Untethering Shame

In this episode, Kyira Wackett explores cognitive rehearsal, a powerful mental tool that helps you navigate fear, self-doubt, and tough situations before they happen. By mentally rehearsing conversations and decisions, you can break free from worst-case-scenario thinking, build confidence, and create a plan for success. Tune in to learn how this practice can help you shift from feeling stuck in uncertainty to taking intentional action in your life.Ready to take the next step? Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace. Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected: Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode. YouTube Website

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Why do I lose interest as soon as someone actually likes me or treats me well? I say I want a healthy relationship, but every time I find someone good for me, I get bored or start pulling away.”We explore the intersection of shame, safety, and desire — and how the nervous system often mistakes calm for disconnection. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why we confuse intensity with intimacyHow childhood experiences shape our attraction patternsThe role of shame and control in choosing familiar painHow to retrain your brain and body to feel safe in healthy loveIf you’ve ever pulled away from someone kind and wondered why peace feels uncomfortable, this episode will help you understand the psychology behind attraction, release shame, and start building connection from curiosity instead of fear.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start building a relationship with yourself rooted in trust, not comparison.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or program options that meet you where you are.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.#AskMeAnything #Relationships #Attraction #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

In this conversation with leadership communications coach Salvatore Manzi, we explore why so many of us struggle to use our voice — whether in meetings, relationships, friendships, or moments that matter. Together, we look at how shame, early conditioning, nervous system responses, and social dynamics shape our ability to speak up.Salvatore breaks down the myths around “quiet leaders,” shares how both over-talking and going silent are trauma-driven strategies, and offers a simple three-step communication framework that helps us move from reacting to responding. This episode gives listeners a compassionate look at why staying silent feels safer — and what small steps help us reclaim our voice with clarity and courage.Key TakeawaysWe learn early which voices get rewarded or dismissed, and that conditioning shapes how we use our voice as adults.Silence is often a self-protective strategy, not a personality trait.The “delay bias” punishes slower processors and makes speaking up feel riskier.Many of us fear saying the wrong thing more than saying nothing at all.Over-talking and shutting down are both trauma-driven adaptations to shame.Salvatore’s framework — Clarify → Validate → Respond — helps shift us from reacting to responding.“Does it need to be said by me?” is a powerful filter that disrupts automatic people-pleasing or over-functioning.“Not about me” is a grounding mantra that reframes others’ reactions and reduces shame.Speaking before it feels comfortable builds the muscle of using your voice.Identifying five leaders you admire helps you recognize and grow the traits you want to embody.More about Salvatore:Salvatore Manzi is a leadership communications coach with over 20 years of experience helping executives, entrepreneurs, and leaders amplify their influence and impact. Salvatore has coached leaders presenting at the United Nations, guided investors in raising $100million over their goal, and helped biopharma scientists present their work globally. With emphasis on frameworks, principles, and techniques, Salvatore empowers leaders to connect authentically and navigate high-stakes conversations with confidence. He’s passionate about fostering collaborative team environments through effective communication.Connect with Salvatore:WebsiteLinkedInReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“I’m trying to be better about setting boundaries in relationships, but sometimes I feel like I’m just being controlling. How do I know the difference?”We explore the intersection of shame, fear, and self-trust — and how the tension between control and boundaries often reveals our deepest fears about being too much or not enough. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:The difference between boundaries that protect and control that restrictsHow shame can make healthy self-protection feel selfish or wrongWhat to ask yourself when you’re unsure if you’re setting a boundary or managing someone else’s behaviorPractical ways to hold limits with compassion instead of guiltIf you’ve ever second-guessed yourself after setting a boundary — or worried that self-protection might make you unlovable — this episode will help you separate care from control and start building boundaries that honor your needs and your relationships.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start building a relationship with yourself rooted in trust, not comparison.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or program options that meet you where you are.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.#AskMeAnything #Boundaries #Control #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“I’m always trying to do more on social media — post more, show up more, engage more — because I feel like if I don’t, I’ll lose relevance or connection. But it’s exhausting. And every time I try to take a break, I feel anxious and invisible. How can I build a healthier relationship with social media that doesn’t make my worth depend on how much I do?”We explore the intersection of shame, validation, and visibility — and how social media often mirrors our deepest insecurities about being enough. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why social media can activate shame and scarcity cyclesHow visibility can become a substitute for belongingWhat it means to create and connect from authenticity rather than anxietyPractical ways to untether your self-worth from likes, followers, and feedbackIf you’ve ever felt like your peace depends on your online performance, this episode will help you find freedom from the constant pressure to prove yourself.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start building a relationship with yourself rooted in trust, not comparison.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or program options that meet you where you are.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.#AskMeAnything #SocialMedia #SelfWorth #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

