Confidence

Have you ever been infatuated and start acting crazy? Well, do I have a story for you! I talk about my pattern of doing too much and how I am learning to slow down and trust myself. We’ll get into how you subconsciously communicate your worth, why being “too nice” too soon can kill attraction, and what it actually looks like to show up grounded and calm instead of overselling. Plus, I answer a listener’s question about whether people really change, why we chase the same patterns even years later, and what to do if you’re struggling with intimacy in avoidant relationships.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters00:00 Handling Infatuation & Communicating Your Value Better36:39 Can They Actually Change?48:16 Avoidant Went and Dated Someone Else After Breakup52:33 Physical Intimacy Issues with Avoidants

I just got back from a ten-day trip to New York that completely pulled me out of my routine. No TikToks, no structure, just late nights, new people, and letting go of control. I share stories from the trip such as extending my flight last minute, getting ghosted after being real, and trusting that the right people and moments always show up when you stop forcing. This is about choosing love over fear, presence over control, and freedom over validation.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Are they really the next best thing, or are they just like everyone else? Today I had a new voice note coaching client who came to me spiraling and overthinking about her potential new boo. He was throwing everything at her: masculine energy, plans, good vibes, and all of a sudden, everything shifted. She gave me permission to share her question live on the podcast as well as my response. In this episode, I'll talk about what to do when your nervous system goes into overdrive, how to handle the fear of being too much or ruining it before it even starts, and what happens when you sleep with someone quickly and the attachment spikes. Let me help you stay confident in your dating process and decisions. Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

In today's episode, I am going to share with you my truest love and deepest fear. It's an exercise that I am going to share with you to help you get to the root of your more controlling beliefs. I'll talk about how these beliefs have played out in my relationships and why I’ve tied so much of my self-worth to attention. I get into the dark side of empathy, how being nice isn’t the same as being authentic, and why so many of the things we think we’re doing out of love are actually driven by fear. I share stories from clients navigating back to friendship when they used to include benefits. I'll discuss how to sit with and handle old traumas while dating or trying to find new partners. If you’ve ever felt invisible, overlooked, or not chosen, this is for you. Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters00:00 Empathy vs Fear16:01 Deepest Fear vs Deepest Love Exercise35:54 Single So Long Now You're Avoidant42:54 Managing Triggers With Someone New

Some endings aren't meant to be rewritten. In this episode, I get into why it’s so tough to let go and why “spinning the block” usually leads to more chaos. I'll discuss how to find emotionally equipped partners, what it means when a man asks you to hang out but never follows through, and the harsh reality of why holding onto "what used to be" keeps you stuck. If you’ve ever needed the truth about whether that spark is real or just a trauma bond, you are about to get it.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters00:00 Waiting For Commitment25:33 When They Spin the Block32:45 How to Find Someone Healed41:47 “I Want to See You” But No Action48:34 Intense Spark or Trauma Bond?

This week was a rollercoaster, dates, ghosting, old patterns showing up, and life testing tf out me. I follow up about the girl I went out with and how I still felt the energy was off, even though it looked good on paper. I'll give you guys a tool for how to digest a date, which will help you understand your experience. Then I get into a wild story about a four-hour FaceTime that went from “book a flight” to getting ghosted over lowercase letters. This episode is about slowing down, letting go of chasing attention, and learning how to handle rejection even when it's coming in bunches. Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Are you ready to face yourself head-on? Today, I’m breaking down the discomfort and self-doubt that come with being on your own: the second-guessing, the weekends that feel too quiet, and the moments you want to run back to them for comfort. I talk about early-stage dating anxiety, how your avoidance sneaks into both relationships and work, and why relying on someone to “save” you is the fastest way to lose yourself (and them). Plus, I answer a listener’s question on knowing when to walk away from an avoidant partner, especially when their words don’t match their actions.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

