No Such Thing as Normal

ADHD is being talked about more than ever.  But for many, life still feels harder than it should. Even with a diagnosis there can be a lingering sense of “Why is life still so difficult?” In this episode, Sonia speaks with ADHD coach Alex Campbell, to find out what we’re missing. Alex says ADHD brains are motivated by interest, not importance. But the world expects the opposite, and that’s the where issues arise. People often develop hidden systems to try to meet life’s demands - hypervigilance, hyper-independence and a harsh inner-critic.  But these come at a cost.  Their are high rates of burnout and exhaustion for those with ADHD. This conversation explores a different way forward: understanding how your brain works, and learning how to work with it, rather than constantly pushing against it. In this episode: How interest acts as the fuel for focus and executive function Why simple tasks can feel disproportionately hard to start How the brain creates stimulation when things feel boring Negative interest: why anxiety and urgency often become the default fuel The hidden coping systems (hypervigilance, masking, hyper-independence) The role of the inner critic The long-term cost: exhaustion, stress and burnout Internal vs external hyperactivity. ADHD and emotional intensity Spiky strengths: brilliant in some areas, challenged in others Practical ways to begin working with your ADHD brain, rather than against it The value of connection Identifying strengths, and using them to get activated Guest: Alex Campbell ADHD CoachAlex’s book ADHD… Now What? Is available here. Resources: VIA Character StrengthsADHD NZ No Such Thing as Normal is made with the support of NZ On AirSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode, Sonia Gray speaks with 12-year-old Benjamin, whose extraordinary creativity sits alongside the challenges of dyslexia. His mother, Gretchen, reflects on the hidden effort behind his learning, and what changed when his strengths were recognised and understood. Dyslexia advocate Dean Bragonier returns, making the case that strengths-based education is not just better for individuals, but for society. He argues that when we fail to recognise neurodivergent strengths, we fail to realise that potential, along with the innovation and creativity that come with it. The Hyphen Project in Auckland offers a different model of learning for gifted and neurodivergent teenagers who have struggled in mainstream education. For 17-year-old Travis, who has ADHD, that shift has been life-changing. A talented digital artist, Travis couldn’t find his place in the traditional school system. He arrived at Hyphen in a mental health crisis — and found an environment that worked with his brain, not against it. In this episode: Strengths-based education in practice at The Hyphen Project ADHD, dyslexia and “spiky” learning profiles Why many neurodivergent students disengage from school The link between anxiety, mental health and learning The role of belonging in re-engaging young people How motivation changes when learning is built around strengths Real-world pathways for creative and neurodivergent thinkers The “opportunity cost” of overlooked potential This is a continuation of the previous episode, Strengths-based education: Unlocking the gifts, which explores how identifying strengths early can transform a child’s experience of learning.   Guests:  Dean Bragonier Noticeability Benjamin Gretchen Holly Gooch The Hyphen Project Travis   Resources: Dyslexia Foundation NZ    No Such Thing as Normal is made with the support of NZ On AirSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

