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© Adam Hurrey & Goalhanger
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Deconstructing the gloriously unique language of football – the words, the phrases and the tiny things you didn't think you cared about – with Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare & David Walker.
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261 Episodes
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1The 23rd edition of the Football Clichés Quiz sees Adam, Charlie and Nick take on their familiar foes of Bobby, Theo and Eamo from four-time quiz visitors the Career We Go podcast.
The questions include: experimental pitch markings, Champions League final losers, solo Prem Portugeezers, Joe-Max Moore’s niche claim to fame, Premier League Dennises, the sound of cult football incidents, incrementally-revealed career paths and, of course, Happy Hunting Grounds.
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: reviewing a perfectly-formed set of FA Cup quarter-finals, Ally McCoist combines three subtly different cliches into one, the technicalities of a "see-saw thriller", a potentially terrible football-chant-based TV game show, England strikers' names in 1980s cartoons, the future prospect of Diego Simeone in the Premier League and the universal potential of the phrase "lost a yard".
Meanwhile, the panel get stuck into the newly-launched Premier League Archive, which contains highlights of every single top-flight game since 1992.
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Adam Hurrey is joined by David Walker and Michael Cox to select a lineup of player types that have - temporarily or permanently - gone out of footballing fashion.
The selection process takes in truly unhinged goalkeepers, the 20-year heyday of the sweeper, no-nonsense penalty-taking full-backs, the demise of the Premier League own-goal machine, dedicated man-markers, the surprising nuances of the "free role", portly strikers, beanpole strike partners and the long-lost art of poaching.
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Dave's Sunday League management rollercoaster, Ben White's surreal Wembley evening, David Moyes's pointless Brazilian alter ego, Henry Winter on The Killers, the fascinating FIFA Series tournament, the crucial differences between "head to head" and "toe to toe", the football shirts of Butlins, the battle for bragging rights in Biggleswade and some above-average fictional football commentary.
Meanwhile, the panel fulfil their solemn duty of reflecting on a frankly sensational newspaper interview with Richard Keys.
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The pod welcomes Susie Dent, the queen of Countdown's dictionary corner, to examine the language of football in the sort of detail we've always dreamed of.
Susie takes us through the ironic death of the word bouncebackability, why aplomb is not quite as glamorous as it might sound, talismans, gilt-edged changes, what it feels like to be a stalwart, lambasts vs tirades, princocks and pavonisers, and what it really means to be "at sixes and sevens".
Meanwhile, there's talk of tinpot dictionaries that just can’t compete with the Big Three, Arsene Wenger speaking a language none of us will understand, and could the "iron bucket" become the new "parking the bus"?
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: a cultural review of the Carabao Cup final, a yodelling commentator at Craven Cottage, Glenn Hoddle's idiosyncrasies rubbing off on his commentary partner, a borderline “rolling back the years” case study, the rise and rise of Joe “Absolute” Hart, FIFA reveal the most "Super Sunday intro" song ever heard... and Richard Keys’ voice in slapstick megalomaniac cartoon villains.
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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the GoPro goalkeepers of non-league, the concept of an English fan being really, really into the Australian A-League, the "overhit crossfield pass" apology transaction and a man who thinks he’s cracked the pressing structures of elite football in the 2020s.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel discover David Beckham’s under-reported claim to football history and enjoy the latest Cliches-referencing wrestling commentary from the USA.
Play the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz at games.footballcliches.com
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: the tense early exchanges of Dave's parenthood, Peter Drury resorting to the L-word at the Emirates on Saturday, Max Dowman's World Cup clamour rating, the use of the word "donk" on Match of the Day, the media's gleeful pursuit of an ever-willing Harry Redknapp, some archive Jonathan Pearce audio, Bodo/Glimt's 2025/26 residency in dreamland, great physicist's names in UEFA Conference League scoreboards and the national panic over English sides' struggles in the Champions League knockouts.
Meanwhile, the pod announces the new Happy Hunting Grounds daily quiz game, which is available to play at games.footballcliches.com
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The pod welcomes the writer, esteemed pintsman and creator of Dead Pubs, Jimmy McIntosh, for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as he chooses his six personal fascinations and irritations of football.
Among Jimmy's selections are the nuances of watching live games in the pub (feat. Arsenal fans doing the Gyokeres celebration), the pioneering work of sporting director Damien Comolli, British football's aversion to poetic player nicknames, the rise (and potential fall) of "limbs" culture and the logistical nightmare of the half-time stadium pint.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel reflect on the subtler elements of Tuesday night's Atletico-Spurs chaos.
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a new shade of yellow card is invented, VAR delays in Roman times, legendary goalscorers' names in police documentaries, Neil Warnock's ultra-obscure cultural references in post-match interviews and Richard Keys on Indy 500 hosting duties.
Meanwhile, the panel classify each FA Cup fifth-round exit/progression and ponder if someone could ever win player of the month with just a single-game performance.
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and James Maw. On the agenda: the official start to the business end of the season, Wolves getting people whispering, Evann Guessand's very precise transfer clause, other podcasts adopting the Cliches Way, Benjamin Sesko's windows, Emma Radacanu's Watford coaches and Richard Keys featuring in a sensational URL.
