Healing Anxious Attachment

What if your relationship with food isn’t just about food?In this episode, I share my own struggles with disordered eating and anxious attachment, and the surprising parallels I’ve noticed between the two. From craving reassurance in relationships to seeking comfort or control through food, these patterns often stem from the same place - fear of abandonment, lack of safety, and a deep need for control.This is a conversation about the emotional roots beneath these behaviours and what healing has looked like for me as I’ve started building more security within myself.PS. On March 5th I'm hosting "The Language of the Body Workshop" which is a perfect intro to somatic therapy and will give you frameworks for understanding what it means to rewrite patterns on a subconscious level and free you of old stories, blocks, and even symptoms.Join the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡Over 30 guided somatic practices2 live calls a monthNext workshop March 5th! (Replay available) Individualized coaching from Johannalearn more here 💐Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

I asked chatgpt to play interviewer and focus on what would bring you the most value. Some of the questions we covered are:"What's one moment in your healing anxious attachment journey that really changed the game for you?""When we hear that the other person isn't ready to deepen a relationship what's one practice we can do to deepen our self trust in those moments?""What's one daily ritual or mindset shift you'd recommend that can help women stay on track, especially on the tough days?""Many women feel their still repeating the same pattern of situationships, if you were sitting across from them right now, what's one first step you'd have them take, to break that cycle for good?""What's one gentle piece of guidance you'd offer, to help women step into that new chapter?""What's one word you'd love for your listeners to hold on to, as they step into their journey?"Join the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡Over 30 guided somatic practices2 live calls a monthIndividualized from Johannalearn more here 💐Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

In this episode, we explore what it means to move from forced to self-sourced. When external crutches like validation, and good-girl syndrome aren't enough and you’re called to become your own anchor.This conversation unpacks the emotional shifts, inner resilience, and self-trust that are built when you stop outsourcing safety, validation, and direction.If you’ve found yourself gripping and forcing to hold yourself through uncertainty, this episode is an invitation to step into deep self-reliance, inner security, and embodied confidence.👑 ✨ SELF-SOURCED 8 Week Group Program Waitlisted 👑 ✨ Learn more.An 8 week initiation into your own power, through and beyond healing anxious attachment into regulation, inner security, and amazing relationships.https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/ss-ep45-btmMentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

In this episode, we dive into what it truly takes to become secure within one year. This conversation breaks down the key shifts, practices, and mindset changes required to transform your inner world. If you're ready to step into a version of yourself that feels calm, confident, and worthy of love, this episode is your roadmap to getting there. 🌟Join Becoming Secure Learn more here: https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/-ep44🧡Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

The holidays can be triggering, here's how to protect your peace. This episode covers:-How you can bring more depth and feeling into your traditions -5 ways to clear and protect your energy-Discerning when to have the intense conversations Go Deeper into you Inner Work Journey: Join the Becoming Secure women’s membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡30+ guided somatic practices2 live calls a monthIndividualized coaching from Johannalearn more here 💐Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

In this episode, we explore what happens when you finally meet a good, emotionally available man, but your anxious attachment starts to panic.We talk about why healthy love can feel unsafe when you’re used to chaos, inconsistency, or having to prove your worth in relationships. You’ll learn how to recognize when your nervous system is reacting to safety as unfamiliar, and how to start soothing that part of you that expects love to be hard.This conversation also touches on the difference between genuine connection and emotional intensity, and how to stay grounded when you want to run, overthink, or self-sabotage.Enjoy this episode 🙏🏼.Go Deeper into you Inner Work Journey Join the Becoming Secure women’s membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡30+ guided somatic practices2 live calls a monthIndividualized coaching from Johannalearn more here 💐Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

In this episode, we dive into the toxic cycle of tying our value to how much we achieve or produce and why it pushes away healthy love. We talk about what happens when our reality revolves around being busy, rather than being fulfilled. And how women suffer when pleasure, joy, and creativity fall to the bottom of the list.This conversation also explores how perfectionism and the need for control can pull us further from ourselves. Enjoy! Go Deeper:Join the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡Over 30 guided somatic practices 2 live calls a month Individualized coaching from Johanna learn more here 💐Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

If you’ve ever held out for someone’s potential because you could feel how good they are deep down… this episode is for you.We’ll talk about:Why emotionally unavailable men can still feel magneticHow to stop mistaking intensity for loveMoving from shrinking into high standards for love What it really means to feel safe being chosenJoin the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡Over 30 guided somatic practices 2 live calls a month Individualized coaching from Johanna learn more here 💐Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

