Dating, Relationships, and Disability

Dating isn't magic—it's a skill set. If you have a disability and feel dating is complicated or terrifying, know this: it can be learned with time, guidance, and resilience. I've dedicated my practice to helping people with disabilities transform their dating lives. If you're ready to stop feeling stuck, keep listening. The Reality Dating is hard. You'll face rejection. But every "no" gets you closer to the right person. Every disappointment is data on your journey. You shouldn't do this alone. If you live with a disability, you've already built resilience in ways others haven't. That's a superpower. Together, we'll harness it. My Framework I use the Five Stages to Dating Success. A quiz identifies where you are, then we get clear on what skills help you level up. I give you specific activities that build those skills. This is where the real work begins. Worthy Fails One fun part is creating twenty-five Worthy Fails for thirty days. A Worthy Fail is a deliberate attempt at something challenging, knowing it might not be perfect—and that's okay. Strike up a conversation. Practice boundaries. Send that message. These are experiments that build competence and confidence. How It Works I work with three-session packages because one session isn't enough. Each is thirty minutes focused on what you do next. Between sessions, you take action. Real transformation happens through action. All sessions are virtual on Zoom. I also offer low-cost sessions for people on Social Security. You pay one at a time with proof of benefits. What Changes You'll gain increased self-esteem that spills into all areas of your life. You'll have a concrete dating plan. You'll feel secure bringing your disability into dating, knowing it adds to your value. You'll develop healthy boundaries and a clear vision of the partner you want. And you'll know you have the resilience to keep going—with someone in your corner believing in you. Ready? Take the Dating Success Quiz. Reach out. I'm taking on a limited number of clients. Maybe you need a three-session package or low-cost sessions. Either way, let's talk. You deserve a partner. You deserve a healthy relationship. You deserve to know you have what it takes.

Joni Woods is the author of "Burned, Blocked, and Better Than Ever," a book about her divorce experience and re-entry into dating. She wrote the book while going through her divorce in 2016 after 15 years of marriage, exploring both the pain of separation and the unexpected joy of dating again at age 36. She is also a mother of two. The Breaking Point in Marriage Joni stayed in an unhealthy marriage for years, spending 8 of 15 years in marriage counseling. The turning point came during a therapy session when her ex-husband claimed 100% of their problems were her fault. Even after years of therapy, he believed she hadn't changed or done the work. This moment made Joni realize the relationship would never improve, and she decided to leave. Performing Peace A key concept in her book is "performing peace"—constantly putting aside her own needs to maintain household harmony. Despite being a stay-at-home mom, her love language was words of affirmation, yet her husband refused to acknowledge her efforts, believing she was simply doing what was expected. This pattern of self-sacrifice left her emotionally unfulfilled. Radical Self-Awareness Joni discovered radical self-awareness by rejecting external expectations. Having spent her life as a pastor's wife adhering to church standards, she realized she didn't have to conform to others' definitions of who she should be. A missions trip incident—where she was criticized for showing kindness to a struggling team member—sparked her decision to live authentically rather than by imposed rules. Dating After Divorce Re-entering the dating world through apps shocked Joni with people's candor and requests. However, she also found many hurting individuals using dating to cover unresolved pain. Dating taught her she had an "inner tigress"—confidence and empowerment she'd suppressed for years. She grew comfortable being single and not needing relationships, which paradoxically made her more confident in dating. Key Lessons on Relationships Joni observes that people staying too long in unhealthy relationships often jump into rebound relationships without processing their pain. The critical first step toward change is self-reflection and accountability—understanding the role you played, not from guilt, but to prevent repeating patterns. She emphasizes that rejection isn't personal; it reflects the other person's limitations, not your worth. Advice for People with Disabilities For readers with disabilities facing rejection fears, Joni advises embracing self-love first and recognizing that rejection is about another person's capacity, not your value. She encourages people to define themselves on their own terms and love all parts of themselves. Parting Message Relationships and dating should be fun and life-giving. If you're miserable and not enjoying your relationship, it's worth reconsidering. Connection should bring joy, not drain your energy. Joni's website and book information Connect with Joni on Instagram