Ever catch yourself spiraling in overthinking just to realize it all comes down to a single feeling? In today’s episode, I’m getting brutally honest about why so many of us can’t hear ourselves clearly. We’re so stuck in our heads, chasing validation, playing games, and managing other people’s emotions that we completely ignore how we actually feel. I tell my story about picking up a girl in public, why I almost didn’t text her, and how that moment exposed just how deeply I’ve rejected myself. Plus, I break down what real self-trust actually looks like, why most people are living lives they don’t even like, and how to start making choices that are driven by your body, not your ego.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

I’ve always struggled to stand firm in my decisions. I used to see my trust issues as something outward, without realizing it was never about them ... it was always about me. Today, I'll share my breakthroughs on my journey to building genuine self-trust. I talk about how ego, fear, and expectation can keep us trapped in relationships and situations we don’t actually want to be in. I’ll give you examples from two of my clients, one who’s been struggling to let go of a relationship, and one who feels the pressure of finding marriage while the clock’s ticking. It’s not easy to take the world on alone, but I’ll share how I’ve learned to sit in the discomfort and overcome ego even when it's begging you to run back.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

I’ve been sitting with a lot of uncomfortable emotions this week. It’s hard not to feel some resistance when experiencing major change in your life. I’ve been learning to let go, surrender to how people show up, and recognize that building the most secure version of yourself takes time. I talk about what it means to really let go of safety, and why so many of us cling to relationships that don’t align with what we want. This episode is a wake-up call to let go of anything that is stopping you from receiving what you desire deep down.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: https://confidencechris.com

I took this solo trip thinking it would be like a peaceful little reset. But instead, it turned into so much more. This emotional rollercoaster cracked me open in a way I didn’t expect. I talk about what it was like being isolated, completely surrounded by people, having to surrender to all the anxiety and loneliness, and it honestly changed everything for me. As I sat there with all these feelings and finally let them go, something insane happened! This one moment forced me to look at the relationship I was already in and face some hard-ass questions: Am I in this because it feels good and safe, or am I avoiding the truth that it’s not actually what I want? I'll be honest, this part of the story gets messy, but I guess that is for you to judge...Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters00:00 An Avoidant Takes a Solo Trip (A Wild Ride)1:04:55 Not Holding Guilt After Showing Up Anxious in Your Relationship

I’ve been realizing how deep my avoidance runs, how I try to control everything just to avoid getting hurt. I talk about a moment this week that really triggered me, some shit came up in my relationship, and I was ready to dip … in the moment I realized that I had to sit with it and be like … am I actually scared of her, or am I scared of being loved? I discuss how I’ve been stuck in the cycle of pushing love away while still craving it, how fear of abandonment has shaped my whole routine, and why I keep people at a distance even when I don’t want to. Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/⁠⁠No Chapters

There’s nothing more devastating to your relationships than your own ego. In this episode, I’m breaking down the patterns that keep us stuck in comparison, insecurity, and why nothing ever feels like enough. I’m sharing how I’ve been navigating my own ego, including a real story about an uncomfortable moment in my relationship. I also get into what to do when you’ve outgrown certain friendships or relationships, and why checking your partner’s IG following might say more about you than them. This is a full breakdown on self-trust, ego, and learning how to stop needing external validation.Chapters:00:00 Ego Is Lying to You39:58 How to Navigate Relationships You've Outgrown49:19 Checking Their IG Following: Harmless or Insecure?Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/

What if I told you that you ARE actually needy? That when you are accused of being too much, it ISN'T a lie, but it is not for the reason that you think! This week, I unpack a bunch of discoveries I've made for both anxious and avoidant attachments. I also made some enormous perosnal strides this week, I share about my incessant need for attention (maybe it's the attention I was deprived of as a kid, I am sure y'all will relate), fear of looking uncool, and finally understanding how destructive my current patterns are in my battle for inner security. I also answer a few listener questions, such as how to let go of someone who isn’t right for you (but you still miss) and what to do when an avoidant gets disrespectful, plus a special twist at the end. Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters:00:00 Healing Insecure Attachment45:39 Letting Go of Someone You Miss But Isn’t Right for You50:11 How to Respond to Avoidant Calling You Clingy