Money is one of the most common sources of conflict in relationships — and also one of the least understood. What starts as a disagreement about spending, saving, or financial priorities often turns into defensiveness, distance, and unresolved resentment.In this episode of Untethering Shame, I’m joined by Jordan Pendleton, a former financial advisor turned Money Conversation Coach for couples, to unpack what’s really happening underneath money fights — and why these conversations feel so charged, emotional, and hard to navigate.Jordan brings both professional expertise and lived experience into this conversation, helping couples understand how money becomes entangled with shame, fear, control, and emotional safety. Together, we explore how money arguments are rarely about the numbers — and how learning to turn toward each other instead of away can change everything.In this episode, we explore:Why money activates shame, fear, and power dynamics in relationshipsHow recurring money arguments signal deeper emotional needs and unmet safetyThe ways couples unknowingly turn away from each other during financial stressWhat it looks like to rebuild trust and connection around money conversationsHow shifting how you talk about money can reduce conflict and re-ignite intimacyIf you’ve ever felt stuck in the same money arguments… avoided conversations altogether… or wondered why finances feel so emotionally loaded in your relationship, this episode offers clarity, compassion, and a new way forward.💬 About Jordan PendletonJordan Pendleton is a former financial advisor turned Money Conversation Coach for couples. She works with partners who find themselves arguing about money — helping them move out of shame, blame, and silence and into honest, connected conversations.Rooted in her own experiences navigating money and marriage, Jordan is passionate about helping couples stop turning away from one another during conflict and instead learn how to face challenges together. Her work focuses on restoring emotional safety, improving communication, and helping couples reconnect — not just financially, but relationally.Connect with Jordan:WebsiteInstagramReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Kyira, I’m struggling with Christmas this year. Money is tight, and I know I won’t be able to give my kids the big gifts that their friends at school will likely get. I want them to feel the magic of Santa without feeling ‘less than’ when they hear what other kids got. How do I keep Christmas joyful and special without unintentionally feeding into comparison or the idea that Santa loves some kids more than others?”We explore the intersection of shame, validation, and visibility — and how Santa culture often mirrors deeper insecurities around worth, access, and belonging. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:Why “Santa inequality” impacts kids more than we thinkHow to protect the magic without reinforcing comparisonWhat to do when kids notice what other kids receivedHow parents can shift traditions in a grounded, shame-resilient wayIf you’ve ever felt the pressure to create a “perfect Christmas,” worried you’re not doing enough, or wondered how to keep holiday magic alive on a tight budget, this episode will help you re-anchor the season in connection, not comparison—and release the shame that so easily finds its way into parenting this time of year.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).Submit your question anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest:👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout:“5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day”⁠http://www.adversityrising.com/become-shame-resilient⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call to explore coaching or program options:⁠https://calendly.com/adversityrising/discovery-call⁠Stay ConnectedSubscribe on Spotify or ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠ — and leave a review to share your thoughtsYouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/@adversityrising⁠Website: ⁠https://www.adversityrising.com/⁠💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.#AskMeAnything #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

