Adult Child

After an eleven-month hiatus, Adult Child is back... messier, deeper, and more honest than ever.Host Andrea Ashley returns to revisit what it really means to heal from a dysfunctional family, through brutal honesty, emotional truth, and humor (of course).This season kicks off with vulnerability and chaos — trauma bonds, repetition compulsion, and a story she’s never told before.Buckle the hell up. Healing’s not linear, and it’s about to get real.— — —⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/ Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Toxic shame isn’t just a feeling—it’s a state of being, hardwired into our nervous system through childhood experiences. Let's break down the neuroscience behind toxic shame and see how we can begin to rewire our brains for healing.​Robyn Gobbel is a psychotherapist specializing in relational neuroscience, translating complex brain science into practical strategies for parents and professionals. She authored "Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors," providing insights into understanding and addressing challenging child behaviors. Key Takeaways:What Makes Shame Toxic? Unlike guilt or healthy shame, toxic shame makes you believe you are fundamentally flawed, not just that you made a mistake.How Toxic Shame Gets Wired Into the Brain Early experiences of misattunement, neglect, or invalidation shape how we see ourselves and stay locked in our nervous system.Rewiring Shame Through Disconfirming Experiences Healing requires new, safe experiences that contradict old shame-based expectations of rejection and abandonment.Why We Keep Recreating Trauma in Relationships Our brains unconsciously seek familiar dynamics, hoping for a different outcome—but healing means consciously breaking those cycles.The Role of Memory Reconsolidation in Healing We can rewire our brain’s response to shame by reshaping how we store and process painful past experiences.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodCheck out La Pure and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://www.lapurecosmetics.comOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⚓JOIN THE SHITSHOW — The Adult Child Healing Community6 weekly Zoom support groups · Discussion boards · Peer connection👉 theshitshow.mn.co🗞️ SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATIONGet the newsletter for community updates, healing insights & early access to workshops.➡️ Join here💁‍♀️ SUPPORT THE POD☕ Buy Me a Coffee – help Andrea (and her cats) eat🛍️ Shop Shitshow Merch💬 CONNECT WITH ANDREAInstagram → @adultchildpodTikTok → @adultchildpodYouTube → @adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodSPONSORSCheck out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILDCheck out Happy Mammoth, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 15% off happymammoth.com.Check out SiderAL, Use Code ADULTCHILD for 10% off https://pharmanutra-us.com/ Check out Bioma for 15% of your order gobioma.com/adultchildOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What happens when the very people who were supposed to teach you love taught you pain instead? When you’ve been wired for abandonment and neglect, it’s no wonder your nervous system confuses chaos for connection.Lisa A. Romano is a certified life coach, bestselling author, and leading voice in codependency and inner child recovery. After growing up in a home defined by addiction, denial, and emotional neglect, Lisa spent years chasing love in all the wrong places before realizing her patterns were rooted in unresolved childhood wounds.🔑 Mother Hunger & Emotional Neglect – How unmet childhood needs for nurture and safety leave us chasing love in all the wrong places as adults.🔑 Mistaking Pain for Love – Why chaotic relationships feel familiar and safe to adult children of dysfunctional families, even when they’re toxic.🔑 The Cycle of Self-Abandonment – How people-pleasing, perfectionism, and ignoring our needs are survival strategies that keep us disconnected from ourselves.🔑 Reprogramming the Subconscious – Why awareness alone isn’t enough, and how tools like meditation, journaling, and rewiring negative self-talk can change deep patterns.🔑 Breaking the Family Denial System – How speaking the truth about your childhood creates liberation, even if it means being labeled “crazy” by your family.🔑 The Path to Self-Reclamation – Why healing requires radical self-honesty, self-compassion, and releasing the need for others’ validation.Our Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the pain you’re feeling today isn’t about the breakup, but about every wound that came before it? When abandonment gets triggered, it pulls you straight back into the shame and fear of childhood.Susan Anderson is a psychotherapist and author known as the leading expert on abandonment and healing attachment wounds. Her groundbreaking work comes not only from clinical expertise, but from living through the pain of being suddenly abandoned after nearly two decades of marriage.The Invisible Drain on Self-Esteem – Why abandonment trauma creates a chronic leak in self-worth that no achievement or relationship can fully patch until the wound itself is addressed.The 5 Stages of Abandonment – Shattering, withdrawal, internalizing, rage, and lifting — the swirl every survivor cycles through, and why knowing the stages helps normalize the chaos.How Childhood Shame Echoes in Adult Love – The rejection, neglect, or humiliation we experienced as kids resurfaces in relationships, fueling self-blame and emotional panic when faced with loss.Why We Choose Abandoning Partners – The unconscious pull toward people who can’t meet us emotionally, and how that cycle reenacts our earliest wounds.The Role of the Inner Child – How creating a “Big Me/Little Me” relationship gives us a way to reparent ourselves and redirect attachment energy inward.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What happens when speaking your truth means losing the very people you’ve spent your whole life trying to please? For so many adult children, breaking the silence around abuse and dysfunction doesn’t bring closeness—it brings exile, denial, and the gut-punch of realizing love was always conditional.Dr. Ingrid Clayton is a clinical psychologist, trauma therapist, and the author of Believing Me: Healing from Narcissistic Abuse and Complex Trauma and Fawning Why the Need to Please Makes Us Lose Ourselves–and How to Find Our Way Back. Beyond her professional expertise, Ingrid shares her deeply personal story of surviving childhood narcissistic abuse, decades of gaslighting, and ultimately being estranged from her family after telling the truth. In this conversation, she opens up about how breaking silence became both the greatest heartbreak of her life—and the most powerful step toward reclaiming herself.🔑 The Betrayal of Silence – Why speaking out about abuse often leads to family backlash, denial, and estrangement.🔑 Gaslighting’s Lasting Impact – How years of being told “you’re the problem” erodes trust in your own memories—and what it takes to rebuild it.🔑 The Fawn Response Uncovered – Why people-pleasing and self-sacrifice feel like safety when they’re really survival strategies from childhood.🔑 Estrangement as Self-Protection – How setting boundaries—even with a parent—can be the only path to break cycles of harm.🔑 Owning the Story to Heal the Wounds – Why minimizing or dismissing trauma keeps us stuck, and how naming it opens the door to real recovery.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

