Midlife Mixtape

“Make room for something new”: Surprise! Creator and host Nancy Davis Kho on why it’s time to “sunset” the show after almost five years, plus Eight Big Life Lessons from the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. Sign up for Nancy’s email list The Thank-You Project – makes a great holiday present or 2022 project! Drew Barrymore inducts The Go-Gos into the R&RHOF Jimmie Wilson for Alameda County DA List of Voting Rights organizations to donate to, if you’ve enjoyed the Midlife Mixtape Podcast over the years! Fair Fight Arizona: Living United for Change in Arizona (LUCHA) Georgia: Asian American Advocacy Fund Michigan: Detroit Action Minnesota: TakeAction MN North Carolina: Advance Carolina Pennsylvania: OnePA Wisconsin: Black Leaders Organizing for Communities (BLOC) The amazing musician behind the podcast music on Midlife Mixtape – M. The Heir Apparent The funniest skit I’ve ever seen. Apply medicinally when you are feeling low. The post Ep 111 The Final Midlife Mixtape Podcast Episode appeared first on Midlife Mixtape .

“Stretch the rubber band”: Stanford Center for Longevity’s researcher Ken Smith and co-author Karen Breslau, on conclusions from SCL’s new study that seeks to radically redefine how to live better, when we’re living longer. The New Map of Life from the Stanford Center on Longevity Midlife Mixtape Podcast Ep 52 with Author Mary Laura Philpott – preorder her new book Bomb Shelter now! Alexandra Rosa’s storytelling performance on The Moth, “Call Me The Rock, or Call Me Colombian” This is the OLD map. But a damn good song. Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 110 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 30, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Ken Smith 00:00 What is the thing that makes me want to get up in the morning, and how can I actually orient my life more towards that direction as I get older? Nancy Davis Kho 00:09 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:33 The presenting sponsor of today’s episode is Kindra. Kindra is a health and wellness company revolutionizing menopause. It is backed by science and made by women, for women, and Kindra’s products help women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change. You all know the deli menu: hot flashes, restless sleep, dryness, brain fog. You may not want to have what she’s having at this particular deli, but isn’t it nice to know that there are products that can help you manage better? At their website, OURKINDRA.com, you can figure out exactly which of their products might be in order by taking their 5 minute online quiz. Listeners, both male and female, let me remind you once again that menopause is a natural stage of life for women and it signals the start of what can be the most powerful and impactful times of our lives, as you’ll hear in today’s episode. So shouldn’t we try a little harder to embrace it? You can head to ourkindra.com. That’s OURKINDRA.COM and use code MIXTAPE20 all caps to get 20% off your first order or subscription. That’s ourkindra.com and MIXTAPE20 to get 20% off! [MUSIC] Hi everyone. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, the host and creator of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, and I hope you all had a wonderful Thanksgiving! Especially compared to Thanksgiving 2020 where the four of us were all huddled at home already, everyone just came out of the bedroom again for dinner, this year was wonderful. Our older daughter had a friend in for a visit, and our younger daughter had to actually come home from college to spend the holiday with us, which is a beautiful thing. We headed over to my high school friend’s house for a big gathering, the highlight of which to me was when her son asked me in front of the crowd to share a crazy story of his mom from high school. Oh, I had to crack my knuckles! The possibilities… went with the hydroplaning one. Thank you science, thank you vaccines, thank you booster shots and rapid tests. And as always, don’t take any of it for granted. You never know what’s coming next. So we’re heading into the last month of the year and I know that makes many of us feel contemplative about what’s to come. I recently bought my niece a candle for her 30th birthday that says, “Smells like high hopes and low expectations” which I think is probably the right energy for 2022. That is by the way from Anecdote Candles. This is not an ad for them, but their candles crack me up. They smell great. They are really beautiful. So, high hopes and low expectations. But in all seriousness, a writer friend of mine here in Oakland, Karen Breslau, mentioned to me during the fall that she was busy working on the final report for a brand new research study from the Stanford Center on Longevity, called The New Map of Life. Here’s the deal: in the United States, as many as half of today’s 5-year-olds can expect to live to the age of 100, and this once unattainable milestone may become the norm for newborns by 2050. Yet, the social institutions, norms and policies that await these future centenarians evolved when lives were only half as long and they need updating. In 2018, The Stanford Center on Longevity launched an initiative called The New Map of Life, believing that one of the most profound transformations of the human experience calls for equally momentous and creative changes in the ways we lead these 100-year lives, at every stage. I thought that would be a really good backdrop for the kind of planning and thinking you might be doing around your personal goals in 2022. So I invited Karen and Senior Research Scholar at the center, Ken Smith, to join me to talk about this study, which only came out last week! It is poppin’ fresh. Let me tell you a bit about Karen and Ken. Karen Breslau is the founder of Feature Well Stories, a narrative strategy agency in Oakland, California and a co-author of “The New Map of Life” with the Stanford Center on Longevity. She served as foreign, diplomatic and White House correspondent for Newsweek magazine, and was a producer and reporter for NPR. Karen also worked as a speechwriter and communications strategist, and is co-author with Janet Napolitano of “How Safe are We? Homeland Security Since 9/11.” Ken Smith joined the Stanford Center on Longevity in 2009 and is the Senior Research Scholar and Director of Academic and Research Support, as well as the Center’s Mobility Division. He brings a broad background of over 20 years of management and engineering experience to his role, including positions in the computing, aerospace, and solar energy industries. Ken developed a special expertise in working closely with university faculty to develop projects while at Intel, where he was deeply involved in the creation and management of their network of university research labs. So let’s join these cartographers of The New Map of Life and see where they’re leading us. [MUSIC] Nancy 05:10 I’m so pleased to be here today with Ken Smith, the senior research scholar at the Stanford Center on Longevity and Karen Breslau, who is the co-author of the Stanford’s new study, The New Map of Life. Welcome to the show, Karen and Ken. Karen 05:25 Thank you, Nancy. Ken 05:26 Glad to be here. Nancy 05:27 I’m glad you’re here as well and you know, obviously, a key question when it comes to discussing The New Map of Life: hey, what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? I think that’s an important point on everybody’s roadmap of life. So Ken, I’m going to put you on the spot first. Tell us about your first concert. Ken 05:45 Sure. By the way, I love that question. It’s like a social carbon-14 dating process. Nancy 05:50 Okay, wait. What? I was more of a business major. I don’t know what you just said. Ken 05:54 Oh, it’s a method that scientists often use to date things like fossils by how much of this carbon 14 remains in the material. Nancy 05:59 Oh, sure. Ken 06:00 This is just a social version of that. It tells you a lot about sort of where you came from and when you came from at that time. Nancy 06:10 Yes, of course! All of a sudden, I dialed back to high school science classes, which is the last time I took one. So yeah, sorry. Yeah, listeners, I don’t know much about science, but let’s hear about Ken’s concert. Ken 06:20 So my first concert was I saw the Doobie Brothers at Alpine Valley in Wisconsin in 1979. Nancy 06:26 Nice. Ken 06:27 I think it was probably a celebration of freedom of driver’s license. I went with a group of high school friends. That was back in the day where you were at the DMV on the day of your birthday. Nancy 06:36 Right. Ken 06:37 So the first thing we had to do was go to a concert together without the parents, without getting dropped off, so it was kind of a first freedom. Nancy 06:45 That is an amazing way to celebrate stepping into that new phase of life. I mean, holy smokes, who didn’t want to be 16 and get their license if that was on the other side of it. Was it a good show? Ken 06:56 It was a great show. I still remember. Nancy 06:58 Aright, Karen. What about you? Karen 07:00 I wish I had something as cool to report and I did have another concert in mind… and then this grainy newsreel …the sprocket sound came very sharp … Nancy 07:15 You suddenly had a film strip of your life. Karen 07:20 Yes, I wish it were otherwise, but: Glen Campbell at Houston Astrodome. Rhinestone Cowboy. Nancy 07:29 I don’t think that’s anything to apologize for. First of all, oftentimes, I will have people on the show who say well, this is the FIRST show, but the one I want to talk about is… if you want to throw in the one that really meant something to you, the first one where you paid for a ticket with your own money. But look, I love Glen Campbell. I think you should hold your head high on that. Karen 07:48 I was very into sideburns and the fringe. I thought it was crazy cool at the time. Nancy 07:59 I can’t wait to check out your author picture. I hope you’ve got sideburns and fringe. You should consider getting one made. Karen 08:05 As a woman at this age, that can occur. Nancy 08:15 Speaking of the New Map of Life, I always drop a music video into the show notes, and now I’m thinking what Glen Campbell song could I include? Karen 08:23 Rhinestone Cowboy. Check it out. Nancy 08:25 Yeah, I think he’s got other ones though that are… okay. Well, thanks for the invitation to go to the Glen Campbell rabbit hole. So I wanted to have you on because I’m thrilled to be talking with you about this brand new study from the Stanford Center on Longevity called The New Map of

