is a conversation about what it really takes to change your life. Emily is a former teacher, single mum, and psychology student who is now three years sober and helping others find connection beyond alcohol. Emily opens up about the slow burn of addiction, describing her rock bottom not as one explosive moment but as years spent “crawling along the bottom,” culminating in a terrifying blackout where she couldn’t remember putting her children to bed. It’s a stark reminder that suffering doesn’t always look dramatic from the outside.We explore the dangerous myths around what an “alcoholic” looks like, and why so many people delay getting help because their lives appear functional. Emily shares how societal drinking culture, particularly in her twenties, normalised behaviours that would later become deeply destructive, and how an abusive relationship compounded her loss of identity and self-worth.The conversation moves into recovery, beginning with one message that changed everything. Emily reflects on reaching out for help, attending her first meeting, and why desperation became the turning point. From 12-step programmes to online communities, sober curiosity, and building her own support networks, this episode highlights that there is no single path to recovery, only the one that works for you.They also speak candidly about relapse, the “yet” concept, and how quickly addiction can take hold again. Emily’s description of returning to drinking after 18 months sober is a sobering insight into the reality of addiction, and why ongoing connection and self-awareness are essential.Beyond sobriety, this episode is about growth. Emily shares how recovery has reshaped her identity, challenging long-held beliefs about who she was and uncovering a deeper sense of self. They discuss post-traumatic growth, the power of connection, and why building a meaningful life is about more than just removing alcohol.Emily also talks about creating Sober Walkers, a growing community built on connection and accountability, and her new project, The Connection Couch, which brings people together for real, honest conversations about recovery and growth in an increasingly disconnected world.If you’ve ever thought your drinking “isn’t bad enough,” this episode is a reminder that you don’t need to wait for things to fall apart. Change is possible, and it starts with being curious enough to ask the question.Support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e https://womensaid.org.ukhttps://refuge.org.ukThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:15 A rock bottom moment 5:15 My rock bottom wasn't dramatic 9:20 Drink, coke, fun and chaos 12:20 An abusive relationship drives addiction 15:15 What are the 'YETS' in recovery?19:30 What Emily tried first to get sober 22:20 What lies did addiction tell you?25:45 Only functioning on the outside27:45 How many meetings should you try?30:40 AA IS NOT THE ONLY WAY!35:15 Finding a sponsor and being of service 37:30 I couldn't accept I am alcoholic & relapse41:40 Quick fire questions!49:45 Sober Walkers & The Connection Couch54:30 Is my drinking bad enough yet!?Follow Emily Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stepping_on_the_sober_trainhttps://www.instagram.com/theconnectioncouchFollow Oliver https://linktr.ee/olivermasonWatch or listen here -YouTube - https://youtu.be/QGfL-OZDV5QApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #Sober

In this next thought, I revisit a previous conversation with Martin John about cocaine addiction, denial and the reality of where the road can lead. After nearly four decades around cocaine, Martin estimates spending close to £2 million on drugs and the lifestyle that came with it. What follows is a brutally honest reflection on how casual use can quietly escalate, why so many people convince themselves it’s harmless, and the hard truth about what cocaine actually brings into people’s lives.This is not about preaching or judging. It’s about lived experience. What starts as a “cheeky” line on a Friday night can slowly grow into something far bigger, often without the person realising it’s happening. Over time, the occasional gram becomes a weekly habit, the money disappears faster, and the consequences begin to show up in relationships, finances and mental health.The conversation also explores the uncomfortable gap between how people see themselves when they’re using and what is actually happening around them. Many users still believe they are in control, still believe they are successful, still believe nothing has really changed. Yet behind the scenes the reality can look very different: missed payments, strained families, lies, secrecy and a growing dependence that quietly takes hold.One of the most striking parts of this reflection is the blunt question: what does cocaine actually bring to the table? The answer offered here is simple. Nothing. No long-term gain, no real progress, and no success story that ends well for the user. Instead, the pattern often leads to the same place — confusion, loneliness and consequences that many never expected when they first started.The clip also touches on the difficult role of honesty in recovery. When people finally reach out for help, sometimes what they need most is not sympathy but clarity. A direct conversation. A moment where the illusion breaks and the reality of the situation becomes impossible to ignore. For some people, that moment can become the turning point.Recovery is possible. But the real work begins after the decision to stop. Maintaining change, rebuilding a life and staying honest with yourself is where the long-term challenge lies. That’s where support, community and purpose become essential.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODEYouTube - https://bit.ly/3UUTRHLSpotify - https://bit.ly/48Skd2IApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow Martin John Instagram -https://www.instagram.com/martinjohngetcleanTik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@martinjohngetcleanWebsite -https://www.martinjohngetclean.comBook - https://amzn.to/3OfmcVsFollow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#AddictionRecovery#CocaineAddiction#SchoolOfRockBottom

What role does spirituality play in recovery, and is it possible to stay sober for decades without it? Today, I sit down with Nigel to explore alcoholism, ego, fear, and the deeper search for meaning that often lies beneath addiction.At 38, Nigel had everything most people would call success - a family, a good job, a comfortable life. But inside, he was empty. Alcohol had been part of his life since he was twelve, and by his late thirties, it had taken away everything it once gave him.What followed was a complete shift in how he saw himself, addiction, and the world around him. He came to believe that the voice in his head - his ego - was at the root of his drinking, and that freedom came from learning to live beyond it.Nigel has been sober for over 30 years, but his recovery was never just about stopping drinking. For him, it became a profound shift in how he experiences life, identity, and connection. He describes alcoholism as an extreme form of ego, rooted in separation, self-hatred, and what he calls “suicide by instalments.” Looking back, Nigel recognises that much of his drinking arose from an early sense that life had no intrinsic meaning, a feeling he began noticing even as a child.In this conversation, Nigel takes us beyond conventional recovery talk. He explains how ego and alcoholism are intertwined, why active drinking is a slow form of self-destruction, and how the mind can construct bleak narratives to justify addictive behaviour. He explores the difference between illusion and reality, revealing why joy is always present even beneath fear. Viewing recovery through a spiritual lens, Nigel shows how seeing ourselves as connected to God - or a higher source - can reshape how we live, how we relate to others, and how we understand ourselves. He introduces a non-dual perspective, highlighting our inherent divinity, equality, and connection to all, and he challenges common fears around death, suggesting that embracing the eternal present can bring lasting peace.Whether or not you share his spiritual perspective, this episode offers a profound and thought-provoking look at what it takes to recover, find meaning, and stay sober long-term. It’s an episode that will make you rethink fear, joy, and the true nature of connection.Today you will learn of what happens when you stop chasing happiness out there… and start looking for it within. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 2:50 A rock bottom moment 5:10 What was the emptiness inside?6:15 Why did Nigel start drinking at age 12?8:30 Alcoholic at 15?9:30 Using the label as a reason to drink more 10:30 High Functioning alcoholism?14:20 Why did Nigel stop drinking?15:00 Chronic/terminal uniqueness 16:40 How Nigel got sober 21:45 Inverted narcissism?22:30 Is Nigel cured?23:45 Removing EGO and become ONE 30:10 A "God shaped" hole?34:15 Does Nigel need a spiritual solution?37:30 A Course In Miracles 39:00 EGO VS ALCOHOLISM41:00 Why fear isn't real!43:00 Joy is always available 44:45 Why Nigel isn't scared of death47:30 Why Nigel needs God to be sober Follow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Watch or listen here -YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/mrxhpkr3Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/2p8hhtfApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #Sober

Addiction tells one of its most convincing lies long before recovery even begins: that the problem will never leave you. In this next thought, Oliver Mason challenges the fear that sobriety means a lifetime of daily battle. If you’ve ever wondered whether recovery actually gets easier - or whether the voice in your head ever quietens - this conversation cuts straight through myth, shame and misconception to reveal what really happens when someone commits to change.This explores the moment many people get stuck: recognising there is a problem but believing it will never go away. Oliver reframes addiction not as an unbeatable enemy but as something that loses power when recovery is properly supported. From therapy and structured programmes to peer fellowship communities we examine why connection - not willpower - changes outcomes.Using vivid storytelling, Oliver dismantles the fantasy many people secretly hope for: that addiction can simply be eliminated overnight, metaphorically dragged down an alleyway and thrown into the River Thames forever. Instead, he explains how long-term recovery works in reality. The obsession doesn’t vanish dramatically; it becomes distant, contained and manageable. For those early in sobriety who feel overwhelmed, this perspective offers reassurance that the intensity of the early days does not last forever.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzUApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#podcast #recovery #alcoholaddiction