Dating with a disability feels impossible until you take action. The impossible becomes possible through perspective shift and meaningful action. Understanding Worthy Failures A worthy failure is an intentional attempt where you take a calculated risk and learn from the outcome. Rejection, awkward conversations, and unsuccessful dates aren't signs you're not good enough—they're data. From a growth mindset, every experience builds confidence and self-understanding. The Psychology of Failure and Disability Rejection stings harder with a disability because we wonder if it's disability-specific. But rejection doesn't mean you're unlovable. It might mean incompatibility, timing, or needing a different approach. The key shift: see failure as a catalyst for growth, not something to avoid. Taking Intentional Action Intentional action means consciously deciding to risk and learn. Update your dating profile authentically, reach out to people, attend social events, have vulnerable conversations. Each action builds evidence that contradicts limiting beliefs about your worth. The 25 Epic Fails Strategy Set a goal for 25 worthy dating attempts per quarter. This removes pressure and shifts focus from outcome to process. Research shows this yields better results because people are more relaxed and authentic. Strategic Byproducts of Dating Action Beyond finding a relationship, intentional dating builds confidence, self-awareness, and sexual power. For people with disabilities, reclaiming desirability directly counters cultural desexualization. Every time you show up authentically, you reclaim your power. Building Your Personal Action Plan Get clear on what you actually want, not what you think you should want. Embrace discomfort in reaching out. Invest energy strategically in dating apps and communities that matter. Plan how you'll handle rejection ahead of time—don't react from hurt; follow through on growth. Your Impossible Goal Starts Now Your impossible goal—finding a partner, going on dates without catastrophizing, being honest about your disability, building a healthy relationship—sits on a pile of worthy failures. You have more power than you've been told. Take those first 25 steps.

If you're listening around the time this publishes, it's the holiday season—and if you're single, loneliness may be hitting hard. You're not alone. I recently asked single people with disabilities about their holiday feelings. Their responses: wondering why they're still single, missing loved ones, wanting someone to cuddle by the fire with. I remember feeling that same loneliness for years, watching family and friends build their own families. These feelings are human and understandable. This episode explores how to cope with them—and how to use them to your advantage. Acknowledge How You Feel When loneliness and longing strike, simply acknowledging them can help enormously. You might resist: "Why admit sadness about being alone?" But facing your feelings creates emotional release. You stop pretending they don't exist, stop pushing them down. Remember: an emotion is part of you, not all of you. Don't fear being overwhelmed—most emotions, when fully felt, last only about 90 seconds. And don't judge yourself for having them. Be gentle with yourself. Self-judgment on top of hard emotions only makes things worse. Use How You Feel for Fuel Looking back at my single years, I did something crucial: I used my loneliness to motivate myself to keep taking risks, keep dating, keep trying to meet someone. I wanted that vision—waking up with my own family, cuddling by the fire. (Reality check: my husband and I barely use our fireplace because it's so much work.) How can you take your struggle this season and channel it toward your own vision? Let that longing propel you forward.

Anil Gupta, known as the Love Doctor, has spoken in 18 countries across 4 continents, sharing practical relationship tools. He emphasizes that awareness is the foundation of everything in relationships and personal growth. Core Qualities for Healthy Relationships When choosing a partner, Anil identifies three essential qualities to look for: integrity (being truthful and reliable), being genuinely loving toward others, and being healthy emotionally, physically, spiritually, mentally, and financially. These qualities matter regardless of whether someone has a disability. Honesty and Transparency For people with disabilities, being upfront about their situation is crucial. Hiding aspects of yourself creates problems, but when you're honest, potential partners can make informed choices. The issue isn't the disability itself—it's the lack of awareness and communication. The Light Metaphor Instead of trying to remove negativity, focus on being the light. Write down 50 things you're grateful for, list your accomplishments, and recognize your positive qualities. What you focus on expands—focus on what you have left, not what you've lost. The Happiness Formula: G × G × G Anil shares his formula: Happiness equals Give times Gratitude times Grow. When feeling low, identify which G has dropped and work on raising it. He demonstrated this after breaking his wrist, going from a happiness score of 729 to 1, then rebuilding to 125 by practicing gratitude, thanking helpers, and choosing growth over self-criticism. Finding Compatible Partners Go where your ideal partner would naturally be—meetups, associations, charity events, churches, or groups where like-minded people gather who would understand and appreciate you. Powerful Mindset Shift "Be so amazing that you cannot be ignored." Show up as your best self, bringing joy, playfulness, and authenticity. Either you bring energy to a room or take it away—choose to be the person who lights up the space. Connect with Anil

