Not Alone

A four-year-old boy who can't sit still for circle time used to just be a four-year-old boy. Now it's an evaluation, a diagnosis, a meeting where you nod politely and then cry in the car. That's where this conversation started, and it's the one I've been wanting to have for a long time. I'm a mother of three boys, and Dr. Michael Milobsky said the thing I've felt in my body for years: most of the boys who end up in his office are completely normal. The label is the problem, not the boy. He's a pediatrician of thirty years and a father of seven, and he told me he learned more from raising his own kids than from any of his training. He changed my mind on things I walked in sure about, which I don't say often. We get into why our boys are in crisis and what mislabeling does to a boy by the time he's fourteen. What our daughters actually need to grow up confident, which is not the conversation girl moms are being handed. Why he calls ADHD an operating system and not a disorder. And the one thing a father gives a child that a mother can't, which, to my surprise, is not discipline. It's regulation. Then it turned, the way the best ones do. He told me about the pain he carried in his body for years and refused to look at, until it cost him his leg, and what he found waiting on the other side of finally listening to it. His line for it: losing his leg let him grow wings. I came into this conversation thinking about my children. I left it thinking about myself. This is for the mother who has been told her child has a problem. For the one quietly certain she's doing all of this wrong. For the one who keeps promising she'll get to herself later. Our kids are not broken. A lot of what we're labeling in them is really just what we haven't looked at in ourselves, and you being okay is the single most powerful thing you'll ever give them. This is Dr. Michael Milobsky. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Dr. Michael: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/dr_michael_milobsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@dr_mikem Your Kids Will Be Fine (podcast): https://www.youtube.com/@Dr_Michael_Milobsky Chicken Soup Concierge Care: https://www.chickensoupdenver.com/ Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/shop/collections/7513086 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 2:06 How I found him, and why I manifested this conversation 2:47 The one parenting book I threw across the room 3:53 Why boys are in trouble right now 4:31 The normal boys getting labeled as a problem 5:10 Boy brains and girl brains are on different timelines 5:34 What actually changed inside the schools 7:00 What boys really need between three and five 8:42 What a label at four does to a boy at fourteen 10:06 Mislabeled boys grow into angry men 10:47 What Denmark gets right about early childhood 11:32 How to make up for it if your kids are past that window 12:04 The five things every kid needs, starting with a third place 13:03 Boredom is a skill now 13:39 Why we stopped letting our kids risk and fail 14:20 Why did we become this way? 14:56 The culture of safetyism, and the phone as an umbilical cord 19:11 Our parents were submarines 20:02 How our own anxiety gets passed straight to our kids 20:48 The demotion, and whether mothers do this more 21:32 The most important skill: learning to apologize to your kids 22:11 When mothers need to step back, starting when they walk 23:19 Why stepping back gets harder as they get older 24:43 The unresolved wounds we parent from 25:22 What's happening with our daughters that nobody's naming 26:49 The girl I was scared to raise 27:13 How a daughter absorbs her mother's emotional weather 27:31 The two modes so many men were raised with 29:10 The unique thing a mother and father each give a daughter 33:00 The five things, and why all roads lead to the phone 34:29 The right age for a smartphone 35:25 Why it has to be collective, not one family on an island 36:46 Shabbat, and the power of a weekly reset 37:00 ADHD is not a disorder, it's an operating system 39:29 Should you get the diagnosis, and the label fear 40:30 The negative story kids write about themselves without one 41:13 Landing on the right professional, not just medication 43:30 The other things that look exactly like ADHD 46:19 Iron, omega-3, and vitamin D 49:11 What raising seven kids taught him that medical school didn't 50:19 Parenting anxiety, and the Lindsay Clancy case 53:41 Where do mothers actually go for help? 54:08 Postpartum depression is neurobiology, not weakness 1:00:36 Why we're the most lost generation, and the village we lost 1:02:22 The night-nurse gift, and building each other a village 1:03:07 What a father gives that a mother can't: regulation 1:04:14 The two crayons in the box: anger or withdrawal 1:06:30 Where modern culture gets fatherhood most wrong 1:07:00 Planting and building: the two jobs of a parent 1:11:58 His own story, and the body that kept score for years 1:14:30 Losing the leg to grow wings 1:16:00 The body keeps score, and getting to yourself before it's too late 1:19:17 What he'd say to a mother listening right now 1:19:30 Rapid fire 1:21:00 What parents aren't saying out loud This episode touches on postpartum depression and maternal mental health. If you or someone you love is struggling, Postpartum Support International can help: call or text 1-800-944-4773, or visit postpartum.net. Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