For many dyslexic children, school is where self-doubt begins. Literacy and numeracy sit at the centre of how ability is measured, so it doesn’t take long for kids who struggle in these areas to absorb the message that something is wrong with them. And this extends beyond dyslexia. Many neurodivergent learners - including those with ADHD and autism - have strengths that sit outside the narrow skills schools traditionally measure.  Ensuring all kids learn to read and write is important, and many will need targeted support. But are we missing something vital in this process?  Should the same emphasis be placed on the unique gifts of those with learning difficulties? Dean Bragonier is an international dyslexia advocate and founder of non-profit organisation NoticeAbility.  He held a series of workshops in New Zealand, designed to help dyslexic students recognise their cognitive strengths. In this episode, Sonia speaks to Dean, and from some of the children who took part in the workshops here. This conversation focuses on dyslexia, but the idea reaches far beyond it.  When young people discover their strengths, the story they tell about themselves can begin to change. In this episode you’ll hear: Why many dyslexic students internalise the belief that they’re “not smart”. How the changing nature of the workplace may favour neurodivergent strengths. Why a negative self-perception created in school can have lifelong effects. Advice for parents of dyslexic learners.  Why learning ‘the basics’ is hard for non-linear learners. This is Part 1 of a two-part focus on Strengths-based education. Guests: Dean Bragonier NoticeAbility Ella Deanna Emily   Resources: Dyslexia Foundation NZ TED X: The True Gifts of a Dyslexic Mind | Dean Bragonier See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Parenting a child with ADHD, autism, Oppositional Defiant Disorder (ODD), Pervasive Demand Avoidance (PDA) or sensory challenges can feel unpredictable. One day everything is fine. The next day it isn’t. Food they ate yesterday is suddenly rejected. A fun outing becomes overwhelming. And sometimes it all ends in a meltdown. Perhaps your child doesn’t have a diagnosis, but it’s clear they’re not coping. And neither are you. In this episode, Sonia Gray speaks with sensory integration practitioner Elen Nathan about what’s going on in these moments.  And why the answers parents often look for may not be the ones that help most. This conversation explores a powerful shift in how challenging behaviour is understood. Regardless of a child’s specific diagnosis or neurotype, their nervous system may be trying to tell us something important. So what actually helps when nothing seems to be working?  Elen says: “It all boils down to a sense of safety.” In this episode we explore: What to do when your child isn’t coping Why behaviour can change from one day to the next What you can do while waiting for a diagnosis Why meltdowns are often misunderstood The shift in how experts think about behaviour and sensory processing How to deal with the judgement of others If you’re parenting a child who isn’t coping right now, this conversation may offer some insight. Guest:  Elen Nathan The Playful Place No Such Thing as Normal is made with support from NZ On AirSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

ADHD stimulant medication use is rising in New Zealand, but questions about safety and side effects remain - as does the stigma surrounding these meds. In the first episode of Season three, Sonia Gray explores what ADHD medication actually does - and what it doesn’t. You’ll hear 11-year-old Tilly take her morning pill and describe, in real time, how it changes the way she feels. Sonia also speaks with Professor Dave Coghill about how stimulant medication works. Dave addresses some common concerns around safety and effectiveness, and explains what a comprehensive medication trial should involve. Medication isn’t the only treatment for ADHD. But for many, it can be life-changing. Note: This episode is for educational purposes only and does not replace personalised medical advice. Always consult a qualified health professional about treatment decisions. Guests: Professor Dave CoghillTilly and BexResources:  ADHD NZNo Such Thing as Normal is made with support from NZ On AirSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

We all know what Tourette’s is - or we think we do.  But this is a condition that is largely misunderstood and routinely misrepresented. Only around 10% of those with Tourette’s syndrome have the ‘swearing tic’ - coprolalia.  But the other vocal and motor tics can be just as debilitating. In this episode, Sonia speaks to Tiktok sensation, Leighton Clarke - aka Uncle Tics. He now embraces his Tourette’s and encourages others to do the same. We also hear from Fyfe, a bubbly and creative 10-year-old. Her mother Amanda describes Fyfe’s journey - from the occasional tic, to a diagnosis of Tourette’s syndrome. And clinical psychologist, Hilary Mack, talks about the connection between Tourette’s Syndrome, Obsessive Compulsive Disorder and ADHD. Guests:Leighton Clarke (Uncle Tics) TiktokFyfe and AmandaHilary Mack Hilary Mack Psychology Resources: Tourette’s Association of NZ Instagram - No Such Thing as Normal PodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

A diagnosis of ADHD, autism or dyslexia is merely an indication that your brain works in a different - and exciting - way. So why are the rates of co-occurring anxiety and depression so high for neurodivergent people?   In this episode, Sonia talks to 16-year-old Emily Martin, who has ADHD, dyslexia and dyscalculia.  Emily suffered from intense anxiety and low self-esteem throughout her primary school years. Therapist Jane Kjersten explains the specific type of trauma that can come from feeling ‘lesser than’, and suggests ways to heal from the emotional pain. Guests: Emily and Jo MartinJane Kjersten Jane Kjersten Therapist  Instagram - No Such Thing as Normal Podcast  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dyspraxia (or Developmental Coordination Disorder) is more than just a difficulty tying shoelaces or riding a bike.  It impacts almost every aspect of life, and the effort to carry out basic tasks can be exhausting. Sonia talks to Bayley Garnham, a 24 year old Personal Trainer, who has dyspraxia and dysgraphia. Dyspraxic kids often give up on sports early, but Bayley wants to change that.  He believes these kids need a different approach to learning sports. And Sensory Integration Practitioner, Elen Nathan, explains what dyspraxia/DCD is - and what’s going on inside the minds of those with this ‘hidden’ condition. Guests:Bayley Garnham bayley garnham – personal trainerElen Nathan The Playful Place Instagram - No Such Thing as Normal Podcast Resources:  Dyspraxia NZSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The parents of kids with neurodifferences face multiple challenges. But while navigating a broken system is exhausting, the constant scrutiny of your parenting can be worse. In this episode, Sonia talks to TVNZ’s 1News at 6 presenter, Melissa Stokes and Newstalk ZB Host, Francesca Rudkin about advocating for their children. And researcher Willow Sainsbury, explains why the go-to suggestion of ‘parenting courses’ can be so distressing for parents. Guests:Melissa StokesFrancesca RudkinWillow Sainsbury Research Study on Parent's ExperiencesInstagram - No Such Thing as Normal Podcast Resources:Online Every Day with ADHD Parenting Evening CourseProgrammes Archive - Autism NZSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

