Claim OwnershipFilmjitsu! The Podcast that wields films as deadly weapons
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Two friends and unabashed movie geeks, whose relationship is based almost entirely on antagonism, assign each other horrible films to watch and review. This bad-movie podcast hits you when you're not looking right where the sun don't shine! Learn more at the website!
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On this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike bludgeons Jay with a three-hour, brown-toned cudgel of 1997 prestige cinema called The Postman. Another Kevin Costner-as-savior slog, this one delivers its punishment via sheer runtime, self-importance, and, somehow, Tom Petty as the mayor of a post-apocalyptic city. After the main review, pack a lunch and be sure to leave ahead of traffic as the guys discuss their bottom five movie jobs, because somehow there are occupations worse than being a mailman after the end of the world. Then, in a moment of genuine respect amid the carnage, Mike and Jay play a Carl Reiner memorial round of Kick Two, Pick Two, honoring the legendary director behind When Harry Met Sally, The Princess Bride, and countless other comedy classics. Finally, as always, the cycle of movie massacre mayhem continues when Jay reveals what fresh Hell he has waiting for Mike on the next episode!
Welcome to the 2025 ’Jitsu Awards! Every January, the fools behind Filmjitsu gather for a very special episode, where Mike and Jay look back at the 25+ terrible movies they endured in 2025 and attempt to extract whatever scraps of value remain. Will Nicolas Cage take home Best Actor simply for showing up in Left Behind? Can Roseanne Barr topple her co-star Meryl Streep from She-Devil for Best Actress? And what, exactly, will become of Vanilla Ice, subversive German necrophiliac satire, and half-naked women dancing on beer-soaked New York City bar tops? It’s time to find out! After (almost) all the awards are handed out, Mike and Jay unleash their Bottom Five Hot Takes of the Year—spicy opinions that frequently escaped their mouths before their brains could intervene. Then it’s time for a rousing round of Kick Three, Pick One, as the hosts crown the Best Picture they reviewed in 2025 from a shared slate of nominees. And finally, as tradition demands, everything ends where it always begins: one host wielding a film as a deadly weapon against the other, kicking off another year of cinematic blight. Happy New Year, Filmjitsu style!
Just four days before Christmas, the holiday that somehow balances goodwill and rampant consumerism with alarming confidence, Filmjitsu unwraps its latest seasonal offering: a full review of Love Actually. Richard Curtis’s 2003 all-star rom-com is a film that lives in two completely different cultural realities at once: perpetually lodged near the top of “Best Christmas Movies Ever” lists, while also earning a permanent spot on more than a few “Worst Movies of All Time” rankings. And in true Filmjitsu fashion, the co-hosts are split right down the middle: one embracing the movie’s emotional generosity, the other recoiling from its aggressively cozy chaos. After wrestling with the film’s tonal whiplash, the guys count down their Bottom Five Subplots, side stories that feel less “interwoven tapestry” and more “air-dropped from completely different movies,” complete with crowbarred romances, third-act hijacks, and baffling detours involving everything from wolves to heroin. 2025 wraps with a final Dueling Double Bills match, and this time it's so high stakes that listener involvement may be unavoidable. It’s a merry-and-bright holiday special done the Filmjitsu way, which means no one gets what they want… except listeners who had cinematic suffering at the top of their Christmas lists!
Filmjitsu rings in the holidays with Mike wielding a film as a deadly weapon that nobody asked Santa for: National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation 2: Cousin Eddie’s Island Adventure. A festive disaster more off-putting than kitty kibble fruitcake, and the guys follow it up with their Bottom Five Spin-offs, a rundown of the most unnecessary cinematic continuations ever inflicted on an audience. The co-hosts then return to their year-long Dueling Double Bills stalemate, with a special surprise teased if the tie survives until the upcoming “Year in Review - 'Jitsu Awards” episode. And because holiday vengeance is a Filmjitsu tradition, Jay ensures Mike gets exactly what he deserves—extending their yuletide punishment two episodes! It's all unrwapped on this episode of Filmjitsu: Wielding films as deadly weapons—especially the ones nobody asked Santa for.
Filmjitsu puts a (fashionably late) final piece of candy into your Halloween haul with a review of the 1987 no-budget German exercise in poor taste, Nekromantik. Yeah, it’s about what it sounds like, and yes, it goes exactly where you think it will. But could anyone have predicted that Mike would react so violently to Jay’s cinematic claymore that he’d end up in the hospital? Mike recounts how this infamous slice of exploitation horror led to an actual emergency room visit before the guys count down their Bottom Five Romantic Horrors, a repugnant roll call of films that make love and disgust uncomfortably inseparable. (Spoiler: David Cronenberg shows up because of course he does.) As usual, things wrap with a spirited round of Dueling Double Bills before Mike reveals what’s next for Jay on the upcoming—and somehow still holiday-themed—episode. Yes, the podcast that wields films as deadly weapons has leapt straight from “Happy Halloween” to “Happy Holidays” faster than the seasonal aisle at Target. And honestly… what’s more hurtful than that?