In this conversation, Kyira Wackett and Ingrid Hu Dahl explore themes of identity, resilience, and the complexities of family dynamics. They discuss the importance of community, the journey of self-discovery, and the power of empathy in relationships. Ingrid shares her experiences of growing up mixed-race, navigating societal expectations, and the impact of her mother's influence on her life. The conversation emphasizes the significance of understanding and healing, both personally and collectively, as well as the importance of empowering young voices through shared experiences.TakeawaysNavigating personal challenges can be a privilege.Root systems in trees symbolize resilience and stability.Community plays a crucial role in healing and growth.Experiencing otherness can lead to a deeper understanding of identity.Empowering young voices is essential for future generations.Family dynamics can be complex and require open communication.Resilience is built through creative expression and connection.Empathy is vital for understanding others' experiences.Personal growth often involves challenging societal expectations.Healing is a journey that requires curiosity and openness.More about Ingrid:Ingrid Hu Dahl is an author, speaker, and leadership coach. She is the founder of a coaching and consulting business dedicated to empowering the next generation of leaders. With over two decades of experience in learning and development, she brings her expertise to a wide range of industries, from corporate and media to nonprofit and social justice organizations. A TEDx speaker and a founding member of the Willie Mae Rock Camp in Brooklyn, Ingrid has a lifelong passion for amplifying underrepresented voices. She has written, filmed, and directed two short films exploring identity, representation, and the mixed-race experience. And, she has toured in multiple rock bands, playing bass, guitar, synth, drums and singing.Ingrid is certified by the International Coaching Federation and the Center for Creative Leadership. She is a global lecturer and speaker, and an advisory board member for the Institute for Women’s Leadership at Rutgers University.Connect with Ingrid:WebsiteGet her bookLinkedIn & Instagram Handles: @ingridhudahl and @sunshiningonmorningsnowReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“I’ve tried setting boundaries with my mom, but it feels like no matter how clear I am, she always finds a way to push them. Whether it’s showing up unannounced, commenting on my parenting, or guilt-tripping me for saying no, I end up feeling frustrated and ashamed for even trying. How do I handle it when someone I love—especially a parent—keeps crossing my boundaries without turning it into a fight or feeling like I’m the bad guy?”We dig into the deep emotional work of setting and maintaining boundaries with loved ones — especially when old family patterns make it hard to stand firm. Inside this episode, we’ll explore:The difference between a boundary and a rule — and why you need bothHow guilt and shame show up when you start protecting your peaceWhy your mom’s reaction isn’t proof that your boundary is wrongHow to shift from frustration to self-respect through consistent follow-throughIf you’ve ever felt guilty for setting limits with someone you love, this episode will help you reclaim your voice and your calm.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding yourself in self-trust and clear communication.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or program options that meet you where you are.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠🪞 Boundaries aren’t about control — they’re about clarity. And clarity is the foundation of peace.#AskMeAnything #Boundaries #FamilyDynamics #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

In this deeply honest and emotionally rich conversation, Kyira and returning guest Cassandra Johnson explore the intergenerational patterns that shape how we love, communicate, perform, protect ourselves, and experience shame.Together, they unpack how childhood conditioning — from emotional dismissal to unpredictability to inappropriate responsibility — wires us for compliance, self-blame, perfectionism, and fear of abandonment. Cassandra shares powerful stories from her own life, including formative experiences with parental volatility, childhood silencing, and sexual trauma, and how those shaped her patterns in adulthood — from people-pleasing to relationship dynamics to emotional over-functioning.The episode moves from insight to application, offering listeners a grounded look at what this work actually requires: emotional honesty, habit-level rewiring, rupture and repair, self-reflection, and the courage to let relationships go when they cannot meet you in the work.This is an invitation into clarity, self-trust, sovereignty, and the kind of healing that strengthens both identity and connection.We explore:Why change is never a five-step checklist and why emotional work requires depth, nuance, and timeHow childhood systems of compliance and conditional love show up in adulthood — in relationships, conflict, boundaries, and self-worthThe generational norms that taught us emotions don’t matter and how that creates long-term disconnection from selfCassandra’s powerful personal stories of emotional dismissal, unpredictability, fear conditioning, and trauma — and how those shaped her sense of selfThe dangerous belief that “I’m fine” and why unprocessed experiences always show up in relationships, parenting, and communicationWhy rupture and repair are essential for true safety — and why avoiding conflict keeps us stuckHow perfectionism and self-criticism are rooted in shame, fear, and inadequate models of emotional supportThe work of learning partners’ emotional languages, including the difference between intention and impactWhy some relationships must end for healing to continue — and how space can be an act of repairHow to begin this work: recognition, pattern awareness, honesty, nervous system cues, and small steps of aligned communicationAbout Cassandra JohnsonCassandra is a strategist, storyteller, and founder of CM Brand Studios, where she supports clients in aligning their messaging, identity, and voice with who they truly are. Through a blend of intuition, lived experience, strategic thinking, and emotional insight, she helps people create lives, relationships, and expressions that feel honest, grounded, and deeply aligned with their values.She brings a unique lens to this work — informed by generational trauma, self-reclamation, and the ongoing practice of rewriting her own story with intention and truth.Connect with Cassandra🔗 Website📱 InstagramReady to take the next step?Join the ⁠Boundaries & Brave Email Challenge⁠⁠Submit a Question⁠ for the PodcastDownload the FREE handout, "⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“Lately I wake up with this constant feeling of anxiety about the world — politics, climate, conflict, everything. I want to stay informed, but it’s getting harder to not spiral or feel hopeless. How can I stay engaged without being consumed by everything that’s happening?”Together, we unpack what it means to stay grounded in a time when the world feels unpredictable and heavy. Inside this episode, we’ll explore:How constant exposure to crisis keeps our nervous system in overdriveThe role shame plays in keeping us over-informed and under-resourcedWhat radical acceptance looks like when we can’t control the outcomeHow to care deeply without burning out completelyIf you’ve been feeling the weight of the world and struggling to find balance between awareness and peace, this episode is for you.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to start grounding yourself in self-trust, even when the world feels chaotic.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or program options that meet you where you are.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠🌿 Awareness without rest becomes overwhelm — let groundedness be your quiet form of resistance.#AskMeAnything #ShameResilience #RadicalAcceptance #GroundedLiving #AdversityRising

In this episode, I respond to a question from an anonymous listener who writes:“I feel like I show up in my relationship — I share, I ask, I try to connect — but my partner often doesn’t really see me or respond the way I hope. Over time, I’m left wondering if it’s me. Should I just accept that this is how they are, or how do I stop feeling invisible and start grounding myself in my own worth?”We explore what it means to feel unseen in relationships — and how to find your center again when connection feels one-sided. Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:How shame and attachment patterns fuel the feeling of invisibilityThe difference between being unseen and being unworthyWhat radical acceptance looks like when you can’t change another personHow to stay grounded in your value even when someone doesn’t mirror it backIf you’ve ever felt like you’re disappearing in your relationship, this episode will help you remember that visibility begins with self-connection.📝 Want to submit a question for a future episode?Nothing is off-limits (well, almost nothing).⁠Submit your question⁠ anonymously or with your name — whatever feels safest for you.👉 https://forms.gle/1uYJ87Y2Vag6KYCeA💬 If this episode spoke to you, drop a comment and share your biggest takeaway or reflection — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠” to begin reconnecting with your sense of self-worth.⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠ to explore coaching or program options that meet you where you are.Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple⁠, and leave a review to share your thoughts.⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💭 Being unseen doesn’t mean you’re unworthy — it’s an invitation to start seeing yourself more clearly.#AskMeAnything #Relationships #FeelingUnseen #ShameResilience #AdversityRising

