The Family Podcast

In this episode, we learn how understanding attachment theory can help couples grow closer to one another as they reflect the steadfast love and reliability of God.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Attachment theory is one of the most studied and trusted frameworks in relational psychology. It was developed by John Bowlby and expanded by Mary Ainsworth. At its core, it explains how the earliest bonds we form with our caregivers shape the way we understand love and connection later in life. As children, the consistency—or inconsistency—of a caregiver’s attention and responsiveness teaches us how to view ourselves and others. Those early impressions don’t disappear; they resurface in adulthood, often getting triggered in the context of our romantic relationships.Attachment TypesSecure: A secure attachment means you can trust that the people you love will be there for you. It forms when, as a child, your caregiver consistently responded to your needs with care and reliability. That steady presence builds confidence that you are worthy of love and that others can be trusted. As an adult, secure attachment shows up as the ability to build healthy, balanced relationships—where closeness feels safe, independence isn’t threatening, and conflict doesn’t shake the foundation of trust.Anxious Attachment: Anxious attachment develops when love feels uncertain or inconsistent. As children, those with anxious attachment often had caregivers who were sometimes responsive and other times distracted or unavailable. This unpredictability creates confusion and insecurity about whether their needs will be met. As adults, people with an anxious attachment style tend to crave closeness but fear abandonment, which can lead to clinginess, overanalyzing, or difficulty trusting their partner’s commitment. Avoidant Attachment: Avoidant attachment develops when closeness feels unsafe or unnecessary. As children, those with this style often had caregivers who were emotionally distant, neglectful, or dismissive of their needs. To cope, they learned to rely on themselves and minimize their need for comfort or support. As adults, people with avoidant attachment tend to value independence so highly that intimacy can feel uncomfortable or even threatening. They may pull away when relationships get too close, struggle to express emotions, or downplay the importance of love altogether. The Attachment Alarm When your partner feels distant or inconsistent, your “attachment system” goes off. This is the brain’s way of monitoring whether you are safe and secure in the relationship. Anxious attachments are particularly sensitive to this. Once activated, the anxious will engage in protest behaviors which means doing whatever it takes to feel safe again (calling, what’s wrong, imagination runs wild). If an avoidant, you will likely push away and might think your spouse is overreacting and can be...

In this episode, we’ll talk about how marriage isn’t just destroyed by the big blowups—but more often by the small, everyday moments when we ignore each other’s bids for connection, and how learning to “turn toward” instead of “turn away” can change everything.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Many couples believe that divorce comes from big, explosive issues—infidelity, money problems, or major betrayals. But according to renowned marriage researcher Dr. John Gottman, it's often not the big things that break a marriage. It's the small, everyday moments—missed chances to connect—that slowly build up into bitterness and resentment over time.What Is a “Bid” for Connection?Gottman calls these small moments “bids.” A bid is any attempt from one partner to get attention, affection, affirmation, or support from the other. Bids can be loud or quiet, obvious or subtle.Examples:“How do I look?” (Translation: Can I have your attention?)“Getting the kids to bed is hard.” (Translation: Can I have your help?)A spouse sitting down next to you on the couch. (Translation: Can I be near you?)Whether you notice these bids and how you respond to them will shape the health of your marriage—far more than you might think.The 3 Ways to Respond to a BidEvery time your spouse makes a bid for connection, you have three ways to respond. Over time, your pattern of responses becomes the emotional climate of your relationship.1. Turning TowardThis is the healthy response. When you turn toward a bid, you engage with your partner’s attempt to connect. It could be as simple as answering their question, offering a smile, or stopping what you're doing to give them your attention.Example:Spouse: “Look at this funny video.”Turning Toward: “Haha! That’s great. Show me another.”What it does: Builds trust, intimacy, and love. Each “turning toward” moment is like a small deposit in the bank account of your marriage.Proverbs 15:1 – “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words make tempers flare.”Kind responses create peace and connection.2. Turning AwayThis is the neutral-to-negative response. You ignore the bid, act distracted, or give a half-hearted answer.Example:Spouse: “Can we talk after dinner?”Turning Away: “Uh-huh…” (while scrolling your phone)What it does: Over time, this makes your partner feel invisible or unimportant. They may stop reaching out altogether.Philippians 2:4 – “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”Marriage thrives when both spouses make each other a priority.3. Turning AgainstThis is the harmful response. You react with sarcasm, criticism, or irritation. It not only ignores the bid, but...