The Filmjitsu Halloween train keeps 'a-rollin' with special guests Justin Santo and Diego Santo-Munoz who join their dad, regular co-host Jay, for an impromptu examination of the entire Final Destination franchise! From death by speeding bus to piercings in uncomfortable places, this horror-heavy episode braves some dangerous and bizarre twists of fate during the main review of every film in this storied series, before diving headfirst into an extended three-person bottom five roundtable about cinematic deaths! From decapitations to shark attacks, and tommy-gunning to scissor-suicide, the Santo clan keep the calendar page pinned to the last day of October! So put down those Hummel Christmas Dolls and re-light your Jack-o-Lantern, because at the podcast that wields films as deadly weapons, Spooky Season is over when we say it's over!
It’s that time of year again—the pumpkins are lit, the coffins creak open, and the Filmjitsu Halloween Series rises from the grave! In this first of three frights for the season, Mike hands Jay a slice of ‘90s pay-cable horror cheese: Tales from the Crypt Presents: Bordello of Blood! Starring Dennis Miller as a snarky private eye investigating a brothel full of bloodsuckers, this late-night relic from 1996 proves that not every tale from the Crypt was worth telling. Will Jay find pleasure in this neon-soaked vampire romp, or will Miller's painful wisecracks and the film's nonsensical plot make him cancel his HBO subscription? After the main review, the guys drain a few pints of creativity for their Bottom Five '...of Blood's, a gloriously stupid challenge where they take perfectly respectable non-horror movies, slap “of Blood” onto the title, and pitch their own horrific re-imaginings. From Drop Dead Fred of Blood to On Golden Pond of Blood, it’s a cornucopia of cinematic crimes against good taste! And because it wouldn’t be Halloween without a little extra mischief, the episode wraps with a terrifying round of Dueling Double Bills, where random horror picks force the hosts to conjure the ultimate double features from Hell. So sharpen your stakes, fill your goblet, and lock your crypt, because Filmjitsu is back in black (and red) for Halloween—and this time, blood is on tap!
After many years of bad-movie watching, the guys finally make their way to Uwe Boll, the infamous shlock director whose career largely consists of nearly unwatchable videogame adaptations. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale was Boll's 2007 attempt at a big-budget, all-star adventure and Jay - on the advice of an old friend - drops this $60 million dollar bomb on Mike's head. As he's done with countless other terrible movies, from Cool as Ice to Coyote Ugly, will Mike be able to turn this cinematic pain into pleasure? Find out during an epic main review and stick around as the guys list off their Bottom Five Kings, a list of movie monarch malcontents that is sure to surprise. After a quick trip through the listener mail bag, it's once again time for Mike to exact his revenge, handing Jay not only a weird bit of movie mayhem but a special offering to mark the start spooky season! This episode's got everything - from Burt Reynolds choking out his agent to a rumor about Ed Begley Jr.'s BDE - so slap on some headphones and put on your finest leathers because a-dungeon-siegin' you're-a-goin' with the podcast that wields films as deadly weapons!
Tackling something entirely new for Filmjitsu, Mike slaps Jay with the huge cinematic tortilla that is the 2019 documentary/mockumentary Wrinkles the Clown. And Jay, mouth full of water and brain full of contempt, does his best to keep himself together while discussing clown fear, parenting and Inuit folktales. This is a weird one for sure, but the guys return to their usual shenanigans while counting down their Bottom Five Punishments, a collection of bizarre, frequently upsetting, and often cruel diegetic disciplines that include being slapped with a VHS tape, cursed with inexplicable paralyzation and forced to eat... chocolate cake? If that's not enough, during a raucous round of Dueling Double Bills, Mike and Jay pay their respects to Robert Redford while pairing some of his movies with the likes of... Shakes the Clown. It's clowns and punishment this week, a three-ring cinema side-show served-up with a side of Greek auteurism and the discovery of a 1981 nexus of talent! Step right up, folks—because this episode again proves the harshest punishment is usually just hitting ‘play.’