They always come back, don't they? I hate being a statistic, but this week I embarked on a very questionable quest in the middle of an anxiety attack. In today’s episode, I unpack my anxious avoidant patterns with a few wild stories. I'll also share some recent massive breakthroughs, such as the power of prioritizing self-satisfaction over external approval, and how to choose peace over performance. Let’s talk about why you run, what you're actually chasing, and how to stop judging yourself for just being human. Also, at the end, I'll give you a 15-minute masterclass on flirting with people in the wild. Let's do it!Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters:00:00 Chasing Intensity Instead of Love (Deconstructing Avoidant Attachment)45:22 How to Flirt: Flirting Masterclass

Today, I'm going off-script, but on script, it's weird. I break down the steps of what it truly means to build self-security. I discuss the trap of chasing external validation and how real happiness lies in the uncomfortable journey inward. I unpack how to stop molding yourself for acceptance, why true worthiness isn’t based on your achievements, and how taking vulnerably risky action will lead you to the authentic relationships you've always wanted. If you’re constantly worried about reactions or if you’re scared to show your true self, this episode is your reminder: the peace you’re seeking is already within you.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters:6:53 How to Build Self-Security43:07 My Subconscious Agreements Holding Me Back From Love

Isn’t it wild how you can miss someone you don’t even want to be with? In today’s episode, I’ll tell you how I’ve been second-guessing myself and why I’ve struggled to walk away from something I knew wasn’t right. We’ll dig into avoidant attachment, self-trust, and the guilt that keeps you stuck. I also talk about redefining what I really want, cutting the bullshit in my dating life, and how easily fear and external validation can run the show.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters: 00:00 Intro: Struggling with Guilt & Over-Responsibility for Others Feelings12:01 Overcoming External Validation40:05 Fear that I Am Not Cool52:18 When is the Right Time to Put Out

A lot of men can’t stay still in a relationship, I am one of them. Today, I share my inner dialogue around my recent separation. I discuss the struggle of having high standards versus navigating avoidant attachment. I also unpack some tricky dating scenarios on whether or not to take that extra next date (if you aren’t feeling that initial spark), or what to do when the person you loved ran away and now wants another chance (but you already met their replacement).Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters00:00 Intro: I Ran Away (Again)21:13 Should You Keep Dating Without Immediate Attraction36:05 What to Do if They Come Back and You Already Met Someone New

This week I welcome Rieya on the show! Rieya is one of my current clients, and this week she shares her story about how you end up in a relationship where you abandon yourself, ignore the red flags, and chase breadcrumbs. It’s not always obvious while it’s happening. We get into anxious attachment, over-functioning, and why it’s so hard to let go of someone who once treated you well. We also talk about what emotional abandonment really looks like, how to break that people-pleasing pattern, and why your self-worth can tank when you're trying to “fix” someone who won’t even fix themselves.Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters:00:00 Coachee Spotlight Reiya - Situation Introduction13:47 Her Biggest Fear Around Love27:47 Where Her Struggles With Boundaries Came From35:31 Why You Hold On So Hard47:10 Men Chasing External Validation58:02 Sharing a Dog with Your Ex

Ever find yourself stuck ruminating about why a relationship didn't work or obsessing over what could've been done differently? In today's episode, I break down the mindset shifts that helped me finally feel at peace, even amid uncertainty, and why embracing micro-rejections (or abandonment) can be your superpower. Plus, I'll cover the tough questions: When is the right time to break no contact with an ex? How can you tactically and effectively set boundaries early on in dating without causing awkwardness? Work with me, sign up for the newsletter, or take the dating quiz: ⁠⁠https://confidencechris.com/Chapters:00:00 Intro - Letting Go of Control16:03 Breaking No Contact with Your Avoidant Ex40:48 How to Communicate Boundaries Tactically59:44 How to Ask "What Are We?" Without Asking