In this episode, Tracy examines the growing trend of Gentle Parenting through a biblical lens, showing how compassion without correction can miss God’s bigger plan for shaping a child’s heart.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Gentle Parenting has gained significant popularity in recent years as a parenting philosophy rooted in empathy, emotional connection, and positive discipline. It’s roots come from Alfred AdlerAdvocates promote its compassionate, respectful approach to child-rearing as an alternative to authoritarian or punitive parenting styles. While aspects of gentle parenting align with biblical calls for kindness, patience, and love, there are significant theological and biblical concerns that challenge some of its foundational assumptions. This article explores the principles of gentle parenting, the underlying views about human nature, and examines where it diverges from biblical truth from an evangelical perspective.The Principles of Gentle ParentingAt its core, gentle parenting emphasizes a few key principles:Connection Over Control: Gentle parenting prioritizes forming a strong emotional bond with the child over exerting control. It believes that a connected parent-child relationship is the foundation for healthy behavior, promoting cooperation rather than compliance based on fear.Empathy and Emotional Awareness: Gentle parenting encourages parents to understand and validate their children’s emotions. The idea is that emotional intelligence and self-regulation come through modeling empathy, not through punishment or suppression of emotions.Positive Discipline: Gentle parenting replaces punitive measures (like spanking or time-outs) with positive discipline. Misbehavior is viewed as an opportunity to teach and guide rather than punish. Natural consequences and open communication are favored over strict rules or punishments.Respect for Autonomy: This philosophy treats children as autonomous individuals deserving of the same respect as adults. Children are given choices and involved in decision-making processes, even from a young age, to foster a sense of independence.Modeling Desired Behavior: Parents are encouraged to model the behaviors they wish to see in their children. Instead of disciplining through authority, parents demonstrate patience, kindness, and self-control, expecting their children to learn by example.Underlying Assumptions About Human NatureThe principles of gentle parenting rest on certain assumptions about human nature that, while appealing, often conflict with the Bible’s teachings on humanity’s fallen state and the need for discipline. Biblical parenting embraces the timeless truth of God’s Word instead of the changing ideas of popular culture. When evaluating Gentle Parenting, be sure to do it through the lens of the Bible.1. Children: Inherently Good or Sinful?One of the main assumptions behind gentle parenting is that...

In this episode, we explore the four main parenting styles—authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved—and look at how each one impacts children, while offering biblical wisdom to help parents raise kids God’s way.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Parenting is one of the most important roles in a person’s life, and it significantly shapes the development and well-being of children. Over the years, psychologists and researchers have identified four primary parenting styles, each characterized by different levels of warmth, control, and communication. Understanding these styles can help parents recognize the potential outcomes of their approaches and make more informed decisions about how they raise their children. See this article. The four main parenting styles are:Authoritarian ParentingAuthoritative ParentingPermissive ParentingUninvolved ParentingEach of these styles affects children differently, influencing their emotional, social, and cognitive development.1. Authoritarian ParentingAuthoritarian parents are often seen as strict, controlling, and demanding. They set high expectations for their children, emphasizing obedience and discipline above all else. Communication tends to be one-sided, with little room for dialogue or flexibility. Rules are enforced with little explanation, and punishment is used as a means to maintain control.Key Characteristics:High demands and expectationsLow responsiveness to the child’s emotional needsEmphasis on obedience and disciplineLimited communication and explanation of rulesEffects on Children: Children raised by authoritarian parents often develop a strong sense of discipline and respect for authority but may also struggle with self-esteem and decision-making. They may become either overly submissive or rebellious, depending on their temperament. Social skills can be underdeveloped, as they may not feel comfortable expressing their thoughts and feelings openly.Biblical Response: Authoritarian parenting emphasizes strict rules and discipline, often with little room for discussion. While discipline is important, Scripture also encourages understanding and wisdom in its application.Ephesians 6:4 – "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."Colossians 3:21 – "Fathers, do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged."2. Authoritative ParentingAuthoritative parenting is widely regarded as the...