Download My Relationship Vision to help you identify your green flags. Importance of Green Flags While we often focus on red flags in dating, green flags are equally vital—the positive indicators of respect, compatibility, and emotional maturity that signal someone might be a genuinely good match. These are the qualities that make you feel seen, valued, and excited about building something meaningful. Consistent and Respectful Communication A fundamental green flag is someone who listens, asks thoughtful questions, and remembers details about your life. They communicate clearly about intentions and feelings without playing games. For those with disabilities, this means asking appropriate questions and treating you as the expert on your own experience. Emotional Availability and Maturity Look for someone who can discuss feelings, take responsibility, and apologize genuinely. They handle conflict constructively and respond to your needs with empathy rather than defensiveness or unsolicited fixes. Respect for Boundaries and Autonomy A good partner respects your "no," celebrates your "yes," and never pressures you to move faster than comfortable. They understand ongoing consent and respect boundaries around mobility aids, personal care, and autonomy. Genuine Interest in Your Whole Life Watch for genuine curiosity about your work, passions, goals, and interests. They encourage your independence and see you as a complete, complex person with a rich life—not just someone who revolves around them. Consistency Between Words and Actions Actions should match stated values. Do they show up as promised? Do their behaviors align with what they claim to believe? Consistency over time reveals character and builds trust. Determining Your Personal Green Flags Reflect on past relationships when you felt most valued. What qualities did those people possess? Align green flags with your values and non-negotiables. Trusting Your Intuition and Overall Feeling Beyond checklists, pay attention to how you feel. Do you feel safe, energized, and able to be yourself? Your green flags should help you recognize connections with real potential for lasting happiness.

Kalindi Jordan is a sex and intimacy coach with 16 years of experience, specializing in helping people develop primary relationships with themselves before entering partnerships. Her work covers sexual intimacy, relationship dynamics, communication, and dating challenges. Personal Journey with Alopecia Five years ago, Kalindi lost all her hair—including eyebrows and eyelashes—within 10 days due to alopecia. Initially, she feared her partner wouldn't find her attractive, worried clients wouldn't work with her, and questioned if friends would be embarrassed to be seen with her. This challenged her entire professional foundation built on body confidence work. Mirror Work and Self-Reconciliation After three weeks of negative self-talk, Kalindi sat before a mirror daily for at least 30 minutes. She allowed every part of herself to have a voice, letting all feelings emerge. This process became a journey of reconciliation between sadness, pain, and loss—maintaining a relationship with grief rather than resisting it. Redefining Beauty Kalindi discovered that beauty isn't what we see but what we feel. When disconnected from her body through negative thoughts, she stopped feeling beautiful. The key insight: beauty arises from deeply feeling sensations in our bodies, not from visual appearance. Her partner's attraction evolved to emphasize personality, energy, and character over physical appearance alone. Practical Guidance For those struggling with body image or disability, Kalindi recommends: Defying cultural narratives about beauty standards Staying curious and fascinated about your body Developing a relationship with grief (we only grieve what we love) Focusing on sensory experiences rather than visual judgments Remembering that nature wanted you—life said yes to your existence Dating and Worthiness For dating, focus on the feeling and flavor of connection you seek, not on finding the "right" person. Attraction works mutually—focus on what you want to experience in relationship rather than what another person should be like. Connect with Kalindi.

About Barb - Boundaries Coach Barb is a boundaries coach, speaker, podcaster, and author who hit a "codependent bottom" at age 52 in 2015. After decades of self-help and therapy, she entered 12-step recovery and discovered that learning to build healthy boundaries was the antidote to her codependency. She's now in her first healthy romantic relationship (7 years), which she attributes to both partners having healthy boundaries. What is Codependency? A codependent person is typically fixated on other people and situations—constantly asking "what does everybody else need?"—while ignoring their own needs. Barb didn't know who she was, where she ended and others began, or what her own preferences were. She acted like a chameleon, which proved unsustainable and prevented authentic connections. Building Boundaries: Where to Start The core shift is caring more about what you think of yourself than what others think of you. Barb emphasizes living with integrity—being honest even when it's uncomfortable. For people with disabilities facing devaluation, she stresses: people who judge you aren't your people. Start by setting boundaries with yourself first (like not reading triggering messages), then practice with easygoing people before tackling difficult relationships. Difficult Feelings Common feelings when setting boundaries include guilt, shame, and fear of abandonment. People feel guilty for putting themselves first, believing it's selfish. The reality: some people will abandon you when you set boundaries, but most won't. Being judged for your authentic self is easier to live with than being judged for a fake version. Online Dating Advice Create red light/yellow light/green light lists of behaviors you'll tolerate. Don't wait too long to meet someone in person—you'll build unrealistic expectations. Most importantly: address issues immediately when they arise. Deal with problems when they're "buds, not full-blown trees" to assess how someone handles conflict. Connect with Barb For a free 30 minute Unshakable You call to learn about my private coaching and to see if we're a good fit.  Podcast: Fragmented to Whole Life Lessons from 12-Step Recovery