Attention Filmjitsu listeners! With no reason beyond a desire to watch and review a b-movie with a respected pair of other podcasters, Mike and Jay invited Ross Bratin and Tripp Burton from the movie-review pod A Tripp Through Comedy for their first Podcast Collab Special! And what movie could possibly warrant enough discussion for four film podcasters? Why Frankenhooker of course! This 1990 horror-comedy updates Mary Shelly's classic tale by moving it to New York City and filling it with hookers and "super-crack." Among Mike and Jay's all-time favorite b-movies, will Ross and Tripp be as enthusiastic about a film featuring the tagline "A terrifying tale of sluts and bolds?" Find out by giving the extended main review a listen and then stick around as all four hosts count down their Bottom Five Girlfriends, lists that have at least one heavily-debated hot-take as well as one unanimous pick! So put on your six-inch platform heels, don your best purple bra and get ready for 90 minutes of fun, because Filmjitsu and A Tripp Through Comedy are teaming up and asking you, "Wanna Date?!?"
As "Hot Filmjitsu Summer 2025" concludes, Jay "Streep-slaps" Mike with the Meryl Streep grenade he annually pulls the pin on. This year Mike had to endure "She-Devil," a 1989 "comedy" about a housewife seeking revenge on her philandering husband by punishing the high-society romance novelist who stole him. Featuring the unlikely combo of Meryl Streep and Roseanne Barr as its headliners, "She-Devil" was the perfect choice to partner with the guys' Bottom Five Team Ups, a list of promising—or at least intriguing—marquee matches that wound up disappointing in some way. After the guys finish talking about everyone from Elvis to Estelle Getty, they take a moment to offer their respects to another great talent that recently passed with a game of Kick Two, Pick Two. And, as always, the cycle of mayhem continues with Mike revealing what Jay's next cinematic punishment will be.
Mike sends Jay back to the beaches of 1993 with Weekend at Bernie’s II, the definition of an unnecessary sequel that doubles down on absurdity by giving everyone’s favorite dead guy a tropical vacation, a voodoo curse, and an uncanny ability to boogie. Will Jay find the sun-soaked slapstick charming, or will Bernie’s reanimated antics leave them washed ashore in cinematic despair? After the main review, the guys island-hop through their Bottom Five Islands, a countdown of movie atolls, sand traps, and forgotten rocks that prove not all paradise is worth visiting. Then, it’s time for another heated round of Dueling Double Bills, where surprise titles must be paired with equally unexpected cinematic companions. Finally, Jay leaves Mike stranded with his pick as this "Hot Filmjitsu Summer" of punishment concludes. So grab your sunscreen, pack your conch shell, and remember: dead men may tell no tales, but they sure can ruin your vacation.
As the 2025 version of Superman cleans up at the global box office, Jay sends Mike to 1987 to watch the most maligned version of "the man of steel" this side of anything Zack Snyder touched. Superman IV: The Quest for Peace was Christopher Reeve's final screen outing as the character which began with the largely beloved '78 Superman. Will their respect for the actor's undeniable skill and charisma withstand a movie featuring "Nuclear Man" as its main villain? Find out in Mike's main review and then stick around as the guys count down their Bottom Five Super Powers, a list of extraordinary abilities they find anything but. After that, the co-hosts dust off Kick Two, Pick Two to pay tribute to one of Mike's fallen heroes, after which he wipes his tears by assigning Jay the next film that'll keep this "Hot Filmjitsu Summer" a cinematic scorcher!
After years of slapping Jay with a cinematic tortilla the size of a cruise ship, Mike shows mercy and assigns Jay a Filmjitsu-team favorite... set on a cruise ship. On paper, there's no way 1998's "Deep Rising" could earn a positive review, for not only does it have a title that makes filmgoers do a double-take, but it also has Treat Williams as the headliner and is directed by the guy responsible for "G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra." But in a "hear me out" for the ages, Jay—and Mike—explain why "Deep Rising," and indeed all b-movies, are worthy not only of your time, but your love as well! And speaking of love, how about that title!? After fawning all over, "Deep Rising," the guys list off their Bottom Five Unintentional Porn Titles, movies with names that make you blush when you mention what you were up late watching last night! After that, this saucy theme is kept alive during a game of Dueling Double Bills until, finally, Jay reveals what's in store for Mike on the next episode. So sit back and grab some lotion and Kleenex because it's summer and time to turn on Filmjitsu!
Jay tests Mike's faith in, well... anything, by forcing him to watch the 2014 bargain basement Bible blip, "Left Behind" in which Nicolas Cage navigates both a plane and the apocalypse while trying desperately to keep a straight face. Piles of clothes and dime-store special effects abound, but was Mike embraced in a freeing, heavenly light or just left with an eternal laundry list? Find out during the main review and then stick around while the guys list off their Bottom Five Nicolas Cage performance, an array of eccentric on-screen (and perhaps imagined?) roles that the award-winning, much-adored actor simply couldn't pull off. After unlocking Cage's various national non-treasures, Mike and Jay play an end-of-the-world inspired game of Dueling Double Bills before Mike reveals what's in store for Jay on the next episode. So put on a pair of clean underwear and get rapture-ready because this episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons is purely divine!
