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Actually, This Is Not Advice is a podcast hosted by Nadia Meli and Vienda Maria.
Two elderly millennial friends from Italy/Austria/Germany/Australia/England who think their chats should be public. Sit, walk, run or fly with us while we share stories, philosophies and uncensored, (sometimes) nuanced perspectives of our experiences, thoughts and observations on everyday life and beyond (yes, we'll talk about that too). With humour, depth, honesty we'll explore how our zig-zag unique backgrounds and lifestyles inform our beliefs, choices and relationships.
Two elderly millennial friends from Italy/Austria/Germany/Australia/England who think their chats should be public. Sit, walk, run or fly with us while we share stories, philosophies and uncensored, (sometimes) nuanced perspectives of our experiences, thoughts and observations on everyday life and beyond (yes, we'll talk about that too). With humour, depth, honesty we'll explore how our zig-zag unique backgrounds and lifestyles inform our beliefs, choices and relationships.
23 Episodes
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The one where we talk about everything we know about boundaries and how to set them. We share our journeys, the pendulum swing between having few to having many, and our toolbox for creating and communicating boundaries when it gets hard. Building boundaries goes against our innate human desire to be loved and accepted, so we ignore building them. It is not easy to set and communicate our boundaries, but they are essential ingredients for our health, relationships, and safety. Boundaries give us a sense of power and control over our physical space, thoughts, feelings, and behaviours.
The one where we speak about our personal perspectives on becoming biological mothers, our strong opinions on parenthood, IVF, and our social conditioning on women having to be mothers to be 'real women' and so much more. Please practice kindness and self-responsibility as this topic and conversation may be triggering to anyone going through IVF, or actively trying to become a parent.
The one where we speak about our journeys from 0 to personal brand across a decade in two varying fields: wedding photography and personal development. We address the gifts, the challenges, the highs and lows, what we love and what we struggle with and how we are moving forward from here as we navigate tremendous changes in the online field.
The one where we speak to our past relationship breakups and how we moved through the grief and pain of their ending. So many things are changing all around us at the moment, including the way that we conduct ourselves in romantic intimate relationships. We reflect on what works for us and our lived experiences and explore some of the questions we receive from our listeners on the topic.
The one where we discuss if we should consume art made by problematic people? And how exactly do you define 'problematic', isn't that all of us? We often hear "it's about the art not the artist", but is it really that simple?
The one where we unpack the trendy concept of manifesting and challenge it with some questions like “Did you really manifest it or were you just in a privileged position?” “Did you maybe get lucky?” “What is the chain of events that lead you to get what you want?” We explore ho we re-define it to something closer to the reality we live in. If you are as tired of it as we are, this is a conversation you don't want to miss! We would love to hear your thoughts on it below!
The one where we discuss all the beauty and skincare trends we have bought into and tested - maybe you recognise some of them :) We also speak about what the armour of beauty means to us, how we use it and the motivation behind running after trends. Enjoy! Leave us a comment, a question or an email: actuallythisisnotadvice@gmail.com
The one where we answer our first fan email ;) and discuss redefining one’s identity after starting over, how to stay positive when the world is full of inequality and creating a life of one’s own on your terms.
The one where we cry, there are a lot of long pauses, a lot of questions and not many answers. We have been having the same conversations with friends about this again and again and it feels like a lot of us are hitting a wall:
We are tired of the system we live in. This capitalist, unjust, patriarch, messed up society that values numbers over humans, exploits others to accumulate more
How do we get out? Where is the exit button?
Can you really live off grid outside of this system when you still need to be a part of it somehow to survive? We don't hold back in this episode!
The one where we give you advice - irony! We get into questions you have sent in and tell you what we think based on our personal experiences and observations on each topic. They include:
How do you get over and heal from heartbreak?
My partner cheated on me but told me right after, and swore it was just once, do I give him another chance?
How do you do something you really want but are scared of?
Our first time, our last time, our worst time and our best time. And everything in-between incl: how sexy consent is, getting finger-raped, our sexual evolutions, what we now know to look out for and a few related tangents.
***Please be aware that we touch on some sensitive topics so take good care of yourself and listen responsibly. If you think you might feel triggered, please protect yourself, and move on from this episode.
Do we feel old? Are we scared of aging? What are the lovely sides of getting older? We answer these questions honestly and rant about the (under)-representation of older women in society and media, crooked eyeliner, saggy boobs and the joys and wisdom of getting older.
The one where we attempt to broach the broad and nuanced topic of beauty, social beauty standards and how they have impacted our lives, experiences of the world and our place in it. This conversation is just a beginning of something longer that needs to be unpacked.
We speak to International Women’s Day and the world we want to see in contrast to the world we have grown up in where men have more power, respect and safety in their every day life while we, as women, have had to use our voices to come anywhere close to receiving the same.
We talk about things that make us feel things, being sensitive in a desensitised world and how that relates to dating in recent years as we have matured inclusive of how the world of emotions, self-awareness and dating apps has changed around us.
The one where we chat about what we're currently watching on Netflix and our periods now vs. in our twenties. Bust mostly, this is a conversation about if we feel at home anywhere at this point in our life. We both have moved a lot and don't identify strongly with one culture or nationality. So the question of home and belonging can be a tricky one. The answers might surprise you!
A little bit of an interview: Vienda asks Nadia about her religious upbringing, how it shaped her and why she is an atheist today. We talk new-age spirituality based on our own experiences and how growing up Vienda connected with the spiritual world and what it means to her today. We explore if extreme devotion to either ends of the spectrum tends to be from a place of desperation and trauma rather than a healthy desire to seek deeper understanding. Strap yourselves in, it's intense.
Welcome back! Today we chat about the shitty parts of friendships: conflict! How do we navigate it? How do we hold the complexities of friendships, when do we cut people off vs. sailing the weather of relationships and what has our gut feeling told us about friends in the past?
It's a juicy one.
In this episode we discuss: • What friendship means to us based on our histories and backgrounds • What we look for in friendships in this season of our lives • How we make new friends and maintain old friendships as people who have lived and traveled many different places.
Introducing 'Actually, this is not advice'! Two elderly millennial friends from Italy/Austria/Germany/Australia/England who think their chats should be public. Sit, walk, run or fly with us while we share stories, philosophies and uncensored, (sometimes) nuanced perspectives of our experiences, thoughts and observations on everyday life and beyond (yes, we'll talk about that too). With humour, depth, honesty we'll explore how our zig-zag unique backgrounds and lifestyles inform our beliefs, choices and relationships.
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