Harrison Ward, also known as Fell Foodie, drank more than 20 pints a day, smoked like a chimney, battled clinical depression in silence and reached a moment where he believed there were only two ways out. Today I sit down with the man behind the outdoor cooking phenomenon to unpack addiction, withdrawal, mental health and the decision that saved his life. Harrison shares the reality behind addiction, drinking culture and the hidden loneliness of high-masking depression. From working in pubs while drinking heavily to climbing a mountains during withdrawal, this is a raw exploration of what happens when escape stops working and honesty begins.Together they explore why alcohol can feel like medicine before it becomes a prison, how depression can quietly shape behaviour from teenage years onwards, and why many people suffer in silence long before anyone notices. Harrison speaks openly about peer pressure, shame, identity and the fear of speaking honestly about mental health, especially growing up in environments where vulnerability felt impossible.Harrison explains how sobriety allowed him to rediscover purpose through food, nature and creativity, cooking restaurant-quality meals on remote mountainsides and sharing hope with thousands online. Oliver and Harrison also discuss cravings, withdrawal, rebuilding self-worth, going public about sobriety and the practical options available for anyone struggling with alcohol or depression today. If you or someone you love is struggling, this conversation offers honesty without judgement and hope without clichés.Now, over 9 years sober, Harrison has fused his love of food with the healing power of the outdoors. He’s hiking the fells of Cumbria and cooking restaurant quality meals on a simple camp stove in the mountains, and sharing his story to show others that recovery is possible.He’s been featured on the BBC with Mary Berry, Channel 5’s ‘Winter on the Farm’, Countryfile Magazine, Men’s Fitness, and more. He’s a bestselling author, a keynote speaker, and a brand ambassador. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! T-Shirt from The Recovery Cartel -www.therecoverycartel.co.ukhttps://www.instagram.com/therecoverycartelPodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:30 A rock bottom moment 5:20 Using alcohol to escape 7:30 Depression as a teenager 10:30 Mental health was not talked about before 11:45 Drinking 20 pints a day!16:40 Was Harrison a high functioning alcoholic?19:00 Is high functioning addiction worse?22:50 The moment I decided to stop drinking 28:30 Moderation and doing a geographical 36:00 Withdrawal and depression 40:00 Climbing a mountain in withdrawal!45:20 From hurting to healing 47:40 Dealing with cravings & peer pressure 51:45 Finding passion for cooking 54:00 Going public about sobriety 56:45 Options for help to go sober and fighting depression Follow HarrisonWebsite - https://www.fellfoodie.co.ukInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/fellfoodie Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/fellfoodie/YouTube – https://www.youtube.com/FellFoodieTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@fellfoodieTwitter - https://twitter.com/FellFoodieFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Watch/Listen -YouTube - https://youtu.be/7UW29Hp7rBYSpotify - https://tinyurl.com/djmdvpjrApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #Sobriety #MentalHealth

This episode is for anyone who has tried to stop drinking and found themselves right back where they started. In this next quick thought, I -Oliver Mason - revisit a conversation with Issy Hawkins on what relapse actually looked like for me, why “relapse is part of recovery” never rang true for me, and the moment when the fight finally stopped. What unfolds is not a neat recovery story but a real one. A journey marked by chaos, embarrassment, failed attempts, and a deep resistance to the very thing that ultimately worked. From celebrating sobriety milestones with a drink to being kicked out of meetings for turning up drunk, this conversation strips away the romance and speaks plainly about addiction as illness, not weakness. It also challenges the idea that you can think or muscle your way out of something that thrives on isolation. At its core, this clip is about connection. Why trying to recover alone can quietly keep you stuck, how helping others can drain the power out of a drinking thought, and why the word “we” can be the difference between staying sober and sliding back. If you’re questioning whether there’s a way out, or if you recognise yourself in any part of this story, this is one to sit with.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/4cFvnIyYouTube - https://bit.ly/3Ts8npRApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow IssyTik Tok - https://www.tiktok.com/@issyhawkins_Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/issyhawkins_Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#podcast #recovery #alcoholaddiction

When I first saw Johnny Lawrence’s documentary The Slavery of Addiction, I knew I had to speak with him. Johnny grew up in fear - beaten by his father, bullied for his skin colour and convinced he’d never be enough. Alcohol seemed to be the perfect medicine. Together we explore one of the most misunderstood aspects of trauma and addiction: acceptance. Johnny shares a deeply personal account of confronting his abusive father as an adult, the moment he realised the abuse was not his to carry, and why walking away became an act of self-preservation rather than bitterness. What follows is an honest conversation about emotional responsibility, identity and the cost of waiting for people to change when they are incapable of doing so.Johnny explains why trying to “process the past” often keeps people trapped, and why accepting emotions, rather than events, became the turning point in his recovery. He challenges common narratives around forgiveness, making a clear distinction between accepting how something made you feel and excusing what was done to you. This episode explores how anger, guilt, and helplessness often replace one another, and how alcohol can become a way to survive emotions that feel unbearable at the time.The conversation also reframes addiction in a way many people have never heard before. Johnny speaks openly about being grateful to alcohol, not as something to glorify, but as an honest acknowledgement that it once served a purpose. Together, we discuss why substances are often solutions before they become problems, why sobriety is about freedom rather than restriction, and how focusing on what you want instead of what you’re avoiding can change everything.This episode is essential listening for anyone struggling with trauma, addiction, or the pressure to forgive before they are ready. It offers a grounded, compassionate perspective on recovery, accountability, and what it really means to let go of what was never yours to begin with.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! T-Shirt from The Recovery Cartel -www.therecoverycartel.co.ukhttps://www.instagram.com/therecoverycartelPodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:20 A rock bottom moment 10:20 Escaping violence as a child 13:35 The brain learns it needs alcohol to survive 15:20 Dyslexia & being mixed race shapes Johnny's experience 20:20 Trying alcohol for the first time 25:20 Alcohol becomes a replacement for life 28:35 Making peace with the abuse 33:05 Processing the emotional imprints & acceptance 34:50 Stop focusing on not drinking alcohol!36:20 What about forgiveness?42:05 Why I'm grateful to alcohol 46:0l20 Alcohol becomes the solution 47:50 People will tell you you don't have a problem!49:35 How did Johnny get sober?52:05 Dealing with alcohol cravings 57:05 The sober journey Follow Johnny The Slavery of Addiction - https://youtu.be/8j3Nq_lcFlY?feature=shared Website - https://www.johnnylawrence.co.ukInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/theselfdevelopmentcoachFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - Spotify - Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #Sobriety#Recovery#MentalHealth

In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with rehab manager Raffa as we challenge the stereotype of what “rock bottom” really means.It’s not always losing your job, your home, or your relationships. Sometimes it’s quieter — a loss of self-respect, a look of disappointment from someone you love, or the moment you realise you can’t keep living the way you are.Drawing on decades of frontline recovery experience, this conversation explores the many forms rock bottom can take — and why it’s often an internal turning point rather than a public collapse.We also tackle a common myth: that rehab is only for a certain “type” of person. Addiction doesn’t discriminate — and getting help is not weakness, it’s courage.You don’t need to lose everything or wait to hit a stereotypical 'rock bottom' to change — recovery begins when you can no longer ignore the pain.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3YMYyWCYouTube - https://bit.ly/3X0RJzqApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow RaffaInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/creative_recovery_workshopsFollow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#rehab #addiction #recovery

He technically died twice. He survived Borstal, homelessness, decades of speed and cocaine, five heart attacks, and 29 days in a coma after a triple heart bypass went wrong. His life was saved by Dr Hasnat Khan, who was close to Princess Diana, and he came back sober, creative, and unstoppable. This is Garry Johnson, the punk poet, street journalist, and man who discovered the Stone Roses, telling his story like no one else can. From the chaos of Fleet Street tabloids to the highs of punk rock and the life-threatening lows of addiction, Garry shares the moments that nearly ended him—and how he survived them all.We explore the drug-fuelled confidence that once drove his creativity, the trauma that shaped his choices, and the health crises that should have stopped him. Garry talks honestly about losing his daughter, why caffeine now acts as a trigger, and the hard truth about why addiction rarely ends when the body starts screaming for change.Since quitting, Garry has transformed his life: seven books published, albums released, screenplays written, and stage performances performed sober. He reflects on creativity without drugs, lessons learnedand what he would tell his grandchildren about drugs. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypal Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 2:30 A rock bottom moment 5:00 Speed helps him become a writer6:45 Abuse in children's home & Borstal 7:45 Using speed & creativity to deal with anger12:00 Coke and speed gave me confidence 13:30 Why speed was my favourite 16:00 Dependancy starts 21:15 Cocaine calmed me down and helped me survive?22:45 Garry has his first heart attack 24:30 Paranoia & anxiety 28:15 Nearly dying was the wake up call30:30 Now I don't even drink coffee!32:00 I kept using in between heart attacks 34:30 Getting clean and career takes off 36:00 Do drugs make you more creative?39:00 Garry discovered The Stone Roses?41:00 A true story about Ozzy Osbourne!42:30 Now a story about Robbie Williams!45:15 Would Garry change the past if he could?Follow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds Please subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/bkcdz6b6Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/yevxvc36Apple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3 #AddictionRecovery #CocaineAddiction #SchoolOfRockBottom

In this next thought, I revisit a simply amazing conversation with Mark Shenton as we explore the essential conversation around pornography, sex addiction, dopamine, and the search for validation. Drawing from lived experience, this episode examines how early exposure to porn can quietly shape identity, self-worth, and behaviour, and why so many people struggle in silence. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with sex, porn, or compulsive behaviours, this is an honest, grounded reflection that may challenge how you think about addiction and recovery.This conversation looks at pornography not as a moral issue, but as a powerful neurological and emotional stimulus. We discuss how constant access can distort expectations around sex, intimacy, and body image, particularly for young people still forming a sense of self. The episode explores how porn can act as an entry point into more compulsive behaviours, how tolerance builds over time, and why the brain often cannot distinguish between digital stimulation and real human connection.There is also a candid discussion about objectification, shame, and validation. How the pursuit of approval through sex can feel like relief in the moment, yet leave deeper emptiness afterwards. How dopamine highs mirror other addictions, followed by anxiety, depression, and regret. And how blurred boundaries between fantasy and reality can escalate behaviour in ways people never expected or planned.Importantly, this episode does not stay in the problem. It speaks openly about recovery, meetings, and the quiet power of sharing honestly with others who understand. It reflects on love addiction, emotional attachment, and the difference between intimacy and intensity. It also highlights how meaning and stability can slowly replace compulsive coping mechanisms through connection, service, and telling the truth about our experiences.This is not a sensational story. It is a human one. A reminder that addiction often begins as an attempt to soothe pain, that many people are walking similar paths behind closed doors, and that help exists long before things fall apart completely. If this resonates, you are not alone, and you do not have to work it out by yourself.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3WCXK5sYouTube - https://bit.ly/3Ytj4f7Apple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eFor anyone struggling with these topics Mark suggests reaching out to -SLAA - https://slaauk.orgPodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow MarkX - https://x.com/ShentonStageInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/shentonstageFollow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#pornaddiction #slaa #recovery