You know how sometimes life can begin nudging you in a certain direction. At first you say, “Ut uh, I am NOT going there. I’m not doing that.”  But life persists. There are signs, indicators that maybe life is pointing you in the right direction. This is what has happened to me over the last few months. I have decided to close Radiant Abilities at the end of the year. This means the Dating Made Easier program will be ending, as well as my training platform for professionals, Supporting Dating and Relationships. What brought about this decision? Quite simply, my vision for Radiant Abilities and its programs haven’t grown the way I thought they would. I truly thought people would be more interested in support for successful dating and developing healthy relationships than they were. The research we did before developing the programs seemed to indicate that people with disabilities were looking for coaching, guidance and community support for their dating journey.  It just didn’t pan out that way. For my own sake and to maximize my strengths, I need to move on. What won’t change, though, is I’ll still be in the space of dating and relationships for people with disabilities. And I’m pleased to share that this podcast will continue. New Endeavors I’m beginning a new company. Details, along with its name, are still marinating. Here’s what I can share about the new company.  It will be more focused on providing in person and virtual training to disability service organizations on teaching the skills for dating and relationships. I’ll be presenting at more conferences in an effort to further the national conversation about decreasing isolation for people with disabilities by supporting relationship development. A new curriculum will be coming out for professionals in guiding people through the five stages of dating success. I’ll be developing Continuing Education Units, particularly for other mental health professionals. I’m even toying with writing a new book for which I already have the title. And I’ll be doing individual coaching for dating, which will include four low cost slots a month for those who qualify. While it’s bittersweet to say goodbye to the company I have built over the last 15 years, I’m reminded of my favorite Oprah quote: “When I look into the future, it's so bright it burns my eyes." Thank you for listening, for journeying with me as we debunk the mistaken beliefs that keep sexual ableism alive and demand that we be seen as the worthy partners we are. You have blessed my life. I’ll be providing updates on the new company and the new projects I undertake. Click here to join the email list for updates. Join me in grabbing the shades for that bright future. 😎

Conscious Love and Personal Transformation with Christian de la Huerta Christian de la Huerta, a personal transformation expert with over 30 years of experience, joins Kathy O'Connell to discuss relationships, self-worth, and emotional healing—particularly for people with disabilities navigating the dating world. The Foundation: Self-Worth Christian emphasizes that looking for love begins with removing internal obstacles, especially our sense of self-worth. Drawing from A Course in Miracles, he explains that we can't expect others to respect us if we don't respect ourselves. Having overcome depression and self-hatred in his own life, Christian knows healing is possible for anyone. The Two-Pronged Healing Approach Christian's method combines understanding the source of negative beliefs with breathwork—extended breathing practices lasting 60-90 minutes. He considers breathwork the most effective tool for healing trauma, so powerful that it led him to abandon his PhD pursuit in psychology. Emotions and the Body When we suppress emotions—swallowing our breath when scared or angry—these energies become stuck in our bodies, leading to depression, rage, or physical illness. Christian advocates developing emotional intelligence and expressing feelings authentically rather than stuffing them down. Breaking Relationship Patterns Through a personal story about people not showing up in his life, Christian illustrates a key principle: if something triggers us "out there," it reflects something "in here." He realized he wasn't showing up for his writing commitments. Within an hour of this insight, both situations resolved. Overcoming Fear of Rejection Our worth is inherent and unshakable—nobody can give it or take it away. Christian challenges listeners: if all 8 billion humans deserve happiness and meaning, why would we be the exception? He encourages doing the inner work through coaching, therapy, or breathwork before approaching relationships. His books "Conscious Love" and "Awakening the Soul of Power" explore these themes further. Find more at SoulfulPower.com.

About Tiffany Yu Tiffany Yu is the author of "The Anti-Ableist Manifesto" and founder of Diversability, a community of over 80,000 people focused on disability leadership. She became disabled at age 9 in a car accident that took her father's life and left her with paralysis in one arm. She's also a paraclimber competing internationally for Team USA. Disability Pride and Dating Disability pride is how disabled people combat ableism—showing up as the fullest embodiment of who they are. In dating, this means feeling secure in one's disabled body rather than hiding it. Tiffany shared her evolution from waiting until the third or fourth date to disclose her disability to now prominently featuring it in dating profiles and conversations. Personal Journey For 12 years after becoming disabled, Tiffany didn't tell anyone about her accident. Her "second disability origin story" began in college in 2009 when she started her disability pride journey. From 2009-2019, she worked on owning her story, but it wasn't until recently that she became comfortable with the physical manifestation of her disability, learning to stop hiding her arm in photos. Anti-Ableism in Relationships Anti-ableism in dating means actively not devaluing someone based on how their body or mind works. It includes understanding access needs, recognizing microaggressions (like constantly being asked "what happened?"), and practicing "access intimacy"—anticipating a partner's needs without them having to ask. Advice for Dating Tiffany emphasizes building community support, working with therapists, and checking in with yourself before dating. She uses a 1-10 scale—only dating when she's at least a 7 or 8 out of 10 excited, avoiding bringing exhaustion or jadedness into new connections. What Needs to Change Dating apps have fundamental flaws, relying on photos and prompts rather than genuine interaction. Society needs to close the perception gap around disability—recognizing that disabled people always been here, are valuable partners, and deserve to be seen. Tiffany's Website The Anti-Ableist Manifesto Kathy's Diversability Talk on Sexual Ableism and Dating

Understanding Neurospicy Relationships Dr. Kristen Williamson, a licensed professional counselor with a doctorate in behavioral health management, shares her journey of being diagnosed with autism and ADHD at 39. She prefers the term "neurospicy" over neurodivergent, believing it captures "the spice of life" that comes with different brain wiring. Communication Challenges and Solutions Dr. Williamson explains how her autism can make her sound robotic when she's not actively thinking about vocal inflection, which her ADHD husband initially misinterpreted as anger or criticism. Her advice: learn about your brain and advocate for yourself upfront. Tell potential partners, "I like to ask questions. I might ask you 17 questions in a row—I'm not interrogating you, I'm just really interested." Overcoming Rejection Sensitivity Neurospicy individuals often experience rejection sensitivity dysphoria (RSD), described as "a thousand micro cuts across your psyche." Dr. Williamson acknowledges this pain while emphasizing that there are people who will accept you authentically. Masking who you are only delays potential rejection and makes it hurt more after emotional investment. Finding Your Community Rebuilding confidence requires "a hundred tiny steps," starting with finding places where you fit. Dr. Williamson recommends online communities, Discord channels, Reddit threads, meetup groups, and conventions where you can connect with others who share your interests and experiences. Creating Authentic Dating Profiles Rather than disclosing diagnoses, share characteristics: "I prefer direct communication," "I don't always get subtext," "I prefer texting over phone calls," or "I prefer small groups over big concerts." If someone can't meet you where you are during the "best behavior" phase, they likely won't later. The Core Message "It is not your job to make yourself smaller in order to make anybody else fit in. You can shine just as bright as everybody else." Connect with Kristen on Instagram

Take our Dating Confidence quiz here. Understanding Stage 5: The Mastery Phase If you scored mostly D's on our dating confidence assessment, you've mastered the fundamentals of confident dating with a disability. Stage 5 is about maintaining and evolving your dating confidence while helping others on their journey. This stage represents a shift from building confidence to sustaining it - making dating confidence a lifelong skill rather than a one-time achievement. It's about refinement, maintenance, mentorship, and preparing for deeper relationship skills. The Six Mastery Pillars Pillar 1: Strategic Evaluation Develop quarterly reviews of your dating strategies. Assess what's working monthly, review goals quarterly, and conduct annual deep dives into personal growth. Pillar 2: Social Circle Expansion Continuously expand your network through new disability advocacy groups, conferences, different social activities, and varied dating approaches. Try one new way to meet people each month. Pillar 3: Mentorship and Leadership Support others with disabilities starting their dating journeys. Volunteer to speak at events, mentor individuals, share your story online, or facilitate support groups. Pillar 4: Support System Maintenance Maintain regular check-ins with accountability partners and disability community friends. Develop reciprocal support relationships where you both give and receive guidance. Pillar 5: Gratitude Practice Keep weekly gratitude journals focused on dating skills gained and personal growth milestones - not just romantic outcomes. This prevents taking hard-won confidence for granted. Pillar 6: Long-Term Relationship Skills Develop advanced communication techniques, conflict resolution skills, and strategies for balancing independence and interdependence in partnerships. Your Stage 5 Indicators You're succeeding when you demonstrate consistent confidence regardless of relationship status, regularly contribute to others' success, maintain sustainable practices, and integrate dating confidence into overall life leadership. The Legacy Mindset Stage 5 shifts your focus from "How do I succeed at dating?" to "How do I maintain this success while helping others achieve it too?" Your personal mastery transforms into community leadership and systemic change. Remember, mastery isn't a destination - it's a commitment to lifelong learning, authentic growth, and generous sharing with others.

Upcoming Events 📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. Understanding Stage 4: Active Implementation Stage 4 transitions from preparation to practice—actively dating with intention, authenticity, and resilience. This phase combines foundation work, confidence, and strategic planning into real-world dating experiences. The Six Implementation Pillars Pillar 1: Strategic Platform Engagement Dedicate 30 minutes daily to thoughtful dating app interactions. Focus on quality over quantity, using prepared conversation starters and consistent disclosure strategies about accessibility needs. Pillar 2: Active Social Participation Join clubs, attend disability community events, volunteer, and participate in online-to-offline meetups. Build a rich social life that naturally creates connection opportunities rather than desperately seeking dates. Pillar 3: Leveraging Networks Have explicit conversations with three trusted friends or family about your dating goals. Request specific introductions, party invitations, and create a "dating support team" who understand your preferences. Pillar 4: Experience Documentation Maintain a dating insights journal. After each interaction, spend 10 minutes reflecting on what worked, what you learned, and potential adjustments. Track patterns and personal growth over time. Pillar 5: Celebrating Progress Recognize every step forward—sending vulnerable messages, authentic accessibility conversations, improved confidence—not just successful dates. Practice self-compassion during disappointments. Pillar 6: Maintaining Authenticity Stay true to your values and needs despite pressure. Continue disability disclosure without apologizing, advocate for accessibility, and practice saying no to incompatible situations. Measuring Success Stage 4 success means consistent engagement, authentic self-representation, graceful accessibility navigation, resilient responses to outcomes, maintained boundaries, continuous learning, and a fulfilling social life independent of romantic status. Core Message You're becoming someone who can build healthy relationships through practice in authenticity, communication, and resilience. Each experience is valuable regardless of romantic outcome. You don't need perfection—just authentic, consistent action.

Upcoming Events 📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. How to Write a Kick Butt Dating Profile guide Stage 3: Strategic Planning and Taking Action Stage 3  of the Dating Success Path is for those who've completed the foundational work of self-awareness and confidence building. This phase transforms internal confidence into a strategic, actionable dating plan that honors accessibility needs and authentic self-presentation. The Six Strategic Pillars Pillar 1: Platform Research and Accessibility Evaluation Conduct an "Accessibility Audit" of dating platforms examining technical features (screen reader compatibility, voice commands, text adjustment) and community culture (how disability is discussed, presence of inclusive language, anti-discrimination policies). Test platforms yourself rather than relying on stated features. Pillar 2: Developing Your Disclosure Strategy Create an "Authentic Disclosure Framework" with three tiers: visual representation in profiles, direct discussion of accessibility needs pre-meeting, and deeper conversations about disability experience during early dating. Develop practiced language for each stage. Pillar 3: Comprehensive Safety Protocols Establish both standard and disability-specific safety measures including disability-aware safety contacts, backup communication methods, independently researched venue accessibility, and emergency protocols that account for accessibility needs. Pillar 4: Realistic Budget Planning Account for standard dating costs plus accessibility-specific expenses like specialized transportation, backup plans, venue research time, and the "accessibility tax" of premium-priced accessible options. Pillar 5: Accessible Venue Research Build a personal database of verified accessible venues by calling restaurants directly, visiting locations during off-peak times, and connecting with local disability communities for recommendations. Develop backup venue options. Pillar 6: Creating Authentic Dating Profiles Craft profiles that naturally represent your full personality including disability without making it the central focus. Use photos in natural settings and conversation starters that reveal values about inclusion. The Stage 3 Mindset Shift This stage represents moving from "I hope this works" to "I've created systems for success." Strategic planning removes barriers that interfere with authentic connection, allowing you to focus on getting to know potential partners rather than constantly problem-solving logistics. Stage 3 Milestones Before advancing to active dating, complete: platform selection based on accessibility, clear disclosure strategy, comprehensive safety protocols, realistic budget, database of 10+ accessible venues with reliable transportation, and authentic representative profiles.

📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise! And don't forget to take our Dating Success quiz to see what stage you're in. Stage 2: Confidence Building and Resilience Training Stage 2 is designed for those who've completed foundational self-worth work but struggle to translate internal confidence into external action. This stage builds the resilience and social skills needed to navigate dating situations and handle challenges with grace. The Six Pillars of Stage 2 Mastery Pillar 1: Assertiveness Training and Boundary Setting Practice self-advocacy in low-stakes situations using the DESC method: Describe objectively, Express feelings and needs, Specify desired outcomes, and state positive Consequences. Start with non-dating scenarios like requesting accommodations at restaurants. Pillar 2: Rejection Resilience Through Role-Playing Systematically practice difficult scenarios with a trusted friend—insensitive questions, accessibility challenges, or potential rejections. Build go-to responses and recovery strategies. Pillar 3: Low-Stakes Social Confidence Building Engage in social "strength training" through low-pressure activities like hobby groups, volunteering, or community meetups. Focus on practicing small talk, handling accessibility needs, and building comfort in public spaces. Pillar 4: Personal Rejection Reframe Strategy Develop a "Reality Check Method" to avoid catastrophizing. Consider multiple rejection reasons beyond disability: incompatible values, timing issues, communication styles, or simple lack of chemistry. Pillar 5: Mindfulness and Anxiety Management Learn practical techniques like 4-7-8 breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and positive self-talk scripts. The goal is managing anxiety, not eliminating it. Pillar 6: Building Your Confidence Support Network Cultivate relationships for different support types: accountability partners, disability community friends, mentors, and professional counselors. Stage 2 Milestones Before advancing, demonstrate: confident self-advocacy in multiple settings, successful navigation of challenging social situations, effective anxiety management, recovery from rejection without spiraling, comfort in unfamiliar social activities, and a strong support network. Key Takeaway Confidence isn't the absence of fear—it's the ability to act authentically despite discomfort. Stage 2 builds resilience muscles through deliberate practice in challenging situations.

📅 ENROLLMENT CLOSING OCT 25 Dating Made Easier  will be stopping open enrollment on October 25th! After that, we'll only open enrollment at specific times during the year. ✨ Why the change? So I can pour ALL my energy into getting our current members the dating success they deserve! But first... we've got some AMAZING things lined up for you! 👇 🔥 DATING CHALLENGE: OCT 14-17 Get crystal clear on your dating profile and create a winning plan! 🎯 FREE WORKSHOP: OCT 21 "What to Do When Nothing Works in Dating" - This one's going to be GOOD! 🎁 SWEET OFFER COMING MID-OCTOBER for email subscribers only! Get on the list here. Trust me, you won't want to miss this amazing surprise!   💌 Want to stay in the loop? Take our Dating Confidence Quiz [LINK IN BIO] to join our email list - that's where all the good stuff gets announced first!