Meanwhile, the panel determine the exact criteria for a team to be in “freefall” and which football clubs have the most similar level of prestige as their local university.
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The pod welcomes TNT Sports co-commentator Lucy Ward for the latest edition of Mesut Haaland Dicks, as she chooses her six personal fascinations and irritations of football.
Among Lucy's selections are the joy of young players making their senior debut, fence-perching and megaphone-toting Continental ultras, the post-goal cue for a co-commentator to wax lyrical, the "Ayling Flop" and clubs tenuously claiming youth signings as "one of their own".
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel hear an unexpected pre-penalty shout at Yeovil, ponder a potential technicality in awarding the save of the season, and get mathematical about passes being put on a proverbial "sixpence".
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Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Nick Miller entertain this month's listener entries for Mesut Haaland Dicks, as the Clichés faithful nominate their niche footballing fascinations and irritations.
Among the selections are the mid-game solidarity between opposing 5-a-side goalkeepers, top-half teams with wildly anomalous goal differences, managers who performatively refuse to watch their players taking penalties, and the attitude of pubs towards their flag-based bunting during major tournaments.
Meanwhile, the Adjudication Panel enjoy a quintessentially Scottish football phone-in caller and a listener flags a very niche noise made by a commentator that we will now never be able to ignore.
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and, for his 100th appearance, Nick Miller. On the agenda: a cultural review of the North London derby, the threshold for a team "laying a glove" on the opposition, Champions League commentary with an unexpected voice twin, the concept of “losing the dressing room” handily explained by the BBC, the latest superbly-named Brazilian youth player and a classic Richard Keys interview from the late 1980s.
Meanwhile, the panel reveal the real reason that Manchester City pipped Manchester United to the Premier League title in 2012.
Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Glenn Hoddle suffers the commentator's curse in the Champions League once again, Tony Dorigo's possible claim to an obscure football record, Coventry 3 Middlesbrough 1 boiled down to its purest Gary Weaver, an unexpected return for Gazzetta Football Italia (sort of), and the news of a football-themed Dutch reality TV show.
Meanwhile, the panel decide the most acceptable moment and game state for a fanbase to ask their manager to "give them a wave".
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: Pep Guardiola vs Daffy Duck in a fight for the soul of the FA Cup, whistling co-commentators, footballers’ names in US cop documentaries, Jamie O’Hara and Jason Cundy exceed themselves on Talksport, Michael Owen vs Ryan Giggs in the "Far East betting company ambassador video" stakes and predicting Richard Keys’ next withering managerial nickname.
Meanwhile, the panel ponder the most Watfordy Nottingham Forest manager never to manage Watford... and vice versa.
Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
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Adam Hurrey is joined by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker for the 500th episode of the podcast. On the agenda: the finer details and ramifications of Thomas Frank being sacked by Spurs, celebrity chefs' names in Premier League goals, superb sponsors in National League clubs’ full-time tweets, Adidas releasing a disgustingly expensive multipack of every World Cup ball ever, the dubious concept of a "ding-dong stalemate", and the least exciting "Winner Stays On" TikTok video football will ever produce.
Meanwhile, the panel attempt another scaling of the Happy Hunting Grounds Ladder, the ultimate Premier League goalscoring quiz challenge.
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Steve Bruce adds a crucial syllable to Pep Guardiola's legacy, gloriously synchronised radio commentary at Derby County, an unlikely candidate to be the new David Attenborough, an all-conquering UK tree qualifies for Europe, and a new use for the much-maligned Stockley Park.
Meanwhile, the panel pick apart the confused, "common sense"-obsessed discourse in the aftermath of Liverpool 1 Manchester City 2.
Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the midweek Adjudication Panel by Charlie Eccleshare and David Walker. On the agenda: Carabao Cup curiosities, the exact status of Arsenal's quadruple hopes, a very subtle footballing prefix for a certain level of player, two listeners submit their 1,500-word mini-thesis on what constitutes a “finish”, the January Transfers That Just Feel So Right XI and a first-ever attempt at quiz format Happy Hunting Grounds: The Ladder.
Meanwhile, the panel react to the bombshell news of Keys & Gray's departure from beIN Sports at the end of this season.
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Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: subtle podcast references at the darts, goal probabilities with Clinton Morrison, West Brom fans' limited patience with their new manager, football boot manufacturers appearing in Latin epic poems, Conor Coady goes full Conor Coady in his first interview as a Charlton player and selecting the best moment of Ian Holloway's latest outburst.
Meanwhile, the panel debate the aesthetic and technical merits of scorpion-kick goals and ponder the exact level of their own "ball knowledge".
Sign up for Dreamland, the members-only Football Clichés experience, to access our exclusive new show and much more: https://dreamland.footballcliches.com
Download SAILY in your app store and use code CLICHES at checkout to get an exclusive 15% off your first purchase! For more info, visit https://saily.com/cliches
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That was NOT Norwegian, it was Danish!
This was excellent, best MHD in months. Definitely checking out the Screen Rot podcast today. Mind you, one of them sounded very much like Adam!
The quizzes are exceptional.
What’s with Charlie’s new weird smuggy mcsmuggerson laugh?
how long after being struck can the cross still shake for? Sam Matterface said it nearly 2 mins after a shot hit the bar tonight.
The Rolls Royce of Football podcasts.
cometh the hour