“From accessory to center stage”: Mark Cushing, founder of the Animal Policy Group and author of “Pet Nation”, on the emotional, physical, and societal benefits of the human-animal bond at midlife and beyond. Pet Nation: The Inside Story of How Companion Animals Are Transforming Our Homes, Culture, and Economy Animal Policy Group From Sandy Hook to the World by Scarlett Lewis, founder of Jesse Lewis Choose Love Movement New in November from the Grown Ass Lady Squad: Are Women’s Lives Just Someone Else’s Business Model? How I quit the diet cycle and refocused on what really matters in life The Secret to a Happy Life? Friendship! DameMagazine.com Modern GenX Woman Podcast Here’s proof that GenX DOES have pets! Thumbs up. Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 109 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 16, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Mark Cushing 00:00 I don’t think there’s a time in your life that the companionship of a pet – by the way, it isn’t limited to dogs or cats – can’t make you feel better. Nancy Davis Kho 00:11 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:35 The presenting sponsor of today’s episode is Kindra. Kindra is a health and wellness company that is revolutionizing menopause, backed by science and made by women, for women. Their products help women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change, like hot flashes, brain fog, restless sleep, dryness, and more. At their website, OURKINDRA.com, you can figure out exactly which of their products might be in order by taking their 5 minute online quiz, or simply clicking one of the following statements: I’m Dry, I’m Hot, I’m Tired, I Can’t Sleep, and everybody’s favorite – It’s Complicated. Oh honey. Isn’t it just. The change comes for all of us ladies, so isn’t it time we started talking about menopause instead of pretending it’s something that only happens to other people? You can head to ourkindra.com. That’s OURKINDRA.com and use code MIXTAPE20 all caps to get 20% off your first order or subscription. That’s ourkindra.com and MIXTAPE20 to get 20% off! [MUSIC] Hi everyone and welcome to Episode 109 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! I’m Nancy Davis Kho, and I’ve been running the show around here since 2017. That feels like a long time ago. Now one of the things I love about this podcast is that – and I’m paraphrasing Vanilla Ice here obviously – if there’s a topic, yo I’ll solve it, check out my guest while the DJ revolves it. In other words, I was kind of curious about why every single person I see on the street is at the end of a dog leash, or has a cockatiel sitting on her shoulder, or is carrying a cat carrier. And I also sensed that adopting our rescue dog, Arlo, last summer was a good thing, net positive for my husband and me to do in midlife. So, thanks to having a podcast, I was able to find someone who can answer questions like that, and that’s the conversation I’m bringing to your ears today. Now, if you are one of the 30% of Americans who don’t have pets – and sorry international listeners, I don’t know what the stats are internationally, but either way this holds for you. Don’t turn this off just because you don’t have a pet. One of the most interesting things I learned in this interview is how even NON-pet owners benefit when the people around them are pet-owners. So I hope you’ll stay tuned, and if you’re one of the many listeners who has sent in pictures of your pets in the past couple of weeks, first of all thank you, because that was a highlight of my day every day. Second, listen all the way to the end of the interview to hear why I wanted that collection, and I’ll tell you where to find it. Today’s guest is Mark Cushing, Founder & CEO of the Animal Policy Group, and author of the brand-new book Pet Nation, a book that tells the inside story of how companion animals are transforming our homes, culture, and economy. A long-time political strategist, government regulatory advisor, corporate executive and former litigator, since 2004, Mark has specialized in animal health, animal welfare, veterinary and veterinary educational issues and accreditation, developing a cutting-edge practice across these sectors. Mark currently leads several industry coalitions and initiatives and is a law school faculty member at Lincoln Memorial, Lewis & Clark and University of Oregon law schools. Ok, sit. I said sit. Sit! Sit! Good girl. Good boy. Alright. Let’s see what Mark has to tell us. [MUSIC] Nancy 03:53 Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Mark Cushing. It’s so good to have you here today. Mark 03:58 What a great topic. And you’re in the Bay Area. It’s fun for me to connect with old haunts there. So thanks for having me on your show. Nancy 04:05 We’ve already established that we may be interrupted at any time by one of two dogs, or one of two cats on both sides. So I think that is very fitting for the topic we’re covering today. Let’s hope so. Right? Mark 04:18 They only improve every situation they join, right? Nancy 04:22 Well, yes, that’s how I feel. Mark, before we get to the good stuff today about your new book, Pet Nation, I want to ask you the most important question, which is: what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? You must get asked this all the time talking about animal policy, right? Mark 04:39 I want you to know that I actually gave this answer to somebody in June in a different forrm, so it’s fresh in mind. My first concert was at the Armory in Salem, Oregon, a very boring state capitol town. The band was Eric Burdon and the Animals. I was asked back in June, “What’s my favorite all time song?” It’s “House of the Rising Sun”. People said to me, “Of all the songs in the world, why would that be your favorite song?” Well, when I was in middle school- we called the junior high back then – I would always check with the band at a concert – not a big name band, but a local band at a concert- to see what was the song right before “House of the Rising Sun.” Because everybody played that song. Why would I do that? Because that was about an eight and a half minute long, slow dance. So it was important to be strategic. This should maybe scare you away from this interview. But I needed to be strategic about my partner for that song. So if I knew the one before it, I could kind of say, “Goodbye, nice dancing with you!” and shoot across the room to whoever was foolish enough to say yes, for an eight and a half minute dance with me. So, there you go. Nancy 05:56 Mark in junior high playing all the angles. I love it. Mark, your first concert was Eric Burdon and the ANIMALS. Have you reflected upon that? Could that have set you upon your path? Mark 06:09 Of course, I was hoping you’d pick that up. Nancy 06:12 Yeah. Of course, I did. Mark 06:14 They weren’t the Stones, Beatles, Cream level, but they were just below it. Nancy 06:20 Do you have a favorite song about pets or animals? I’ll tell you why I’m asking this. I wrote a book that came out in 2019 called The Thank-You Project and each chapter had a playlist and one of the things I wrote about was – this whole book was about how I wrote gratitude letters to people who had helped shaped and inspired me over the course of this one year. At some point, I started writing letters to not-people, and I talked about writing a thank you note to your dog, to your cat, whatever four-legged or winged or scaled animal companion makes your life better. With the playlist for that chapter, I wanted to include a song about pets and I had a really hard time coming up with one. I ended up using a boygenius song called “Me and My Dog” which is just a beautiful song, but there was not a lot to choose from. Mark 07:11 As you asked me, the only things that came to mind were the theme song for TV shows or movies that have animals on them. This will date me but the theme song to Old Yeller. “Come back Yeller, best doggone dog in the West.” I’ve lived most of my life in the West… not all of it. I grew up outside Portland and went to Stanford and was back east, and the south, and came back to the west. And I would substitute the name of my dog for Yeller and sometimes, sing it to him: “Best doggone dog in the West.” I can’t remember a single lyric of the song beyond that, but Yeller, like Lassie, was a pretty serious dog. Nancy 07:57 Lassie figures large in your book. I learned many facts so let’s just dive into Pet Nation. The book has just come out. It’s called Pet Nation: The inside Story of How Companion Animals Are Transforming Our HOMES, CULTURE, and ECONOMY. One stat jumped right out as a measure of what that change looks and feels like. “Since 1998,” you wrote, “The pet population in the US has almost doubled. About two thirds of the country now owns a pet.” That’s just since 1998. So that’s a major change. Mark, what is going on? Can you give us a brief overview of what the reasons are behind that transformation, behind that expansion of pet ownership in the country? Mark 08:43 Well, it’s more than just the number, but the numbers are staggering. Now, we’re close to 70% of households have a pet. Nancy 08:51 I was just going to jump in for one second to say, all you non-pet owners who are listening, hang in there. Because we are going to talk a little bit about the benefits of other people owning pets to you, because that was something I hadn’t thought about. Sorry, go ahead. Mark 09:06 You have the sheer number growing dramatically

“A spirit of curiosity”: Megan Zesati and Holly Sprague, founders of the DryTogether alcohol-free living community for midlife moms, on the benefits of teaming up to cut back on booze, the media messages that boost our consumption, and living AF(AF.) DryTogether.org Harvard Health Article on Women, Alcohol, and COVID-19 Outlander #1 –  your gateway read Presenting sponsor Kindra – use the code MIXTAPE20 for 20% off your first order! Unlock Your Life Podcast with Lori A. Harris Freedom to make the best choices for yourself at midlife, and to worship George Michael. Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 108 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 2, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Holly Sprague 00:01 In my life right now, I’ve got so much going on up there that I need some space, and I need some area that is not consumed with how much I drank last night or how much I’m going to drink tonight. Nancy Davis Kho 00:16 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. 00:26 [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:40 The presenting sponsor of today’s episode of Midlife Mixtape is Kindra. Kindra is a health and wellness company that is revolutionizing menopause. Their products help women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change, like hot flashes, brain fog, restless sleep, dryness, and more. That’s the cafeteria menu you want none of. Kindra is science backed and it’s made for women and by women, and yeah, I’ll go ahead and say I think it’s probably better to get your menopause support products developed by people who have also whipped off a cardigan sweater and shoved their hair into a messy bun in the middle of a meeting, while fanning themselves off with a sheaf of paper. Kindra makes it easy to get personalized product recommendations and educational content with their online quiz. It just takes 5 minutes. Isn’t it time we started talking about the change and embracing it? You can head to ourkindra.com – that’s OURKINDRA.COM and use code MIXTAPE20 – all caps – to get 20% off your first order or subscription. That’s ourkindra.com and the code is MIXTAPE20 to get 20% off! [MUSIC] Nancy 01:48 Hello to all of you who know exactly who will be there wanting some when you try new soft and juicy Bubble Yum… I’m going to give you a minute… It’s the Flavor Fiend. Hi, it’s Nancy Davis Kho. I’m the host and creator of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I have considered doing an episode where I just have you guys all record yourselves singing your favorite 70s or 80s ad jingles, but that would create earworms that might actually be fatal to us at our ages. Who wears short shorts? I’m not even going to give you an answer to that. Actually, I do have an ask for you, before we get to today’s episode. We’re going to be talking soon about pets and midlife in an upcoming show and I want you to send me pictures of yours – the pandemic puppies, the covid cats, friends from the more exotic aisles in the pet store. I’m going to put together a slideshow of the pets that make the lives of Midlife Mixtape listeners better, and I want to make your furry, or winged, or scaled buddy to be included. Just send the pic to dj@midlifemixtape.com before November 11th. That’s it. Send me some cute animals’ pics, please. Make my day. So, I got pitched by today’s guests a few months back, and I was immediately intrigued. Megan Barnes Zesati and Holly Sprague are the founders DryTogether, which is an alcohol-free community for midlife moms that brings together women ages 35-60 years old from around the country. Through virtual events and a robust member-only online forum, the DryTogether community facilitates a safe space for mothers to connect and explore this stage in life – without alcohol. I will cop to being one of the 41% of women who increased her drinking during the pandemic. The RAND did a study and it’s cited in a Harvard business review story on the topic and I’m going to include in the show notes if you want to check it out. I’ve always enjoyed my daily beer, and since college, with a few memorable exceptions, I’ve always been able to stop when I’ve had enough. I guess this is true confessions time for you. Hope you’re ready for this. But when the pandemic started, and especially as it dragged on and the grief and losses piled up, I definitely allowed myself to drink more than I normally would. Studies and anecdotal evidence will tell you that drinking more is common response to dealing with stress, and I ain’t special. I’m pretty common. But recently, my friend Maria and I talked about how women seem to be drinking all the time, way more than our moms and grandmas did. That was even before the pandemic started. The same Harvard article bears out the theory that Maria and I had. Between 2001 and 2013, there was a 16% increase in the proportion of women who drink alcohol, a 58% increase in women’s heavy drinking (versus a rise of 16% in men), and an 84% increase in women’s one-year prevalence of an alcohol use disorder (versus 35% in men). So, basically, women have been drinking more since this was measured in 2001 across the board. I think that’s been influenced a lot by the media we consume that makes drinking seem like the behavioral baseline. I present to you myself as Exhibit A: have you read the Outlander series? Okay. If you haven’t read this yet or if you haven’t seen the show on Starz: it’s basically Scottish Kilt Porn. There’s Time Travel and there are Highlanders, and at all times one of four things is happening in this book series: someone is bleeding, someone is plotting, someone is making love, and someone is drinking whiskey. I started reading the series during the pandemic and let me say: I love these books. I will read them forever. I want to read about Jamie and Clare’s generous and steamy nonagenarian sex life someday.  I’ve read10,000 pages of this series since March 2020. They’re literary comfort food to me. But I find when I read them: I want to drink more. BECAUSE EVERYONE IN THIS BOOK IS DRINKING WHISKEY ALL THE TIME. And TONS of whiskey. I can tell when I’m reading them, I’m like, “I think I’ll have a beer while I read!” so I know I get impacted by what I’m reading, watching, and consuming. Then when you see that level of drinking on TV, and in ads, and in everybody’s memes and on Instagram: Mommy drinks to cope, it’s time for Mommy juice, you’ve earned your drink, you start thinking: maybe 2 drinks a night is normal? Maybe 3 is? I don’t know what normal is anymore. I don’t know if you guys are into horoscopes – I am thanks to Aunt Noonie. I am an April baby so my sign is Taurus. It’s the sign of the zodiac that can be really sybaritic – very self-indulgent, with a tendency to overdo all the earthly luxuries like good food and good drink and cashmere on sale at Garnet Hill. So believe me, I’m the last person to judge anyone else about how you’ve handled the past year and a half, what your preferences are. I am not judging. But I found that for myself by summer of this year 2021, I was getting sick of it. I was feeling really bored of relying on the second drink more often than not, and since then I’ve been working really hard to cut back to my regular baseline of a single daily beer with a goal someday even to get below that. It’s not been easy. It’s amazing how quickly that became habitual. I sometimes wonder if just not drinking altogether would be a better option for me at this stage of life. I think it would be hard because it IS so enmeshed in the culture, and that’s why I invited Holly and Megan on today, and that’s what the conversation is that I have with them. I hope will be of service to you, whoever you are and whatever amount you find yourself about thinking and drinking at midlife. Let’s put on the teakettle and sit down with Holly and Megan of DryTogether. Nancy Davis Kho 07:14 Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, the cofounders of DryTogether, Holly Sprague and Megan Zesati. We’re so happy to have you here today. Holly Sprague 07:22 Hi, thank you so much for having us. Nancy 07:24 Of course, I need to know before we get down to business, and I’m always curious when I have two people on the show whether you know this about each other. Holly, what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? And Megan, you know this question is come in for you next so think it over. Holly 07:39 My first concert was Cyndi Lauper. Yes, I’m a midlife mother right now. My father took me. He was really into getting me into music. That was like one of the good ways that we did bond because after that, he took me to Michael Jackson. So, come on. Nancy 07:56 Wow. And he stayed in the concert venue with you? Holly 07:59 Yeah, he did. Nancy 08:01 He was a trendsetter, because sometimes my guests and I talk about the fact that our parents were the ones who drove us to Syracuse or to Rockport or wherever to go to the show, and then they sat in their car with the newspaper and read that until the concert was over. But as parents ourselves, we go in with the kids. So your dad was kind of cutting edge. Holly 08:18 That’s right. I guess so. I think he really just likes music and he wanted to hear it. Nancy 08:23 Megan, what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? Megan Zesati 08:27 Okay, seventh grade. George Michael, Freedom, Reunion Arena in Dallas, and my friend’s very cool mother brought the two of us. Nancy 08:39 You must be young Gen Xers. That’s what I think, because us old Gen Xers, the o

