Claim OwnershipConnected Divergents
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© Comfort and Kindness Coaching
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Learn how to work with your executive dysfunction instead of always feeling like you're trying to fight against it. I'm a Radical ADHD & AuDHD Acceptance Coach, and I teach a harm-reduction approach to ADHD & executive functioning so you can step into your neurodivergence and feel at home in your ADHD brain.
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In this week's episode I talk about why traveling has been hard for me with my AuDHD, some past experiences I've had on trips (needing sometimes a full month to recover!), and how I approached my trip this past weekend as an experiment to explore a few questions: 1. Do I have an easier time coming home if I am not the one who has to drive?2. Do I have an easier time coming home if the primary objective of the trip is to rest and relax?3. Do I have an easier time coming home if I have maintained a threshold connection to my routines at home?
Rooting into care, building safety, creating positive emotional experiences, leaning into transition time, and getting curious about the wisdom of our resistance. All so we can pull away from the cycles of avoidance, to adrenaline-and-deadline-fueled push, to crash and burnout, only for that cycle to repeat. Avoidance is asking to be met with support and care, and not to push ourselves harder until we feel like breaking.
So excited to share this episode this week!! Today we're talking about how to use the scientific method as a framework to better understand your ADHD brain and your needs! This is how we can conduct experiments, try new things, and implement changes to gather lived-experience data on what *actually* works for us, what *actually* helps us. And the best part—with experimenting, there's no failure. Only data! Every experiment is an opportunity to learn more about how your brain works, and we get to integrate and re-iterate on experiments by using that information. This means that even if an experiment doesn't go the way we planned, it's still a win!
It's New Year's Day and I AM TIRED, FAM. I really wanted to share this idea & framework I'm so excited about on experimental frameworks & using the scientific method to better understand your brain & your needs, but I hit a wall in the middle of this episode, which was already a capacity-aligned pivot from that—and I realized I need to end this recording early to go take care of myself. This episode is my own documentation of the win of making a visit, giving myself the chance to see how I felt recording, and realizing from that lived-experience data that my answer is a genuine & authentic 'no' for today. I'll catch up with you more in the next few weeks!
Sharing in this episode about how I'm coming back to center after a season of travel & routine disruptions, and how I'm noticing ADHD medication is changing my creative process—a lot of grief here for me at the change, but I'm trying some new experiments to see if there are other systems and supports I need to help me with my creativity on meds!
This episode is about the experience of Demand Avoidance + how it connects not only to our experience of autonomy-loss, but ALSO our experience of uncertainty—not just that we don't want to do the thing, but that we actually don't yet know how.In this episode, I share about the differences between demand avoidance and procrastination, and how the understanding of autonomy needs strengthens our resources for support. I'm then breaking down how overwhelm, uncertainty, and lack of clarity can influence the experience of demand avoidance, and how understanding this can bring create even more options for support!
Quick Vyvanse ADHD med update from me on this episode, and then jumping into the main topic for today: Nervous System Regulation vs Nervous System Capacity Building, where capacity building can be more effective than regulation, and how I've applied this concept to paying off my post-Hurricane Helene credit card debt.
**THIS EPISODE IS NOT MEDICAL ADVICE!!** I'm only sharing my personal experiences and reflections! Talk to your doctor!In this episode I share about what I noticed on 20, 30, and 40mg of Vyvanse, and what I'm looking for to know when I've found the 'right' dose of Vyvanse for me (hopefully!)
I needed to step away from the ADHD Writer’s Summit. In this episode I share about what led me to this decision: the wall I hit around capacity, unstable meds, reflection in therapy. I'm unpacking the guilt of saying no, and how I’m learning to see these moments as reparenting and care instead of spiraling into shame. If you’ve ever wondered whether your ‘self-sabotage’ is really just your neurodivergent support needs showing up, this one’s for you. <3
1**DISCLAIMER** This is not medical advice! Please talk to a doctor before making any important medical decisions that would affect your health!! Repeat: This is not medical advice! Sharing my own personal experiences on Vyvanse so far, comparing to my experience with Adderall XR (the only other ADHD med I've tried), and how I am evaluating my executive functioning & symptoms as the week has gone on.
DISCLAIMER: This episode is not medical advice!! I'm only sharing my personal thoughts and experiences.Link to work with me 1:1 in coaching!
Writer's Summit October 10-12This episode is a case study on a 'big scary project' where I've been feeling a lot of overwhelm, fear, demands, and perfectionism. In it, I'm sharing with you how I process through the emotions that come with big projects like this one (shame, overwhelm, avoidance, shutdowns, meltdowns). This is an exploration on what supporting myself through it looks like, how I sniff out autonomy where I can find it, and how I'm doing things differently vs when I was younger and used adrenaline, cortisol, and fear of humiliation to get things done. (That's growth!)
WE ARE BACK IN THE HOUSE!!! This feels like a whole new chapter of the Connected Divergents pod, and certainly of my life!Excited to chat with you about what it's been feeling like being back, and a discovery I made about how I experience 'routines' with my autism: not linked to time or sequences, but physical space & visual cues! Hope you enjoy <3
Visit my Substack. Wanted to hop on and share this in real-time—today, I'm going through a *RUMINATION SPIRAL* on my day off! Related to not very fun hotel and insurance and post-hurricane things. I'm catching myself feeling like, if I could just 'close the loop', get to the end, and fix it—then, I won't have to feel this way anymore. I'm also feeling like, "I must be bad. I must have done something wrong. If I hadn't done anything wrong, then this wouldn't have happened." It's bringing me back to feeling like a little kid—scared and worried. In this episode, I'm sharing what I'm realizing as I experience it, and talking about a neurodiversity-affirming framework of compassionate understanding, reflective questions, and values-aligned actions that help support me through these moments.
In this episode, I read a personal essay about growing up as an undiagnosed PDA-profile autistic child. It’s a story about control, shame, and the misunderstood ways resistance shows up in kids who are fighting for autonomy. I talk about meltdowns, self-harm, emotional neglect, and the long path toward healing and self-trust.This is about what happens when you bury parts of yourself to survive... and what it looks like to slowly bring them home.Content note: This episode includes reflections on childhood trauma, spanking, emotional neglect, self-harm, and depression. Please listen with care.
The start of this episode features Biscuit's purring! :D Quick lil dive on how if you're neurodivergent, you might be better-off setting process-based goals instead of outcome-based goals. Outcome-based goals tend to be fairly rigid, and often feel very 'far away'. With process-based goals, we are here to have you feeling focusing on there here & now, and the present that's right in front of you—not a distant dream for a some-day, one-day future!
In this episode, I'm sharing a recent discovery about a "program" that runs in my brain when I'm feeling unsafe: the belief that I need to do MORE to fix it and reach safety. But the truth is, doing more & more & more only heightens my stress and anxiety—and makes me feel very, very unsafe. I'm talking about a framework and perspective on what actually reinforces the experience of safety—not to fix the problem at hand, but to close the loop on the "I'm not doing enough" program itself.
I think I might actually be coming out of burnout—and the turning point was... an allergy spray? In this episode, I'm sharing my experiences navigating burnout, the subtle shifts and surprising changes I've been noticing lately, and how a new medication has unexpectedly started reshaping my relationship with work, rest, and energy. If you've ever struggled with burnout, this one's for you.
Disclaimer: This episode is not medical advice. It reflects my personal, highly subjective experiences with ACT, CBT, and DBT. Please talk to a qualified professional for support tailored to you!Resources:dbt.toolsBook rec: ACT Made Simple by Russ Harris
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