In this episode of Untethering Shame, Kyira sits down with psychologist Amanda Quinby, PhD, to explore one of the most shame-charged arenas of modern life: online dating. From crafting the “perfect” profile to surviving ghosting, Amanda breaks down how dating apps become a minefield of comparison, self-doubt, and performance — and how to move toward fit and authenticity instead of chasing approval.Together, they unpack the difference between dating to be chosen versus dating for alignment, and how slowing down, listening to your body, and treating your feelings as data can turn online dating into a powerful mirror for healing rather than a constant referendum on your worth.In this episode, we explore:Why online dating feels so brutalHow apps amplify shame through constant choice, comparison, and perfectionist language (“perfect profile,” “best first message,” “most attractive photos”).Shame, rejection, and the “job application” feelingThe pressure of presenting yourself as “pickable,” and how every swipe or silence can feel like proof that you’re not enough, attractive enough, or interesting enough.Performance dating vs. fit datingThe difference between contorting yourself to be chosen and staying grounded in who you are — and why “we never fight” early on is often a red flag for performance, not compatibility.Body image, photos, and the urge to hideHow shame around appearance shows up in profile pictures, filters, and the instinct to conceal parts of yourself — and how that reinforces old stories about being “too much” or “not enough.”Ghosting, uncertainty, and the stories we tell ourselvesWhy our brains hate not knowing, how we fill in the gaps with self-blame, and gentler ways to sit with uncertainty without turning every unanswered text into a character indictment.Scarcity, settling, and eroding your own needsHow loneliness and timelines (“I should have found someone by now”) can push us to ignore red flags, override our bodies, and stay in misaligned connections “because at least it’s someone.”Feelings as data, not verdictsAmanda’s invitation to slow down, notice how you feel in and after interactions, and ask: “Is this shame talking, or is this my system telling me this isn’t a good fit?”Online dating as an opportunity for growthHow the process will inevitably bring your “stuff” to the surface — and how, with support and self-compassion, it can become a powerful space for practicing self-trust, boundaries, and authenticity.More about Amanda:Dr. Amanda Lynne Quinby is a clinical psychologist working in private practice in Bloomington, IN.  Amanda works with adult professionals struggling with life transitions, such as going through a divorce, making a career transition, or relocating, and is passionate about incorporating the topics of self-compassion, vulnerability, and self-care into her work.  Personally, she is an avid reader, partner, ballroom dancer, music lover, and dog mom.Connect with Amanda:WebsiteReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener question about nighttime rumination — that racing mind that won’t quiet down no matter how tired you are.Kyira unpacks why anxious thoughts spike at night, how shame and avoidance make it worse, and what it actually takes to create safety in your nervous system so rest feels possible. This episode explores practical tools for containment, self-compassion, and redefining rest — not as perfection, but as permission.💡 Key TakeawaysYour brain isn’t broken — it’s trying to process what it didn’t have space for earlier.Containment (writing things down) calms your system more than suppression.Rituals create predictability that signals safety to your body.Respond to anxious thoughts with reassurance, not judgment.Rest is more than sleep — it’s any moment your body feels allowed to slow down.🗣️ Submit Your QuestionHave a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

In this episode, Kyira welcomes back Bronwyn Schweigerdt, licensed marriage and family therapist and self-described “anger expert,” for part two of their powerful discussion on emotional repression and radical self-integration.Together, they unpack what happens when we silence our emotions — and what it takes to finally listen to them. Bronwyn guides Kyira through an integration exercise that becomes an intimate exploration of abandonment, worthiness, and self-acceptance.Inside this episode, we’ll talk about:The difference between emotional suppression and repression — and how they shape our livesHow childhood conditioning teaches us to disconnect from anger and truthThe role of shame and abandonment in adult triggers and relationshipsA step-by-step process for integrating your younger self and reclaiming emotional safetyHow healing yourself creates generational changeIf you’ve ever felt like you know your story but still can’t move past it, this episode will help you find language, compassion, and tools to bridge that gap — without abandoning yourself in the process.🪞 Connect with Bronwyn SchweigerdtWebsite: www.bronwynschweigerdt.comPodcast: Angry at the Right ThingsInstagram: @bronwynschweigerdt💬 If this episode spoke to you, share your reflections — I’d love to hear what came up for you.Ready to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, “⁠5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day⁠”⁠Book a free 25-minute discovery call⁠Stay Connected:Subscribe on ⁠Spotify⁠ or ⁠Apple Podcasts⁠⁠YouTube⁠⁠Website⁠💬 You are not your content. Your worth exists offline too.#ShameResilience #EmotionalHealing #AdversityRising #UntetheringShame