“But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God’s holy people.”Ephesians 5:3We should be pure because God calls us to be. This is the mindset we need to pursue. It isn’t out of fear of consequences, hope for a better future, or anything else. It needs to be out of love and respect for God and his standards. But we will get into that more tomorrow.The question for today is, what is purity? It is ensuring there is not even a hint of sexual immorality in our lives.That is a pretty high standard, and it can feel daunting to achieve that especially if you have been living in this sin for a while. I know I felt like that was an impossible task when I started this journey. But then I learned something that changed everything:This battle is not about what you do, it’s about who you are becoming.Sexual purity isn’t just about avoiding porn or staying away from the wrong websites. That’s surface-level thinking. This journey isn’t about what you do—it’s about finally being the man God calls you to be. And God is calling you to become a man of honor, discipline, and integrity. Sexual purity is the byproduct of a life that belongs fully to Jesus.The truth is, we live in a world that constantly puts sex in our faces—on our phones, in music, in ads, in movies. So living this new life will not be easy.You are going to have to make some sacrifices that will hurt.I know when I began this journey, two things were true:I was ready to do whatever it tookI was sick of being lied to, by the enemy, by the world, and by myselfSo I’m not going to do that to you. Here is the honest truth: somedays, this is gonna suck. It’s going to hurt like hell and there will be moments where you will think life was better before.But remember how you feel right now, ready to be free. Purity is not a one time decision, it isn’t a one size fits all step by step guide, and it definitely isn’t a pay your way service. So what is it then?Purity is a daily pursuit of God.It is waking up everyday and deciding, just for today, to live for God and with God in every area of your life.Half measures and white knuckling it will not work, but you already know that.You can’t live in freedom if you're pretending you don’t need it.Begin the Process of Becoming a New ManFollowing Jesus means more than a one-time decision. It’s a daily process of surrender. Think of your heart like a house. Have you locked Jesus out of any rooms? Maybe there's a room marked “Lust” or “Shame” or “Private Struggles.” Jesus doesn't want visitation rights—He wants ownership.“Look! I stand at the door and knock. If you hear my voice and open the door, I will come in...” — Revelation 3:20 (NLT)When Jesus knocks, He’s not just being polite. He’s coming to set you free. But freedom will require sacrifice, intensity, and honor. You won’t drift into purity—you’ll have to fight for it.The 3 Rules to Start With:No secrets. You can't heal what you hide.Be 100% honest all the time, no matter whatNo compromise. What you allow in small amounts will master you over time.In your allowed media, eye discipline, etc.In your consistencyNo excuses. This is a battle of consistency, you won’t win it in a day, but you have to win today.It’s time to be matureYou are in control, any...

This is a real life story from a real life dude dealing with real life lust.Mentioned in this episode:IntroOutro

In this episode, we explore how biblical parenting is about more than rules—it’s about helping your kids move from “renting” values to truly owning a faith that lasts.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --The Principle of Ownership in Parenting: A Biblical ApproachOne of the greatest responsibilities a parent has is to raise children who are equipped to navigate the world with strong, biblically grounded values. A fundamental principle of parenting is the idea of “ownership”—that the ultimate goal is for our children to leave home with the values we have instilled in them firmly rooted in their hearts. This means moving from a phase where they "rent" these values—temporarily adopting them while under our guidance—to a place where they "own" them, making those values personal, enduring, and guiding their decisions as independent adults.The Biblical Foundation of OwnershipScripture provides a foundation for this principle, particularly in passages that emphasize training, teaching, and passing on faith to the next generation. Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it." This well-known verse reflects the heart of biblical parenting—intentional training in godly ways. However, for this promise to hold true, children must internalize the faith and values taught to them. They must “own” these teachings so that they continue to live by them when parents are no longer watching.Moses also spoke about this principle in Deuteronomy 6:6-7: “These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.” The goal is not merely that children hear the commandments but that they become imprinted on their hearts. Moses was calling parents to make God’s truth a natural part of everyday life, ingraining it deeply in their children so that it would influence them long after they left their parents' homes.From Renters to OwnersA crucial distinction for parents to understand is the difference between children being "renters" of values versus being "owners." As long as children are under our care, there is a temptation to assume that because they obey the rules, they are fully committed to the values behind those rules. However, rented values are often temporary—children follow them when it’s convenient, but they haven’t necessarily embraced them as their own. The danger is that when parents are no longer present to enforce those values, the children may abandon them.Ownership, on the other hand, happens when children take personal responsibility for their beliefs and decisions. When children “own” the values you’ve taught them, they continue to live by those values even when no one is watching. In Luke 6:45, Jesus says, “For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.” The values in their hearts will naturally influence their words and actions. True ownership transforms these values...

