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Improve Communication with Me
Improve Communication with Me
Author: BM
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Description
Join my journey as I try to "fix" my communication. They say, being able to effectively communicate is one of the most important life skills. And yet, communication is not taught properly in schools. I am one of the people who struggles deeply in certain areas of my communication, and have received no help in fixing that. So, I am starting my own process to learn how can I be better at communicating. I will try to learn about communication daily, and record an episode whilst I'm learning and exploring about this subject. Questions and Feedback welcome.
12 Episodes
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Today we learn acceptance.
Acceptance is often the best route if the problems you have cannot be solved, or you're unable to solve them right away.
Three paths to acceptance are - observing your thoughts and moods rather than judging them or acting on them, keeping the big picture in mind, and acting in accord with your values even when you are distressed.
How are thoughts related to anxiety? In this episode we go over some text and also do an exercise to identify the thoughts we had in an anxious situation.
Today we learnt that anxiety has physical and mental symptoms. Anxiety comes in two behavioral forms -
1. Avoidance
2. Safety behaviors
Copping behaviors should be adopted to reduce anxiety over time.
Today I go over chapter 14 of book "Mind over mood" and understand about anxiety. I also finished chapter 4 from previous episode. We learnt about mood severity and anxiety physical symptoms. Start rating your mood on a scale of 0-100% and start noting down your physical symptoms of anxiety. Here is the worksheet that helps - https://infosheets.mindovermood.com/MOM2-worksheet-14-1.pdf
Today, we're continuing to understand ourselves by learning how to identify moods. Reading chapter 4 of this book - "Mind over Mood", we learn that:
Moods can usually be described in one word
Situations and behaviors can be described by asking yourself: Who? What? When? Where?
Identifying specific moods helps you set goals and track progress
Thoughts are the words, images, and memories that go through your mind.
Summary: Today I go over the book "Mind over Mood", and read its chapter 3 "It's the thought that counts".
Thought affects mood
Thought affects behavior
Thought affects physical reaction
Environment affects thought
Life experiences determine the attitudes, beliefs and thoughts that develop in childhood and often persist into adulthood.
Today I reflect. I see what I did good and what I missed out on.
Reversing Anxiety and Conquering Incongruence - https://www.healthywa.wa.gov.au/Articles/A_E/Anxiety-reversing-the-vicious-cycle#, https://link.springer.com/referenceworkentry/10.1007/978-3-319-28099-8_1441-1
Summary:
Anxiety can have a significant impact on one’s behavior and daily life
Anxiety feeds itself in a vicious cycle
Anxiety arose from incongruent personality
Incongruent personality has distorted sense of self
Incongruent people become defensive and denies reality thereby increasing anxiety
Avoidance and safety behaviors can also fuel anxiety
Gradual confronting feared situations is a the medicine for anxiety
Coping skills such as Breathing and Thinking help conquer the mind when facing anxious situations
Today I went over Self love, which is a crucial part of our personality building. Here is the reading link - https://www.forbes.com/health/mind/how-to-practice-self-love/
The main points of today were:
Self love helps with mental and physical health
Happiness, self-acceptance, self-esteem, self-awareness and self-foregiveness are mental benefits of self love
Keep a gratitude journal
Give yourself compliment
Speak to yourself like a friend
Practice mindfulness
Celebrate small wins
Limit time on social media
Today, there is an opinion question about upcoming episode suggestions.
Today I take feedback from yesterday's practice and learn more about Tone and Clarity. I go through these two webpages to learn about today's topic - https://www.tonyrobbins.com/love-relationships/watching-your-tone/, https://www.quora.com/I-speak-too-fast-and-unclear-how-can-I-improve-this
There are 4 components of voice’s tone - Pitch, Volume, Pace, Timbre
Pitch - High pitch is immature & defensive voice, and Low pitch is unnecessarily heavy and unpleasant
Volume - Low volume is inaudible, and high volume is argumentative
Pace - Slow pace is boring, and high pace is difficult to understand
Timbre - Imparts personality - frustrated, rushed, sad, happy
To improve language clarity, do - meditation, visualization, practice, abdomen breathing
Today I pick up one of the most critical types of conversation skills - conversation skills at work. Work meetings are boring for everyone, but if we slack(pun intended) on proper communication, it doesn't take much time to fall behind, and even, lose the job. That's why, it is important to train to listen and respond properly at work meetings.
Today I read from this article - https://hbr.org/2021/12/how-to-become-a-better-listener
Today I went highlighted some of the difficulties in communication that I face.
Improper Listening
Lack of recall from conversations
Miscommunication under stress
Conflicts during conversation
Lack of consciousness while speaking(Lack of thought clarity)
To address the first problem, I went through the following blog and learnt what research says about active listening, from one of the founders of humanistic psychology, Carl Rogers. Rogers was the first to develop a talking based approach to learn more about humans. If Carl rogers can learn deep truths about a person by just talking to them, he might have a thing or two to say about listening effectively!
https://aeon.co/essays/the-psychologist-carl-rogers-and-the-art-of-active-listening