“Who’s Slash?”: Listeners – and Nancy – share stories of their memorable Gen X Halloweens past, from decidedly non-sexy costume strategies, to 7th graders on the cusp, to home bat invasions. The Perfect Cocktails for Your Perimenopause Party  by Wendi Aarons, Gloria Fallon, and Marilyn Naron Portrait of a Deputy Public Defender (or how I became a punk rock lawyer) by Juanita E. Mantz, Esq Happy Halloween, you grown up goths. Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 107 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on October 19, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Wendi Aarons 00:00 We learned our lesson that is probably not a great idea to dress like a ‘60s burnout named Touch Me Don’t Touch Me when we’re trying to get some action at a fraternity party. 00:11 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] The Presenting Sponsor of Midlife Mixtape is Kindra. Kindra is revolutionizing menopause. They are a health and wellness company helping women navigate the most disruptive signs of the change including hot flashes, brain fog, restless sleep, dryness, and more. It’s science backed and made by women, for women. And as I’ve said on this show before, it’s probably going to be up to GenX to normalize open discussion of this entirely normal phase of life. Like at this conference I just attended, when I leaned over in front of a group of four women I’d never met before, all younger than me, and pulled out the Take 5 bars out of the stash of fun-sized candy that organizers had dumped in the center of the table. And I said to them, “Back when I still had eggs this was the perfect candy for that monthly salty/sweet craving, but now I can eat them whenever I want!” I’m just normalizing it, ladies. You can find your personalized product recommendations and educational content with a quiz that just takes 5 minutes. Isn’t it time we started talking about the change and embraced it? You can head to ourkindra.com and use code MIXTAPE20 (ALL CAPS) to get 20% off your first order or subscription.  That’s ourkindra.com and the code is MIXTAPE20, to get 20% off your first order or subscription from Kindra. I also wanted to make sure you guys are aware of a really cool new little chat book, a little tiny pamphlet-sized fiction collection called Portrait of a Deputy Public Defender (or how I became a punk rock lawyer) . It’s by Juanita E. Mantz Esquire – that’s M-A-N-T-Z – and it’s a multi genre chat book containing memoir pieces, social justice, essays and poetry. It describes the author’s love of punk rock and Juanita’s quest to challenge the system of mass incarceration as a deputy public defender. She talks a lot about the intersection between punk rock and public defense. It’s an insider’s view of a system that is badly broken, but it’s done with love and compassion and a belief that we can do better, we can imagine a better way out of incarceration, especially for people who are mentally ill. The books out now from Bamboo Dart Press –  you can find it at www.BambooDartPress.com – look for Portrait of a Deputy Public Defender (or how I became a punk rock lawyer) . [MUSIC] Nancy 02.58 Hi there and welcome to this special Halloween Edition of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, your host, the creator of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast and the author of the book, The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. Midlife Halloween has its own kind of terror because what is scarier than waking up and seeing your own parents looking back at you from the mirror? It’s absolutely terrifying. So I put out a call on social media and the blog for your GenX Halloween stories. My theory was that GenX never took itself too seriously and would have some fun with the prompt – as exemplified by the story Erin sent in: She wrote, My most unsexy costume was when I dressed as a porta-potty for my department’s Halloween group theme. We were a bunch of Austin City Limits Music Festival survivors. This contest was during the early 00s, so the fest wasn’t quite the well-oiled machine it is today. The costume consisted of many large boxes and a halved broom handle stuck in the middle that I could hold onto to carry that sucker while inside. There was also tons of blue paint and two eyeholes. My porta-potty addition didn’t secure the gold. We came in second place to the Beetlejuice folks. But heck, they deserved it. As someone whose favorite all time Halloween costume was the mailbox my dad built me out of cardboard when I was in 5th grade, I totally respect the Porta Potty game Erin is playing here. By the way, the mailbox design was perfect for late October in Upstate NY because you could put your park on underneath it, and it included a curved top that repelled water in case it jumped above 32 degrees on Halloween night. Which wasn’t often. Because – you guys know this – back then most of us weren’t so worried about being Sexy Nurse or Sexy Ladybug or Sexy PortaPotty. Here’s Susan Rietano Davey, the career reentry expert and one of the co-founders of Prepare to Launch U who I interviewed back in Episode 47: Susan Rietano Davey 03:10 Hi Nancy – It’s Susan here in Connecticut, and I’m calling in with my Halloween story. When I was a freshman in high school about 40 years ago, I was desperate to become cool. And my dear friend Karen was much closer to that than I. So through her, we got an invitation to Ellen’s the Halloween party. Now Ellen was a junior, and the coolest of cool, the top of the heap. And we were so excited to knock her socks off with great Halloween costumes. So we rummaged through Karen’s father’s closet – he was an Army veteran – and we found two perfectly intact army uniforms. So that’s what we dressed up as. And we pulled our hair back severely and we greased it down so it stay under the hats and we even painted bushy mustaches and bushy eyebrows on each other. We showed up on Halloween night at Ellen’s house and we rang the doorbell. She answered it dressed as Scarlett O’Hara. And as we entered her foyer, we saw that all of Ellen’s cool, beautiful friends were dressed as Cinderella, or Snow White, or Charlie’s Angels, and there we were, as two infantry men. Suffice it to say we did not advance our coolness that night. We were never invited back to Ellen’s future parties, but we cemented our friendship that night for sure. And it has lasted all these years later. Nancy 04:30 Was there something in the water for people who would eventually grow up to become Midlife Mixtape listeners? Humor writer Wendi Aarons definitely got the non-sexy memo. Wendi Aarons 04:38 Hi, this is Wendi Aarons and my favorite Halloween memory is from freshman year of college at University of Oregon. My best friend Megan and I were looking for a costume to go to one of the fraternity parties. Those are the big bashes and we were so excited, because it was our first time being at what we thought was a real adult party. We talked and talked about what costume we should wear and finally landed on something that was very genius:  dressing up like one of the guys who got to Eugene, Oregon, sometime in the ‘70s by following the Grateful Dead, and never left. He just sat on a bench on campus and yelled  “Touch Me Don’t Touch Me.” So we thought it’d be a great idea to dress up like Touch Me Don’t Touch Me. We went to Goodwill and just bought a whole bunch of random giant shirts and pants. And we dressed in those and then we dressed in everything that our dorm mates would give us. And basically we looked like that episode of Friends where Joey puts on all of Chandler’s clothes and walks around. We were like sumo wrestlers or something. So we get to the fraternity party and quickly realized that we didn’t get the memo that everybody else did. All the other girls were Sexy Something – not to the extent they are now, where you have, like, a Sexy Tooth Cavity. But everybody was Sexy Kitten or Sexy Genie Dancer or Sexy what have you. And here we roll in, dressed in approximately 500 layers of clothing and sweating our little butts off. And then we actually stood there and were surprised that not even any of the horny fraternity guys would come up and talk to us; we were that repellent. So the next year we took off a few more layers. We never quite got down to the sexy costume level. But we learned our lesson that is probably not a great idea to dress like a ‘60s burnout named Touch Me Don’t Touch Me when we’re trying to get some action at a fraternity party. Nancy 06:52 By the way, did you see Wendi’s latest essay in McSweeney’s called The Perfect Cocktails for Your Perimenopause Party? I’ll put that link in the show notes, right after I mix myself up a “Chin Hair of the Dog.” But of course the exception that proves the rule – we’ve got Carrie from San Francisco who remembers, “When we first moved to Noe Valley” – that’s a neighborhood in San Francisco for those who don’t live near me – Carrie says, “When we first moved to Noe Valley, I dressed up as a goth French maid and dressed up my husband as Captain Jack Morgan and we went around bars and offered to buy anyone a shot of Captain Jack if they let me draw the red lipstick mustache on them.” She says it was the Wet and Wild .99 cent brand that doesn’t wash off. She says, “Had Instagram existed then I might have racked up some serious advertising influencer points. We bought a lot of shots that night.” Carrie’s always been a bit of a trendsetter. Her story remind