  Parenting a neurodivergent child is wonderful, but it’s challenging.  Often, it can feel like the only people who understand are other parents on the same road. In this episode, Sonia talks to Francesca Rudkin, who had to navigate life with a daughter in crisis, before ADHD was identified. We meet members of the ‘Dad’s Autism Support Group’ in Auckland who all have kids with high-needs on the autism spectrum. They say connecting with each other regularly, and sharing the highs - and the lows - has been invaluable. And educational psychologist, Willow Sainsbury, talks about the experience for parents getting a diagnosis and support.  The main theme of her research study was ‘the battle’. Guests:Francesca RudkinPeter, Mac, Noah and Gareth from the Dad’s Autism Support GroupWillow Sainsbury Research Study on Parent's Experiences Instagram - No Such Thing as Normal PodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The rates of ADHD and dyslexia in prisons is staggering.  But these same neurotypes are also more likely to be successful CEO’s and entrepreneurs.  So where is the fork in the road? What leads someone down the wrong path? Sonia Gray talks to Ricky Wakelin, a kind and gentle father-of-two. In the early 2000’s Ricky’s life had spiralled out of control. He was addicted to hard drugs and was eventually incarcerated for armed robbery.   Three years ago, an assessment confirmed that Ricky has ADHD.  The diagnosis has helped him understand the reasons behind his lifelong struggle with things like emotional regulation and hypersensitivity. Sonia also talks to forensic psychologist Anton Ashcroft, who explains why those with ADHD are often drawn to illicit substances.  He talks about the value of connection, and why this - rather than tougher consequences - is so important for the rehabilitation of offenders. Guests:  Ricky Wakelin Anton Ashcroft - Forensic Psychologist Resources: ADHD NZInstagram - No Such Thing as Normal PodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

It’s very difficult to get by in society when you don’t use words to communicate.  Non-speaking autistic people tend to be invisible, unless they are ‘causing a problem’.  Olympic rower Eric Murray is father to 12 year-old Zac, who is autistic and ADHD.  He talks to Sonia Gray about the challenges, the joys and the desperate need for support and understanding. Guests:  Eric MurrayAnna Middleton - Senior Behaviour Specialist - Explore ServicesResources: Autism NZ https://autismnz.org.nzInstagram - No Such Thing as Normal PodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Many autistic people have spent their lives masking, but it’s an exhausting and inauthentic way to live. Now, as understanding around neurodivergence grows, many autistics are choosing to ‘unmask’ and embrace their differences. Autistic comedian Abby Howells has found success as her authentic, ‘unmasked’ self on stage. The things she used to hate about herself are now working for her.  And she wants to encourage other autistic people to lean into who they truly are. Guests:  Abby Howells InstagramDr Sarah Watson Totally Psyched Instagram - No Such Thing as Normal PodcastSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

