The Demisery

Mother’s Day is coming up here in the US and I’m ready to hide. As a self-defined miscarriage lady, it doesn’t sting as much as it once did, but I find the performative adoration so saccharine and steroidal in its insincerity, that it’s hard to take it seriously. But people do and Mother’s Day can be a cause for great sadness if you’re feeling isolated as a person whose mom has passed, or if you have a strained relationship with her, or if you’re a genderqueer parent, or if your child has passed or you’ve been through five million rounds of IVF. It’s, how do you say, triggering! Not to mention that mothers get the short end of the stick through and through and do any of you feel insulted and short-changed by the one day a year you get treated to brunch?I learned that the woman who invented mother’s day tried to get it cancelled many years later when it became such a commercial event. Guess that didn’t work out… So, here we are. And if you have the occasion to honor your friends typically overlooked on this holiday, I made some alternative cards for sale on my art site: lizziecolors.com.Here’s a sneak peak:If you want to share how you get through or enjoy Mother’s Day, please leave a comment. I’m sure there are some raw folks out there who could use some ideas. Sending you lots of love then and everyday.❤️Lizzie This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

Hello Substackers!It’s been a long time and you know what they say, tragedy plus time equals comedy, so, thanks to the passing of time…. here it is …. DeMisery morphing into DeComedy. I recently performed a stand up comedy set that is, in part, about miscarriages. It was my goal to develop material that acknowledges them and their often overlooked impact on women’s health. Nothing huge or momentous in the grand scheme of things, but hopefully a tiny step in a direction that might help bring this topic out of the realm of taboo and shame into, I don’t know what to call it… miscarriage casual?Many thanks to the support and guidance of the super talented comedian and my extraordinary teacher Arlo Weierhauser; you should totally take classes with them at the Siren Theater in Portland, OR. What do you think about the idea of “normalizing the topic of miscarriage”? I’m especially curious about what that looks and feels like for those who have gone through the experience themselves or with a loved one. Sending lots of love, Liz💓💓💓💓💓 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

Last summer I realized the weird turn my life had taken, that it was all about crypto and pit bulls and that it was directly so because of all those stinkin’ miscarriages.At the same time I was trying to come up with a decent essay to submit to the Modern Love column at the NYTimes.I wanted to figure out a way to get miscarriages into the column and to tell a love story that represents me and lots of people - a story that doesn’t end with a baby or a human relationship.  What resulted was the following essay - Crypto and Pit Bulls which the Times didn’t want to publish, but good news - that means I can publish it here!  Please - here to enjoy - my pity party - yes, a pit bull party that is off the [block]chain!  This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

Meet the hearty & articulate Robin who shares her story about repeat miscarriages. Topics: finding hope in the face of disappointment, geriatric pregnancy, and having a uterus in TX post Roe. 🙏🏻 This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

Hello Listeners,I’d like to start with an excerpt from the essay I’m sharing this week - it’s about being a medically vulnerable patient needing care:To be a patient is to be the complete focus of a doctor’s attention and yet, made to feel invisible as if you could never understand the complicated thing they’re seeing — which, ironically, is you — the you that only you can be and feel. The docs hold back what they see, and what they see has never felt like any nuanced or emotional version of me — the version of me that I’m experiencing in that moment:  terrorized. Can I blame them?  Who wants to look at terror?  It’s unfathomable by design. And now, with the Roe v. Wade overturn, I can not fathom being denied medical care after my baby died in utero nor can I fathom a world that would gleefully prevent it. My body clung to that baby for over a month after it passed… and some people really believe that in order to safely get to the other side of that trauma and physical fact, that medical attention wouldn’t be warranted and shouldn’t be legal?If you substitute “legislators" or “judges” for “doctors” in the excerpt above, that’s my best attempt at getting at the devastation of feeling unseen when getting legal care - in California by relatively compassionate caregivers! Now imagine what it’s like to not have your pain and need seen at all….Now, the full essay…. This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com

This is a public episode. If you would like to discuss this with other subscribers or get access to bonus episodes, visit lizhansen.substack.com