“Something besides yourself to love”: Austin music legend Bob Schneider on his latest album, “In a Roomful of Blood With a Sleeping Tiger”, non-autobiographical songs written with autobiographical emotion, and why he shouldn’t rule the world. BobSchneider.com Bob on Instagram, Twitter, Facebook Collective Effervescence essay by Adam Grant – New York Times Contact Nancy to set up Thank-You Project Event this fall! Don’t forget to share your GenX Halloween stories! More here… Since we talked about his ’99 song “2002” so much in our convo…here  it is: Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 106 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on October 5, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Bob Schneider 00:01 I want to be Will Rogers at some point in my life, where there’s nobody on earth that’s not a friend of mine. Nancy Davis Kho 00:08 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] 00:32 Hey there and welcome to Episode 106 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, where we have so much going on today. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, and I’m the host and creator of the podcast, and there are two things I want to tell you quickly and then I promise we are getting right into the interview. First! We have another Listeners’ Stories episode coming up next time and I need your stories! You know how this works. I give you a topic, you guys write in, record yourselves, drop me a comment, and whatever prompt I give you, and this time it is: GenX Halloween. I KNOW you have something to say: your ‘70s, ‘80s, and ’90s Halloween memories. The kind of stories that our Gen Z kids and our Boomer older siblings just couldn’t relate to. Maybe it was the smell of those plastic masks that your parents bought you at the drugstore. Remember those in the cellophane boxes? Maybe it was the lady around the corner that everybody knew put razor blades in apples. Why would she spend time doing that? She was watching General Hospital. She wasn’t trying to hurt anybody. Maybe you went dressed as a mailbox, because back then being clever or weird was better than being sexy. There were no sexy mail boxes. That was maybe just me. I don’t know. Whatever the prompt GenX Halloween brings to mind, we all want to hear it! So you know the drill. You can leave me a voice mail right from your computer! You just go to https://www.speakpipe.com/MidlifeMixtape and you can start recording there with one click. I LOVE when people do this, because then I can incorporate the actual voice of our listeners in the episode. There’s a 90 second limit on these recordings, and you can re-record it as many times as you want. If you’ve got a longer story, just record that into your phone as a voice memo and email it to me. The email is dj@midlifemixtape.com and again, I love hearing these stories in your actual voice. You can send me an email with your story typed out to dj@midlifemixtape.com and I’ll share it in the episode, or you can always send me a Facebook message, a tweet or an Instagram comment. I’m @midlifemixtape So, I need those by October 12th, please, and I’ve already gotten some great ones in, including one that actually took place recently, but it was such a perfect Get Off My Lawn, Gen Z moment that it fits right into the theme. So, Gen X Halloween: what have you got? Second thing I wanted to just say briefly is that this is the time of the year when lots of people start thinking about gratitude, in the run up to Thanksgiving, and I’ve been doing a bunch of virtual and live events about my book, The Thank-You Project. But I still have room for a few more, and I love doing this. Do you have an organization, a club, a class, maybe your work colleagues, just a group that could benefit by knowing more about the power of gratitude letters? Hit me up at dj@midlifemixtape.com and we’ll get the ball rolling. I just did one with an organization called The Choose Love Movement. This is a group founded by the mom of one of the Sandy Hook victims, and it was such an honor to connect with Choose Love and its monthly book club. I love doing it. So, if you have a group and you want to talk about gratitude and thank you letters, I’m your man. Your woman. So, here’s the deal. About 10 years ago I joined a gang. It was a gang of lady humor writers and our main weaponry is the cutting remark, but a bunch of them are based in Austin and told me back then, “You have GOT to check out this musician, Bob Schneider. He’s an amazing performer based in Austin.” So, I did and I’ve been a fan of Bob ever since. Is his music funk, R&B, Latin, Americana? Yes! That and more. It’s everything, and it’s all done with such a great sense of humor, and I’ve had the chance to see Bob play live a whole slew of times in the Bay Area over the past decade. But of course, with the pandemic, concert going ground to a halt. Luckily, I am connected to this concert promoter in San Francisco named KC Turner. You can find KC at KCTurnerPresents.com and at KC Turner Presents on social. And you should, because he is always bringing great acts to the Bay Area. Anyway, I got an email from KC earlier this year saying that he was doing a backyard concert series with different artists and these were really small, like 30 people, everybody had to be fully vaccinated. And one day the email came that one of the artists he was bringing to town was Bob Schneider. I JUMPED at the chance to hear Bob in such an intimate setting, and so did my friends, and long story short: Bob Schneider played a backyard show for a bunch of us here in Oakland at the end of July, and if you go over to my Instagram @midlifemixtape, you can see some of the pics from that day. It was magical, and I finally met Bob in person for the first time, and I’m so glad he agreed to come visit us on the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. Let me tell you a little about him. Bob is as mentioned based in Austin, Texas. He is a singer-songwriter and former front man of The Ugly Americans and The Scabs. He has become one of the most celebrated musicians in the live music capital. Drawing from a range of diverse musicals styles, Schneider’s talent has defied genres. Combining elements of funk, country, rock, and folk with the more traditional singer/songwriter aesthetic, Schneider draws inspiration from the ’70s but with a modern twist. He has won more than 59 Austin Music Awards including Best Album, Best Songwriter, Best Musician, and Best Male Vocals making him the most decorated artist in Austin music history. If you have ever been to Austin, you know what kind of a music city that is. So, that’s quite an accomplishment. But Schneider’s fan base reaches far beyond the city limits of Austin. He started gaining national recognition when he released 2001’s Lonelyland, his major-label debut for Universal Records, and since then he’s released more than a dozen albums, written over 1,000 songs, he is a published author, he is an avid painter and collage artist, and he’s not planning on slowing down anytime soon. Bob’s newest record is called In A Roomful Of Blood with A Sleeping Tiger. It came out in August 2021, and we’re going to hear some tracks from it today. I love it! So, let’s go with the flow with Bob Schneider. [MUSIC] Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Bob Schneider. I’m so happy to have you here today. Bob 06:22 You sound so professional. Nancy 06:24 Thank you. I think it’s the sound of the dog licking himself in the background that really sells it because he waits until he knows I’ve hit record and then he’s like, “You know what I need to do? Clean up house.” Bob 06:35 Wow. That’s a good visual that I’ve got now. Nancy 06:38 Yeah, well, that’s Arlo. Welcome to the show. It’s me and Arlo Kho. Bob, I’ve got a question for you. What was your first concert, and what were the circumstances? Bob 06:49 Well, the first concert that I paid to go see was Earth, Wind & Fire, and I think the year was 1981, if I’m correct, and they were touring, like they had all their hits. It was the most amazing concert I think I’ve ever seen in my entire life. Now, I was raised by a musician, my dad. Nancy 07:11 He’s an opera singer, right? Bob 07:12 He’s an opera singer, but he would also moonlight in a cover band, and he worked his way through college playing in cover bands, and I know I was at many of those shows before I was even born, and then when I was 0, 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5.  So I watched him play a lot of shows. But the first official one that I take responsibility for was Earth, Wind & Fire. Nancy 07:36 And where was it? Bob 07:37 It was in Germany. Nancy 07:39 Okay. Bob 07:40 It was in Bremen, Germany. Nancy 07:42 So, I did not realize you were raised in Germany. I saw that in a bio when I was doing my research this week. I also lived in Germany and Bob: I saw Earth, Wind & Fire play while I lived in Germany. Bob 07:52 What year was it? Nancy 07:53 It was not ’81. It would have been at ‘88 or ‘89, and what I remember about it, Bob, is that I went with my American friend Kristen, and we stood up and danced. And the Germans, I don’t know if this was your experience in Bremen – nobody was dancing, they are an orderly people, they sat still. And somebody fired a beer can at my head because I was obstructing their view. Bob 08:14 They are very orderly. But they also… Nancy 08:16 But how do you sit down at an Earth, Wind & Fire concert? That’s not normal human behavior. Bob 08:24 Well, if you’re German, you are very… it’s called Pünktlichkeit and Ordnung. I think it’s t