In this episode, Pastor Bryan sits down with Dr. Carson and Dr. Andrea Morley—married physicians and parents-to-be—to discuss the medical, ethical, and spiritual considerations behind birth control options for Christian couples. They break down how common methods like the pill, IUDs, and barrier methods actually work, explain the difference between preventing pregnancy and abortion from a biblical perspective, and offer personal insights on how couples can navigate this sensitive decision with wisdom, faith, and unity.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --

Parenting adult kids means shifting from control to connection—this episode unpacks four biblical principles to help you build trust, encourage independence, and keep the relationship strong.Based on the book “Doing Life with Your Adult Children: Keep Your Mouth Shut and the Welcome Mat out” by Jim Burns.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --How to Parent Your Adult Kids Without Losing the RelationshipParenting doesn’t stop when your kids become adults—but it definitely changes. If you keep treating them like teenagers, you’ll sabotage your relationship. Jim Burns, in his book Doing Life with Your Adult Children, gives practical principles for navigating this tricky new season. The big idea? Shift from control to connection.This topic will explore four core principles from Burns to help parents make the shift from authority figures to trusted advisors—and become the kind of parents adult kids actually want to talk to. Whether you’re struggling to keep your mouth shut or wondering what role you now play in their lives, this guide will give you biblical wisdom and practical advice.Principle #1The relationship must change as your kids become adults. Move from being the boss to being a mentor and friend. “You are a consultant at their will.” You’re not there to control but to encourage. It’s okay to grieve the change, but don’t let your identity depend on being needed.Proverbs 22:6Direct your children onto the right path, and when they are older, they will not leave it.Principle #2Only offer advice when asked. Unsolicited input often sounds like criticism. James 1:19 reminds us to be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry. Let your kids make mistakes—they’ll learn more from experience than from lectures.James 1:19“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”Winston Churchill: “You will never reach your destination if you stop and throw stones at every dog that barks.”Keep the long view in mind. Build a new, trusting relationship.Principle #3The goal is healthy independence. Adult children need to take ownership of their lives, especially if they’re still living at home. Set clear expectations: be productive, respect house rules, and move toward financial and relational independence with timelines and boundaries.Be productive in the home (chores, etc)Honor the moral code of the homeBe financially responsible and set clear goals of where they want to be in a yearSet deadlines for the arrangement and clear consequences if brokenPrinciple #4Be a peacemaker with in-laws and a fun, faith-filled grandparent. Don’t create pressure around holidays or competing family events. Instead, leave a legacy of love, prayer,

Every couple brings a sexual “rulebook” into marriage, but true intimacy begins when you rewrite it together—with honesty, emotional connection, and God’s truth.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Every couple enters marriage with a “rulebook” for sex—unspoken expectations shaped by personal history, past relationships, and family dynamics. To build a healthy sex life, you have to open that rulebook together and start rewriting it in light of God’s truth.A great place to begin is by sharing your stories. How did your parents express love—were they affectionate or emotionally distant? What past experiences have shaped your views on sex, for better or worse? Shame, pain, or unrealistic expectations from your past can quietly impact your present. Be honest with your spouse—healing starts with vulnerability.Your body image also plays a big role in how comfortable you feel in the bedroom. Be willing to talk about it. When couples are emotionally connected, they’re far more likely to experience intimacy on every level.Remember, sex isn’t just physical—it’s deeply relational, emotional, and spiritual. That’s why the best way to improve your sex life might begin outside the bedroom. Learn each other’s love language. Serve one another. As trust and connection grow, so will your intimacy.Proverbs 5:19 She is a loving deer, a graceful doe. Let her breasts satisfy you always. May you always be captivated by her love.1 Corinthians 7:3-5 says, “The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control. Another word for deprive is defraud. Which means to cheat them.John Piper ‘The practical application of 1 Corinthians 7:3–5 is not resolved by logic or taking turns or male dominance or female submission. It is resolved in the mystery of love that discovers even here, when our physical pleasure is more prominent than anywhere else, “It is more blessed to give than to receive” (Acts 20:35). There is a holy and humble and self-sacrificing competition to make the other maximally glad. The logical stalemate is broken by the miracle of grace: With God all things are possible.”