What if the apology, the change, the parent you always wanted… never comes? This episode dives into the painful hope that keeps so many adult children of dysfunctional families stuck.Alana Carvalho is a licensed mental health counselor, author, and speaker specializing in codependency, perfectionism, and relationships. Having grown up in a dysfunctional family herself, Alana knows firsthand the toll enmeshment and unhealthy dynamics can take — and she’s turned that lived experience into a mission to help others untangle from toxic patterns and build healthier, more authentic connections.🔑 Key TakeawaysThe Cost of Waiting for Parents to Change – Why holding onto the hope of an apology or transformation from a dysfunctional parent can keep adult children stuck in cycles of pain and disappointment.Perfectionism as Survival Mode – How growing up in chaos wires us to believe love and safety are earned through achievement, control, and being “good enough.”Codependency Isn’t Compassion – The difference between true empathy and the compulsive caretaking that comes from enmeshment, blurred boundaries, and survival conditioning.The Fantasy of Repair in Therapy – Why bringing abusive or narcissistic parents into therapy often backfires, and what true healing requires instead.Healthy Love After Dysfunction – How breaking free from family enmeshment creates space for authentic selfhood, intimacy, and relationships rooted in freedom rather than fear.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

When the people who were supposed to protect you also hurt you, your nervous system learns: closeness is dangerous. This is a conversation about what it takes to finally let yourself receive the love you’ve been craving your whole life — without running from it when it shows up.Paul Gilmartin is a comedian and writer best known as the host of The Mental Illness Happy Hour, a podcast that’s been exploring the messier side of the human mind for over a decade. He shares about his own path through addiction, recovery, and learning how to build a healthy relationship after a lifetime of avoiding intimacy.Key TakeawaysWhy Avoidants Pull Away – How childhood trauma wires your nervous system to see closeness as unsafe, even when you crave connection.Overcoming the Fear of Intimacy – Paul’s path from avoiding commitment to building a secure, deeply connected relationship.Dating with Boundaries – What happens when you create a plan for slow, intentional dating… and what it means when you throw it out the window.Breaking Old Attraction Patterns – How Paul stopped chasing red flags and learned to spot emotional availability.Healthy Love Without Losing Yourself – Building a relationship where both partners have full, independent lives and connection feels like “the ice cream on top.”When Vulnerability Changes Everything – The surprising power of disclosing your story early on, and why the right person won’t run.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co6 weekly zoom support groups (see the full schedule here!)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chat📰SIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodhttps://www.youtube.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

You don’t have to be hit, screamed at, or abandoned to grow up with deep emotional wounds. Sometimes the most lasting pain comes from parents who smiled on the outside — but couldn’t truly see, hold, or care for who you were.Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and the author of five books, including the bestselling Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents. Her work has helped put a name to the pain so many of us spent years minimizing or couldn’t quite explain.🔑 Key takeaways from this episode:What emotionally immature parenting looks like—and how it hides in “normal” families and high-functioning dysfunction.How conditional love and emotional reactivity lead to chronic self-doubt and fear of authentic connection.What parentification is—and how being your parent’s emotional support blurs the line between love and survival.The invisible wounds of emotional neglect: never feeling seen, soothed, or safe—despite having “everything you needed.”Why some adult children blame themselves and seek healing, while others deflect, deny, and avoid accountability.⬇️DAMN THE JOIN SHITSHOW - ADULT CHILD HEALING COMMUNITY⬇️https://theshitshow.mn.co4 weekly zoom support groups (Sun 3: 30 pm EST, Mon 8:30 pm EST, Tues 1 pm EST, & Thurs 8:30 pm EST)Support community at your fingertips with discussion boards and chatSIGN UP FOR SHITSHOW NATION - ADULT CHILD NEWSLETTER👩HELP A GIRL & CAT EAT🐱  www.buymeacoffee.com/adultchild🛍️SHITSHOW MERCH🛍️www.adultchildpodcast.com/shop🎙️NEW TO THE POD🎙️How I learned I was an Adult Child - The Tale of 2 BriansTHE LAUNDRY LIST - Common Characteristics of an Adult ChildFollow Andrea on socialwww.instagram.com/adultchildpodwww.tiktok.com/@adultchildpodOur Sponsors:* Check out Bioma Health and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: gobioma.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Calm: https://calm.com/ADULTCHILD* Check out Happy Mammoth and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://happymammoth.com* Check out PharmaNutra and use my code ADULTCHILD for a great deal: https://pharmanutra-us.comAdvertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brandsPrivacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy