Sex and the Psyche

Dr. Rachel Rubin is a board-certified urologist and fellowship-trained sexual medicine specialist, known from Mel Robbins and Diary of a CEO. Here she skips the greatest hits and has the conversation she doesn’t get to have elsewhere. Rachel says the words she most wants to hear from a patient on hormones aren’t “my libido is back.” They’re “I feel like me again.” She admits we’re still in the “leeches and bloodletting stage” of understanding the human body, and that her willingness to say “I don’t know” is part of what makes her trusted. She explains why she believes in the biopsychosocial model: she met with every sex therapist and pelvic floor therapist in her area when she started practice, and one by one the therapists became her patients. Along the way she talks about why doctors can’t keep up with the science, how social media became her way to teach and mentor, and what 10 years of advocacy taught her about taking action. Website: https://www.rachelrubinmd.com/ IG: https://www.instagram.com/drrachelrubin FB: https://www.facebook.com/DrRachelRubin/ News/Media https://www.rachelrubinmd.com/news-media Learn more about Dr. Jenni and Daniel Dr. Jenni SubstackSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Before welcoming renowned sexual medicine physician and women’s health advocate Dr. Rachel Rubin to Sex and the Psyche, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz explore why understanding our sexuality requires looking beyond what happens in the bedroom. They discuss the importance of a biopsychosocial approach to sexual wellness, recognizing how our biology, psychology, relationships, and social experiences all influence our ability to experience intimacy, arousal, desire, and pleasure. Dr. Jenni shares why she values Rachel’s commitment to collaborative care between medical professionals and sex therapists, emphasizing that meaningful progress often happens when physical and psychological factors are addressed together. From hormones and perimenopause to anxiety, body image, attachment, and past experiences, the conversation highlights how interconnected these influences can be- and why patients deserve care that considers the whole person. Daniel offers a compelling perspective on the relationship between fear and sexual functioning, drawing on his EMT training to explain how the body’s stress response can interfere with physiological processes, including erectile function. Together, he and Jenni explore how anxiety, fear of rejection, concerns about body image, or past violations can affect our ability to feel safe, connected, aroused, and present during intimacy. The conversation also challenges listeners to become stronger advocates for their own sexual health. Knowing what questions to ask, seeking appropriate medical and therapeutic support, and continuing to advocate for answers that feel meaningful and individualized can open the door to a deeper understanding of our bodies and experiences. This thoughtful prelude to the upcoming conversation with Dr. Rachel Rubin invites listeners to get curious about the connections between the physical and psychological dimensions of sexuality and to recognize that sexual wellness is far more complex, personal, and multidimensional than many of us have been taught. Learn more about Dr. Jenni and Daniel Dr. Jenni Substack  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What does it take to build the sexual wellness brand that women actually deserve — and why has it taken this long? In this episode, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz sit down with Ada Trujillo and Kim Aviv, co-founders of Mila- an intimate wellness brand that is doing something the category has never quite managed: making pleasure feel as intentional, beautiful, and culturally fluent as skincare. Ada is a former professional basketball player turned CPG marketing powerhouse who has raised millions for major consumer brands. Kim is a finance and operations expert with deep startup experience. Neither came from the sexual wellness world. Both felt deeply underserved by it-and decided to fix it. At the center of their product line is the Aura, a pending-patent pleasure device that layers four distinct functionalities to map the full arc of female arousal, not just the finish line. Warmth. Orbital massage. Vibration. Suction. Designed to be explored, not just used. Beautiful enough to live on your nightstand. Quiet enough that nobody walking in would know what it is. But this conversation goes well beyond the product. Jenni and Daniel bring their combined 17 years of clinical practice to a conversation about why sensuality is a lost language, why lube is non-negotiable at every age, why men feel excluded from women’s pleasure and how a toy can change that, and why the lowest common denominator approach to self-pleasure is costing women a whole range of experiences they never knew were available to them. Ada and Kim share what it is like to pitch sexual wellness to skeptical investors, and how a $1 million raise became $2.5 million. They talk about what is coming next, including a product for couples, and why they believe sexual wellness belongs on the same shelf as matcha and Pilates. Check out Mila! Mila Instagram Mila TikTok