Based on the book by Dr. Leonard Sax “Boys Adrift”, this episode explores Dr. Leonard Sax’s research on the crisis facing young men—and what parents can do to turn the tide.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Based on the book “Boys Adrift” by Dr. Leonard Sax Dr. Leonard Sax, a family physician and psychologist, has spent decades researching a troubling cultural trend: boys in America are becoming increasingly apathetic, while girls continue to thrive. College enrollment numbers are down, motivation is plummeting, and a growing number of boys seem to be disengaging from real life. What’s going on?A Look at the NumbersCollege statistics reflect the shift. In 2023, men made up only 42% of students aged 18–24 in four-year colleges, down from 47% in 2011. Women were 9 percentage points more likely to be enrolled in college than men in 2022. And when boys do go to college, they are less likely than girls to graduate.Brain Development and Early EducationBrain development plays a role, too. Girls’ brains mature faster than boys’, especially in areas related to sensory integration and self-regulation. This biological reality clashes with today’s academic environment, where even kindergarten demands early reading and writing skills—before many boys are ready.5 Key Factors Behind the CrisisAccording to Dr. Sax, several powerful cultural shifts over the last 40 years are affecting boys in ways that parents and educators can no longer ignore. Dr. Sax identifies five key factors that are contributing to this downward spiral:1. Early Education Isn’t Built for BoysKindergarten used to be a place for creativity and play. Now, it focuses on reading, writing, and sitting still for long periods—an environment where many boys struggle. Instead of adapting the system, society too often labels boys with ADHD. The CDC reports that over 11% of children aged 5–17 have been diagnosed with ADHD, often as a result of mismatched expectations rather than true disorder.2. Video Games Offer an Addictive EscapeMany boys say school is boring and can’t wait to get home to their video games. These games offer fast-paced stimulation and constant action—but research shows they also increase risky behavior, diminish empathy, and disconnect boys from real-life goals.3. Overuse of ADHD MedicationsStimulant medications like Adderall and Ritalin can alter motivation and personality by impacting brain receptors. Dr. Sax recommends non-stimulant alternatives like Strattera or Wellbutrin, warning that reliance on the wrong medications may do more harm than good.4. Chemical Hormone DisruptionModern plastics and water contaminants act as endocrine disruptors, mimicking estrogen in the body. This not only affects puberty and hormone development in boys but may also contribute to rising ADHD rates and declining motivation.5. Lack of Strong Role ModelsFrom sitcoms to social media, positive portrayals of fatherhood and masculinity have disappeared. Instead...

In this episode, we’re tackling one of the biggest sources of tension in marriage—money—by unpacking four biblical values that can help couples build unity, trust, and purpose in their finances.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --

In this episode, Tracy unpacks practical ways to help your kids tell the truth—showing how honesty builds trust, honors God, and shapes godly character.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Teaching Kids to Tell the TruthLying is making an untrue statement with the intent to deceive and gain some advantage. As parents, it’s crucial to address this issue from a spiritual perspective because lying is part of our sin nature (Romans 3:23). The Bible mentions lying between 155-180 times, depending on the translation, highlighting its significance in God’s eyes.Why Do Kids Lie?Children lie for various reasons, including:To meet a need – They want something, like a cookie on the counter, and lying seems like an easy way to get it.To avoid trouble – They fear consequences, like breaking something and blaming a sibling.For attention – They exaggerate or fabricate stories to impress others.God’s Perspective on LyingLying started at the beginning of time. In Genesis 3, Adam and Eve tried to deceive God by hiding after they sinned. This shows that dishonesty is deeply ingrained in human nature.God takes lying seriously, and so should we as parents. The Bible explicitly warns against it:Leviticus 19:11 – "Do not steal. Do not deceive or cheat one another."Proverbs 6:16-19 – "There are six things that the Lord hates… a lying tongue, a false witness who breathes out lies..."One of the 10 commandments “not to bear false witness”Lying damages relationships, erodes trust, and goes against God’s nature. As parents, our goal is to train our children to value truthfulness and recognize the long-term consequences of dishonesty.How to Train Kids to Be Honest1. Model TruthfulnessChildren learn by example. If they see parents lying—whether about small things like “I’m not home” when avoiding a call or exaggerating stories—they will assume dishonesty is acceptable.2. Create a Safe Environment for HonestyEncourage open conversations where your child feels safe to tell the truth without immediate harsh consequences. Family discussions and Bible-based resources help cultivate this environment.3. Explain How Lying Hurts OthersHelp children understand that lying damages relationships:Breaks trust – When someone lies, others find it difficult to rely on them.Hurts feelings – Lies can cause emotional pain to family and friends.Makes life uncertain – Example: If parents didn’t follow through on picking up their child from school, it would create insecurity.4. Be Gracious But ClearDon’t overreact when a child confesses. Instead, affirm their honesty while addressing the wrongdoing.Deliver appropriate consequences without anger, explaining that lost trust leads to fewer...

In this episode, Tracy discusses how to recognize toxic people, protect your peace, and set healthy boundaries—just like Jesus did. You'll learn when it's time to speak truth in love, when to step back, and how to navigate difficult relationships with wisdom and grace. This episode is based on the based on the book by Gary Chapman When to Walk Away.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Understanding and Dealing with Toxic People (New Topic)A toxic person is someone who consistently exhibits harmful behaviors, whether through manipulation, control, emotional damage, or fostering negativity. They create unhealthy environments, draining the energy and peace of those around them. As Christians, we are called to navigate relationships with wisdom and discernment, ensuring that we guard our hearts while maintaining a Christ-like attitude.Signs of a Toxic PersonRecognizing toxic behavior is the first step to protecting yourself from its effects. Here are some common traits of a toxic person: They thrive on conflict (Manipulator). Rather than seeking peace, they enjoy stirring division and fueling drama. They scapegoat and blame others. As Dr. M. Scott Peck explains, toxic individuals refuse to acknowledge fault, instead attacking others to preserve their self-image. They manipulate for attention. Toxic people use neediness, guilt, and even aggression to monopolize your time, energy, and emotions. Questions to Ask YourselfIf you suspect someone in your life may be toxic, ask yourself these questions:Do my interactions with them leave me drained and emotionally exhausted?Does my relationship with them steal my peace, joy, and hope?Are they interfering with my ability to cultivate other healthy relationships?Do I feel manipulated, minimized, or controlled by them?Do they seem to thrive in anger, malice, slander, or deceit?How Should I Deal with a Toxic Person?Navigating relationships with toxic individuals requires wisdom, boundaries, and a commitment to biblical truth. Here’s how you can respond:Label the bad behavior. Recognizing toxicity allows you to set new boundaries. Honoring someone doesn’t mean pretending they are something they are not.Speak the truth. Be honest, but if they refuse to receive it, stop trying. Jesus modeled this when he let people walk away (Matthew 19:16-26).Avoid gossip and unnecessary defense. If someone misrepresents you, respond calmly: “I’m sorry you feel that way.”Guard your heart by setting boundaries. Proverbs 26:4-5 reminds us to handle fools wisely—sometimes by not engaging.Limit your time with them. Say no to unreasonable requests and unnecessary interactions.Pray for them. Even toxic people need God’s grace, but that doesn’t mean...