You've been called too much your whole life. Too loud, too opinionated, too intense, too independent, too picky. You've done the work, sat through the dates, read the books, and still gone home wondering what's wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. You've just been looking in the wrong places. Serena Kerrigan spent six years as the loudest, most confident voice in the dating conversation, the woman millions turned to, and she almost didn't write her book because being single made her feel like a fraud. In this episode, she and Valeria get into the reframe that changed everything, and it's the same one that led Serena to the man she now lives with: she met him on a stranger's podcast, reading out a text from a guy who had ghosted her, and he told her she wasn't too much, she was just looking in the wrong places. They talk about why she invented a whole confident persona at eighteen because she was insecure, the year she went quiet building something no one could see, why the most successful women walk around in masculine energy that quietly keeps love out, and the dating advice she's had to fact-check now that she's actually in love. And the line every woman needs to hear: stop calling yourself picky. You're not picky. You're refusing to settle. You were the prize the whole time. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Serena: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/serenakerrigan TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@serenakerrigan Her book, Let's F*cking Date: https://letsfuckingdate.com/ Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/shop/collections/5542133 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 2:44 The book this isn't, and the book it actually is 3:31 Eighteen, insecure, and inventing SFK as armor 4:15 Standing at the mirror, saying the name out loud 5:17 When confidence starts as a performance 6:24 The night people were blown away that she stopped caring 7:04 I'm actually a sensitive person and an empath 8:30 When the persona became a crutch 9:27 The fine line of knowing when to turn it on 10:29 What guy is going to want to deal with that? 11:07 Altering yourself before you even walk into the date 12:21 Holding up mirrors to yourself 12:47 Going back to figure out what wasn't working 13:07 I didn't think I was worthy of a relationship 13:49 Deciding to show up as herself, not the persona 14:03 Why she walked away to write the book 14:56 When she finally felt like she figured it out 16:09 Calling her agent: what if I wrote a dating book? 17:20 I'm going to stop editing myself 17:38 On a stranger's podcast, reading out the text that ghosted her 18:06 For the right guy, you'll be the perfect amount 18:43 Meeting the man who saw the soft person underneath 19:22 What to actually look for: feeling safe 19:48 When you don't trust yourself around someone 20:40 When you meet the right person, the anxiety goes quiet 21:08 The daddy issues reframe, and the not-enough wound 22:04 The older man, and what she was really chasing 22:46 Whatever you want, that's fine: losing herself on dates 23:12 The dating advice she's had to fact-check now 24:06 The wall she put up when it was actually going well 25:21 Both of you still figuring out who you are 26:54 The three Ps: become the prize, enjoy the ride, never settle 27:32 We're so hard on ourselves 28:16 It's not men are trash, and it's not mason jar affirmations 29:37 The only thing you can control is how you show up 30:34 When was the last time you did something outside your comfort zone? 31:29 Writing the book was the most uncomfortable thing 32:04 A beautiful Miami story 33:28 Why stepping outside your comfort zone changes everything 34:50 You have to be outside, meeting people 35:18 You're most magnetic in your own energy 35:50 Why the modern woman keeps love out with masculine armor 40:00 Stop calling yourself picky. You're refusing to settle 45:00 Rapid fire 50:00 What women aren't saying out loud Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

We live in a world that has made being a founder a whole personality: move fast, be visible, build in public, become the brand, and make sure everyone sees how hard you're working. Dianna Cohen built Crown Affair by doing almost the exact opposite. Crown Affair is at Sephora and Goop, with Gwyneth Paltrow as one of its earliest investors. But this conversation isn't really about beauty. Dianna built her company around three words: "take your time". And a few years into building it, she made a decision most founders would struggle to make: she stepped down as CEO after realizing her nervous system wasn't built for the way she'd been leading. We talk about why slowness can be a strategy, what it means to lead from feminine energy, the difference between being an operator and a creator, and why creativity and intuition deserve a place in leadership conversations. Dianna also shares what burnout taught her, why our bodies often know things before our brains do, and the line I haven't stopped thinking about: when everything in you says push harder, sometimes the answer is to do the opposite. This episode is for anyone tired of moving at everyone else's pace, and wondering whether success really has to cost you your sanity. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Dianna: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/diannacohen TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@diannacohen Crown Affair: https://crownaffair.com/ Take Your Time Podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/take-your-time/id1896516883 Substack: https://dianna.substack.com/ Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 2:02 Meeting in Miami four years ago 3:31 Building a world around taking your time 5:13 Time is the ultimate luxury 6:25 It started from a Google Doc 9:02 Getting into beauty and why ignorance is bliss 10:39 Two years of nights and weekends before going all in 12:45 The bathroom as a sacred space 14:11 Is slowness actually a strategy? 16:48 What she gained by going slow 17:43 Stepping down as CEO 19:27 Couples therapy for a founder and operator 20:04 The nervous system that wasn't built for the way she was leading 20:32 Do the opposite of what your brain is telling you 20:52 “Happy people don't start companies” 22:36 Gary and Valeria's own sabotage 26:33 Operator vs. creator 27:44 The fear of being seen 30:35 Why the CMO should be the last hire 32:46 Creativity and feminine energy in a masculine industry 35:23 What feminine energy looks like in practice 36:04 Intuition is a hard skill 39:30 Playing in the sandbox again 42:28 Why isn't creativity in leadership books? 45:15 The Artist's Way 48:53 Trust vs. faith 52:04 Why we don't talk enough about the nervous system 52:55 Our bodies speak a different language than our brains 55:36 Growing up in a household that didn't allow crying 58:14 Scarcity and learning to receive abundance 1:00:22 Success with emptiness inside 1:03:03 Lessons from iconic women she worked for 1:05:40 Founder culture and cosplaying CEO 1:07:18 Expert, creator, celebrity and product brands 1:08:57 The triangle of delusion 1:11:37 How many people you move—not how many you reach 1:12:00 Why she'll never build in public 1:16:33 The two-phone trick for Instagram addiction 1:19:37 What women should understand about creativity 1:21:30 Rapid fire 1:25:30 What women aren't saying out loud Disclaimer:The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

A while back I posted something about my kids, and a woman sent me a DM that has been quietly sitting in the back of my mind ever since. She said, it feels like you resisted motherhood for a while and now you've fully embraced it. What changed? And here's the honest thing. If that message had landed in my inbox two years ago, it would have sent me straight down a dark hole. It would have fed the mom guilt so well I'd have needed months to climb back out. So this one is me finally answering her, out loud. I had a very specific image of what motherhood would look like, and when it actually arrived, it looked nothing like the picture. I was exhausted. I was, if I'm being honest, bored. And I felt so much guilt for even thinking that, because everyone around me seemed to be glowing in exactly the season that was making me feel lost. I thought I was failing at the one thing I was supposed to be built for. What I've come to understand is the thing I most needed someone to tell me back then. Loving your children and feeling fully lit up by every single stage of raising them are two different things. You can adore your kids and still not feel like yourself in the baby years. That doesn't make you a bad mother. It makes you a human one. And some of us, it turns out, come alive in the chapters that come later. This is for the woman quietly wondering why she doesn't feel the way she was told she would. The one comparing her insides to everyone else's highlight reel. The one grieving the version of herself she was before, not knowing the best is still ahead of her. Nobody warns you that some seasons of motherhood just won't feel like yours. I'm telling you now, so you don't spend two years thinking something is wrong with you. There isn't. You're not alone. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/7358472 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 0:00 The DM that made me stop 0:52 Two years ago this would have wrecked me 1:37 The very specific image of motherhood I had 2:22 When it arrived, it looked nothing like the picture 2:43 I was so bored, and so guilty for feeling it 3:07 The woman I was before the kids 4:19 Trying, and failing, to find one clear memory 5:03 Feeling like I was failing at what I was built for 5:30 Everyone else looked like they were in their flow 6:20 What the curated feed does to mothers 6:44 The borrowed guilt from a script 7:09 But what about the rest of us? 7:32 Loving your kids and being lit up by every stage are two different things 7:55 What shifted with an eleven and a seven-year-old 8:19 The conversations are my favorite part now 9:08 The expectations I grew up carrying 10:38 Not every woman is built for the baby chapter 11:08 To the woman who doesn't feel it yet 11:31 It doesn't mean you're failing. It means you're human 12:14 The comparison loosened its grip 12:36 Sometimes your best motherhood years come later 13:00 You are not alone Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