Have you ever walked past someone sleeping rough, visibly unwell, clearly addicted to drugs, and written them off without a second thought? Today, I'm joined by Charlotte Seaman to explore one of most confronting addiction stories you will hear. From heroin and crack addiction to prison, psychosis, sex work, assault and homelessness, Charlotte’s journey shows the brutal reality of severe drug addiction and the possibility of recovery when all hope feels lost. If you or someone you love is struggling with addiction, trauma, or relapse, this conversation may be the one that unlocks a door. Charlotte was born into a loving home, yet by the age of 11 she was already using drugs and being arrested. At 13, following a sexual assault, her life escalated rapidly into violence, incarceration, and heavy substance use. What followed was an 18-year descent through crack, heroin, injecting, snowballing, repeated prison sentences, homelessness, and eventually a full psychotic breakdown. This episode shows what it really looks like when drugs take everything.Together, Oliver and Charlotte explore the link between childhood trauma and self-medication, how addiction progresses when left untreated, and why mixing stimulants and depressants can become so compelling and so dangerous. Charlotte speaks openly about using heroin then methodone during pregnancy under medical supervision, smoking spice in prison, living on the streets, and the shame and guilt that followed her for years. This is an honest conversation about accountability, consequences, and forgiveness in recovery.Most importantly, this episode is about how Charlotte finally got clean and sober, the role recovery programmes played in saving her life, and what it means to rebuild after nearly two decades lost to addiction. Now over a year clean, Charlotte has become a recovery advocate with more than 100,000 followers online and has been recognised with a High Sheriff Award for turning her life around. Her story challenges stereotypes and offers hope to those who feel they have gone too far to ever come back.This is a difficult but deeply hopeful episode about responsibility and redemption without clichés. If you believe addiction is a moral failing, this conversation may change your mind. If you’re struggling right now, it may remind you that recovery is possible — even after everything has fallen apart. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK, support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773e Thank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off! Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you! https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Topics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:00 A rock bottom moment5:10 Alcohol and drugs from 117:45 Not feeling good enough 8:45 Charlotte goes off the rails 10:30 The aftermath of sexual assault 11:30 Charlotte goes to prison 12:35 Why did Charlotte commit assault and self-forgiveness?16:30 Smoking spice in prison18:00 Escalation to snowballs 20:00 Living on the streets 22:00 Using methadone during pregnancy 25:15 Methadone & Heroin withdrawal 28:30 Unmanageable & powerless 30:30 The internal snap33:00 Addiction leaves me vulnerable 34:00 Why sharing rock bottom moments saves lives!36:15 How Charlotte found recovery 39:00 Are you in recovery if you take Methadone?41:50 The 12 steps saved my life 43:00 Recovery is more powerful than addiction 44:15 Can ANYONE addicted to drugs make it back?!46:30 Abstince from EVERYTHING?!48:15 TikTok is Step 12?49:15 Charlotte wins The Sheriff Award51:45 An emotional but hopeful end Follow Charlotte Tiktok - https://www.tiktok.com/@charlottesrecoveringInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/charlotteseaman11Follow Oliverhttps://linktr.ee/olivermasonWatch/listen here YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/yb54peseApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3

Dry January is often framed as a health reset, but for many people it becomes something far bigger. In this next quick thought, I revisit a conversation with Sober Dave recorded at the most emotionally charged point of the year, we hear how one message on the 7th of January changed the direction of an entire life. Hungover, grieving, overweight and stuck in a cycle that felt impossible to escape, Dave was invited into a three-month break from drinking. Not as an intervention. Not as a warning. Simply as support. What followed wasn’t just sobriety, but clarity, momentum and the first glimpse of a different future.Dry January works because it removes judgement. It gives people permission to pause without having to explain themselves. In this conversation, we explore why Dry January creates that rare psychological space, why stopping “just for a month” can unlock deeper questions, and why curiosity is far more powerful than willpower. This episode speaks directly to anyone who has tried Dry January before, anyone questioning their relationship with alcohol, or anyone who has wondered what might happen if they didn’t go back to drinking at the end of the month.This clip goes beyond counting days. It looks at what actually helps people stay stopped: community, education, self-investment and honest reflection. From weight loss and better sleep to rebuilding self-worth and identity, this is a reminder that meaningful change rarely comes from pressure or shame. It starts when someone feels invited rather than told.If Dry January has ever made you quietly ask, “What would my life look like if I kept going?”, this episode is for you.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODEYouTube - https://bit.ly/3VSPOw9Spotify - https://bit.ly/402S5HsApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver & Dave are ambassadors for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow Sober DaveInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/soberdaveWebsite - https://www.soberdave.co.ukPodcast - Search "One For The Road" on all platforms Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#SoberLiving #DryJanuary #AlcoholRecovery

