I Wish I Hadn't...

What we did in our spare time: collecting stamps, cards and a "very interesting" badge, pressing flowers (!), plus a load of all manure (no, not this podcast). And why we didn't go trainspotting or join the Scouts.

First a surprise party, recording our lives on film - photobooth comedy and bad camera work, The need to crop out undesirables.

We discuss birthdays with friends and swap tales of the best and worst ages to be, jelly and cake, inflatable bananas and a shocking birthday present.

This episode begins with some "Old Guy Moaning Stuff" about much formulaic modern music, auto-tuning of vocals and whether musicians keep performing live for too long. But then we cheer up discussing favourite instruments and vocalists, the inspiration behind break-up songs and the records we've played the most times throughout our lives.

Music then and now, good and bad decades then and now and who we wished we'd seen (and wished we hadn't!)Were The Incredible String Band really incredible? Did Amazing Blondel live up to their name? And were Dire Straits dire?Plus the time Jon and Dave joined a band live onstage - and how Jon paid the cost!

In a slight detour from our usual format we discuss our Music tastes and distastes.Our hosts reminisce about growing up in a musical wasteland, about Dansettes and radiograms, package tours and sampler albums, and about everything from Irish rebel songs to Gary Glitter.Learn how Jon lost his pocket money betting against the popularity of Herman's Hermits and why Dave hid his first purchased album from his Father.

Memories of ray gun torches, Subbuteo, train sets and 'clicky-ba'... Happy days(or was that just the effects of the accidental glue-sniffing?)

How well do we know each other? Was Dave saved by a burly Greek sailor? Would Jon spike somebody's coffee with laxative? And can Dave do camp and Scottish?

... or odd shoes and eggs? We recall some pranks that backfired, plus vegetables (and old ladies) who smell.

College life continues with stories of troubles with gas, women in wardrobes, smelly dead sea creatures, and how to sex an earwig.

It's been a while since we got together for a chat but now we're back!We ended up with so much material that we've had to make this a two part Podcast.Hangovers, topless go-go dancers, S & M - how the world unfolds for our heroes as they leave home for the first time and go to college. Tales of little money, not much food, lots of alcohol... and even a bit of education.

Jon is ungracious at being gifted scratchy trousers, and why Dave never received a didgeridoo and was embarrassed by the size of his Stilton.

Our heroes - essentially (of course) good boys - recall school discipline and how they evaded it, even when destroying canteen cutlery. Plus the torments of Puberty - no sex education, communal showers, and the walk of shame after rejection at the school dance.

Little boys go to Big School: terror of the metalwork lathe, crafting a phallic object in woodwork, a shameful case of bullying, and why did Dave have so many embarrassing nicknames?

Dickensian days in Education - the horrors of lunchtime mince and semolina, outside toilets and smelly blazers and why Jon was told to mime at a school concert!

Old habits die hard: discussion of the tyranny of time, what to do when seeing a magpie or an ambulance, plus memories of heading hard-boiled eggs and looking at late-night saveloys.

Two lawless rebels recount their misdeeds. Is that knock at the door the Genie, or is it the Special Branch?Spoiler alert: no laws have been broken in the making of this episode.

The sad demise of Henrietta Hamster, Desmond Hamster, Pixie Rabbit and others... We reveal where pets go when they die. (It's a small town in Dorset.) Plus a seagull attack, a kiss from a cow and a lesson on how to kill a chicken.

Blush-inducing moments from our past involving nudity, relationship misfires, toilet troubles and performance disasters. Oh, the shame!

Tales of sea sickness, ear pain,bed bugs, a cleavage - or - armpit dilemma and how Dave lost his nuts!