Important Links Mentioned Take our Dating Success Quiz here. Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching, skills and resources to succeed in dating. Doors closing soon for new members. Join today. Sign up here to get notified about our upcoming free Dating Challenge and our free workshop on When Nothing Works in Dating on Oct 21. If you identify as being in Stage 1 of the Dating Success Journey, download this resource. Stage 1: Building Your Dating Foundation Stage 1 focuses on developing internal confidence before entering the dating world. It's about creating a healthy relationship with yourself first, not being "behind" or "unready." The Five Pillars of Success Pillar 1: Daily Self-Reflection Practice three daily questions: What do I value? What are my authentic interests? What do I want in a partnership? Commit to 5 minutes of morning journaling for two weeks. Pillar 2: Rewriting Internal Narratives Replace generic affirmations with targeted truth-telling. Instead of "I am lovable," try "My worth isn't determined by my symptom days" or "My disability experience taught me valuable relationship skills." Pillar 3: Disability-Positive Community Create a "Possibility Feed" by following accounts of people with disabilities thriving in relationships. This provides evidence that shifts thinking from "Who would want me?" to "What kind of person would match me?" Pillar 4: Professional Support Consider therapy if dealing with deep shame, trauma, limiting family messages, or difficulty distinguishing between realistic needs and unnecessary self-limitation. Pillar 5: Comprehensive Strengths Inventory Create a "Whole Person Asset List" including professional skills, personal qualities, and strengths gained from disability experience. The Fundamental Shift Stage 1 work transforms the core question from "Will someone accept me despite my disability?" to "Are we compatible?" This moves you from defensive validation-seeking to confident compatibility assessment. Ready for Stage 2? Complete Stage 1 when you can discuss your disability without shame, have clear relationship values, know your strengths, and feel excited about dating from curiosity rather than desperation. Timeline varies - sometimes months, others may need longer. The goal is building an unshakeable foundation for authentic, confident dating.

Russell's Background Russell Van Brocklen discovered his dyslexia in third grade and later audited law school classes despite having first-grade reading/writing levels. After successfully improving his skills, he developed programs to help dyslexic students, including one funded by New York State Senate that helped high schoolers jump 6-8 grade levels in writing within a year. Dating Strategy Framework Russell teaches a research-based approach adapted from "The Craft of Research" to overcome dating fears. The method involves: 1) Establishing context (e.g., "dyslexic person in mid-twenties afraid of rejection") 2) Simplifying to core problem 3) Identifying universal themes (like "fear" or "rejection") 4) Flipping negatives to positives and leveraging dyslexic strengths like intelligence and communication skills. Technology Tools For reading dating profiles: Speechify app, which offers premium voices that sound more natural than the free robotic version. For writing messages: ChatGPT Pro with specific prompts for warm, empathetic, and positive tone - Russell recommends using the advanced voice feature to dictate and refine messages through conversation. Alternative: seek advice from trusted friends in successful relationships, preferably meeting at public venues. Disclosure Timing Wait until after the third date to mention dyslexia. Most people won't notice initially. Let natural conversation reveal it rather than making formal announcements. Russell suggests gradually stopping use of assistive technologies so partners naturally pick up on differences. Long-Term Relationship Advice Partners should understand dyslexics think rapidly and scatter-brained, like "absent-minded professors." Key advice: let dyslexic partners express ideas freely without immediate organization, then help structure thoughts afterward. Dyslexics should identify their weaknesses and see if partners can shoulder those responsibilities while dyslexics handle their strengths. Contact dyslexiaclasses.com Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching, skills and resources to succeed in dating. Doors closing soon for new members. Join today. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate

The Friend Zone Challenge When you have a disability, society often categorizes you as the "inspiring" or "sweet" friend rather than a romantic prospect. The key is determining whether lack of romantic interest stems from genuine incompatibility or societal conditioning. Reading the Signals Look for signs of romantic potential: one-on-one time that feels different, meaningful physical touch, sharing personal details, interest in your dating life, and remembering important details. However, these could also indicate strong friendship. Essential Mindset Shift Approach from confidence, not desperation. Don't think "I hope they'll give me a chance despite my disability." Instead, think "I'm offering something valuable - are they interested?" Your disability doesn't make you less worthy of love. Three Strategic Approaches Gradual: Introduce subtle romantic elements and gauge their response Direct: Have an honest conversation about your feelings Test Date: Suggest a clearly romantic activity and see how they react Addressing Disability Concerns If you suspect your disability influences their perception, show them your confident, romantic side. Let them see you as someone with desires and relationship potential, not just a friend. The Conversation Choose the right moment, be clear about intentions, acknowledge the friendship's value, give them processing time, and address potential concerns directly. Handling Outcomes Whether they're interested, need time, or aren't interested - respond with grace. Real friends won't disappear because you expressed honest feelings. Your confidence in handling any response often strengthens the relationship regardless of romantic outcome. Taking Action Stop waiting for them to see you differently. Show them your romantic side, have the conversation, and remember: you're offering partnership, not asking for charity. Link to previous episode of More Than A Friend. Our Dating Resources Ready to enhance your dating experience? Join our Dating Made Easier community for coaching and support along your path to meaningful connection. Doors closing soon for new members. Music by Successful Motivation Artwork photo by Elevate