After the latest "Sophie's Choice" listener poll crowned The Garbage Pail Kids Movie as the next cinematic abomination Jay must endure, Mike's laughter is only slightly less annoying than the fart-propelled, snot-faced, uncanny valley horrors on display in the film. Did Jay find the movie as upsetting as its reputation suggests? Find out by having a listen to the main review and stick around as the guys count down their Bottom Five Bullies, honoring the worst tormentors ever to terrorize movie screens. They also crack open the mailbag to catch up on listener feedback before Jay reveals what fresh cinematic hell might be in store for Mike next time. So plug your nose, grab some disinfectant, and join the dumpster fire that is Filmjitsu!
In this week's episode, Jay sends Mike back to 1999 with A24’s Y2K, a horror-comedy hybrid stuffed with glow sticks, AOL CDs, and the crushing weight of secondhand embarrassment. After Mike tries to make sense of weaponized nostalgia, teenage idiocy, and killer iMacs the guys count down their Bottom Five Period Pieces—a list of historical misfires and anachronistic abominations. Then, they battle in a game of Dueling Double Bills, where two surprise titles must be paired with perfect (or perfectly bad) companion films. Finally, Mike gets his revenge by announcing the next movie Jay will have to endure, ensuring that the war of bad cinema continues into the new millennium... or at least the next episode.
Jay takes a seat at the world’s most uncomfortable dinner party courtesy of Mike’s latest cinematic punishment: Sushi Girl (2012), a post-Tarantino crime flick where the tension is raw, the violence is extra crispy, and the titular sushi girl lies perfectly still while a bunch of washed-up crooks yell at each other in between flashbacks. Mark Hamill wonderfully hams it up, Tony Todd tries to class up the joint, and somewhere in the middle a rogue's gallery of B-movie/slumming A-list stars arrive; including Michael Biehn, Danny Trejo, Sonny Chiba, Jeff Fahey and Noah Hathaway, the now all-grown-up guy who played Atreyu from The Neverending Story! Jay tries to figure out if this is a crime thriller, a food safety violation, or both, and then the guys count down their Bottom Five Meals—cinematic servings of food so unappetizing they’ll have you reaching for antacid. And if all that weren’t enough to settle your stomach, the guys close out the show by paying tribute to the recently-passed Tony Todd with a memorial tribute round of Kick Two, Pick Two. So grab your chopsticks, question your life choices, and join the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons where, like sushi, revenge is served cold.
Jay sends Mike boot-scootin’ straight into the tequila-soaked hellscape of Coyote Ugly (2000)—a movie where dreams are big, tank tops are small, and apparently all of life’s problems can be solved with a gratuitous bar-top dance number. Was egregious cinematic leering over Piper Perabo, Tyra Banks, Maria Bello and Bridget Moynahan enough to help Mike endure the twangy torment of this feature-length soundtrack commercial? The guys will answer that and ponder many other existential questions, such as "who cleans up this alcohol-drenched and glass-littered horror show of a bar each night?" After the main review, the guys pull out their Bottom Five Needledrops—those cringeworthy moments when Hollywood smashed the “play” button on the most ill-fitting, and often most-overused, songs imaginable. Finally, they wrap things up with a rowdy round of Dueling Double Bills, slinging movie pairings with all the reckless abandon of a bartender spraying down a row of shot glasses. So dust off your cowboy boots, leave your inhibitions at the door, and remember: this podcast doesn’t do water, and it sure as hell doesn’t do requests!
In the latest episode of the podcast that wields films like deadly weapons, Mike drags Jay kicking and screaming into the twisted world of Rumpelstiltskin (1995)—a movie that asks the bold question, “What if a goblin got loose in 1990s Los Angeles and immediately learned to drive stick shift?” Between the boundlessly illogical plotting, endless baby screaming, and an ancient curse powered by hammy one-liners, the guys do their best to articulate a cinematic experience that feels less like a fairy tale and more like a cousin to Tommy Wiseau's The Room. After that, Jay and Mike count down their Bottom Five Names—a celebration of the worst, weirdest, and most aggressively stupid character names ever committed to film. Finally, in a heartfelt tribute, they honor the late, great Val Kilmer by playing a special round of Kick Two, Pick Two—pitting four of Kilmer’s movies against each other, with only two allowed to survive. So grab your favorite screaming infant, fire up your motorcycle, and join the fairy tale that somehow no one wanted—but everyone deserves to hear about!
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