Tracy discusses best practices for helping children process grief, including modeling healthy mourning, engaging in age-appropriate conversations, and offering comfort through the promise of Heaven.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --

In this episode, Tracy explores the four seasons of marriage—spring, summer, fall, and winter—and how couples can thrive in each one by staying intentional, connected, and rooted in God. Learn how to recognize your current season and respond with wisdom, grace, and faith.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --The Seasons of Marriage: How to Grow Through Every Stage of Life TogetherMarriage, like nature, has seasons. Each one brings its own beauty—and its own challenges. Recognizing the season you’re in can help you lean into God's plan for your relationship, making your marriage stronger and more fruitful no matter the circumstances. Let’s walk through the four seasons of marriage and explore how to navigate them with purpose and love.Spring: Say "Yes" to Your MarriageSpring is the season of new growth. It’s often filled with young children, rising careers, and a never-ending to-do list. This can make marriage feel more like a project than a partnership. But in this busy season, couples must learn the power of saying “No” to the good so they can say “Yes” to the best—their relationship.Ecclesiastes 3:1 reminds us that “For everything there is a season, a time for every activity under heaven.” That includes making intentional space to invest in your spouse.Summer: Embrace the Joy of TogethernessSummer brings warmth, connection, and space to enjoy each other. Maybe the kids are older, or the pressures of early adulthood have passed. This is a great time to intentionally deepen your relationship. Enjoy vacations, long talks, and shared hobbies. But don't get lazy—use this time to keep building a stronger bond.Song of Solomon 2:10 says, “My beloved spoke and said to me, ‘Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, come with me.’” Summer is about pursuing your spouse with intentionality.Fall: Prepare for ChangeFall often brings transitions—career shifts, an empty nest, or unexpected loss. Change can be stressful and unsettling. That’s why this season requires grace, communication, and adaptability. It’s easy to turn inward during change, but this is when you need each other the most.Proverbs 3:5-6 encourages us: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart… He will make your paths straight.” Trusting God together through change can anchor your marriage.Winter: Fight for Your MarriageWinter is the hardest season. It can bring grief, health issues, financial strain, or emotional distance. These trials are real, but so is God's faithfulness. This is when you fight hardest for your marriage—through prayer, counseling, and a commitment to stay connected even when feelings fade.Ecclesiastes 4:12 says, “A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer.” Winter is not the end—it’s a chance to build resilience and rediscover why you said “I do.”Every marriage goes through seasons. The key is to recognize where you are and respond with grace, truth, and intentionality. With God at...

How feedback is given makes all the difference! This episode covers practical do’s and don’ts for correcting with grace, encouraging growth, and keeping communication open with teens. Learn how to balance honesty with kindness and build trust while guiding them toward maturity.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Giving Helpful Feedback to Your TeenAs parents, we want to guide our teens toward maturity, but how we give feedback can make all the difference. The Bible encourages us to speak truth in love (Ephesians 4:29), which means balancing honesty with kindness. Here are some do’s and don’ts to help you give feedback that builds your teen up instead of tearing them down.The Do’s:Be Kind but Clear – Your words should encourage growth, not just point out flaws. Make sure your feedback is constructive, not critical. (Ephesians 4:29)Give Time to Process – Your teen might not immediately agree with you. Be patient and trust that your words will sink in over time.Keep Earning Trust – Build a relationship where they feel safe to hear your feedback. Spend time with them, listen to their thoughts, and engage in their world.The Don’ts:Don’t Be Passive-Aggressive – Sarcasm or veiled criticism, even if meant as a joke, can create distance instead of growth.Don’t Be a Nag – Constantly pointing out flaws can make your teen tune you out. Pick your battles wisely.Don’t Lecture – Teens often know what you’re going to say before you say it. Instead of a lecture, invite them into the conversation and let them express their perspective. (Proverbs 22:6)Giving helpful feedback is about more than just correcting behavior—it’s about shaping the heart and character of your teen in a way that honors God.

In this episode, Tracy explores a powerful concept that can shape the way you view your marriage—for better or worse. She discusses Positive and Negative Sentiment Override, a mindset that influences whether you focus on the qualities you love and respect in your spouse or dwell on the things that frustrate or hurt you. Your perspective can either foster a thriving, joyful relationship or lead to a cycle of negativity and despair. --The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --

Anxiety is on the rise among kids, but as parents, we have the opportunity to guide them through it. In this episode, we’ll unpack the common triggers of anxiety, practical ways to help kids cope, and—most importantly—how grounding them in Scripture and God’s truth can bring peace and confidence in the midst of fear.--The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --Anxiety is becoming a growing issue among kids today. More children are struggling with worry, stress, and fear than ever before. The pressures of school, social media, and an unpredictable world make it easy for kids to feel overwhelmed. The statistics are concerning—more than 1 in 10 kids in the U.S. deal with anxiety, and many suffer in silence. As parents, we need to recognize the signs and equip our kids with the tools to manage their anxiety in a healthy way.Signs of Anxiety in ChildrenKids don’t always know how to express what they’re feeling, so anxiety can manifest in different ways. Here are some common signs to watch for:Trouble concentrating – Difficulty focusing on tasks at school or home.Nightmares – Frequent bad dreams, especially around big life changes.Irritability – Becoming easily frustrated or upset over small things.Negative thoughts – Worrying excessively or imagining worst-case scenarios.Physical tension – Restlessness, fidgeting, or clenching fists.Common Triggers of AnxietyAnxiety can stem from different sources, including:Fear of failure – Worrying about measuring up in school, sports, or family expectations.Social concerns – Fear of rejection or not fitting in with peers.Stranger danger – Natural wariness of unfamiliar people or situations.Past trauma – Emotional scars from difficult past experiences.How Parents Can HelpNormalize the FeelingLet your child know it’s okay to feel anxious sometimes.Help them name their feelings so they can better understand and process them.Be careful not to let your own anxiety feed theirs—stay calm and reassuring.Some anxiety is normal, especially during big life changes (new school, loss of a loved one, divorce), but pay close attention if it lasts for months.Encourage Open CommunicationCreate a safe space for your child to talk about their worries.Share your own experiences with anxiety to help them feel less alone.Find moments to connect—sometimes kids open up more during activities they enjoy (e.g., while drawing, playing, or lying on the floor after school).Face Fears GraduallyInstead of avoiding fears, help your child face them step by step.Prep them for stressful situations by talking through what to...

In this episode, Tracy debunks three common myths about listening and shares four practical keys to becoming a better listener. --The PursueGOD Family podcast helps you think biblically about marriage and parenting. Join Bryan and Tracy Dwyer on Wednesday mornings for new topics every week or two. Find resources to talk about these episodes at pursueGOD.org/family.Help others go "full circle" as a follower of Jesus through our 12-week Pursuit series.Click here to learn more about how to use these resources at home, with a small group, or in a one-on-one discipleship relationship.Got questions or want to leave a note? Email us at podcast@pursueGOD.org.Donate Now --True listening is an active process that involves understanding and empathizing with the speaker, not just hearing the words. It’s about fully engaging with the speaker’s emotions and perspective, which is essential for stronger relationships and better communication.Research shows that women typically engage both hemispheres of the brain when listening, which allows them to pick up on emotional cues, while men tend to use one hemisphere, focusing more on the content. Recognizing these differences can improve communication and understanding between genders.Listening isn’t passive or automatic. It’s an active skill that requires practice and attention. Myths like “good listeners are born” or “listening always requires solutions” can hinder effective communication. Listening to understand and validate feelings is often more important than offering advice or fixing problems.Active listening means giving your full attention, free from distractions, and showing engagement through nonverbal cues like eye contact and nodding. Reflecting on what’s been said helps ensure understanding, and responding thoughtfully with empathy shows respect for the speaker’s perspective.Facts about listening:Listening retention: People typically only remember about 50% of what they hear immediately after a conversation, and less than 25% after 48 hoursOne study finds that 45% of a person’s time awake is engaged in some kind of listening, which amounts to around 7.58 hours per day for US citizens.Each person hears between 20,000 – 30,000 words each day, which on average amounts to around 0.3 – 0.5 words per second during time awake.This totals 20 – 30 words per minute or 1,200 – 1,800 words per hour.In contrast, the average person speaks 16,000 words a day, between 4,000 – 14,000 words less than we hear.Listening to 30 minutes or more of nagging/complaining can negatively affect the brain’s problem-solving skills. Research has shown that women engage both hemispheres of their brain when listening, whereas men typically rely on just one.The Art of Listening: A Key to Stronger RelationshipsIn today's fast-paced world, where we're constantly bombarded with information and distractions, one thing is often overlooked: listening. Genuine listening is more than just hearing words; it's an active process that involves truly understanding, validating, and empathizing with someone else’s perspective. Whether you're talking to your partner, a friend, or a colleague, good listening can strengthen relationships, resolve conflicts, and foster...