Ryan Phillips shares his recovery from cocaine addiction with over 65,000 followers on TikTok. In this conversation, he describes the moment his cocaine use finally collapsed under the weight of truth. After days awake on coke, surrounded by smashed glass and blood, Ryan was found by his sister while his young niece waited outside. Hearing that his niece had become frightened of him became the wake-up call that ended the secrecy and forced honesty to begin. We talk openly about addiction, cocaine recovery, relapse, accountability and what happens when denial finally breaks.Ryan is a recovery and wellness advocate and the founder of The Deep End, a community offering therapy, coaching, yoga, meditation and breathwork. With a background in the music industry, he speaks candidly about cocaine addiction, dry sniffing, ADHD, fantasy as escapism, and the slow, uneven reality of getting clean. He reflects on growing up using imagination as refuge, moving from weed to cocaine, and how addiction tightens its grip quietly rather than all at once.We explore the myth of the dramatic turning point, the cycle of stopping and starting, and why willpower alone never worked. Ryan explains how speaking the truth out loud became the real shift, how NA, CBT and therapy each played different roles, and why sharing publicly on TikTok helps him stay clean. We also discuss whether relapse is part of recovery, why counting days and chips can sometimes do more harm than good, and how to navigate New Year’s Eve without cocaine.This is not a story about instant change or neat endings. It is a grounded conversation about patience, responsibility and learning to live without escape. If you are questioning your relationship with drugs, wondering whether cocaine has started to control you, or trying to understand what recovery actually looks like day to day, this episode will meet you where you are.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 3:00 A rock bottom moment 12:00 The loop of being in and out of recovery13:45 Using fantasy as a child to escape 17:00 Moving from weed to coke 19:30 Cocaine starts to get it's claws in 21:45 Will everyone who takes coke get addicted? 25:00 ADHD & dry sniffing?26:45 Ryan's recovery journey 32:00 NA, CBT & Therapy34:15 Why TikTok helps Ryan stay clean 36:10 Sponsor37:10 Does Ryan use old videos as reminders?38:45 What do the public want from Ryan?42:15 What is The Deep End?46:00 Is relapse part of recovery?48:15 Counting days & chips arent useful?!50:00 How do you stay away from drugs on New Years Eve?52:15 New Years Eve/Day is just another day?54:00 Patience & gratitude 57:15 Recovery or recovered?58:15 What do you want written on your gravestone?Follow RyanWebsite -https://www.wearethedeepend.comTikTok -https://www.tiktok.com/@ryaninrecoveryInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/ryan_thedeependFollow OliverInstagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpdsPlease subscribe, follow, like, leave a review and comment! YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/yc7zr7t9Spotify - https://tinyurl.com/4j6hy2wfApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3#CocaineRecovery#AddictionRecovery#RecoveryPodcast

Staying sober through the festive season can feel like walking a tightrope with no safety net, especially when the mind starts whispering those familiar lies that have dragged so many people back to day one. In this next quick thought, I revisit an old episode and the most dangerous relapse lie “just one won’t hurt". If you’re trying to stay clean and sober one day at a time, this short episode will hit exactly where you need it.Addiction crafts believable lies, how denial disguises itself as control, and why comparing your drinking or using to someone “worse” keeps you trapped. I unpack the real meaning of powerlessness, why it has nothing to do with quantity or frequency, and how the smallest decision can trigger a cascade of consequences that affect consumption, timekeeping, behaviour, mood and mental health. Remember, powerlessness starts when you take that first drink or drug. We look at the internal logic of relapse, the moments where people convince themselves that this time will somehow be different, and the reason relapse often begins days or weeks before the physical act. Through humour, honesty and lived experience, I show how these patterns play out in real life and why understanding this lie one tool to long-term recovery.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3RmMvu8YouTube - https://bit.ly/3NuVwzUApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#relapseprevention#recovery #alcoholaddiction