In this week’s AMA, Kyira responds to a listener navigating the guilt and shame of loving a parent from afar after a serious health diagnosis. Despite knowing his dad doesn’t expect him to drop everything, he feels like a “bad son” for not being there in person.Kyira explores the tension between love, distance, and limits — and how shame often confuses grief with failure. This episode offers gentle reframes and grounding tools for redefining what it means to show up when you can’t be physically present.💡 Key TakeawaysPresence isn’t defined by proximity — love can exist across distance.Guilt often hides grief; naming it helps release self-blame.Shame tries to turn limits into proof of failure.Self-compassion and boundaries make sustainable care possible.Connection is measured in intention, not in miles.🗣️ Submit Your QuestionHave a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

Kyira reconnects with Sabrina Trobak, registered counselor, clinical supervisor, and author of Not Good Enough, to explore what happens when healing isn’t linear. Together, they unpack the moments that feel like setbacks—when shame whispers, “I should know better”—and reframe them as invitations to deepen awareness and meet ourselves with compassion. They discuss core beliefs like “not good enough” and the ways we distract through busyness, anger, or perfectionism. Sabrina offers tools—emotions lists, curiosity over judgment, and boundaries—to help listeners move from self-criticism toward understanding and remember that healing unfolds layer by layer, not all at once.Key TakeawaysHealing isn’t linear—it’s layered. Progress includes revisiting old wounds. Each return offers new insight rather than evidence of failure.Core beliefs drive reactivity. Many of our frustrations, anxieties, and people-pleasing tendencies stem from internalized beliefs like I’m not good enough. Awareness is the first step to softening their grip.Judgment fuels shame; curiosity dissolves it. The shift from “Why did I do that?” to “What made me do that?” opens the door to compassion and lasting change.Boundaries come later in healing. Setting and maintaining boundaries requires self-trust and belief in your own worth—it’s not a starting point but an evolution of inner work.Emotional avoidance keeps us stuck. Busyness, anger, and even perfectionism often mask discomfort and vulnerability. Slowing down to feel is the real work.Relapse or regression is not failure. When familiar coping mechanisms resurface, it’s a cue—not a condemnation. These moments signal areas that need attention, not judgment.Awareness tools can ground healing. Using an emotions list, journaling, or listing triggers and connected core beliefs can help map what’s happening beneath the surface.Loneliness begins within. Feeling lonely isn’t about who’s around us—it’s about our relationship with ourselves. The more content we become internally, the less we seek external validation.The goal isn’t perfection—it’s peace. The more we accept that healing is lifelong, the less pressure we feel to “arrive.” Contentment exists in the middle, not at the end.Curiosity is the antidote to shame. Meeting your behaviors and emotions with openness rather than judgment transforms self-criticism into empowerment.More about Sabrina:I am a registered counsellor and is the author of Not Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and Anxiety. I am also a clinical supervisor and public speaker with a masters in counseling psychology. Prior to becoming a counsellor, I was a teacher, vice principal and school counselor for over 20 years. I have extensive training in resolving past trauma and the impact trauma has on a person including anxiety and core belief.Connect with Sabrina:WebsiteFacebookInstagramLinkedInNot Good Enough: Understanding your Core Belief and AnxietyReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a listener who’s realized their planning often comes at the cost of being present. Many of us over-plan not because we love control, but because control feels safe — it helps us avoid the shame of things going wrong.Kyira breaks down how to shift from planning as protection to planning as preparation, using simple mindset and body-based tools to help you stop over-orchestrating and start living the moments you work so hard to create.💡 Key TakeawaysPlanning is often a nervous system strategy for safety, not just a skill.Set a “done” point to help transition from preparing to participating.Presence is a muscle built through small rituals and conscious permission.Discomfort is part of connection — not a sign you failed to plan enough.Joy and meaning live in participation, not perfection.🗣️ Submit Your QuestionHave a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast.

In this heartfelt and eye-opening conversation, Kyira sits down with Michelle Waymire, a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and founder of Young + Scrappy, to explore the deep intersection of shame and money.Together, they unpack the beliefs and stories we carry about money—stories often formed in childhood—that shape our self-worth, safety, and sense of control. Michelle shares her own early experiences with privilege and how they informed her journey toward more compassionate, values-based financial work.From the myth of being “bad with money” to the toxic narratives of hustle culture and financial perfectionism, Kyira and Michelle reframe what it means to be in relationship with money. They invite listeners to approach finances not as a measure of worth but as an evolving, deeply personal practice of self-trust, curiosity, and care.The episode dives into practical and emotional layers alike: how to detach shame from financial mistakes, how to talk about money with children without passing on our anxieties, and how to begin shifting from scarcity and control to neutrality and self-compassion.Whether you’re working to pay down debt, trying to feel safer in your financial decisions, or just tired of feeling like you’re doing it “wrong,” this conversation will help you see money in a radically new light.✨ Key Takeaways:Money stories start early. Our beliefs about worth, safety, and belonging often take root in childhood, long before we ever earn a paycheck.Shame thrives in silence. Talking openly about money—and the emotions tied to it—is the first step toward dismantling self-judgment.Neutrality creates freedom. Numbers themselves aren’t good or bad; it’s the stories and emotions we attach to them that fuel shame.Our relationship with money is iterative. Like any other form of growth, it evolves with time, experience, and compassion for our past selves.Values matter more than perfection. Spending and saving aligned with what truly matters to you leads to financial peace, not rigid control.Parenting and money mirror each other. How we model curiosity, autonomy, and boundaries around money teaches our children self-trust—not fear.There’s no such thing as being “bad with money.” Every financial journey holds both mistakes and wins; noticing the wins helps rewrite your story.Shame disconnects; curiosity reconnects. Moving from “I’m bad with money” to “I’m learning about money” opens the door to growth.Financial wellness is emotional wellness. Healing money shame means healing the parts of us that believe we’re not enough.Progress over perfection. The goal isn’t to fix your finances overnight—it’s to build a kinder, more resilient relationship with them over time.More about Michelle:Michelle is a queer, anti-capitalist financial advisor and coach and the founder of two financial services companies: Young & Scrappy and Glimmer Financial. They are passionate about supporting marginalized groups in building a better relationship with their money, so that they can live joyful and abundant lives.Connect with Michelle:Young & ScrappyGlimmer FinancialReady to take the next step?Download the FREE handout, "5 Things Shame Resilient People Do Every Day" and start making those daily shifts to break that shame cycle that's keeping you stuck in that negative headspace.Book a free 25-minute discovery call to discuss different program options and find the support best fits your needs.Stay Connected:Subscribe to the podcast on Spotify or Apple Podcasts and be sure to leave a review to let us know your thoughts on this episode.YouTubeWebsite

In this week’s AMA, Kyira answers a question from a listener who works in a job where they’re constantly being yelled at — not because they’ve done something wrong, but because they’re the one standing in front of people when things go wrong. Even when you know it isn’t personal, it can still feel personal. So how do you hold onto your empathy without letting shame or resentment take over?Kyira explores the tension between logic and emotion — why your nervous system reacts as if you’re under attack, even when your brain knows better — and how to protect your dignity without losing your compassion. This episode is about reclaiming your sense of peace in the face of others’ chaos, learning to name what’s yours (and what’s not), and remembering that caring doesn’t mean carrying.💡 Key TakeawaysYour nervous system reacts faster than logic — even when you know it’s not about you, your body still feels the threat.Boundaries protect your dignity and keep you grounded in your values.Empathy doesn’t mean absorbing other people’s emotions or taking on their work.Anger isn’t a flaw — it’s a signal that your boundaries have been crossed.Create small rituals to reset and release what isn’t yours.🔗 Resources & MentionsJoin the Boundaried & Brave challenge to deepen your work around emotional boundaries and self-trust.Have a question you’d like Kyira to explore in a future AMA episode? Submit it at adversityrising.com/podcast