“Stop, Look, Go”: Kristi Nelson, author of “Wake Up Grateful,” on transforming her Stage IV cancer survival into a lifetime practice of more grateful living, midlife carpe diem, and an unusual way to embrace that middle-of-the-night restiveness. About Kristi Wake Up Grateful: The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted Nancy’s AAA Playlist on Apple Music Live from Budokan, it’s… Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 105 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on September 21, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Kristi Nelson 00:01 At this stage in life, so many of us have had wake-up calls. So many of the difficult experiences of life actually make it more possible to connect with feeling grateful. Nancy Davis Kho 00:14 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:38 I just want to make sure that you have all checked out the great new September content from fellow members of the G.A.L.S squad. That’s –  plug your ears little one – G.A.L.S, as in Grown Ass Ladies. Over on tuenight.com, there’s a great essay by my pal, Wendi Aarons, about the joys of going to a movie theater solo. I would actually just love to go to a movie theater. I haven’t done that in a year and a half. Going solo, that would be the icing on top. Jumbleandflow.com has a piece on finding your flow with tarot card readings. Damemagazine.com asks, “Do we have the space to grieve anymore?” That is a dang good question. That’s damemagazine.com. And heyperry.com, that’s H-E-Y-P-E-R-R-Y.C-O-M has the ever popular topic “Perimenopause periods: WTF is happening?” Make sure to check out all these sites designed for people in the years between being hip and breaking one. The G.A.L.S. always have great new stuff coming out. [MUSIC] Welcome to Episode 105 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! I’m Nancy Davis Kho, host and creatress of the show, and I’m really glad you’re tuning in today. September 21st happens to be World Gratitude Day, a topic I know a little bit about…but I thought that for a refreshing change of pace, instead of talking to you about Gratitude Letters and the book I wrote, The Thank-You Project, I’d bring in a guest who could share a different perspective on incorporating more gratefulness and grateful living into our lives. That seemed especially important in a week where two different friends have said to me, “You know what? Relatively speaking, I don’t have anything to feel down about.” And they are kind of kicking themselves for feeling low and I was like, “You are now the human embodiment of that cartoon dog in the fedora sitting with his coffee as the flames rise up around him.” NO ONE IS OK. EVERYBODY HAS SOMETHING TO FEEL DOWN ABOUT AFTER 18 MONTHS OF THIS PANDEMIC – and I recently read that 1 in 3 Americans has been affected by a weather disaster made worse by climate change. It’s ok, and it’s normal, to not be ok. Speaking of the climate change thing, have you checked out sciencemoms.com yet? Go back to Episode 102 for all the details on that. Anyway, goes for me, too. Ever since my mom’s memorial service in August, I have to say I have been feeling a lot more subdued and frankly, a little hopeless, moreso than at any other time during the past 18 months. So today’s guest, and her reminder of how these wake-up calls in our lives can enrich them if we look at them from the right perspective, seems especially timely. Kristi Nelson is the Executive Director of A Network for Grateful Living, and the author of Wake Up Grateful: The Transformative Practice of Taking Nothing for Granted. Imagine that?! Kristi’s life’s work in the non-profit sector has focused on leading, inspiring, and strengthening organizations committed to progressive social and spiritual change. Being a long-time stage IV cancer survivor moves her every day to support others in living and loving with great fullness of heart. In 2001 – after five years leading a regional Women’s Fund – Kristi founded a values-based fundraising consulting and coaching company, and in this capacity, she has worked with organizations like Buddhist Peace Fellowship, Institute for Jewish Spirituality, Wisdom 2.0, and The Center for Contemplative Mind in Society, among others. She has also been founding Director of Soul of Money Institute with Lynne Twist, Director of Development at Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health, and Director of Development and Community Relations for the Center for Mindfulness in Medicine, Health Care, and Society. So take a deep calming breath, and join me as I talk with gratefulness guru, Kristi Nelson. [MUSIC] Nancy 04:16 I want to welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Kristi Nelson. Thanks so much for being on the show today. Kristi 04:22 I’m thrilled to be here. Thanks so much for having me. Nancy 04:25 Well, it’s a special day today because the day this episode drops is World Gratitude Day. So I wanted to have somebody on who could provide a different lens into the topic of gratefulness and gratitude, and I’m excited to talk about your book, Wake Up Grateful. But first, Kristi, obviously, we have to ask you this question, which is what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? Kristi 04:47 This has caused me to do research and verification. Nancy 04:51 Oh. I love giving a guest homework. That’s fabulous. Kristi 04:54 Actually, it was so great. I believe … because you know now that I’m in my 60s, it’s actually long term memory issues. So I believe that it was Cheap Trick. Nancy 05:07 Really? Kristi 05:08 It was 1976 and I couldn’t find their tour dates to confirm, but it was somewhere I think either Springfield Massachusetts or somewhere in the close environs and this is just the funniest thing. Their song that I loved and used to sing at the top of my possible voice spectrum, I’d sing, “I want you to want me, I need you to need me. I’d love you to love me.” Nancy 05:32 Sure. Kristi 05:33 That’s like their big song. Nancy 05:35 And you were what? Nine years old, singing that? No, I’m kidding. Kristi 05:38 No. Yeah, that’s funny. I was 16, and it was probably one of those things that it was a celebration of my 16th birthday and passing to some kind of new level of trustworthiness that I could go off and I’m sure I wasn’t worthy of it at all. Nancy 05:53 In the 70s, the bar for trustworthiness in kids was awfully low compared to where it is now. We hear these stories over and over on this show of people doing stuff that they would never let their kids do now. Kristi 06:05 Yeah, so true. Nancy 06:06 So I love that concert for you. I’m trying to remember which Cheap Trick song it was… my friend and I were getting coffee at a coffee shop one day and it came on over the Muzak. She and I started singing both sides of it at each other, really aggressively, and the poor coffee girl who was a Millennial just looked at us in absolute horror. Appropriately so. Cheap Trick, you’ve got to sing along. It’s very much a sing along kind of a band. I wondered if there is a way that music plays into your efforts to live gratefully, playing a song that makes you feel grateful, or amplifying your mood or anything like that. Is there a way that music plays a role for you? Kristi 06:43 Hugely, I would say. And it’s interesting, because I always say that gratitude waits for something good to happen and gratefulness actually waits for us to just be awake. So for me, what that means when I’m awake is awake and tuned in to what I can create for experiences that bring about more grateful awareness, and so that helps shift my perspective. That’s what I’m a big believer in. So I use music a lot to enhance my perspective. When I come home, and I’m tired at the end of the day, or I’ve done a lot of things that have been exhausting at a particular level mentally or physically, if I put on music, Pharrell William’s, “Happy”… Nancy 07:26 Sure. The theme song. Kristi 07:27 It is absolutely irresistible, right? So there’s so many songs like that, that energize me and completely shift my mood and music has an unparalleled ability to do that in my life. Nancy 07:41 I agree so much. At some point during the pandemic, last year, I made a playlist on my phone called the AAA playlist, and it is only songs that make me get a little shiver when they come on, like I go, “Oh my god, I love this song too.” If it doesn’t elicit that response, I take it off the playlist. We were driving recently – My husband and I drove down to LA to drop our daughter off at school and it’s been a pandemic, it’s been 18 months of difficult things and we were coming back and I was like, “You know what? I need to listen that playlist right now, because I’m feeling…” I was missing my daughter already. There’re just any number of things that are hard and I knew if I just put this on, oh, it’s so good. I wish you could all listen to my AAA playlist. But I think the better thing is for everybody to make an AAA playlist that is personal to you, that gives you that little jolt. Because it works exactly like you’re saying. It just kind of puts you in a better space. And that’s something to be grateful for. Kristi 08:38 You got that. Thank you. I love that and I love that you’ve just assigned us more homework. Nancy 08:43 Yes, go make your playlist. Report back. Tell me what’s on it. I mentioned today is World Gratitude Day and anybody who’s listened to this podcast has heard me talk ad infinitum about gratitude letters, which is the tool that I used back in 2016 to kind o

“My brain is waking up”: Taya Dunn Johnson on going back to school alongside her 7th grader this fall, and the personal passion that pulled her to a field of study she had never even heard of before the day she enrolled. Find Taya on: Website – www.TayaDunnJohnson.com Essay on Upworthy: Please Read This Before Your Post Another RIP On Social Media Listen To Your Mother Anthology Ep 96 Listeners’ “Still in Rotation” Albums – hear Taya’s contribution at around the 25:20 mark Some Baltimore sound for ya ears. The title of the song is also 100% of the lyrics of the song

  “Dating is a skill”: Jodi Klein, author and podcast host of “First Date Stories”, on the benefits and challenges of being a “seasoned” dater, her Ninja midlife dating tips, and Midlife Mixtape listeners’ own memorable First Date Stories. Find Jodi on: Facebook https://www.facebook.com/1stdates/ Instagram https://www.instagram.com/1st_DateStories/ Pinterest https://www.pinterest.com/firstdatestories Website https://firstdatestories.com/ The only Goo Goo Dolls song I knew of theirs, back in 1990 when I asked this cute guy on a first date with the free tickets I’d won. Thanks for being so loud that the guy suggested we leave and go get a coffee and talk, Goos! I still respect this video hard for all the nods to our mutual hometowns in Western New York, FWIW ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 103 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on August 24, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com ***Jodi Klein 00:01 Think about who you were in your twenties, versus who you are in your forties or fifties. You are a different person, and you know so much better who you are, what’s important to you, and you show up without being as concerned about the unimportant things. Nancy Davis Kho 00:17 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:42 This episode of The Midlife Mixtape Podcast is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30 day free trial at www.AudibleTrial.com/midlifemixtape. Over 180,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android, Kindle or mp3 player. And you know what? One of those 180,000 titles is my book, THE THANK-YOU PROJECT: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. It’s about a year I spent writing thank you letters to people who had helped, shaped, or inspired me from my AP English teacher from high school who I hadn’t seen in 30 years to my husband who I had seen five minutes before I started writing the letter. It gives readers a blueprint for doing it themselves, and explains the science about why gratitude and happiness work so well together. I hope readers will find it to be a tool that helps them emerge from this difficult period a little bit more gracefully. So go to www.AudibleTrial.com/midlifemixtape for your free audiobook. [MUSIC] Hey everyone, and welcome back to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho, the creator and host of the show, and I’ve missed you over the past month while I was out on vacation. But don’t you feel like absence probably made our hearts grow fonder for one another? I think it did. That topic of mutual affection is actually a specialty for today’s guest. Do you see what I did there? Did I segue like a boss? Yes, I’ve still got it! My guest today is Jodie Klein, the author of First Date Stories: Women’s Romantic and Ridiculous Midlife Adventures, which comes out on September 14th 2021. A demanding career and desire to find the right “Mr. Yes” for her led to Jodi becoming an alumna of nearly 400 dates over the course of 26 years. She founded “First Date Stories” both the podcast and the blog, as a platform for GenX women to share their tales and wisdom so that others can overcome the trials of dating in midlife and find the long-term love they seek. Jodi is a graduate of UC Davis and holds an MBA from the Ross School of Business at the University of Michigan, and she lives with her husband in San Francisco. Yes, spoiler alert. She found her husband. She found “Mr. Yes.” Now, after I’d spoken with Jodi –  I was so intrigued by the book, I really enjoyed reading First Date Stories, I loved talking with her about it. And then I thought, you know who I bet has some good first date stories? The people who listen to this podcast. So I sent out a call on Facebook and said, “Real quick, everybody. Send me a great first date story.” And as usual, you delivered. So stay tuned all the way to the end of the episode because I’m going to share some of your stories about memorable, magical and some pretty bad first dates. But for now, fix your hair. Check your teeth for broccoli. We’re sitting down with Jodi Klein to discuss First Date Stories. [MUSIC] Nancy 03:30 Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, Jodi Klein. Thank you for coming today. Glad to have you on the show. Jodi Klein 03:36 It is terrific to be here. I’m such a fan. Nancy 03:39 Well, that’s nice of you to say. I have to tell you, I have been so intrigued by the book, First Date Stories, we’re going to talk a lot about it. But the first question for you, Jodi Klein is, what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? Jodi 03:52 My first concert is one that I will never forget. It was Styx — Paradise Theater tour at the Oakland Coliseum in Oakland, California. Nancy 04:03 Oh my God! Tell me all about it. Jodi 04:06 It was the last show on their world tour. I went with two girlfriends. We were dropped off. We waited in line for six hours and as the line grew, so did our anticipation. We rushed in to the Coliseum. We grabbed our seats, we got pretty good seats. But, we did not spend much time in those seats because the show was so amazing that we ended up heading down to the floor and the light show, the singing, the whole thing, it just blew my mind. Nancy 04:43 How old were you? Jodi 04:44 I had just finished my freshman year of high school. Nancy 04:48 See, I think 14 is the formative year. That’s the age everybody should get to see their first show because it really means something. Jodi 04:55 It did. I feel so fortunate to have had that as my first show. I really couldn’t have asked for a better debut concert experience. Nancy 05:04 I’m going to ask you a question about Gen X and music. You’re a dating specialist, so I will ask you this. Did we not perfect the mixtape as a dating artifact that in fact caused people to fall in love? Jodi 05:20 We did. Nancy 05:23 I mean, if you’re listening: raise your hand if you either formulated or received a mixtape that was designed to make love happen. Jodi 05:32 For sure. In fact, I seem to remember a movie or two where the mixtape was essential in the storyline to woo the woman, and I think many of us had those tapes given to us. Some of us, like me, may have it still in a box somewhere. Nancy 05:50 Totally. Actually – I don’t know why I just remembered this out of the blue. But when I was in high school, there was this boy that I liked, and he was going on a road trip because his grandma had passed away. He was going to his grandma’s funeral and I didn’t know him very well, but I thought he was a nice guy, and I made him a mixtape. And he came back and he immediately broke up with me. He was like, “There’s no future here because I like you too much. The mixtape was so good that it scared me, and I’m not ready for that kind of commitment,” which began a whole run of boys who would break up with me saying, “I love you too much to date you any longer.” That was Nancy from ages 15 to 19. But I couldn’t help it. I make a good mixtape. If it scares you, that’s on you, buddy. Jodi 06:34 Exactly. If they couldn’t take it, you needed to move on. Nancy 06:38 Have you had a mixtape figure into any of the first date stories? A first date mixtape, that’s a lot. That’s too much pressure. Jodi 06:46 It’s way too much pressure. Nancy 06:47 Yeah, I would be like, “Sir, you don’t know me well enough to create a mixtape for me. Back off.” Jodi 06:51 Yeah, I have not heard any of those stories. No. Nancy 06:55 Will you call if you do? Jodi 06:57 I certainly will. Nancy 07:00 Alright. Well, Jodi, we’re going to talk about your book, First Date Stories. But I want to start with a little background because there is also a podcast and a blog that are related, and it’s kind of a chicken and egg thing and I hope that you could explain to everybody who’s listening how these all interrelate and came to be. Jodi 07:16 To do that, I’d like to set the context. And that is that I created all of this – because there are millions of uncoupled women who are Gen Xers, whether they’ve never been married, or in a long term committed relationship or are divorced or widowed – these ladies do not get enough recognition or connection. They’re not celebrated enough. They’re not supported enough, not what they deserve, and I’m trying to fill some of that void. Nancy 07:49 First of all, women are overlooked, Gen Xers are overlooked, so Gen X women: it’s like the perfect, terrible storm. We started talking about that when Ada Calhoun was on the show with Why We Can’t Sleep about why Gen X women are trying to make changes. Because it’s so right in our faces that we’re not being served with the answers and the attention that we deserve. So I hear you. I totally hear what you’re saying. Jodi 08:15 It really goes back to when we were little girls. A lot of us have created movie trailers in our minds of what our lives were going to look like, from the time that we were little girls – and, of course, this is not representative of everybody. But I think a lot of us thought, okay, we will go to high school, we will go perhaps to college or get some other training, we will get a job, and then when we are in our 20s or at the latest, our early 30s, a partner is going to show up in our lives and we will be coupled and we will live ongoing as a couple person. That is a result of all the media, the books, the movies, the TV shows that we used to see in the 70s and 80s. Because let’s face it, no Disney Princess got divorced, no Disney Princess led a kingdom, no Disney Princess ran a company, right? I mean, seriously. The princesses let down their hair,

“Start the conversation”: Oceanographer Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson talks about the ScienceMoms.com initiative seeking to apply “Mom Power” in tackling climate change, how midlife made her a better scientist, and why she’s hopeful for the future. ScienceMoms.com website Dr. Benitez-Nelson’s research lab website Dr. Benitez-Nelson interviewed aboard the research vessel Sally Ride What other song could I choose, given my late mom’s affinity for all things John Denver?Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 102 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on July 20, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson 00:00 You have to believe and have faith in your children, the next generation, that they are going to help move the needle and solve these issues. And our job as parents is to make it happen. Nancy Davis Kho 00:18 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:43 Okay, I have another summer book recommendation for you! Check out The People We Keep, by Allie Larkin, which comes out from Simon and Schuster on August 3rd. Allie is the bestselling author of Swimming for Sunlight, and she’s back with a heartbreaking and soul-stirring coming-of-age tale about a young songwriter looking to find a home in the world. Little River, New York, 1994: April Sawicki is living in a run-down motorhome, flunking out of school, and picking up shifts at the local diner. But when April realizes she’s finally had enough, enough of her selfish, absent father and barely surviving in an unfeeling town, she decides to make a break for it. Stealing a car and with only her music to keep her company, April hits the road, determined to live life on her own terms. She manages to scrape together a meaningful existence on the road, encountering people and places that grab hold of her heart. From lifelong friendships to tragic heartbreaks, April chronicles her journey in the beautiful music she creates as she discovers that home is with the people you choose to keep. Fun fact: I know Allie because we are on the same house concert circuit, we’ve bonded over many a living room show, and I know how hard she worked on this book and how long and how much she believed in this story, and it’s just a thrill to see a talented friend like Allie Larkin get chosen by none other than actress Rachel Bilson to be featured as her August Book of the Month Club pick. So preorder The People We Keep by Allie Larkin at your favorite indie bookstore or online now! [MUSIC] Hey party people, hope you’re having a fabulous summer and working on your San Tropez tan. Who remembers that jingle? Bain de Soleil. Well, not really, I think you should be wearing sunscreen and a big hat, but I think that’s been well established between us in many episodes and probably again in today’s. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and I’m the creator and host of this podcast, as well as the author of The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. I hope you’ve had a chance to read my book and if you haven’t, well, there’s probably room in your beach bag. I’m so grateful that you’ve tuned in to today’s episode, and we’re going to get right to it! I love every guest who comes on this program, it’s true, but the ones I put into the “Shero/Hero” mix I might love most of all. These are people putting their midlife acumen to work in service of the wider world, and today’s guest is a shining example. Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson is an Associate Dean and Carolina Distinguished Professor in the College of Arts & Sciences at the University of South Carolina. Her research focuses on understanding the biogeochemical cycling of nutrients and carbon and how they are influenced by climate change. Her many research honors include the Early Career Award in Oceanography from the American Geophysical Union (AGU) and being named a Fellow of the American Association for the Advancement of Science (AAAS) and the Association for the Sciences of Limnology, which I didn’t know was a word, and Oceanography. Claudia is passionate about teaching and mentoring the next generation and is active in many efforts to increase diversity in science. She’s also a member of Science Moms, a nonpartisan group of climate scientists and mothers. They founded Science Moms – you can find it at sciencemoms.com – to help mothers who are concerned about their children’s planet, but aren’t confident in their knowledge about climate change or how they can help. Together, the Science Moms aim to demystify climate science and motivate urgent action to protect our children’s futures. Put on your life jacket and grab a Dramanine if you are prone to seasickness, like I am… we’re setting sail with oceanographer and Science Mom, Dr. Claudia Benitez-Nelson! [MUSIC] Welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. I am so pleased to have you here today. Dr. Benitez-Nelson 04:27 Thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here. Nancy 04:31 I’ve known about Science Moms for a couple of months and as soon as I saw that press release, I’m like, oh, yeah, we’re having one of the Science Moms onto the show. But nobody gets past the first question on this podcast, which is what was your first concert and what were the circumstances? Dr. Benitez-Nelson 04:47 Oh my gosh. Okay. Nancy 04:50 I feel like you’re about to blow my mind. Dr. Benitez-Nelson 04:53 Well, yes. The very first concert that I went to, and maybe I’m dating myself is the Grateful Dead, and I went with my parents. Nancy 05:03 Now, they were enlightened. Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:04 They were very enlightened and I grew up in Seattle, so you can perhaps understand I went to many concerts when I was growing up in the 80s and 90s. But no, it was the Grateful Dead. Nancy 05:18 So where was it in Seattle? Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:20 Well, I was young and so I remember it being this huge space. I think it was the King Dome, which doesn’t exist in the same form now. There were all these people, and they were having such a wonderful time, and everyone was happy. That’s what I really remember most about it. Nancy 05:38 Now, I noticed in your official bio, you mentioned that you have two kids who are 20 and 16. Is that right? Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:44 Yeah. Nancy 05:45 You mentioned in your bio that your kids have a musical talent. Dr. Benitez-Nelson 05:48 They’re actually musicians in that they play classical instruments, which I have no talent for whatsoever. I can’t hold a tune. I mean, they are my kids but other than that… Nancy 06:02 I think that’s one of the coolest things about watching your kids grow up and find the thing that they love that you have no idea about. Because that’s how we are with ballet – both our daughters became ballerinas, and we learned so much about ballet. We had no idea about that before we had kids, and I would never have thought that that would be something I knew about. But here we are. Dr. Benitez-Nelson 06:21 Well, exactly. Right. My son plays the oboe and I had to look up what an oboe really was. I was like, “What really is that instrument?” My daughter plays the flute, which, I DID know what a flute was. Nancy 06:37 You’re familiar. Alright, so I’m going to call you Dr. Benitez-Nelson because I know you’ve said I can call you Claudia, but I want to put the respect on your name that you have earned. Because it’s been a long path to get where you are. So I want to talk about what compelled you and eight of your fellow mom scientists to start ScienceMoms.com. It started in 2021, right? Dr. Benitez-Nelson 06:59 Actually, it started a couple of years earlier. I’m actually the newest member to the group. This was a group that was started a couple of years ago by Potential Energy, and it was a $10 million ad campaign. Essentially, what they have done is they’ve brought together a bunch of scientists who are mothers to really talk about climate, how our climate is changing. And really the group that we are targeting is other moms. I thought this was fantastic, right? I’m new to the group, I had met these other amazing scientists, and when they were telling me what they were doing, I was like, “I got to get in on this.” So it makes sense, in some ways – research has shown that moms are the group that is both the most concerned about climate change, and the most likely to do something about it. In retrospect, that makes sense. But I didn’t really know that when we started. I just know that I’m really passionate about the future for my kids and the work that I do, being all about climate and how our climate is changing, really has put this in the forefront of the things that I think about. So yeah, that’s how I kind of got involved and it’s been a fantastic experience. Nancy 08:28 Can you talk a little bit about the goals and the components of the project? Dr. Benitez-Nelson 08:34 Yeah, so for us, the real major goal is to give moms the tools and the information that they need to break down this climate change idea in simple and engaging ways. There’s a lot of information out there, a lot of misinformation out there and for me, the science is straight. This isn’t political. It’s all about what the science says.  And so any way that me, as a mom in particular, can break this down so that other moms who are just as busy and crazy as I am understand what they can do about it, I’m all in. So that’s really what it is. It’s about engaging moms, showing them that they can do something, and really making it really clear

“It’s about time”: Menopause entrepreneurs Sally Mueller and Michelle Jacobs talk about why it’s taken so long to address the needs of women in perimenopause and menopause, and how GenX can lead the way in demystifying the big M. * Womaness web site * Womaness on Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and LinkedIn * NYTimes Opinion piece by Dr. Jen Gunter on how to have a feminist menopause  I still wear a jean jacket! I still drink out of a Mason jar! Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 101 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on July 6, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Sally 00:00 We really had to kind of rely on our own instincts and our own confidence. Nancy Davis Kho 00:05 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:30 I want to take a moment before today’s episode to tell you about a summer read I know you are going to want to throw into your beach bag: MONA AT SEA, by author Elizabeth Gonzalez James. Mona at Sea is a dark comedy set during the Great Recession, and features Mona Mireles, a young Latina who loses her plum job on Wall Street and must figure out what she’s going to do with the rest of her life. Despite her potential, and her top-of-her-class college degree, Mona finds herself unemployed, living with her parents, and adrift in life and love. On her tragicomic journey through late-stage capitalism, Mona is ultimately able to learn what it is she finds meaningful in life. The question is: will she be brave enough to go after it? Cristina García, author of Here in Berlin and Dreaming in Cuban, says “Mona at Sea is a hilarious, high-octane novel about coming into one’s own without coming undone. Elizabeth Gonzalez James is a fresh new voice in contemporary literature.” Mona at Sea has been named the Most Anticipated book of 2021 by Apple Books, Harper’s Bazaar, Buzzfeed Books, Popsugar and more! Find Mona at Sea at your local indie bookstore or online! [MUSIC] Nancy 01:39 Hi, everyone. Have you recovered from your big holiday weekend yet? Hope it was sparkly and patriotic and virus free. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and I’m the creator and host of this podcast, as well as the author of The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. Right now, I’m thankful that our new rescue dog Arlo is settling in just fine with the exception of needing to be near his new humans ALL THE TIME. Our return from the bathroom or the mailbox is met with the same enthusiasm you might expect from a family greeting a soldier who’s served two years overseas, so we’re just hoping he realizes at some point that we’re a), not that interesting and b),