There are people you meet once and think about for years. Codie Sanchez is one of mine. She is the founder of Contrarian Thinking, a Forbes 2026 Top Creator, and one of the most powerful voices in business on the internet, the rare person in her world who says the quiet part out loud instead of selling you the highlight reel. A New York Times bestseller with a nine-figure portfolio of businesses most people will never see the inside of, and a way of talking that makes you sit up straight. So I asked her the thing I actually wanted to know. What's the most dishonest part of the entrepreneurship dream we're all being sold? And she did not flinch. We get into why most business owners don't run their businesses, their businesses run them. Why the thing you build to give you freedom so often ends up with you by the throat. The vacation test that Gary and I failed miserably. And her whole argument, the one behind her new book Own or Be Owned, that being needed is not the same thing as being free, and most of us confuse the two until it's very expensive to learn the difference. But this one got personal fast, because Codie is about to become a mother for the first time, at the exact moment she's releasing the biggest work of her career. So we talked about what happens to a woman who built the whole machine when she has to evolve into a different woman for the next chapter. Running a business with your husband. Softness and power, and how they actually meet in leadership. Whether we even want it all, or whether we've just never been asked what we actually want. This is for the woman who is burned out, or tired, or quietly talked herself out of starting the thing. The one who suspects most of what she sees online is a little bit fake, and is right. Codie is proof you can build the business and still have the life, but only if you're honest with yourself about which life that is first. This is Codie Sanchez. New episodes of Not Alone every Wednesday. Subscribe so you never miss one. Follow Codie: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/codiesanchez TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@realcodiesanchez YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@codiesanchezct BigDeal podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/bigdeal/id1736593333 Preorder her book, Own or Be Owned: https://codiesanchez.com/book/ Follow Valeria: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/valerialipovetsky TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@valeria.lipovetsky Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/valerialipovetskyblog Follow Not Alone: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/notalonepod TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@notalone.pod Podcast: https://www.notalonepod.com/ Shop my look from this episode: https://shopmy.us/collections/7214312 Amazon Storefront: https://www.amazon.com/shop/valerialipovetsky What we talked about: 3:00 Round two, and a whole new chapter 5:00 Should you even become an owner? 6:00 Everybody can build a $10 business, but should they 9:19 The most dishonest part of the entrepreneurship dream 10:30 Selling a dream that's missing all the context 12:36 The questions nobody asks before they start 13:46 The price of the visibility 14:50 What do you actually want, though 16:00 The first million is the hardest 18:30 The martyr trap 21:03 Profit and revenue, not vanity metrics 24:11 Everybody's doing the most 25:19 Getting your team invested and leveraged 28:00 I'm not happy, and I'm the one who built this 30:27 Being needed is not the same as being free 33:10 What women in particular have to unlearn 35:30 Knowing what your person actually wants 36:38 The asset nobody wants to buy 39:00 What's my real hourly wage? 42:53 This is our era, ladies 44:00 The vacation test, which Gary and I failed 46:23 It won't work if you want different things 47:28 The moment she realized she had to evolve 48:51 Fresh flowers, and building a company you want to be in 50:55 Creating something from nothing 52:17 A world builder 55:00 What if you want something different now 58:07 Running a business, and a marriage, at the same time 1:00:44 The bargain you don't want to make 1:02:44 We're more capable than we're told 1:03:38 It's okay to say you want less, too 1:06:15 Softness and power in leadership 1:08:02 Buy or build? 1:09:28 Time is the real currency 1:11:00 Rapid fire Disclaimer: The links in this description are sponsor or affiliate links. If you make a purchase through these links, I may earn a credit or commission at no additional cost to you. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices