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Only If You Can Keep Up
Only If You Can Keep Up
Author: Ash & Lynn
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© 2026 Only If You Can Keep Up
Description
Two chaotic minds discussing all things weird & mysterious. We both have ADHD and feed off each other's random thoughts. We may go off subject a bit, but we will provide you with a large variety of weird, creepy, and interesting topics. We touch a bit on true crime, strange places, haunts, literally anything that isn't "normal". We talk fast and can be a little weird at times, but join us.... only if you can keep up!
143 Episodes
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In this episode, we dive headfirst into the wonderfully weird world of the human body. The stuff it does. The secrets it keeps. The tiny, bizarre habits it has. No medical degrees. No boring lectures. Just us spiraling in real time over the fact that we are basically self-heating, noise-making, occasionally glitching meat computers trying our best. Prepare to laugh, question everything, and maybe never look at yourself the same way again. Welcome to the strange, squishy circus you call a body...
In this month's Porch Talk, we let the conversation wander wherever it wants to go. No outline. No script. Just two brains free-ranging like they slipped the fence and decided to explore. It’s chaotic. It’s unfiltered. It’s exactly what happens when you put us on a metaphorical porch with microphones and zero supervision. If you like your conversations unpredictable, slightly unhinged, and full of the kind of tangents that make you say “wait… how did we get here?” this one’s for you. Send a t...
In this episode, we wander through the curious museums inside our own brains and closets, talking about the things we have collected over the years and the oddly specific interests that refuse to leave us alone. From sentimental keepsakes and childhood treasures to the wonderfully weird items we somehow ended up with multiples of, we unpack why we keep what we keep and what those objects quietly say about us. We compare collections, confess strange interests, and celebrate the harmless obsess...
OK so you know that weird thing that you do behind closed doors that you would never want the world to know about, well we are here to talk about ours! Tune in to find out some of the crazy things we do, maybe it will make you feel better about your weird quirks! Send a text If you like this episode, make sure to follow and SHARE the show! If you need to get ahold of us for ANY reason.. you can do so at onlyifyoucankeepup@gmail.com You can also Listen on YouTube! @onlyifyoucankeepup
In this episode, we dive into the strangest jobs you probably never considered but are very glad someone is doing. From crime scene cleanup and the scientists who read insects like a timeline after death, to the less grim but equally unexpected worlds of porta-potty cleaning and professional cuddling, dog food testers and so many more. It’s part fascinating, part uncomfortable, and occasionally hilarious as we realize just how wide the definition of “normal workday” really is. If you’ve ever ...
Some places on Earth aren’t just hard to live in…they’re off-limits. In this episode, we explore locations humans aren’t meant to settle, survive, or sometimes even visit. From an island so packed with venomous snakes it looks like the ground is moving, to a tribe that has made it very clear they want no contact, to abandoned islands shaped by disease, death, and dark history. We talk about why people can’t live there, what happened to the ones who tried, and the unsettling reasons these plac...
Buckle up for another porch talk. In this awesome episode we talk about therapy, gentle parenting, a little childhood nostalgia and so many more random things that just pop up! Tune in... only if you can keep up Send a text If you like this episode, make sure to follow and SHARE the show! If you need to get ahold of us for ANY reason.. you can do so at onlyifyoucankeepup@gmail.com You can also Listen on YouTube! @onlyifyoucankeepup
Unpopular Opinions, we all have them. We are allowed to not like the way some things happen or the way something tastes. It's never fun to announce to the world that you hate pizza, but hey some people just dont! You never know you might stop mid-thought and whisper “wait… same.” Tune in to see if you agree or disagree with some of ours! Send a text If you like this episode, make sure to follow and SHARE the show! If you need to get ahold of us for ANY reason.. you can do so at on...
Why not bring in the new year talking about a good ole Apocalypse? We each unleash an apocalypse we totally made up, paint the scene like it’s already happening, and then reveal what we’d actually do when the world goes sideways. No scripts, no rules, just feral imagination, mildly sensible plans, and life-choices we definitely haven’t thought through completely. It’s less “fight for your life” and more “what flavor of apocalypse would personally inconvenience us most?” Expect strange s...
From tinsel-dusted living rooms to LED-blasted rooftops, we unwrap how Christmas has evolved decade by decade. We talk decorations that used to sparkle without screaming at you, music that shaped generations, gifts that tell the story of the times, and the changing world of holiday shopping, from catalogs to midnight online cart marathons. We also get real about the glow-up no one asked for: lights that are so aggressively bright they could guide aircraft, the fading of old-school traditions,...
This week we’re on the porch spiraling through the internet relics that absolutely shaped us and would probably get a school shut down today. From eBaum’s World and sketchy computer lab discoveries to the weird thrill of doing things online we definitely weren’t supposed to. We also get into randonauting, why it still feels unsettling, the quiet stress of the holidays no one warns you about, and a TikTok social experiment involving churches that sent us into a full discussion on belief, behav...
We dive into the eerie halls of Zak Bagans’ Haunted Museum, exploring some of its most unsettling rooms and infamous objects. From cursed relics to themed spaces designed to rattle your nerves, we break down what makes this place so intense, the stories behind it, and why people swear the energy follows them home. Send a text If you like this episode, make sure to follow and SHARE the show! If you need to get ahold of us for ANY reason.. you can do so at onlyifyoucankeepup@gmail.com You ca...
In this episode, we dive headfirst into the shows that have imprinted on our souls. Some shows we have watched over and over. We dive into Grey’s Anatomy, teleport to Hawkins for our regularly scheduled supernatural crisis in Stranger Things, gossip with the dearly departed on Ghosts, and unravel the cosmic ethics homework disguised as The Good Place. Dexter, Call the Midwife, House, and some other good classics also make an appearance. Tune in as we overanalyze, underprepare, and passi...
In this episode, we fall down the lunar rabbit hole and realize… the Moon makes zero sense and we love her for it. We talk eclipses that turn daylight strange, the dark side of the moon, and all the mysteries that still slip through our fingers. From stories and spiritual beliefs to modern theories that sound like cosmic riddles, we explore how the Moon shapes tides, myths, moods and maybe even the way we dream. We try to understand her, but we mostly fail. But is the wonder the point? T...
On this month's Porch Talk, we kick back and spiral (just a little) about how technology has completely hijacked our lives. From phones that won’t quit buzzing to apps that promise to “save time” but somehow make everything worse, we dig into how our attention spans are officially toasted marshmallows. We also dive into the wild reality that everything is AI now, filters, customer service, grocery stores, probably your toaster and how people are getting a little too dependent a little too fas...
In this episode, we dive into the magical, mildly unhinged world of intentions. What they are, how to set them, and how to manifest without turning your life into a worry mess. We talk about actually slowing down in this nonstop, caffeine-fueled, doom-scrolling world and learning to exist without feeling like you’re being chased by your own to-do list. Naturally, we get a bit off-topic (because when do we not?) It’s equal parts spiritual, silly, grounding, and chaotic-good. Send a text ...
Remember all those wild “facts” adults swore were true when we were kids? In this episode, we dive into the tall tales and questionable wisdom we grew up believing. Like how swallowing gum means it’ll stay in your stomach for seven years, carrots will give you superhero-level eyesight, and touching a toad will curse you with warts. Grab your nostalgia goggles and join us as we bust childhood myths and laugh at all the things we once thought were definitely true. Send a text If you like this e...
TRIGGER WARNING!!! Think your local haunted house is scary? Think again. In this episode, we dive headfirst into the twisted world of interactive haunted attraction, where you don’t just watch the horror… you live it. We talk about the infamous McKamey Manor, where you sign up to be literally tortured and Blackout, the eerie, psychological nightmare that blurs the line between theater and trauma. Then we take a detour into Hell House, the faith-based fright designed to scare sinners st...
We’re heading straight into the Appalachian Mountains armed with caffeine, chaos, and zero survival skills. This week, we tackle some of the strangest lore the mountains have to offer: the growly, grumpy Whompus Cat, the out-of-this-world Flatwoods Monster, and a few other creepy legends hiding in the hollers. Between laughing too hard and mildly terrifying ourselves with farm animals, we each share a spooky story that’ll make you question every noise outside your window. Sit back, grab your ...
Grab your blanket and settle in, because this porch talk isn’t for the faint of heart! In this halerious dark episode, we kick things off with some killer scary movie trivia to test your horror IQ, from slashers to psychological thrillers. Then, we crank the creepy up a notch with a round of twisted “Would You Rather” questions that are equal parts gory and mind-bending. It’s eerie, it’s ridiculous, it's funny, and it might just make you question your sanity… but hey, that’s all part of...