“In the blink of an eye”: In this Very Special Episode that is also All In The Family, Midlife Mixtape Podcast creator and host Nancy Davis Kho answers listeners’ questions about podcasting, music, and midlife. * Nancy’s website www.DavisKho.com * We Sow We Grow – get your Dirty By Nature tshirt here, and listen to Ep 64 with We Sow We Grow founder/Urban farmer Natasha Nicholes here * Ep 90 – Reconciliation Activist J. Christopher Collins, on “moving the ball down the field” * Ep 91 – “Share Your Stuff” author Laura Tremaine, with tips for incorporating more reading into your life Book recommendations: * Caste by Isabel Wilkerson * The Other Bennet Sister by Janice Hadlow * Crying in H Mart by Michelle Zauner M. The Heir Apparent aka Kyle Terrizzi – the songwriter whose “Be Free” is our theme song. Please stream/support this wonderful musician! Lucy’s summer song recommendation – Jelani Aryeh P.S. Here’s lil’ Arlo – don’t worry, I took this bed back to the store and got him one that fits ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 100 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on June 22, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Nancy Davis Kho 00:00 I just want everybody to know that if there’s a time in your life where you’re feeling like things haven’t gone the way you thought they would, that you failed in some way that you’ve fallen short, just give it a little time. Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:37 Welcome to the 100 HUNDREDTH EPISODE of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! I’m the host and creator of the show, Nancy Davis Kho, and I’m also the author of The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. I’m so glad you’re here with me today to celebrate! Besides breaking through the triple digits with this episode, there are a couple of other significant milestones I’ve hit in May and June of 2021: 10 years of blogging at midlifemixtape.com. That’s right, back in 2011 I started posting short essays on the blog twice a week. Holy lord! That was a different time. I can’t imagine the stress of having to write two essays every week in 2021. You can still see all that writing if you dive down into the archive at MidlifeMixtape.com, but make sure you bring a flashlight and something to brush the cobwebs aside with. This spring also marked 4 years of podcasting – the first episode of this show aired in May 2017. Also as of May 2021,

“Tired of being a deputy”: Michelle Fishburne of Who We Are Now talks about turning a one-two-three punch of pandemic life changes into a 12,000 mile road trip, a book deal, and a newfound calling as an oral historian. Find Michelle on the web: * Website:Who We Are Now * Instagram: @WhoWeAreNowUSA * Instagram behind the scenes: @MichelleFishburne * Facebook: @WhoWeAreNowUSA * LinkedIn She’s on a journey, but not in a Bachelor way. Here’s to the band that plays the HELL out of air keyboards. Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 99 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on June 8, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Michelle Fishburne 00:01 Failure is something that I actually really embrace and look forward to because it means I get to innovate. It means that all those little gray cells in my head get to start spinning and creating something new. Nancy Davis Kho 00:14 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:38 I want to take a moment before today’s episode to tell you about a brand-new book I just read that’s one of the latest entries in the long-running 33 1/3 book series, from Bloomsbury. If you aren’t familiar with 33 1/3… Each volume in the series is written by a different writer and focuses on one album. I just ripped through one of the latest entries – on Duran Duran’s 1982 album Rio – I know all the Duran Duran ladies are screaming right now. The book was written by Annie Zaleski, the award-winning music writer whose work has appeared in Rolling Stone, NPR Music, StereoGum, Time, and more. Now, of course I owned Rio, Duran Duran’s big breakthrough album, back in 1982, and I know some Midlife Mixtape listeners are big Duran Duran stans from way back. But I can’t say that I had listened to Rio all the way through during this century. After reading Annie’s nuanced and comprehensive take on the album, I’ve been listening to it nonstop. The book details how Rio wasn’t a success everywhere at first; in fact, the LP had to be remixed and reissued before it found an audience in America. However, thanks to a combination of colorful music videos, which established Duran Duran as leaders of an MTV-driven second British Invasion, as well as incredibly hard work and good timing, Rio established Duran Duran as one of the most innovative and beloved pop-rock bands of the ’80s. And the 33 1/3 book on Rio really opened my eyes to how seminal that album was – for the band and for the never-ending evolution of pop music. It’s available now via Bloomsbury, and you can also order wherever else you like to order books! Go to your local bookseller and ask them to get you 33 1/3 latest on Rio. [MUSIC] Nancy Davis Kho 02:20

“Time to regroup”: Lisette Smith, certified financial planner, on thinking of our work lives in chapters, the best ways to plan for a Midlife Gap Year, and why early retirement may not be as desirable as the occasional long pause. * Download the Midlife Gap Year guide here * Advisory Group SF * Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast – Nancy riffing on The Early Days of MTV Why worry? Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 98 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on May 25, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Lisette Smith 00:00 When we see these people in their 70s that are still looking for things to do because they’ve retired, maybe we plan in a different way. Nancy Davis Kho 00:09 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] 00:34 This episode of The Midlife Mixtape Podcast is brought to you by a new podcast called Toddler Purgatory. My friends Margaret Ables and Amy Wilson (hosts of the top-rated parenting podcast What Fresh Hell: Laughing in the Face of Motherhood) are launching their first ever spin-off podcast. It’s called Toddler Purgatory and it is all the laughs and advice you’ve come to expect from What Fresh Hell, but all focused on topics for parents of kids under six. Hosts Blaire Brooks and Molly Lloyd have kids aged 2 to 4 at home so they’ll be solving dilemmas like “How to get kids to sleep through the night” “How to handle your picky eaters” and so much more. Now, some Midlife Mixtape Listeners don’t have little ones in our houses anymore, but that’s only because grandparenting approaches and you’re going to need to refresh on this stuff. Or maybe you know younger parents and you could point them to Toddler Purgatory instead of muttering, “you think you have problems NOW….” Help a new podcast out: search “Toddler Purgatory” wherever you listen to podcasts, and hit subscribe or follow. That’s Toddler Purgatory – for all things little kids. [MUSIC] Hi everyone – happy Tuesday and I hope you’re hanging in there! I’m Nancy Davis Kho, creator and host of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast and author of The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. Were you raised on a steady diet of Stouffers French Bread pizza and MTV? So were we all. Actually that reminds me – you may know me as a podcast host but I also sit in the guest seat fairly often, usually talking about gratitude letters and my book. If you ever want to check out any of those appearances, head over to daviskho.com, click on the Speaking tab, and they’re all listed there. HOWEVER this week I was honored to be a guest on the Pop Culture Preservation Society Podcast – dedicated to preserving and elevating the unsung pop culture nuggets of the classic Gen X childhood. And what did Kristen, Carolyn, and Michelle want me to riff on? The early days of MTV. You may not know that I not only was there as a 15-year-...

“That’s my call”: San Francisco Ballet’s Christopher Dennis on the obvious career path that nonetheless had to be pointed out to him, the patience and grace that comes with experience, and the ballet’s pandemic pirouette to digital delivery. Stream the San Francisco Ballet’s 2021 season here Ok, George Lopez, being a trendsetter! Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 97 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on May 11, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Christopher Dennis 00:01 You know what? Everybody needs to understand and have a little grace. So I try to exercise that in my work today. There are challenging moments, obviously… Nancy Davis Kho 00:12 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] 00:34 This episode of The Midlife Mixtape Podcast is brought to you by Audible. Get a free audiobook download and 30 day free trial at www.AudibleTrial.com/midlifemixtape. Over 180,000 titles to choose from for your iPhone, Android Kindle or mp3 player. And hey, one of those 180,000 titles is my book, The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. It’s about a year I spent writing thank you letters to the people who had helped, shaped, or inspired me up to that point in my life. It gives the reader a blueprint for doing it themselves, and the science behind why gratitude and happiness are so tightly coupled… I hope it will be a tool to help readers emerge more gracefully from the pandemic! So go to www.AudibleTrial.com/midlifemixtape for your free audiobook. [MUSIC] Hi there people of the dual cassette boom box! I’m Nancy Davis Kho, creator and host of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast and author of The Thank-You Project. If you used to wash down your Bubble Yum with a Tab, maybe flip through your Wacky Packs to see if you got the Free Toes card, this is the podcast for YOU. I hope all of you who are moms had a wonderful Mother’s Day, and if it was a hard day for you for any reason, I’m sending you a big squeeze too. This is the first year I don’t have anyone to send a Mother’s Day card to and I knew it would be weird, and it was. Holidays, man. They’re complicated. But I had today’s episode to look forward to and I’m so excited for you to hear it. Before I get to it I’m going make a request – if you happen to listen to this show via Apple podcasts, on your iPhone – would you consider writing a review? I haven’t had any new reviews up there in AGES so if you haven’t written one yet, I’m hoping you’ll consider it – makes it so much easier for potential listeners to join the party here. Throughout the pandemic I’ve been fascinated by the ways in which this horrible awful no-good very bad time has supercharged innovation and sped up solutions to longstanding problems– whether in getting a vaccine into arms in record time, or moving homeless people into hotels, or making online learning more effective. And nowhere has that been more apparent than in the way performing arts organization...