Release anxious energy on every level, from shifting your perspective to completing the stress cycle, holding discomfort, and using somatic practices to create real relief.I explore how to release anxiety on every level: the mental layer (shifting perspectives and letting go of rigid expectations), the physical layer (rest, hormones, and completing the stress cycle), the emotional layer (building the capacity to hold discomfort), and the subconscious layer (somatic practices and parts work).DO THE INNER WORK Join the Becoming Secure women's membership to learn how to use somatic practices and inner work to heal anxious attachment 🧡Over 30 guided somatic practices 2 live calls a month Individualized from Johanna learn more here 💐

The inner critic and negative self-talk often feels like our own voice, but many of its harsh words aren’t truly yours. In this episode, I unpack how limiting beliefs get handed down through parents, teachers, and society, and how even one painful comment can loop in the mind as self-criticism. You’ll also learn how projections shape the way you see yourself and others, and I’ll guide you through a simple questioning process to dismantle unhelpful beliefs so you can move toward a kinder inner dialogue.In this episode, you’ll:Discover how the inner critic is formed and why it speaks so harshly.Learn how projections influence your beliefs about yourself.Explore a practical questioning process to dissolve negative self-talk.Go Deeper: Join me in the Becoming Secure women's membership. Tools, teachings, and practices to do the inner work, and Heal Anxious Attachment 🧡Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

Trauma isn’t only about life-threatening events, it’s also the smaller wounds and unmet needs that shape how we think, feel, and protect ourselves. In this episode, we explore the layers of the mind (conscious, subconscious, unconscious), the difference between Big T and Little T trauma, and the trauma response or defense systems that develop as a result. You’ll learn how the body holds these memories and why healing through somatic work can feel surprisingly safe and natural.Go deeper inside Becoming Secure. A high-touch Women's Group with live workshops and Q&A calls, somatic healing videos, accountability for your personal growth, and a place where you'll immediately remember that you're not the only one going through this 🧡 Join the Becoming Secure membership here. 7 Day Free Trial. Monthly subscription and cancel easily, anytime. Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

Your body has a default survival pattern like fight, flight, freeze, and fawn which shape how you respond to stress, emotions and triggers. In this episode, you’ll learn how to recognize these patterns, understand your “window of tolerance,” and work with your nervous system to feel calmer and more in control.By the end you'll Understand the four core survival responses and how they can show up in subtle, everyday behaviors.Learn what the “window of tolerance” is and why it’s essential for emotional and nervous system health.Discover practical tools to move from anxiety back into calm.Resources Mentioned: Join my Becoming Secure women's group for 30 Days of Somatic Practices, and monthly live workshops and coaching calls. Connect with me on Instagram, I love receiving your messages 💖

One of the most powerful things you can do on your healing journey is get good at knowing and trusting what you need — not what you were told to need, not what you think you should need, but what your body and heart are truly craving. This episode answers a question from a Becoming Secure Community Member who asked: “How do I even know what my core needs are? And once I do… how can I meet them on my own?”Together, we explore:Neediness versus NeedsWhen to meet your own needs and when to ask for your needs to be met Discovering your deeper emotional or relational needsHow to reconnect to your needs through your bodyCore needs in the realms of intimacy, sex, safety, self-expression, and relationshipsThe connection between your needs and your valuesThis episode also includes a somatic practice to help you tune in and feel your needs rather than just think about them. You’ll walk away with clarity, direction, and a deeper sense of connection to your inner world.Resources Mentioned: Quiz - Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You?Becoming Secure Community - Course + Community + Coaching Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

In this episode, I’m talking about why receiving often feels uncomfortable — especially for women with anxious attachment — and how this survival pattern shows up in your body and your relationships.We’ll explore:Why high-functioning women resist supportThe somatic signs you’re in survival modeHow childhood patterns shaped your ability to receiveWhat it really takes to let love landAnd if you’re ready to shift this not just in your mind, but in your body — join me for my upcoming live workshop: Held – Letting Love In. In the Becoming Secure Membership.In the workshop we go deep into the somatic healing needed to turn off survival mode and turn on your capacity to receive.

You never “need” anything. But underneath, you’re anxious, and wishing to feel more held.In this episode, we explore what happens when high-functioning anxiety plays out in relationships — from early dating to long-term partnership.And most importantly, how it impacts your ability to be met, supported, and chosen.You’ll hear:Why overfunctioning can push love away — even when your intentions are pureHow emotional management erodes polarity and leads to motheringThe kinds of men we attract when we’re performing vs. when we’re rooted in selfAnd what to practice instead — so you stop chasing safety and start receiving loveIf you’ve ever said “I did everything and he still pulled away, why wasn't I enough?” this episode is for you.WORK TOGETHER 🧡🌻 🫳🏼 BECOMING SECURE MEMBERSHIP COMMUNITY - Course + Coaching + Community 📲 Find me on Instagram Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

You look like the woman who has it all together — grounded, reliable, composed.But underneath? You’re feeling urgent, worried, and overthinking. Managing everything. And maybe quietly unraveling.This episode is for the high-achieving, high-functioning woman who knows something feels off but can't break through on it. We’re talking about the kind of anxiety that hides behind performing calm.Inside, we’ll explore:What high-functioning anxiety really is — and how it hides in plain sightHow emotional repression becomes self-abandonmentThe signs your body is waving the white flag (even if your mind won’t admit it)What your nervous system is actually cravingWhy healing requires more than just self-awareness If you’ve been doing all the “right” things but still feel disconnected from yourself… this one will land.Resources Mentioned:🔗 Join the Becoming Secure Membership for access to 30+ guided somatic practices, monthly coaching calls, and high touch support from me. 📲 Message me on Instagram ❓ Take the Which Type of Anxious Attachment Are You? quizMentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

We talk so much about how anxious attachment plays out in romance—but what about friendship?If you’ve ever felt too sensitive, too intense, or too dependent in friendships—or you’ve abandoned them for romance—this conversation is for you.In this episode, I explore the subtle (and not-so-subtle) ways anxious attachment shows up in our platonic connections: overthinking texts, people-pleasing, jealousy, and the pain of feeling replaceable. We also look at deeper patterns—like recreating dynamics with your mother or sister, using male friendships as emotional placeholders, and disappearing from your friends when a new love interest enters the picture.Go beyond understanding your patterns and actually start healing them at the root, come join us inside my membership, Becoming Secure. You’ll get nervous system-based tools, somatic practices, and community support to help you feel safe, grounded, and secure in love and life.⏱️ TimestampsNote: These are approximate and meant to help listeners follow the flow.00:00 – Intro & why this topic matters02:15 – What anxious attachment in friendship actually looks like05:50 – How to tell if you're over-functioning or emotionally over-relying on a friend09:30 – The mother/sister dynamic in female friendships13:20 – Male friendships as placeholders for father wounds16:45 – The quiet pattern of abandoning your friends for romance20:30 – Self-reflection and starting to shift these patterns23:00 – Invitation to go deeper inside Becoming Secure

If you’ve ever felt guilty for having needs, setting boundaries, or taking up space—this episode is for you.We’re unpacking the kind of guilt that doesn’t come from doing something wrong, but from trying to stay safe.For those of us with anxious attachment, guilt can feel like a constant hum in the background—shaping our choices, silencing our truth, and keeping us small.In this episode, I’m diving into:The difference between true guilt, false guilt, and shameHow guilt shows up in anxious attachmentHow to heal unhelpful guilt responses on a nervous system levelWhat it really looks like to forgive yourself and move forwardAlso mentioned: The Becoming Secure MembershipHang on Instagram:@johhhannamaria

After a breakup, it’s easy to feel lost—like you don’t even recognize yourself anymore. In this episode, we’re diving into how to reconnect with you after a relationship ends.We’ll explore what that relationship revealed about you, where you may have lost yourself, and the moments that felt out of alignment. I’ll guide you through ways to help you reclaim your identity and step back into your truth.Connect with me on Instagram @johhhannamaria. Please send me a DM letting me know that you're coming from the podcast! 🧡Mentioned in this episode:TAKE THE QUIZ 👇🏼Which Anxious Attachment Type Are You? https://link.becomingsecurecommunity.com/Za5WTp

Breakups are hard, but if you have an anxious attachment style, they can feel almost unbearable. In this episode, I’m diving into why breakups hit so hard for AA women, the weight of fresh grief, and how to move through it with clarity and self-honoring choices.We’ll talk about the power emotional release, the importance of clear boundaries (especially when no contact might be the best option), and how to stay anchored in your truth—even when it feels impossible._____As always you're invited to join me in the Becoming Secure Membership for guided somatic practices, journal prompts, healing exercises, and live calls. Move with a group of other women towards your most secure self. 🧡 Click here for more info.