Mila Facebook Learn more about Sex and the Psyche Watch this episode on YouTube Follow on Instagram and Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when a couple has spent years working through trauma, parenting, mismatched desire, rejection, and the complicated realities of long-term partnership- and finally reaches a place where intimacy can feel playful again? In Part 2 of our conversation with Tarah and EJ, we go deeper into the intimate side of long-term relationships: eroticism, desire, sexual shame, emotional safety, and the patience it can take to rebuild connection. Tarah and EJ open up about their own journey through periods when sex became tense and even frightening, and how building emotional safety eventually created room for curiosity, playfulness, and a renewed sense of intimacy. We talk about why eroticism isn't necessarily about fantasy or sexual novelty, but can begin with something much more fundamental: feeling safe enough to be fully yourself with your partner. We explore what happens when one partner carries sexual trauma while the other experiences a deep hunger for connection, and why patience, boundaries, vulnerability, and personal responsibility are essential when those needs collide. The conversation also tackles rejection and how differently it can land on each side of a relationship. From pregnancy and changing desire to the painful “don't even touch me” moments, we explore how learning to communicate honestly can transform rejection from a source of tension into an opportunity for deeper understanding. And then comes one of the most powerful revelations of the episode: sometimes you have to genuinely accept that a relationship might not work in order to freely choose to stay. Letting go of the fear of losing the relationship can remove the pressure, create space for honesty, and allow two people to choose each other from clarity rather than fear. It's a candid conversation about the reality of long-term love, and a reminder that the work isn't a sign that something is wrong with a relationship. Sometimes, the work is the relationship.   Tarah and EJ Links:  Website: https://relationshiprenovation.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationshiprenovationcounseling Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relationship_renovation/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfb8I3evBi7aZcVnmvN_yPw Learn more about Sex and the Psyche Watch this episode on YouTube Follow on Instagram and Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What happens when the person you love most is also the person who can trigger your deepest wounds? In this episode of Sex and the Psyche, Dr. Jenni Skyler and Daniel Lebowitz sit down with relationship coaches and married couple Tarah and EJ Kerwin for a refreshingly honest conversation about love, marriage, parenting, sex, and what it really takes to stay connected when life gets hard. Tarah and EJ are therapists and relationship coaches who have built their careers helping couples reconnect, but their own marriage was tested in ways they never expected and found themselves overwhelmed by exhaustion, parenting, resentment, and a level of stress that challenged everything they thought they knew about relationships. Their experience eventually led them to develop a deeper understanding of intimacy and the realization that sexual disconnection is often about much more than sex. They talk about emotional safety, mismatched desire, the impact of parenthood on sexuality, and why couples need to be able to talk about intimacy without turning sex into a weapon, obligation, or measure of love. The conversation also explores one of the most powerful ideas in their work: our partners can become mirrors for the parts of ourselves we don't always want to see. Instead of asking, “Why is my partner doing this to me?” Tarah and EJ learned to ask, “What is this relationship bringing up in me?” From attachment wounds and childhood experiences to anger, defensiveness, abandonment, and the need to feel safe, this episode gets real about the personal work that can transform a relationship. It's a conversation about what happens when we stop trying to fix our partner and start becoming curious about ourselves, and how taking responsibility for our own patterns can actually create more freedom, intimacy, and choice within a relationship. If you've ever wondered where the connection went, struggled with mismatched sexual desire, felt like parenting changed your marriage, or found yourself repeatedly triggered by the person you love most, this episode offers plenty to think about- and plenty of reasons to keep doing the work. Because sometimes, the person who knows how to push your buttons is also the person who can help you discover what those buttons are connected to. Tarah and EJ Links:  Website: https://relationshiprenovation.com/ Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/relationshiprenovationcounseling Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/relationship_renovation/ YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCfb8I3evBi7aZcVnmvN_yPw Learn more about Sex and the Psyche Watch this episode on YouTube Follow on Instagram and Facebook See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.