“It means different things all the time, but it always works”: Listeners share stories of the music of their lives, from Prince to Joni Mitchell to The Beastie Boys and everyone in between. Find the full archive of 30+ Still in Rotation guest posts here! This 2021 re-recording of “Biko” by my still-in-rotation performer Peter Gabriel is just jaw-dropping to me. Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 96 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on April 27, 2021. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Taya Dunn Johnson 00:00 All of his songs move me in different ways, and whenever I need to creative push, I know that this collection will give me what I need. Nancy Davis Kho 00:09 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:33 Hi Listeners! Before we get into today’s episode, I wanted to give a hearty congratulations to the team at TueNight.com, a community for GenX women – you’ve probably heard me talk about them before because I love the writing, interviews and resources on their site and in their FB community. Their founder and editor-in-chief Margit Detweiler was my guest for Episode 82 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! Well, TueNight is now growing into the next step and, aside from a fabulous refresh of the TueNight.com website, they’re creating their own TueNight community platform for events, live and on-demand courses, topic-based groups and live chats. It’s been a long time coming and a lot of work on their part so I hope you’ll check out the TueNight.com – TUENIGHT.COM. She looks like she just came back from the spa or had VERY subtle work done. And while we’re on the topic,  let me shout out a couple more websites podcasts that aim at the ladies of a certain age: The Woolfer, Jumble & Flow, Dame Magazine, Girls of Certain Age – of course their creator Kim France was a guest on Ep 70 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast, she was the founding editor of Lucky Magazine – and a new one to me, Black Girl’s Guide to Surviving Menopause,  a multimedia project seeking to curate and share the stories and realities of Black women and femmes over 50. That’s https://blackgirlsguidetosurvivingmenopause.com/ Lots of new stuff for your midlife listening, check it out! [MUSIC] Hi there and welcome to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! I’m Nancy Davis Kho, creator and host of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast and author of The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time. Did you have a favorite member of New Edition, Menudo, or New Kids on the Block? Take your calcium supplement and relax, you’re among friends here.

“I grieve and thank Time for all of these reasons”: In this special year-end episode, a compendium of listeners’ stories of the losses they’re grieving and something they’re grateful for in 2020, and a tribute to the most wonderful mom in the world. * Midlife Mixtape End of Year Virtual Dance Party with DJ Damon – Dec 22 at 6 pm PT * Wendi Aarons’ humor writing on McSweeneys * Wendi Aarons’ humor writing on the New Yorker Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 89 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on December 22, 2020. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Nancy Davis Kho 00:00 I have more memories of this year than most. I understand how life can change in an instant and I will always be thankful for 2020, for it has truly made me stop and smell the roses. 00:12 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:37 If you’re hearing this episode on the day it publishes – that is, Tuesday, December 22, 2020 – I’d like to invite you to a celebration of the final Midlife Mixtape Podcast episode of the longest year in the history of print calendars. I’ve asked my friend DJ Damon, who in normal times spins ‘80s alternative dance music at the Cat Club in San Francisco, to host Midlife Mixtape listeners on his Twitch channel tonight for two hours, starting at 6 pm Pacific, 7 Mountain, 8 Central, and  9 pm Eastern. All you have to do at the appointed time is go to https://www.twitch.tv/dj_damon – that’s https://www.twitch.tv/dj_damon – don’t worry, I’ll leave a link in the show notes – and you’ll be at the party along with Prince, Bronski Beat, Depeche Mode and more. Obviously NOT like an in-person dance party but you can still turn your computer speakers all the way up to 11 and dance around your living room. There’s a chat function on Twitch and I’ll be hanging out there so I hope you’ll drop in and say hello. As you’re going to hear at the end of the episode, I’m haven’t been able to put together my normal OCD playlist for this one, so I’m relying on you guys to add your requests to the chat tonight and Damon will get them spinning. No matter how you’re feeling today -sad, angry, disappointed, grateful, optimistic, lucky – dancing is always the right answer. I mean, we’ve all seen the solo Kevin Bacon anger dance scene in Footloose, right? Dance out those feelings. I hope you’ll join in for a single song or for a couple of hours tonight, Dec 22 at 6 pm PT at https://www.twitch.tv/dj_damon. I’ll buy the first round! [MUSIC] Nancy Welcome to the final episode of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast of 2020. I’m the host and creator of the show, Nancy Davis Kho, and I’m so glad you’re joining us. I hope if this show has brought you laughter, good memories,

“Find an upbeat ending”: NYT bestselling author Bruce Feiler on the power of storytelling when we go through difficult times, the universal patterns of “lifequakes”, and how we can better manage change at any age. * BruceFeiler.com * Life is in the Transitions: Mastering Change at Any Age * The Life Story Project * Bruce’s Ted Talks In honor of Bruce’s first concert, my mom’s birthday this week, and presenting Midlife Mixtape Podcast sponsor Amateur Music Network, I bring you my favorite JD song to belt out. Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 88 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on December 8, 2020. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Bruce Feiler 00:01 The proper response to a setback is a story. So, you’re going to move on, and the only question is: what story are you going to tell about it? 00:10 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy Davis Kho 00:35 Hi listeners – Just as quick reminder as you’re doing your holiday shopping this year that indie bookstores, indie music venues, and creatives of all stripes need your support in order to be around to greet us when we emerge from this pandemic. I’m inviting you to be creative in your giving this year – buy a ticket for an artist’s live stream concert, tip generously when a DJ you like does a live set on Twitch, buy some merch from a club or a singer you love. Your local bookstore probably has gifts from $3 bookmarks on up to fat coffee table books, and they’re keeping employment and tax dollars right in your neighborhood. I hope you’ll remember to shop local, shop small, and keep live music alive in your life this December! [MUSIC] Hey there Pop Rocks, and if you need that reference go back and listen to Episode 87 with Joanna Bloor. Nancy here and I hope you’re hanging in, keeping your masks tight, your distances social, and your sanity intact. That light at the end of the tunnel is getting brighter every day, and we are going to get there. I am really excited about today’s conversation because it’s one that I think couldn’t come at a better time for all of us. My guest today is Bruce Feiler. Bruce Feiler is the author of seven New York Times bestsellers; the presenter of two prime-time series on PBS; and the inspiration for the drama series COUNCIL OF DADS on NBC. Bruce’s two TED Talks have been viewed more than two million times. His new book, LIFE IS IN THE TRANSITIONS: Ma...

“Figure out your ball”: In her work as “aspiring Fairy Godmother”, tech startup veteran Joanna Bloor talks about uncovering your unique magic, why “adventure timelines” are better than resumes, and channeling her inner Bette Midler. * Joanna’s website Joanna Bloor * Joanna working with Fatima to create magic – video * Joanna’s live show every Friday talking about the Future of the Human Workplace and how you can rock your place in it. Tickets Here * FIGURE 8 VOYAGE – 4 Oceans, 2 Circumnavigations, 1 Guy, 1 Year – Alone. * Sign up for Joanna’s newsletter here. No sequins but this is a damn ‘80s delight Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 87 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 24, 2020. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Joanna Bloor 00:00 “Who do you want to be when you grow up?” is a question that never ends.  The fact that we stop asking people at like, what, 10? I think it’s crazy. I think we should ask people all the time. 00:12 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy Davis Kho 00:36 Hi listeners – I just want to take a moment at the top of this Thanksgiving Week episode to express my thanks to all of you for listening to the Midlife Mixtape Podcast! It’s gratifying to know that my loyal listeners are as interested in the insights from a grab bag of interesting people “in the years between being hip and breaking one” as I am – and I look forward to bringing that #relatablecontent to your ears in the months to come. Wishing you and your loved ones a safe and happy Thanksgiving in whatever form that takes in 2020 – go back and listen to Ep 86 with Epidemiologist Dr. George Rutherford if you need a reminder of just how to do that – and thank you for tuning in to the show! [MUSIC] Hello, Gum Drops. I start most of my episodes with some variation on “Hi Guys,” but I recently saw an Instagram post encouraging us to drop that word in favor of less gendered, more inclusive nouns, and Gum Drops was one of them, which tells me that literally anything goes. So, in the future, prepare yourself to be addressed as Pet Rocks, Pop Rocks, and Bands that Have Been Overlooked by the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Before I introduce today’s guest, I want to invite you to listen all the way to the end because it’s almost time for another Listener Contributed Episode – this one will be the final episode of the year. I want to collect YOUR stories and I’ll tell you the topic towards the end of the show. When I first connected with today’s guest I was immediately struck by her optimism and positivity. We were talking about recording an episode for October, but it occurred to me: she could be my post-election insurance policy. If things hadn’t broken the way we hoped, I realized she might be the one person who could walk us back from the abyss with her focus on future and potential. What a THRILL to realize,

“The responsible thing to do”: In this special episode, UCSF public health specialist Dr. George Rutherford MD answers Midlife Mixtape listeners’ questions about COVID, vaccine development, and how to stay safe in the months ahead. Fresh Garbage but ain’t no spinach Thanks as always to M. The Heir Apparent, who provides the music behind the podcast – check him out here! ***This is a rough transcription of Episode 86 of the Midlife Mixtape Podcast. It originally aired on November 10, 2020. Transcripts are created using a combination of speech recognition software and human transcribers, and there may be errors in this transcription, but we hope that it provides helpful insight into the conversation. If you have any questions or need clarification, please email dj@midlifemixtape.com *** Dr. George Rutherford, MD 00:00 It’s unfortunate, but this is a moment in time. This time next year this problem will hopefully be solved. 00:08 Welcome to Midlife Mixtape, The Podcast. I’m Nancy Davis Kho and we’re here to talk about the years between being hip and breaking one. [THEME MUSIC – “Be Free” by M. The Heir Apparent] Nancy 00:33 This year’s Thanksgiving celebrations may be the strangest on record – between the hardships of 2020 and the fear of COVID spread, it’s unlikely we’re celebrating the holiday as usual. But that doesn’t mean there aren’t reasons to be grateful, or ways to find more thankfulness in our lives. And to make it easier, I’m giving away ten signed copies of my book, The Thank-You Project: Cultivating Happiness One Letter of Gratitude at a Time, on Goodreads. Just head over to Goodsreads.com and search for the book or for my name, and you’ll find the page that lets you enter to win. Of course, you can also find the book in bookstores, online, and for audio download – all the details at www.DavisKho.com. And hey, the holidays are coming…how about writing a thank-you letter to someone and tucking it inside my very pretty little blue book? It’s a double whammy – science shows that both you and the letter recipient will feel better! Then you can just sit back and tuck YOURSELF into some eggnog and sugar cookies? It’s a thought. Hey people, we’re back! I’m Nancy Davis Kho and I want to thank you for tuning in. How’s your stress level? I’m recording this episode on the fourth day of November 3,  three days AFTER the election, so while I’m optimistic about the outcome of the presidential race and hoping not to be dropping an episode during a civil war, I have to assume it could happen? In which case, may your toilet paper supplies be robust, your reflexes sharp, and your battle hymns ready. That’s gallows humor, I don’t know what we’re supposed to be thinking or doing right now. I look forward to the day that I can go 24 hours in a row without thinking about the president. Today’s episode is a bit different than normal, but given the circumstances, I figured you wouldn’t mind. The deal is that I know an epidemiologist, and in 2020, that’s quite a useful connection to have. So, I asked if he would come on the show and talk not about midlife, but about COVID: where we are, where we’re going, what we need to know right now. (Of course, I asked him about his first concert, I’m not a barbarian.) You all sent in some questions, I had some of my own, and the result is today’s interview, with Dr. George W. Rutherford, M.D. Dr. Rutherford is the Salvatore Pablo Lucia Professor of Epidemiology, Preventive Medicine, Pediatrics and History and Head of the Division of Infectious Disease and Global Epidemiology in th...