In this episode Sonia Gray finds out how vital people with dyslexia are to the survival of the human race  - they're the explorers, creative thinkers and problem solvers.She talks to poet and playwright, Dominic Hoey, who has written award-winning books, despite his reading challenges. And dyslexic researcher and champion, Dr Ruth Gibbons, talks about the importance of movement for dyslexics.  GUESTS:   Dr Ruth Gibbons - Massey University Social Anthropology lecturer Dominic Hoey - Writer Oliver and Amy Williams RESOURCES:The Dyslexia Foundation of NZSPELDLearn To Write GoodSee omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dyslexia has long been thought of as that thing that makes it hard to read - and people are often made to feel dumb because of it.But we're learning more and more that reading and writing isn't really an issue. In fact some dyslexics read brilliantly - before they even start school - it's just once they're in the classroom they're lost and left behind in a curriculum that doesn't work for them. In this episode Sonia Gray finds out about how schools are failing our dyslexic kids, and how the trauma of education is deep-rooted right into adulthood. She speaks to Michael McWilliams who found school a nightmare, dropped out at 15, then turned his life around. And dyslexic researcher and champion, Dr Ruth Gibbons, who talks about the amazing strengths of the dyslexic mind. GUESTS:   Dr Ruth Gibbons - Massey University Social Anthropology lecturer Michael McWilliams - 23-year-old entrepreuner Jane Kjersten - Michael's mother See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

WARNING: This episode does contain explicit language  Autism and ADHD were always thought of as mutually exclusive conditions, but in recent years it’s become possible to get a diagnosis of both.   Now, more and more people are recognising they have traits of both autism and ADHD, commonly known as ‘AuDHD’. But because of the opposing nature of these neurotypes, ‘AuDHD’ can feel like an internal ‘tug-of war’. In this episode Sonia Gray speaks to Rich Rowley and Annabelle March, who describe their lived-experience as AuDHDers.   And Clinical Psychologist Sarah Watson, talks about the challenges, and strengths that come with these unique minds. GUESTS:   Dr Sarah Watson, Clinical Psychologist, Totally Psyched Rich Rowley Annabelle March  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

WARNING: This episode does contain explicit language  There’s been a sharp rise in the number of adults seeking ADHD assessments, and for many a diagnosis can be the answer to a lifetime of struggle. Musician Anika Moa was diagnosed with ADHD a few years ago. She tells Sonia Gray about the mental health battles she’s endured, and the positive changes a diagnosis has made to her life.  And ADHD coach, Alex Campbell says that ADHD is about much more than focus and attention.  He explains how Executive Functions work and says the key factor is that ADHD brains are driven by interest, not importance. Guests: Anika Moa Alex Campbell, ADHD Coach Resources: VIA Character Strengths The six cluster of Executive Functions ADHD NZ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

The whirr of an air conditioner; the feeling of socks on your feet;  the sound of other people breathing:  Sensory challenges are arbitrary, but they can cause acute distress. In this episode, host Sonia Gray talks to three guests who experience the world in BOLD And Sensory Integration Specialist, Elen Nathan, unpacks what’s happening in the eight sensory systems, and how we can best support those who have sensory sensitivities.  She also explains why chicken nuggets are the one food most kids can eat.  GUESTS:   Elen Nathan, Occupational Therapist, The Playful Place Amber-Rose Nikolas Bec  Annabelle  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

OCD is largely thought of as an aversion to germs and excessive hand washing, but it’s far more complicated than that. Obsessive thoughts can be around almost anything, and the compulsive behaviour that accompanies it can be debilitating for the individual and their whānau.  Up to 80 000 New Zealanders live with OCD but less than 10% have sought treatment.  In this final episode of the series, Sonia talks to 17-year-old Poppy, who gives a brave insight into her OCD. And we hear from some of the many people and groups who are driving change in the neurodiversity space.  Guests:  Poppy Armiger  Helena Armiger  Jock Matthews Rojolie Clinic  Professor David Coghill AADPA  Darrin Bull   Jo Charman Autism NZ  Tanya Blakey Autism NZ  Susan Haldane Mind Over Manner  Rich Rowley Brain Badge    Facebook: Kids Wired Differently  Instagram: nosuchthingasnormalpodcast    Resources OCD:   OCD NZ  Fixate Facebook Group    Other Resources:  ADHD NZ  Autism NZ  Dyslexia NZ See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Dyslexia is still thought of a problem with reading and writing but that’s just a small part of the picture; those who are dyslexic experience the world in a completely different way.   This episode looks at some of the lesser-known dyslexic characteristics, the best ways to support dyslexic learners and we look at how ‘shame’ is such a huge issue for those who learn differently.  Documentary: Unlocking Potential  Guests:   Kimberley Crossman  Dr Ruth Gibbons www.ruth-gibbons.com  Vanessa Victor Remarkable Minds  Helen Armiger  Ruby Armiger  Elliot Jones Unlocking Potential See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.