Today's conversation with Serena Palmer goes straight to the heart of addiction, ADHD, success and collapse, and the hidden world of high-achieving professionals who are fighting battles no one can see. If you’ve ever wondered how someone can lead global teams, excel in a corporate role, appear entirely in control, and still be unravelling behind the scenes, this episode will speak to you. We explore late ADHD diagnosis, the link between neurodiversity and alcohol misuse. Behind the titles, she was privately battling a late ADHD diagnosis, escalating drinking, and cycles of alcoholic psychosis. Today she’s 2 years sober, deeply grounded in the work of recovery, and helping individuals and organisations understand neurodiversity, addiction, and human potential in a far more honest way.We walk through the earlier years too: the roots of self-medication, the dopamine-seeking patterns that began with sugar and the early risk-taking. Serena explains how ADHD can push high performers into dangerous coping mechanisms and why adults diagnosed later in life are statistically far more vulnerable to addiction. Here’s the reality: adults with ADHD are three times more likely to develop addiction, and if they’re diagnosed later in life, up to 60% are already battling substance issues. Among high achievers, 1 in 10 hides an addiction behind their success and around 1 in 4 will battle it at some point in their lives. We also discuss the end of an eighteen-year relationship, the impact of redundancy, the pressures of corporate travel, and the ways high achievers can hide addiction in plain sight. Serena brings clarity to how these dynamics fuel dependence and why some of the most capable, driven people can find themselves on the edge without ever realising how far they’ve fallen.Before we close, Serena shares clear, practical advice for anyone trying to stay clean and sober through Christmas and offers insight for anyone who looks successful on the outside but feels like they’re collapsing internally. This is a conversation about reality, responsibility, hope and the possibility of change—delivered with truth, depth and humanity.If you’ve ever battled addiction, questioned your relationship with alcohol, lived with ADHD, or struggled to square your internal world with the life people assume you’re living, this episode will stay with you.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode! Visit -www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro 4:00 A rock bottom moment 10:30 Would you rewrite history if you could?14:00 Why Serena needed pain to stop drinking 15:00 Enabling, toxic relationships & masking 18:30 Self medicating undiagnosed ADHD 22:00 Emotional dysregulation & RSD26:00 Nicotine, smoking and ADHD28:00 Daydreaming and fantasy 31:30 Workaholism?33:00 Rehab and coming out of denial 39:00 Getting excited about recovery 41:50 Using hyperfocus in recovery 44:30 Cocaine Anonymous 48:20 Sponsor49:20 Are you born with ADHD?50:20 How addiction and ADHD interact 53:30 Tips to stay sober at XmasFollow SerenaWebsite -https://www.serena.consultingInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/thereal_hrcoachSTRAIGHT OUTTA REHABhttps://amzn.eu/d/fmvl89UMY TWO BRAINS AND MEhttps://amzn.eu/d/6p88BoMFollow OliverIG - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFB - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpdsAlso WATCH here YouTube - https://tinyurl.com/229ndvfk#AddictionRecovery#AlcoholFree#SobrietyJourney

In this next quick thought, I revisit a moment with Rupert Hill as we explore one of the most misunderstood drivers of alcohol dependence: the moment your brain learns that “hair of the dog” removes discomfort. It feels harmless, even cultural, but for many it is the point where drinking shifts from enjoyment to compulsion. In this clip, we break down how the cycle begins, why it escalates so quickly, and how a seemingly small decision can shape years of someone’s life. If you’ve ever questioned your relationship with alcohol, this conversation will give you clarity.We discuss the biology behind withdrawal, the deceptive logic of “just one to take the edge off,” and the moment when drinking stops being about feeling good and becomes about trying to feel normal. We look at how routine behaviour becomes dependence, how high-functioning drinkers hide it in plain sight, and how life slowly reorganises itself around the next drink. This is a candid exploration of compulsion, secrecy and the mental burden of planning a day around alcohol.You will also hear how everyday situations become logistical challenges when you cannot be away from a drink, why mornings become the most dangerous time, and how the brain’s survival instincts can quietly drive destructive habits. It is an honest account of progression, denial and the tipping points people rarely talk about.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/3zqqR2JYouTube - https://bit.ly/45UHYWvApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQ About the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. For anyone struggling with these topics Rupert suggests reading Alcohol Explained by William Porter. Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow RupertInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/rupertsinclairhillTwitter/X - https://x.com/RupertHill Follow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#functioningalcoholic #recovery #alcoholaddiction

There are some stories that force you to rethink everything you believe about addiction. This is one of them. Terry Devine was five years old when a teacher humiliated him in front of a class — a single moment that buried him in shame so deep he carried it for decades. That shame became the soil everything else grew from: the drinking, the chaos, the emotional collapse, and eventually heroin. Not because he wanted to get high, but because heroin felt like a parent he never had. Warm. Safe. Comforting. Until it wasn’t.In this conversation, Terry reveals the parts of addiction that almost never make it into public view. The night he pushed a burning poker into his own arm. The moment heroin stopped working and withdrawal hit with a force that made death feel easier. The sickening realisation that he was no longer chasing pleasure — only running from pain. And the brutal truth that there are two kinds of rock bottom: the physical one everyone imagines, and a far more dangerous spiritual one that no one can see coming.Terry talks openly about how undiagnosed ADHD shaped everything: the impulsivity, the emotional intensity, the constant sense of being wrong in his own skin. He explains why he believes ADHD is one of the most overlooked drivers of early substance use, and how it became the invisible gateway that made heroin feel inevitable.What Terry describes here is the real machinery of addiction: the obsession that silences logic, the withdrawals that feel like your insides are being torn out, the distortion of identity, and the terrifying moment when a person realises they’ve crossed a line they can’t uncross. He explains how shame becomes a worldview, how trauma rewrites the brain, and how addiction convinces you that you are beyond saving long before anyone else realises you're in trouble.And then, somehow, he rebuilt a life and you'll find out exactly how he did it. Terry met the love of his life in recovery and learn how they both stayed sober during tragedy, why the 12 steps having only small success rate is false, why and how cross addiction happens, how heroin lead him to alcohol and what it really means to be clean and sober. More on Terry -Today, he’s a lecturer in forensic science at the University of the West of England, a clinical addiction hypnotherapist, a recovery coach, and the founder of Devine Recovery Solutions. He’s dedicated to helping others break free from addiction.Terry is also a committed fundraiser in memory of his son, climbing mountains and volcanoes across the world — from Ecuador to Kilimanjaro. He’s now approaching 13 yrs clean and sober.Oliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK - support here: https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773eThank you to Gavin Sisters for sponsoring this episode!www.gavinsisters.co.uk and use promo code SCHOOLOFROCKBOTTOM for 10% off!Podcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalTopics -0:00 Trailer & Intro4:40 A rock bottom moment 9:30 Shame, not feeling good enough and heroin14:35 If drugs are the answer what is the question?15:00 ADHD was the gateway drug 18:10 Alcohol to heroin was fast 21:30 Heroin withdrawal 25:15 Heroin addiction leads to stealing 27:00 Addiction Vs dependency 28:40 Cross addiction & relapse 32:20 Do you have to give up all drugs?33:20 How did Terry get clean and sober?37:30 12 Steps has a 5% success rate?41:30 Staying sober during tragedy48:30 Embracing vulnerability & courage 50:20 Sponsor 51:20 Can you have a relationship early in recovery?Follow Terry Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/terry__devineTikTok - https://www.tiktok.com/@terry_devineFollow Oliverhttps://linktr.ee/olivermasonYouTube - https://tinyurl.com/5amc8jttSpotify - https://spoti.fi/3Z0Pr1rApple - https://tinyurl.com/y3n2chk3#AddictionRecovery#HeroinSurvivor#MentalHealthAwareness

What happens when love turns into obsession and connection becomes dependency? In this next quick thought, I revisit one of the most revealing moments from the podcast with Livvie May. This is an honest conversation about sex and love addiction, fear of abandonment, obsessive attachment, and the emotional patterns that quietly shape who we choose and why. If you have ever lost yourself in someone else or found yourself repeating the same relationships, this clip will feel uncomfortably familiar and deeply important.We explore how relationships turn into sex and love addiction, how obsession can mask itself as intensity, and why the same relationship pattern can repeat itself for years. The conversation examines the fear of abandonment that drove her choices, the distress of losing her identity within someone else, and the moment she realised she had been shaping relationships around control, shame and fear. It also follows the three-week relationship cycle she found herself trapped in, the grief that reshaped her understanding of connection, and the moment of clarity that arrived when she stepped into sobriety.Listen or watch THE FULL EPISODESpotify - https://bit.ly/4euLvi3YouTube - https://bit.ly/3XrV0ZjApple - https://apple.co/3PajZvQAbout the “THOUGHT” series -Every other Monday at 5 PM, I’ll bring you a quick ‘thought’—a powerful moment from previous episodes designed to kickstart your week with insight, motivation, and connection. These shorter clips help us stay connected as a community, while every other Tuesday delivers a full, brand-new episode with fresh stories and lessons. For anyone struggling with these topics Livvie suggests reaching out to: SLAA - https://slaauk.orgOliver is an ambassador for Alcohol Change UK and you can access support here - https://tinyurl.com/5dt5773ePodcasting is an expensive passion. To help me keep going, I'd really appreciate it if you could buy me a coffee, thank you!https://buymeacoffee.com/olivermason1Or via PayPal - https://www.paypal.me/olivermason1paypalFollow LivvieInstagram - https://www.instagram.com/maylivvieFollow Oliver Instagram - https://tinyurl.com/2vt29sjvFacebook - https://tinyurl.com/34cwz59rTikTok - https://tinyurl.com/ujw4vxn9LinkedIn - https://tinyurl.com/yuemhnd7Threads - https://tinyurl.com/yk7vdeahX - https://tinyurl.com/3u5mnpds#loveaddiction #slaa #recovery